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Chanting Daisy
2e1743
This is a bit long and I expect most of you shall pass over this. There's a tl;dr version at the end of my post, for those so inclined.
My fine fellows, we have before us a rather bizarre situation. Madamn Raital feels a bit too much. She has developed an incredible infatuation with Master Mudy and in so doing has trapped him in the situation that he is in now. There are all kinds of problems with this.
One - I assume that we'd like our Hero to continue his relationship with his half-sister.
Two - Raital is socially retarded. She has been raised on how to act as befitting one of her station, not as a normal, ordinary citizen. She fails to recognize that some things just are not acceptable and that things have a time and place.
Three - Raital is incredibly powerful. More powerful than anyone else we know and are on good terms with. This makes interacting with her in a normal level of physical contact leaves our hero with no real options.
All of these come together leaving us in the situation that we are in now, namely that Mudy is dealing with a child in a very adult situation and that this child is willing to deal with problems in a very childish fashion, and that this child has more power than a man who destroyed an army encampment in moments. Just thought I'd make that observation.
The obvious aside, we come now to a much more difficult matter, how to solve this dilemma. Mudy would rather not be the subject of unending sexual advances by his lovely lady. While that might be something to consider in the future, now is a time of action and things must be done that don't involve Master Mudy's genitals. However, this is a rather charming, if ridiculous, relationship that Mudy is in and it would be disgusting, downright disgusting to have it ruined simply by a failure to communicate in a healthy, adult manner.
But I beat around the bush. How to do this. Well, putting it simply, either Raital needs to grow up and realize that there's a way adults do things, or it needs to be put in such a fashion as even a child could recognize things. But children are difficult creatures that don't always respond to the manner of teaching you provide them with. I find it highly unlikely, though not impossible, that Raital is going to mature over night. Instead, I think we'll need a very accurate idea of Raital's mental disposition to come up with the proper teaching method.
But I dare say I have a solution.
Teaching that sex in public is bad. Mudy needs to set up a grand stage, a wonderful play. And he'll need the help of all his friends to do so. Gathering up those willing and with perhaps a bit of talent in disguises and acting (Darkmoon being the most helpful considering the resources at her disposal in the area). The goal here is to create a situation as instigated by Mudy that creates an incredible deluge of ill opinion directed at our hero (not Raital, this is important). What's more, this all needs to be caused by a sexual encounter. The desired response is that Ms. Raital will see that there are consequences to her actions, and by falling upon Mudy's head instead of hers she'll be able to see this all the clearer, rather than aiming it at her and risking her blowing it off with childlike indifference or, worse, explode in overdramatic sorrow or rage.
Now to prepare for this event itself. Gathering at least Darkmoon (she seems to understand what's going on so with any luck she'll be willing to help), Mudy needs to set the stage. This would, optimally of course, occur in Rapier's territory (unbeknown to him!), somewhere in an area considered public but cordoned off due to Dagger's hand in politics. Arranging a group of trusted individuals skilled in this sort of thing (perhaps a dark elf theater troupe?), these selected fellows populate the area prior to Mudy's arrival. Maybe even encourage them to be a bit over the top, all the better to gain Raital's attention. I can also appreciate the idea of flamboyant dark elf actors in a far too enthusiastic attempt at causality (with Trapeizing Commoners and Exotic Merchants, ahah) and Raital being none the wiser due to her social ignorance. This will probably all need some time to organize, so those in the party who aren't actors themselves can briefly distract Raital while Mudy himself organizes this grand plan. And hey, maybe find out some things Raital likes. Things she thinks are pretty, or cute, or things she likes to eat. This is important for later. Keep it in mind.
