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File 147884330705.png - (111.05KB , 1599x899 , Wellthissucks.png )
757801 No. 757801 ID: 375986

Well.
This sucks.

Last night, you were REALLY drunk. You made some... Poor choices. You are now the proud owner of a windows ten themed pez dispenser, a oil painting of a ceiling fan, and this steam game you've never heard of called "Dungeon Quest". That's pretty much the worst title you've ever seen, but perhaps it's meant as a joke.

Or perhaps not. Steam has some really crappy games on it.

You decided to install it. May as well give it a shot before trying to get a refund.

Sadly, the game is frozen on this plain white screen.

You gave it about a minuet to load (you needed to get a cup of water anyway) but when you came back, it STILL is stuck on this screen. you click around, press a few buttons, nothing works.
Expand all images
>>
No. 757802 ID: 375986
File 147884338280.png - (802.62KB , 1599x899 , fixed.png )
757802

Oh! Looks like it finally started up. You don't get why it took so long, but whatever.
What will you do?
>>
No. 757803 ID: 750f88

Go to options. Lets see if subtitles exist.
>>
No. 757805 ID: 375986
File 147884403765.png - (808.47KB , 1599x899 , ofixed.png )
757805

You open the options.
God damn it, really? That's it?
>>
No. 757807 ID: 91ee5f

>>757805
Turn the sound on.
>>
No. 757808 ID: 375986
File 147884445709.png - (808.69KB , 1599x899 , ofixed2.png )
757808

https://listenonrepeat.com/?v=05tOdG6qnDs#Lavender_Town_in_E_Major

You turn on the music.
Not bad, not great. It sound kind of familiar.
>>
No. 757809 ID: 180f83

Good good. Next, lets start the live stream recording online. Your fans will want to watch this shitty game for laughs.
>>
No. 757810 ID: 3373e2

Go get a soda and some chips or something, If this is gonna be a shitty game might aswell have something to munch on.
>>
No. 757814 ID: 375986
File 147884553258.png - (816.28KB , 1599x899 , stramed.png )
757814

You load up twitch and OBS and start streaming. You proceed to get up and grab some chips... And a soda. Despite just having gotten a cup of water. Well, at least you won't need to get up when you run out.

By the time you get back to your computer, about ten people have joined the stream.

What do you do/say?
>>
No. 757817 ID: 398fe1

Yo what up it's yo boy cr1t1kal. I bought this game while drunk, let's play it.
>>
No. 757819 ID: 91ee5f

>>757817
This.
>>
No. 757824 ID: 375986
File 147884705474.png - (1.24MB , 1599x899 , CC3.png )
757824

"Yo what up it's yo boy Mast0r10rd. I bought this game while drunk, let's play it." You say.
You briefly consider pretending to be cr1t1kal, but you don't even watch the guy, you would have no idea what to say!

You select new game.
Looks like you need to create a character.
How strange, it's not a list of possible races, but instead, you can just type whatever you want. Same with occupation, name, and gender.

What the hell is a "soul stat?"

(You may create a character normally, or leave it up to chat to decide this for you)
>>
No. 757828 ID: 3373e2

Name : Bojack Frivtooth
Race : Gnoll
Occupation : Blacksmith
Gender : Female
Stats (Going from Top to Bottom.)
Hp : 5
Def. 3
Str. 4
SPD. 3
CHA. 4
INT. 2 (Gnolls were never known for their intelligence anyway.)
Soul Stats
DT. 4
PE.3
HA.3
EA.4
KIN.5
LOG.2
>>
No. 757829 ID: 91ee5f

Race : Lizardfolk
Occupation : Shopkeep
Gender : Female

These are literally the only things I can fill out with any sort of confidence. I'll let everyone else fill in the other things.
>>
No. 757830 ID: 9876c4

Let's stat up an Nihlist Orc Messiah named Zarathustra.
>>
No. 757839 ID: 263d8e

>>757829
This sounds entertaining.
>>
No. 757860 ID: 7d8168

ask in chat if anybody has any idea what those soul stats are short for... like... Phys Ed? Electronic Arts? try and get a bit of a laugh.

