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File 124640571180.png - (3.94KB , 800x600 , 1.png )
1702 No. 1702 ID: fb5d8e

Time to begin.
It is very dark here. Hardly anything can be seen.

Please recommend an action.
Expand all images
>>
No. 1703 ID: c25f61

say hello to the lights, they look friendly
>>
No. 1704 ID: 1afd58

>>1702
Push green buttan, gently and politely.
>>
No. 1705 ID: c80cec

touch the white lights to your left.
>>
No. 1706 ID: 844dee

Shout for attention in a manly fashion.
>>
No. 1707 ID: 87583b

Say "Hi, Desu!" to Suiseiseki.
>>
No. 1711 ID: 7eda8b

Become momentarily overcome by deja vu.

Shake the feeling off. Push both lights simultaneously.

Clarify the pronunciation of your name.
>>
No. 1713 ID: fb5d8e
File 124640615737.png - (34.67KB , 800x600 , 2.png )
1713

>>1704
The lights flicker on. Mudy is in a box!

>>1705
Ouch!

>>1711
Mudy thinks that his name is pronounced mew-dee or something.
>>
No. 1715 ID: dd869d

>>1713

Push the white button.

That is a button, right?
>>
No. 1716 ID: fb5d8e
File 124640647774.png - (36.70KB , 800x600 , 3.png )
1716

>>1715
A synthesizerkeyboard pops out the wall! It is followed by a female robotic voice,
>"Select destination."
>>
No. 1718 ID: 1deb5c

Play Moonlight Sonata.
>>
No. 1719 ID: 7eda8b

Realize you're a kobold. Despair.

Push the red button and then the white circle which is not your eye.
>>
No. 1721 ID: 35cea2

>>1716

Florida!
>>
No. 1722 ID: 93c708

Press random keyboard buttons until something happens.
>>
No. 1723 ID: c25f61

>>1716
Where the party is at.
>>
No. 1724 ID: c80cec

play Through the Fire and Flames.
>>
No. 1725 ID: 7eda8b

>>1716
Oh, so that's how it is?

Type in "ARMORY."
>>
No. 1726 ID: dd869d

>>1716

Play "Heart and Soul." One of the simplest songs there is.
>>
No. 1727 ID: 844dee

>>1716
Press the demo.
>>
No. 1728 ID: 1afd58

>>1716
Mash the keyboard repeatedly and randomly, making a while cacophony of notes!
>>
No. 1729 ID: fb5d8e
File 124640711815.png - (37.87KB , 800x600 , 4.png )
1729

>>1718
Mudy plays this wonderfully with little effort - He is a bard after all!
>>
No. 1730 ID: fb5d8e
File 124640716038.gif - (209.98KB , 780x580 , 5.gif )
1730

The robotic voice says,
>"Destination accepted."

Suddenly - everything begins to rumble!
>>
No. 1731 ID: fb5d8e
File 12464071873.png - (58.10KB , 800x600 , 6.png )
1731

*PLOP*

Mudy finds himself on the balcony of a fucking tall tower.
Inside he hears a female voice singing.
>>
No. 1732 ID: 93c708

Investigate female voice.
>>
No. 1733 ID: 7eda8b

Sing along with her song, then suavely reveal yourself.
>>
No. 1735 ID: c25f61

>>1731
OH SHIT HEIGHTS! YOUR ONLY WEAKNESS!
>>
No. 1736 ID: c80cec

>>1733
this, sing along and reveal yourself like a smooth mother-noserubber.
>>
No. 1737 ID: 35cea2

>>1733

This
>>
No. 1738 ID: dd869d

>>1733
>>1732

In that order.
>>
No. 1739 ID: fb5d8e
File 124640796530.png - (107.09KB , 800x600 , 7.png )
1739

>Locked up here
>For a thousand years
>But a prince will come one day
>And when he sees me he will say

Not wasting any time, Mudy immediatly calls upon his bardic skill to join in on the (somewhat terrible) song.

>Our love will set you free
>So, will you marry mmeeeeeeee

The bathing elf falls silent.
>>
No. 1740 ID: 93c708

Apologize and avert eyes.
>>
No. 1741 ID: 7eda8b

Hand her a towel. Introduce yourself.
>>
No. 1744 ID: 35cea2

What does this have to do with Moonlight Sonata?
>>
No. 1745 ID: 844dee

>>1739
Attempt to seduce! Waggle those eyebrows or equivalent!
>>
No. 1746 ID: 7eda8b

>>1744
We can worry about details later!

Right now we have a situation in need of immediate attention!
>>
No. 1747 ID: fb5d8e
File 124640856840.gif - (132.38KB , 800x600 , 9.gif )
1747

Mudy hands her a towel from her bed, which she uses to cover herself with, and he introduces himself in the most suave way possible.

The elf is silent for a moment, her eyes fixated on the little creature before her.
Then she speaks,
"Are you my prince?"
>>
No. 1748 ID: 1afd58

>>1747
Baby I'm whatever you want me to be. Nice nose. Ever... rub it?
>>
No. 1749 ID: 4aa777

>>1747
"I'm anything you want, baby."
>>
No. 1750 ID: dd869d

>>1747

"Looks like it, my dear."
>>
No. 1751 ID: c80cec

"Royalty, I am not. But if it is love and freedom you desire, I have those in abundance."
>>
No. 1752 ID: 7eda8b

Don't directly answer the question.

Say "I'm Mudy."
>>
No. 1754 ID: fb5d8e
File 124640921322.png - (110.93KB , 800x600 , 10.png )
1754

>"I am anything you want me to be, my dear."
Mudy says in the most seductive tone he can manage.
The elf leans over, inspecting Mudy up close.
>"But majesty, thou art dressed in rags and scented of vermin! And a witchess hath tranformed thee into a horrible monster."
>>
No. 1755 ID: 93c708

Use bard skills to convince her that you are an incredibly handsome and manly prince.
>>
No. 1756 ID: c01408

>>1754
Tell her your curse can only be lifted by a beautiful virgin princess.
She must [physical act here] you.

Personally I recommend "rub noses with".
>>
No. 1757 ID: 7eda8b

>>1754
>scented of vermin!
"About that. Could I use your bathtub after you're done with it?"
>>
No. 1758 ID: 1afd58

>>1754
Open mouth, show off the multiple rows of pointed teeth.

Does this look monstery to you?
>>
No. 1759 ID: 7eda8b

>>1758
.... Yes?
>>
No. 1760 ID: fb5d8e
File 124640992170.png - (106.66KB , 800x600 , 11.png )
1760

Mudy tells her the dreadful story of his curse, and how it can only be lifted by a beautiful virgin princess. He adds in a part about true love and destiny.
The princess is devouring his story, her expression growing more delighted by the second.
Just as Mudy works up the courage for the risque part about noserubbing, she interrupts him,
>"Then we must be married at once! Oh, dear prince Mudy, I feel as if I had loved thee for all mine life. Thou must be introduced to mine father, the king, and present all of your land, underlings and riches so he may give us his approval!"
>>
No. 1762 ID: 1afd58

>>1760
>marriage

RUN AWAY, MUDY. RUN AWAY AND TAKE HER +Kobold bone mirror+ WITH YOU!
>>
No. 1763 ID: dd869d

>>1760

Well...shit.

Tell her your realm has been usurped by your most trusted advisor, and you no longer have possession of said riches and underlings and what-not. Maybe she'll buy it.
>>
No. 1764 ID: c01408

>>1760
Tell her you have no underlings or belongings of any kind. Your worldly possessions were destroyed by the witchess, obviously. All you have is your song of love and the passion burning in your heart.

Her father, though a proud and noble man as he must be, cannot shackle their love, which must soar free and pure like a beautiful dove.

And if that's not enough for her, she's welcome to tell him to kiss off and stay where she is in this tower for the next few hundred years.
>>
No. 1765 ID: 93c708

Tell her to go fetch her father while you wait in her room. When she leaves, loot crown and other valuables, then flee.
>>
No. 1766 ID: 7eda8b

>>1764
Seconding this.
>>
No. 1767 ID: fb5d8e
File 124641045679.png - (107.50KB , 800x600 , 12.png )
1767

>>1763
Mudy laments about how his once great kingdom has been usurped by most trusted advisor after the curse fell upon him. He tells her about once glorious streets are now filled with tears and feces.
The princess reaches out to comfort Mudy, obviously distressed by the story. Mudy's heart beats a little faster.
>"Oh dearest prince, what horrors have fallen upon thou. The king will not approve of prince without a land.. But, I shall, most beloved fiancee. I have faith in thee, and I know that thou will succeed in thine journey to regain control of your country. I just know thy will."
>>
No. 1768 ID: 1afd58

>>1767
Hey STUPID. Your towel is getting all wet when you keep going down into the water again.
>>
No. 1769 ID: c01408

>>1767
Excellent. Put on a brave face, tell her that her love is the only sustenance you need, the only drive which is required to propel you forward into this noble duty.
Tell her that her kind words are the balm which soothes your pained soul, and with her love buffeting you like the strength of a million men, your victory is certain.

Then go out and get yourself a fucking KINGDOM.
>>
No. 1770 ID: 7eda8b

Quest Objective Received: Acquire a Principality.

Don't ask her to come with us. If she'd agree we'd be trying to protect her and she might realize we have no clue where we are or what's going on.

Sigh, look sad, but offer her a charming smile and ask if we can at least borrow her bathtub and maybe a very small set of better clothes.
>>
No. 1772 ID: 35cea2

Hold on to your asses, because SHIT JUST GOT EPIC
>>
No. 1773 ID: 1afd58

A thief has stolen a *Dwarven Kingdom of Toilgears*!
>>
No. 1774 ID: dd869d

>>1767

Kiss the princess.
>>
No. 1777 ID: fb5d8e
File 124641207273.gif - (302.79KB , 800x600 , 13.gif )
1777

>>1769
Mudy informs the princess that her that her love is the only sustenance he need, the only drive which is required to propel him forward into this noble duty.
He tells her that her kind words are the balm which soothes his pained soul, and with her love buffeting him like the strength of a million men, his victory is certain.

The princess, a red glow on her face, leans over,
>"It's dangerous to go alone. Take this."
>>
No. 1778 ID: c01408

Oh, but before you leave, ask her one last thing:

If, when this quest is completed -- if, when you fight nobly in her name, wrest your country back under your control, vanquish the evil forces, amass a treasure simply for her glory, and shower her in the actions of your true and undying love -- if after all these love-borne toils have been completed, your curse is not lifted, and your noble soul remains trapped in this form... what then?

Would she, at day's end, still turn away from you and shun your visage, forsaking you forever despite your noblest intentions, proving love shallow, as that of a cold and wintry pond?
Or would she love you still? Does your love instead run deep and wild as the greatest of rivers, a torrent of passion and undying devotion that does not heed boundaries and obstacles, but instead roars and roils across them, pouring over the blockades of fate which seek to dam your progress and emerge victorious at last at the sea of love?

This, you must know, before even step one can be taken.
>>
No. 1779 ID: fb5d8e
File 124641212383.png - (106.89KB , 800x600 , 14.png )
1779

Stumbling away, Mudy stutters a mangled farewell to the princess and exits the way he entered.
>>
No. 1780 ID: fb5d8e
File 124641218031.png - (57.63KB , 800x600 , 15.png )
1780

END OF PROLOGUE

MAIN QUEST ADDED:
>GAIN KINGDOM

MUDY HAS SUCCUMBED TO ILLNESS:
>LOVE
>>
No. 1781 ID: fb5d8e

>>1778
Oh, aw, sorry, I missed that one.
>>
No. 1782 ID: 1afd58

This is adorable and the noserubbing was just perfect. Excellent show, Reaver old bean.
>>
No. 1783 ID: 7eda8b

Goddamn!
>>
No. 1787 ID: fb5d8e
File 124642069327.png - (42.56KB , 800x600 , 16.png )
1787

>BEGIN CHAPTER 1
>"THE TOWER"
>>
No. 1788 ID: fb5d8e
File 124642072487.png - (55.47KB , 800x600 , 17.png )
1788

Mudy is stuck on the balcony!
>>
No. 1789 ID: 1afd58

>>1788
Jump, catch yourself with the ground!
>>
No. 1790 ID: 7eda8b

Can we climb or slide down? Examine surroundings for a good way down.

This will be hugely inappropriate if we have to go back inside. If we do, don't forget to ask >>1778 however.
>>
No. 1791 ID: bde1b8

>>1788
Use curtain as parachute.
>>
No. 1792 ID: fb5d8e
File 124642133611.gif - (398.24KB , 740x600 , 18.gif )
1792

>>1790
>>
No. 1794 ID: bde1b8

>>1792
...Use curtain as parachute.
>>
No. 1795 ID: 8ce2bf

>>1792
PICK A FLOWER AND GIVE IT TO THE PRINCESS
GIVE HER A LITTLE PRICK WITH IT AND TELL HER SHE BETTER GET USED TO IT
>>
No. 1796 ID: c80cec

>>1792
Just climb down the stalk of flowers, talking to the girl again would totally be awkward.
>>
No. 1797 ID: 1e1932

>>1792

Climb down that sucker.
>>
No. 1798 ID: 7eda8b

We still don't know her name and we still don't know if she'll love us if we don't turn human.

... but that's not a good enough reason to fuck up our exit!!!

Climb down vines. If possible, leave a flower on the balcony.
>>
No. 1799 ID: fb5d8e
File 124642264250.gif - (251.54KB , 800x600 , 19.gif )
1799

Ooooh, he just can't go back inside! After that noserub.. He can just feel his heart in his throat thinking about!
No matter what the height, he's going to climb down this wobbly spikey stalk! ..But he's gonna keep his eyes closed.

Suddenly he hears a voice below him.
>>
No. 1800 ID: fb5d8e
File 124642274644.png - (29.25KB , 800x600 , 20.png )
1800

>"What?! What vile monster is this? What art thou doing here, vermin? If thou has done anything to mine future bride princess Silvermoone, by Silvanus' longbow, I shalt..!"
>>
No. 1802 ID: 1afd58

>>1800
Kill it dead!
>>
No. 1803 ID: 7eda8b

"Hail and well met, fellow humble suitor! I am Mudy. I've not harmed your princess, and I'm not looking for trouble. If you could show me the simplest way off of the palace premises, I'll just be on my way for now."
>>
No. 1804 ID: 1e1932

>>1800

I have a bad feeling about this...

Recount your tale to him. If we're lucky, he'll be just as big of a sucker as the princess was.
>>
No. 1805 ID: 8ce2bf

Seduce him. He's seen up your skirt, it should be easy.
>>
No. 1806 ID: 7eda8b

>>1804
>Recount your tale to him.

No! He'll confront the princess about it and try to talk her out of buying it.

No, he should only get fragmented tales, not our whole masterpiece.
>>
No. 1809 ID: fb5d8e
File 124642350940.png - (29.28KB , 800x600 , 21.png )
1809

>>1803
>>1804
>"Hail and well met, fellow humble suitor!"
, Mudy begins,
>"I am Mudy. I've not harmed your princess, and I'm not looking for trouble. If you could show me the simplest way off of the palace premises, I'll just be on my way for now."

>"Fellow suitor?!"
, the elf responds,
>"What mockery is this?"

Mudy repeats the story of how he lost his kingdom and was placed under a curse, this time placing more emphasis on heroic battles and self-sacrifice.
The elf grinds his teeth.
>"By the oaktrees of Goldleaf forest, I just spend the entire afternoon climbing up this stalk, but my code of chivalry prevents me from denying a man in need! The golden hair of Elonis, someone please kill me!
>Very well then. Hop on my back and I'll take you down to the gate."
>>
No. 1810 ID: 130228

Ask him if he might direct you to the nearest armory so you might 'acquire' weaponry and accoutrement.
>>
No. 1811 ID: 7eda8b

Hot damn, I was wrong. It worked!

"If you'll hold still, I could climb past you. I could use some directions, though."
>>
No. 1812 ID: 1afd58

>>1809
Suggest that your nose is bigger and thus more well suited to the vigorous rubbing that such a princess requires.
>>
No. 1813 ID: bde1b8

Compliment his kindness and valor.
>>
No. 1814 ID: 7eda8b

>>1812
There'll be time for insults later. Like, after we have some money. And not to someone we need help from.
>>
No. 1815 ID: 1e1932

>>1813

This. And also thank him for understanding.
>>
No. 1817 ID: fb5d8e
File 12464247687.png - (54.00KB , 800x600 , 22.png )
1817

Mudy compliments the elf on his kindness and valor. His eyes twinkle for a moment, but he quickly falls back into his grump at the request of a blacksmith.
>"FINE!"

He grabs Mudy and pulls him down the stalks, through the courtyard, out the gate and down busy streets and markets. Mudy is shaken and stirred, bumping his head more than once.

At the end of the ride they have arrived in a silent dark alley, where the elf tosses Mudy on the ground in front of a small stand.
>"There! Thine blacksmith! All the way on the other part of town! YES there are others, but looking at thou, thou wouldnt be able to afford anything, so taking thou there would be against mine code of chivalry. So HAVE A GOOD DAY, SIRE!"
, and he stomps off.


When Mudy recovers, he sees the dwarf sitting by the stand. The dwarf is gazing into the distance with an absent mind.
Next to it are several items on display, with a chest underneath.
>>
No. 1818 ID: 1afd58

>>1817
He's got that creepy thousand yard beard. :(
>>
No. 1819 ID: c80cec

Let's dust our self off and... uh... see if we have any money at all.
>>
No. 1820 ID: bde1b8

Take dagger, see if he notices. If he does, ask how much it costs. If he does not, run.
>>
No. 1821 ID: 130228

Check for any form of money.
Try talking to the Dorf.
Bring up how nice the elephants are this time of year.
>>
No. 1822 ID: 7eda8b

Check inventory.

Say "Hi. How goes it?"
>>
No. 1823 ID: c01408

>>1817
Do we have any gold?

If not, it's time to earn these items with some kobold cunning, Native-American-Mythology style.
Challenge the proud Dwarf to a beard-growing competition, bragging you can grow a beard to dwarf his any day. Then, while he is distracted by his preening, tie his ankles together with his beard or something then run off with the goods you need.
>>
No. 1826 ID: fb5d8e
File 124642562075.png - (40.94KB , 800x600 , 23.png )
1826

Mudy dusts himself off, quickly checking his pockets doing so-- No pockets? He check his pouch-- No pouch? NO INVENTORY?!

He takes the dagger from the stand, to see if it attracts the dorf's attention. It doesn't.

>"Hi, how goes it?"
, Mudy says.
The dorf sighs.
>"Nay good, me lad. Tis 'ard times. Me brethren been outsellin' me fer weeks, while me stock got stolen left 'n right. Now ah've been pushed back ta this alleyway where ah'll ne'er sell me stuff. Aye, lad. Tis 'ard times."
>>
No. 1828 ID: 1afd58

>>1826
Offer to use your NATURAL CUTEBOLD THIEVERY to help steal a bunch of stuff from his competitors.
>>
No. 1830 ID: 7eda8b

"If you don't mind asking, what's so different about your equipment that you can't sell it? Perhaps I can help."

Are you any good with that dagger? Anything else looking particularly appealing? Or even like it would fit?
>>
No. 1831 ID: 1e1932

>>1826

Tell him you can use your bard skills to attract customers.

In exchange for a small cut of the profits.
>>
No. 1832 ID: 7eda8b

Also: We may need to whip up a short version of our story. Maybe give ourselves a title.

I was thinking we could also whip up a song about this blacksmith, to increase sales and win his thanks.
>>
No. 1833 ID: c80cec

>>1826
Play with the dagger while you inquire as to why his brothers are selling better than him. Also ask if he knows anything about the thieves who have been stealing from him.
>>
No. 1834 ID: fb5d8e
File 124642614282.png - (41.60KB , 800x600 , 24.png )
1834

"Ah, lad. It all ain't be as simple ta explain 'n a sentence."
The dorf sighs again, looking up.
"But ah appreciate yer offer ta he-- WHAT?! A 'BOLD? GIT 'WAY FROM ME STUFF, VARMINT!"
The dorf bellows with rage as it struggles to get its hefty frame off the ground.
>>
No. 1835 ID: 1e1932

>>1834

Return the daggar to the stand, and explain that you aren't here to steal from him, and that you can help him with his business problem.
>>
No. 1836 ID: 1afd58

>>1834
You are a lone kobold. He is a raging dorf.

RUN THE FUCK AWAY.
>>
No. 1837 ID: 7eda8b

Cross your arms and stand your ground, but don't threaten him with the dagger. If we're going to be a prince, we'd better start acting like it.

"A curse made me like this. I've got nothing but rags, courage, and my skill to win back a kingdom. I would like to help you with your business in exchange for equipment and perhaps pocket money to begin my quest."
>>
No. 1838 ID: c80cec

>>1834
do
>>1835
While insisting that you want to help her. If she won't back down, then running may be a good idea.
>>
No. 1840 ID: fb5d8e
File 124642678661.png - (42.74KB , 800x600 , 25.png )
1840

Mudy returns the dagger to the stand, then crosses his arms for a manly face-off!
>"A curse made me like this. I've got nothing but rags, courage, and my skill to win back a kingdom. I would like to help you with your business in exchange for equipment and perhaps pocket money to begin my quest."

But the dorf sounds a rumbling laugh in response.
>"Who would believe sucha story? Ha! Ye'd 'ave ta be the dumbest, daftest, stupidest, black lotus-stricken pansy lame-bred ever!"
>>
No. 1841 ID: 7eda8b

Say "Fine. You don't have to believe me. So what's so wrong with your wares that no one wants them, anyway?"
>>
No. 1842 ID: 4aa777

>>1840
"True story or not, you still look like you could use some help, and I'm here to offer my assistance."
>>
No. 1845 ID: fb5d8e
File 124642777279.png - (41.28KB , 800x600 , 26.png )
1845

Mudy insists,
>"True story or not, you still look like you could use some help, and I'm here to offer my assistance. What's so wrong with your wares that no one wants them, anyway?"

The dorf is slightly taken aback by this dedication.
>"Hurmph? Bah, ah bet ye just want part o' me profits! ... Ah, what's ta use. Ah'm not a blacksmith, lad, ah'm a fighter. An adventurer. Ah can't sit in ah forge fer hours. Ah can make a few good items ta be used, but ah can't make stock upon stock ta sale. Bah, take ta damn knife. Ah'm leavin' ta city."
>>
No. 1846 ID: 130228

Invite her to join you on your quest. If she's leaving the city anyway, what has she got to lose? She'll get to fight, you'll get weaponry and whatnot, and.. and... well, that's it.
>>
No. 1847 ID: 7eda8b

"So what's your name, anyway? And where are you headed? We could travel together. A dwarf and a kobold in a party would certainly confuse potential baddies."
>>
No. 1848 ID: 1e1932

>>1846

This.
>>
No. 1850 ID: 7eda8b

Also, what would it take to get a very small suit of armor made? At least a breastplate or boiled leather chest covering.
>>
No. 1851 ID: fb5d8e
File 124642856151.png - (41.97KB , 800x600 , 27.png )
1851

>"So what's your name, anyway? And where are you headed? We could travel together. A dwarf and a kobold in a party would certainly confuse potential baddies."
, Mudy begins. He goes on to say that she has nothing to lose, and even suggests for her to join his noble quest!
This time, the dorf doesn't seem so amused by the lie.
She strokes her beard in thought.
>"Nothing left ta lose, eh.."
, she mumbles for a moment.
>"Ta name's Axebeard Goldwomb, 'n ah dun have a destination right now.. Yer quest sounds intarestin'.... but how do ah know ye won't stab me in ta back at ye first sign 'o trouble? Yer still a boldling afta all."
>>
No. 1852 ID: 130228

Point out that, as she's just noted, you are, at the moment, just a kobold, and quite likely unable to harm such a hardy dorf, even if you were so inclined. Also point out that stabbing fellow party members tends to be non-conducive to questing, especially when said party member is useful.
>>
No. 1853 ID: fb5d8e
File 124642915672.png - (41.81KB , 800x600 , 28.png )
1853

Mudy uses his amazing logical insight to convince the dorf that not only he is too small and insignificant to hurt the hardy dorf, but it would also be non-conducive to questing, especially when said party member is useful.

The dorf is struck silent.
>"I.. hm.. Ye make a good point, lad."
She remains completely silent, unmovable like a rock for minutes.

>"Very well,"
she finally states,
>"Ah'll join ye. Pick what ye need from me wares for ah'll be dumpin' it anyway. Ah've had enough o' this bargainin' and city streets. Tis' time fer ye open roads and swingin' me good ol' axe!"
>>
No. 1854 ID: caf9c5

>>1853
That armor up there on the left, without the shoulders looks like it might fit.

