Well, looks like we need to start drumming up business. Demolitions and Excavation, no?

Hire a crooked geologist/prospector/whatever to say that some hugely valuable ore is nearby, and get the contract to excavate it. Then reveal that the prospector was crooked, say that the ore is hugely radioactive and that the prospector is a Commie, turn him in, and demolish the mine.

Get paid thrice! Excavation, reward, demolition!

Administrator 2012/04/08(Sun)11:09 No. 399429 ID: 295383
File 133390857731.jpg - (70.37KB , 888x500 , characterselect.jpg )

Look at these slobs. Can't even clean up after themselves.

Select who you would like to control. I'm sure you're all familiar with their specialties, but here's a quick refresher.

The fat Russian man in the middle is Heavy Weapons Guy. His specialty is getting shot repeatedly and not dying. Repeated cranial trauma has left his mental faculties questionable.

The pensive looking young man to the right of him is Scout. He is a quick fellow, but overly cocky in his abilities.

The one behind the newspaper is Sniper. He's the most calculating of the group, and a crack shot if there ever was one, but he seems to be a bit dull as a personality.

The two having a conversation are Soldier on the left and Pyro on the right. The Soldier is the one true nephew to Uncle Sam, but he has a nasty temper and a death wish. The Pyro is an enigma. Not much is known about him(?), but his(?) skill in pyrotechnics cannot be matched.

The man with the wrench is Engineer. There is little he can't fix, but after years of getting machines to do his job for him, he's become quite lazy and unmotivated.

To the left of the fridge, cooking, is Medic. An amazing doctor, but his "mad scientist" methods had his license revoked. Not much in the "sanity" department, but he has yet to mutilate his teammates, so perhaps there is still hope for him.

Passed out on the counter is the pride of Scotland, Demo Man. He's been working with explosives since childhood, and could destroy a city within an hour if it dared to insult his missing eye. His alcoholism is costly, but drunkenness seems to augment his skills in some strange fashion.

I can't quite tell where he is, but the final member of the team is the Spy. A backstabbing Frenchman with loyalty issues. He cannot be found if he doesn't want to, and his knife means instant death to any unfortunate enough to get in his way, but his pride and self-centered agenda have interfered with the mission before.

You are secretly the Spy, aren't you?

Medic!

you are BLU spy disguised as RED spy, undercover for MONTHS now

>>399429
SPY!

>>399436
Perfect.

Also, BLU Spy and RED Spy may be the same person.

demoman

spah

MEEEEDIC!

Who else has 'fix the team's problems' on their job description, after all?

Be the spy who is drinking coffee beside the medic.

>>399436
>>399443
This.

Administrator 2012/04/08(Sun)14:28 No. 399471 ID: 295383
File 133392052239.jpg - (60.83KB , 888x500 , gentleman.jpg )

You are in control of the Spy. As much as one can control him.

"Gentlemen. I look forward to... working with you."

>>399436
>>399443
What an absurd concept. If he is really the BLU Spy, then he was essential in the destruction of his own organization, and did just as much work for us as the rest of RED. If that turns out to be the case, I expect you to keep him in line.

Now, in terms of what the spy is capable of, he is an expert of espionage, and is a highly capable hitman.

A few potential missions I can suggest are:

-The gathering and selling of corporate information.

-Assassinations.

-Theft of high-value, high-risk objects.

I have also been given some resources to assist you in your endeavors. For every mission completed, I can procure for you:

-One cosmetic accessory.

-One weapon. (The Spy cannot use heavy weaponry, such as Large Machine Guns and Explosives. He can have three at a time.)

-One gadget. (Gadgets include, but are not limited to, Sappers, Grappling Hooks and Disguise Kits. So long as you can retrieve them afterwards, they are all permanent. He can hold 3 at a time.)

Please select resources to compliment your desired mission. I shall inform you of any significant missions or bonus objectives on-the-fly.

The spy would like a pet turtle. He would like to steal a boat.

>>399472
The turtle is his weapon.
His cosmetic accessory, being unrestricted, is a large machine gun.
Might as well pick satchel charges for the gadget while we're at it.

>>399471
He needs a special cigarette case as his cosmetic iteam.

Revolver and bali-song knife for his weapons.

