Oh god--

What now?

Mark 2011/06/23(Thu)10:38 No. 316751 ID: a9ba96
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>"Mark, come on. You're falling behind."
"Sorry. I'm uh, I'm starting to get a bit hungry."
>"Don't worry, my good friend. A great feast awaits you in Egias. All the more reason to get through this Kobold mess as fast as we can."

...Are uh, are you guys there? I keep losing your voices on this trail for some reason. I think something in the woods might be interfering with your magic or something.

you were reminiscing. we saw it. wanna talk about it?

if we accessed your subconscious somehow then it was when you were with the cyclops and orc or ogre dude and you were covered in blood.

>>316751
uhhhhh

WHAT DID YOU DO?
Okay that was probably a long time ago... but still......
You know what? NEVER TAKE US OFF. Because it seems if left to your own devices you accidentally kill people. And we can at least TRY to prevent that.

>>316751
We had a vision of you. You were covered in blood and standing next to a cyclops and some burly guy who wasn't wearing a shirt.
You were babbling about not having a choice, and the others mentioned never letting Lin and Faer find out.

So, how about you give us some context on what we saw? I mean, unless you would rather we get our answers from Lin.

Mark 2011/06/24(Fri)13:36 No. 317157 ID: a9ba96
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Oh... I was just thinking about... you guys actually saw... but how did you... uh, never mind.

Well uh, listen. The cyclops was Neena, the big guy was Ramal, and Faer was a Paladin like Lin. They were all part of the adventuring group I used to be in about two years back.

We split up over a year ago, though. Hadn't heard from any of them since, until you guys started telling me about Lin. I uh, I wouldn't expect to run into any of them out here, though. Neena swore off adventuring and went back to Egias, Ramal joined up with some bandits, and Faer was an even bigger screw up than you guys insist I am, so he probably got eaten by a bear or something.

As for the blood, that was uh, well, it was something that happened almost two year ago. I don't mind telling you guys about it when we uh, when we have more time, but please keep Lin out of it, okay? I'd rather keep this thing a thing that Lin never found out about.

>"Hold on Mark. I think these elves are up to something. Hopefully they're about to throw your old friends here off our trail."

Mark 2011/06/24(Fri)13:57 No. 317161 ID: a9ba96
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>"Vinbal."
>"Yes, Nessya?"
>"The path divides here. Which path would you suggest we take?"
>"Hmmm... the positioning of the trees on the left path seem to hold more potential for setting up traps than the ones on the right."

Mary sighs.
>"Can we hurry this up?"

Mark 2011/06/24(Fri)14:02 No. 317166 ID: a9ba96
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Nessya nods to Mary, then turns to Vinbal.
>"Take the lead, Vinbal. I need to check on something."
As we continue down the path to the right, Nessya approaches the Prince and I at the back of the group.
>”Alright, we’re heading down a pathway that’s probably as booby-trapped as an Ogre’s treasure room. I can have Vinbal lead these guys into one of them, but we need to figure out what to do after that. I’m not sure if we can get all four of these guys at once, so we have a few options after the first trap springs and we get our hands on that bag. We can take our chances and try overpowering the ones who aren’t left stuck in a trap, but even If we outnumber them I’m still worried about those mages. If we make a break down this path, I can try luring the guys chasing us into other traps, but we’re going to have to be careful not to hit any of them ourselves. Or we could try heading off the path, losing them through the woods, and then switching over to the left path, which I think has less traps. The issue there is that there’s no way for me to tell how safe the forests off the path will be.
>Either way, you need to make up your mind quick. I need to get Vinbal in on our plan before the first trap springs.”

>>317157
Some of us are kinda totally loose lipped, but we'll try to keep them in hand.

>>317166
"Mary is the core of the group, so if something happens to her the rest will be confused and easy to handle. She's also impatient, rash, and stubborn, so the best bet is being overly cautious, covertly disarming subtle traps, and announcing the discovery of the blatantly obvious ones. She'll get overconfident and impatient and take the lead.
At that point we can 'rush to her aid' and keep her alive. Her party will think it's her own fault, spend their time tending to her, and respect us for helping treat her. No fighting required."

>>317172
hmm i suppose that works.

>>317172
Damn it Seven, now I'm forced to agree with you.

>>317172
Thas good, and if she dies... No tears shed here.