That dagger could be good too.
>>
No. 1855 ID: 130228

Don't forget to ask what's in the chest.
>>
No. 1857 ID: fb5d8e
File 124643018721.png - (34.78KB , 800x600 , 29.png )
1857

>AXEBEARD GOLDWOMB HAS JOINED THE PARTY

>GAINED 1 THIEVES' DAGGER

>GAINED 1 HALFLING LEATHER CHESTPLATE
>>
No. 1858 ID: 1e1932

>>1857

POSE AS A TEAM, CUZ SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
>>
No. 1859 ID: bde1b8

Ask what's in the chest. If its nothing we need, out of town we shall go.
>>
No. 1860 ID: fb5d8e
File 124643150054.png - (35.55KB , 800x600 , 30.png )
1860

>END OF CHAPTER 1
>>
No. 1861 ID: fb5d8e

>>1859
There was nothing important in it.
>>
No. 1862 ID: 1e1932

>>1860

Reaver, you are awesome. <3
>>
No. 1863 ID: 670155

Just stopped by to see whats go- holy shit who dropped all this awesome on the board.
>>
No. 1864 ID: 00e62b

Really awesome so far Reaver.
Stupid timezones and need to sleep.
>>
No. 1868 ID: fb5d8e
File 124647060823.png - (29.20KB , 800x600 , 31.png )
1868

>BEGIN CHAPTER TWO
>"THE FOOL"
>>
No. 1869 ID: fb5d8e
File 124647065229.png - (28.13KB , 800x600 , 32.png )
1869

>"So.. Mudy, was it? Where be yer kingdom anyway?"
>>
No. 1870 ID: a5ce01

>>1869
Forest of Dread, of course.
>>
No. 1871 ID: 1deb5c

Mt. Death of course!
>>
No. 1872 ID: c01408

>>1869
The Forest of Bad Things.
Alternately, the Horrible Dungeon of Misfortune.
This is, of course, assuming we're just now leaving Pleasantown.

Or am I thinking of something else
>>
No. 1873 ID: 35cea2

I say Fort Fear. You make it into your castle!
>>
No. 1874 ID: c25f61

gotta start with the forest, the other things sound too high-level for you...
>>
No. 1875 ID: caf9c5

>>1872
R.I.P RQ
>>
No. 1878 ID: 7eda8b

"Well, I can hardly just march straight into it and expect to take it back by force of noodly arms, can I? The forest sounds like a good place to start. I bet lots of witches live there."
>>
No. 1879 ID: 1e1932

>>1873

This.
>>
No. 1880 ID: c01408

>>1878
In b4 the dwarf is turned into a kobold and the two of you elope, entirely forgetting about the princess.
>>
No. 1887 ID: bffa2a

>>1869

Mt.Death sounds like a natural enviroment for our Dwarven friend.
>>
No. 1891 ID: fb5d8e
File 124647592081.png - (46.84KB , 800x600 , 33.png )
1891

"This way!"
, Mudy exclaims, and sets off towards the FOREST OF DREAD.
They soon enter the shadow of the canopy, surrounded by delightful forest tunes. But then, they are confronted with a terrible scene!
Two men, cloaked in black with frightening masks, armed with fully loaded repeating crossbows, stand over the corpse of an innocent peasant, his wagon of apples still behind him.
>"Zis apple is very gud! Vhat a shame zat ze peasants can have zem."
, one of the men says.
>"Don't worry, bruder. Soon zis land vhil be ours as vhell. Noone has yet noticed ze building of our massive army. Vhe shall swarm ze land uninterrupted and claims zese apples ours!"
>"Wonderful, bruder! For ze Skullking!"
>>
No. 1894 ID: 00e62b

>>1891
Mudy, use your thief skills to flank them, and create some kind of distraction.
Goldwomb, bullrush them when they are distracted.
>>
No. 1895 ID: a5ce01

>>1891
Oh god, crossbow wielding Nazis.
Feast on delicious apples while they are talking among themselves.
>>
No. 1899 ID: 7eda8b

The Skullking! Of course! Grr!

Whisper to Axebeard to throw you at one of the nazis and then axe the other. Knife the one you're thrown at.
>>
No. 1908 ID: fb5d8e
File 12464801463.png - (47.05KB , 800x600 , 34.png )
1908

Mudy carefully sneaks towards the wagon while the skullmen are occupied with themselves.

>GAINED 1 APPLE

The skullmen continue their meaningless conversation, untill suddenly one falls silent.
>"Vhat? Vhy so silent, bruder?"
>"I am recieving a message on ze magical earring, bruder. Vhe are to return to ze fortress immediatly."
>"Already? Vhat a disappointment. I enjoy zese woods so much more, bruder."
>"Ja, me too, bruder, but ze Skullking wishes it."
>"For ze Skullking!"
"For ze Skullking."
>>
No. 1912 ID: 00e62b

>>1908
We should follow them in a secure distance and find the secret headquarter of the Skullkingâ„¢.
Actually Mudy should follow them, I doubt Axbeard is the sneaky type.
>>
No. 1913 ID: c80cec

use KOBOLD DANGER SENSE to see if we think Mudy and Axebeard can take them. If so, then STRIKE WITH THE WRATH OF THE RIGHTEOUS!
>>
No. 1917 ID: fb5d8e
File 124648135891.png - (42.13KB , 800x600 , 35.png )
1917

The nimble and petite bard explains a set of sneaky plans to follow the men back to their base to the dorf, who agrees that she would not be very succesful at sneaking. However, she asks Mudy what she's supposed to do in the mean time - assuming he doesn't want her to abandon him.

The skullmen take their leave.
Mudy breathes a little easier for now. Those repeating heavy crossbows looked mighty dangerous.
>>
No. 1918 ID: 00e62b

Of course we don't want her to abandon him.
She can follow us in a even securer distance.
>>
No. 1919 ID: c80cec

>>1918
This, we can mark trees with our dagger to make sure Axebeard can follow our trail from out of sight.
>>
No. 1921 ID: 3479be

>>1917
Remove arrows from dead guy. Can never have enough pointy things, you know.
>>
No. 1926 ID: 7eda8b

>>1919
Good idea.
>>
No. 1927 ID: fb5d8e
File 124648346753.png - (31.68KB , 800x600 , 36.png )
1927

Mudy tells Axebeard to follow a long distance behind by looking for marked trees.
As he follows the skullmen he makes neat little crosses in several trees with his dagger.
The men don't notice him at all.
>>
No. 1929 ID: 7eda8b

This evil place might be as good a kingdom as any.

Don't call it yet. Maybe they'll be threatening some other kingdom that can be ours.
>>
No. 1931 ID: 00e62b

>>1927
Nice definition of secure you've got there, but keep going. They are probably almost blind and deaf in their stupid skull helmets.
>>
No. 1946 ID: fb5d8e
File 124648849724.png - (30.90KB , 800x600 , 37.png )
1946

After walking for atleast an hour the men and Mudy finally reach the edge of the forest going down a rocky slope. Behind it lure the Endless Wastes... with a stronghold in it!
The menacing spikey and skull-domed building looms over the horizon, dwarfing the Mountains of Terror. Its courtyard is teeming with blackcloaked men, most of them practicing their martial abilities.
>>
No. 1953 ID: c01408

We may be brave, but this is too dangerous a threat to confront directly. We are but a simple kobold.

Wait for Axebeard to catch up and sit with her to devise a scheme. See if she has any suggestions. If not, propose an infiltration: these men do not seem particularly bright, their weapons are powerful, easily-wielded, and require little strength to operate, and finally their costumes are fully-concealing. They're perfect for the aspiring saboteur or minimal stature.
>>
No. 1957 ID: fb5d8e
File 124649096228.png - (31.76KB , 800x600 , 38.png )
1957

Axebeard joins Mudy shortly. After viewing the situation she says that she could take down one or two in the right situation, but a straight forward charge won't do much good - sadly, this is her strength, so it will be tricky.
Mudy suggests that if they can somehow get their hands on such a costume, they could infiltrate the outpost to get to the bottom of the threat. Axebeard reluctantly agrees, if Mudy promises to take on all of the social interaction.
Now there's just the trouble of how to get those costumes.
>>
No. 1958 ID: da4b33

>>1957
Wait for another patrol to leave, then shank them both and steal their shit.
>>
No. 1961 ID: 4abe6f

>>1957
This is going to involve standing on her shoulders, isn't it...
>>
No. 1962 ID: fb5d8e
File 124649177544.png - (36.36KB , 800x600 , 39.png )
1962

Axebeard and Mudy get into ambush positions. They can easily jump out and strike at any moment.
Mudy clears his throat. This is making him quite nervous!

Two new skullmen walk up the hill, like predicted. They chatter loudly about how much they enjoy the woods.

Axebeard suddenly throws a whisper to Mudy,
>"Me lad, d'ye 'ave any good ideas on 'ow we're gonne take 'em down?"
>>
No. 1964 ID: 4ab52d

>>1962
Uhh... tickle them into submission and stuff their mouths with rocks?
>>
No. 1965 ID: 099247

Exploit our short stature, tackle their legs as they pass. Stab/Bludgeon them when they're down.
>>
No. 1966 ID: c80cec

>>1962
Gank them when they pass by. Don't let them use their ranged weapons to their advantage. They should go down before they have a chance to draw their melee weapons.
>>
No. 1970 ID: c01408

>>1962
Wait till they're between you two, then have Mudy slice open the Achilles's tendons of one of them, promptly dropping him to the ground and crippling him in a move that requires minimal physical strength.
The second his companion turns around to see what happened, Axebeard should jump out and bury the axe in his skull. She should be able to handle that easily.
Then you can dispatch the man on the ground while he's fumbling for his weapon / reeling from the impossible pain of having his leg muscles snap up to the back of his knee like a cartoon blind.
>>
No. 1973 ID: 7eda8b

Yeah. Just as they pass, go for the tendons.
>>
No. 1975 ID: fb5d8e
File 124649713986.png - (41.21KB , 800x600 , 40.png )
1975

Mudy and Axebeard use their shortness to their advantage and tackle the skullmen!.. Though it's more like Axebeard plows right into one, and Mudy clings on to the leg of the other, only just taking him offbalance. But it's enough for them to go down!
>"Hey..! WOoah woaah woaaahh--!"
*THONK*
>>
No. 1976 ID: fb5d8e
File 124649715369.png - (28.13KB , 800x600 , 41.png )
1976

..This is not working out very well.
>>
No. 1977 ID: fb5d8e
File 124649719180.png - (28.14KB , 800x600 , 42.png )
1977

Magnificent! With their powers combined, Mudy and Axebeard have perfected their disguise, making them practically invisible.
They're ready to infiltrate!
>>
No. 1978 ID: 7eda8b

Go inside and give it a shot. Let's try to talk to the commander so we can kill him.

Don't forget the accent.
>>
No. 1979 ID: da4b33

Don't forget to take a crossbow
>>
No. 1983 ID: c01408

>>1979
Yes, Mudy should have the crossbow, Axebeard should hold onto her axe. For emergencies.
>>
No. 1986 ID: fb5d8e
File 124649987745.png - (21.05KB , 800x600 , 43.png )
1986

Mudy carries the hefty crossbow with him to complete the disguise. It is quite too large and heavy for him to fire properly, so it's an accesory at best.
Underneath him Axebeard carries her beloved axe with her, just in case.

They head down the slope and through the gates without a hitch. They are now within the walls of the camp. Around them the skullman are hard at work.

Now the question is, how will they find the commander?
>>
No. 1987 ID: 7eda8b

Look for the biggest office with the best decorations, the most guards, and the highest concentration of skull emblems.
>>
No. 1989 ID: fb5d8e
File 124650354722.png - (53.19KB , 800x600 , 44.png )
1989

Mudy and Axebeard wander around the campsite and the large building for quite a while, untill finding themselves in an area that is strangely quiet.
A large door, decorated with a million skulls explains why.
Mudy and Axebeard go through, and there he is; A totally creepy dude.

>"Hmm? Ja, what? What can zis field marshal do for you, my little pumpkins?"
, it hisses with a hollow voice.
>>
No. 1993 ID: 7eda8b

Tell him that we've found vitally important information, that we must tell him in private. No one but him can be trusted with it.

When he sends the guards away, lean close and stab him in the throat.
>>
No. 1994 ID: fb5d8e
File 124650543224.gif - (11.28KB , 800x600 , 45.gif )
1994

>"My precious little pumpkin...sssss..."

>END OF CHAPTER 2
>>
No. 2002 ID: 220607

>>1994

Aww, shit. He's a real skeleton, isn't he? Probably a Lich.

If that's the case, we're screwed.
>>
No. 2011 ID: fb5d8e
File 124656596370.png - (32.85KB , 800x600 , 46.png )
2011

>BEGIN CHAPTER 3
>"THE MAGICIAN"
>>
No. 2013 ID: fb5d8e
File 124656637843.png - (74.82KB , 800x600 , 47.png )
2013

The marshal leans back in his chair.
>"I can not believe zose dumbkopfs could not see through zis disguise. Does ze Skullking really expect me to be able to do my work like zis?"
He sounds a hollow sigh, like someone blowing air through a tube.
>"Oh well.. Why don't you tell me somezing interesting before I destroy you?"
>>
No. 2014 ID: c01408

>>2013
...uh
uh
uh
uh
YOUR FLY'S OPEN
>>
No. 2015 ID: fb5d8e
File 124656772972.png - (75.29KB , 800x600 , 48.png )
2015

>"Really? You come face to face with ze greatest lich alive and zat is all you have?"
The marshal is obviously not impressed.
>"You must have somezing to amuse me with before you die."
>>
No. 2016 ID: da4b33

>>2013
Tell him your princely tale. It's worked so far..
>>
No. 2017 ID: 8ce2bf

Rub your nose to where his used to be.
>>
No. 2018 ID: a3ae12

>>2015
Propose to play his rib cage like a xylophone, pretend all the other skeletons loved it.
>>
No. 2019 ID: fb5d8e
File 124656854039.png - (72.49KB , 800x600 , 49.png )
2019

Mudy repeats his tragic tragic story to the lich, lamenting the loss of an empire and the betrayel of a friend. The lich listens intently.
He nods once Mudy finishes.
>"Ah, I see, I see. Well, don't worry, zat probably wasn't your real advisor. The skullking enjoys putting shapeshifters in ze place of important figures and weaken a country from within. Must be a load of ze mind, ja?
>Well, if zat was all..."
>>
No. 2020 ID: 1e1932

>>2019

AXEBEARD: Bust out of that disguise and cut that fucker's head off!
>>
No. 2021 ID: a3ae12

>>2020
Yeah this. Surprise whirlwind attack, he'll never see it coming.
>>
No. 2022 ID: 4abe6f

>>2021
What about the guys right there with the crossbows?
>>
No. 2024 ID: afc7ff

>>2022
Dwarves are sturdy fuckers. She'll live.
>>
No. 2025 ID: a3ae12

>>2022
I said WHIRLWIND attack, and they probably barely see with their masks on.
>>
No. 2026 ID: fb5d8e

We're not playing D&D 3.5, guys.
>>
No. 2027 ID: 4abe6f

And there's still the problem of the desk in the way.
>>
No. 2028 ID: a3ae12

>>2025
I was actually thinking about Diablo 2, just make sure to click behind him.
>>
No. 2029 ID: 4abe6f

A caster of some sort, and two repeatan-crossbow guards.
I believe it is time to utilise the first skill successful bards learn: That of the ancient art of DISTRACTION AND GTFO.
>>
No. 2030 ID: 2abfb1

Quickly explain to the totally creepy dude that the agony and humiliation of your loss has driven you to seek revenge and destruction against a world that betrayed you. You wish to join the Skullking, and enlisted the help of this murderous dwarf to gain an audience in order to serve the Skullking.
>>
No. 2031 ID: fb5d8e
File 124657350485.gif - (267.05KB , 800x600 , 50.gif )
2031

Axebeard bellows,
>"Ah will ne'er submit to ye, ye slimey eel!"
She tosses away the cape, and jumps over the desk with a great swing!

>animooted
>>
No. 2032 ID: 4abe6f

>>2031
SHITFUCKSHITFUCK
Throw the cape in the air to block line of sight and RUN LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER
>>
No. 2033 ID: fb5d8e
File 124657389052.png - (48.51KB , 800x600 , 51.png )
2033

A rain of blood fades away into nothingness before it hits the ground, leaving no trace of the once mighty Axebeard.
Mudy is frozen in shock.

>"Oh, dwarves. Zey are so monotonous. What about you, boldling?"
, the lich groans,
>"Are you more interesting than that?"
>>
No. 2034 ID: 1e1932

>>2033

...Fuck. I'm out of ideas.
>>
No. 2035 ID: a3ae12

>>2034
Do some bard stuff to impress him.
>>
No. 2038 ID: 1afd58

>>2033
Dance naked. What are the chances he's seen a naked boldling dancing for a lich before?
>>
No. 2039 ID: abd041

>>2033
Spontaneously snap your own neck while screaming.
>>
No. 2040 ID: c80cec

Sing a bardly song about mercy.
>>
No. 2041 ID: 04603a

RUN FUCKING SHIT RUN
>>
No. 2044 ID: ac4254

Sing a bardly song about death. Offer to become their war bard.
>>
No. 2045 ID: da4b33

>>2044
Make it METAL. Sing a song of Dio. THat will confuse them for sure.
>>
No. 2048 ID: 7eda8b

Shoot him in the eye, throw the cloak up to shield yourself, and flee at best speed.
>>
No. 2062 ID: fb5d8e
File 124658268430.gif - (486.04KB , 800x600 , 51-end.gif )
2062

>"Oh, please don't do zat."

>animooted
>>
No. 2063 ID: 35cea2

Well, that was fast. Next quest!
>>
No. 2064 ID: 1afd58

>>2062
D:
>>
No. 2065 ID: 42a775

>>2062

Meet up with the wpirit of axebeard for GHOST ADVENTURES
>>
No. 2066 ID: 1e1932

>>2062

RESTART FROM CHAPTER START
>>
No. 2078 ID: c01408

Instant-death all-or-nothing situation at the end of an otherwise-silly and lighthearted quest against a foe who is so powerful he can kill us with a thought, in the middle of a fortress of baddies otherwise portrayed as humorous and bumbling.

We didn't even get told what we did wrong.

I am disappoint.
>>
No. 2087 ID: fb5d8e
File 124658695849.png - (32.82KB , 800x600 , 53.png )
2087

>LOADING AUTOSAVE.......

>BEGIN CHAPTER 3
>"THE MAGICIAN"
>>
No. 2089 ID: fb5d8e
File 124658698245.png - (64.62KB , 800x600 , 54.png )
2089

The marshal leans back in his chair.
>"I can not believe zose dumbkopfs could not see through zis disguise. Does ze Skullking really expect me to be able to do my work like zis?"
He sounds a hollow sigh, like someone blowing air through a tube.
>"Oh well.. Why don't you tell me somezing interesting before I destroy you?"
>>
No. 2090 ID: c80cec

>>2089
Say, "something interesting", And then go into a standup routine.
>>
No. 2093 ID: ac4254

"You seem intelligent. Or at least more intelligent than the others. How about a game of wits?"
>>
No. 2094 ID: c01408

All right so evidently this guy means business. With a knowing glance to Axebeard, tell him something like...

"All right. You want something interesting? Well it just so happens I am the most talented bard in the land, and my skills are many. But for this demonstration, I'm going to need a participant!
How about you, sir? Yes, you at the desk, with the skull! Don't be shy now, wouldn't you like to be a part of this amazing, never-before-seen feat?"
>>
No. 2097 ID: fb5d8e
File 124658757098.png - (53.23KB , 800x600 , 55.png )
2097

>"You seem intelligent. Or at least more intelligent than the others. How about a game of wits?"
,Mudy offers slyly.
The lich claps his hands.
>"Oh my, a game of wits? Against.. me?"
, the Lich responds with excited and a hollow laugh,
>"If you have such confidence zen perhaps I underestimated you! ..Oh, how about a little wager, hmmm? If you win, zen I shall surrender the command over zis entire camp to you. But if I win.. I get your soul! <3"
He radiates with a morbid glee.
>>
No. 2100 ID: ac4254

"Though I'm not sure what I will do with these incompetent dolts, the game itself sounds fun. We accept."
>>
No. 2101 ID: c01408

ACCEPTED.

Offer to play THE OLDEST GAME with him.
>>
No. 2102 ID: 42a775

>>2097

Save in slot 2
>>
No. 2106 ID: 1e1932

>>2097

Accept his challenge.
>>
No. 2107 ID: fb5d8e
File 124658856816.png - (60.92KB , 800x600 , 56.png )
2107

Mudy boldly accepts!
He throws his disguise away, striding towards the desk, and challenges the marshall to 'THE OLDEST GAME'.
The lich gasps a hollow gasp.
>"Zat.. Zat sounds delightful! ..What is The Oldest Game?"
>>
No. 2108 ID: 42a775

>>2107

Tiddlywinks
>>
No. 2109 ID: 1afd58

>>2108
Get out of here, Nev! The oldest game is naked dancing!
>>
No. 2110 ID: 9291cd

>>2107
uhh... hide and seek?
>>
No. 2112 ID: c01408

>>2107
The oldest game is simple, and it does not involve chance. It is all about wits! The cleverest man wins.
The rules are simple: each person simply states what they are, and the other person then has to 'become' something to counter that thing.
For example:
Person 1: "I am a bunny. Grass-eating, multiplying."
Person 2: "I am a wolf. Grass-prowling, bunny-devouring."
Person 1: "I am a hunter. Horse-mounted, wolf-stabbing."

You play until one cannot think up a counter. As a gesture of goodwill, you will even let him go first.

There are many ways to lose the oldest game. Failure of nerve, hesitation. (Lack of imagination.)
>>
No. 2115 ID: 1e1932

>>2112

I like where this is going.
>>
No. 2116 ID: ac4254

>>2115

As do I
>>
No. 2118 ID: fb5d8e
File 124658954798.png - (60.72KB , 800x600 , 57.png )
2118

>>2112
Mudy quickly explains the rules while the Lich listens intently. As a further display of confidence, Mudy tells the marshal he can go first.
>"Hmm.. Zis will be interesting! But it should be no trouble for zis incredible intellect of mine."
He rubs his chin for a moment, contemplating.
>"Okay. I am a lich. Fortress-dwelling, undead-creating."
>>
No. 2119 ID: c01408

>>2118
"I am a priest. Light-bringing, darkness-vanquishing."
>>
No. 2120 ID: 4abe6f

>>2118
"I am a pope, divinity-wreathed and undead-shattering."
>>
No. 2121 ID: ac4254

>>2118

I am a Paladin. Light-Serving, Undead-Smiting
>>
No. 2122 ID: 452a29

"I am a seven ton rolling boulder. Camp destroying and phylactery crushing."
>>
No. 2123 ID: fb5d8e
File 12465902694.png - (61.35KB , 800x600 , 58.png )
2123

>"I am a priest. Light-bringing, darkness-vanquishing."
The lich hisses.
>"Argh! Zose damn priests and zer goody-two shoes armies! Hsss. I am a doppelganger, doubt-creating, faith-destroying!"
>>
No. 2126 ID: 4abe6f

>>2123
"I am a Seer, deception-unveiling, trickery-defeating."
>>
No. 2127 ID: c01408

>>2123
I am a hermit, simple-minded, faith-eschewing.
>>
No. 2129 ID: ac4254

>>2123

"I am a psychic. Mind-reading, Faith-un-needing"
>>
No. 2134 ID: fb5d8e
File 124659089681.png - (59.24KB , 800x600 , 59.png )
2134

>"I am a Seer, deception-unveiling, trickery-defeating."

>"Hsss. Hsss."
The lich is obviously getting agitated.
>"I am the mortal mind, biased, forgetful!"
>>
No. 2135 ID: c01408

>>2134
I am the scholar, peaceful, mind-widening.
I travel the wilderness from town to town, and I spread good word and knowledge.
>>
No. 2136 ID: 1e1932

>>2134

"I am a book. Preserver of memories."
>>
No. 2137 ID: f373c2

>>2134
"I am the educated mind. Rational, long-lasting."
>>
No. 2138 ID: 4abe6f

>>2134
I am Library, keeper of tales and secrets, continuing through the ages.
>>
No. 2139 ID: ac4254

>>2134

"I am the mind of an child. Simple, blameless."
>>
No. 2140 ID: fb5d8e
File 124659133697.png - (59.22KB , 800x600 , 60.png )
2140

>"I am a book. Keeper of tales and secrets, preserver of memories."

