Trout 2011/12/30(Fri)18:38 No. 376338 ID: 9c7c3b
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>"Well, without a means of transportation, there is no chance in Heaven that we can complete this mission."
>"Roight, we might as well be crawlin' th' whole way to th' fuel depot."
>"Perhaps we COULD walk to that proceeding village down the road?"
>"It'd probably take'uh few hours, but it's either that or wait here 'till some more Krauts walk by lookin fer their mates."
>"Holy CRAP, guys, look at all this! There's gotta be a few hundred bottles of this stuff in here!"
>"Yeah, yeah, this is a bar, yeh yank. It shouldn't be much of a surprise."
>"Fuck you too, koala. I am totally taking a few of these with me."
>"...either way, we're going to have to obtain a vehicle from somewhere, THANKS TO THE DAMNED RUSKIE."
>"Fuckin' Russian."
>"Goddamn commie."

Trout 2011/12/30(Fri)18:39 No. 376339 ID: 9c7c3b
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Здравствуйте еще раз, comrades! We are still in bar! After Nazi bunkhouse was burned down, bartender let me have all of bar in exchange for jeep! According to allies, we needed jeep, so maybe was not good idea! Now we are being stuck in small village!
...I am also needing to find a way to take more vodka!

Craft bar into alcohol-powered mech.

And by alcohol powered I'm sure you mean hoviet on a treadmill chasing a bottle hanging on a rope, right?

>>376339
From the map, it looks like you're within easy walking distance of a German base. A German base with a wide variety of vehicles, including armored personnel carriers. The solution should be obvious.

>Kill bartender
>Acquire bar and jeep

>>376378
He already left.

Sero: loot burnt down bunkhouse and use their helmets as baskets to carry vodka.

>>376349
Excellent proposition comrade!

Wait in ambush for the next German patrol and make with the redistribution of the wealth.

>>376339
Head to nearest german base to redistribute their wealth of trucks to the needy masses. But before we do that we need to get roaring drunk and pass out.

>>376474
Better idea: Head to German base and redistribute their organs to the needy masses.

>>376349
Yeah, we should totally sneak into the base, steal the vehicles, and then surprise-attack that same base with those vehicles!

IF YOU DO NOT LOOT A STUG YOU ARE FASCIST.

I'M AN EXPERT AT LOOTING STUGS, SO YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.

Trout 2011/12/31(Sat)23:03 No. 376710 ID: 9c7c3b
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>Craft bar into alcohol-powered mech.
What is "mech"?

>From the map, it looks like you're within easy walking distance of a German base.
Нет, base on map is final objective! And is over hundred miles away! Cannot walk there!

>loot burnt down bunkhouse and use their helmets as baskets to carry vodka.
Bunkhouse is ash! Nothing is being left!

>Head to nearest german base to redistribute their wealth of trucks to the needy masses.
Nearest Nazi base is objective! I am guessing no Nazi is wanting to stay long in Russia!

>IF YOU DO NOT LOOT A STUG YOU ARE FASCIST.
I will keep eye out!

>Wait in ambush for the next German patrol and make with the redistribution of the wealth.
This is maybe best plan, but next patrol may not be for many hours or even days! Maybe is just more time for preparing! I could be finding something to do in meantime, but man with large hat says that "time is critical"!

>>376710

Your entire combat strategy should consist of molotovs. Thousands of molotovs.

>>376710
Make firing positions by the road entrances and bunker down.

Buy some horses with your vodka.

>>376710
Go and look for some horses, possibly with a cart that you can put a HMG on. It will probably be more stealthy to approach on horseback.

Wilson: Get lost and arrive in Australia.

ONE HUNDRED MILLION MOLOTOVS

>>376765
Better yet, get lost while searching for water, and end up in South East Asia.

Trout 2012/01/04(Wed)20:59 No. 377627 ID: 9c7c3b
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>molotovs.
>Thousands of molotovs.
>ONE HUNDRED MILLION MOLOTOVS

American!
>"Yeah, what?"
I am needing you to do something!
>"Oh christ, this isn't going to be something weird, is it?"
No! Please to be making molotovs!
>"With what, this booze? And haven't you burnt down enough buildings today?"
Trust me, I am having plan!
>"But-- Okay, okay, fine. Seems like a waste of good stuff."

...We are having plan with molotovs, не так ли?

>"Where th' hell are you goin' ruskie?"
Outside!
>"Yer not goin' to burn down more buildins', right?"
Нет! Will be back in bit
>"Just be quick with it."

Trout 2012/01/04(Wed)20:59 No. 377628 ID: 9c7c3b
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>Go and look for some horses
>Buy some horses with your vodka.
Am not seeing any horses! In fact, entire village is seeming very abandoned! Is hard to tell difference between lived shack and abandoned shack! Maybe can be finding cart, though! Where should I be looking?

Is also almost nighttime! Will be dark in half of hour! I am not needing sleep, though! I often had to stay awake for days to keep dirty thieves away from farm!

Investigate houses for the components to a molotov-throwing machine.

