Nope.

Walk away from fledgling con-man.

2/3 Tavern 2015/09/19(Sat)13:23 No. 670599 ID: cb945c
File 144269418517.jpg - (55.51KB , 760x570 , image.jpg )

>"Um...."

Shit I'm part of the darkness, this dude doesn't even know I'm just a bandit, lol

Boss needs money tho, maybe--

"I AM AWARE OF YOUR INDECISIVENESS, CHILD OF A DAAAAAARK PAAAAAST! YOU FEAR FOR THIS CHANCE....THIS CHANCE FOR G L O R Y Y Y?!?!"

3/3 Tavern 2015/09/19(Sat)13:24 No. 670600 ID: cb945c
File 144269424153.jpg - (40.65KB , 760x570 , image.jpg )

OH FUCK HE KNOWS

WHAT DO I DO FUCK

fuggit, it's the middle ages. I'm gonna have a bad time anyhow so might as well have a bad time doing good.

Hear them out for now.

Are you really sure this person isn't just doing a cold reading, picking their words according to your facial reactions? I'd suggest testing that but I'm not sure how or if that's really a good idea--attempting to be flirty could go horribly wrong, or dizzyingly right, depending.

Your name is Darzay Neretva!

1/2 Tavern 2015/09/19(Sat)19:39 No. 670712 ID: cb945c
File 144271674875.jpg - (56.55KB , 570x760 , image.jpg )

Fuck could he be reading my face or something? My pokerface is perfect though, fuck

Play it off dude, play it off....

>"U-uh.... My name's Darzay. I'll hear you out...for now."

Flawless

2/2 Tavern 2015/09/19(Sat)19:53 No. 670716 ID: cb945c
File 144271761412.jpg - (67.04KB , 760x570 , image.jpg )

"DARZAAAAY!!! HEAR THE WAILS OF OUR PEOPLE! TO THE NORTH THE SKELETON KING BEGINS HIS ATTACK!! SOON ALL THE NORTHERN PROVINCE SHALL FALL VICTIM TO HIS WILL! A HERO IS NEEDED, TO STOP THE SKELETON KING, AND BRING HOPE TO THE LANDS OMCE AGAAAAAIN!!!!

"TO THE WEST OUR COURT LIES BROKEN!! THE DEATH OF THE BARON HAS TURNED THE VASSALS AGAINST ONE ANOTHER--IS THERE NO ONE STRONG ENOUGH TO REUNITE THE VASSALS AND LEAD THEM AGAINST THE SKELETON KING, TO REBUILD THE BARONAL CROWN?!?!! COULD IT BE YOUUUUUU?!?!?

"PERHAPS THE WEALTH OF THE BARON COULD COME IN HANDY IN YOUR QUEST.... BUT DARE YOU FACE THE DANGERS OF THE DUNGEON OF KASBAN?!?!?!? DARE YOU?!!?!"

>"Uh--"

"THE CHOICE IS YOURS, GREAT HERO!!! WHERE SHALL YOU RIDE?!?!? WHERE WILL YOU FIND YOUR G L O R Y Y Y Y Y Y!!!!"

Jesus I don't know, none of that sounds very safe.... Is it too late to just like go tell the boss I couldn't find any cash or is this like a thing

>>670716
You need anarchy for your bandit horde to thrive. Go to Kasban and wait for the other warlords to finish their raids before swooping in and taking land - you can use the funds to support your reign over the survivors.

1/2 Tavern 2015/09/21(Mon)12:50 No. 671381 ID: cb945c
File 144286504236.jpg - (48.50KB , 760x430 , image.jpg )

Waaaait.... Ooooh I got a killer idea rn

>"Yeahhhh, I'll go find that treasure...to save the province with, of course."

"HERO!! I KNEW YOU TO BE THE CHOSEN ONE OF LEGEND!!! RIDE FORTH, FOR G L O R Y Y Y Y Y Y Y!!!!!"

lol whatever

2/2 Tavern 2015/09/21(Mon)12:57 No. 671382 ID: cb945c
File 144286545977.jpg - (61.03KB , 760x523 , image.jpg )

Dude this is perfect, I can go after this treasure and get the whole gang set. Then when this "skeleton king" or whatever blows over, we'll have money to take over whatever's left, lol

But a dungeon could be dangerous.... Should I stop by our camp and ask some guys to go with me? Boss said don't come back without money tho, she can get scary when we don't follow orders....

>>671382
run in, jack some coin, dash out for help grabbin more

>>671382
Just farm a few monsters around the dungeon, that's an easy way to make safe money.

get some coin then get help.

Tavern 2015/09/22(Tue)16:49 No. 671761 ID: cb945c
File 144296577686.jpg - (82.41KB , 760x637 , image.jpg )

Maybe if I just run in real quick, she couldn't mind me borrowing some coins for a good--

"Neretva! What are you doing back already?"

shit shit SHIT

>"Oh, uh, hey Boss."

"I don't see any moneybags on you, mate."

SHIT STAY CALM TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS

>"M-moneybags? Oh, see--"

"You heard my orders, didn't you? You did bring the money. Right?"

>"UHHHHHH...."

>>671761
Naw dude, i got like a great opportunity for a con! We're gonna filthy rich. I just uhhh need some stuff.

>>671761
The dungeon's just a few miles from here. Also, some warlord is pillaging who-knows-what for I-don't-care, we should ambush him at the last second and take over his target.

1/4 Tavern 2015/09/24(Thu)17:06 No. 672352 ID: cb945c
File 144313960401.jpg - (60.63KB , 672x760 , image.jpg )

>"N-naw, but I do have this great idea for a con!"

"This had best be good...."

