FRACTAL 2016/01/21(Thu)16:34 No. 696259 ID: 8679fe
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Yesterday you got a letter from your sister, Dragass (Drag for short), "firmly suggesting" that you come home to Elsweyr. But you can't go back now! When you left, you said to her:

"I'll show you! The next time you see me, I'll have the most successful flower shop-slash-bakery in skyrim, and a bunch of friends, and a big burly Nord husband!"

FRACTAL 2016/01/21(Thu)16:35 No. 696261 ID: 8679fe
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And, in the eight months that you've been here ... you've accomplished approximately zero of those things.

You're down to your last 200 gold. In your pride (read: desperation to not go home a failure), you've sold all the jewelry and fine clothing you came down with - and not always for fair prices, because your ears and tail aren't doing you any favors up here - but now there's nothing left to sell.

You don't want to give up. But it's always so cold here, and everyone is mean to you, and the food is absolutely horrid, and all Nords talk about nowadays is politics.

got any flowers to sell or anything to bake?

since nords dont like khajiits, maybe you can find a business partner to help you out with sales

Ok, that name is probably not going to do you any good, whats the name in khajiit language? Also, you have a place to stay? a job of anything? A problem you might have, is that Whiterun has a good number of simple flowers around, do you know were to get more exotic and pretty flowers? How much do you know of botany anyway?

Go pick some flowers!

Of all nations, why'd you pick Skyrim? Nord fetish?
Hammerfell would have suited you more environment wise, Redgaurd's are dreamy.
Cyrodil probably has the best flowers ever since Talos fucked up it's jungles and turned it into good forests and farmland about 200 years ago. Thalmor are pretty bad there, but they DID save your moons though.

Brush up on your alchemy skills. When politics are coming, war is, so you could capitalize on health and stamina potions.

You're in town, how'd you swing THAT deal? Even the progressive cities like Solitude don't let the Khajiit in to sell stuff there, they have to do that outside city limits. I mean, maybe your in Falkreath, besides Riften, they would have the best flowers.

listen. find a rich nord, right now, and marry him.

lick. your butt

You could always sell some "services" to the desperate men around here.

become a sex worker who exclusively eats ass

Have you tried working in a bakeshop!!! or with a local farm? Somebody might need a hand

Er, what's the current year, Lickbutt? If it's 4E 201, you don't properly realise how fucked you are right now.

check out the companions - getting into a group might be a good way to get some room and board?

do you have any weapons? we could see if the companions need someone, or we could offer our services to one of the inns, see if we can snag some experience

what do you have on you? i know you said you have nothing else to sell, but you must have SOMETHING... even if its just your flowers.

>>696261
First things first. You need a source of income.

Even if it's not running your own flower shop-slash-bakery. Yet.

Have you tried applying for work at someone else's flower shop or bakery?

Well, first things first, you need to build back up your gold reserve. I know it's not what you want, but being a florist, I'm sure you're familiar with some alchemy ingredients that people will want.

You might also want to consider what types of flowers you've been trying to sell. Nords probably favour different sentiments than other races. Early-blooming flowers to symbolize courage, flowers from plants that grow in the harshest places to symbolize endurance, et cetera.

well if you're picking flowers try finding a alchemist, they love those things for the crap they brew and would probably be willing to pay you for your flowers or even to go out and find a certain type of flower. May not be what you had in mind when you first came up here but hay, got to start somewhere.

FRACTAL 2016/01/21(Thu)20:37 No. 696333 ID: 8679fe
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>What year is it?

That's a weird question. It's the 20th of Last Seed, 4E 201.


>Ok, that name is probably not going to do you any good, whats the name in khajiit language?

Yeah, that's true ... you knew before coming here that Nords, like most humans, are a backwards, primative people who hate bathing, but you didn't know they hated it so much that even a name making a mention of hygiene would be found laughable by almost everyone you came across. Just "Lick" by itself doesn't raise too many eyebrows.

Your name in Ta'agra is Ma'Kir, but if you have anything to say about it, you're gonna get rid of that "Ma" as soon as possible. Speaking of ...


>Why'd you pick Skyrim? Nord fetish?

You wouldn't call it a "fetish," but ...

Nords! Big, hunky, rugged Nords! With their big strong arms and tree-trunk thighs! There's nothing like a nice strapping Nord lad.

Not that you would know. Because you've had no luck attracting one so far.


> Find a rich nord, right now, and marry him.
>You could always sell some "services" to the desperate men around here.
> Become a sex worker who exclusively eats ass

Okay, you're not THAT eager.