Mark 2011/06/24(Fri)18:55 No. 317286 ID: a9ba96
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"Mary's the head of the group, so all you really need is for her to run into a trap to throw the others off. She's also impatient, rash, and stubborn, so I think the best bet here is actually to be overly cautious. You know, covertly disarming subtle traps, and announcing the discovery of the blatantly obvious ones. Knowing Mary, eventually she'll get overconfident and impatient and take the lead. After she runs into a trap, we can rush over to help her. If the party thinks running into a trap was her fault instead of ours, they'll respect us for trying to help we'll have a better shot at getting the bag with no conflict at all."

Nessya pauses for a second.

>"Oh. Well, I'll go tell Vinbal, then. I'm sure he'll be happy to know there's no fight."
"Alright, let's-"
>"By the way, when you hit me with your sword's handle back there? You fucking cut my face open. Thanks, I really needed a huge scar on the side of my face."

And with that, she walks off to talk to Vinbal.

I'm not really sure what that was about, but uh, okay.

>>317286
....I think she lost the right to bitch about minor, nonlethal injuries when she tried to GUT you with a KNIFE. What is this, some kind of weird... elf.... attraction thing?

Mark 2011/06/24(Fri)19:00 No. 317288 ID: a9ba96
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As we continue down the path, Eline slowly drifts towards the back of the group.

>"Hey... Mister Mark?"
"Huh? Oh, uh, what is it Eline?"
>"You know, Mary says that back when she was on a team with you, you were always the bravest one."
"She does?"
>"She also says you were the dumbest."
"Oh. That kinda figures."
>"I just wanted to ask you... how do you stay brave when you're scared?"
"Huh? Why are... uh..."

Well, that came out of nowhere. Honestly, I'm uh, I'm not really sure how to answer this one.

just good ol "bravery is not the absence of fear. it is doing something in spite of the fear. a warrior may fear death when he fights, but he fights anyway."

Aha, the poor nervous girl wants to know how to be brave like you. How cute~

We've got this. "Bravery doesn't mean you aren't scared, it means you don't let it stop you." You might also say something about a little fear being healthy but too much is also dangerous, you make poor decisions. For a little self depreciating humor you could also tell her being dumb like you helps you not think too much.

>>317286
I'm not sure what it's about either, but I think she likes fighting.

When the Paladins get here we can make them heal her face. Keeping her around to meet them is as easy as telling her that helping with your mission would get her a cut of the loot and amnesty for anything she might have done before. Also, excellent health care.

>>317288
"Have something you believe in. Something worth fighting for. I'm not afraid for myself because I have things that matter more to me than me. Back then it was my team.
Also, it helps to be dumb. I kinda have trouble telling how much danger I'm in."

>>317288
Just ask her if she really wants to do this.
>>317286
Um. Tell her that if she wants it fixed you know a friendlyish paladin? Not sure if sarcastic.

Mark 2011/06/25(Sat)18:25 No. 317679 ID: a9ba96
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>>317287
Though I'm no expert, I'm pretty sure Elves are pretty good at healing magic innately. If Nessya really wanted to, she probably could have fixed her face with a couple of flowers and a quick chant an hour ago. Not really sure why she's making such a big deal over it myself, either.

"Being brave doesn't mean you aren't scared. It means you don't let those fears hold you back."
>"That makes sense."
"Hah, I guess being dumb kinda helps too. I've never been too good at telling how much danger I'm in."
>"...I guess that makes sense too."
"Eline, are you sure you really want to do this?"
>"Kobolds don't scare me."
"Well, I'm just making sure."
>"I understand. It's just that a lot of people are going to die very soon, and I want to be able to stay brave when it happens."

Mark 2011/06/25(Sat)18:25 No. 317681 ID: a9ba96
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"...Come again?"

... her amulet seems to be moving. grab it and yank it off. NOW.

That necklace. It's an eye. It's staring at you. Send it on a little trip AWAY.

>>317679
"What? Why do you say that?"

if it tries to do something to you when you grab it then take us out and poke at it with us.

Hey don't just snatch the necklace. Ask her what it is first.

don't just grab the necklace, i'm guessing its a scrying item and its picking up on something big and nasty in the near future.

Mark 2011/06/26(Sun)09:14 No. 317953 ID: a9ba96
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"What? What makes you say that?"
>"Huh... Aaah! I... I wasn't supposed to say... I just got a bit... I... I wanted... I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."
"Your uh, your necklace is starring at me."
>"It... that's... d-don't touch it! I--it's important!"