Name: William Dunter
Race: Redcap
Occupation: Murder-hobo
Gender: Dude

Stats: Take votes from stream chat. Delve deeper into the meta!

Or failing that, like...

Hp: 4
Def: 3
Str: 5
SPD: 6
CHA: 1
INT: 2

Soul Stats... seriously... anybody know what these are? Otherwise just fill 'em with with 3s and 4s. Or maybe 1-2-3-4-5-6 down the line, I dunno.
>>
No. 757861 ID: 8d65de

Name Rix Blacktooth
Race Ork
Occupation Bounty hunter
Gender Male
Hp: 5
Def: 4
Str: 6
SPD: 3
CHA: 1
INT: 2
>>
No. 757862 ID: 8d65de

>>757861
Soul Stats
DT 5
PE 4
HA 3
EA 3
KIN 3
LOG 3
>>
No. 757870 ID: 209c3d

Name: Maxwell Thromborn
Race: Kobold
Occupation: Transient
Gender: Male

HP: 2
DF: 4
STR: 2
SPD: 4
CHA: 7
INT: 2

DT: 4
PE: 2
HA: 1
EA: 1
KIN: 7
LOG: 6

I have no idea what most of these stats mean or any context of scale for them, but I'm sure Steam doesn't have any super shitty games you can render unplayable just by bad stat distribution, so I just did whatever.
>>
No. 757878 ID: b04793

Name: God
Race: god
Occupation: god
Gender: n/a

They let us pick anything, so we might as well see how far it goes. Randomize stats.
>>
No. 757886 ID: 9876c4

>>757861
Will second just to get an ork.
>>
No. 757898 ID: 594c18

Name: Alex Wu
Race: Asian-American
Occupation: Student (Mechanical Engineering/Polysci double major)
Gender: Intersex

HP: 2
DF: 2
STR: 2
SPD: 3
CHA: 5
INT: 7

DT: 3
PE: 2
HA: 2
EA: 3
KIN: 5
LOG: 6

(Guessing that LOG= logic and KIN=kinship, but I've little to no idea on the rest)
>>
No. 757954 ID: 15a025

Continue!
>>
No. 757955 ID: 375986
File 147892854396.png - (4.39KB , 100x50 , Yousure.png )
757955

Name: God
Race: god
Occupation: god
Gender: n/a

"Try again smartass." says a popup. And it proceeds to erase everything you wrote.

What the hell?
Did they program it not to be okay with certain things? Well whatever.

Chat has some interesting ideas, a sexy slime girl, a talking potato, an A.I... but nah. You eventually settle on... this.


Name : Rix Frivtooth
Race : Half-Ork/Half-Gnoll
Occupation : Blacksmith
Gender : Female
Stats
Hp. 5
Def. 3
Str. 4
SPD. 3
CHA. 4
INT. 2
Soul Stats
DT. 4
PE. 3
HA. 3
EA. 4
KIN. 5
LOG. 2

Chat's opinions on soul stats:
DT is a reference to some furry thing.
PE is the worst subject.
HA is rather funny.
EA is the worst.
KIN are annoying.
LOG is what they just dropped in the toilet.

Chat is... Not very helpful sometimes. Most of what they say is just stupid puns, or otherwise useless. One person says they think LOG might be logic and KIN kinship, another thinks that KIN might be kindness, and HA might be handiness.

You really wish you could confirm. Who makes a game like this? You can't just throw acronyms around and expect people to understand... You wind up just sort of picking at random.

After filling out the form, the game gives you this popup. Looks like you could go back and make some changes if you want... What do you do?
>>
No. 757957 ID: ba506f

well without any idea of what the hell we're getting into might as well. If nothing else we can always just start a new game when we get an idea of what everything is. This is more of a joke character just to get familiar with the game anyways.
>>
No. 757960 ID: 91ee5f

KIN could also stand for kinky or kinkiness.