>I tell her about the creepy old guy, his ramblings about a warlord and how sneakily I finessed the info about the dungeon and its treasure out of him...

"Really?! That's brilliant, Darzay! And you've come back to let me know you're off to look for it?"

2/4 Tavern 2015/09/24(Thu)17:12 No. 672354 ID: cb945c
File 144313995671.jpg - (57.20KB , 760x570 , image.jpg )

>"Uhhhh actually I needed some stuff--"

"You're brilliant Neretva, I could kiss you!"

>"R-really?"

"Simply genius! You can go search for it right away..."

Fuckin A dude I'm in thereeee--

3/4 Tavern 2015/09/24(Thu)17:13 No. 672355 ID: cb945c
File 144314003569.jpg - (54.90KB , 760x570 , image.jpg )

"You and Remus both!"

Excuse me what

4/4 Tavern 2015/09/24(Thu)17:30 No. 672364 ID: cb945c
File 144314104274.jpg - (54.48KB , 595x760 , image.jpg )

Goddammit goddammit goddammit of all the fucking

"Man, why'd you have to come back first?"

Look at this bitch he doesn't do shit but hang around tryna get in Boss's pants what a little piece of shit

"I'm talkin' to you, string bean!"

>"Ahhhm talkin' ta you, string baaaane!"

"Are you--! Are you mockin' me?"

This little bitch why's he her tactician and not me freal that's bullshit

"Jesus, you're juvenile. Do you even know where this place is?"

>"It's to the east dumbass, I thought Boss told you everything."

"I mean specifically, buckethead! You really have no clue, do you?"

>"Uhhhhh...."

"My god, you really don't know. How're we gonna find this place if you don't know anything more than 'walk east?!'"

we've got a name! it's the dungeon of kasban. someone's gotta know where it is. it's fine, we'll play it by ear.

That went better than expected; she gave you a meatshield instead of a knife lashing.

Alright, search the area around the enemy dungeon. Find random mooks and interrogate them for intel on what you can expect from the dungeon. Did they splurge on traps or did they hire praetorian guard rejects?

1/2 Tavern 2015/09/25(Fri)14:34 No. 672657 ID: cb945c
File 144321689242.jpg - (40.50KB , 760x469 , image.jpg )

>"Hey we have a name too you know, it's the Dungeon of Kasban. Somebody'll know where it is, we can just play it by ear."

"Where the hell will we find that somebody, though? Are we really gonna just start goin' to every eastern town like 'hey, where can we find the Dungeon of Kasban--'"

2/2 Tavern 2015/09/25(Fri)14:46 No. 672662 ID: cb945c
File 144321761140.jpg - (44.72KB , 760x495 , image.jpg )

"IIIIIII CAN TELL YOUUUUUUU!!!"

HOLY SHIT

"HOLY SHIT!"

"HEROES OF THE PLAINS, IIIIIII AM THE SPECTER OF KASBAAAAAAN!!! I ALOOOONE KNOW THE PATH TO THE DUNGEON!!

"I SHALL GIVE UNTO YOU THE SECRETS OF THE DUNGEON'S HOME...BUT OOONLY IF YOU MAY MEET MY PRIIIIICE!! DARE YOU ACCEPT MY BARGAIN?! DARE YOUUUU?!?!?"

"Wait, what exactly is the--"

"SOUUUUUULS!!! SOULS TO FUEL KASBAN'S FLAAAAAAMES!!!!"

"Souls?!"

HE'S ON FIRE HOLY SHIT I THINK WE SHOULD WE MEET HIS DEMANDS

>>672662
fuck that
punch him in the dick

gathering souls is like ten times more effort than just finding out where the dungeon is on your own. punch him in the dick

Bait him to the river and kick the ham into the stew!

He can have Remus' soul!

GATHERING SOULS IS SO MUCH EFFORT, COMMENCE DICKPUNCH

1/4 Tavern 2015/09/27(Sun)19:18 No. 673265 ID: cb945c
File 144340669443.jpg - (68.31KB , 760x606 , image.jpg )

>"Here, y-you can have this guy's soul!"

"WHAT?! NO!"

"HE IS TAINTED BY THE SINS OF THE PLAINS!! REQUIRE THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT TO FUUUUUEL THE FLAAAAAMES!!!!"

Omfg that sounds like so much work I'm gonna punch him in the dick

Okay okay oh geeze I just gotta be fast and stealthy like

2/4 Tavern 2015/09/27(Sun)19:20 No. 673266 ID: cb945c
File 144340681060.jpg - (59.54KB , 611x760 , image.jpg )

>"REEEEEEEE"

"WHAT IS THIIIIIIS!!?!?!?"

3/4 Tavern 2015/09/27(Sun)19:22 No. 673268 ID: cb945c
File 144340694334.jpg - (51.57KB , 760x487 , image.jpg )

>"YEET!"

"AUUUUUGHHHHHH!!!!"

OH GOD I DID NOT THINK THIS THROUGH

4/4 Tavern 2015/09/27(Sun)19:27 No. 673272 ID: cb945c
File 144340722520.jpg - (66.57KB , 595x760 , image.jpg )

OH MY GOD MY HAND'S ON FIRE I CAN TASTE MY EYES

Hero of the plains, it seems you have bested my specter in combat. Impressive.

WHAT

As a reward I will grant you one favor. Speak, what is it you most desire?!

W H A T

I want my hand to not be on fire, maybe

i want to be the boss. oh, how the turntables..........

Healing Factor, NOW!

>>673285
healing factor good wish
wish this

Make us the master of flames.