>>317797
Yeah, something is certainly weird here. I'm uh, I'm not sure if I want to just touch whatever it is that this thing is, though.

>>317702
Hmmm... you know, that actually gives me another bearhound-level cool idea.

Mark 2011/06/26(Sun)09:20 No. 317957 ID: a9ba96
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Mark removes the artifact from his vest and shows it to Eline.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to take it. I've got something a bit like it, actually."
>"D-does yours talk, too?"

...Yeah, something is certainly up with that eyeball.

"Sometimes."
>"And... a-are the voices nice?"
"...When they feel like it."

Eline leans in to get a closer look at the artifact.

Well hello there, lovely.

Mark 2011/06/26(Sun)09:23 No. 317960 ID: a9ba96
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Perfect, and now I can... oh gods I have no idea what this is going to do.

I sure hope this doesn'

... 2011/06/26(Sun)09:23 No. 317961 ID: a9ba96
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...

??? 2011/06/26(Sun)09:26 No. 317962 ID: a9ba96
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Eline.

Eline, I cannot feel your presence. Has harm befallen you, young one?

Eline?

>>317960
The fuck are you staring at, Eye-gor?

hey dude. nice outfit. you can see outside right? we are the ball that just poked you. just wanna know what's up with you.

Nah she's fine, you're just being distracted from her by being touched to us. I'm sure it's temporary. Mostly sure. We're blinded too at any rate.

So what's your story, fellow orb?

Guess again my friend. Notice how I said 'my friend' as a show of peaceful intent. That peaceful intent will disappear fast if I learn your trying to harm Eline. Seriously I will destroy you seven kinds of crazy. But if your not trying to harm her, then none of that's relevent, in which case uh, it's nice to meet you Mr...?

>>317962
You know, preparing this girl for the apocalypse or whatever, cool beans, but why are you having her follow that outrageous bitch around?

In case you are wondering, Big Bad Evil Guy, someone just got Orb of Infinite Psyche into your Eyeball Necklace. Reeces Apocalypses will soon ensue.

Also, I agree with the previous voice. Why have Eline follow that gigantic bitch around? Literally ANYONE else would be acceptable. Even that demon. He was an evil bastard, but at least he had DRESSS SENSE.

Warpath the Unstoppable 2011/06/26(Sun)11:14 No. 317989 ID: a9ba96
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Voices. Interesting.

First, I would like to thank you for the compliment regarding my outfit. Many believe black armor and a horned helmet to be overdone, perhaps even cliche, but I feel that the look is still quite effective in intimidating opponents while remaining practical.

As for Eline, I'll have you know that I have no intentions of harming her. It would be both senseless and counterproductive. I also did not request that she follow the "outrageous bitch" she is currently in the company of - Eline joined "The Pack" on her own. Eline has no other duties for me than to go about her own business. Her job for me is fulfilled simply by being one of those who bare my Seeing Eye, as they aid me in scouting Ution. Eline is free to do as she pleases, as long as I am free to observe.

As for me? Here on the Orc's home continent of Turgeth, I have been given many names. Charnelbone. Madspawn. Lord Skulldeath. Bloodgulch Murderkill. Dark Baron Evilrage the Cadaverous.

...Though they're all flattering titles, for purposes of practicality I prefer to go by "Warpath." Or "Warpath the Unstoppable", if I'm feeling dramatic.

I don't speak to many outside my Watchers these days. It's nice to meet you.

For a guy named Warpath, you are incredibly polite. No offense.

>>317989
Hrm. Need any help conquering the planet? It's one of our hobbies. We're great at brainstorming and constructive criticism.

Also, when are you planning on sweeping across the globe with your limitless orcish hordes, slaughtering all in your path? Just a rough timeline would be handy, so we know when to dump all our stock and head for the hills.

just what are you? i don't mean to offend but your bearing and habits are indicative of some sort of immortal, or a very magically powerful mortal.

huh, that is interesting. why does eline carry your eye? surely she must gain something from it.

Well you seem nice enough, pleased to meet you too. Is your bloody history of carnage more of your own design, or is it only because you hung out with violent warrior types?