FRACTAL 2016/01/21(Thu)20:38 No. 696334 ID: 8679fe
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> A place to stay, a source of income

You've been staying at The Bannered Mare, which is the building you just entered. Hulda, the keeper, is nicer to you than almost anyone else in town, and sometimes you can make some coin helping her out - but she doesn't always need help. You also have a pretty nice singing voice, if you do say so yourself, and you can make at least enough for a meal and a room if you can perform - but you can only do that if that annoying pest Mikael isn't already hogging the floor, and he usually is.

If you can't find any odd jobs in town, sometimes you trek down to Riverwood and help at the mill. But that's exhausting, and like Hulda's tasks, it's reliant on the folks down there actually needing help that day - and it's more than a little frustrating to walk all the way there just to find out they don't need any workers.

You have to find something more reliable, and fast - but, while the city has been surprisingly tolerant of you despite your race, tolerating you is very different from hiring you.


>What do you have on you?

Not much ... all told, you have:
- The robes you're wearing (not going to sell those, buddy)
- A bushel of lavender that you harvested this afternoon
- A bushel of mountain flowers, of all different colors
- Moon sugar ... You technically could sell this, but you'd rather hang onto it.
- Some odds and ends of baking ingredients
- Your lute (This was a gift from your older brother, and you use it a lot of the time when you perform. You would really rather not part with this.)
- 200 gold


> Check out the Companions.
> We could see if the Companions need someone.

What?! No way! The Companions are warriors, and you are definitely not a warrior. You're not completely useless with a bow, and your sister has tried and failed to teach you swordplay for long enough that you guess something must have stuck, but you're nowhere near adventuring status. Besides, you don't even have any weapons or armor right now, and you're not going to blow the little money you have left on gear that you can't even use properly.


> Do you know were to get more exotic and pretty flowers?

That's a good point. It's hard to sell flowers when anyone could just walk for five minutes and pick the same ones themselves. But valuable flowers are valuable for a reason - they're usually tucked away in dangerous, difficult-to-access regions. If you could just get a few, you could plant them and grow them yourself ... but, as you just said, you're no adventurer.


> Alchemy

Well, yeah... that's been the backup plan for a while now. You guess that you'd been putting it off because it felt like admitting that this whole plan wasn't working. But it isn't working, so first chance you get, that's definitely something you'll have to look into.


Well... That's the rundown, you suppose. You scan the main room and find that Mikhael isn't repeatedly yowling 'Ragnar the Red' for once - you could get up and do a quick set for right now; or you could talk to someone in the inn; or you can ask Hulda if she needs any help tidying rooms or chopping wood.

serenade a nord. serenade TEN nords

Do a quick set now and maybe ask around later if Mikhael shows up.

Put most of your effort into finding a wealthy, attractive Nord to woo, but also check out some of those rarer flowers if you have time between serenades

Why do you want to hang onto the moon sugar?

If we're going to find a nord husband, we need to understand your tastes. Was there something you particularly disliked about other khajiit? A nice Cathay-raht would have done for size. Or how about orsimer? There are some good bulky fellows in all the human races, of course. And the lizards, though you won't find many of them up here.

What do you like in a guy in the non-physical senses, Lick? Since you seem to like nords, do you like their ideals? Strong, brave, tough, heroic, honourable? Are there any guys around that you can give as examples of the sort you like, even if they've demonstrated no interest in you?

>Unwelcome Name
That's because humans can't lick their own butt, so they have servants do it for them. This plays into their dominance/submission mechanic and in the end if they see someone who licks butts, they assume that person is a doormat they can freely abuse.

>Job
Is there a market in town?

Best idea: Hire Mikael to fetch useful flowers from a dangerous, far-away place by playing off his ridiculous pride. Use his absence to perform a lot to make up the loss. Plant garden, become rich.

>>696334
You can make some ravage magicka poison or a fortify conjuration potion with those ingredients.

Give it a try, you're nearby an alchemy station, just ask Hulda. Nord's love Ravage Magicka potions, since they hate mages so much. You should at least get enough capital through alchemy to open a shop/house of your own. Once you have a shop and capital, you can buy flowers and baking ingredients from others (hopefully wholesalers or desperate adventurers), never requiring yourself to go out and pick your shit for you. You may also petition the government for a loan by building a proper business plan. Just ask how Hulda got HER business going, or whoever built the mare if she inherited it. Whiterun is FILLED with businesses, everyone has advice to say! Just promise them you'll NOT build it in Whiterun if you're talking to the sweetroll lady out front.