1/3 Tavern 2015/09/28(Mon)19:57 No. 673537 ID: cb945c
File 144349543150.jpg - (52.22KB , 760x570 , image.jpg )

WELL I SORT OF DON'T WANT MY HAND ON FIRE, HEALING FACTOR PLS

This I can do.

NO WAIT BETTER IDEA MAKE ME THE MASTER OF THE FLAMES

2/3 Tavern 2015/09/28(Mon)20:01 No. 673538 ID: cb945c
File 144349571742.jpg - (67.45KB , 760x570 , image.jpg )

Ambitious, aren't you hero? I can grant you a healing factor, but there is only one way to become master of the flames....

You must take them. From me.

Oh uh nvm then I OWWWWWWWWW

I wait for you in the dungeon, hero. Come and take my fires, if you dare!!

3/3 Tavern 2015/09/28(Mon)20:05 No. 673541 ID: cb945c
File 144349595201.jpg - (52.71KB , 760x570 , image.jpg )

"Darzay!"

>"Hunh?"

"I said are you alright?! You just punched a fire demon in the dick!"

Check your hand. Test out your healing factor on a toe.

Also why is everything upside down

>>673542
I've seen this before I think, it's some glitch where flipping images in certain software uses a tag and some browsers don't recognize that tag. Pretty sure it was a Tavern quest that did that previously.

Anyway, your hand's healed now right? Seems like that's all the test you need. Just pretend the fire demon wasn't actually that hot, that way if you see him again Remus might do something stupid. Don't tell him you are now wolverpool.

>>673561
fuck that, bragging rights dude

"haha fuck yeah i did, dude! apparently i have a healing factor now, too!"

Tavern 2015/10/03(Sat)13:53 No. 674660 ID: cb945c
File 144390560815.jpg - (51.12KB , 760x509 , image.jpg )

>"Fuck yeah I did, metal as FUCK! It wasn't even that hot!"

"Alright now, doesn't mean you're shit or anything.... Here, you dropped this."

>"I think that it does, actually? I got a healing factor, too."

"A what?"

>"I can regenerate dumbass, check my hand!"

"Now you're just makin' things up, didn't you just say it wasn't hot? Just cause you're not burnt doesn't mean--"

>"Wehhhh jus' cause yer not burnt don't meaaan!"

"Will you stop doin' that?!"

>"You're just salty that you were too much of a bitch to--wait, what's that?"

"What's what?"

What's what's what?

Pet the mystery orb.

1/3 Tavern 2015/10/06(Tue)18:32 No. 675192 ID: cb945c
File 144418156212.jpg - (44.74KB , 760x497 , image.jpg )

>"This thing, it's like right--hey!"

"What're you doing?"

It's floating away? I swear to god if I follow this and something bad happens omfg

2/3 Tavern 2015/10/06(Tue)18:39 No. 675194 ID: cb945c
File 144418194602.jpg - (50.54KB , 619x760 , image.jpg )

How far is this thing tryna go, we've been at this for like an hour now

"Man you're makin' less sense than usual, we are so far off the road right now...."

>"I know okay, just let me do this real quick! I know this thing's headed somewhere!"

"What thing, Darzay?! There's nothing!"

It's called "Augmented Reality": basically, your hallucinations are HELPFUL.

Keep following it but be weary of traps.

3/3 Tavern 2015/10/06(Tue)18:57 No. 675198 ID: cb945c
File 144418305185.jpg - (41.18KB , 760x519 , image.jpg )

>"This thing that's been floating in front of us for--"

"Oh my god, hold up!"

>"Huh?"

"Are you shitting me? You almost walked us right into Herta's camp!!"

Oh shit, it took us out this far

Mystery orb you've betrayed me

"So stupid! We have to have been seen by now, it's a given!"

This isn't good, Herta's gang is known for smashing whole groups for stepping on their land.... That thing is still floating toward one of those pits though. It couldn't be...?

"We're actually gonna get our heads blown off. They probably already got someone aimin' at us! Why'd you lead me here?! God, why'd I let you?!!"

>>675198
...Wait...

Scout Herta's camp, estimate the number of LIVING enemy bandits.

Trust in the orb, magic is rarely wrong or dangerous. Head into the camp but stay on guard.

>>675207
> magic is rarely wrong or dangerous
What world are you from?

But for this situation, I don't see any enemies and do see a number of things that look like they might once have been enemies, so, probably it's fine?

1/3 Tavern 2015/10/09(Fri)17:30 No. 675678 ID: cb945c
File 144443703859.jpg - (66.09KB , 735x760 , image.jpg )

>"Wait...."

"What're you doin'?!"

>"We have to check it out man, that thing went--"

"Fuck your thing! You go down there if you want but I'm keepin' right here!"

Our fucking tactician, fuckin pussy wow

2/3 Tavern 2015/10/09(Fri)17:35 No. 675682 ID: cb945c
File 144443733515.jpg - (56.36KB , 589x760 , image.jpg )

What a mess.... What made all these craters? Creepy af....

Wait wait where did mystery orb go

Fffffff just stay cool Darzay, when is magic shit ever dangerous or wrong--

"Guhghhhh!"

THE FUCK

3/3 Tavern 2015/10/09(Fri)17:45 No. 675684 ID: cb945c
File 144443791993.jpg - (74.03KB , 731x760 , image.jpg )

OH FUCK, ZOMBIE

"You fokkers.... Y'fink y'can fokken kill Tame.... He's fokken hard, he'll tell ye that right now....

DON'T MOVE THEY NEED SOUND TO SEE

"Ghhhh.... Gotcha now, dastard.... Now yer gonna tell Tame why y'went and kilt his chums...'fore he blows yer fokken sack off...."