You say she is free to do as she pleases, but have you helped or hindered her ability to do so? I have no doubt you have done well by her. but clearly she doesn't have confidence in her abilities and decisions. If you provide a strong commanding presence that would be a help her to as a crutch but not to help her find her own strength. Now with us, less focus means the host has to make judgement calls on our scattered advice.

In short, Warpath what kind of help do you really give this little girl?

>>317989
I'd like to ask about your post conquest plans. How are you going to govern?

Warpath the Unstoppable 2011/06/26(Sun)13:12 No. 318020 ID: a9ba96
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I take no offense to the inquiries regarding my mannerisms. I see no reason to be impolite to you, as you have shown no intentions of being impolite to me. It's as simple as that.

As one of my Watchers, Eline bears my Seeing Eye. It allows me to obverse her travels and scout the land. Any aid I give her is merely simple advice, as I prefer my Watchers to be capable of self sufficiency. Eline is not confident, but in time I believe she will grow to overcome that.

Now, conquest and ruling... it was an aspiration of mine long ago, I'll admit. But I don't intend to conquer the world, or even all of Ution. I simply intend to conquer enough land to construct a dungeon upon.

You see, many, many generations ago, before even the war between the Drow and Elves, I brought my army to Turgeth in search of a challenge. I had made a deal with a Devil to stop me from aging so I could hunt down and eradicate the bloodlines of several families who wronged me, but once that was complete I was left with a great deal of power, weapons, and undead servants I had amassed in my admittedly short-sighted quest for vengeance, and little else to actually do with them. So, having heard stories of the Orcs and their power, I lead my hordes against the mighty Tribe Grool, slaughtered their armies, decapitated chief Garbag, and claimed their territory for my own. Upon the land of Tribe Grool, I built a great, sprawling dungeon and waited deep within it for warriors to oppose me. They came by the hundreds at first, then by the tens, and over time Orcs began to simply avoid the land that was once owned by the great Tribe Grool, and I faded into folklore amongst the Orcs. I'm sure another attack on a tribe would spur another thousand years of hundred-orc raids on this dungeon, but I've come to a conclusion as of late. Orcs... are boring.

They’re great fighters, but they’re nothing but brawn. From the great war against Garbag’s tribe, to the fight with Garbag himself, to the hundreds of thousands of Orcs who valiantly threw their lives away in my dungeon, well rest their souls, none of them ever deviated from the strategy of “run forward yelling and swininging weapon.” They lack strategy. Tactics. Formation. Don't get me wrong, I like Orcs. It's just that They too predictable.

So I’ve set my sights to other places. Ution, while home to Orc traders and immigrants from Turgeth, is also home to Dwarves and Elves and Humans and all sorts of species I have not yet had the pleasure of fighting. And so, I sent my men to Ution to disperse the Seeing Eyes to travelers and adventurers, so I could see the land and determine which of the Kingdoms I will wage my next great war against, and upon which capitol’s ashes I will build my next great dungeon.

I apologize if I droned on for a bit too long there. It’s been a while since I’ve given that speech to anyone.

But that's enough about me, what about you? You appear to be in the care of the sibling of the aforementioned "outrageous bitch" whom Eline follows. How has that been for you so far?

>>318020
Eh. Pretty good. He's a bit of a klutz when it comes to helping people to be honest, but he means well. It's just that his track record so far includes releasing two psychotic killers, and burning down an entire village, killing basically everyone who wasn't killed by the psycho.

Poor lad. He needs our help, or he'll accidentally release the Balrog of Morgoth and destroy the world on the way to the post office or something. Though at least when WE are around, he's competent. Ish.

However, I like you. You're probably the best Evil Overlord I've ever seen. Keep up the good work!

oh not to bad. he's a bit of an idiot, but his hearts in the right place and he has potential. though I do have to say razing an entire kingdom just to get people to fight you does seem a bit wasteful. maybe you could raze a medium to large city, build your dungeon and then send out powerful raiding forces? this would have the advantage of having countries rather than individuals coming after you. if thy lose interest or decide your not a big enough threat just go burn down another city. fewer civilian casualties.

he is some kind of idiot savant. he sometimes does stupid things but sometimes does things AMAZINGLY clever. think with us keeping his stupid shit in check he would be a pretty cool dude.
also, i suggest hitting a point between two or three countries. would result in them putting aside differences to fight you, and you getting the most adventurers you could want. everyone wins!
and yeah, seems your devil deal has just the classic "too much of a good thing" downside.