>"Hsss. I am a TYRANT! Book burning! Idea suppressing!"
>>
No. 2141 ID: 1afd58

>>2140
I am a NAKED DANCER. NAKED AND DANCING
>>
No. 2142 ID: 4abe6f

>>2140
I am Bard, Tale-spinning, Hopes-raising, Joy-bringing!
>>
No. 2143 ID: 452a29

>>2140
"I am the Hero, slayer of tyrants and bringer of hope."
>>
No. 2144 ID: 1e1932

>>2140

"I am a revolutionary! Bane of tyrants, hero of The People!"
>>
No. 2145 ID: c01408

>>2140
(I think I understand how the lich plays this game. I think it is time to abandon the offensive. Time to move laterally.)

"I am cattle. Grass-eating, simple-pleasured.
I walk the world in great number, and my life is simple. I have no need for books, nor fear of tyrants."
>>
No. 2146 ID: 35cea2

>>2140

"I am hope. Freedom everlasting"
>>
No. 2147 ID: c80cec

>>2140
I am the hope of freedom that lies in every person's heart! Despair-quelling, revolution-bringing!
>>
No. 2148 ID: 55e935

I am Axe, steel-bladed, king-beheading!

As you say this, have Axebeard go at him by surprise before he can beam you to death.
>>
No. 2149 ID: fb5d8e
File 124659187171.png - (63.45KB , 800x600 , 61.png )
2149

>"I am cattle. Grass-eating, simple-pleasured."

The lich falls silent.
>"I am a peasant, cattle-herding, milk-drinking..?"
>>
No. 2150 ID: ac4254

>>2148

Isn't Axebeard an indirect character?
>>
No. 2151 ID: ac4254

>>2149

"Drinking milk does nothing to the cow."
>>
No. 2152 ID: 452a29

>>2149
He was unsure of his answer, that means we win.
>>
No. 2153 ID: 4abe6f

>>2149
I am a flea, blood-drinking and unseen.
>>
No. 2154 ID: c01408

>>2149
"I am a world. Star-circling, life-nurturing.
And as I feed from the bosom of the sun, I alone make the peasant's life possible. He is only a tiny piece of me, a greater whole."
>>
No. 2155 ID: 9291cd

>>2149
I am a pestilence, starvation-causing, peasant killing.
>>
No. 2156 ID: 1e1932

>>2149

"I am a lord. Peasant-ruling, capitilizer of the sweat of the lower class."
>>
No. 2157 ID: 1afd58

>>2150
Axebeard is an indirect player-character.

>Axebeard kiss Mudy
"Axebeard kiss Mudy."
MUDY QUEST THE END
LOADING FROM LAST SAVE
>>
No. 2161 ID: 452a29

>>2160
We restarted from a save point. Axebeard is alive and well.
>>
No. 2162 ID: fb5d8e
File 12465926419.png - (58.46KB , 800x600 , 62.png )
2162

>"Drinking milk does nothing to the cow."

>"What- But- It- No! NO! NNOOOOOOOOO---"
>>
No. 2163 ID: fb5d8e
File 124659265828.png - (57.39KB , 800x600 , 63.png )
2163

>"--OOOOOooooo--"
>>
No. 2164 ID: fb5d8e
File 124659267718.png - (57.37KB , 800x600 , 64.png )
2164

>"--ooo-"
*FWOOP*
>>
No. 2165 ID: c01408
File 124659271056.png - (46.60KB , 800x600 , mudy.png )
2165

"I win."
>>
No. 2167 ID: 1afd58

Well. Looks like we have ourselves a fortress and an army. Sounds like a kingdom to me. Let's go make it with that elf woman.
>>
No. 2168 ID: c80cec

>>2164
To the two guards, "Well, looks like I'm the new boss around here, doesn't it?"
>>
No. 2169 ID: 1e1932

>>2167

We still need the riches. I think we have quite a bit of adventuring ahead of us.
>>
No. 2171 ID: 35cea2

Looks like you are a new Lord. And that makes Axebeard probably your Champion or something to that effect.
>>
No. 2172 ID: ac4254

Kingdom enough for me.

Return to town. Tell tale. Become heros. Receive princess.
>>
No. 2173 ID: 452a29

>>2165
Fuck yes you are the best cutebold ever.

Make sure you take his phylactery for safe keeping.
>>
No. 2174 ID: 1afd58

>>2171
>axebeard your champion
>champion
>wife
>Delicious dwarven women

I AGREE SIR
>>
No. 2175 ID: 4abe6f

First order of business:
Have the men craft the most ornate skull-hat they can.
>>
No. 2178 ID: 35cea2

>>2174

But... the princess!
>>
No. 2180 ID: 1afd58

>>2178
>>2179
Both of you similarly worded folks prefer elves over dwarves? EH? DO YOU?
>>
No. 2181 ID: 1e1932

>>2180

I do.
>>
No. 2183 ID: 1afd58

>>2181
Ah, well, OK then.
>>
No. 2184 ID: 1e1932

>>2164

Sit upon the Lich's throne.

"This army is now under new management."
>>
No. 2185 ID: ac4254

>>2184

This is obviously the best plan.
>>
No. 2186 ID: ea7daa

>>2165 >>2184
"This army is now under new management."
First order of business, ask the guards what this camp was doing before you became new leader.
>>
No. 2187 ID: c80cec

>>2164
Wait, why did the lich dissolve from losing a game of wits?
>>
No. 2190 ID: 42a775

>>2165

Acquire LICH GRIMOIR
>>
No. 2191 ID: 4abe6f

>>2187
High level spellcasters have to take the Drama Queen template.
>>
No. 2193 ID: 55e935

>>2187
Fridge logic.
>>
No. 2194 ID: fb5d8e
File 124659454112.png - (44.12KB , 800x600 , 65.png )
2194

Mudy climbs on top of the now empty throne.
>"This army is now under new management."
He waves to the two guards.
>"You two, go inform everyone."
>"Yes, sir!"
The guards quickly march off, letting Axebeard take their place next to the throne.
>"That was quite ta show, me lad. Ye gots an entire army in just a day."

Mudy leans back. He takes deep breathes to let his adrenaline flow away.
It was a terrible moment, waging his life and soul, but now, he can only feel an immense satisfaction.
>>
No. 2195 ID: fb5d8e
File 124659459023.png - (41.67KB , 800x600 , 66.png )
2195

>ding ding, ding tingle ding

"Ye hear that, me lad? Sounds like bells.. coming from yer desk."
>>
No. 2197 ID: 1e1932

>>2195

Investigate source of noise.
>>
No. 2198 ID: fb5d8e
File 124659467292.png - (26.05KB , 800x600 , 67.png )
2198

Mudy looks underneath his desk. There is a crystal ball, currently sparkling brightly and sounding the sounds of bells.

Mudy takes it for closer investigation.
>>
No. 2199 ID: 4abe6f
File 124659468217.jpg - (78.28KB , 640x480 , 1222746210641.jpg )
2199

>>2195
>>
No. 2200 ID: fb5d8e
File 12465947881.png - (47.05KB , 800x600 , 68.png )
2200

>"Calavera, my dear field marshal, are you there? Have you fixed ze visuals on zis crystal ball yet? Ah, I see you haven't. Better do it soon, or I will kill you, eh? Ha! Now, I am just making ze joke. Seriously, though, you naughty little lich, I want an update on ze army. Tell me how long before we can start ze invasion."

>END OF CHAPTER 3
>>
No. 2213 ID: 04603a

Well, then. We had better make the best of our army while we can. Use it to overthrow the local kingdom, installing ourselves as rulers. Then we can negotiate some sort of fealty-type deal with the Skullking. Alternatively, form an alliance to kill him.
>>
No. 2214 ID: 04603a

So... why the fuck did the Lich disappear? Will this be revealed? I still don't get it.
>>
No. 2215 ID: 1e1932

>>2214

I think that's part of how liches work. They're supposed to be super-smart, so if you can beat one in a battle of wits, you vanquish them, or some shit.

>>2213

Considering that we're supposed to be the good guys, the latter seems like a better approach.
>>
No. 2220 ID: 6550ad

>>2214

More like when they accepted the duel, they agreed in some kind of magic contract.

Also, for the sake of narrativity, disappearing in a ray of red light is far more impressive than just saying "Uh...Ok, you win." and walk out of the room.
>>
No. 2221 ID: 7eda8b

It's possible the lich self-destructed or else merely teleported away in rage.

Firstly, we need to think of what to tell this guy to throw him off in the best possible way.

Also, we have to figure out how to un-stupid these stupids we're now in charge of.
>>
No. 2223 ID: bde1b8

We will teach them the buddy system.

Always go in groups of two, and if you spot any trouble, blow on your safety whistle.

Also make sure to get them different helmets so they can actually spot trouble.
>>
No. 2224 ID: c01408

When you outwit a pompous nonhuman know-it-all with supernatural powers, especially one that is confident it can NEVER BE BEATEN, it generally dies.
Didn't anyone ever read RUMPLESTILTSKIN?
>>
No. 2226 ID: fb5d8e
File 124665963524.png - (24.96KB , 800x600 , 69.png )
2226

>BEGIN CHAPTER 4
>"THE HANGED MAN"
>>
No. 2228 ID: fb5d8e
File 124665974375.png - (43.71KB , 800x600 , 70.png )
2228

The crystal ball's sparkles glow and dim with the voice coming from it.
>"Hallo? Calavera, are you zer, sweety?"
>>
No. 2229 ID: 54fe1e

>>2228
Say that you're in a tunnel and reception's bad, so you can't answer right now.
>>
No. 2230 ID: 35cea2

>>2228

"Help! I've been turned into a Kobold!"
>>
No. 2231 ID: 4abe6f

>>2228
Punch yourself in the throat to mimic the horrible raspy voice.
Claim that everything is going as planned; if he catches you on something, chuck the ball and the ground and evacuate.
>>
No. 2232 ID: 7eda8b

Turn your voice into a throaty whisper. Really get those lungs working. A bellow of a whisper.

"Sire, zhere is nothink new to report. Zhere has been a slight delay. Zhose responsible have been..."

Then pause to breathe heavily.

"Dealt vith."
>>
No. 2233 ID: fb5d8e
File 124666062033.png - (43.34KB , 800x600 , 71.png )
2233

Mudy takes a deep breath and tries to imitate the lich's voice, scraping and whispering, but without a hollow skull to echo in he just sounds like a goblin.
>"Sire, zhere is nothink new to report. Zhere has been a slight delay. Zhose responsible have been..."
He pauses to breathe heavily.
>"Dealt vith."

There's a moment of silence on the other side.
>"..Are you allright, Calavera? You sound sick.. und acting so formal! Zat must have been quite ze battle to leave you like zis. Would you like me to come over?"
>>
No. 2234 ID: c01408

>>2233
Uh. UHHHH.
Negative, negative.
We had a necromantic leak here, now.
Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak, very dangerous.
>>
No. 2235 ID: 4abe6f

>>2233
No, no, zhe room is steel qvite messy; it would not do.
>>
No. 2236 ID: 7eda8b

Talk into one of your candle-skulls to mimic the echo.

"No, it iss fine. And zhere is a mess. I vould be sho embarassed if I didn't tidy up ze place fust!"
>>
No. 2237 ID: fb5d8e
File 124666160854.png - (43.02KB , 800x600 , 72.png )
2237

Mudy quickly grabs a candle to deform his voice some more.
>"No, no, zhe room is steel qvite messy; it would not do! I vould be sho embarassed if I didn't tidy up ze place fust!"
A laugh now fills the crystal ball.
>"Ja, ja, ja! Go clean your room and rest a bit, sweety. Und don't forget to clean one of ze rooms for zat Bludjager zat is heading your way. He'll be zere in a few days. Okay? Now zen, I have to go, zere's zis creepy bounty hunter with a few heads. Good night, Calavera!"

The sparkles in the crystal ball die out.
>>
No. 2238 ID: 1afd58

>>2237
Quickly grab Goldwomb and RUB NOSES LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW
>>
No. 2239 ID: 7eda8b

Say "WHEW!"

Slump in your chair.

"Zhat... uh... That was a close one, huh, Axebeard? Now that we've got this place, we need to think of what we're going to do with it. Assuming you'd like to stay, of course."
>>
No. 2240 ID: fb5d8e
File 124666274377.png - (43.76KB , 800x600 , 73.png )
2240

Mudy slumps back into the throne with a loud sigh. Oh man, such adrenaline!
He and Axebeard agree that was a narrow miss, even making her remove her helmet to whipe off a few drips of sweat.
After that breather, Mudy states that they have to figure out what to do next.

>"Well.."
, Axebeard begins,
>"Ah think ye best go speak to yer new army 'bout all th' changes yer gonna make.. 'n change their masks so ye won't be scarin' ye peasants any more. Sayin' that, though.. These men're all a buncha crooks. Do ye really wanna lead murderers 'n looters?"
>>
No. 2241 ID: 35cea2

>>2240

Murdering crooks? How is that different from any other soldier?
>>
No. 2242 ID: caf9c5

>>2241
They enjoy it fully double from other soldiers.

These ones like nature too.
>>
No. 2243 ID: 7eda8b

>>2240
Well, what are we supposed to do? Leave them to their own devices? Kill them all in cold blood?
>>
No. 2244 ID: ac4254

"If they're as easily led as I think it shouldn't matter. We'd be the only ones who would know of their past anyway."
>>
No. 2245 ID: c01408

>>2241
>>2240
>Murdering crooks? How is that different from any other soldier?
"Axebeard, do you know what the difference is between a crook and a soldier?
The amount of polish on his boots."
>>
No. 2246 ID: 4abe6f

>>2240
If I don't, who will?
>>
No. 2247 ID: fb5d8e
File 124666887916.png - (47.16KB , 800x600 , 74.png )
2247

Mudy tells Axebeard that soldiers will be terrible people in any army, a burden that is unavoidable.
Axebeard nods and sighs.
>"Well said, me lad. Shameful it may be, even in me brethren's army there's those with only blood on their minds."

One of the skullmen Mudy send away strides back into the room.
>"Sir, we've gathered ze troops. Zey are eagerly awaiting your speech outside. After zat ze generals are ready to have a private meeting with you."
>>
No. 2248 ID: 7eda8b

Ask him of the character of the average soldier.

Also ask if there's a cool hat we can wear. Like a crown. Preferably one with no skulls on it, and which is not a skull, or at least which only has very small skull decorations.
>>
No. 2250 ID: caf9c5

Ask for a report on the recent goals and plans that have been going on and the purpose of this encampment.
>>
No. 2252 ID: ea7daa

>>2247
Give the soldiers a very generic but inspiring speech. The sort of one that sounds awesome and inspiring without actually stating what the hell we're going to do.
"There's going to be incredible changes around here!" And then failing to state what those changes are.
They're stupid, as proven by them falling for our earlier disguise. They'll totally fall for it.
>>
No. 2253 ID: 7eda8b

>>2252
The ol' Boldrack Kobamald?

Given how we haven't made a plan yet, that might not be a bad idea.

OR we could go balls-out and give a big speech about no more skulls. Realistically, I think they'd fly into a rage at that, however. Motherfuckers love skulls.
>>
No. 2254 ID: fb5d8e
File 124667668937.png - (48.57KB , 800x600 , 75.png )
2254

Before they head outside, Mudy requests a finelooking piece of headgear to show off his new leadership - but one without skulls on them.
The skullmen tells him there's only one hat without skulls present in the camp and fetches it immediatly.

Outside, hundreds of skullmen stand around the entrance of the building, their unseen eyes fixated on the little creature in front of them, who just left the building with a confident stride.
>"There's going to be incredible changes around here!"
, Mudy begins.
The skullmen listen intently.
>>
No. 2255 ID: 1afd58

>>2254
"First off, Every Tuesday is Naked Dancing Day! The naked dancing will be followed by noserubbing! AND GUESS WHAT DAY TODAY IS"
>>
No. 2256 ID: 35cea2

>>2254

"Pillaging small villages of peasants is henceforth prohibited, Especially if it's a Kobold village! All further ransacking and looting will be directed entirely to evil lairs, dungeons and caves!"
>>
No. 2257 ID: ea7daa

>>2254
"Actually, how about this: As your new leader, you're all under orders to piss around and get drunk until I figure out what I'm going to do with you."
>>
No. 2258 ID: 7eda8b

Don't forget, these guys need a few days to go from "all hail skull king" to "fight the skull king."

At least.

Say "There has been a change in the leadership from higher up. The Skull King has granted me broad authority. So broad, in fact, that you aren't ... TECHNICALLY working for him at all, but rather myself. Over the next several days I will be going over this fort top to bottom. TOP TO BOTTOM. This is your first and last warning! Only after I have fully assessed your utility will I be able to whip you into shape. A new shape! A BETTER SHAPE!"

Then mumble. "A shape that isn't a skull."
>>
No. 2259 ID: fb5d8e
File 124667866941.png - (52.58KB , 800x600 , 76.png )
2259

Mudy takes a deep breath and calls upon his bardic charisma.
>"I am Prince Mudy. There has been a change in the leadership from higher up. The Skull King has granted me broad authority. So broad, in fact, that you aren't ... TECHNICALLY working for him at all, but rather myself. Over the next several days I will be going over this fort top to bottom. TOP TO BOTTOM. This is your first and last warning! Only after I have fully assessed your utility will I be able to whip you into shape. A new shape! A BETTER SHAPE!"
Mudy lets his gaze slide across the rows of skullmen, who are obviously silenced in awe.
>"Pillaging small villages of peasants is henceforth prohibited, Especially if it's a Kobold village! All further ransacking and looting will be directed entirely to evil lairs, dungeons and caves!"

But now the army isn't so silent anymore. Confused mumbling slowly spreads across the ranks. The air of awe does not fade, but is instead complimented with an air of helpless panic.
Mudy quickly pulls out his trumpcard.
>"But for now.."
He pauses dramatically.
>"You're all under orders to piss around and get drunk."

A loud cheer erupts! All the skullmen lifts their hands in the air, yelling,
>"Prince Mudy! Prince Mudy!"

Behind Mudy the dorf's frown fades away. He can hear Axebeard's giant heart beating faster.
>"Uhm.. Lad.. Mind if ah.. ye know.. Mind if ah join the men fer this one?"
>>
No. 2260 ID: 1afd58

>>2259
No drinking. We need to keep a clear mind, Axebeard. So you need to stay sober for at least the next week, while we get things in order here.
>>
No. 2261 ID: 1deb5c

"Anyway, the best loot is always in the evil dungeons! Why settle for less?"
>>
No. 2262 ID: 35cea2

>>2260

OH NO YOU DIDN'T
>>
No. 2263 ID: add247

>>2260
>clear mind,
>no drinking
>Axebeard

Doing it wrong. Let her drink.
>>
No. 2264 ID: c80cec

>>2260
That's like eating a feast in front of a starving man. We aren't that cruel.
>>
No. 2265 ID: 1e1932

>>2259

"Sure. A little partying now and then never hurt anyone."
>>
No. 2266 ID: fb5d8e
File 12466812037.png - (40.72KB , 800x600 , 77.png )
2266

Mudy allows Axebeard to join the army in their celebrations, who quickly dashes off to follow the soldier's march to the ale kegs.
>"A thousand thanks, me lad!"

The two skullmen behind him speak with their cold monotonous voices.
>"If you would please follow us, we will show you to the meeting room."

A moment later, Mudy is seated in a large chair, facing two sinister looking characters.
One of the two skullmen speak again.
>"I am Ivar, and zis is my bruder Rune. We lost our souls to Calavera and were in eternal servitude to him. As he has given his command to you, you are now our master.
>Zese are your generals. General Totenkopf, also known as ze Lichprince, was an apprentice to Calavera. He wields infernal powers capable of destroying entire cities.
>And zere is General Darkmoon Dagger, ze eldest daughter of prince Darkmoon Rapier from ze dark elf kingdom ze Skullking is allied with. She wields ze dark magic and sword as secret to her people."

The two generals look Mudy over with a look of disgust.
General Totenkopf is first to speak,
>"You are very powerful indeed, if you were able to defeat my master so easily. I can respect zat."
>"Hmm."
Darkmoon yawns lazily.
>"Good riddance. That old lech was nothing to look up to."
>>
No. 2267 ID: 1afd58

>>2266
Politely compliment the drow woman on the size and shape of her bosoms, adding that her petite nose is lovely as well.
>>
No. 2268 ID: ea7daa

>>2266
Inform Ivar and Rune that, as your secretaries, they really need to be wearing something to set them apart from the other troops.
Also, ask what Calavera was doing before we took over his job.
And finally, ask what the hell a Blutjager is.
>>
No. 2269 ID: 7eda8b

"Gentlemen, and lady, it is my intention to betray the Skull King. I trust there are no objections."

Steeple your tiny, tiny fingers.
>>
No. 2271 ID: 4abe6f

>>2270
To set them apart, they shall wear PARTY HATS.
>>
No. 2272 ID: fb5d8e
File 124668318060.png - (40.72KB , 800x600 , 78.png )
2272

>(I made a terrible typo! Sorry!)

Mudy politely compliments General Darkmoon on the size and shape of her bosoms, adding that her petite nose is lovely as well.
Darkmoon's eyes light up.
>"Vhy, tank you, marshall! I am beink quite hapy vhith tem myself too."
She reaches under her armor to grab them.
Totenkopf does not react pleased.
>"Damn it, woman! Must you be flashing your vag every damned minute?!"
>"Vhy don't you shut up, mister fake accent?"
>"Why you..!"

As the two begin to argue, Mudy turns his attention to Ivar and Rune. He tells them they should do something about their appearance to set them apart from the other soldiers and asks what Calavera was doing, and what the hell a Blutjaeger is.
>"Tell us what changes we must make and we shall make them, master."
, they begin,
>"As for Calavera, he was recruiting an army and building a stronghold here as he waited for more supplies. Once an army strong enough was build, he'd begin the assault on ze defenses of ze Kingdom of Moonshine. A simple shock and awe spearhead tactic to make way for ze Skullking's own army.
>And a Blutjaeger.. Noone is really sure. Zey are the Skullking's private elite. Rumors say zat zey are even the Skullking's children sired by demons."
>>
No. 2273 ID: 1e1932

>>2270

Tell them that they must replace their skull helmets with sunglasses. And instead of black cloaks, they must wear tuxedos.

They can be like the Blues Brothers!
>>
No. 2274 ID: 4abe6f

>>2271
Note that the party hats are over the skull masks.
>>
No. 2275 ID: ea7daa

>>2271
Party hats with feathers. It's like a halfway point between our hat and the Skullking.
>>
No. 2276 ID: 7eda8b

>>2273
Just have them wear the glasses over their helmets.
>>
No. 2277 ID: 1e1932

>>2276

That can work too.
>>
No. 2278 ID: c80cec

>>2273
In that case, we are changing their names to Jake and Elwood.
>>
No. 2280 ID: 7eda8b

>>2278
No, no, let's not overdo it.

It's funnier if there's no other difference. Just the sight gag of glasses skull guys.
>>
No. 2281 ID: 1e1932

>>2280

In tuxedos. They gotta look like suave motherfuckers.
>>
No. 2282 ID: fb5d8e

Guys, where the fuck are they going to get sunglasses and tuxedos?! Or partyhats, even.
>>
No. 2284 ID: ea7daa

>>2282
Party hats can be made from paper. Or cloth and sticks. Or anything. You just take something that can curled into a cone shape and wear it.
Then kill a bird and give them some feathers.
>>
No. 2285 ID: 4abe6f

>>2282
BARD POWAHZ
>>
No. 2286 ID: 1e1932

>>2282

How about plague doctor outfits, then? Those can't be too hard to find in our medieval world.
>>
No. 2292 ID: fb5d8e
File 124668526167.gif - (62.36KB , 800x600 , 79.gif )
2292

Mudy suggests a plague doctor theme might work well. Ivar and Rune nod and walk out.
Meanwhile, the argument continues.
>"Not to be bashink on me, because you are not havink anythink to be proud of."
, Darkmoon mocks.
>"Shut up, shut up, shut up! I am closer to the Skullking's bloodline than any-- ZAN anyone else!"

Ivar and Rune return silently, their new customes setting theme apart from the rest quite a bit.
Mudy nods with approval.


>
>END OF CHAPTER FOUR
>>
No. 2293 ID: caf9c5

>>2286
Those fuckers are nightmare fuel.
>>
No. 2294 ID: ac4254

>>2293

Fuck yes they are!

Oh and ask them if they can see. I don't want blind minions.
>>
No. 2296 ID: 6550ad
File 124668667647.jpg - (27.06KB , 400x400 , noses.jpg )
2296

Aww, I would've gone for a more discreet outfit.
>>
No. 2309 ID: fb5d8e
File 124673496115.png - (34.68KB , 800x600 , 80.png )
2309

>BEGIN CHAPTER 5
>"THE CHARIOT"
>>
No. 2310 ID: fb5d8e
File 124673518712.png - (43.29KB , 800x600 , 81.png )
2310

>"Say something, Prince! Something needs to be done about her attitude!"
, Totenkopf whines.