On the Nord husband front, you've asked Hulda for advice right? As an innkeep, she WOULD know who might have a thing for your race.

Hmm, why not use alchemy as a gateway to flower business? Make some money by making potions out of more mundane stuff to eventually get your own home with a garden and then hire an adventurer to get you some rare flowers.

do a quick set

Just out of curiosity, what were your parent's names?

have you tried asking Mikhael to sing a duet with you? since he's always hogging everyone's attention, that may be a good way to at least get some of it yourself. and if all goes well, you'll outshine him enough that everyone will only want to listen to you anymore.

SINNNNNG, MY AAANGEL OF MUUUSIIIC

This one has found that the people of Skyrim follow deeds, rather than words. If khajiit wants to attract their attention, khajiit will have to perform a favor for them. Keep your keen ears out for those that attract your eye talking about their problems, and see if any of their skills will be enough to attract their attention.

You'll also need an amulet of the mother cat around your neck to let them know khajiit is looking. If you perform a favor for them, they shouldn't care about our fur.

As for suggestions... Raise capital to purchase the amulet. Eorland Graymane should be able to forge it easily enough for a few hundred septims. Perhaps take the moment to sing an ode to your favorite Companion's deeds? You may be able to earn coin and perhaps gain their favor, if you do well.

FRACTAL 2016/01/22(Fri)20:55 No. 696567 ID: 8679fe
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> Why do you want to hang onto the moon sugar?

It's not like you're super religious, but like most Khajiit, you like to partake of a little moon sugar daily. You're not sure you truly believe it's a gift from the gods like your parents do, but you do know that it tastes like home, and this is the last of your reserve. The idea of selling it off and having nothing to look forward to but charred meat and hard bread for the rest of your stay here is not appealing.

Plus, you're pretty sure moon sugar is considered a narcotic in a lot of places outside of Elsweyr, so you're not even sure you can try to sell it without getting in trouble.


> Just out of curiosity, what were your parent's names?

Your mother's name is Lifttail and your father's is Scentmark.


> What non-physical things do you like about Nords?

Hmm .... thinking about it, you realize it's gotta be the self-confidence. Behind all that backwards bullheadedness is such a strong sense of self and principles and purpose. It's really attractive! It's not like there's anything you particularly dislike about the Khajiit boys back home, but you just can't find that kind of iron home-rooted purpose anywhere but in the heart of a Nord.


> Make Ravage Magica poison at Hulda's alchemy table
> Send Mikael on dangerous errands
> One-up Mikael in bard duet
> Get Amulet of Mara

Now these are some ideas to get behind. You're gonna go snag the floor now while that fool isn't around, though! There'll be plenty of time for those things after you've made at least a little coin for the night.


You pull out your lute, tune it, and start into your set. You prefer songs from Elsweyr, but you learned pretty quickly that your audience tips much better for songs they already know, so you learned as many local ballads as you could.

The whole inn stills a little once you pluck and opening chord and the first strains of your voice ring out. Maybe you've messed up at a lot of things lately, but this is one thing that you can truly say - without boasting or self-flattery - that you're really good at.

FRACTAL 2016/01/22(Fri)20:55 No. 696568 ID: 8679fe
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You've only gotten through two songs when you notice someone..... staring at you. Through a goofy helmet. You clear your throat a little and pluck another few idle notes, waiting for him to say something, but he just keeps staring.

As a Khajiit in Skyrim, it's certainly not the first time you've been stared at, but there's something different about this guy.

He waannnntttsss you!

Liftail, Scentmark? Are you going to give any of them names that aren't sex jokes? XD

oh gosh, looks like someone has an admirer...offer him a flower in this lull between songs; if anything, it might strike up a conversation later on rather than him just staring at you through your whole set

You didn't mention your earrings in your list of possessions. I'm guessing they either have a lot of sentimental value or can't be removed?

Anyway this guy (if it is a guy - can't see much of the face but those might be sideburns) does seem interested, but it might be kind of weird if you just stop playing to talk. Ask if anyone has any requests - your helmed admirer might if they're as into you as they seem.

Offer him the chance to pick your next song.

Ask him if he has any requests!

This one thinks you are drawn to the Nords over the more humanoid breed of khajiit might be down to a taste for the exotic. No doubt your... admirer... might have similar tastes, no?

Continue your current song, but take the opportunity to show off your form to him wherever you can. Flick your tail about high, and if he continues to seem drawn, swoon close to him and offer him the chance to pick a song, with your tail loosely resting around his neck.