Sapper, disguise kit and grappling hook as gadgets.

And of course he's going to do some assassinations. First he has to pleasure Scout's mom though.

wapon will be knife, cosmetic accessory will be groucho glasses, and gadget will be disguise kit.

Assassination:
-One cosmetic accessory: Clipboard. Because you can get anywhere with confidence and a clipboard.

-One weapon. A pen that shoots a pellet loaded with Ricin. Very very short range.

-One gadget. Disguise kit.

stop touching your ass

>>399474
Don't you mean comfort BLU scout's mom?

It's been two years, sniff, but every day is a struggle.

I would say go with the classics: butterfly knife, revolver, sapper, disguise kit and the time honoured invisibilty watch (assuming that's available).

>>399483
Either way some Scout's mom is getting some hot spy bonings.

>>399471
Accessory: Large Machine Gun

Weapon: Your Eternal Reward

Gadget: Disguise Kit

>If he is really the BLU Spy, then he was essential in the destruction of his own organization, and did just as much work for us as the rest of RED.
Or maybe the entire 'RED' team is, in fact, formed of BLU spies. Would you ever really know?

>>399481
This seems reasonable. The pen must, of course, also function as a regular pen. Can't have them getting suspicious as to why we aren't writing ponderously on our clipboard.

Administrator 2012/04/08(Sun)22:42 No. 399642 ID: 7d19c4
File 133395013788.jpg - (71.92KB , 888x500 , FirstMissionStart.jpg )

Well, I can certainly see where the "bitter defeat" comes from. Here is the equipment I have granted you:

Cosmetic: Clipboard.
Weapon: Pen Gun.
Gadget: Disguise Kit.

Now, for your first assignment, which I have arranged personally.

Inside this casino is a man you have to kill. It's that simple. Your methods are completely up to you. Your contact is a man who goes by the codename "Mr. Pink".

There are several locations you can begin your search, but remember that you are a civilian. Any area that is off-limits to the public is off-limits to you.

Performance Room: There are many people gathered here to see a famous piano player.
Poker Room: Fewer people here. Always a full game going on.
Bedroom Suite / Dice Room: Need to sign in with a guard to get in here, you might be able to use that to your advantage.
Lobby: Only a few people. The man at the front desk has a full guest list, it could come in handy if you got your hands on it.
Blackjack Tables: Most of the gamblers are either playing or observing the Poker room, so this room is nearly empty, save for the dealers.

There is also a vault, but it's heavily guarded, and you aren't nearly well-equipped enough for a heist.

Well then, what all do you know about this "Mr. Pink"?

>>399642
roll out your portable baccarat detector. this may be a den of gambling, but there are standards.

>>399642
Let's scope out the Performance Room first thing.

need to find the guy with guest list's boss. so just mingle.

disguise yourself as someone not wearing a mask.

>>399642
To the Lobby, we're getting our hands on that guest list. But first a disguise. Lets disguise ourselves into the engineer, say that we're there to check their plumbing other engineer related stuff.

Head to the washrooms, we can catch somebody off guard to disguise as.

Disguise as someone who should be there to blend in. (hide the clipboard)

Go to the Performance room and casually learn what you can.

We could then try to disguise as new assistant (maybe a sexy young thing?), and then tell the guard we lost our copy of the list. We would obviously plead with the guard not to tell anyone because we need this job.

Performance room. Blend in, eavesdrop, learn.

Administrator 2012/04/10(Tue)13:53 No. 400128 ID: a759c2
File 133409121743.jpg - (33.41KB , 888x500 , Performance Room 1.jpg )

You enter the Performance Room.

{For added effect, here is the song that is being played! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDnnZD2ZWpA&feature=related }

You are greeted by the sound of a piano playing.

Spy: "Not exactly Mozart, but it'll do."

"Shh!"

Spy: "Oh shut up."

You take a spot over by the railing to get a better view of the room. Perhaps from here you can find this "Mr. Pink".

Administrator 2012/04/10(Tue)14:04 No. 400132 ID: a759c2
File 133409187217.jpg - (44.71KB , 888x500 , Performance Room Overview.jpg )

{Your clipboard has been hidden.}

There are a number of people here, though not as many as expected. Perhaps there are more downstairs. At least you don't stick out too much.