>"Ha! Vhat are you, a leetle beby? Your papa not here to be cryink to anymore, beetch."
, Darkmoon continues to mock him.

It is obvious that tension build over a long time is finally coming out.
>>
No. 2312 ID: 1afd58

>>2310
Sigh disappointedly, and order them both to apologize to the other.

Mention that perhaps you need to discuss more important things, like how to increase the number of your troops and how to reorganize them into a more effective fighting force.
>>
No. 2314 ID: 1e1932

>>2310

"Both of you, we have an operation to run here. Quit flirting and get your minds back on topic."
>>
No. 2315 ID: c01408

Tell them to just make out and get it over with.
No. ORDER them.
>>
No. 2316 ID: 5c469d

>>2314
this.
>>
No. 2317 ID: fb5d8e
File 12467415097.png - (41.32KB , 800x600 , 82.png )
2317

Mudy sighs with disappointment.
>"Both of you, we have an operation to run here. Quit flirting and get your minds back on topic."
He mentions that they need to discuss more important things, like how to increase the number of your troops and how to reorganize them into a more effective fighting force.

>"But--"
Mudy quickly cuts them off.
>"Or I'll ORDER you to MAKE OUT."

They are immediatly silenced.
>"Vh.. Vhell, vhe vhere mostly just vhaitink for te Blutjaeger to arrive."
>"Y-yeah.. Zer were some plans involving him zat we were going to work out in more detail.. but.."
>"Da.. Vhe are not very sure vhat to do now."
>>
No. 2318 ID: bffa2a

Ah, yes. This would be an excellent test of competence and loyalty.

Bonehead wants to prove his blood and with Blutjaeger there is the opportunity. But he might not be a match alone. While Darkmoon's ample assets are welcome, some teamwork and guile needs to be shown too however distasteful she finds it.

That Blutjaeger ain't meddling in our affairs.
>>
No. 2319 ID: fb5d8e
File 124674570530.png - (41.75KB , 800x600 , 83.png )
2319

Mudy takes a dramatic moment to contemplate - but he already knows what to say.
>"This will be an excellent test of competence and loyalty."
, he begins.
>"That Blutjaeger will not be meddling in our affairs."
He tells his generals that Blutjaeger is no longer invited - and that they are going to take care of it. But to prevent injuries when facing such an elite force, teamwork will be required.

>"I won't disappoint you. I shall show zat Blutjaeger who is closer to the Skullking."
>"Skullking or not, I hav been vhantink to take on a Blutjaeger! I vhould like to see tat power in action.. I believe me and te beeg beby here vhill be able to make a truce for te sake of tis battle."
>"Ofcourse we can! Ze Prince demands it and ze Skullking will be watching!"
The two look at eachother and nod.

>"Master,"
Ivar speaks up.
>"Do you know when ze Blutjaeger will be arriving? You might want to make ze preperations for zis battle."
>>
No. 2320 ID: 1afd58

>>2319
The crystal ball said in a few days. So let the guys get drunk off their asses tonight, tomorrow we start drills to fight. We will give each general a large force of men under their control, and focus our own attention on a handful of elite.
>>
No. 2321 ID: ec9117

>>2319
Ain't we somehow the good guys? Maybe we could recruit some heroes to help us, like that elf knight from the beginning. Ideally he'll die in battle.
>>
No. 2322 ID: bffa2a

>>2319

A day at least. Tell me we have an elite force in readiness somewhere. The soldiers of this place seem dumb as posts and while tweedledee and tweedledum here are better they hardly constitute as a "force". Dragons, ogres, bone golems... busty elves?

Also, ask if they have a good battle location in mind or were they just going to bumrush some horribly powerful demon in open field?

Would this thing be vulnerable to Darkmoon's bosom? This would allow us to control the location. (Also what would she think about kissing elven princesses? ... oh, just for future weakening of moral... nations!)
>>
No. 2323 ID: ac4254

>>2321

I like how you think. I agree.
>>
No. 2324 ID: 227d44

Prepare the troops for the Blutjaeger with an awesome Romantic Guitar solo. Morale, stat bonuses, all that good stuff that should be handy for training.
>>
No. 2325 ID: fb5d8e
File 124675078590.png - (42.45KB , 800x600 , 84.png )
2325

Mudy tells them they have atleast one day - The Skullking said 'a few days', but it's better not to take much risks.
He orders the generals to ready their armies. They gleefully accept, obviously happy to get some action.

To Ivar and Rune he gives the order to end the celebrations and gather the men again for an inspirational speech.
>>
No. 2326 ID: fb5d8e
File 124675087984.png - (45.34KB , 800x600 , 85.png )
2326

Axebeard joins Mudy again as they both look on the hundreds of soldiers before them.
Somewhere in the following days they will be facing off against the Skullking's elite; one of the dreaded Blutjaegers.

Mudy searches for his words..
>>
No. 2327 ID: bffa2a

Men, grave news. I have just received word that a Blutjaeger is on his way here to boss us around. I direct threat to the BIG changes for the betterment of life on this camp. He will take away your freedoms. No more walks in the forest. No more three meals a day. But worst of all - NO MORE BEER! Well I've had it. Are you going to stand for it or are you going to fight for your right to paaaaarty?! *riff*
>>
No. 2328 ID: bffa2a

And if that dosen't do it. No women. They'll surely miss Darkmoon's mammaries around camp.
>>
No. 2330 ID: 520be8

"The sooner this Blutjaeger goes down, the sooner everybody gets to reap the rewards, in the form of ale and whores."
>>
No. 2331 ID: fb5d8e
File 124675335586.png - (55.10KB , 800x600 , 87.png )
2331

>"Men, grave news. I have just received word that a Blutjaeger is on his way here to boss us around. I direct threat to the BIG changes for the betterment of life on this camp. He will take away your freedoms. No more walks in the forest. No more three meals a day. But worst of all - NO MORE BEER! Well I've had it. Are you going to stand for it or are you going to fight for your right to paaaaarty?!"

The cheer that erupted from this was several times more intense than the first one. With spirits raised from the alchohol everyone forgot about the Blutjaeger's infamy and let their moral be raised even higher.
Behind Mudy Axebeard was among the loudest.
>>
No. 2332 ID: fb5d8e
File 12467537065.png - (49.89KB , 800x600 , 88.png )
2332

UKULELE SOLO!!!

The rest of the evening seemed like celebrations began all over, but kegs made way for arms and armor. Under loud singing plate was fitted, swords were sharpened and crossbows were loaded.

Axebeard had gotten over her early assumptions completely and found herself completely at home with her fellow warriors. So much that she took on the role of drill sergeant, and even volunteered to spend the night with the men in the barracks.

General Darkmoon and General Totenkopf were in equal spirits, and wandered the camp to make sure their armies were doing everything perfectly.

The lust for blood and brotherhood were in the air.
>>
No. 2333 ID: fb5d8e
File 124675376020.png - (22.12KB , 800x600 , 86.png )
2333

..But right now, Mudy is unable to get a wink of sleep.
>>
No. 2334 ID: ac4254

>>2333

Maybe it's the skull on his bed.
>>
No. 2335 ID: 520be8

>>2333

Ask Ivar and Rune to tell you a bedtime story.
>>
No. 2336 ID: bffa2a

Awww, mayby Darkmoon will sing us a lullaby.
>>
No. 2337 ID: 227d44

>>2333
Ask General Darkmoon for a "bedtime story" to aid you in "sleeping". Let the SHENANIGANS ensue.
>>
No. 2338 ID: ac4254

>>2337

This is the best course of action.
>>
No. 2339 ID: 520be8

>>2338

Clearly.
>>
No. 2340 ID: fb5d8e
File 124675460436.png - (29.81KB , 800x600 , 89.png )
2340

Mudy softly whispers for his assistants and politely - and a little embarrassed - if they can tell him a bedtime story to help him sleep.
Ivar and Rune immediately appear from the darkness like ghosts.
>"Ofcourse, young master. We were once like you too. Scared, homesick.. Let us tell you ze story zat kept us going whenever we felt zere was no more hope."

>homesick

Suddenly Mudy is reminded of home. Is he being missed right now? Are people searching for him?
It dawns on him that he has no memory before the box... yet the feeling that there's a family somewhere remains.

>"Once upon a time..."
>>
No. 2342 ID: fb5d8e
File 124675481023.png - (30.69KB , 800x600 , 90.png )
2342

..Will he ever see them again..?

>"..and then she saw him behind the bars.."

>zzz




>END OF CHAPTER FIVE
>>
No. 2343 ID: 670155

>>2342
Oh yes, thats exactly what you want to see before you go to bed .
>>
No. 2344 ID: fb5d8e
File 124675630140.png - (32.23KB , 800x600 , 91.png )
2344

>BEGIN CHAPTER 6
>"THE HIGH PRIESTRESS"
>>
No. 2345 ID: fb5d8e
File 124675642498.png - (40.14KB , 800x600 , 92.png )
2345

>"Hey.."

>"Heeeeyy..."

Mudy forces his heavy eyes open. General Darkmoon is leaning over him.

>"Ah- You are avhake now? The sun is beink up for hour. Everyone is vhaitink for order to move."
>>
No. 2346 ID: 520be8

>>2345

Hug her and smother your face between her breasts.

Then immediately pull back and apologize profusely.
>>
No. 2347 ID: 227d44

>>2346
This, without the puling back and the apologies.
>>
No. 2348 ID: ec9117

>>2346
That's the only reasonable course of action right now, everything else would be foolish.
>>
No. 2349 ID: ac4254

>>2346

This if it doesn't get us killed. Otherwise, get up and order you fucking army bigshot.
>>
No. 2350 ID: fb5d8e
File 124675742497.png - (36.85KB , 800x600 , 93.png )
2350

Still half asleep, Mudy leans over and presses his face against Darkmoon's chest; It is warm and soft like nothing he had ever felt before, yet resilient enough to return the embrace around his face.

General Darkmoon looks down in surprise for a moment before speaking.
>"..You are flatterink me, prince, but.. I am already havink interest in someone now."
>>
No. 2351 ID: ac4254

>>2350

Become displeased.

Now get up and act like a ruler-man.
>>
No. 2352 ID: 227d44

>>2350
"Yes, well I-wait, what?!"
>>
No. 2353 ID: bffa2a

Ask for clothes before you blush so badly you die from bloodloss. Cover nose.

It's time to inspect the troops.
>>
No. 2354 ID: 520be8

>>2350

Immediately pull back and apologize profusely.
>>
No. 2355 ID: 8ce2bf

Go and command your troops post-haste, we have no time for getting dressed!
>>
No. 2356 ID: 227d44

>>2354
But...But...God dammit.
>>
No. 2357 ID: fb5d8e
File 124675929178.png - (46.78KB , 800x600 , 94.png )
2357

Mudy immediatly pulls away as he realizes what he is doing - he is wide awake now, and burning up.
He stammers a stream of awkward apologizes to General Darkmoon, who just laughs.
>"You're are cutey, prince. But now to be hurryink vhith giving orders, yes?"
She hands him his outfit with an amused grin.
>>
No. 2358 ID: fb5d8e
File 124675939447.png - (44.74KB , 800x600 , 95.png )
2358

Moments later, Mudy finds himself proudly watching his army march off with his generals.

It is an incredibly weird sensation: He had only arrived about a day ago, and now he is already leading an army into battle. His first battle.
But he can't show any of this doubt to the men..
>>
No. 2359 ID: fb5d8e
File 124675949192.png - (48.66KB , 800x600 , 96.png )
2359

Suddenly one of the soldiers runs up to him.
>"Sir! Ze front rows have run into someone wearing ze Skullking emblem!"

Totenkopf snarls,
>"What? Already? Damned Blutjaegers! I heard they-- zey were fast, but.."

>"Shush, Totenkopf. Vhat be your orders, prince Mudy?"
>>
No. 2360 ID: ac4254

>>2357

"Oh Ah Uuuhhmmm, ORDERS! RIGHT! Have everyone go on full guard. We don't want a sneak attack by such a powerful foe!"
>>
No. 2361 ID: ac4254

>>2360

Disregard this as I am a late faggot.
>>
No. 2362 ID: ac4254

>>2361

Disregard this disregard as it makes sense kind of. Just take out the gasping I guess.
>>
No. 2363 ID: bffa2a

>>2359

Deception. We are marching to war, mayby it would like to join us and get surrounded in process. And then get a bolt to the back where speed matters not.
>>
No. 2364 ID: 520be8

>>2359

Ask to see it with your own eyes. It could be a trap.
>>
No. 2365 ID: ea7daa

>>2360 >>2363 >>2364
A combination of all of these.
Go full guard, wait to see it to evaluate how much of a threat it is. Have some troops take up a flank/backstabbing position as we do.
>>
No. 2366 ID: fb5d8e
File 124676186163.png - (49.42KB , 800x600 , 97.png )
2366

Mudy forms his plan. He tells the soldiers to go in full guard and surround the subject, then he and the generals will go talk to it.
Hopefully they can convince it to join them, and then, when its guard is down...

Both generals give their approval.
>>
No. 2367 ID: fb5d8e
File 124676199827.png - (58.65KB , 800x600 , 98.png )
2367

Mudy is guided to the front by the same soldier who came to him. He's left in a small circle of rows upon rows of soldier, their crossbows at the ready, and their eyes fixated on the person in the middle.
>"It wants to speak to ze Lichking Calavera."
, the soldier tells Mudy before joining the ranks.

The generals stay at the edge as Mudy steps forward to face the dreaded Blutjaeger.
>>
No. 2368 ID: 520be8

>>2367

"Calavera is no more. I am in charge of this operation now."

Have your men stay ready for combat at any moment. This creature should not be under-estimated by its silly appearance. It was named one of the Skullking's elite for a reason.
>>
No. 2369 ID: fb5d8e
File 12467625456.png - (58.58KB , 800x600 , 99.png )
2369

>"Calavera is no more. I am in charge of this operation now."
, Mudy boldly states.
The creature in front of him remains in contemplating silence before gently nodding its head. Mudy notices all of his men, and even his generals, jumped slightly at this small movement.
He feels his own heart start to beat even faster.

>"I was not informed of this."
, a somewhat feminine voice says,
>"Who are you?"
>>
No. 2371 ID: ea7daa

>>2369
"I am PRINCE MUDY. In Calavera's absence I have taken over, to lead these men to riches and glory and booze. His death was very recent."
"Who are you?"
>>
No. 2372 ID: fb5d8e
File 124676413635.gif - (873.36KB , 780x580 , 100.gif )
2372

>animooted

>"I am PRINCE MUDY. In Calavera's absence I have taken over, to lead these men to riches and glory and booze. His death was very recent."
Mudy pauses for dramatic effect, but really to try and see the Blutjaeger's face.
>"Who are you?"

The Blutjaeger raises its head, letting the concealing shadow under its hat give way to light.. revealing its deadly glare.
>"I am Raital, third daughter of the Skullking, and fifth heir to the throne. The Bloodjaeger of Silver.
>And you, 'prince Mudy',
>have alot of explaining to do."
>>
No. 2373 ID: c01408

>>2372
Ask what you will of me! I'm not afraid!
Though I am somewhat smitten by your good-looks and impressive stature. Are those platform boots?

(Also does she look familiar from somewhere? Because if it turns out we're skullking descendants too we probably shouldn't hit on her, at least not too much)
>>
No. 2374 ID: 520be8

>>2372

Ask her for a moment to confer with your generals.

Shuffle back to Darkmoon and whisper, "We have a problem. She's CUTE!"
>>
No. 2375 ID: ea7daa

>>2372
Oh god is that a beauty mark? Blush furiously.
Compliment her nose.
>>
No. 2376 ID: ac4254

>>2373

Are you kidding? Hit on her anyway. Even if it is incest that just makes it better.
>>
No. 2378 ID: fb5d8e
File 124676565776.png - (56.94KB , 800x600 , 101.png )
2378

Upon seeing Raital's face, Mudy can't help but blush.
>"Ask what you will of me! I-I'm not afraid!"
, he stammers, but quickly regains his bardic suavity.
>"Though I am somewhat smitten by your good-looks and impressive stature. And your nose is very, very fine."
He clears his throat and excuses himself to confer with his generals.
But, just as he is about to turn around, a commanding tone freezes him in place.

>"PRINCE MUDY."

He turns back around.

>"What EXACTLY happened to Calavera, the Lichking, the Skullking's great field marshall, twice knighted in the Order of Skulls?
>Such a man DOES NOT suddenly die, 'prince Mudy."
>>
No. 2379 ID: 520be8

>>2378

"Yeeeeeah, about that...I sorta...kinda...beat him at a game of wits on which he had bet control of his army."
>>
No. 2380 ID: ea7daa

>>2378
"I defeated him in a battle of wits, before which he'd stupidly offered to give me control of the entire camp if I won. After which he was sucked into a book while screaming dramatically.
I'm in charge of the camp now, because Calavera gave me command and he was an idiot to make a bet like that and I'm a better commander than he'll ever be. He's dead now. Or stuck.
I don't really know how that works.
But I'm in charge now!
...
Your nose is pretty."
>>
No. 2381 ID: ac4254

"He challenged me to a game."

"He lost."
>>
No. 2382 ID: 8ce2bf

"He challenged me to a game of pleasing women and lost horribly."
>>
No. 2383 ID: c01408

>>2380
>>2382
Combination of these two. WE NEED TO TELL THE TRUTH.
Explain that Calavera willingly agreed to hand the camp over to you if you won, and you did. This camp and its assets are rightfully yours now.

WE NEED TO TELL THE TRUTH WITHIN REASON. We can lie about the rules of the game.
I think Mudy claiming it was about pleasing women is the best bet because odds are he's not even entirely sure what that means, just that it's a good boast.
>>
No. 2384 ID: fb5d8e
File 124676800194.gif - (124.00KB , 800x600 , 103.gif )
2384

>animooted

>"I defeated him in a battle of wits, before which he offered to give me control of the entire camp if I won. When he lost he got sucked into a book.
>I'm in charge of the camp now, because Calavera gave me command and he was an idiot to make a bet like that. He's dead now.
>And I am a bet--"

>"Do you really expect me to BELIEVE THAT?
>That the ENTIRE MOONSHINE CAMPAIGN is going to be CANCELLED because of A GAME OF WITS?!
>Don't play with me, boldling. We may share half of our bloodline, but that does not make you my brother."

Somewhere in the distance, far away, Mudy hears soft voices echoing..
>"prince mudy.. give the order.. we'll kill her... prince mudy.."
>>
No. 2386 ID: 42a775

>>2384

Present LICH GRIMOIRE as proof of your victory
>>
No. 2387 ID: 520be8

>>2386

This.
>>
No. 2388 ID: fb5d8e

>>2386
>>2387
The phylacterybook is in the fortress, you doofusses!
>>
No. 2389 ID: 520be8

>>2388

Bugger all, we should have added that to our inventory when we had the chance.

"What do I need to do to convince you that I'm telling the truth?"
>>
No. 2390 ID: 1afd58

Besides, she doesn't care IF we won, she thinks it's stupid that we think that grants us control of the army.

HAVE THE ARMY KILL HER. IT IS THE ONLY WAY.
>>
No. 2391 ID: 42a775

>>2388

Fine then.

'Nobody said anything about canceling the campaign.'
>>
No. 2393 ID: fb5d8e
File 124677034180.png - (59.42KB , 800x600 , 104.png )
2393

Mudy just manages to push out a hoarse
>"Nobody said anything about canceling the campaign."

The Blutjaeger drops Mudy on the ground.
He gasps, clutching his neck.

>"Vhe've got tis, prince!"
, Darkmoon cries out, followed by Totenkopf,
>"Just say ze word and she's gone!"

Raital ignores them.
>"So you're saying YOU can conquer Moonshine? A little rat like you?
>Let's say I allow that, and let you lead yourself and your idiotic little army into ruins.
>What exactly will you do, huh?"
>>
No. 2394 ID: 1afd58

>>2393
I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll STILL have a better outfit than you. You look like you just walked out of a goddamned Circus.
>>
No. 2395 ID: 7eda8b

Slowly teeter to your feet. Try not to look scared.

"If you don't think this army is worth anything, why would you even raise it and send it here? And why would you care if I lead it poorly?"

(Personally, I'm pretty pleased with how quickly they put arrows into her. Sure, she's full of magic so they didn't actually hurt her, but quick reflexes is the most we can really ask of faceless underlings.)
>>
No. 2396 ID: 42a775

>>2393

'I conquered Calavera, didn't I?'
>>
No. 2397 ID: 42a775

>>2396

Addendum: Assume appropriate badass one-liner expression
>>
No. 2398 ID: ea7daa

>>2393
"Something amazing."
"Right now, under Calavera, we were just following orders. We're just a spearhead tactic, meant to clear the way for the bigger army. A distraction at best. The truth is, the Skullking could probably conquer Moonshine by himself. And we'll never get any thanks for it, because we were just following orders."
"Wouldn't you rather do something better than that? Wouldn't you rather conquer your own kingdoms for the Skullking? Wouldn't you rather stop doing just what the Skullking says, and start doing what the Skullking wants?"
"We could conquer more than just Moonshine. We can conquer villages. Whole other kingdoms. We could do all sorts of things. Things he never asked us to but things he'd wanted anyway. That's called initiative. It means we do things that make us important. Wouldn't you like to be more than fifth heir to the throne? Wouldn't you like to be fourth or third or second?"
"Wouldn't you like to do something that'll make him, no, EVERYONE stand up and take notice? About how great you are?"
"Wouldn't you like to do something amazing?"

...

"You could try to kill me, and maybe, even with the generals here, you could succeed in that. But what then? Calavera would still be lost. The campaign would die. There'd be nothing left to do here."
"But I say we can do something, something that'll make us great."

"Let's do something amazing."
>>
No. 2399 ID: 520be8

>>2398

I don't know what consequences this approach might take, but it's so awesome I don't even care.

This.
>>
No. 2402 ID: 1afd58

>>2398
that
>>
No. 2403 ID: 7eda8b

>>2398
Well that's the action decided.
>>
No. 2405 ID: fb5d8e
File 12467723118.png - (59.59KB , 800x600 , 105.png )
2405

>"Something amazing."

With a look of cold determination Mudy forces himself back to his feet.

>"Right now, under Calavera, we were just following orders. We're just a spearhead tactic, meant to clear the way for the bigger army. A distraction at best. The truth is, the Skullking could probably conquer Moonshine by himself. And we'll never get any thanks for it, because we were just following orders."

He pauses to catch his breath. His throat hurts something awful, but he can't show it.
The Blutjaeger seems taken aback by the eloquence of his speech.

>"Wouldn't you rather do something better than that? Wouldn't you rather conquer your own kingdoms for the Skullking? Wouldn't you rather stop doing just what the Skullking says, and start doing what the Skullking wants?"

Part of Raital's scowl begins to fade.

>"We could conquer more than just Moonshine. We can conquer villages. Whole other kingdoms. We could do all sorts of things. Things he never asked us to but things he'd wanted anyway. >That's called initiative. It means we do things that make us important. Wouldn't you like to be more than fifth heir to the throne? >Wouldn't you like to be fourth or third or second?"

Seeing the effect it has, Mudy takes another breather. Raital's eyes remain fixed on him; cold but curious instead of fiercely hostile.

>"Wouldn't you like to do something that'll make him, no, EVERYONE stand up and take notice? About how great you are?"

Mudy feels his blood starting to flow with the strength of his words.

>"Wouldn't you like to do something amazing?"

Now the generals realize what is happening. They stop their yelling, and finally see what exactly it was that defeated their former master.

>"You could try to kill me, and maybe, even with the generals here, you could succeed in that. But what then? Calavera would still be lost. The campaign would die. There'd be nothing left to do here."
, Mudy continues, preparing for the final blow,
>"But I say we can do something, something that'll make us great."

>"Let's do something amazing."

Then, for the first time, Raital breaks eyecontact and looked away.
>>
No. 2406 ID: fb5d8e
File 124677232299.png - (30.43KB , 800x600 , 106.png )
2406

Raital clears her throat.
It is more than obvious that she has been knocked off-balance.

>"..That.."
She opens her mouth several times, but only sounding gasps.
>"...I have to think about it. Will.. Will you give me some time?"
>>
No. 2407 ID: 520be8

>>2406

"All the time you need, milady." And then bow in a gentlemanly manner.
>>
No. 2408 ID: 1afd58

>>2406
NOW. NOW IS THE TIME TO STRIKE.

Give the signal and have the generals gut her while she's distracted!
>>
No. 2409 ID: 7eda8b

Give a broad gesture around the fortress with an open palm. Give a charming, yet unsettling, mastermind grin.