The more I look at this quest, the more I get the feeling that this is one of those mysterious video games that turns you into the character you just created and then pulls you into the game and traps you there and you have to somehow escape and not die.
>>
No. 757961 ID: 375986
File 147893000781.png - (953.23KB , 1599x899 , Traitpickfixed.png )
757961

You decide to move on, after all, if you REALLY messed up, you can just make a new character!

It's a good thing none of your actions here will have serious longterm consequences!

Oh? You need to pick some traits? like... Personality traits? Or physical? well whatever.

You could leave it up to chat, or just pick some yourself.
>>
No. 757962 ID: 375986

Is the listenonrepeat link working for you guys? Because it's not for me anymore. It wont auto loop but here's the youtube version of the music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05tOdG6qnDs
>>
No. 757963 ID: 3373e2

Trait 1 : Easily Drunk (NEUTRAL/BAD Really depends on how much you drink.)
Trait 2: Good Looking (Positive Trait.)
Trait 3: Optimistic (Probably Positive Trait.)
Trait 4: Lucky (Positive.)
Trait 5: Long Hair (Neutral.)
>>
No. 757964 ID: ba506f

well alright

2 good
-surprisingly good singing voice
just like it sounds Rix actually has a nice voice. who'd a thonk'd it?

-eye for detail
hey we're a blacksmith, if we make shitty gear we're out of a job. Also helps outside of work too I guess

2 bad traits
-Jay bird
being half orc/gnoll makes wearing most clothes rather uncomfortable so Rix only wears them when she needs them and when she does wear them she is distracted since she's constantly annoyed by wearing them.

-Stubborn
once we set our mind on something it's a bitch and a half to make us change it, even if that something is a really really bad idea.

1 neutral
-intimidating
I mean you're a fucking half orc half gnoll for god sakes. That has to intimidate anyone who isn't use to you which is good for getting rid of would be robbers or stopping people from trying to screw you over on prices but really hurts when trying to get new customers or when trying to tell some scared half wit that no, we're not going to eat him or his family so don't charge us with your fucking sword THAT YOU CAME HERE FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE TO FIX! This trait is a two way street really
>>
No. 757965 ID: 91ee5f

Good Trait: Extra Strong. Being a Blacksmith lets you build up muscles more easily, which makes you a little stronger than most others. (Maybe adds an extra +1 or +2 to Str.?)

..........uh, that's all I can think of. I'll let everyone else fill in the other blanks. Man, I suck at this. -_-;;
>>
No. 757967 ID: 90f3c0

Bad: Gambler, short-tempered
Good: adroit, persuasive, cute
Neutral: Extra fluffy
>>
No. 757969 ID: ba506f

>>757968
you or someone else probably need to draw something because I'm not sure how many half orc half gnoll pictures are out their?
>>
No. 757973 ID: 4d0e33

>>757968
Open up an image search (with safesearch off, of course), search for "half-gnoll", and take the first picture that looks female and carries a big hammer that looks like it'll work equally well at the forge or for making skulls concave.
>>
No. 757975 ID: 9876c4
File 147893346522.png - (1.57MB , 800x453 , Halforcwallpaper.png )
757975

I got this. I think.
>>
No. 757976 ID: 3373e2

(More Fur Maybe.)
>>
No. 757977 ID: 91ee5f

>>757976
(This.)
>>
No. 757979 ID: 375986

You know what's fun? Realizing you have made a horrible mistake and retconning your quest! Yayyyyy...

Let's just say the last few updates (the one's I just deleted) do not, and never did, exist.
>>
No. 757980 ID: 375986

And I need to get off the computer, so you guys will need to wait a while for the next update. Sorry!
>>
No. 757985 ID: 594c18

>>757955
Now I'm disappointed we didn't take the sexy slime girl.