You can count two policemen and what appears to be the performer's bodyguard, but there are likely more you just don't have a view of.

You have several options on what to do here. Most people seem to be focused on the music, but there is a pair to your right having a conversation. You can eavesdrop on them, or you could simply talk to them, as you could to any of the guests here.

One of the men on the other side of the room appears to be using a smart phone, ear buds in. Odd, but perhaps he's just waiting for someone.

There is also a gentleman wearing a pink suit. Not very subtle, but I'm not one to judge.

How will you proceed?

Let's get in touch with our contact. Try to be subtle though, in case this man is not in fact Mr. Pink. Lean on the railing next to him and listen to the music for a bit; as a bonus this is next to the chatters, and you can eavesdrop. After while, think to yourself aloud that tonight feels like the night to make a killing at the poker table and head there. See if he follows.

>>400132

damn right you don't judge. you're wearing a pink suit as well.

go talk to Mr. Pink. be all "I was told to contact you" or some kinda spyey shit. you probably know these things bettar.

earbuds? re-appropriate those from the fellow with the smartphone as quietly as you can, and then go see mr pink.

Aye, may not be Mr. Pink...

Anyways, I vote that we >>400139

That ain't Mr. Pink. It'd be way too obvious.

>>400139 will do nicely.

>>400132
Go and chat up the dude in the pink suit. Subtly try to find out if he's the guy or not. Otherwise look for someone who looks like Steve Buscemi.

Administrator 2012/04/11(Wed)21:19 No. 400462 ID: 2a95cc
File 133420439966.jpg - (28.23KB , 888x500 , SpiesSpyingSpies.jpg )

You approach the man in pink, doing your best not to nudge the man engrossed in conversation. Your target says nothing, so you continue to listen, both to the music and to the other finely dressed gents.

"Quite the performer, wouldn't you say?"

"I'm envious of his suit, personally."

"Got an air of mystery about him, though."

"This is his first public appearance in years, isn't it?"

They continue to ramble on about the piano player, and you don't pick up much else. Deciding you've been nonchalant for long enough, you strike up conversation.

Spy: "Good evening."

"Evening."

Spy: "Enjoying the music?"

"It is why I came here, I would hope it's worth my time."

Hmm, this might be difficult. If he's giving off any signs, you're not seeing them.

Administrator 2012/04/11(Wed)21:20 No. 400463 ID: 2a95cc
File 133420442330.jpg - (36.72KB , 888x500 , Subtlety.jpg )

Spy: "So, do you have any business in mind?"

"Not beyond going to the john."

Spy: "I see..."

There's an awkward pause before he continues.

"Look, if you're here to see Mr. Pink, you've got the wrong man. You're the second guy to ask me this afternoon, and it's starting to irritate me. Besides, don't you think a spy would pick a better codename? Now, if you're finished-"

Spy: "Hold on a moment."

Administrator 2012/04/11(Wed)21:28 No. 400468 ID: 2a95cc
File 133420490672.jpg - (32.00KB , 888x500 , MyBadBro.jpg )

Spy: "You said another man asked you before me?"

"Yes. Is there an issue with that?"

Spy: "... No. I apologize, sir. Please enjoy the rest of the show."

"Thank you. Weirdo."

"My word, excitable, isn't he?"

"One could wonder how he ever made it this far in his career."

"I guess the fact that he's here at all shows that he's doing something right."

Those older men are starting to get on your nerves. They haven't stopped talking about the pianist since you got here.

Other than that interesting tidbit of information, that was a failure. Is there anyone else you'd like to speak to, or anything else you would like to do before we move on?

Check smartphone man. The earbuds means he clearly isn't here for the music.
And it looks like you have some competition.

maybe it's the pianist.

>>400469
replace check out man with take man's earbuds.

>>400468
Check out the pianist next. Who knows, he might be the target or something.

there is a shady looking man on the opposite side of the room as you. he is wearing black and leaning up against the railing.

check him out maybe?

Administrator 2012/04/12(Thu)21:14 No. 400698 ID: fb7ca4
File 133429048293.jpg - (25.18KB , 888x500 , ExcuseMeSir.jpg )

> Steal the earbuds

Spy: "Excuse me sir..."

