[Burichan] [Futaba] [Nice] [Pony]  -  [WT]  [Home] [Manage]
[Catalog View] :: [Graveyard] :: [Rules] :: [Quests] :: [Discussions] :: [Wiki]

[Return] [Entire Thread] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]
Posting mode: Reply
Name (optional)
Email (optional, will be displayed)
Subject    (optional, usually best left blank)
Message
File []
Password  (for deleting posts, automatically generated)
  • How to format text
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG, SWF
  • Maximum file size allowed is 10000 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.

File 128693367260.jpg - (81.00KB , 706x540 , Central_Bureaucracy.jpg )
242657 No. 242657 ID: e4cdbb

I stand in a grand hallway extending to the north. Before me, there is a massive corridor, many hundreds of cubit's length and many dozens in height and width. Across this great hallway, there are dozens of rope-and-board bridges stretching across the width, connecting the many doorways carved into the sides at many heights. I can't see far enough to tell what's on the other end of the hallway, as the entire area is covered in a dense fog. I can see many distant multicolored lights dancing through the fog, and several vaguely humanoid shadows cast by the lights are busily going across the stairways as well. There's nobody on the ground floor, it seems. Strange.

I notice that I can't seem to find my legs, arms, or torso, either, and that I seem to be emitting a faint yellow glow. I don't appear to be wearing anything, either. Hmm. Going to have to fix that soon, I think. I can't really remember what it is I was going to do.

What should I do?
Expand all images
>>
No. 242661 ID: c37cd8

Try calling out and asking if anyone can give you explinations.
>>
No. 242662 ID: d3dfb8

Get bogged down in bureaucratic paperwork.
>>
No. 242663 ID: f4963f

Glow brighter. GLOW THE BRIGHTEST.

This is your new goal in life.
>>
No. 242670 ID: d93696

Fill out the necessary forms to request a neatly tailored suit. If the suit is not neatly tailored enough, be sure to file complaints against the employee or employees responsible for tailoring and pressing the suit. If you are unable to write a form, send a verbal request to your supervisor, and he or she will record the date and time of the request, and prioritize it accordingly.

Once your supervisor is able to requisition clothing and body parts that will deem you capable of performing your duty in the Bureaucracy, fuck all the bitches.
>>
No. 242674 ID: e4cdbb

>>242661
I tried this. Didn't work well. Apparently, I can't really talk. It's kind of hard to get used to this "Incorporeal" thing. I wouldn't recommend trying it.

>>242663
I tried focusing really hard on "Glowing brighter". I heard a high pitched, grating voice in my head to scream at me to "Keep it down, down there. And stop talking to yourself like a madman." The voice sounded a bit like the deafening chorus of flies present at any cesspool, so I'd rather not rouse its anger again.

>>242670
This seemed reasonable. I wandered up and down the huge corridor for a while. I came upon a booth protruding from the eastern wall. The booth had its glass windows replaced by opaque black panels. Awfully intimidating. I "Stood" there, gazing out at the dancing lights and shadows for a while, when a voice not unlike but not the same as the one I heard earlier burst out with "Well? Are you going to fill out your form?" in an overtly annoyed tone. I was almost ready to ask him what in the name of all that is right and sacred in this world he was talking about, when I figured I might as well try looking for it. I tried to pad around where pockets would be, only to remember that I had no clothing or body for that matter, when a strange occurrence fell upon me- I reached into a pocket that wasn't there and withdrew a small form, roughly one-third-cubit wide and two-thirds-cubit long sheet of very fine paper. It reads as follows:

NAME:

SEX:

SPECIES:

SKILLSET:

SIGNATURE


________________________


I think I can just sneak by this with a few little lies. Suggestions?
>>
No. 242678 ID: 24d39f

>>242677

So you're saying because some people cannot make art, they should just not be allowed to do this awesome thing? Classy.
>>
No. 242680 ID: d93696
File 128693789778.jpg - (82.27KB , 457x268 , bureau.jpg )
242680

Your form.
>>
No. 242681 ID: a09a03

Get species claim form 1-127?
>>
No. 242691 ID: e4cdbb

>>242680
I filled in the suggested information and handed the paper through the small slit in the booth.

