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In memory of Flyin' Black Jackson
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File 134533946060.jpg - (41.91KB , 400x400 , Stones001.jpg )
444962 No. 444962 ID: bbee3d

ALAS!
Expand all images
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No. 444963 ID: 4a328b

FORSOOTH
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No. 444965 ID: 061a93

I knew him, Horatio.
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No. 444967 ID: b6edd6

Also alack.
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No. 444968 ID: 34cbef

this is where we find out that it's a real man wearing a horse head
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No. 444970 ID: bbee3d
File 134533997076.jpg - (43.61KB , 400x400 , Stones002.jpg )
444970

My father warned me against the voices. Ignore them, he said, for they are tricky and full of mischief.

But my troubles have forced me to call upon you, for alas, I have been smitten by LOVE!
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No. 444971 ID: 34cbef

listen here eeyor, don't be so down. Turn that frown upside down.
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No. 444972 ID: 72d49b

I'm really not a lass, it's just a dress.
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No. 444973 ID: 6a1ec2

First you have to measure your enormous horse dong. It must be up to spec or we cannot advise.
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No. 444977 ID: bf54a8

we are fickle yes but we do our best at the task given.
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No. 444978 ID: d6c330

Love? Don't worry Eeyore! Getting people together is kind of a hobby of ours. We're quite good at it, sometimes usually.
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No. 444980 ID: 4a328b

You fool. Ok, we need to find a way to dispose of your heart before all is lost. It's the only proven method of dealing with love.
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No. 444981 ID: 58e730

>>444970
Nick Bottom, is that you? This is what you get for troubling fairies.
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No. 444982 ID: b85f8c

>>444970
Alright, who is it that you're in love with?
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No. 444995 ID: bbee3d
File 134534173233.jpg - (69.01KB , 400x400 , Stones003.jpg )
444995

My father tried to get rid of his heart. But alas, it killed him! Already, I begin to suspect your advice.

I am in love with no fairy. No, nothing so trivial! I am in love with the most splendid being in the world, a creature of infinite grace and beauty…

But this brings me only sorrow, for my love is Royal, and I am most certainly not.
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No. 444996 ID: 4a328b

Ok, so we just need to get rid of HER heart, and then she won't turn you down despite you being all horribly common!

PROBLEM SOLVED
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No. 445000 ID: f793db

Arrange for her to be kidnapped, then win her heart by rescuing her from those nefarious brigands who you had capture her.
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No. 445004 ID: 58e730

>>444995
Love is an emotional bond based on a deep commonality of desire. Have you spoken to this beautiful royal creature and professed your feelings, or are we talking about lust and adoration rather than love itself?
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No. 445019 ID: 8042f4

She is beautiful! Have you ever spoken to her? What are you good at that is impressive? (Can we woo her heart with your poetry or song? Can you bring people to tears with your acting?)
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No. 445028 ID: bbee3d
File 134534576313.jpg - (63.77KB , 400x400 , Stones004.jpg )
445028

We have been friends since childhood, for my love is kindhearted and cares little for the disparity of our stations. We have spoken often…

But how could I profess my feelings for one of Royal lineage when I have no title, no fortune, no lands to my name? At least none worth mentioning. I am somewhat skilled in rowing and carpentry, but these are ordinary skills at best. Even if I were capable of an act of valor, such as you describe, a single act would not make me a worthy suitor.

A thousand times has my devotion urged me to open my heart to the one I love, and a thousand thousand times has shame sealed my lips.
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No. 445037 ID: 58e730

>>445028
Rowing and carpentry... sounds like you've worked below decks in a ship.
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No. 445042 ID: bf54a8

ask the king for a quest! say that you will do ANYTHING. and that if you fail you shall forever stay silent. if he has a quest that REALLY needs doing, such as dragon slaying, he loses nothing to send you on it and if you do manage it you totally earned a title.
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No. 445043 ID: 8042f4

What do her parents think of her interacting with a lower class? What do they think of you? If you do not think a single act would make you suitable, how many do you think you would need? A dozen? A hundred? A thousand?
Are there any other "worthy suitors" that vie for her heart?
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No. 445046 ID: 4a328b

Dude just tell her how you feel. If she likes you too then y'all can think of how to overcome the class difference together. If she doesn't like you then going out and doing quests or whatever isn't going to help with that.
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No. 445097 ID: d6c330

Well, your options are basically to open up to her anyways, and hope she feels something similar, and cares for you more than your station.

The alternative is to go on an adventure and earn status worthy of her.
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No. 445104 ID: af6fbd

Come on, adventure is basically the best thing ever. Dooo eeeet.
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No. 445120 ID: ee0301

Thine prize, with value of such ponderous heft, is more esteemed to thee than the most lustrous of jewels. Yet thou canst express it thus without the horrors of thine incongruity to harbor abomination?

Into one of moral decrepitude, ye must convert, to seize endearment of thine hallowed bride. A sack becomes ye, and with it, ye shall snare that which belongs not to you. Take thine rapturous affection, and onto thine precious one, thou shalt force it.
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