It may also be a good idea to see if he has an Amulet of Mara on display. Perhaps he could do the favor for khajiit, instead of the other way around if he's interested?

>>696568
Beware, this one might start changing races and sexes before your very eyes.

Aw, cute. Continue the set and either with your tail or a free hand for a moment, offer him a flower!

>Ask if anyone has any requests
>Offer him the chance to pick your next song.

Looks like someone who's had a couple of drinks already. In what looks like iron armor - it's not like any armor is super cheap, but it's one of the cheapest. Someone looking for fortune and glory, I'd say, not someone who has any of either already.

yes we should DEFINITELY offer him a flower

>>696568
He's smiiiiiiling. That means he liiiiiikes you.

Keep playing for now. Give him a chance to work up the courage to talk to you after. (Or vice versa).

launch into a passionate rendition of popular ballad 'I Want a Big Muscular Nord Man to Bench Press Me'

You're already off to a better start than that Katia girl in Cyrodiil. Keep it up!

You're right that you're at a disadvantage when it comes to selling flowers, since you're not an adventurer. But you don't just want to be a florist - you want to be a baker, too! And that's where your true advantage lies.

Elsweyr is famed for its sweet cuisine, and it's unlikely that Nords have tasted anything like Khajiit cooking. While you might have to substitute a few ingredients - these Nords just can't handle their moonsugar, and that's your personal supply, anyway - with the ingredients you have, you should be able to make a mixture of Khajiit delicacies and Skyrim classics that your potential customers would be more familiar with. You shouldn't have any trouble selling sweet rolls, even if your customers don't take to your more exotic pastries.

At some point, you should ask Hulda if you'd be allowed to do some baking in the inn's kitchen, and sell whatever you make. For now, though, it looks like you have an admirer.

FRACTAL 2016/01/25(Mon)15:09 No. 697066 ID: 8679fe
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>You didn't mention your earrings in your list of possessions.

If you remove your earrings, your piercings will close up! It would be a waste to sell them without buying replacements, which kind of defeats the purpose.


Since you're between songs, you put on your most winning smile, pluck a bloom from your flower crown, and lean down to the nord who's watching you. "Warm sands, my friend! It's good to see someone's enjoying." You offer him the flower, hoping to the moons that this is coming off as smooth rather than just ... odd. "If there's anything you'd like to hear, I would be more than happy to oblige!"

FRACTAL 2016/01/25(Mon)15:09 No. 697067 ID: 8679fe
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"Ah, wow .... In that case, I do have a request!" He gently takes the flower from your hands, then - in one fluid movement - stands and removes his helmet. Somehow, miraculously, his hair is still perfect. "Do you know The Dragonborn Comes?"


Hm. Yeesh. Well, of course you know The Dragonborn Comes. Earlier, when you said all Nords talk about is politics ... that wasn't 100% accurate. Actually, all Nords talk about is politics and the damn Dragonborn. It's been particularly bad these past few days, probably because of that alleged dragon attack down in Helgen (utter nonsense, considering that dragons aren't real.)

For all the time you've spent singing their praises, you'd kind of forgotten how irritating the Nords' superstitions could be.

Anyway. The point is that yes, you know it, but you also can't think of a single thing you're more tired of than all this Dragonborn garbage.

*laughs hysterically* you are gonna have a lot of fun with this man. And I think the dragonborn will grow on you... And even in you if he has his way!

he looks so happy though... perhaps just sing this song once and then you can sing a song you like? like a sort of reward for yourself!! after all, it would be kinda rude to ask him if he has any requests and then sing another song.

Well if you wanna make money you gotta please the crowd, so sing that song you're sick to death of.

Also yes sing the song.
bit of an ego there eh

OH NO HE'S HOOOOOOOT

Sing the song and pretend like you believe it and maybe he'll want to give you money.

You've already got the poor fools hopes up, it'd look bad if you didn't sing his song.

sing the song buddy he's cute

HES PRETTY
GO FOR IT, SING
...pretend youre singing about him. no, really, you have to look enthusiastic, no? so pretend youre singing about/serenading him which is bound to make it more bearable.

Sing it like you mean it for the hottie.

*spoiler* Wow, he's so hot he healed Lick's scar! */spoiler*

Sing it for him, Lick. It'd be rude not to after he requested it.

The Dragonborn story is totally lame, but it's still a good song. Sing it like you mean it, and get lost in the melody.

Plus, it's not like you can turn down a request from such a cute customer. There are worse things to sing about than Nord superstitions, and at least he didn't ask you to sing something political.