The voice gave me a harsh laugh, followed by "We're a bureaucracy, yes, but we're not that kind of bureaucracy. Try again."

The paper was thrust through again, but this time only a small slip reading "SPECIES: " remained.

By god my dialogue is terrible. Also, I only used "Bureaucracy Quest" as the title because the Bureaucracy is my own unimaginative form of character creation. This is mostly experimental and I have precisely no fucking clue what I'm doing. I might have to rename it "Subversion Quest" if I end up following through with what's in my head at the moment. Can't say it'd be any good though.
>>
No. 242698 ID: 701a19

>>242691
NORTHERN SERGAL!
>>
No. 242701 ID: f38fc7

i vote for humanoid slime.
>>
No. 242710 ID: e5665b

>>242691
I too vote for a slime
>>
No. 242713 ID: a09a03

>I seem to be emitting a faint yellow glow
Lohrke, duh.
>>
No. 242714 ID: a17cca

rolled 2 = 2

Can't decide between NORTHERN SERGAL or another slimes quests.

1 = Slime
2 = NORTHERN SERGAAAAAAALLLL
>>
No. 242715 ID: cf68aa

Slime
>>
No. 242721 ID: a17cca

>>242691
[23:50]<Brom>Slime Northern Sergal?
>>
No. 242727 ID: d677cc

>>242721
Slime Northern Sergal, as long as we're being silly.
>>
No. 242730 ID: 1854db

Lohrke!
>>
No. 242733 ID: 0d5620

So we can be any species?

Tozol.
>>
No. 242735 ID: a1591c

NORTHERN SLIMEGAL
>>
No. 242748 ID: a7a85a

Can we ever have too many slime girls. Wait, do we even have more than two?

Anyway, slime girl.
>>
No. 242766 ID: a7a85a
File 128694912178.png - (310.18KB , 491x749 , businessslimegirl.png )
242766

Business slime girl! Okay, I can't vote twice, but, eh? Eeehh?
>>
No. 242768 ID: 644ca1

Slime
>>
No. 242870 ID: 0b7894

>>242698

I second the NORTHERN SERGAL suggestion.
>>
No. 242873 ID: c37cd8

NORTHERN SLIMEGAL sounds good.
>>
No. 242888 ID: e3ec71

>>242766
I heartily endorse this event and/or product.

Seriously though, this is awesome. Make it so. =3
>>
No. 242889 ID: 80bb9a

Slime Lohrke?
>>
No. 242890 ID: 6834bc

>>242766
I throw my weight behind single female businesslime.
>>
No. 242892 ID: f1df52

Large male dragon.
>>
No. 242910 ID: 8e18cd

NORTHERN SERGAL

Or Lohrke
>>
No. 242913 ID: 5a2e05

>>242766
The pretty picture gets my vote
>>
No. 242925 ID: d3dfb8

>>242766
This, for >>242913 this reason.
>>
No. 242928 ID: 5f0943

NORTHERN SERGAL! Because slimegirls have always been 'meh' in my eyes.
>>
No. 242930 ID: 4531bc

northern slime sergal.
>>
No. 242933 ID: f52552

Northern Sergal with a venom-style slime symbiote.
>>
No. 242937 ID: e40e60

Strange slime/sergal hybrid.
>>
No. 243004 ID: e4cdbb

And then Disst learned his lesson about letting the audience create the character.