Administrator 2012/04/12(Thu)21:15 No. 400699 ID: fb7ca4
File 133429051797.jpg - (29.09KB , 888x500 , JustAnotherDaysWork.jpg )

Spy: "Heh, simpleton."

Administrator 2012/04/12(Thu)21:20 No. 400703 ID: fb7ca4
File 133429082524.jpg - (41.44KB , 888x500 , HesJustDisinterested.jpg )

> Shady looking dude

Spy: "Excuse me sir, I was hoping you could answer a few questions."

"Look fella, I'm just waitin' for the little lady to get back from the bathroom. I don't have anything to tell you."

Spy: "It will only take a moment."

"Yeah, she said the same thing half an hour ago. You got any questions, go ask her."

Spy: "Then I shall. I hope you enjoy your lonely walk home."

"Asshole."

Administrator 2012/04/12(Thu)21:31 No. 400707 ID: fb7ca4
File 133429150020.jpg - (40.06KB , 888x500 , Nope.jpg )

> Pianist.

"Stop right there. No one past this point."

Spy: "I just need a moment to speak with him."

"If I believed that, I wouldn't be a very good bodyguard. Enjoy the music from a distance."

Spy: "Nngh."

Well this is all very unfortunate. At least we got the phone... and the earbuds, for whatever reason.

Failures aside, what next? The evening is young, and it's likely that the actual assassination will be much less of a hassle.

Spy: "Next time, we meet the contact beforehand."

Yes, yes.

>>400707
Infiltrate the ladies bathroom to see what the lady the shady dude was talking about is up to. It seems a bit suspicious. Take on some sort of disguise that would make it normal for you to walk in there.

I'm tempted to just murder everyone.

Look through the phone.

Yep, to the bathroom we go.

That's like the most private place in anywhere.

in retrospect, it woulda been smarter to steal whatever the earbuds were attached to so we'd know what he was listening to.

try the lobby.

Administrator 2012/04/13(Fri)10:48 No. 400844 ID: 1e92df
File 133433931462.png - (950.59KB , 1062x600 , Helloooooo.png )

> Check the bathroom.

Spy: "Uh, hello? Is anyone in here..?"

Guess not. Looks like the rude fellow got dumped after all.

Hit on him, flirt the info out of him. That might work.

Administrator 2012/04/13(Fri)11:07 No. 400849 ID: 1e92df
File 133434042518.png - (937.14KB , 1062x600 , AnnoyingOldGuysElectricBoogaloo.png )

"Ha, what a dimwit."

"The women's washroom? I thought he had more tact than that."

Spy: Oh for the love of...

Spy: "... Evening, gentlemen."

Man in White: "Why hello there!"

Man in Red: "Yes, it's about time you showed up."

Man in White: "Now now, not everyone can take a hint like the ones we give out."

Spy: "Then I take it you two are-"

Man in Red: "Mr. Pink."

Man in White: "The one and only!"

Spy: Goddammit.

Spy: "I was not informed there would be more than one."

Man in White: "That's half the fun! Seeing you so-called professionals wander around, trying to act nonchalant."

Spy: "Yes, I'm sure it was very amusing. Now, who am I here to remove?"

Man in Red: "The pianist."

Spy: "... That's it?"

Man in White: "Indeed it is."

Spy: I hate these senile bastards.

Man in Red: "Once he's dead, we will send the money to the one who contacted us."

Man in White: "Enjoy yourself!"

Spy: "Mmm."

Considering we can't get close enough to him during his performance, what's the plan of action?

>>400849
Drop something heavy on the pianist. Or kill the bodyguard and take his place.

Is there a skylight or a chandelier over him? If so, then the answer is obvious.

wait for an ambush in his room. go to the room suite, I guess.

>>400849
Drop a chandelier on him if you can. If you can't do that then we need to get at him some other way, and then get away, since Ricin is a slow acting poison and we don't got anything else to use to kill him.

Hmmm, we could try to get his autograph after he's done playing, jab him with the pen then. Have to do it discretely though, don't want to arouse any suspicions. Might be good to disguise as a beutiful woman to get his attention so he signs the autograph in the hopes of something more.