>>317989
Interesting, but I'd like to offer some advice.
People are more scared by the unknown than by aggression, but that prompts caution more than violence.
If you attack outright then they'll immediately launch counter-attacks and deplete their resources in a bid to remove you. That will leave them weaker and much less of a challenge, which is contrary to your goals.
If you simply show up in a desolate area, build your dungeon, and dress the place up to be ominous, then you'll get people preparing for war. You'll have small border skirmishes that they'll learn from, and they'll start drafting proper plans to fight.
After a year or two you can conquer a few towns and raid a few cities, and that will prompt them to put their plans into action. Rather than a disorganized poorly planned mess, you'll have a prepared opponent that's ready for a proper war.

That's your goal after all, correct? The challenge of fighting the strongest foe you can?
Who knows, maybe with time to prepare they'll be capable of killing you.

As far as Mark goes? He's a brave idiot. He's well intentioned, but his incompetence tends to leave destruction in his wake. We think he might be halfway competent while we're helping him, but hold no illusions that he'll ever fare well on his own.

Would you be against helping us get Eline away from Mary? She seems like a good kid but Mary is going to inevitably put her in harms way or just abandon her to the wolves.

Interesting thing you have going there, I'll admit. But I wonder if you're really going about it the best way. You love to be challenged and you don't like to be bored. It seems like the worst thing you want to do is crush other places and build dungeons upon it's ashes. Because at that point you've already won. Sure you'll be resisted and revenge will be sought, heroes will try to bring it down for a while. But ultimately there is nothing to be gained for them and you'll end up being avoided and ruling yet another wasteland. Or they could win and that's just as boring until you go and take it back.

You need to have incentive! You need heroes to oppose your dungeons because of what it is doing, not already done. As a base of operations for attacks upon the surrounding lands stealing their wealth and valuables you'd have some fighting to protect, some to avenge, others for glory and some just to loot. I think you get that well enough already, but they also need to sometimes win. More dungeons, smaller expendable forces, singular dangerous beasts, specific goals and plans that can be learned of and thwarted.

And if you really want to have fun with it you can play both sides. Instigate heroes to go after you by dropping hints and rumors about plans that may be true or not, employ shopkeeps to outfit heroes on the cheap if only "they stop that menace that is driving away business". Heck you can even give them relics to sell that were purloined from other heroes!

Another idea: drop the fighting thing and make an empire to rule properly. But if you wanted that you would have already done so... Still it wouldn't be boring as long as you ran it fast and loose, letting uprisings and wars and such play out. It's the "peaceful" solution for you, if and when you want it.

>>318020
Eh, pretty good. Not my favorite host ever, but at least he tries.

So hey, we seem to have pretty similar things going on here. Except that, you know, you actually live on this world. But, amulets that let us see and speak to their bearers? Seems pretty close.
...Say, you think we might be related to your amulets? Or is that kind of a common thing around here?

>>318035
Not to imply your lack of education, Mr. Warpath, but I feel the need to simplify and summarize the previous words.

>Being a dark, scary overlord won't keep the adventurers coming, but being a dark scary overlord with A SUMMONING RITUAL THAT WILL RESHAPE THE WORLD IN HIS IMAGE will, provided that you restart it every ten generations or so. We have a similar fellow, by the name of Dracula? You may not have heard of him.

>Set up temporary decoys that both appear and are legitimate threats, save for the fact that the heroes who take it out find that the leader was just a soulless puppet that you taunt them through. Nothing spurs on a good adventure like getting a hero to think 'Now It's Personal'.

On a side note, would you mind building a small empire on the side so that we could inherit it when you finally get defeated? It would help start up a proper legend of 'The Dark Reign of Lord SkullDeath'. We love building and managing massive power bases, and using them to CONQUER THE WORLD via a mix of socio-economic dominance and really big weapons. If nothing else, I can assure you that we are experts at hero building, and when you eventually 'come back from the dead' you can be certain that the next batch will be even tougher than the last.

We get a place to rule, you get your life of endless challenges, it's a win/win situation!

Oh, I almost forgot, what about hiring yourself off to fight other big name fellows, or meddle in wars, and such? Be a good, and quick, way of finding other strong people to fight, that also have the wisdom of experience and the cleverness to win.
Not to be a weeaboo, I'm getting a Zaraki Kenpachi feel here. Anyone else drawing similar comparisons?