Quest closed because it was ill in concept and thus kind of fell apart.
>>
No. 243026 ID: e5665b

What?
WHY?
>>
No. 243028 ID: e40e60

>>243004
Did you really expect anything different?
>>
No. 243031 ID: e4cdbb

>>243028
To be honest? No. A man can dream, though.
>>
No. 243084 ID: 2563d4
File 128701961954.gif - (20.34KB , 640x480 , bs000.gif )
243084

>>243004
Don't worry mate! I got your back!

>>242721
>>242727
>>242735
>>242873
>>242930
>>242933
>>242937
SLIME-COVERED NORTHERN FUCKING SERG---
>>
No. 243086 ID: 2563d4
File 128701963866.gif - (13.50KB , 640x480 , bs001.gif )
243086

>>243084
oh god i don't feel good
>>
No. 243087 ID: 2563d4
File 128701966583.gif - (3.25KB , 640x480 , bs002.gif )
243087

>>243086
*whimper*
>>
No. 243089 ID: 2563d4
File 128701971767.gif - (13.21KB , 640x480 , bs003.gif )
243089

>>243087
I stagger to my feet and lean on a wall conveniently out of shot. Oh god. That slime...did something.

What...what am I?
>>
No. 243090 ID: 2563d4
File 128701976077.gif - (12.17KB , 640x480 , bs004.gif )
243090

>>243089
There is a female gnoll in a business suit here.

She appears to be tightly clutching a stack of forms B-869.
>>
No. 243091 ID: 4643fd

say hi.
>>
No. 243096 ID: dad664

>>243090
"...yo wassup?"
>>
No. 243099 ID: 80bb9a

Slimehug her.
>>
No. 243103 ID: e4cdbb

AH HA HA HA.

I approve.
>>
No. 243107 ID: 2563d4
File 128702031335.gif - (13.59KB , 640x480 , bs005.gif )
243107

I attempt to offer pleasantries.

There is no longer a female gnoll in a business suit here.
>>
No. 243108 ID: 4643fd

well dang. pick up all her B-869 forms and chase after her, to a benny hill theme.
>>
No. 243109 ID: 80bb9a

Chase her down and lecture her for not filling out forms 17C-20C for permission to flee an area.
>>
No. 243111 ID: d677cc

>>243109
Yes, this.
>>
No. 243112 ID: a09a03

As a synx, you are contractually obligated to smile creepily all the time at everyone you meet.
>>
No. 243113 ID: 2563d4
File 12870209457.gif - (18.17KB , 640x480 , bs006.gif )
243113

YOU GOT
FORM B-869

+10 Bureaucracy Points
>>
No. 243115 ID: 2563d4
File 128702099455.gif - (8.68KB , 640x480 , bs007.gif )
243115

I chase off in her direction. Hmm. Where did she go?
>>
No. 243118 ID: 4643fd

try the break room. if nothing else you can get a coffee to fuel you.
>>
No. 243119 ID: 5a2e05

Unimportant. Now, if one form B-869 is worth 10 Bureaucracy Points then a hundred of them will be worth 1000! Go to copy room, achieve greater Bureaucracy!
>>
No. 243127 ID: 2563d4
File 128702222956.gif - (14.44KB , 640x480 , bs008.gif )
243127

I open the break room door and smile sweetly.

The gnoll businesswoman appears to be huddled in the corner by the fancy coffee machine. Maybe she dropped her expresso capsule?
>>
No. 243132 ID: 4c7b39

Well, then you should get her a new one. After all, workplace synergy and all that.
>>
No. 243133 ID: f123de

Tell her we had some problems filling out FORM B-869 and need WORKSHEET 869-A in order to finish filling it out.

Also, get some coffee. It will make you feel better.
>>
No. 243134 ID: e40e60

This has been a glorious hijack

It's rape time.
>>
No. 243136 ID: a09a03

She clearly requires more smiling to be assuaged. You should also present her with the forms you have completed.
>>
No. 243137 ID: d677cc

>>243127
Try saying hi again.
>>
No. 243140 ID: 2563d4
File 128702382978.gif - (16.08KB , 640x480 , bs009.gif )
243140

I can't get a capsule! I don't have any capsule requisition forms!