"My castle is yours, my dear. Please, make yourself comfortable and do not feel rushed."
>>
No. 2410 ID: ea7daa

>>2406 >>2407
"All the time you need."
Have one of our Plague Doctor secretaries show her somewhere comfortable, where she can think.
>>
No. 2411 ID: c01408

To control a dog with fear is a challenge any brute can match. Any leader can drag his hound along by the scruff of its neck, fearing for its life as it toils in his shadow. But when such a man is in danger, the tides will turn, and his most loyal follower will see its chance for freedom hanging so preciously in view. And it shall take it, leaving him with nothing but his solitude, and a long walk to the gallows.
A bond of fear is broken the moment the master drops his leash.

But a bond of trust, of respect -- that is true power. For when a man and his dog truly understand each other and toil together towards a common goal, then is the mettle of a true leader tested. The dog needs no leash, and the man needs no fear.
And when such a man is in danger, his most loyal compatriot and ally will jump to his side, ready and willing to put its own life on the line for his.

Any ruffian can bark orders backed by fear. But it takes a LEADER to earn the respect of his men.

Mine is the true face of a leader.
>>
No. 2412 ID: 04603a

>>2398
I heartily support this course of actions.
>>
No. 2413 ID: fb5d8e
File 12467743061.png - (52.50KB , 800x600 , 107.png )
2413

>"All the time you need, milady."
Mudy bites through the pain and makes a bow most elegant.
>"My castle is yours, my dear. Please, make yourself comfortable and do not feel rushed."

>"I'll.. I'll follow you back, then."
>>
No. 2414 ID: fb5d8e
File 12467743821.png - (27.73KB , 800x600 , 108.png )
2414

SHIIINNGGG

>END CHAPTER SIX
>>
No. 2416 ID: 520be8

>>2414

HOO-RA!
>>
No. 2417 ID: fb5d8e
File 124677490460.png - (43.32KB , 800x600 , 109.png )
2417

>CHAPTER 6 EPILOGUE

>zzz
>>
No. 2418 ID: 227d44

>>2405
Bad. Ass.

>>2398
Kudos to this man, holy shit.
>>
No. 2419 ID: bffa2a

Well this took another turn to awesome. But what now. Obviously we are not evil and will need to decide the course to follow. I am willing to go along with the NEW PLAN because we don't need to forge an evil empire. Something we were going to do anyway. Why our kingdom will be one of the most advanced and free in whole continent. And it will be strong because of it. The problem is how we go about doing it.

And we are doing it because no way I'm ready yet to gut a boldling, undead or otherwise. Even with ribcages or other under the clothes. A new meeting with advisors is in order before we present our plan.

Did I mention this is awesome now.

>>2418
>>>2398
>>>Kudos to this man, holy shit.

Truth.
>>
No. 2420 ID: c80cec

>>2419
We have begun to earn the respect of our men and our generals. Once they become completely loyal to us, we can express our desire to head in a better -- good -- direction. The best thing we can do until then is try to avoid doing evil things, and focus on doing epic things around our men to inspire loyalty.
>>
No. 2421 ID: c01408

>>2417
OH MY GOD she's topless
Mudy don't look

I knew there was a reason she wanted to spend the night in the barracks with the men
>>
No. 2422 ID: bffa2a

>>2420

Or show how much easier it is to get the loyalty of villages by protecting them from monsters or solving their problems. Even if that protection is from us. Then we can move to towns and mayby cities. It will be an offer they can't refuse. We will be the godfather of boldkind.
>>
No. 2423 ID: 670155

She seems keen enough to notice that we're not being evil.
>>
No. 2430 ID: 227d44

Oh yeah, I dub thee >>2405
the "Something Amazing Speech" or something epic like that. CMOA, anyone?
>>
No. 2435 ID: bde1b8

Suggested course of action: Forget about the haughty elf princess, chase after adorable half-kobold of ridiculous power.
>>
No. 2438 ID: fb5d8e
File 12468220393.png - (32.47KB , 800x600 , 110.png )
2438

>BEGIN CHAPTER 7
>"THE LOVERS"
>>
No. 2440 ID: fb5d8e
File 124682241352.png - (38.88KB , 800x600 , 111.png )
2440

The march back was silent and the air was heavy. Noone had anything to say anymore. Rather, everyone was reflecting on the current situation. On themselves.

Upon reaching the stronghold Mudy called Rune and Ivar to show their new Blutjaeger guest to the best room and make sure she was comfortable.
The skullmen went back to their patrols and barracks, while the generals left for their private quarters.



Phew.
Mudy slumps back in his throne. How long will be able to keep this up? Will he always be able to speak with such intensity in dire situations?
Right now, he just wants some rest.
>>
No. 2441 ID: 1afd58

>>2440
Nothing wrong with quickly rubbing out one, nose-wise, to relax, Mudy.
>>
No. 2442 ID: 036360

A time of reflection maybe?

To ponder his goals? His reason for starting this entire quest for love? His past before this all started? His future?

Okay a bit silly, but thinking about things seems like a thing he'd do now that he has the chance.
>>
No. 2444 ID: 7eda8b

Now that we've convinced our new friend to follow along with something truly amazing, it is time to think of a plan. We don't need to tell the details to anyone yet, but we certainly need to think of one.

In the meantime, let's open the Phylactery book.
>>
No. 2445 ID: d75539

>>2440

Well, if Mudy wants to rest.. we could always try playing from another character's perspective for this chapter..
>>
No. 2446 ID: 7eda8b

I don't believe we can properly think of something amazing without knowing more about our surroundings.
>>
No. 2448 ID: fb5d8e
File 124682473578.gif - (279.75KB , 800x600 , 112.gif )
2448

Mudy sighs. He's feeling a little tensed.. but a different kind of tension. There's just this need to rub his nose.. How emberassing!
But after all this stress he feels he deserves to feel good for a bit.
He brings his hand to his nose..

>animooted
>>
No. 2449 ID: 7eda8b

Say "Oh. Hi. I was just scratching an itch. I've been feeling a little odd after the strangling."
>>
No. 2450 ID: fb5d8e
File 124682519055.png - (46.84KB , 800x600 , 113.png )
2450

>"Oh. Hi. I was just scratching an itch. I've been feeling a little odd after the strangling."
, Mudy quickly says.
Raital stares in silence for a moment.
>"I-I'll come back later."
>>
No. 2451 ID: fb5d8e
File 124682525411.png - (38.70KB , 800x600 , 114.png )
2451

Raital leaves the room in a flash, leaving Mudy to himself again.
He sighs deeply.
That sure did kill the mood. What now?
>>
No. 2452 ID: 48607b

>>2451
Make sure to lock the door next time.
Have a walk outside, look for suspicious activity.
>>
No. 2454 ID: c01408

Follow Raital. She's obviously up to something.
If not, we can catch up with her and discuss her plans more in detail.

If she's in her quarters, be sure to barge right in rather than knocking.
>>
No. 2455 ID: fb5d8e
File 124682630382.png - (22.53KB , 800x600 , 115.png )
2455

Before heading outside Mudy scores a quick look at the book left behind by Calavera.

Eerie.
>>
No. 2456 ID: 7eda8b

>>2455
Yeah. THAT name with THAT accent? Talk about eerie.

Open to a random page. Be prepared to duck below the desk and tip one of the candles onto the book if you see any laser eyes.
>>
No. 2458 ID: bffa2a

>>2455

Ask your secretaries about the book. No opening magical lich holding devices before knowing something of it.
>>
No. 2459 ID: fb5d8e
File 124682683948.png - (26.51KB , 800x600 , 116.png )
2459

Once outside Mudy is confronted with a large crowd, standing in a circle around something, hollering and yelling.
A few soldiers seem to be making bets.
>>
No. 2461 ID: bffa2a

>>2459

Investigate. It better not be Axebeard crippling our men.
>>
No. 2462 ID: 48607b

>>2459
Lean on the nearest wall, cross your arms and lower your hat. Listen to what they're saying.
>>
No. 2465 ID: 7eda8b

Sneak between and around everyone's legs to get at the action.

>>2458
Sissy.
>>
No. 2466 ID: fb5d8e
File 124682754691.png - (25.09KB , 800x600 , 117.png )
2466

Mudy leans against the wall of his fort and lowers his hat to listen in on the soldiers.

>"Come on, hurry up."
>"Okay, ten coins on Darkmoon."

>"ZEY STARTED! Zey are going to tear eachozer apart!"
>"Ze prince will never be here in time!"

>"20 coins on Totenkopf!"
>"You got a bet!"
>>
No. 2470 ID: e49ef9

>>2466
Acquire megaphone, clear throat loudly through it.
Or nab two people to give you a boost and see what's going on.
>>
No. 2471 ID: 1afd58

>>2466
Go watch the two have their making out contest.
>>
No. 2472 ID: 86cb00

>>2466
A better approach would be to look at the fight without revealing yourself. They might not tell you the whole story if you just break them apart before anything happens.
>>
No. 2473 ID: 7eda8b

That's enough of this.

Use your 4e special kobold ability to run between everyone's legs to get to the front rank, then demand to know what started this.

"Underlings dueling to the death without permission?!"
>>
No. 2474 ID: c01408

This calls for immediate action. Hurry to the scene of the confrontation. Assuming this isn't some sort of misleading banter and they're about to have a big and serious fight, we need to break things up and have the two work out their tsundere passions for each other.
>>
No. 2475 ID: bffa2a

>>2466

Oh, we better go have a look. If they have started already it's unwise to stop it abrubtly. But we can get close enough to give a menacing glance to tell them that whoever survives won't enjoy it for long.
>>
No. 2482 ID: fb5d8e
File 124682912157.png - (36.37KB , 800x600 , 118.png )
2482

Mudy dashes to the front, using his small size to quickly pass all the men.
In the middle of the circle stand Totenkopf and Darkmoon with blood in their eyes.
The air smells of fire and steel, but neither of them is injured. It is clear that they are well matched.

>"Underlings dueling to the death without permission?!"
, Mudy yells out.

>"She started it!"
>"He started it!"
>"Arrogant-"
>"Cowardly-"
>"Unmannered-"
>"Honorless-"
..
>>
No. 2485 ID: c01408

>>2482
All right, that tears it.
Take them back to our chamber, let them struggle to explain what this is about while nodding silently. Then, when it's all over, order them to make out.
ORDER.

They need to get this tsundere love/hate crush out of their system before they kill each other.
>>
No. 2486 ID: e49ef9

>>2482
Order them INSIDE, now.
Use BARDIC AUTHORITATIVE VOICE.
>>
No. 2487 ID: ea7daa

>>2482
"And how, exactly, was it started?"
>>
No. 2491 ID: 4aa777

>>2482
Didn't I warn you two about this? I think it is time for a little make out session.
>>
No. 2492 ID: 7eda8b

"You two, see me in my office. You're embarrassing yourselves and you're embarrassing me. You can explain this there, and then I will decide what to do with you."
>>
No. 2493 ID: fb5d8e
File 124682958789.png - (34.98KB , 800x600 , 119.png )
2493

Mudy orders them inside. At first they begin to object, but Mudy repeats his order with INTENSITY.
Under disappointed sighs of the soldiers Mudy silently leads them into the fortress.

>"And how, exactly, was it started?"
, Mudy asks when they are all seated.
Within the second both generals begin to yell accusations at the same time. Mudy can't understand a word of it.
>>
No. 2494 ID: c01408

ENOUGH.
We warned them. We told them exactly what would happen if they fought again, and in no uncertain terms.

Time to put our foot down.
Time to order them to make out.
Look on sternly. Prove you are serious.
DEAD serious.
>>
No. 2495 ID: e49ef9

>>2493
Leave the room, hang Do Not Disturb sign on door.
>>
No. 2496 ID: 2f3ba9

Hot sexy make out session as punishment.
>>
No. 2497 ID: 1afd58

>>2493
Ask Darkmoon to explain her side first. Order Totenkopf to be quiet while she talks. When she is done, tell her to be quiet while he tells his side.
>>
No. 2498 ID: bffa2a

>>2493

"One at a time please? It's like Im dealing with children."
>>
No. 2500 ID: 7eda8b

"What IS it with you two? You've been at one another's throats since I arrived. Frankly, I don't care enough to force you to work through one another's problems. Do you have any ACTUAL disagreements, or is this just grating personalities? If it's the latter, it is time for each of you to begin talking me into having the other killed."
>>
No. 2501 ID: 3ccb64

Normally I'd say have them explain one at a time, but we did say we'd have them make out. If we go back on our word now, especially when it involves punishments and repercussions of acting against our leadership, it'll make us look soft and weak. We have to follow through with our threat. We have to order them to make out.
>>
No. 2502 ID: c01408

>>2500
Mudy would never kill one of his own men! Even if he was a female man!
>>
No. 2503 ID: ea7daa

>>2493
"ONE AT A TIME, PLEASE"
Also, making out is a bit harsh. Maybe just a little 'kiss and make up'.
>>
No. 2504 ID: fb5d8e
File 124683024942.png - (35.47KB , 800x600 , 120.png )
2504

>"One at a time, please? It's like I'm dealing with children."
, Mudy interrupts them gently.
He tells Darkmoon to tell her side first while Totenkopf remains quiet.
The lich's red eyes dim till his skull's slits are black, as if he's not listening anymore.

>"Vhell!"
, General Darkmoon begins as she tries to calm down,
>"Tis man.. Bah! From te moment I arrivink here, he tryink to impress everyone. He not be Skullkink bloodline, is all lie, I am knowink this! He need be not pussy faggot and be proud of what he is. Is annoyink me! His cowardice is makink me angry! And he is never listenink!"

Mudy nods. He tells Totenkopf it's now his turn.
The skull's eyes remain dim, but he begins to speak.
>"I-I am destined for greatness! It's impossible that I'm.. zat I'm not of the Skullking's bloodline! This woman is always trying to crush my dreams while flaunting everything she can be proud of! And she's rude and indecent! I can't stand her."
>>
No. 2506 ID: 1afd58

>>2504
Tell them that they both have no justification behind their claims.

Darkmoon is right to be able to flaunt her incredibly attractive body.

However, for all anyone really knows, Totenkopf might well be destined for greatness, and possibly even of the Skullking's bloodline.

Stop bickering and DO YOUR JOBS.
>>
No. 2507 ID: c01408

Let's recap for them:
So she hates him because he can't recognize his own greatness, the way she can recognize it in him. She is upset at seeing him try to be something he's not, and because he doesn't listen to her.

Meanwhile he hates her because she reminds him of what he really is inside and he becomes uneasy around her flaunted assets.

That's it.
"You are ORDERED to make out. Right now."
>>
No. 2509 ID: 7eda8b

"That's it...? I had assumed you killed one another's parents!

Darkmoon. If Totenkopf was a coward, he would not have so easily tried to fight you to the death. And you don't know who or what he's descended from. Accents don't run in families.

Totenkopf. If your dreams are so great, they should be durable enough to stand up to her words. I don't see what's so important about blood where it comes to liches anyway. You don't have any blood. As for indecency... she's a Drow. That's how they're supposed to dress."
>>
No. 2511 ID: bffa2a

>>2507

Good summary. And Totenkopf obviously didn't listen to our speech of forging our own destinies instead of riding on the coat tails of others.
>>
No. 2512 ID: 670155

My god, those two are going to have a million babies.
>>
No. 2515 ID: fb5d8e
File 124683187580.png - (36.56KB , 800x600 , 121.png )
2515

>"That's it...? I had assumed you killed one another's parents!"
, Mudy exclaims as the start for his speech,
>"Darkmoon. If Totenkopf was a coward, he would not have so easily tried to fight you to the death. And you don't know who or what he's descended from. Accents don't run in families.
>Totenkopf. If your dreams are so great, they should be durable enough to stand up to her words. I don't see what's so important about blood where it comes to liches anyway. You don't have any blood. As for indecency... she's a Drow. That's how they're supposed to dress."

Mudy takes a deep breath. He doesn't want to be harsh on them, but he'll need to discipline them somehow.

He tells them they've been warned.
>"You are ORDERED to make out. Right now."

Darkmoon objects,
>"Sir, I can't, because TOTENKOPF WON'T STOP WEARING THIS THING!!"
>>
No. 2516 ID: fb5d8e
File 124683191057.gif - (68.68KB , 800x600 , 122.gif )
2516

>animooted

Darkmoon suddenly smacks Totenkopf in the face.

>"H-hey!!"
>>
No. 2517 ID: 7eda8b

"I gave you both an order. I'm not interested in excuses!"
>>
No. 2518 ID: 23e2df

So Totenkopf is a D'awwblin, is he?

Repeat the command to make out.
>>
No. 2519 ID: 670155

MY GOD HE's A CYLO-ER KOBOLD.
>>
No. 2520 ID: 670155

OR DAAWBLIN I COULDNT REALLY TELL BEING SO HAMMEREd
>>
No. 2521 ID: 7eda8b

"... Did you happen to get a good look at the Bludjager's face during our encounter earlier?

Maybe you're related to the Skull King after all."
>>
No. 2522 ID: 2f3ba9

>>2521
>>2519
That is a goblin, guys.
>>
No. 2523 ID: d75539
File 124683254810.gif - (26.23KB , 400x211 , GAIJIN4KOBOLD.gif )
2523

>>2516
>>2516
>>2516
>>2516
>>2516
>>2516
>>
No. 2525 ID: bffa2a

>>2516

"Well, isin't this a suprise. While I commend you on a extremly impressive outfit this living in someone elses dreams must stop. Obviously you didn't pay attention when I explained my NEW PLAN. You have chace here to forge a new bloodline worthy of admiration by your own actions. Be the man you have always wanted to be and your blood shall live long into history trough your heirs." Sigh "Of course you would need heirs, can't help you there. Have anyone in mind?"
>>
No. 2526 ID: 2f3ba9

>>2525
I like this one.

Only suggest he make heirs with the drow. They are obviously yandere for eachother.
>>
No. 2527 ID: fb5d8e
File 124683356182.png - (38.70KB , 800x600 , 123.png )
2527

Both of the generals now jump out of their chairs and face off.
>"I needed that to look impressive!"

But Mudy repeats,
>"I gave you both-"
>"Vho do you need to look impressive for, hah?!"
>"No excuse--"
>"Who in the damned's name is going to like some damned goblin?!"
>"Ma--"
>"Like? LIKE?! Vho vhould a wielder of infernal forces vhant to LIKE him?! Vho?! Hah? VHO?!"
>"YOU, DAMN IT!"
>"I ALREADY LIKE YOU!!"
>>
No. 2528 ID: fb5d8e
File 124683356710.png - (37.39KB , 800x600 , 124.png )
2528

>>
No. 2529 ID: 23e2df

>>2528
*Married with Children Style Hoots*
>>
No. 2530 ID: 670155

Problem solved!
>>
No. 2531 ID: 520be8

>>2528

Slowly back out of the room. Give them some time to be alone with each other.
>>
No. 2532 ID: bffa2a

>>2528

Work done. Leave. Fetch secretaries and ask about book.
>>
No. 2533 ID: e49ef9

>>2528
Do >>2495
>>
No. 2534 ID: 2f3ba9

Called it.

Yandere for eachother.

Leave the room to give them both privacy. Find our new kobold girl friend and ask what she wanted before.
>>
No. 2535 ID: 520be8

>>2534

It's "tsundere," dummy. Yandere is the polar opposite of tsundere.
>>
No. 2536 ID: fb5d8e
File 124683396542.png - (38.61KB , 800x600 , 125.png )
2536

Mudy quietly leaves the room. He informs the guards not to let anyone near or in it.

He goes back to his main office to see if Raital is there yet. She isn't.

Mudy climbs back into his throne.
>>
No. 2537 ID: d75539
File 124683400282.gif - (29.95KB , 400x211 , GAIJIN4KOBOLDOHGODS.gif )
2537

>>2528
>>2528
>>2528
>>2528
>>2528
>>
No. 2538 ID: 670155

Opening that giant lich book is a bad idea. Dont do iiiit
>>
No. 2539 ID: 2f3ba9

>>2535
Yandere is the violent lover type. It still means the person is attracted to their target.

They are just creepy psycho stalker about it WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH STAB STAB STAB LOVE MEEEE.

>>2538
That it is a bad idea is precisely why we will do it.
>>
No. 2540 ID: 1afd58

>>2536
RUB NOSE NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME AND PRIVACY FUCK
>>
No. 2541 ID: 520be8

>>2536

See if we can find her.
>>
No. 2542 ID: bde1b8

>>2536
Idly page through Lich book, and explain the current situation aloud to nobody in particular. Hope Calavera is listening inside his book.
>>
No. 2543 ID: 7eda8b

Open the book but hold it near the candle's flame.
>>
No. 2544 ID: 86cb00

>>2542
"Dear evil lich book. Today I found out your old writer's minions are an anime cliche."
>>
No. 2546 ID: bde1b8

>>2544
Oh god yes. Lich book confirmed for Mudy's new diary.
>>
No. 2548 ID: fb5d8e
File 124683535389.png - (38.66KB , 800x600 , 126.png )
2548

Mudy takes the giant tome in front of him and begins to flip through it absent mindedly.

>"Dear Calavera,
>Alot has happened since you left."

Without really knowing why, Mudy begins to tell everything that happened. Details and fears, he pours his heart into the book.
Doing so the stress is slowly seeping out of his body.
>>
No. 2549 ID: fb5d8e
File 124683538330.png - (53.47KB , 800x600 , 127.png )
2549

His eyes catch onto a specific page.
>>
No. 2550 ID: e49ef9

>>2549
Bollocks, no pizza?

Anyway.
Steeple your fingers and laugh menacingly.
>>
No. 2551 ID: 0d7a54

>>2549
Ask Calavera if there are any hard feelings.
>>
No. 2552 ID: bde1b8

>>2549
"Raital's even taller than I am, so yeah, I would guess she's growing. Yeah, you're probably a sadist, but that comes with being a lich, really. You gotta be at least a little evil, or else you'd be Drew. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do now. Probably wait and see the situation unfold, and react from there. About the... Wait, the others are coming here? I um uh... crap."
>>
No. 2553 ID: 670155

>>2549
well we've been working on a plan but it would help to have a little more information about them!
>>
No. 2554 ID: 7eda8b

>>2549
Write "Difficult to plan when one has nearly zero information. Hopefully they won't be expecting her back for at least a few more days. Possibly weeks. They must have great confidence in her.

What I require is more information about the kingdoms around me. If there are no hard feelings, perhaps you could enlighten me?"
>>
No. 2557 ID: 2f3ba9

>>2552
Shiiiii-

We gotta find her and ask her what she wanted. And form a plan with her. One way to get her to follow us would be forming a strong friendship. Make plans with her and make her feel needed.

And we kinda really do need her help big time.

..HEY! She'd know about the others and what they are like and can do. We REALLY need to talk to her now.
>>
No. 2558 ID: e49ef9

>>2551
If there are hard feelings, call him Tom Riddle.
>>
No. 2560 ID: fb5d8e
File 124683634274.png - (65.41KB , 800x600 , 128.png )
2560

When Mudy realizes Calavera actually IS listening, he minds his manners again.
>"It is difficult to plan when one has nearly zero information. Hopefully they won't be expecting her back for at least a few more days. Possibly weeks. They must have great confidence in her.
>What I require is more information about the kingdoms around me. If there are no hard feelings, perhaps you could enlighten me?"

He flips the page.
>>
No. 2562 ID: bde1b8

>>2560
"...Thanks for the help, Calavera."
Take the tomb with us. He shall be our key advisor. Now lets look for Raital.
>>
No. 2563 ID: bde1b8

>>2562
TOME, NOT TOMB. God dammit.
>>
No. 2564 ID: 7eda8b

No way. He can hear everything through the book. We want privacy if we're with Raital.

Let's very quietly sneak into her room. We'll claim we thought she might be sleeping.
>>
No. 2565 ID: 670155

>>2563
Its a tome tomb!
>>
No. 2566 ID: 670155

>>2564
You're forgetting the part where she can rip our head off.
>>
No. 2568 ID: 7eda8b

>>2566
It's for a good cause.
>>
No. 2569 ID: 35cea2

>>2560

>Time heals all

Oh shit, I Calavera is going to be back later. I know it.
>>
No. 2570 ID: bde1b8

>>2569
Of course he will, he's a freaking Lich. But in the meantime, he is the vice president of our book club.
>>
No. 2571 ID: caf9c5

>>2569
You sure this doesn't mean Mudy's time is running out?
>>
No. 2572 ID: fb5d8e
File 124683775044.png - (29.07KB , 800x600 , 129.png )
2572

>"...Thanks for the help, Calavera."
Mudy takes the book under his arm. He feels it's time to look for Raital.
Down a few hallways and some stairs he comes to the door Ivar told him he would take Raital to. Rune is standing in front it.
>"Good afternoon, master. The young mistress informed me she was about to sleep."
>>
No. 2573 ID: bde1b8

>>2572
Knock politely on her door. If she ignores you, come back tomorrow. If she does not, back to our initial plan.
>>
No. 2574 ID: 1afd58

>>2572
Bang loudly on the door and order her to come out and present herself for commands RIGHT NOW.
>>
No. 2575 ID: 670155

Awkwardly knock on the door and say something completely irrelevant to the situation!
>>
No. 2576 ID: 7eda8b

>>2574
NO! BAD!
>>
No. 2577 ID: c80cec

Knock Knock Knockin' on Raital's door ♫
>>
No. 2578 ID: fb5d8e
File 124683861694.png - (28.24KB , 800x600 , 130.png )
2578

Mudy politely knocks on the door.
>"Raital? Are you okay?"
, he asks gently.