Sing the song, but once you're finished, maybe use it as a talking point? You could ask him why he picked that song, and go from there.

Do it before Mikhael shows up. He might ruin your chance at happiness with a hot Nord with flowing, golden hair.

>The point is that yes, you know it, but you also can't think of a single thing you're more tired of than all this Dragonborn garbage.
C'mon... he's cute. Pander to him a little. You always gotta put up with a boy's silly hobbies. Sports, cars coaches, dragonborns, whatever.

>>697067
Hey, be more openminded. Understand in order to be understood. Would you be happy if someone derided your Khajiiti worldview and disrespected the moons?

Dude's hot I'm into it.

>>697111
>>697092
agreed

just sing it, it's not a long song. try not to look too bored, you don't want to drive away your audience.
anyway, if the nords are so into all that dragonborn stuff, maybe the tips will make up for the annoyance of having to sing a song you don't like for the thousandth time?

FRACTAL 2016/02/05(Fri)13:35 No. 699275 ID: 8679fe
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Well ... okay. You have to admit that the man asking is very handsome and it's not actually that bad of a song. Sometimes you just have to roll with it, right?

So, with the most pleasant expression you can muster, you pull off what you think is a pretty good rendition. The nord apparently thinks so, too, because throughout the entire performance he has an enormous smile plastered across his face. To be honest, that's enough to completely negate any of the annoyance you were feeling before.

FRACTAL 2016/02/05(Fri)13:35 No. 699276 ID: 8679fe
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He breaks into enthusiastic applause as the last notes from your lute fade out - a little embarrassing, since he's the only one clapping, but his enthusiasm is so genuine that you shrug off the awkwardness and decide to take the opportunity to take a break and talk to him.

"So, ah .... The Dragonborn Comes, yeah?" you start off. He's beaming broadly at you, and you can't decide whether it's encouraging or unnerving. "So you're really into that whole legend, hm?"

"Oh! Hahaha! Well, I guess you could say that," he responds - and he's talking way too loudly - "but, uh, actually, I'm the Dragonborn, haha."

FRACTAL 2016/02/05(Fri)13:35 No. 699277 ID: 8679fe
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Well. You've had a good run. Nobody can say you didn't put in a good effort. But maybe it's time to pack it in.

You know. Go back home. Meet some nice merchant boy and settle down. Even if your older brother wouldn't share the family business, you could still probably pull a cushy gig as a trophy husband.

Can't say we are surprised, well ask him to prove it. The dragon born can do something involving words right?

Why such an adverse reaction? It's not like he's going to start a massacre of all inhabitants in Whiterun, exempting the children for unspecified reasons.

And if he IS the Dragonborn, he might be willing to do some errands for you out of the goodness of his heart.

Ask him for proof. Seems pretty straightforward.

Let's just roll with it. It's obvious the guy likes you and you've got the hots for him, plus he's a Nord. Plus if he is the dragon born, wouldn't that make him the most manly toughest Nord around?

>>699277
If he's the all mighty dragonborn, ask him to show you his dragon bone.

>>699284
There is that whole End of Days thing with the dragons and the slaying of kin and the dragonborn being a whirlwind of ridiculous events to rival the Hero of Kvatch. (almost)
I think the reaction is more that whether or not this is true, he just wanted to find a hot guy and some paying gigs, not become a party to apocalypse-averting mythology.
But hey, he's a nord, and he ain't a racist asshole. In fact he's kind of THE NORD if what he's saying ain't bullshit. The Divines, or uh, Alkosh and Mara are clearly looking out for you kid.

>>699306
And, uh, also possibly Sheggorath. Ironically enough.

>>699295
Agreed, and if you can win his heart, you will have the biggest, burliest Nord hubby ever!

Don't forget your promise to your sister, Drag.

>>699276
sure you are, sweetheart.

say, lick, doesnt he look a bit drunk? what with all the staring and smiling and talking loudly

Ask him how much cabbage he has on him.

It shouldn't be to hard to test his claim: ask him to demonstrate a shout for you (outside, though; he'd probably trash the place if he did it indoors).

>>699311
>>699295
YEAH
ask him if he killed any dragons? or talked to them? MAKE CONVERSATION

>but, uh, actually, I'm the Dragonborn, haha
...you're not going to get involved in some epic battle of legend that ends with the entire town destroyed right? Cause I happen to be in this town right now, and I happen to like not being destroyed.

>important question
Hey, Lickbutt, how sexy is power?

Also try not to think too hard about how this guy could effortlessly solve every problem you've ever had if he felt like it.