I kneel down but can't see hers, so I reach for the pot and a mug, while explaining my need for WORKSHEET 869-A.

She listens courteously without interrupting. What a nice lady. Hasn't answered if she'd like a mug of the filter coffee, though. Maybe she's too polite to mention that it tastes like burnt Nedyvor droppings?
>>
No. 243142 ID: d677cc

>>243140
Yyyyyeah she still seems terrified of you.
>>
No. 243153 ID: 4643fd

oh well leave the pot there and thank her for her time
>>
No. 243154 ID: f52552

>>243140
Develop nervous tic of licking own eye.
Also back off a bit.
>>
No. 243157 ID: f123de

OHSHI-

Your recent slime-related incident probably counted as a workplace injury, didn't it?

Good lord, man, what are you doing there? You need to fill out OSHA FORM 29-872-2007 immediately! Your potential compensation is at stake, not to mention various serious compliance issues of the company! Find your manager!
>>
No. 243159 ID: 1854db

Accidentally spill the coffee. Then lick it off her.
>>
No. 243163 ID: 2563d4
File 128702450090.gif - (12.77KB , 640x480 , bs010.gif )
243163

Euch...why did I think this was a good idea?
>>
No. 243166 ID: 80bb9a

Now rape her.
>>
No. 243167 ID: 4643fd

well since nothing else seems to be in here let's check the copy room. fill out that form and then copy it into triplicate.
>>
No. 243168 ID: d677cc

>>243163
You've got me.

Ask her where the form to report whatever the heck just happened to you is.
>>
No. 243169 ID: a09a03

Say "JESUS SHIT FUCK MY EYE" since there's probably some kind of bullshit Synx magic that makes your tongue hurt things.

Next, ask for a form to change your species.
>>
No. 243171 ID: 67c611

She looks so scared and vulnerable. Just waiting for someone to force themself on her. Go ahead.
>>
No. 243173 ID: 2563d4
File 128702513712.gif - (13.76KB , 640x480 , bs011.gif )
243173

Workplace injury forms! I start freaking out at the magnitude of the situation.

The gnoll businesswoman sheepishly peeps up that the secretarial office should have OSHA form 29-872-2007.
>>
No. 243174 ID: 6834bc

>>243163
Offer to take the nice businessgnoll out to dinner at her favorite restaurant as soon as you get these forms filled out.

You're obviously new in town and don't have many friends yet and she's been so polite what with the whole not interrupting you thing.
>>
No. 243177 ID: f57857

>>243163
Ramble about how ocular devices never taste the way they're supposed to. Then ask her what she thinks should taste like. Introduce yourself and ask her if she knows how what do like.
>>
No. 243183 ID: 2563d4
File 128702560954.gif - (16.31KB , 640x480 , bs012.gif )
243183

>rape
>rape
>rape
>>
No. 243187 ID: 4c7b39

Damn it. You can't rape the willing.

Oh well, pick her up and ask if she would care to join you. Perhaps find a form to bypass the species stipulation so you can get that suit!

After dealing with the OSHA form, that is.
>>
No. 243188 ID: f57857

>>243183
Just turn the filthy radio in your room off! It's that part of the day where they play rap about raping and bein gangsta and crap. I don't even know why someone tuned into to that.
>>
No. 243189 ID: d677cc

>>243187
Sure, why not. If she's actually familiar with this place, it'd be a lot better for her to lead the way, rather than for you to stumble onto floor C which requires form X-32-B to enter and rapidly find yourself trapped in a maze of forms and inaccessible areas.
>>
No. 243190 ID: f123de

Right, better ask after that change-of-species form too. New chair, new keyboard, possibly new cubicle, and you know if you touch any of that stuff yourself the unions will be all over your ass.
>>
No. 243191 ID: f4963f

>>243183
Okay, so ask her why we're here. That doesn't really seem clear yet. We just sorta started existing.