Warpath the Unstoppable 2011/06/27(Mon)17:08 No. 318525 ID: a9ba96
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Hmm... interesting suggestions, though I have to wonder if you are making them with the intent of aiding me, or reducing the destruction my arrival will bring. Either way, I'll take them into consideration. After all, there remains a great deal of planning to do. I still believe that the fall of one of the kingdoms of Ution is an important part of bringing the right warriors. From experience, I can say that the desire for revenge fuels great battles.

Regarding Eline... I understand that her current company is dangerous, but so is the role of adventurer itself, and that role necessary for my Watchers. And as I said before, I prefer for my Watchers to make their own decisions.

...But I'll see what I can do to convince her to leave The Pack, if you agree to do something for me. The man your orb is currently in the possession of. Mark, I believe. From the way that you describe him, I cannot help but be reminded of a man I once knew. Headstrong, and Reckless, but... well-intentioned, if anything else. You say he has potential, but I wonder just how much...

If I were to persuade Eline to seek new company, do you believe that there is any chance your guidance would be able to prepare Mark for a fight with me?

totally. win or lose i can promise it will be an interesting battle.

>>318525
Is that a challenge, my good sir? I do believe it is.

The game is on!

Dude, this is the kind of stuff we EXIST for.

assuming mark is allowed to bring companions and we are given sufficient time to help him grow, I would put the odds at least 50/50 of him wining against you.

Challenge Accepted!

We are enthusiastic givers of advice, aimed towards the goals of whoever will listen. Even if we put a little spin on how we say to do things what we say is far too impulsive and random for deceptions. It isn't like we could convince you to be a nice guy or something. I honestly believe you will get bored of how you are doing things now, and that restrained and sustainable villainy would be more interesting in the long term.

If there is half a reason for him to do so we can steer Mark towards fighting with you. All you need to do is show us the path and provide an incentive. The fact that you have an interest in him will help greatly with that. All you need to provide is two things: What can be gained by challenges you, and the consequences of him not. Then we can simply tell him such and that will be that.

Realize though, as enthusiastic and straightforward as we are if we go with Mark to fight you we won't hold back at all. His survival and your destruction would be our aim... But you wouldn't want it any other way, would you?

>>318525
I'm pretty sure we could lure her away from them anyway, but then again we'll probably wind up trying to make Mark somewhat competent.

I think you kinda missed the gist of what we were saying, though. He keeps getting people killed through poor decisions and bad luck. This includes at least one town and at least one friend.
Also? He's not headstrong, he's just incapable of understanding that he's a screw-up.
He's reckless, but that's because he's long since given up trying to think problems through. He's not following an instinct, he just flails about wildly and hopes things work out.

>>318550
I'd give Mark way better odds than that if we actually had a party.

I wouldn't give the party such good odds of survival, though.

Warpath the Unstoppable 2011/06/27(Mon)18:53 No. 318589 ID: a9ba96
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This is great to hear.

If Mark has friends by his side when the time to face me comes, so be it. But for now, focus on ensuring that he is ready for his goal.

Your voices grow quieter. It would seem it has come time for us to part ways.

I hope to speak to you again sometime in the future.

Mark 2011/06/27(Mon)18:57 No. 318591 ID: a9ba96
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>"I...I told you not to touch it!"
"Eline, I don't think I broke them."
>"B-b-but neither of them are working now!"
"It's uh, it's fine! Mine just kind of stops talking every once in a while."
>"M-mine doesn't!"
"Uh, well, I'm sure that, uh..."

Oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods

back
tell her to relax, we and the big man were talking. you try paying attention to your surroundings when talking to someone on another continent.

>>318591
Tell her not to worry. We just had a little chat with her boss.
Turns out he's some immortal warlord that slaughtered most of the orcs after getting bored. He's convinced that nobody could possibly be as incompetent as you so you must really be incredibly competent and simply hiding your true capabilities.
Sooo he's decided that you are his nemesis and you're destined to fight each other to the death.

You are so fucked.

SO! Tell Eline that she's the most powerful person in her group, and she doesn't get the respect she deserves from them.