SHIT

>>675684
SHIELD BASH

Don't let him get a single shot out! Try to knock him unconscious by stomping on your shield while he's underneath it!

Tell the zombie you didn't kill their chums. If that doesn't work shield bash them.

Stab his gun hand before he can shoot your dick. Getting shot is fine, due to the healing factor, just not there. Ask him what's going on.

>>675684
It's not really a zombie is it? It's just some half-dead guy.

Tell him you just wandered in, you'd like to know what happened too.

1/2 Tavern 2015/10/16(Fri)17:35 No. 676947 ID: cb945c
File 144504211493.jpg - (48.71KB , 760x593 , image.jpg )

SHIT, NOT MY BALLSI GOTTA STOP HIM

>"YEET!"

"FOK!! FOKKER THAT HURTS!"

Wait he can feel pain?

....fuckkkkkk this is just a normal ass guy isn't it

2/2 Tavern 2015/10/16(Fri)17:48 No. 676951 ID: cb945c
File 144504291074.jpg - (52.75KB , 760x647 , image.jpg )

Fuckkkkkk okay okay just play it off and maybe it won't be that serious

>"Whoaaaa, what happened there? Sorry dude my hand slipped--"

"YOU FOKKEN STABBED TAME'S HAND!"

>"Well yeah my b but I didn't kill your friends, I was just--"

"Then why'd ye fokken stab him?!! Oh god, Tame's really bleedin' bad now!!"

>"Look dude, let's just put that in the past, okay? So what's going on around here?"

"ARE YE FOKKEN SERIOUS?!"

Shit shit shit he's not buying it, how do I calm this fucker down

Is he talking in the third person or is another person talking through him!? Just tell him that hands grow back, and chop yours off. Or... Just start saying sorry a lot and explain that you thought he was going to shoot you in the dick.

You threatened the boys, you can't do that without some push back. Now we can move past this like men or we can delve into more pointless violence.

>>676971

1/3 Tavern 2015/10/22(Thu)19:34 No. 678831 ID: cb945c
File 144556769395.jpg - (51.67KB , 760x644 , image.jpg )

He's being so fucking weird, is he like talking in third person

Whatever, I gotta be the bigger man and extend the olive branch

>"Look man I'm sorry but you did threaten to shoot me in the dick, soooo...."

"He fokken didn't, though!!"

>"Cause I stabbed you in the fucking--!! Look can we move past this like real men or are we still beefing?"

"Like real men...? Hey Tame's a fokken man okay, he's fokken hard so he'll forgive ye.... Get him out this hole, huh?"

>"Yeah, I got you."

another successful negotiation, why am I not the tactician again

2/3 Tavern 2015/10/22(Thu)19:36 No. 678832 ID: cb945c
File 144556779823.jpg - (45.43KB , 760x579 , image.jpg )

SHIT MY HAND SLIPPED

"WAGH!!"

>"OH FUCK I'M SORRY"

3/3 Tavern 2015/10/22(Thu)19:43 No. 678834 ID: cb945c
File 144556818203.jpg - (58.66KB , 760x704 , image.jpg )

>"Shit that's deep, you okay down there?"

"Christ, that's some fokken ribs broke! You know how long that goddamn climb took him?!!"

>"My b dude I'm seriously sorry!!"

"Fokken god.... How're ye gonna get me outta here, now, dastard?!"

Oh hey look a black orb again

Jump down.

Slide along the edge. Your healing factor should deal with any scrapes. Then attempt to use whatever that strange door is.

Call over that one easily frightened person that was traveling with us. Once we patch up our friend in the hole ask what happened out here.

>>678836
!

1/3 Tavern 2016/02/05(Fri)18:12 No. 699373 ID: 25f61e
File 145472475019.jpg - (61.41KB , 760x717 , image.jpg )

Shitttt I should get that pussy down here to help with this

>"Remus!! Get your bitchass down here!"

"You're not dead yet?!"

>"You wish, prick.... This guy's hurt, hurry up!"

It'll take him a minute to get here.... Yolo I'm going down there myself!

2/3 Tavern 2016/02/05(Fri)18:45 No. 699386 ID: 25f61e
File 145472670873.jpg - (66.98KB , 760x719 , image.jpg )

"H-hey, what're ye--"

MAD STUNTS OH SHIT

...Whoa I actually made it without breaking something

"Ye fokken--! Now we're both stuck!!"

>"Don't worry, I got a guy coming...eventually. Hopefully."

"Christ, Tame's gonna die down here.... It's really fokken over...."

>"Calm down dude, what even happened around here?"

"Tame don't wanna remember.... Buncha dastards came at us while the boss was out. Raised a fokken ruckus but then the ground just fokken boomed.... He woke up in this damn hole."

>"By this door thing?"

"Dunno what it is. Ain't opened since Tame's been down here--"

3/3 Tavern 2016/02/05(Fri)18:52 No. 699387 ID: 25f61e
File 145472715101.jpg - (33.35KB , 760x439 , image.jpg )

"...Are ye fokken serious?!"

>"Of course..."

Okayyyy that is spooky af.... Can I like close that or something

Use Tame as a meatshield and progress.

wait for remus!

wait for remus, laddy

1/3 Tavern 2016/02/07(Sun)14:13 No. 699861 ID: c5d89a
File 145488319576.jpg - (42.45KB , 760x573 , image.jpg )

I wonder how good of a meatshield this guy would be--

"I'm here! Here, I'll use your shield to lift you guys up!"

Whoa what? The pussy's actually being useful, noice

2/3 Tavern 2016/02/07(Sun)14:16 No. 699863 ID: c5d89a
File 145488341885.jpg - (49.77KB , 760x636 , image.jpg )

"FUCK I SLIPPED"

"Christ, now we're all fokken stuck!!"