>>377628
Search the houses for stuff you can use, starting with a large barn or something. Farmers usually have some sort of explosives around to deal with stubborn trees in their fields and stuff like that.

Loot the bunkhouse. If all else fails, use English and American as mounts.

Commandeer everything left behind.

if the village doesn't belong to anyone else, it might as well belong to you.

Trout 2012/01/05(Thu)21:37 No. 377820 ID: 9c7c3b
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>Loot the bunkhouse.

Bunkhouse is being ash and dead Germans! I am not thinking there is anything left!

>Commandeer everything left behind.
>Search the houses for stuff you can use
все в порядке, I will be doing that! Am going to search shacks now!

>if the village doesn't belong to anyone else, it might as well belong to you.
Нет! Village is belong to all people of Motherland! To take village is to be imperialist fascist pig!

Trout 2012/01/05(Thu)21:41 No. 377822 ID: 9c7c3b
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>MEANWHILE IN THE SAHARA DESERT
So, um, I made a thing. Accidentally.

>>377822
Wait, is that a helicopter? You accidentaly built a helicopter out in the desert? That's freaking awesome, let's start it up and see if it works.

>>377822
>Make a helicopter out of nothing.

Holy shit Wilson, you're a super soldier

>>377822
Mother of Motherland...

>>377820
Make a vodka-powered rocket/car/sled. Or wait for Canada to save your asses.

Start that shit up.

Hop in it and try to switch it on. Yes, I know, you've invented it years early and have no idea what it does or how it works.

Just give it a try.


And try and figure out how to distill fuel from your own urine.

>>377822
>Wilson: Ascend

Trout 2012/01/07(Sat)23:46 No. 378433 ID: 9c7c3b
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>let's start it up and see if it works.
>Start that shit up.
>Hop in it and try to switch it on.
I have no idea how this thing works. What's it do, anyway?

>Holy shit Wilson, you're a super soldier
Thank you, eh? I don't get the significance of this, but...

Trout 2012/01/07(Sat)23:47 No. 378434 ID: 9c7c3b
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...but really, I have no clue what I've created here or how I use it.

man, just press on some random buttons and shit.

alternatively, just create an instruction manual.

Activate thing with screen. Onboard AI is go.

>>378434
Try pressing the two red things. If that doesn't work then just press a few random buttons.

Flip switches. Switches are usually a good bet for making things go.

>>378438
>Instruction Manual
Wait is Wilson a Newtype? this could work.

>>378463

except if it's the lever for retracting landing gears.

>>378515
Good thing it's a helicopter then, no need to worry about such things.

>>378517

or is it?

when it comes to aircraft, there are usually switches involved.

Look for anything labeled throttle. Once you got that, flip the switches and push a bit on the throttle to get'r warmed up. Once the blades are spinning nice and fast you can get goin' by pulling on the joystick provided probably to your right

>>378599
Man, that's not how helicopters work at all. You've got a lever on the left which controls how much up/down you go, and a stick in front which controls which way you tilt. Neither of these are the throttle; engine throttle is automatically adjusted to keep the rotor RPM constant when changes in the controls place or remove load on it.

Get the blades spinning, wait till they've gotten going as fast as they seem inclined to, then lift the lever on the left. Probably best to do give it a solid (but steady) pull; it'll be rough, but you really don't want to learn how to hold a helicopter steady without getting some safety margin altitude ASAP.

Trout 2012/01/09(Mon)20:24 No. 378837 ID: 9c7c3b
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>man, just press on some random buttons and shit.
>Flip switches.
whirrrr

Trout 2012/01/09(Mon)20:25 No. 378838 ID: 9c7c3b
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clickclick

Trout 2012/01/09(Mon)20:25 No. 378839 ID: 9c7c3b
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click

Trout 2012/01/09(Mon)20:25 No. 378840 ID: 9c7c3b
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>WILSONAI 1.0 ENABLED

Trout 2012/01/09(Mon)20:26 No. 378842 ID: 9c7c3b
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W-what?

ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

TIME FOR... LIFDOOF

SET ROTOR BLADES TO OVERCLOCK

This can only end awesomely.

TO GERMANY!

>>378842
Just take it chill, let the AI handle it. Anyway, off to a remote village somewhere in the probably Polish countryside!

Kill all humans.
I mean prepare for takeoff.

My God, Wilson truly is everything the legends foretold.
Secrets he knows are so secret that he's even made himself forget them.

>>378950
Holy SHIT. Die Glocke is FUCKED.

Trout 2012/01/10(Tue)21:49 No. 379104 ID: 9c7c3b
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>WE HAVE. LIFDOFF
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Trout 2012/01/10(Tue)21:49 No. 379105 ID: 9c7c3b
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Здравствуйте еще раз, товарищи! I have found few useful things through village!

-Strong, sturdy cart with no horse!
-Oil lantern!
-Oil for oil lantern!
-Obrez! Is Mosin-Nagant cut down to size of pistol!
-Food and vodka!
-Large supply of empty bottle!

>"ЭЙ!"