Now, the acting crew at hand, we need our stars. Mudy leads, saying that he wishes to take Raital someplace special. But stop, right in the midst of a wide open area in this cordoned off place. Someplace with a LOT of commoners (well, play commoners) about. Keep about this area doing entertaining things (not hard with our actors at hand) until she makes her eventual move. We know it's coming, it's just a matter of when. She's generally rather secretive about this kind of thing, but be a little clumsy today. Fall about while she's grabbing at you, and do so in a fashion where she has no choice but to come after you to continue. The actors need to take their cue here. Back off, turn your heads, just so Raital thinks it's safe to continue. But, prior to the, err, act itself, just as that final piece of clothing that would reveal all shame prepares to fall, our actors go into, ah, action! Dark elf play actors come tumbling in, shouting curses and taunts at the pervert Mudy! Mudy the shameless, Mudy the foul, Mudy the lech! All directed at HIM mind you. This is important. Also, if the Dark Elves could be encouraged to be a musical/dance routine here, that'd be incredible. Oh, and for the love of god, have at least Dagger and Totenkopf at hand in case Raital gets the notion to try and blow away a commoner, that'd be awful.
Mudy plays along with the whole thing, acting hurt by these awful declarations and trying his best to withstand this onslaught of disfavor. Now we step up the hurt. Out comes a man dressed up as Rapier, who loudly declares that he can accept no such alliance with a man such as this! Let this actor ham it up. But in the end, it all comes down that because of this, the alliance with the dark elves falls apart, the Mudy is no longer welcome in this land (still no mention of Raital). Next, the party members come in and spout similar such nonsense, that because of this thing, this disgusting act, they can no longer travel with Mudy, that surely the realm is doomed to the Skullking's rule. Keep leading all of this on to the dramatic conclusion. If Raital isn't protesting by now, that it's her fault, that Mudy didn't do anything, that she's sorry, etc., etc., then I've gravely misjudged the good in our little lady friend. But on to the dramatic conclusion! From the wings come a multitude of bemasked sorts, in the guise of the Skullkings warriors! Black cloaks, skull helms, the whole shebang! They dance onto stage in macabre sycronicity, singing an awful dirge to the glorious Skullking! (Get our former Skullking-ites to help on this one.) The line parts suddenly as Calavera (in fact a disguised dark elf of course) takes center stage, declaring a glorious day to the Skullking! For now, with Mudy and his crew divided, their is no chance for the world to survive! Victory and glory to the Skullking! Victory! Victory! Victory!
Oh god, I hope Raital is in tears at this point, or else this plan is awful. Assuming she's the childlike innocent as I place her, she'll play along with the whole thing in simple ignorance and naivety, slowly breaking down as all these awful things fall upon poor Mudy's shoulders when it's ALL. HER. FAULT.
And then Mudy takes her shoulders and smiles. The whole crowd stops suddenly, an awful, ear shattering silence settles over the crowd. "Sorry," he says, in a truly apologetic manner. Because he knew it would turn out like this. And he knew it would hurt her, dearly. But it had to be done. Take her into an embrace as she sobs her poor little heart out. And you know then that she'll never do this again. (And definitely take a moment to regret that, as there is still something rather delightful about the whole thing. Still for the best.)
"Cheer-up Raital!" The players cheer as one. Everyone immediately throws off their masks and claps for the girl as she makes her important discovery. Mudy apologizes again as Raital does one of the following; Cries some more or turns into a Tsundere ragefest realizing she's been tricked. But the play actors shower her in confetti and streamers as gay music fills the air. All the important characters, our fake Calavera, fake Rapier, and our acting party, come forward and personally apologize to Raital for playing this trick on her. All the stands suddenly reveal that they've got delightful treats, magnificent and exotic treasures, all things just for her to explore and generally have fun with (remember what I said about favorites earlier? They go here. We're trying to make up for being ULTRA DICKS).
Of course, be prepared for the eventuality that Raital is going to depart with Mudy, a determined look on her face as she drags him along. We know this will happen, c'mon. She takes him to a very private area and looks him dead in the face. Give a good heart to heart here. Apologize for making her look like a fool, but tell her that that could have just as easily been truth as fiction. She'll pout a bit, then make her agressive move, noting that this sort of thing will only be for the right time from now on, but she'll make an exception this last time.
Alternatively, she's so shocked by the whole ordeal that she's terrified to initiate a sexual encounter with Mudy. In which case, enjoy a wonderful evening with your Tsuntsun girlfriend as you try to make up for things, have a night of the town, enjoy the after party, and realize that you're going to have to make moves from now on, big boy.
TL;DR - Make a play. Teach Raital Sex in Public is Bad. Singing Skullking Minions.
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