U s e l e s s

"BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!"

[i]THE FUCK[\i]

3/3 Tavern 2016/02/07(Sun)14:21 No. 699866 ID: c5d89a
File 145488367545.jpg - (62.92KB , 725x760 , image.jpg )

"SO YOU'VE COME FOR ME AFTER ALL!!"

"IS THAT A FOKKEN EYE?!"

"HERO! ARE YOU HERE FOR WHAT I EXPECT YOU ARE? HAVE YOU COME TO FACE THE DUNGEON OF KASBAN?!!!"

UHHHHH

Grab the nearby gun and shoot that eye, hopeful this answers any questions that eye might of had.

NO IF WE SHOOT THE EYE AND THE THING DIES THE DUNGEON ENTRANCE IS BLOCKED

be polite and say hi

Nah fam, I'm just here because I fell down this hole.

SHOOT THE EYE, SHOOT THE EYE!!!

Might sting them a bit.

>>699911
completely defuse this eldritch dork

1/3 Tavern 2016/02/11(Thu)19:30 No. 701139 ID: cb945c
File 145524781597.jpg - (43.08KB , 760x502 , image.jpg )

"Hey, Tame's banger!!"

OH FUCK SHOOT IT SHOOT IT--

"Wait up, man! Don't go shootin' it in front of the door, if you kill it--"

"HAHAHAAAA!! SUCH A WEAPON CANNOT STRIKE ME DOWN, HERO! NOW ANSWER ME!!!"

>"U-uh, nah I just sorta...fell down this hole.... Hello?"

"FOOL, YOU ARE A POOR LIAR!!!"

WHAT HOW'D HE SEE THROUGH THAT IT WAS SO SLICK

2/3 Tavern 2016/02/11(Thu)19:34 No. 701142 ID: cb945c
File 145524807439.jpg - (75.44KB , 641x760 , image.jpg )

"HUAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! COME, TEST YOUR STRENGTH!!! WELCOME TO THE DUNGEON!!!!!"

>"WHAT THE FUCK"

"NEVERMIND DUDE, SHOOT IT--!"

3/3 Tavern 2016/02/11(Thu)19:36 No. 701144 ID: cb945c
File 145524819614.jpg - (55.33KB , 760x532 , image.jpg )

What

Where even--

Oh nooooooo

Noooooononono I'm inside the thing fuck

Take the map

>>701142
punch him in his shitty door-eye, holy fuck

Well that could have gone better, check out that piece of paper. After that look around the room and see if there is anything important.

1/3 Tavern 2016/02/13(Sat)18:33 No. 701666 ID: cb945c
File 145541720680.jpg - (59.85KB , 760x693 , image.jpg )

Oh that's nice the entrance is fucking sealed. Where'd that creep go I'm gonna punch him in the eye real shit, I'm not fuckin around anymore

"Urgh...I hurt."

>"Pussy."

"Fuck off, bucketbrain--hey, where's your helmet?"

>"WHAT?!"

OMFG MY HELMET I'M STRANGLING THAT FUCKING EYE

"Fuck it doesn't matter now does it, we're trapped.... What do we do?"

Nyohohoho, the tactician's out of ideas huh

*I'm* the tactician now

2/3 Tavern 2016/02/13(Sat)18:39 No. 701667 ID: cb945c
File 145541758583.jpg - (38.78KB , 760x483 , image.jpg )

What's this, a map?

I guess the box with the X is--was--the way out. So we're in this hall here, right?

There's some big room with three branches off of it, the furthest one has some mark on it...the boss room probs

Dude why am I not tactician honestly, master map reading

3/3 Tavern 2016/02/13(Sat)18:47 No. 701668 ID: cb945c
File 145541802498.jpg - (38.35KB , 760x491 , image.jpg )

So this creepy vault thing must lead to the big room...

"Darzay? You got anything?"

>"..."

"...Darzay?"

Okay so helmet stolen or not I'm officially scared as FUCK right now, do we really have to go through that door

What if there's like monsters or something in there

Find some kind of shield or get to cover quickly.

>>701668
>What if there's like monsters or something in there

You have superpowers now, you're supposed to fight monsters. 'sides, monsters is better than traps, monsters you can kill.

1/3 Tavern 2016/02/15(Mon)16:09 No. 702178 ID: cb945c
File 145558137202.jpg - (79.83KB , 760x726 , image.jpg )

Guhhhhh looks like I just gotta do it

>"Can't believe I'm saying this but come on... Might as well go in."

"Whoa, what? Since when did you grow a pair?"

Since I took your job you prick I'M tactician now bitch

Superpowers don't fail me now let's do this

2/3 Tavern 2016/02/15(Mon)16:13 No. 702179 ID: cb945c
File 145558158319.jpg - (45.53KB , 760x512 , image.jpg )

ARD WE'RE BUSTING IN LET'S GO

>"H-h-hello???"

"Go in you pussy, I can't see back here!"

>"Fuck off I'm just being tactical!"

"That's my job, dumbass."

>"Not for long--"

"What?"

>"I said let's move!"

3/3 Tavern 2016/02/15(Mon)16:25 No. 702182 ID: cb945c
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Phew, no monsters... This is totally that big room from the map alright

"Phew, no monsters... This must be the center room."

>"..."

"The hell are you lookin' at me like that for?"

I guess it wasn't the way we wanted to come in but we were looking for this place anyway so... While we're here we might as well try and find some loot for the boss.

Ooooh, I bet we could start with that sword--

"Hey, while we're here we might as well get loot for--"

>"SHUT UP!!"

"What!"