Yeah about that eye, turns out it's the watching eye of an ancient evil warlord. As it happens he is rather polite and bored. Eline is being being advised by him but apparantly not controlled. He doesn't seem intent on doing any harm to her which is good. But he does seem to taken an interest in you and that is... well to put a positive spin on it you might get the chance to do something about him. At least he doesn't seem to be in any kind of a rush, but he has plans to attack Ution somehow or another. Better learn how to kick ass and gather a team to help you do it, because fight or flight shit is going to get harder for you and everyone else.

This is the most important thing: Don't freak, you do not want him to think you pussied out. Elines fate depends on him looking forward to your efforts. So look at him right in his eye and accept his challenge. Or don't, but it really won't help anything.

>>318591
Mark, could you please just stop panicking every time we leave for a little while? Pretty please?
Because so help me, when the time comes for legit fight-or-flight with the big man, I'm gonna leave your cowardly ass out to dry if you refuse to man up.
There are those who survive deadly situations by panicking Rincewind, and then there's everyone else. Guess which group you're in?

>>318591
DUDE! AWESOME NEWS! We scheduled you for an ultimate deathmatch with a never-before-defeated Overlord (I think his name was Killmurder or Flesheater or something) who's literally beaten the life out of so many Orcish adventuring parties that he's gotten bored of it! He want's to beat adventuring parties over here now, and we promised we'd make YOU into a worthy arch-nemesis.

ISN'T THAT GREAT? This is going to be awesome! High five!

>>318633
wow, that is quite possible one of the worst ways to tell him. the good news is that he's patient and wants a good fight so he's willing to wait until you are strong enough to have a good chance of beating him. His only real goal is to get worthy people to fight him. this means that he's probably going to give you a sporting chance. But if you don't beat him he's going to burn a kingdom to the ground to make sure someone worth fighting comes after him. Don't panic, you do have the postnatal to beat him. your just going to have to work you ass off realizing it.

Clearly you must get Eline working for your party instead of your crazy sister's party. Eline's going to have a dramatic amount of development until she casts aside the Seeing Eye, renounces Warpath, helps you defeat him, and bears you a son.

Well that last part is optional I guess.

>>318716
What're you on about? Have her renounce the Seeing Eye? Do you think we're Warpath's enemies or some such? We're just friendly rivals, and obviously we actually want to join forces. Eventually.

...Of course we do still need her to defect from Mary's party to ours for that. And on general principle. So, that would be our current PRIMARY OBJECTIVE, yes?

Anonymous 2011/06/28(Tue)04:14 No. 318866 ID: 28e94e
File 130925965224.jpg - (22.66KB , 452x339 , k290475_thats_the_joke.jpg )

>>318659

Hey Mark? It turns out those eyeball necklaces are the eyes of an Evil Overlord from another continent. He's simultaneously the most terrifyingly evil badass and the most charmingly polite fellow ever. He's decided that he's going to conquer one of the countries around here. Which is the bad news. The GOOD news is that he's doing that to find a worthy opponent, and wants us to use all our awesome might to transform you (and maybe Lin's party can come too) into an UNSTOPPABLE BADASS. Which we can do. Please don't be upset. The alternative is one day an unstoppable badass shows up one day and blows up a random country, and we have no prior warning.

Mark 2011/06/28(Tue)12:08 No. 318964 ID: a9ba96
File 130928812720.png - (139.73KB , 453x577 , Dungeoncrawlers132.png )

>>318592
Oh! Good to see you're back. I was worried for a second.

"Don't worry Eline, my voices were just talking to the big man."
>"Oh! A-alright, that's kinda cool. My voice just came back too, s-so I'm sorry if I w-worried you."

Wait, what do you mean "from another continent?"

>>318602
>>318610
>>318621
>>318633
>>318659
>>318716
>>318761
>>318887
>>318866
...
I...

....

oh gods what

>"Haha, m-my voice says that he had a great conversation with your voices!"
"Th..That's nice to hear, Eline."

Mark 2011/06/28(Tue)12:20 No. 318970 ID: a9ba96
File 130928883501.png - (167.18KB , 398x587 , Dungeoncrawlers133.png )

>"Hey, Nessya?"
>"Yeah, Vinbal?"
>"I found another bear trap under these leaves."
>"Good find. That could have been trouble."
>"Yeah. You see anything?"
>"I think there might be a bear trap under that clump of leaves ahead."
>"Check it out. We can't be too careful when bear traps are invol-"

Before the two can continue, Mary interrupts them.
>"Are you guys serious?"