The sounds of stumbling erupt on the other side.
>"Y-yes. I'm fine."
, Raital calls back.
>>
No. 2579 ID: bde1b8

Open the door while asking if you can come in.
>>
No. 2580 ID: 0d7a54

>>2578
She's in there rubbin' it furiously, I just know it.
>>
No. 2581 ID: 1afd58

>>2578
She's fine, so open the door and waltz right on in.
>>
No. 2582 ID: bffa2a

>>2581
>>2580

Deathwish.

Crack the door slightly and politely ask if you may come in.
>>
No. 2584 ID: 7eda8b

>"Y-yes. I'm fine."

"Good. I wanted to speak with you in a less formal setting."

Except probably only get through the first half of 'good' before gasping.
>>
No. 2585 ID: fb5d8e
File 124684004081.png - (47.69KB , 800x600 , 131.png )
2585

Mudy opens the door to a crack.
>"Can I come in?"

Raital looks at him from the corner of her eyes.
>"Yeah."
>>
No. 2586 ID: 670155

Offer to help her out with that nose, since its mostly your fault.
>>
No. 2587 ID: 1afd58

>>2585
D'you need help cleaning up? I mean, I can help rub... uh, wipe some of that off if... if you need help.
>>
No. 2588 ID: bde1b8

Ask if she suffers from chronic nosebleeds. Blame it on the low humidity of the area.
>>
No. 2589 ID: 0d7a54

"I've never heard of 'The Skullking Watches' - are they a good band?"

Also - offer some sensual nose assistance.
>>
No. 2590 ID: e49ef9

>>2585
Don't mention earlier incident at all.
>>
No. 2591 ID: fb5d8e
File 124684082816.png - (46.35KB , 800x600 , 132.png )
2591

Mudy enters the room and closes the door behind him. He puts Memento on the chest next to the door.
Raital doesn't pay much attention to him.

After a bit of an awkward silence, Mudy offers to help her clean her nose, but refrains from mentioning the incident.
Raital considers for a bit.
>"...Yeah. Come sit here."
She pats the bed in front of her.
>>
No. 2592 ID: 0d7a54

>>2591
I like where this is headed...
>>
No. 2593 ID: 1afd58

>>2591
Help politely, don't take any liberties and start doing things she doesn't want.

Remember that she's somewhat violent and also powerful enough to kill you without even trying.
>>
No. 2594 ID: bde1b8

>she's somewhat violent and also powerful enough to kill you without even trying.
Mudy is a brave sunuvabitch.
>>
No. 2595 ID: 0d7a54

>>2594
Bear in mind that he's a kobold - A mouse could kill him without even trying.
>>
No. 2596 ID: bffa2a

>>2591

Uh oh, impending doom. "Sorry. I just came by to see how you are doing and to discuss a bit about you, your siblings and the future. I don't have much information to work on and Calavera here hints that your siblings might not be as kind and understanding as you. Mayby we could start with you and work our way from there?" Offer a new rag for her nose.
>>
No. 2597 ID: c80cec

Move over to her and sit where she motioned.
>>
No. 2599 ID: fb5d8e
File 124684184849.png - (37.40KB , 800x600 , 133.png )
2599

Mudy joins her on the bed.
>"Sorry. I just came by to see how you are doing and to discuss a bit about you, your siblings and the future."
, he says as she hands him a clean cloth,
>"I don't have much information to work on and Calavera here hints that your siblings might not be as kind and understanding as you. Maybe we could start with you and work our way from there?"

>"You know I haven't given you an answer yet."
, Raital responds dryly.
>>
No. 2600 ID: 1afd58

>>2599
Begin gently rubbing her nose with the cloth, trying to clean.

"An answer to what, exactly?"
>>
No. 2601 ID: bde1b8

>>2599
"...Oh, you're right, I am sorry. I suppose I will leave then." Bow gracefully, but linger a moment in case she tries to stop you.
>>
No. 2602 ID: c80cec

Gently clean her face with the cloth and ask her coolly if she has an answer yet.
>>
No. 2603 ID: 670155

>>2600
>>2601
Nah.

"Oh dear me, I didnt mean to presume anything." whilst wiping her nose.
>>
No. 2605 ID: e49ef9

>>2599
Apologise for forthrightness, ask for her decision, and be ready to run like a mofo if it's negatory.
Also, find someplace to wet the cloth and make cleaning easier.
>>
No. 2606 ID: 670155

>>2603
In the spirit of keeping the theme that Prince Mudy is indeed one suave motherfucker.
>>
No. 2608 ID: 7eda8b

>>2600
Whether she'd join us, stupid!


Tell her "I'm not asking you to do anything yet, but tell me about yourself."

Smile disarmingly.
>>
No. 2609 ID: 7eda8b

>ask for her decision

NO, STUPID! DO NOT RUSH HER!

"Let's not even talk about the decision. I only want to talk. Bold to Bold."
>>
No. 2610 ID: bffa2a

>>2599

"Yes, I know. But surely there is no harm in telling me a little about yourself. I would like to know you better to put me a little more at ease. You have already shown how powerful you are and I would be grateful if you would soothe my fears... even just a bit?"
>>
No. 2611 ID: fb5d8e
File 124684297452.gif - (40.69KB , 800x600 , 134.gif )
2611

>"Oh dear me, I didnt mean to presume anything."
Mudy brings the rag up to her nose and very gently cleans it.
>"But surely there is no harm in telling me a little about yourself. I would like to know you better to put me a little more at ease. You have already shown how powerful you are and I would be grateful if you would soothe my fears... even just a bit?"
He raises the pitch of his voice just a bit.

Raital makes a sound like a hiccup and shivers.

>"Yeah.. okay.. What do you want to know? I'm the Skullking's fourth child, Blutjaeger of Silver.. I've spend my whole life studying the art of.. killing.."

>animootatoo
>>
No. 2612 ID: 1afd58

>>2611
What is it like having the Skullking as a parent? Is your other parent still around? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be close to someone without killing them?
>>
No. 2613 ID: bde1b8

"Whoa WHOA WHOA! Are you okay!?"
>>
No. 2614 ID: e49ef9

>>2611
Um, wow.
Do we need another cloth?
Or a towel?
Or a circus tent?
Maybe a shamwow?
And/or medical attention?
>>
No. 2615 ID: bc8ef0

"Since you've already mentioned earlier that you are half-kobold, Would I be correct in assuming either your father, the skullking or his wife are Kobolds as well?"
>>
No. 2616 ID: bde1b8

Scramble about with your hands, trying to clean up the excess blood with the cloth as best you can.
>>
No. 2617 ID: e49ef9

>>2611
Um, is...Is that amount of blood normal?
Do you require medical assistance?
>>
No. 2618 ID: 1afd58

>>2611
LAP UP THE BLOOD WITH YOUR TONGUE. DRINK DEEPLY OF HER LIFE ESSENCE.
>>
No. 2619 ID: bffa2a

>>2611
>"I've spend my whole life studying the art >of.. killing.." Impending dooooom.

"But surely there must have been something else too? I like music, I play very decently also. How about you, any hobbies or intrests? Undoubdetly some happy memories from childhood to share. Tell me about your friends and family from those days." New rag.
>>
No. 2620 ID: 7eda8b

Give her a piercing but sympathetic look.

"What kind of man is the Skull King, to teach his daughter nothing but murder?"
>>
No. 2621 ID: fb5d8e
File 124684434093.png - (41.74KB , 800x600 , 135.png )
2621

>"What is it like having the Skullking as a parent? Is your other parent still around?
>Since you've already mentioned earlier that you are half-kobold, Would I be correct in assuming either your father, the skullking or his wife are Kobolds as well?"
, Mudy asks as he scrambles to clean up the new flood.

>"Yeah, she was a kobold. Not a normal one, ofcourse.. Me and my siblings are all of mixed heritage; some a bit.. more.. obvious than others.
>I don't know 'how it is' because I don't have any other family to compare it with, do I..?"

Mudy nods. Though Raital remains scary, being able to talk with her feels good.

>"But surely there must have been something other than killing? I like music, I play very decently also. How about you, any hobbies or intrests? Undoubdetly some happy memories from childhood to share. Tell me about your friends and family from those days."

>"What part of studying my entire life don't you understand, 'prince'?"
Her voice becomes more agitated and she leans forward.
>"Do you think the Skullking has anything else to offer than death?!"

Mudy stammers, desperate to give it a good twist,
>"H-have you ever wondered what it would be like to be close to someone without killing them?"

>"Yes."
Raital answers surprisingly fast.
>"Yes, I have.. but.. what if that 'someone' will leave me? Killing him right away will be much less suffering."
>>
No. 2622 ID: 670155

>>2621

>>"Yes, I have.. but.. what if that 'someone' will leave me? Killing him right away will be much less suffering."

DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON
>>
No. 2623 ID: 1afd58

>>2621
But there is so much more to people than just killing them. Have you ever been hugged? Or had anyone want to be around you just to be around you? Have you ever had someone tell you they love you?

Have you ever... rubbed noses?
>>
No. 2624 ID: bde1b8

>>2623
>But there is so much more to people than just killing them. Have you ever been hugged?

Stop there, and after a dramatic moment, add

>Would you like a hug?
>>
No. 2625 ID: 0d7a54

>"Do you think the Skullking has anything else to offer than death?!"
"He gave you life, didn't he? That warrants some merit."

>"Yes, I have.. but.. what if that 'someone' will leave me? Killing him right away will be much less suffering."
Oh dayum, Gina! Hot elf girl versus Hot halfbold girl - we're between a rock and a hard place.
>>
No. 2626 ID: c80cec

"Have you ever known someone who you could call a friend?"
>>
No. 2627 ID: 670155

>>2625
that elf is dumb as a sack of hammers. we're better off.
>>
No. 2628 ID: 1afd58

>>2623
Have you ever... had someone half your size bend you over a chair and bang your butt 'till you couldn't walk?
>>
No. 2629 ID: ea7daa

"If you don't at least risk it, you'll never know what could have been."
>>
No. 2631 ID: 670155

Meanwhile outside, everyone in the camp has their ear pressed to the door.
>>
No. 2633 ID: 0d7a54

>>2627
Bitches Love Mudy
>>
No. 2634 ID: bffa2a

>>2621
>Killing him right away will be much less suffering.

Holy shit, plans backfiring so bad.

Try to put a brave face Mudy "No, the only things people regret is the things they don't do or say when they had the chance. If you go trough life doing nothing meaningful it will be a shallow torment of an existance where you will second guess yourself right to the end. Take a chance and see what life has to offer." Clasp her hands "Take a chance with me."

Welp, we are probably dead. When was our last save?
>>
No. 2635 ID: 670155

>>2634
Too forward!...maybe.
>>
No. 2636 ID: fb5d8e
File 124684550826.png - (39.08KB , 800x600 , 136.png )
2636

Raital's expressions remains cold, but she's aggressively pushing against Mudy.
Mudy clears the fear from his throat.
>"But there is so much more to people than just killing them. Have you ever been hugged? Or had anyone want to be around you just to be around you? Have you ever had someone tell you they love you?"

Raital remains silent.

>"If you don't at least risk it, you'll never know what could have been."

She finally stops leaning in further.

>"Would you like a hug?"

>"..Yes."
>>
No. 2637 ID: 7eda8b

Hug Raital.
>>
No. 2638 ID: bde1b8

Welp, you heard the lady. Hug tiem.
>>
No. 2639 ID: 520be8

>>2636

Hug Raital. Slip cloth away. Press your nose against hers.
>>
No. 2640 ID: 1afd58

>>2636
Toss the rag to the floor with your snout, then gently reach around her and hug her close. If she pulls away, let her go, but otherwise hold her and let her be happy for a moment. Until she stabs you in the back or something.
>>
No. 2641 ID: 0d7a54

Hug Raital.
Read Cloth.
>>
No. 2643 ID: e49ef9

>>2636
Only a sopping cloth is stopping this from being straight-on noserubban.
I thought /quest/ was relatively worksafe?
Also, no reason not to hug her.
>>
No. 2644 ID: bde1b8

>>2643
Think of it as the cutebold condom. Its safe rubbin' for now.
>>
No. 2645 ID: fb5d8e
File 124684623497.png - (44.84KB , 800x600 , 137.png )
2645

Mudy puts the cloth aside and leans into Raital, gently wrapping his arms around her.
She does not return the hug, but Mudy can feel her tense muscles relaxing.

She sighs deeply.

>"I find you incredibly attractive, Mudy.
>Swear on your soul that you will be mine for eternity."
>>
No. 2646 ID: bffa2a

>>2636

Oh she's going to break our back. Slowly hug her. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, I would never do that intentionally. You know that don't you?" It will be over soon.
>>
No. 2647 ID: bde1b8

"...That's very forward of you. Sure, why not."
>>
No. 2648 ID: 520be8

>>2645

Laugh softly. "You don't waste time, do you?"
>>
No. 2649 ID: 670155

>>2645

Haha oh wow, sure why not.

in b4 eternal thrall.
>>
No. 2650 ID: 1afd58

>>2645
Ugh, God no, bitch, get off my nuts.

I was just trying to hug you.
>>
No. 2651 ID: 0d7a54

Her father is a lich (presumably), so this request is most likely very literal.

Think of some suave way to dodge the request.
>>
No. 2652 ID: bffa2a

>>2646

Oh, slowpoke. Still works. Just add "I promise".
>>
No. 2653 ID: 520be8

>>2648

Addendum: "..That...I have to think about it. Will.. Will you give me some time?"
>>
No. 2654 ID: 7eda8b

Just say "Shhh." Hug her.

Say "I told you, I'm not rushing you into any decisions. Don't rush yourself into one, either. Especially not one so large as this."
>>
No. 2655 ID: 1afd58

>>2645
We swear, so long as she swears that she will never hurt us, and as long as she knows that other women have caught our eye in the past and may still hold interest in us, though we'd never leave her for them.
>>
No. 2656 ID: bffa2a

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, I would never do that intentionally. You know that don't you?" "I promise"
>>
No. 2657 ID: 0d7a54

>>2655
>as long as she knows that other women have caught our eye in the past and may still hold interest in us, though we'd never leave her for them.

I see great harm coming our way if we do this.
>>
No. 2658 ID: c80cec

We gotta dodge our way outta this until we can teach her more about how the world works outside of murder...
>>
No. 2659 ID: 7eda8b

If this were Exalted, we would execute what is known as a Perfect Social Dodge.
>>
No. 2660 ID: bffa2a

I was assuming we had completely gotten over the elf and directed our intrest in the hot, hot, crazy kobold chick. At least she's my pick.
>>
No. 2661 ID: bde1b8

>>2654
This.

This this this this this this.
>>
No. 2662 ID: 0d7a54

>>2645
"I am still in the service of your father, and unfortunately I cannot make that promise until we have achieved victory. I promise you, though, that on that day, we shall be together."
>>
No. 2663 ID: da4b33

Mudy no! You are trying to break The Rule!

The Rule is "Never fuck anyone crazier than you"
>>
No. 2664 ID: fb5d8e
File 124684696579.png - (47.66KB , 800x600 , 138.png )
2664

>"Shhh."
Mudy squeezes her gently.
>"I told you, I'm not rushing you into any decisions. Don't rush yourself into one, either. Especially not one so large as this."

The Blutjaeger sighs again. She wraps her arms around Mudy.
>"Mudy.. You have such a way with words.
>You are making my heart burn, yet I can not force you to douse it.."

Suddenly there is a knock on the door.
>"Young master? Your presence is requested."
>>
No. 2665 ID: 520be8

>>2664

Lightly rub your nose against hers, before going to get the door.
>>
No. 2666 ID: 1afd58

>>2664
Yell "HEY CAN'T YOU TELL I'M BUSY TRYING TO GET INTO THIS CHICK'S PUFFY PANTS? STOP TRYING TO NOSEBLOCK ME YOU SKULLGUY."
>>
No. 2667 ID: bde1b8

>>2664
"...I'm sorry, Raital, but it looks like I'm needed. Would you like to come with?"
>>
No. 2668 ID: 227d44

>>2664
FFFFFF- Excuse yourself politely and ask what they require of you.
>>
No. 2669 ID: 0d7a54

>>2664
Whew, crisis averted.

Glare at the door angrily for interrupting our deep-hugging session, but then apologize to Raital.

"I'm sorry my dear, but duty calls."
>>
No. 2670 ID: c80cec

Excuse yourself, and don't forget to grab calavera's tome on your way out.
>>
No. 2671 ID: 7eda8b

QUEST OBJECTIVE RECEIVED: Legalize Polygamy
>>
No. 2672 ID: 1afd58

>>2664
Just leave her with one last sweet nothing:

"You know what they say, baby. Once you go 'bold, it never gets old."
>>
No. 2673 ID: bde1b8

>>2671
You do that, and Raital murders us. I vote we give up on the Moonshine princess.
>>
No. 2674 ID: bffa2a

>>2664

Hey, we're not dead? Joy. Excuse ourself politely if she lets us.
>>
No. 2675 ID: fb5d8e
File 124684786183.png - (49.46KB , 800x600 , 139.png )
2675

>"...I'm sorry, Raital, but it looks like I'm needed. Would you like to come with?"
Mudy slowly pulls away from Raital, who lets her hands slump down.
>"Yeah.. I'll join you in a bit."
>>
No. 2678 ID: abd041

>>2675
For the love of god, take Uncle Book-dweller with you. DO NOT LEAVE HER UNATTENDED WITH THAT WELL OF INFORMATION.
>>
No. 2679 ID: e49ef9

>>2675
Cheeknuzzle, then walk out.
Wink if she says anything as we walk out.
>>
No. 2680 ID: fb5d8e
File 124684806013.png - (30.00KB , 800x600 , 140.png )
2680

Mudy quietly leaves the room with Memento.

He asks Ivar what the problem is.
The cold voice brings unwelcome news,
>"Our patrols have spotted a man wearing ze Skullking emblem heading zis way."



>END OF CHAPTER SEVEN
>>
No. 2682 ID: 670155

and stay beyond arms length this time.
>>
No. 2683 ID: 227d44

>>2680
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU-

We are SO fucked once the SkullKing finds out that we've been "fraternizing" with Raital.
>>
No. 2684 ID: 0d7a54

>>2680
Oh shi-
Might be useful to have Raital close by just in case.

Also: Mudy looks like he could be one of Raital's stuffed animals. The ones... the ones she keeps hidden, that is...
>>
No. 2685 ID: 0d7a54

>>2683
Well, we know the SkullKing has a thing for 'bolds, plus he called Calavera "sweety", so maybe he won't be such a bad guy.
>>
No. 2686 ID: 227d44

>>2684
You mean the ones with strap-ons attached to them?

>>2685
Note the word "maybe".
>>
No. 2687 ID: c01408

>>2685
The Skullking is a woman, we've covered this already.
Skullking's a queen.
>>
No. 2688 ID: 2f3ba9

Just a warning/reminder

We met that princess early on. If we hook up with our friend here, that means giving up on her. A little too late to have second thoughts though.

We might need to be ready to meet her again. Also, new motivation since we no longer need to pretend to be a transformed prince.
>>
No. 2689 ID: 0d7a54

>>2688
Elf broads are a dime a dozen.
Halfbolds are intriguingly exotic and rare.

I think our choice is clear.
>>
No. 2690 ID: 7eda8b

I have to admit, Raital is much more compelling. She's an incredibly dangerous yet incredibly vulnerable woman. The elf chick is all "Tee hee, I guess we can get married if you show my daddy your riches and proof of royalty and make your signature on forms B, C, and F."
>>
No. 2691 ID: 520be8

The trick is turning the elf princess down lightly.
>>
No. 2692 ID: 7eda8b

>>2691
"I'm sorry. I was wrong. Also, there's this Elf knight I met who was really nice..."
>>
No. 2693 ID: a3b36a

Obviously, Mudy has a thing for taller women...
>>
No. 2694 ID: abd041

>>2693
I don't think he has much choice in the matter.
>>
No. 2695 ID: e49ef9

>>2692
>>2691
The trick is matchmaking between the two of them and making it look like their idea.
We don't want to dump the princess.
We want the princess to dump us.
>>
No. 2696 ID: 7eda8b

>>2695
How hard could that be?

"Turns out I'm stuck like this forever."
>>
No. 2697 ID: ac4254

The trick is to become evil with her and become the most powerful people in the world. Fuck the elf.
>>
No. 2698 ID: 670155

>>2697

screw that, we should aim for just as planned "This evil empire isnt evil at all!"
>>
No. 2699 ID: 04603a

>>2697
I don't have a problem with becoming "evil", but swearing fealty to the Skullking is something we want to avoid. At least unless there's no other way to survive, or if we know it will be temporary and we can gain from it and no longer be oathbound within a short timespan.
Ultimately, we want to acquire a kingdom and a more powerful army, and somehow make the Skullking no longer a threat. Those first two objectives are easy, and can be achieved by doing what we've been doing. The last is not easy. And if we kill him outright, Raital will probably be pissed.
>>
No. 2700 ID: 04603a

>MUDY HAS SUCCUMBED TO ILLNESS:
>LOVE
How does that work in game terms, anyway?
Are we even capable of choosing Raital over the elf?
>>
No. 2701 ID: 04603a

>>2700
Might we be polyamorous? Or might our disease perhaps just change targets?
>>
No. 2702 ID: fb5d8e

>>2700
>>2701

LOVE
Severe illness

Victim must do everything in its power to be with their love interest. If this is not immediately possible the victim must do everything in its power to make it possible.
Love can be one-sided, usually with tragic consequences.
The victim gains a resistance to other sources that may infect it with Love. If infected with Love again anyway, the victim falls into Despair.

CURE:
Love goes away after 2 to 10 years, but have been known to last longer, even continueing after a victim's death.
Since Love is not of a physical nature all treatment must be magical. Some mages specialize in Love-magic.

LORE:
One of the oldest binding illnesses known, Love has been abused through out the ages. Mortals who use Love to gain what they want are common, but more feared are Demons who use Love to control mortals for eternity.

LOVE counters HATE.
LOVE becomes HATE when mixed with BETRAYAL.
>>
No. 2703 ID: ff634f

You know, at some moment we should find time to do something about Calavera. Because we have enough problems already to worry, we don't need a revengeful Lich coming back to disintegrate our ass out of existance.
>>
No. 2704 ID: 04603a

>>2702
Hmm. So effectively, we'll need to be betrayed in order to really be free for Raital. This is not an optimal situation. But I expect that betrayal will come quickly. The elf prince may well have taken her off already, which would mean we need only discover this betrayal. For now, though, love persists.
Raital will not be pleased.
>>
No. 2705 ID: 04603a

>>2703
He lost fair and square. I doubt he'll do anything like that, particularly considering how helpful he's been.
>>
No. 2706 ID: fb5d8e
File 124686702243.png - (45.26KB , 800x600 , 141.png )
2706

>CHAPTER 7: EPILOGUE

>"No.. it feels weird."
>"It vhill feel good in a second."
>"I don't know, Dagger.."
>"Just be holdink still."
>"Hmn.."
>"Tere.."
>>
No. 2707 ID: fb5d8e
File 12468670953.png - (28.12KB , 800x600 , 142.png )
2707

>"..Well? How does it look?"
>"You are lookink so cute!"
>"I'm not looking for cute! I want to look terrifying."
>"How about incredibly sexy?"
>"..I can accept that."