>"I think we should get that sword for the boss!"

"What? Don't be stupid, look at it! It's obviously trapped."

>"Nuh-uh!"

"Pull that thing up if you want, but when you get fucked up don't blame me."

Ursurping the fuckin tactician... I should go pull it up anyway fuck this naysayer

...fuck now I'm not sure though

Analyze the hilt and mount for inscriptions. Come back when you have some rope or explosives.

Inspect it first. Then poke it with something from a distance. At least you heal quickly if it is trapped (and doesn't outright kill you).

1/2 Tavern 2016/02/27(Sat)16:30 No. 705977 ID: cb945c
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Maybe I'll just poke it first

"I'm tellin' you, don't do it--!"

(("W-wait!!!"))

>"Huh?"

2/2 Tavern 2016/02/27(Sat)16:33 No. 705981 ID: cb945c
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(("P-please, be gentle! I...I don't know if I'm ready for this...!"))

It's...talking

The sword is talking

T h e s w o r d i s t a l k i n g

You should pull that sword out, it's obviously magical in nature and magic is a good thing.

I don't think you're the right hero for her...

Plus, you're a spearman, not a samurai. Find a squad member who can use this sword to her fullest potential.

Inspect rune. What does it mean?

Ay yo sword, are you trapped? I mean not like, are you stuck in there, I can see that, duh. But, like, is it safe for me to pull you out from there?

Tavern 2016/02/28(Sun)05:21 No. 706080 ID: cb945c
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"I knew something was up, the fuckin' thing's cursed dude!"

(("C-cursed?! N-no please, I'm decent I swear!!"))

>"Oh c'mon you dick, you're scaring it. It's obvs magic, magic's always good."

"Magic's always--! How do you come up with this shit?"

"What's this rune thing say?"

(("D-don't stare!! It's embarassing...."))

"It's in one of the inscribing languages.... I dunno the little dash thing but that tilted bracket means 'life.'"

>"Hmmm.... Uh huh, that's about right. Good job, man."

"Don't act like you already knew--!"

>"Hey sword, are there any traps on you? Finna pull you out of there."

(("S-s-so forward!! I-I suppose you'd have to ask my big brother, if you'd want to...y-you know...! U-uh, I could call him, if you wanted...?"))

NO BIG BROTHER.

Look, just... either have Remus pull her out, or come back after you find someone better suited for her.

Wait, what's he like, is he a sword too?

Ask about 'Big Brother' before summoning him and let's ask if the sword has a name or a purpose for being in here.

Holy shit this sword is adorable. Lets ask its name.

1/2 Tavern 2016/03/06(Sun)09:58 No. 707531 ID: 3b9753
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hehe, it's weird but this thing is sorta adorable

>"What's your name, fam?"

(("M-my name? It's Gram! My brother says it means something important!"))

>"Who's this big brother guy anyway, like another sword or something?"

(("H-he's sort of scary.... He's so protective, if you tried to do *that* without his permission I don't know what he might do...!"))

>"Soooo if hypothetically if I just said fuck him and pulled you up now what would--"

<<"I'D FUCKING KILL YOU BRO!">>

2/2 Tavern 2016/03/06(Sun)10:02 No. 707532 ID: 3b9753
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Oh fuck Big Brother's jacked

(("B-b-brother!! H-he was just--"))

<<"THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING NEAR MY SISTER BRO? STEP OFF OR YOU'RE CATCHING THESE HANDS, OKAY!!">>

> Gram
Wiki says that Gramr is a famous Dragonslayer sword. Maybe she's a replica of the original.

Apparently, some wanderer with a spear smashed the original into tiny pieces. The blade was reforged, but it's possible that some pieces were missed and used to create Gram. Which means

>>707532
You can break him! Use your spear and aim for the nicked portion of the blade!

We were just talking dude, but if it will keep you civil we can take a step away from Gram.
Now I have a question for you brother, how does one earn the right to pull out Gram?

No, people, let's bring it off. De-escalate - step away from Gram and explain you were just talking. She'll help talk him down too.

I was just talking to your sister, bro! She's her own person! Stop trying to control her! I'm taking her to sword prom!

okay dude, no big! we were just hanging out. it's cool that you look after your sister tho

WAit, she's fucking Gram!? That's a badass legendary sword! We could get so much money for it, or we could give it to boss, or we could wield her and be a hero and get all the bitches!

Fuck that guy. Let's grab her and fight!

1/4 Tavern 2016/03/12(Sat)18:39 No. 708661 ID: cb945c
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fuck fuck fuck I'll have to use my powers of deception yet again

>"Cool off guy, I was just...talking to her. Yeah."

<<"BULLSHIT!!">>

(("I-it's true, Brother! Honest!!"))

<<"HMMMMM....">>

>"See, even she says it's true! Remus?"

"V-very true."

<<"HMMMM.... OKAY BRO IT'S PRETTY LEGIT THAT YOU HAVE LIKE CORROBOTATION AND SHIT FOR YOUR CLAIM, YOU'RE PRETTY COOL AND SCHOLARLY.">>

FLAWLESS

<<SO LIKE, WHAT'RE YOU TWO INTELLIGENT DUDES DOWN HERE FOR THEN?>>

FUCK I didn't think of an alibi, quick pass the mic

>"U-uh, yeah Remus why are we here???"

"Fuck you Darzay...! Uh, actually we were waiting for you. We're sort of treasure hunting, and Gram said we'd have to ask for your permission to pull her--"

<<"NO DICE BRO.">>

"W-what? Is there something we can do to earn the right, or--?"