IT'S A BIT DISCONCERTING.
>>
No. 243192 ID: 67c611

rape :D
>>
No. 243193 ID: fd6d7e

Consume her whole and slowly digest her in your tough abdomen stomach sack, so you don't have to snack later.
>>
No. 243194 ID: 2563d4
File 128702623734.gif - (13.85KB , 640x480 , bs013.gif )
243194

"You know, eyes never quite taste how you think they might. Sayyy, how about dinner at your favorite restaurant as soon as I get these forms filled out?"
"Sure! Fine! Whatever you want!"

What a friendly soul.
>>
No. 243198 ID: 2563d4
File 128702658785.gif - (12.80KB , 640x480 , bs014.gif )
243198

I help her up, and she leads me to the nearest secretarial office.

Well, rats. There's OSHA form 29-872-2007, but I can't just take it without approval, and I can't disturb the floor manager without going via the secretary, who isn't here!
>>
No. 243201 ID: d677cc

>>243198
Oh darn it, it happened anyway.

Hm.

Ask her what forms qualify as your recourse here, and where they're at. Or if she happens to be a secretary who's not currently at your desk.
>>
No. 243202 ID: 80bb9a

Oh, I'm sorry. Fill out forms 623C and 996B, in triplicate.

Then rape her.
>>
No. 243203 ID: 4643fd

hmmm... fill out the form while you wait. as long as it isn't moved off the desk it's fine.
>>
No. 243204 ID: d677cc

>>243201
Er, her desk, not yours.
>>
No. 243211 ID: 2563d4
File 128702753119.gif - (17.90KB , 640x480 , bs015.gif )
243211

Perfect! I feel so wicked, yet it's technically correct, the best kind of correct!

+5 Bureaucracy Points
+10 Renegade Points
>>
No. 243213 ID: 2563d4
File 128702764539.gif - (9.14KB , 640x480 , bs016.gif )
243213

...unfortunately it looks like I'm still going to need to find the secretary.
>>
No. 243216 ID: 4643fd

dang. well since it is filled out you can leave it there, hopefully they will see it and think they somehow forgot one and send it in for processing.
>>
No. 243217 ID: d677cc

>>243213
Again, ask gnoll chick if she happens to be a secretary.

Otherwise, time to go hunt down somebody. Joy.
>>
No. 243221 ID: 2563d4
File 128702819026.gif - (12.31KB , 640x480 , bs017.gif )
243221

I express my exasperation at the secretary's absence.

"Joy? I saw her when I was, er, heading for the break room."

That sure seems to have perked her up. Canids love to play fetch quests, I guess.
>>
No. 243226 ID: 4c7b39

It occurs to me that you don't know this nice lady's name. Maybe you need to rectify this situation.
>>
No. 243229 ID: d677cc

>>243221
Ask what the gnoll chick's name is, then have both of you head over in the direction she pointed.
>>
No. 243230 ID: 4643fd

cool, we have out heading.
>>
No. 243244 ID: 2563d4
File 128702947216.gif - (9.62KB , 640x480 , bs018.gif )
243244

Damn, she's---I mean Sherla is fast.
>>
No. 243245 ID: d677cc

>>243244
Copy room?
>>
No. 243246 ID: f57857

>>243221
Ask if Joy's eyes are tasty, then twist your head 360 degrees in place and thank the gnollgirl, then crawl backwards up the walls up onto the ceiling and make your way out to look for Joy.
>>
No. 243247 ID: 4643fd

congratulate her on her speed. then check the copy room.
>>
No. 243248 ID: 701a19

>>243244
Check the copy room!
Also, ask Sherla what her name is.
>>
No. 243259 ID: 2563d4
File 128703042047.gif - (22.68KB , 640x480 , bs019.gif )
243259

The door seems stuck, but forcing it is no problem for someone as stro---

Oh honestly.