Classy as killing a guy via falling chandelier may be in a one-on-one battle, it's a stupid tactic in a room full of witnesses.
Wait until someone goes to the bathroom, quickly disguise yourself as that person, shoot the target, run into the bathroom, change into someone else, and look scared.

the chandelier plan might work, disguise yourself as a maintenance worker get close and cut almost all the way though the cable so it will fall a little bit after you get clear.

Pretend to be a reporter doing a piece on him, with your clipboard for notes. When you get alone for an interview you'll have only the pianist and his bodyguard to deal with. Take the guard silent and fast, and the man will be defenseless.

we have a pen-gun, and this is an entertainer. obvious answer is to ask for their autograph after the performance.

>>400849
Wait, ask them why someone else would be asking about them. Do you have competition in this mission?

Also, I like the pen trick, but if we've got competition we'll need to off the pianist early, which means we might not be able to wait.

England Hat 2012/04/25(Wed)22:18 No. 404743 ID: 5df74f
File 133541750433.png - (928.34KB , 1154x650 , Going Up.png )

> Drop the chandelier

Not a bad idea. It was attached to the skylight, so the roof seems the way to go!

England Hat 2012/04/25(Wed)22:21 No. 404744 ID: 5df74f
File 133541768180.png - (733.02KB , 1154x650 , Anyone Home.png )

Hmm, the elevator doesn't reach the top floor. Compromise is the middle name of any good spy.

No one seems to be on this floor. Perhaps tending to the lower floors.

Spy: "Hello, what's this?"

staff only. need to disguise ourselves as a staff member first.

England Hat 2012/04/25(Wed)22:33 No. 404750 ID: a18e51
File 133541840531.png - (888.51KB , 1154x650 , This is how Human Revolution started.png )

>>404746

A good point, but moot if there's nobody to see us.

Vents! Always a one-way ticket through any building, albeit mildly uncomfortable.

England Hat 2012/04/25(Wed)22:35 No. 404752 ID: a18e51
File 133541854662.png - (0.97MB , 1154x650 , Gosh I love the piano.png )

Spy: "Hmm, this isn't all too complicated. Just a screw here, a bolt there, and-"

England Hat 2012/04/25(Wed)22:47 No. 404758 ID: a18e51
File 133541922871.png - (1.35MB , 1154x650 , Higher than expected.png )

Well, judging by the screaming and alarms, that went down quite well. However, you're now on the roof of a building full of guards with police on their way. Any clever ideas?

Disguise yourself as a guard? Then when the police come, switch to a police disguise and wander out.

Hide there for the night; a roof should be plenty of room to avoid any searchers for a skilled man like yourself. Leave in the morning when things have cooled down.

What, that fall is only 30, 45 damage tops? Jump for it.

I'm kidding, don't actually do that. They'll be looking for the point of disconnect so you should leave through where you entered and hide in a side room. When they pass by, then slip quietly away and blend with the crowd.

become a blue engineer.

How good are your parkour skills?

>>404758
It's time for a cunning disguise and then exiting the building via one of the back exits. That or find an open window or something that you can sneak into.

Administrator [1/5] 2012/04/26(Thu)10:48 No. 404853 ID: a18e51
File 133546249488.png - (1.19MB , 1154x650 , best plan.png )

> Jump

Administrator [2/5] 2012/04/26(Thu)10:51 No. 404856 ID: a18e51
File 133546267254.png - (1.01MB , 1154x650 , Evening officer.png )

> Wait

Administrator [3/5] 2012/04/26(Thu)10:53 No. 404857 ID: a18e51
File 133546279488.png - (644.75KB , 1154x650 , Sir we need to ask a few questions.png )

> Back the way you came

Administrator [4/5] 2012/04/26(Thu)10:58 No. 404861 ID: a18e51
File 133546309749.png - (1.26MB , 1154x650 , assassins greed.png )

> Parkour skills

Administrator [5/5] 2012/04/26(Thu)11:04 No. 404862 ID: a18e51
File 133546348677.png - (1.32MB , 1154x650 , Ill check this way.png )

> Disguise

Well, that could have gone worse.

Granted that the pianist didn't survive that massive hunk of metal being dropped on him, I'm going to call this a success.

Until I have our payment arranged to fund our next mission, what are your plans? Nothing extravagant, you're still under watch, don't forget.

new toys please.

>>404862
Time to go and get laid with Scout's mom.

>>404895
This.