2/4 Tavern 2016/03/12(Sat)18:51 No. 708664 ID: cb945c
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<<"THERE'S NOT SHIT YOU CAN DO, BROHAM. GRAM'S NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE WITH NO SORT OF GUY, NOT EVEN A SCHOLAR SUCH AS YOSELF.">>

(("Oh, come on! Why--"))

<<"STOW IT, SIS!!">>

(("S-sorry..."))

"It's cool lookin' after your sister and all but what if she wants to go with us?"

<<"BUT SHE DOESN'T!!">>

(("I do--"))

<<"SHE DOESN'T CAUSE SHE KNOWS THAT BROS MAKE HOES!! I'M NOT LETTING NOBODY MAKE MY LIL SIS INDECENT, *NOBODY!*">>

"But--"

<<"NO BUTS BROSEF! BROTHER KNOWS BEST ABOUT LIKE THE WORLD AND THAT'S ALL!! OKAY BRO!!!">>

3/4 Tavern 2016/03/12(Sat)18:55 No. 708667 ID: cb945c
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Looks like there's no way around it then, sorry for this broham but YOLO

(("Uwaaaa~!!"))

<<"YO! BRO!!! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!!!">>

NOOO YOU ARE NOT WORTHY DON'T DO IT DON'T RAPE HER HILT WITH YOUR REGENERATING HANDS NOOO

4/4 Tavern 2016/03/12(Sat)19:07 No. 708674 ID: cb945c
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"I'M TAKIN' HER TO SWORD PROM!!"

(("G-g-gosh!!"))

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

<<"THE FUCK IS THIS MOST UNSCHOLARLY BETRAYAL BRO?! I'LL FUCKIN END YOU, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT DUDE!!">>

"I can't fuckin' stand overprotective pricks like you tellin' someone how to live their life! She's her own woman and she deserves better than bein' stuck down here!!"

(("N-nobody's ever said such kind things about me before...! I-I've decided!! I'm gonna go with this man and you can't stop me Brother!!"))

<<"NOSE BRO!! THE LAST SCHOLAR! YOU CORROBITATE WITH THEM TOO ON THIS?!">>

I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

Your boss could wield Gram! She's a respectable lady who scares away sex-crazed men with her FAT-MUSCLED ARMS and INTIMIDATING FACIAL HAIR! Tell him that!

hm. i don't know either.

that being said, gram probably won't be happy if you kill her brother, especially if you literally use her to do it, so if we can try to find a way to fight with incapacitation as our main goal rather than carnage? that would be cool

Your welcome for the sword prom suggestion. Was kinda hoping our MC would say it but whatever. Boss is his true love anyway.

This is getting out of hand. Douchebag is way too squishy to fight that guy. If it was us wielding Gram we could just kick his ass, but our "friend" here is about to get himself killed.
Tell her bro to calm down, there's literally no way to make her indecent because she's a sword. If he explains a way then tell him that you didn't even think of that and accuse him of being a nasty pervert. Agree that it's pretty lame of him to keep her trapped in this dungeon.
If it still comes down to a fight try not to let whatshisface get stabbed.

>>708697
oops i read the update way too fast and didn't realize it wasn't darzay who drew gram. uhhhh just pretend my post was made with that knowledge instead

1/3 Tavern 2016/03/27(Sun)10:40 No. 711758 ID: cb945c
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This is bad I have defuse this before shit hits the fan

>"Bruh this is getting out of hand! Look, what if my boss took Gram, she's a chick too so--"

<<"HELL NO!! SHE'S STAYING HERE!">>

"Try to stop us, I'll fuckin' kill you--"

>"With what, his own sister?! Chill dude, geeze!"

(("Y-y-yeah, if you didn't use me to kill him that'd be nice...!"))

"...Shit, didn't think about that."

Crisis averted okay okay we can salvage this--

"Darzay, kill him for me!!"

DON'T PULL ME INTO THIS MORE FUCK

2/3 Tavern 2016/03/27(Sun)10:46 No. 711760 ID: cb945c
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<<"I DON'T CARE WHO TRIES, I'LL FUCKIN WRECK YOU BOTH! I WON'T FORGIVE YOU FOR CORRUPTING MY SISTER!!!">>

>"I swear to god dude what do you even mean!! There's literally no way we could make her indecent, she's just a sword!"

<<"JUST A SWORD?!!!">>

oh god pls i'm sorry

3/3 Tavern 2016/03/27(Sun)10:48 No. 711762 ID: cb945c
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<<"I WILL LITERALLY DRAG YOU TO HELL!!!">>

PLS BROTHER NOOOOO

Take evasive maneuvers! Roll around him like in dark souls. Try to stab him in the arm. Don't get grabbed!

Push his hand away from your face with your spear! That's what it was made for!!!

Attempt a nimble dodge away from the doom hand.
Tell him he is stunting her growth by keeping her locked up and without learning about the world he is putting her in more danger. Containment and isolation is only creating ignorance and distrust between them. You talk about scholars but you aren't even smart enough to listen to her, in the end you will loose her.

>>711762
take solace in that, as much as this is going to FUCKING SUCK, you're still immortal
you got this mang
first step, punch dick in head

1/2 Tavern 2016/04/10(Sun)18:14 No. 715677 ID: cb945c
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Okokokok TACTICAL BATTLE PLAN

I'll fuckin Dark Souls the shit out of this dodge and then punch him in the head and--

<<"NOT SO FAST, BRO!!!">>

F U C K

2/2 Tavern 2016/04/10(Sun)18:20 No. 715681 ID: cb945c
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<<"BOOM, BITCH!!">>

>"JESUS!!!"

"Darzay, hang in there!"