I bet she hasn't filed the requisition forms for the paper she's using.
>>
No. 243263 ID: 24a9bd

Reset the "__ days since last butt photocopy" sign and leave.
>>
No. 243265 ID: d677cc

>>243259
Ask her if she wouldn't happen to be Joy, and explain blah blah blah etcetera.
>>
No. 243267 ID: a09a03

Say "Oh, like they won't know who it was."
>>
No. 243269 ID: a17cca

>>243263
Also remember to get the signature.
>>
No. 243278 ID: 2563d4
File 128703136911.gif - (11.05KB , 640x480 , bs020.gif )
243278

I update the office record-keeping signage.

+1 Bureaucracy Point

A rather flustered Joy says that she realised that she'd be pretty identifiable, but she signed-off a TV-1970 stereotypical office hijinks form without really paying attention, and she couldn't just shred it or anything.

The boss' schedule should be clear, though. Since a workplace accident is a priority, she'll book a meeting as soon as she's done here.
>>
No. 243283 ID: 4643fd

ah, well since she signed off on it before hand then it's all good.
>>
No. 243284 ID: a09a03

Smile like a huge creep and say you'll wait.
>>
No. 243287 ID: f123de

Ahh, but as she already knows the TV-1970 does not specify the personnel requirements for generic hijinx.

Sherla can sub in while you get your meeting scheduled. Tell me you didn't want to see that anyway.
>>
No. 243295 ID: 2563d4
File 128703197682.gif - (12.29KB , 640x480 , bs021.gif )
243295

Sherla agrees unexpectedly eagerly. While Joy is dressing she takes the toner cartridge out of the copier and replaces it with a nearly-dead one from the recycling pile. I can't help but feel that I'm being an influence.

+10 Renegade Points

I return to Joy's desk with her, and she waves me on to the boss' office.
>>
No. 243296 ID: d677cc

>>243287
Yes indeedy.
>>
No. 243300 ID: 2563d4
File 128703255527.gif - (11.78KB , 640x480 , bs022.gif )
243300

Joy hands me the mostly-completed form and I step into the Boss' office. He's reading THE FIGURES and hasn't yet noticed me.
>>
No. 243302 ID: 4643fd

polity cough to get his attention.
>>
No. 243303 ID: 1854db

>>243300
Put your face unnervingly close to his and grin. Then hand him the form.
>>
No. 243306 ID: 2563d4
File 128703295223.gif - (13.74KB , 640x480 , bs023.gif )
243306

I lean in and cough.

Once he's run out of air to scream with, I hold up the form.
>>
No. 243308 ID: 4643fd

tell him it only needs him to sign it left.
>>
No. 243312 ID: 1854db

Get him to sign it.
>>
No. 243313 ID: d677cc

>>243306
"Could you sign this?"
>>
No. 243315 ID: 2563d4
File 128703379283.gif - (21.63KB , 640x480 , bs024.gif )
243315

YOU GOT
COMPLETED OSHA FORM 29-872-2007

+10 Bureaucracy Points

Congratulations! You have correctly reported this workplace incident through outstanding teamwork!

FINAL SCORE:
26 Bureaucracy Points
15 Renegade Points
0 Horse Points
∞ Sweet Gnoll Lovin' Points

Thanks for playing guys. I think a high-speed unplanned quest did me the world of good, even if daybreak is imminent. :)
>>
No. 243319 ID: f123de

Best quest on /quest/. Nice save, LP.
>>
No. 243326 ID: a09a03

A+ rating, would sign in triplicate again.
>>
No. 243333 ID: 24a9bd

Five stars, good show.
>>
No. 243370 ID: 701a19

>>243315
Make a sequel some time!
>>
No. 243474 ID: e0c719

I filled out the necessary forms to enjoy this quest.
[Return] [Entire Thread] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]

Delete post []
Password