Trout 2012/01/10(Tue)21:49 No. 379106 ID: 9c7c3b
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>"TO BE GIVING BACK GUN AND FOOD NOW! IS MINE!

Is that a villager? We'll be friendly and try to recruit him. Tell him you where gonna use the stuff to fight Nazis. He's probably resistance or something. You also got tons of Vodka so be generous with that too.

the People's Glorious Socialist Motherland Union of Russian Soviet Republics needs that.

it also needs you to come help kill Evil Fascist Pigs.

>>379106
WHoever that is should be aiding you in the fight for Glorious Mother Russia!

Trout 2012/01/11(Wed)21:31 No. 379356 ID: 9c7c3b
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>We'll be friendly and try to recruit him. Tell him you where gonna use the stuff to fight Nazis.
I am soldier from glorious Red Army and I am needing things to be fighting Nazi fascist dogs! I am also needing YOU to join me in freeing Mother Russia from grip of Na--

Trout 2012/01/11(Wed)21:31 No. 379357 ID: 9c7c3b
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>"Нет! Заткнись! GIVING BACK THINGS NOW!"

>>379357
don't you see? he is also russian, you must convince him that this is the right way. use force.

Pout and give him his stuff back.

>>379364
I second this notion except replace the words "convince him that this is the right way" with "use him as bait for the next Nazi Patrol". Don't forget to put your hat on him so that they think hes you.

Ask him why he's got an Obrez. Suspect that it he doesnt have the proper german license for such a weapon.

TRAITOR

YOU MUST PUNISH HIM

Offer some of your Vodka stores as trade.
If that doesn't work, tell him his shoelaces are untied and punch him out.

Time for shaky-cam with some loud-ass trumpets, and a possible violent cut to black!
That degree in necromancy really paid off, let me tell you.

>>379357
Oh it's on! Drink vodka until you both think you're bears and then it's a bear fight for the ages!

Hey, Wilson. Get your ass over to Bloodquest, pronto!

Things are not yours are belong to greater Soviet Collective.

Trout 2012/01/14(Sat)23:14 No. 379851 ID: 9c7c3b
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>you must convince him that this is the right way. use force.
>YOU MUST PUNISH HIM

show him the victory dance of the People.

Trout 2012/01/17(Tue)21:38 No. 380515 ID: 9c7c3b
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>show him the victory dance of the People.
Конечно! But I am not being very good at dancing at all!

Youth is out cold! Should I be leaving here or using as bait?

>>380515
Hey, there's a means of transportation behind you! But you'll need propulsion for it to become useful. Who do you think is the most ass-like in your team?

>>380515
Strap youth in front of the wagon and make him pull it. Then load it with the important stuff and start moving out, you can probably find some nazi scum out on patrol that you can ambush on the way there.

>>380638

in fact, find another youth who is too rebellious for his own good and beat him into submission so he can pull the cart together with this guy.

Trout 2012/01/20(Fri)18:49 No. 381272 ID: 9c7c3b
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>Who do you think is the most ass-like in your team?

Trout 2012/01/20(Fri)18:50 No. 381273 ID: 9c7c3b
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>Strap youth in front of the wagon and make him pull it.
Is seeming very cruel, but okay.

>in fact, find another youth who is too rebellious for his own good and beat him into submission so he can pull the cart together with this guy.
I am attracted small crowd, but is not looking like are any youths!

Don't be cruel. Hand the guy over to them.

Pull the cart over and stand on it like a podium, and give an inspiring speech to rally them to your aid.
"Being attention! I am Hoviet Sero! I am meaning Soviet Hero. No, am in fact meaning Hoviet Sero. Is confusing. What was being said? Oh! Free vodka for all who are helping find automobile!"

Not sure what OP is looking for, but...
You should apologize. Or at least steal their shit then turn tail and run.
Make sure to start the next update with the protagonists on the run through a tropical forest from an unknown enemy. You can loan my undead Michael Giacchino. You see, I don't need him anymore... with this power, no one can stop me. I have control over death itself! KNEEL BEFORE ME, WITLESS PEASANTS! KNEE-
*slap*
Ok, guess I got carried away there.

hey, ask if any of them want to be helping Glorious Motherland!

Ask the village people where the home of youth resides to return him home.

Action is least likely to result in angry mob

Trout 2012/01/21(Sat)21:44 No. 381521 ID: 9c7c3b
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>Don't be cruel. Hand the guy over to them.
>Ask the village people where the home of youth resides to return him home.
Ah... Здравствуйте! I am Hoviet Soviet Hero Sero! Is anyone knowing where home of youth is being?

>"да, is son. Take him. Is not help on farm, is just being sitting and not doing anything. Am sick of it."

Um...

>>381521
tell him that if you have his blessing you will take his son up as an apprentice hero, and show him the ropes of hero doing for a few months or years.

>>381522
Yes. What is being name of rebellious youth?

>>381521
Thank him for son's contribution to glorious Soviet Union.

>>381521
Sounds like the boy should join up with the glorious peoples army and fight in the great patriotic war. Lets get him working!