MY FUCKING ARM IS SHATTERED DUDE SHUT UP

AND HE EXPLODED MY FUCKING SHIELD BOSS GAVE ME THAT, FUCK MY LIFE

>>715681
Saite dude, you're immortal
it's fine
we're fine

keep pressing the attack, he'll never expect you to keep going after THAT

Think you can spear him through the portal? If so, go ham on this bitch ass glass

Aim for the sigil on his forehead/helmet.

Less whining, more slashing!

Stab into the portal from the bottom up to get past his armor and aim for the lungs!

1/3 Tavern 2016/04/24(Sun)19:53 No. 718912 ID: cb945c
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<<"JUST GIVE UP, BRO!">>

>"DUDE JUST FUCK OFF!!"

<<"YOUR FUCKIN ARM IS TRASHED, WHAT ELSE CAN YOU--"!!>>

>"FUCK OFFFFFFFF!!!"

<<"WHA--WAGH! AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!">>

2/3 Tavern 2016/04/24(Sun)19:58 No. 718913 ID: cb945c
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(("Oh god!!"))

"Holy--! How'd you do that, Darzay?!"

Oh fuck he just like vaporized

I legitimately just slayed big brother, he's just straight-up gone



...bitch deserved it tho

3/3 Tavern 2016/04/24(Sun)20:08 No. 718915 ID: cb945c
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"Uh, good job dude, holy shit...."

(("B-big brother.... H-h-he's really...."))

Both of them are fucking stunned by that fatality, tbh I am too sort of holy fuck

...WAIT

WAIT WAIT WAIT this could be where I really take charge!! If I call what we do next before the dick can, he and the sword will have to follow me right

Darzay, even at the darkest times you are brilliant

Hmmm... what *do* we do next tho, all we got is a murderized ghost thing on the floor and like three big doors

DO NOT TOUCH THAT ^&*(

Probably rigged to zap anyone who isn't a giant violent sword-ghost

You have Gram, she can open doors

MARCH!!!

what if big brother is not kill? WHAT IF HE'S JUST IN THE SWORD NOW soul weapons souls give me more hunger souls fire souls souls more souls

Fucking apologize, before you do anything else.

Examine the chest piece and the sword, keep the helmet.
My guess is he sustained too much damage and retreated back into the helmet. The helmet and Gram both have the sigil on them so I'm guessing that is where 'big brother' is. To be such check out the other equipment.

Oh. Hmm. Dang. Yeah, apologies are probably in order, though I don't know exactly what to say. It might be worth checking if there's a way to bring him back? Also, the other guy is probably in a better position to console the sword. Y'know, not being the guy that killed her brother. Maybe, uh, tell him to console the sword while you scout on ahead a bit?

1/2 Tavern 2016/07/14(Thu)16:42 No. 735833 ID: 6c9de1
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Damn so before anything else I should really probably own up to murderizing her brother, shouldn't I. I'll use that old Darzay charm......

.............

>"Remus! Apologize for me please!"

"What--! You fuckin' prick, you really got nothing to say?!"

(("Of all the--"))

>"Shhhhhhsshshhhh I'm going to scout out the loot now."

Okay with that handled let's peep this gear, I feel alpha as fuck lol wow

2/2 Tavern 2016/07/14(Thu)16:58 No. 735837 ID: 6c9de1
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Okay so I'm lowkey scared the sword is rigged, let's peep the helmet I suppose

The fuck, this thing is hella cold--

<<"BECAUSE I'M IN IT MOTHERFUCKER!!!">>

OH FUCK MIND RAPE, JESUS

<<"SUCK IT UP, IT'S NOT WORSE THAN A SPEAR TO THE DOME! GOD I HATE YOU!">>

Look bro we can talk about this alright, I--

<<"NO NO BRO, I DON'T EVEN CARE. I'VE FUCKIN WASHED MY HANDS OF THIS MESS OKAY, I AM SO DONE. TECHNICALLY I'M BEATEN RIGHT NOW SO THERE'S SOME SHIT I GOTTA SAY.">>

Uhhhh okay shoot

<<"OKAY LOOK, IF YOU WANT THE TREASURE YOU GOTTA KILL ALL THREE OF THE BOSSES IN HERE. THERE'S ONE THROUGH EACH DOOR, THE FIRST'LL OPEN UP IN LIKE TEN SECONDS.

<<"NOW THIS PART'S REALLY USEFUL OKAY? THERE'S A WHOOOOOLE LOT OF BULLSHIT EACH ONE TRIES TO TALK ABOUT BUT IF YOU'RE IN A HURRY JUST STAB THE MOTHERFUCKERS IT'S REALLY NOT IMPORTANT">>

Wow good looks fam, that's actually good to know, I'm gonna drop you now tho

<<"WAIT BRO!!! I HAVE BUT ONE REQUEST!">>

Anything but taking--

<<"TAKE THE HELMET WITH YOU!!!">>

Oh c'mon dude, it feels weird and you're in it and--

<<"BRO YOU OWE ME LIKE HOURS LESS DIALOGUE TIME, PLUS I'M STILL TRYNA WATCH OVER MY SISTER YOU FEEL ME? I PROMISE I WON'T EVEN BOTHER YOU, PLEASE?!!">>

I dunnoooooo....

>>735837
Considering that you have now lost both your sheild and helmet, you are gonna need some morr protection. You should also inform the rest of he group bout this.

>>735837
Considering that you have now lost both your sheild and helmet, you are gonna need some morr protection. You should also inform the rest of he group bout this.

Do it for the sympathy points from Gram. Also inform your cohorts of what just got said, play it off like him being alive was all part of your plan.

Stuff helmet in your inventory.

Do it, do it for the possibility of obtaining more magical powers.