How about negative trait SLIME CURSE, where we turn into slime when we're stressed and thus can't do significant heavy lifting.
>>
No. 758018 ID: db0da2

Good: body is magic absorbent(again, for testing purposes), well spoken
neutral: strong sense of justice
bad: alcoholic, stubborn
>>
No. 758020 ID: 8d65de

Good Colossal
Good Lucky
Bad Coward
Bad Greedy
Neutral Blasphemous
>>
No. 758047 ID: 8d65de

Bad Cruel
>>
No. 758048 ID: 910380

Hmm, at least 2 good, at least 2 bad, and at least 1 neutral; and 8 is the maximum number of traits.

Let's take advantage of that by having 5 good traits.

Good: Extra Strong
Extra Speedy
Ambidextrous
Extra Lucky
Double Jointed

Bad: Hard of Hearing
Quick to Anger

Neutral: Always wind in my Cape
>>
No. 758056 ID: 41a5b8
File 147899520390.png - (1.22MB , 1599x899 , storypick.png )
758056

Good traits:
-Good singing voice
-Eye for detail
-Optimistic

Bad traits:
-Dislikes wearing clothing
-Stubborn
-Easily drunk

Neutral traits:
-Intimidating
-Long hair

Alright, you think this is pretty good. Another confirmation window, another continue button pressed...

Looks like you need to pick a scenario? Most of them are locked for now though.

Just so you know, if you guys have trouble deciding on anything, you can almost always ask chat. Even if it's not explicitly stated that you can.
>>
No. 758060 ID: 8d65de

That Dank wish
>>
No. 758061 ID: 3373e2

The Discovery.
>>
No. 758062 ID: 973861

go with the wish
>>
No. 758063 ID: db0da2

Let chat decide, because I have no clue what either of those means. First though, click every one of those "LOCKED" ones, what if the name of the scenario was just "LOCKED"? You wouldn't know.
>>
No. 758067 ID: 7d8168

We've got no idea what to expect from this game... so how about The Discovery! Both we and our character will have a lot to learn.
>>
No. 758068 ID: 41a5b8
File 147899754521.png - (1.21MB , 1599x899 , thefirstpannel.png )
758068

You click on one of the locked options, nothing happens.

Chat want's you to go with the wish, most of them feel that the first option must be a tutorial or something because it's at the top, and they want you to skip it so they can watch you stumble around in pain and confusion.

Chat can be rather mean sometimes.

Well, both options seem equally generic, let's go with the wish...





Your name is Rix Frivtooth. You are in your smithy, preparing to leave your hometown.
For a while now, people have been saying that the fabled "Wishstone" has appeared on a nearby mountain. Everyone knows that the wishstone is nothing but trouble, but...
It's your only hope at this point.
They say it can grant one wish, and so long as it won't cause the world to end within the next one-hundred years, it can be pretty much anything.

Why do you need it so badly?






YES! Finally you can play the freaking game...
>>
No. 758071 ID: 3373e2

Your Son had died due to a deadly plague, you miss him so.
>>
No. 758072 ID: 094652

The world is ending, and the one major organization that believes this has been labeled a murder cult and has been hunted down. The heroes of Darkness are dead and/or broken. Most of their followers believe they will get the job done anyway, and so they do nothing to re-consolidate their forces. You are one of the smarter ones.

Someone has to save the world from its ignorance. Might as well be the little people.
>>
No. 758078 ID: db0da2

Your incurable lust for world domination, of course.
>>
No. 758080 ID: 9876c4

You don't. Not really.

But without that wish you'll live and die as a footnote, a maker of swords and ploughshares in a dying blemish of a town.
Replaced and forgotten by whatever brats you pop out before death takes you.

If you're to become...more. You'll need to remake the world in your image. And for that you require the wish.
>>
No. 758081 ID: 973861

you want to be a world renown blacksmith that can craft weapons that could save or destroy entire kingdoms. You want to rise above your blood and race and be know for your work, not just as that scary looking half orc/gnoll who sometimes forgets to wear clothes.
>>
No. 758082 ID: 180f83

Your wish is to end this game.
>>
No. 758100 ID: 072427

Because someone terrible wants it.
>>
No. 758118 ID: 910380

You have a life-threatening illness. Every healer you've gone to can't do anything. Any that could cure you can't be afforded on your income. This is your only chance not die within the next year.
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