>END EPILOGUE
>>
No. 2708 ID: e49ef9

>>2707
Why do I see that being constantly smudged in the near future?
>>
No. 2712 ID: fb5d8e
File 124688279138.png - (31.94KB , 800x600 , powertable.png )
2712

>689 posts?
>BONUS CONTENT!
>>
No. 2715 ID: d65b8d

>6/6 Kobold Bard

That table is mildly disconcerting.
>>
No. 2716 ID: 7eda8b

>>2715
But not really very surprising.
>>
No. 2717 ID: 520be8

>>2712

Looks like Axebeard needs to do some leveling.
>>
No. 2727 ID: ac4254

>>2712

>Warmage
>Mage

>LOVE must be cured magically

Maybe we can have Darkmoon cure our dreaded LOVE
>>
No. 2728 ID: 7eda8b

>>2727
If she could cure LOVE, the problem with Totenkopf wouldn't have existed.
>>
No. 2730 ID: bffa2a

Still considering Raital our primary objective. Crazy demonbold out to suck our souls while bleeding profusely is infinetely more intresting than elven bimbo with brain the size of walnut. Let's take our chances with despair. We just have to teach it some more social skills.
>>
No. 2731 ID: 03590e

>>2705

>He lost fair and square. I doubt he'll do anything like that, particularly considering how helpful he's been.

Helpful for now. But I don't see him meekly accepting a second-in-command charge when he comes back.
>>
No. 2732 ID: 42a775

>>2730

You might be, but Mudy is in love.
>>
No. 2734 ID: 670155

Easy way to cure it: Try to have one intelligent conversation with elf princess.
>>
No. 2735 ID: fb5d8e
File 124691415262.png - (32.59KB , 800x600 , 143.png )
2735

>BEGIN CHAPTER 8
>"STRENGTH"
>>
No. 2736 ID: fb5d8e
File 124691455069.png - (55.26KB , 800x600 , 144.png )
2736

Within a short moment's notice Mudy has gathered his generals and sergeant Axebeard to the meeting room.
>"The man is on foot and will reach our camp in one to two hours."
, Ivar informs. Rune adds,
>"The army can be ready for marching in half an hour due to sergeant Goldwomb's efforts."

Axebeard grunts a little.

>"So vhat is beink plan tis time, prince?"
, Darkmoon asks,
>"Vhill you recruit tis one too?"
>>
No. 2737 ID: e49ef9

>>2736
Information: we need MOAR.
>>
No. 2738 ID: 520be8

>>2736

"We don't know whether or not this one will be as...reasonable, as the last one. We'd best be ready for a worst case scenario. Perhaps if we bring Raital along, it will give us some leverage."
>>
No. 2739 ID: 7eda8b

"First: Do we actually know one single thing about who's coming?"

Make a fingers-out CEO-type gesture.
>>
No. 2740 ID: fb5d8e
File 124691533649.png - (54.79KB , 800x600 , 145.png )
2740

>"We don't know whether or not this one will be as...reasonable, as the last one. We'd best be ready for a worst case scenario. Perhaps if we bring Raital along, it will give us some leverage."
, Mudy suggests, and tells them he also requires alot more information.

>"What are you saying?"
, Totenkopf responds,
>"You managed to convince Raital! The fourth Blutjaeger! She might be the youngest, but she's flattened entire kingdoms and is.. was fiercely loyal to the Skullking. You can probably convince the entire world to join us!"

>"Sayink tat.."
Darkmoon pauses, a pondering look on her face.
>"Vhy vhould tey send another Blutjaeger so soon? Noone is doubtink te competence of a Blutjaeger. It must beink someone else."
>>
No. 2741 ID: 7eda8b

Raital hasn't agreed to join us. We cannot order her to do anything. If we try it'll only antagonize her.

Come on, guys.
>>
No. 2742 ID: bffa2a

>>2736

"Unfortunately recruiting one has led us at an impasse. Trying to kill this one would probably mean fighting two at the same time. Reasoning seems the only option and mayby our guest would agree to explain the situation to him." Sigh "Except she has not decided yet and I don't think I like being strangled."
>>
No. 2743 ID: e49ef9

>>2742
So we need to stay in the base, and act like nothing has changed except the leadership.
Receive them like any other messenger, and if they turn out to be here to kill us, act accordingly.
>>
No. 2744 ID: 670155

Diplomacy has been our strongest...strength so far.
>>
No. 2745 ID: bffa2a

>>2740

"Well you would have to ask him wouldn't you. Or better yet ask Raital."

>>2743

"Could Totenkopf here play convincing Calavera?"
>>
No. 2747 ID: 7eda8b

>>2740
>"She might be the youngest, but she's flattened entire kingdoms and is.. was fiercely loyal to the Skullking. You can probably convince the entire world to join us!"

"It's not that simple. Some people have openings. Others do not. I can't rely on charm alone, just as you can't rely on swords alone or magic alone. To know the right course of action, I need to know what I'm up against."
>>
No. 2748 ID: fb5d8e
File 124691669299.png - (55.98KB , 800x600 , 146.png )
2748

"It's not that simple. Some people have openings. Others do not. I can't rely on charm alone, just as you can't rely on swords alone or magic alone."
Mudy sighs dramatically.
"That said, recruiting one has led us at an impasse. Trying to kill this one would probably mean fighting two at the same time. Reasoning seems the only option and mayby our guest would agree to explain the situation to him... Except she has not decided yet."

Mudy ponders for a moment as the generals look to him.
>"Could Totenkopf here play convincing Calavera?""

Totenkopf's eyes light up.
>"Surely you jest! I used to imitate him all the time when I was young. I still have the mask and cloak!"
Darkmoon groans with great adversity.
>>
No. 2749 ID: c01408

>>2740
>The fourth Blutjaeger!
Wait, what?
She's the third daughter and the fifth heir, how is she the fourth anything?
Is she just trying to obtain a spot on enough lists to be the first-through-tenth of something?
>>
No. 2750 ID: e49ef9

>>2748
We'd better hope Raital wasn't listening to that first bit...
>>
No. 2751 ID: bffa2a

>>2748

"It may be neccesary to give the impression that everything is going just as planned. Provided this one is just a messanger checking up on our progress. If it's another blutjaeger then the risk could be too high, unless your willing to take it? We could use the soldiers earrings so I could advise you on what to say."
>>
No. 2752 ID: 7eda8b

>>2750
I don't think it was that offensive...

It seems better than 'Oh yeah I can talk anyone into anything'
>>
No. 2753 ID: bffa2a

>>2751

Ugh. "you are"
>>
No. 2754 ID: fb5d8e
File 124691834035.png - (54.50KB , 800x600 , 147.png )
2754

Mudy nods.
>"It may be neccesary to give the impression that everything is going just as planned. Provided this one is just a messanger checking up on our progress. If it's another Blutjaeger then the risk could be too high, unless your willing to take it? We could use the soldiers earrings so I could advise you on what to say."

Totenkopf radiates with glee.
>"You don't have to ask me twice to imitate Calavera! I'll get my things and earrings and leave immediatly!"

Darkmoon groans again.
>"I better be accompanink you... but vhe are burnink mask and cloak after."

Axebeard perks up.
>"Lad, ah'll go too ta keep an eye on ta men while ye lovebirds do their thing."
>>
No. 2755 ID: fb5d8e
File 124691845130.png - (39.10KB , 800x600 , 148.png )
2755

The generals and sergeant disappear outside to prepare the army for the second march of the day.
Ivar and Rune take Mudy back to his throne room and explain how the crystal ball and the earrings work.

Mudy can indirectly control general Totenkopf, general Darkmoon Dagger, and sergeant Axebeard Goldwomb.
>>
No. 2757 ID: fb5d8e
File 124691849314.png - (38.85KB , 800x600 , 149.png )
2757

Totenkopf and Darkmoon watch their army set out, again. They silently wait for Mudy's commands.
>>
No. 2758 ID: bffa2a

>>2757

Open Calavera's tome and explain the situation, let's see if he's willing to help with the ruse.
>>
No. 2759 ID: 7eda8b

Can we see the approaching dude with our crystal ball? Can anyone describe him?
>>
No. 2760 ID: fb5d8e
File 124691924880.png - (50.61KB , 800x600 , 150.png )
2760

Mudy grabs Memento and asks it for advice, then opens it to a random page.
>>
No. 2761 ID: e49ef9

>>2760
With the added caveat of instructions on their use, I hope.
>>
No. 2762 ID: 670155

D'OH
>>
No. 2763 ID: bffa2a

>>2760

"Dear Calavera, you are a dick. The bet is on."
>>
No. 2764 ID: ac4254

Ha ha ha ha no.
>>
No. 2765 ID: 670155

Oh come on, he's like your only son and you're just gonna let him die?
>>
No. 2766 ID: fb5d8e
File 124692030229.png - (63.91KB , 800x600 , 151.png )
2766

Mudy accepts the bet, but calls Calavera on letting his only resemblance of a son simply die.
He flips the page.


The crystal ball echoes Totenkopf's voice,
>"Prince, the army is well under way. What will you have us do?"
>>
No. 2767 ID: 7eda8b

Oh come on! We probably would've found the artifacts eventually!

Fine, fine, too late to back out now. Fuck. Shit.

Updates on the outside world?
>>
No. 2768 ID: 670155

>>2766

Advise caution.. Ask darkmoon how good totenkopf's impersonation skills really are.
>>
No. 2769 ID: ac4254

Maybe we should get rid of this book or something what with it being his phylacery and him going to kill us when he is revived.
>>
No. 2770 ID: bffa2a

>>2766

"Don't die. Maintain relaxed distance and have scouts indentify the visitor and show the way to our warm welcome. I want to know what it is."

"You do know how to imitate Calavera... don't you? Darkmoon?"
>>
No. 2774 ID: 7eda8b

ACT LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

WE'RE NOT MARCHING THE ARMY TO KILL THIS GUY.

WE'RE JUST ON A TRAINING MARCH.

GOOD FOR YOUR LEGS.

OH HELLO THERE, MESSENGER. WHAT A COINCIDENCE TO FIND YOU JUST AS WE'RE ON A TRAINING MARCH. (GOOD FOR YOUR LEGS)
>>
No. 2775 ID: fb5d8e
File 124692128112.png - (39.13KB , 800x600 , 152.png )
2775

Mudy closes the book and whipes his brow.
>"Don't die. Maintain relaxed distance and have scouts indentify the visitor and show the way to our warm welcome. I want to know what it is."
He rubs the crystal ball to focus the image.
"You do know how to imitate Calavera... don't you? Darkmoon?"

>"Ofcourse! Ofcourse!"
, Totenkopf cries out with enthusiasm.

Darkmoon's response is much less energetic.
>"Like a rabbit pretendink to be fox."
She sighs.
>"Te parade is now vhelcoming our guest. Vhe're at the campgates to be recievink him. How are you wantink us to act vhen vhe are seeink him?"
>>
No. 2778 ID: 7eda8b

"If he's someone big and important, act happy that he's here.

If he doesn't seem big and important, act sort of disappointed because you were expecting someone big and important."
>>
No. 2779 ID: 670155

Well there's no reason not to be polite!
>>
No. 2780 ID: bffa2a

>>2775

"... Now listen to me Totenkopf. It all hangs on the balance now. Friends, loved ones, this whole family of ours is in your hands. I even tried to enlist Calavera to help you out but the jerk laughed at us. He isin't worthy of your admiration and never was. But I believe in you and I would bet my soul on it. So show us all who you really are, this is your moment. Show him your best side."
>>
No. 2781 ID: 670155

>>2780
I dont think they know calavera is still alive..

well as alive as a lich can be.

Go with the training march deal.
>>
No. 2782 ID: 7eda8b
File 124692208354.jpg - (19.84KB , 380x209 , bluffbluff.jpg )
2782

Support Totenkopf's efforts with bard abilities.
>>
No. 2784 ID: fb5d8e
File 124692248025.png - (49.94KB , 800x600 , 153.png )
2784

Slowly, the visitor comes into view of the crystal ball.
Mudy scrambles some inspirational words together.
>"... Now listen to me Totenkopf. It all hangs on the balance now. Friends, loved ones, this whole family of ours is in your hands. I even tried to enlist Calavera to help you out but the jerk laughed at us. He isn't worthy of your admiration and never was. But I believe in you and I would bet my soul on it. So show us all who you really are, this is your moment. Show him your best side."
>"...I understand, prince."

Darkmoon stammers,
>"..Vhat.. Vhat is this man.. He is dressed so strangely.."

Totenkopf throws his hands forward,
"Gutentag, friend! It is I, Calavera, the Lichking! What can I help you with???"

The figure stops in front of the generals and the gates.
>"Caravera. It is an honor to meet you. I am Stormprague, bounty hunter in service of the Skurrking. Has Raitar arrived yet?"
>>
No. 2786 ID: 7eda8b

Have Totenkopf say, "Yesss, but she had an unpleasant trip and iss not to be disturbed. You vill speak to me inshtead."
>>
No. 2787 ID: bffa2a

>>2784

"Yes she has. Offer to fetch her. I'll try asking her not to blow your cover."
>>
No. 2788 ID: bffa2a

>>2786

Hmmm, seems better idea.
>>
No. 2792 ID: 670155

>>2788

Might be too suspicious. She seems up for holding up the ruse.
>>
No. 2793 ID: 7eda8b

>>2792
It'll be bad enough trying to fool this guy without having her spraying noseblood everywhere every time he mentions 'command decisions' or the word 'amazing.'

If we're in deep shit, hopefully she'll show up to save our generals. Hopefully...
>>
No. 2794 ID: fb5d8e
File 12469235039.png - (48.62KB , 800x600 , 154.png )
2794

Mudy gives the order, and Totenkopf speaks, with the most terribly done accent Mudy as ever heard.
>"Yesss, but she had an unpleasant trip and iss not to be disturbed. You vill speak to me inshtead."

Darkmoon groans.


>"Very werr."
, the bounty hunter says,
>"The Order of Skurrs have found Raitar guirty of High Treason. She is to be executed immediatry.
>I wirr be performing the investigation for this case. That means the Moonshine campaign is currentry on hord.
>We expect your furr cooperation, sir Caravera."
>>
No. 2795 ID: 670155

H'OK change of plans time

"Treason, of what kind?"
>>
No. 2797 ID: 7eda8b

Pause for a moment in shock, then say "Young Raital? Dot is ridiculous. Who are you, shum bounty hunter, to question a Blutjaeger? I demand an explanation!"
>>
No. 2799 ID: e49ef9

>>2794
I'm going to need to see proof of this.
One does not accuse the blood of the Skullking without due cause.
>>
No. 2800 ID: ac4254

What everyone else said, but we must tell Raital!

Bring the Crystal ball and tell her. And on the way to her room consult Calavera for his thoughts.
>>
No. 2801 ID: bffa2a

>>2794

Well fuck.

"Treason? Why vas I not Informed? On my grounds..ssss.. I vish to establish the truthfulness of this accusation. Wait here and if this turns out to be true you vill have our full cooperation not a moment before. If you lie I vill have your soul."

"Now please both of you withdraw, somebody has explaining to do before decicions."
>>
No. 2802 ID: 520be8

>>2794

"Stall him! I need to get Raital!"

Go and get Raital.
>>
No. 2803 ID: 7eda8b

>>2800
We need to stop whining to Calavera about every little problem we have.
>>
No. 2804 ID: 670155

It would be wise not to threaten someone sent to KILL THE STRONGEST PERSON IN OUR CAMP
>>
No. 2805 ID: fb5d8e
File 124692413074.png - (49.04KB , 800x600 , 155.png )
2805

Totenkopf easily says what Mudy whispers to him, though fake his accent is getting even worse.
>"Young Raital? Dot is ridiculous. Who are you, shum bounty hunter, to question a Blutjaeger? I demand an explanation!"

The bounty hunter lowers his head.
>"I do not make the raws, sir Caravera. I onry bring back the heads that you royarist wimps can't touch.
>And the Skurrking pays werr. Very werr."
>>
No. 2808 ID: e49ef9

>>2802
I concur.
If nothing else we can claim she found out the jig was up and buggered off.
>>
No. 2809 ID: bffa2a

>>2805

I am still suggestin we say:

>>2801

We need to get our powerbase together for defense.
>>
No. 2810 ID: 520be8

>>2805

We have to bring him in. If we start a conflict, he'll kill our generals. And then the lich gets our soul.
>>
No. 2811 ID: 7eda8b

Go bring Raital the magic ball.
>>
No. 2813 ID: 7eda8b

Tell him that she turned into red glowing energy and fled into Calavera's diary. Then say "I guess you could cut that in half. You'd need some kind of spirit-killing sword to do that, though!"
>>
No. 2815 ID: 13034c

>>2810
We can't pay better than the Skullking.
>>
No. 2816 ID: 520be8

>>2815

I don't mean we have to pay him off, I mean we have to let him into our base.
>>
No. 2818 ID: 670155

could probably take him back to base, reveal our hoax and show him how badly outnumbered he is to get him to stand down.
>>
No. 2819 ID: 670155

And while escorting him to base, try coaxing info out of him.

While also prepping raital for the situation.
>>
No. 2820 ID: fb5d8e
File 12469262813.png - (49.08KB , 800x600 , 156.png )
2820

Mudy quickly thinks of a ruse.
Totenkopf repeats to the bountyhunter that Raital had turned into a red glow and fled into his phylactery book.
>"I guess you could cut that in half. You'd need some kind of spirit-killing sword to do that, though!"

>"I have three."
>>
No. 2821 ID: 520be8

>>2820

"Stay your blade! Under orders from the Skullking or not, I will not have you killing my faithful men!"
>>
No. 2822 ID: 2ffabb

>>2820
Did... did that fucker just slaughter the better part of our army?
>>
No. 2824 ID: bffa2a

... Okay
>>
No. 2825 ID: 670155

clearly he's getting impatient.
>>
No. 2826 ID: 2ffabb

Keep our cool - evil overlords don't bat an eyelash at the loss of a few dozen lackeys.

"Before we deliver you Raital, might you inform us as to her specific crime?"
>>
No. 2827 ID: bffa2a

The End.
>>
No. 2829 ID: fb5d8e
File 124692767459.png - (39.46KB , 800x600 , 157.png )
2829

>"Stay your blade! Under orders from the Skullking or not, I will not have you killing my faithful men!"
Mudy and Totenkopf cry out as he raises his hand,
>"Before we deliver you Raital, might you inform us as to her specific crim--"

>"CUDDRING WITH AN ENEMY OF THE EMPIRE-
>NOW THE BOOK, CARAVERA.
>>
No. 2830 ID: 35cea2

Wimps. Those infantrymen probably won't be very useful in battle, seeing how easily they get decapitated. Maybe we should order them to train more. Or give them names and different hats so they will appear less redshirty.
>>
No. 2831 ID: fb5d8e
File 124692771949.png - (46.39KB , 800x600 , 157.png )
2831

>"Stay your blade! Under orders from the Skullking or not, I will not have you killing my faithful men!"
Mudy and Totenkopf cry out as he raises his hand,
>"Before we deliver you Raital, might you inform us as to her specific crim--"

>"CUDDRING WITH AN ENEMY OF THE EMPIRE-
>NOW THE BOOK, CARAVERA.
>>
No. 2832 ID: ac4254

I ah.... Yeah I'm stumped. I can't think a a single situation that won't make us you know bad end and lose.
>>
No. 2833 ID: 670155

Ok so clearly he can keep tabs on her.
>>
No. 2834 ID: fb5d8e
File 124692784024.png - (39.46KB , 800x600 , 158.png )
2834

The crystal ball shatters into a million pieces!
Mudy has lost control over Totenkopf, Darkmoon and Axebeard.
>>
No. 2835 ID: 520be8

>>2834

We need to get Raital. FAST.
>>
No. 2836 ID: fb5d8e

>>2829
((Ignore this post.
Mod please delete? I can't delete it myself for some reason.))
>>
No. 2837 ID: ac4254

Yeah fuck it. Kill him. Or at least try. If you are going to die don't let it be easily.
>>
No. 2838 ID: 2ffabb

>>2829
>>2831
Oh. Shit. No more orb means no more communication, I take it? And its kinda obvious that Totenkopf isn't who he says he is now.

We need to get Raital in on this, like, yesterday. I suggest running to her with tears in our adorable kobold eyes.
>>
No. 2839 ID: 7eda8b

Give him the book.
>>
No. 2840 ID: ac4254

>>2837

Oh god damn.

Run to Raital. Explain everything.
>>
No. 2841 ID: 2ffabb

>>2838
(Doop, posted that before I saw the retraction. The statement still stands, though.)
>>
No. 2842 ID: 7eda8b

Alternately, tell Calavera what we're about to do to him and ask if he has any SUGGESTIONS, now that he's in the same boat as us.
>>
No. 2843 ID: 8ce2bf

Run sobbing to Raital like the BIG BABY YOU ARE.

OH WAIT YOU AREN'T A BABY YOU'RE A MAN. GET OUT THERE AND DEFEND YOUR ARMY.
>>
No. 2844 ID: fb5d8e
File 12469285817.png - (52.97KB , 800x600 , 159.png )
2844

Mudy quickly opens the book!
He tells Calavera that he's in the same situation now and he better come up with some useful suggestions.
>>
No. 2845 ID: 670155

>>2844

Explain to Mr. Makes Bets While having pre-existing knowledge of the situation that the assassin thinks he's raital.
>>
No. 2846 ID: 7eda8b

>>2844
Well fuck you too, uncle skull man!

Run out and throw the book at Cardboard Tube Samurai.
>>
No. 2847 ID: 2ffabb

If they know Raital was cuddling with the enemy, then they may know who we are - if we show ourselves, we may become a 0/6 Kobold Bard.

I still say time to retreat to Raital.
>>
No. 2848 ID: ac4254

>>2844

"Fuck you."

Run to Raital.
>>
No. 2849 ID: d4f47a

Welp, looks like you're in the deep end now.
I suggest running for your life and hope that strange man will not find you.
Restart a new life elsewhere, you don't have to live here you know.
>>
No. 2850 ID: fb5d8e
File 124692934596.png - (28.98KB , 800x600 , 160.png )
2850

FUCK!
Mudy grabs the book under his arm and RUNS to Raital's room!
This would be a VERY good time for her to give an answer.
>>
No. 2851 ID: bffa2a

Commit seppuku.
>>
No. 2852 ID: fb5d8e
File 124692939840.png - (45.38KB , 800x600 , 161.png )
2852

Mudy busts into the room.
Raital appears to be rubbing her nose against the bed's mattress.
>"Smell.. so sweet.."
>>
No. 2853 ID: 2ffabb

Pop a massive boner at the scene before you, but try to get her attention.

"M'lady, you are in danger! A bounty hunter approaches the camp for you!"
>>
No. 2854 ID: bffa2a

>>2852

"There's a monster here coming to kill you and he's killing my friends and my soul is in peril and why he call you traitor and you have to come help them and what the hell are you doing?"
>>
No. 2855 ID: 19907e

>>2852
"Assassin... surveillance... cuddling... army dead... run..."
>>
No. 2856 ID: 670155

>>2852
...wow..thats...wow.
>>
No. 2857 ID: add247

now would be a good time to bail.
>>
No. 2858 ID: e49ef9

>>2852
Try to get her out of the room, or tear down the posters.
We are rapidly losing people here.
>>
No. 2859 ID: 13034c

ewww...

"Sorry to uh, interrupt you, but someone has come here to kill you. While I would still prefer not to rush you into a decision, it seems that circumstance has robbed me of that option."
>>
No. 2860 ID: 7eda8b

"Your dad's scrying the room! A horrible assassin is here to kill you! I told him your spirit was in this book and I'm going to give it to him! Get ready to run! If I die, know that I care for you!"
>>
No. 2861 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693036033.png - (50.13KB , 800x600 , 162.png )
2861

>"Your dad's scrying the room! A horrible assassin is here to kill you! I told him your spirit was in this book and I'm going to give it to him! Get ready to r-"
Before Mudy realizes it, he feels that there is a pillow on his face. The impact knocks him off balance.
>"EEEEEK! Why didn't you knock?! You lech! You didn't see anything!
>Wait- What? What are you talking about? What assassin? What book?"
>>
No. 2862 ID: 520be8

>>2861

"Your dad saw you with me! He's sent an assassin to kill you! I told him that your soul was trapped within this book!" Hold up TOME. "I'm going to go give it to him. If I don't come back...know that you were special to me."
>>
No. 2863 ID: 7eda8b

"The Skull King was spying on us! He sent an assassin!"

Grab her by the shoulders and look into her eyes.

"If we're going to do something amazing, we're going to have to start right here, right now."
>>
No. 2864 ID: 2ffabb

>>2862
This.

Also: Use the pillow as a defense against further pillow based attacks.
>>
No. 2865 ID: 19907e

>>2862
"Do you think that would fool him? Ahhh I don't know what to do he's killing the army without even trying and going to be here any minute!"
>>
No. 2866 ID: 13034c

You know, we probably should have realized this would happen when we saw the posters...
>>
No. 2867 ID: e49ef9

>>2861
"There's a bounty hunter, apparently after you, and he's already killed most of the army, possibly Totenkopf and Darkmoon as well.
He's got five swords, says he's from the order of the skull, and did I mention he's after you for treason?
I apologise for my boorishness, but I'd like you to render your decision about whether to help me some time before we're all dead.
Incidentally, could we continue this conversation out in the hall?
I'll wait for you to dress."
Go out in the hall and start ripping pages out of the book.
>>
No. 2868 ID: abd041

>>2852
"Sorry to interrupt, but there's a bounty hunter after you and in trying to protect you he has slaughtered our army. I know I didn't want to rush you but with circumstances being as they are and having but moments to live, I want you to know that I love you and I want to be with you, my soul is yours should you deem me worthy."