Mark 2011/06/28(Tue)12:24 No. 318972 ID: a9ba96
File 130928909620.png - (110.92KB , 288x693 , dungeoncrawlers134.png )

>"I thought that these Kobolds were supposed to be like, trap masters or something. If the extent of their trap mastery is literally "bear traps under piles of leaves," I don't think we really need two guys leading the way and pointing out every suspicious pile of leaves they see. We've been walking down this path for fifteen minutes, and I have yet to see you "great thieves" find anything that I wouldn't have been able to find.

>in fact, allow me to amaze you with my pro trap-detecting skills."

Mary pushes ahead of Vinbal and Nessya, pointing to piles of leaves as she walks.

>"Bear trap!"

Mark 2011/06/28(Tue)12:25 No. 318973 ID: a9ba96
File 130928911607.png - (84.87KB , 288x693 , dungeoncrawlers135.png )

>"Bear trap!"

Mark 2011/06/28(Tue)12:26 No. 318976 ID: a9ba96
File 130928921259.png - (129.45KB , 333x694 , dungeoncrawlers136.png )

Thwip!

>"Bear tra- hhhhng!"

>>318976
Uh oh.

>>318977
why uh-oh? that is EXACTLY what we wanted to happen.
now mark ,charge in and pretend you care.

Point to her and yell "Spear Trap!"

Please remember even though he isn't actually here the immortal villain in question is looking right at you so please don't act like s- oh shit. That's uh... a bit more lethal than expected. Try to help her not die.

Damn. I mean, she was a GIGANTIC bitch, but still. Right through the kidneys and intestines, probably hitting several arteries. Sorry man. Unless Eline is the best healer ever, your sister is probably dead.

... huh. I don't think that's survivable. it probably cut open her intestines and quite possibly her liver and kidneys as well. Not to mention blood loss and internal bleeding.

just need her stabalized enough that the paladins can get her.

>>318976
Rush over to her! Call Eline over and get her to start healing!
Elevate the wound! Which in this case I guess would mean propping her up in the doggy position?
Then start sawing off the tip of the spear so you can remove the GIANT CHUNK OF WOOD stuck in her body.
Don't actually remove it yet, though, since the wood is applying pressure and keeping things from bleeding even worse.

You're going to end up pulling the thing out bit by bit while Eline heals the damage in the recently vacated area.

>>318980
Do this if your one stone-cold motherfucker. Otherwise run over to your dying sister and act like the worried brother that you are anyway.

Mark 2011/06/28(Tue)13:51 No. 319009 ID: a9ba96
File 130929425794.png - (130.27KB , 502x512 , Dungeoncrawlers137.png )

Oh shit, I was hoping for traps that were a bit less dangerous than that.

>Eline: "Miss Mary!"
>Samwell: "Spear trap!"

Eline rushes over, and I follow close behind.

>>319009
Oh, good, Samwell did it so we didn't have to.
Deck him in the jaw, then rush over to help.

Do this: >>318996

Mark 2011/06/28(Tue)13:57 No. 319011 ID: a9ba96
File 130929464209.png - (121.94KB , 461x435 , Dungeoncrawlers138.png )

>Tur: "Now, lass, if ye can hear me, I want ye to listen. Not to say I don't think ye gonna make it, but if ye' don't make it, I just wanna make sure it's alright ta' take ye belt. It's a very nice belt, and I'd hate to see it go ta' waste."
>Furor "Wonderful. And I suppose I'm going to have to fix this?"
"Oh gods that looks bad. Is she going to be alright?"
>Furor: "Maybe. Can't be sure, but I think I can fix this. Eline, get over here. We have work to do."
>Tur: "Just eh, groan once if ye' okay with me looting ye' belt, and groan twice if ye' not, okay? I'm not gonna take it if it's a problem, but if ye' don't reply, I'm gonna assume you would've said 'yes.'"
>Furor: "You guys can help out if you want, but you're more than welcome to run ahead. With any luck, you'll solve this Kobold issue before she gets up and I won't have to worry about... whatever the hell it is they have planned."

tell them that they don't need to fix her just get her stable enough that the paladins can fix her.

>>319011
...then punch Tur in the back of the head, call him an asshole, an start doing the things here:
>>318996

"Nessya, Vinbal? If you don't have any healing magic, then could you take this asshole" Point at Samwell "and keep going with the traps? I'll take care of things here and meet up with you outside the village."