(Keep in mind Calavera is going to get our soul if she doesn't pull up some divine intervention anyway. Being a sex toy is better than being a meat puppet.)
>>
No. 2869 ID: 036360

Uh, just a thought.. lets try NOT declaring how we care or love Rait until we're sure Mudy does feel the same way. He doesn't have the 'love' condition with her yet after all.

Best.. not to manipulate/lie super powered death machines. She'll have no trouble destroying us when the lie comes out (which it -will-)

But yes. Explain the situation to her clearly as you can. Describe the man who appeared, and what can be done.
>>
No. 2870 ID: 7eda8b

>>2868
>(Keep in mind Calavera is going to get our soul if she doesn't pull up some divine intervention anyway. Being a sex toy is better than being a meat puppet.)

This, except angrily underlined for emphasis.
>>
No. 2871 ID: ac4254

There are like 12 things that are going to kill is in some way or another. I'll be surprised if we live.
>>
No. 2872 ID: add247
File 124693102032.png - (23.40KB , 350x350 , john oh shit asain.png )
2872

Some guy with a bad eastern accent and at least 5 swords...
>>
No. 2873 ID: 670155

I think the fact that our soul isnt gone is probably testament that our three lieutenants are still alive..hopefully.
>>
No. 2875 ID: 7eda8b

A week ago, I would not have imagined I would be F5F5F5ing on tgchan.
>>
No. 2876 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693177043.png - (50.09KB , 800x600 , 163.png )
2876

Mudy takes a deep breath.
>"There's a bounty hunter, apparently after you, and he's already killed most of the army, possibly Totenkopf and Darkmoon as well.
>He's got five swords, says he's from the order of the skull, and did I mention he's after you for treason?
>I told him that your soul was trapped within this book!"
He holds up Memento.
>"I'm going to go give it to him. If I don't come back...know that you were special to me."

>"Sp.. Special? Mudy?"
>>
No. 2877 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693183382.png - (38.81KB , 800x600 , 164.png )
2877

Mudy rushes outside to the gates. He is confronted by piles of bodies.

Darkmoon is leaning over Totenkopf, who lies motionless on the ground.
>"Just tell him vhere te book is! Tell him!"
>"No.. I.. can't... di.. disappoint the Prince.."
>>
No. 2879 ID: 670155

Hopefully we've set her up for a berserker rage...
>>
No. 2880 ID: 670155

>>2877

"Sup."
>>
No. 2881 ID: 520be8

>>2877

"The book is here!" Hold up the TOME. "Please, stop this needless bloodshed!"
>>
No. 2882 ID: e49ef9

>>2877
Check the book at the back of his head and run.
>>
No. 2883 ID: e49ef9

>>2882
Chuck.
>>
No. 2884 ID: 7eda8b

"ENOUGH KILLING, MONSTER! HERE IS YOUR BOOK!"
>>
No. 2885 ID: bffa2a

>>2877

Hurl the book at his head and yell "heads up".
>>
No. 2886 ID: ac4254

Just give him the book. Or if we're going to die either way throw it at him.
>>
No. 2887 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693229123.png - (40.54KB , 800x600 , 165.png )
2887

>"ENOUGH KILLING, MONSTER! HERE IS YOUR BOOK!"
Mudy hurls the book at the bounty hunter!
>>
No. 2888 ID: ac4254

Prediction time! Dude cuts book in half the then Calavera will come out of it and be like Blahhhrrrrgg
>>
No. 2889 ID: 670155

Rest in peace everyone who is about to die.


...so everyone.
>>
No. 2890 ID: 670155

>>2888
Maybe calavera actually saves his own ass.

..then we have to deal with a pissed off calavera.
>>
No. 2891 ID: ac4254

Wait Darkmoon has no top on. wat
>>
No. 2892 ID: 7eda8b
File 12469325696.jpg - (10.03KB , 294x224 , boldReact.jpg )
2892

>>
No. 2893 ID: add247

>>2891
look at the scene before the crystal shatters, he cut her top in half
>>
No. 2894 ID: ac4254

>>2893

Haha oh man how did I miss that
>>
No. 2895 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693286833.gif - (359.79KB , 800x600 , 166.gif )
2895

THACK
-THACK
-THACK
>>
No. 2896 ID: 670155

Or phylactery explodes taking out a five block radius, thats not a bad way to go.
>>
No. 2897 ID: bffa2a

>>2895

f5f5f5f5f5
>>
No. 2898 ID: e49ef9

>>2895
Check to make sure we're in one piece, look back at Raital, and then try diplomacy.
>>
No. 2899 ID: fb5d8e
File 12469331784.png - (36.32KB , 800x600 , 166.png )
2899

>"Hello, boys und girls!
>It's ze revenging time!"
>>
No. 2900 ID: 670155

"Well you got what you came for."
>>
No. 2901 ID: 520be8

>>2899

"Oh fuck me."
>>
No. 2902 ID: 670155

>>2899
Haha oh wow we're fucked.
>>
No. 2903 ID: 1afd58

>>2899
DANCE NAKED FOR THE EYE LASERS
>>
No. 2904 ID: 7eda8b
File 12469333069.gif - (13.03KB , 338x414 , psyduck.gif )
2904

>>
No. 2906 ID: ac4254

>>2899
Called it.
Haha yeah we're probably fucked.
>>
No. 2907 ID: bffa2a

>>2899

QUIT GAME
>>
No. 2908 ID: 0a1f89

>>2899
HOLY SHIT RUN
RUN WHILE SCREAMING
>>
No. 2909 ID: 670155

Try referring to calavera as raital and hope that assassin is a fucking idiot.
>>
No. 2910 ID: c01408

We should've made a deal with Calavera, that we'd destroy the book and release him if he'd promise to help us out.
He AGREED to give us the camp and soldiers -- hell, it was his idea. He shouldn't be angry about that. So I figure freedom in exchange for knocking off this bounty hunter shouldn't be asking for too much, but hey.
>>
No. 2911 ID: 8ce2bf

Offer sexual favors in exchange for no more death.
>>
No. 2912 ID: da4b33

>>2909
This
>>
No. 2913 ID: ac4254

He is a lich. Evil-aligned, revenge-seeking
>>
No. 2914 ID: 670155

>>2910

Protip: We brought the book into the room when ratail was "currdring with the enemy". He was probably the focal point for any sort of scrying.
>>
No. 2915 ID: 0a1f89

>>2909 >>2912
Sure, why not! We're fucked anyway.
>>
No. 2916 ID: 8ce2bf

Run away crying to Raital and hug her.
>>
No. 2917 ID: 2ffabb

>>2909
>>2899
"Raital! This assassin has come to end you!"
>>
No. 2918 ID: bffa2a

>>2909

Hopeful aren't you.

Anyways, we are not leaving until our friends are safe. Axebeard and Totenkopf might already be dead.
>>
No. 2919 ID: 7eda8b

Be a man. Stand your ground and draw your sword.
>>
No. 2921 ID: 670155

>>2918

Mudy's a bard! Hope is part of the contract!
>>
No. 2922 ID: e49ef9

>>2919
This.
If nothing else, then Raital will probably be buried with us.
>>
No. 2923 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693406634.gif - (72.11KB , 800x600 , 168.gif )
2923

Mudy points at Calavera.
He yells that's Raital!
The bounty hunter turns his head..


>"Who shall get ze first turn? Maybe.. unloyal minions... ? Eh?"
>>
No. 2925 ID: 520be8

>>2923

About time something went our way.
>>
No. 2926 ID: 7eda8b

Fall to your knees and say nothing.
>>
No. 2927 ID: 2ffabb

>>2923
Fuck year.

Do your best rendition of a lowly kobold, not even worth this guy's time. Maybe he doesn't know who you are.

"Now that your business has been attended to, please leave my- er, this army be!"
>>
No. 2928 ID: bffa2a

>>2923

Yes. Fuck you bonehead. Good riddance.

Run to Raital and Totenkopf. Ignore the assassin. Call out for Axebeard. Let's salvage everything we can.
>>
No. 2929 ID: 670155

AND ITS GOOD!
>>
No. 2930 ID: bffa2a

>>2928

Darkmoon, Darkmoon... freudian slip.
>>
No. 2932 ID: 42a775

>>2923

Rush to Calavera's side and mourn "Raital's" passing
>>
No. 2933 ID: 7eda8b

We should not do one goddamn thing until this guy makes his dramatic exit.
>>
No. 2935 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693452734.png - (30.57KB , 800x600 , 169.png )
2935

The bounty hunter slides his three swords into his belt.
>"Contract furfirred."
>>
No. 2936 ID: e49ef9

Fall to your knees and pray that he doesn't know that wasn't Raital, and furthermore that Raital doesn't come out.
>>
No. 2937 ID: 1afd58

>>2935
HEY STUPID THAT WASNT RAITAL WE FOOLED YOU STUPID

YOU YOU DOUBLE WEEABOO
>>
No. 2938 ID: 670155

>>2935

Go get a doctor as soon as he leaves.
>>
No. 2939 ID: 2ffabb
File 124693475653.jpg - (5.90KB , 140x105 , unclegrandfather.jpg )
2939

>>2935
"Contract. Furfirred. You. Naughty boy."
>>
No. 2940 ID: 13034c

Hmm. Well, let's see if Totenkopf is salvageable, and tend to any among the army that are wounded but not dead. For that matter, take inventory and see who remains alive.
>>
No. 2941 ID: 0a1f89

>>2935
Run to Darkmoon and see if the two lovers are salvageable. Totenkopf may lose an arm, but he might still be alive.
We'll stop the bleeding by tearing off bits of Totenkopf's robe and tying them around the bleeding bits!
>>
No. 2942 ID: 35cea2

>>2938

If there is anyone left alive in a three mile radius. Goddamn, our guys suck if 1 bounty hunter can take all of them down.
>>
No. 2943 ID: 520be8

>>2935

Rush to Totenkopf's side. "Totenkopf! Totenkopf! Hang in there!"
>>
No. 2944 ID: 2ffabb

Also: Say nothing and act the harmless kobold until he leaves.
>>
No. 2945 ID: 13034c

>>2942
The Skullking sent him to take out his own daughter, he's clearly very good at what he does.
>>
No. 2946 ID: c01408

>>2941
>We'll stop the bleeding by tearing off bits of Raital's outfit and tying them around the bleeding bits!
Fixed
>>
No. 2947 ID: 8ce2bf

>>2946
She's too far away! We'll have to use our own clothing!
>>
No. 2949 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693540155.png - (30.45KB , 800x600 , 170.png )
2949

Mudy immediatly runs over to his generals.

Totenkopf is breathing heavily.
>"Well.. I.. failed for the last time...
>I guess I'm just.. an unimpressive g.. goblin after all.."
>>
No. 2951 ID: e49ef9

>>2949
(I assume crazy weeaboo is gone?)
YOU.
DON'T DIE.
THAT IS AN ORDER.
>>
No. 2952 ID: 331584

Try to tend to Totenkopf. If he is beyond hope, try to reassemble any surviving troops and then get to Raital to let her know you are alive.
>>
No. 2953 ID: 42a775

>>2949

No, you aren't. You're my general, and you're my friend. And to make sure this is the last time you fail, you're going to have to live through this and get stronger.

Calavera was sure that you would die here. This is your chance to do something amazing. This is your chance to beat him. All you need to do is live.
>>
No. 2954 ID: 7eda8b

"Don't talk like that! I'll figure something out!

Darkmoon! Focus! There has to be something here capable of healing! We're supposed to support an army here. That means there must be doctors or clerics."

Then call "IVAR! RUNE!"
>>
No. 2955 ID: 670155

>>2949
Remind him that he's a lich's apprentice.

If anyone can save him thats not a doctor, its himself!
>>
No. 2956 ID: bffa2a

>>2949

"No, no, you're a brave man and you will pull trough this and have many babies. It's just an arm, just stay awake, that's an order."

Make a tourniquet out of a soldier's sleeve.
>>
No. 2957 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693583818.png - (30.10KB , 800x600 , 171.png )
2957

Mudy yells to his general,
>"YOU.
>DON'T DIE.
>THAT IS AN ORDER."

A small smile grows on the goblin's face.
>"I'm sorry, sir.. I can't.. fulfill.. th.. at.. order..."
He coughs.
>"Prince... Th.. thank you.. for letting me be myself.."
>>
No. 2958 ID: 0a1f89

>>2949
"You're wrong. You're the most impressive goblin I've ever met. More impressive than Calavera could ever be."
"I'd take you over the Skullking any day."

"Please don't die!"
>>
No. 2959 ID: e49ef9

>>2957
DARKMOON.
WHERE ARE THE CLERICS.
>>
No. 2960 ID: c01408
File 124693597098.png - (47.86KB , 588x731 , bold.png )
2960

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, WE MUST SAVE THESE TWO
IT'S TIME TO SHOW THEM JUST WHAT WE CAN DO

Mudy's a bard. Time to put that to use. Darkmoon, get to work bandaging him up. If we're 100% positive weeaboo guy's left, get Raital -- she must know SOMETHING about mortal wounds (and ideally, how to repair them).

Bust out whatever instrument is available. If none is available, yank one out of mid-fucking-air using pure BARD POWER.
Then play the most blistering fucking song of triumph and uplift you can.

Use Mudy's amazing BARD SKILLS (and some sort of healing harmony if we're THAT kind of bard) to inspire Totenkopf not to give up, so that he may struggle to cling to life until we can get him properly healed.

Sing encouragement and determination to Totenkopf. HE CANNOT GIVE UP THIS FIGHT. Stick with us, thou bold and hardy Goblin, for this day shall not be your last!
>>
No. 2961 ID: bffa2a

>>2957

Add new quest: HUNT AND KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKIN WEEABOO IN FUTURE NO MATTER THE COST.
>>
No. 2962 ID: 2ffabb

>>2957
Darkmoon aquired QUEST: REVENGE
>>
No. 2963 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693620529.png - (29.54KB , 800x600 , 172.png )
2963

>"You're wrong. You're the most impressive goblin I've ever met. More impressive than Calavera could ever be."
, Mudy encourages,
>"I'd take you over the Skullking any day."

>"Thank you.. Prince.. I'm.. I'm glad to have met you.. and Darkmoon.. Thank you..
>You're.. am... am... amazing...."
Totenkopf let's out a long deep sigh, then remains completely silent.
>>
No. 2964 ID: 670155

DEAR LORD WE'RE SURROUNDED BY NECROMANCERS, SOMEONE DO SOMETHING!
>>
No. 2965 ID: 13034c

>>2964
actually, Totenkopf was out only necromancer, so far as we know.
>>
No. 2966 ID: bffa2a

>>2963

"I'll be coming for you Stormpraque."

>>2964

Heh.
>>
No. 2967 ID: 2ffabb

>>2964
Actually, we're surrounded by average schmoes dressed as necromancers. The only actual one we had was just dispatched by the assassin.

Unless Raital can do necromancy.
>>
No. 2968 ID: 7eda8b
File 124693642860.png - (45.75KB , 350x350 , 1236793377967.png )
2968

WAT

NO!
>>
No. 2969 ID: 35cea2

>>2964

I don't think Darkmoon would appreciate Totenkopf being raised as a zombie. Time to face the facts.

He's gone. And so is most of our army, but nobody cares about them because they're wearing masks.
>>
No. 2970 ID: 1afd58

>>2963
So, uh, darkmoon... Now might not be the best time... but you're... uh.. you're single now, right? Wanna... rub noses?
>>
No. 2971 ID: 13034c

Did Totenkopf maybe have a phylactery set up for this eventuality?
>>
No. 2972 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693653128.png - (34.17KB , 800x600 , 173.png )
2972

NO!
>>
No. 2974 ID: 670155

D:
>>
No. 2975 ID: 35cea2

>>2970

You're horrible and you should feel horrible.
>>
No. 2976 ID: bffa2a

AXEBEARD! WHERE IS AXEBEARD!
>>
No. 2978 ID: 2ffabb

>>2976
This. What of Goldwomb?
>>
No. 2979 ID: da4b33

PLAY THE MOST MONSTROUS OF BALLADS.
>>
No. 2980 ID: 42a775

>>2979

A song to RAISE THE DEAD
>>
No. 2982 ID: 13034c

>>2973
This seems right.
>>
No. 2983 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693699888.png - (26.93KB , 800x600 , 174.png )
2983

Mudy grabs his flute from his gown and plays! He plays the flute like he never played before!
Dancing on the corpses, letting no blood nor blade stop his rythem!
Dance!
Sing!
MUSIC!
>>
No. 2984 ID: 13034c

f5f5f5f5f5
>>
No. 2985 ID: 670155

>>2983

Darkmoon, like me. Is wondering if perhaps mudy has gone insane with grief.
>>
No. 2986 ID: 1afd58

>>2983
IN BEFORE DARKMOON KILLS US IN HER MADDENED GRIEF
>>
No. 2987 ID: 7eda8b

Oh god if this doesn't work we'll look like the worst person ever.

BETTER MAKE SURE IT WORKS! PLAY ON, YOU LITTLE GREEN FUCKER!
>>
No. 2988 ID: a3b36a

Mudy's a Kobold. He'll bounce back from his dear dear friend's death before we know it.

Also, bracing for more epic.
>>
No. 2990 ID: 130228

Out of curiosity, while we're playing the song of our people, where did Calavera get off to?
>>
No. 2991 ID: e49ef9

>>2990
Death.
>>
No. 2992 ID: 2ffabb

Collapse in a sobbing heap once the realization that we are a bard - not a necromancer - hits us.
>>
No. 2993 ID: bffa2a

Mudy, you are being incredibly gay. Proceed.
>>
No. 2994 ID: 670155

Well if anyone can pull this off..
>>
No. 2995 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693785838.gif - (34.44KB , 800x600 , 175.gif )
2995

Darkmoon watches the crazed kobold dance and make music. Somehow the music is pushing away all her feelings of sadness.
A warm yet hollow feeling overcomes her.

A final teardrop runs down her cheek.


>animooted
>>
No. 2996 ID: bffa2a

>>2995

Well, fuck me.
>>
No. 2997 ID: 331584

ALRIGHT, NOW THAT YOUR FAGGOT GENERAL IS ALIVE SEW HIS FUCKING ARM BACK ON
>>
No. 2998 ID: 130228

>>2995
Well, damn.
And also FUCK YEAR.
>>
No. 2999 ID: 7eda8b

It's a red herring.

It's her tits that brought him back.
>>
No. 3000 ID: e49ef9
File 124693800232.jpg - (74.57KB , 523x442 , 1243818030611.jpg )
3000

>>
No. 3001 ID: c01408

>>2995
If I were him, this is what I'd want to wake up to: love of my life, naked in front of me.
>>
No. 3002 ID: 227d44

>>2995
Mudy: Best Necromancer ever?
>>
No. 3004 ID: 2ffabb

>>2995
I'll be damned.
>>
No. 3005 ID: 7eda8b
File 124693824431.png - (160.62KB , 450x253 , kittan9ks1.png )
3005

>>2995
>>
No. 3006 ID: 35cea2

>>2995

Fuck your army, lets go to the Skullking and MUSIC HIM TO DEATH
>>
No. 3007 ID: 670155
File 124693829360.jpg - (16.80KB , 451x316 , 1242424555494.jpg )
3007

>>
No. 3008 ID: 2ffabb

>>3002
That, or he just gained a level in cleric.
>>
No. 3009 ID: bffa2a

This beg a question of how the fuck did we do that. Who or what are we?
>>
No. 3010 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693838515.png - (26.06KB , 800x600 , 176.png )
3010

>"TOTENKOPF?!"
>"D.. Darkmoon? But I.. I.."
>"NO! BE- BE SHUTTINK UP!"

Mudy pants and wheezes. He feels his legs trembling.
He is absolutely exhausted.
>>
No. 3011 ID: 130228

>>3010
Oh. Never mind, then.
>>
No. 3012 ID: e49ef9

>>3009
A bold from a box.

>>3010
FUCK READING THE NOTE
HUG RAITAL
>>
No. 3013 ID: 670155

>>3010
HAHA OH COME ON
>>
No. 3014 ID: 7eda8b

Read situation.

Hug Raital.
>>
No. 3015 ID: 227d44

>>3010
Wow. That's rather awesome of her. Hug her, then "accidentally" bump noses.
>>
No. 3016 ID: 8ce2bf

Collapse into Raital and have her carry you away in her cloak.
>>
No. 3017 ID: bffa2a

>>3010

And here I tought we were exalted. OH WONDER HOW FAST YOU DISSAPEAR.

Turn around Mudy, look embarassed. You just danced on dead people.
>>
No. 3018 ID: da4b33

>>3010
Read note, hug Raital
>>
No. 3019 ID: 2ffabb

Hug Raital.
Ask her if she's made her decision yet.
Also look for Goldwomb.
>>
No. 3020 ID: 13034c

plop down on ass, exhausted. Smile, weakly.
>>
No. 3021 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693924876.png - (31.04KB , 800x600 , 177.png )
3021

>"Mudy..
>I never thought I could do anything else but hurt people..
>but..
>when I saw you dance.. when I heard your music..
>something in my heart was freed.

>..Mudy?
>>
No. 3022 ID: fb5d8e
File 124693926596.png - (29.23KB , 800x600 , 178.png )
3022

>"Mudy!"

>END CHAPTER 8
>>
No. 3023 ID: 1afd58

>>3022
COP A FEEL WHILE SHE THINKS WE ARE UNCONSCIOUS
>>
No. 3024 ID: e49ef9

>>3021
>>3022
D'AWESOME
>>
No. 3026 ID: 2ffabb

D'aww, poor Mudy.

First thing to do when we wake up: tear down all those damn posters and Skullking effigies.
>>
No. 3027 ID: 7eda8b

I believe it is time to abandon the fortress.
>>
No. 3028 ID: bffa2a

>>3027

Yes, the mistaken identity will come apparent soon. Also, where is Goldwomb.

Next order of business is to find a way to kill the weeaboo. Nothings forgiven yet.
>>
No. 3029 ID: e49ef9

>>3027
Seconding this.
The army is now about seven people.
We'll ask everyone whether they want to defect or not, and GTFO.
>>
No. 3030 ID: 13034c

>>3027
Why? I think we need to find out how the Skullking was scrying on us.
>>
No. 3032 ID: 13034c

>>3028
That's not important atm. It was just business. If we abandon the fort, we need to endeavor to take a kingdom next.
>>
No. 3033 ID: 2ffabb

>>3029
>The army is now about seven people.

This. We need to see how many of our guys are even left. They seem pretty loyal to us now, so I think getting them to defect won't be much of an issue.
>>
No. 3034 ID: 35cea2

>>3033

I think that, if there are any other survivors, they will be in for a SERIOUS TRAINING MONTAGE. We have to have competent lackeys, not just meatshields.
>>
No. 3035 ID: 13034c

>>3034
of course, Raital is currently our most competent. Who's to say if they want to take orders from a little girl?
>>
No. 3036 ID: e49ef9

>>3033
We still need to give them the choice of whether to stay and say they were just following orders, or coming with us; either for revenge, saving Moonshine, or at this point just escaping from the Skullking.
We need to choose our path.
>>
No. 3037 ID: 670155

Call meeting,not in possibly bugged meeting room.

Seek shelter in moonshine

???

Profit.
>>
No. 3045 ID: 0a1f89

I say we stick to the original plan. The original original plan.
The plan being we become good, 'conquer' villages by being good and using bardic awesome, and recruit a new army. Moonshine may or may not get in on this. Eventually we will either construct a more powerful army, or recruit more powerful party members, allowing us to defeat or stalemate the Skullking himself.

We should probably move the camp somewhere that doesn't get visitors every couple hours, though.
>>
No. 3061 ID: 3ad649

Am I the only one who wanted Totenkopf to die and raise him as a Lich?

Think of the supreme irony...
>>
No. 3069 ID: ac4254

>>3061

Fairly certain being a lich has to be a choice, made by the lich. Could be wrong though.
>>
No. 3071 ID: e499bc

>>3069
You would be right.

Also, bards can heal a bit! We could have stabilized him on our own..

Or not.

Whatever.

We/Mudy are USELESS!

D:
>>
No. 3092 ID: 2e5c73

FUCK YA CHAPTER 9 START!
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