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681142 No. 681142 ID: defceb

Ash has decided that real people are awful. Just the worst. They’ve decided to build themselves a boyfriend. A robot boyfriend. Technically they’ve never built a full robot before, but that’s not about to stop them. What kind of boyfriend should they build?
Expand all images
>>
No. 681144 ID: 28bcec

A nice big one that can hold you in its arms and rock you to sleep.

Plus carry stuff and defend you from creeps.
>>
No. 681145 ID: bb9a5d

>>681144

On top of that, maybe one with a personality that's heartwarming, caring and just nice to be around.
>>
No. 681147 ID: 799984

You'll need all the standard boyfriend features.

-laser eyes
-lifting capacity of 20 tons
-max land speed of 60 km/h
-vertical standing jump of 23 meters
-flame decal
>>
No. 681148 ID: 12b273

>>681142
A really nice one!

Also he should have a radio and music player built in, for convenience.

And a cuddle mode, with deployable pillow. And vibrating massage hands.
>>
No. 681150 ID: 799984

Also, boobs.
>>
No. 681151 ID: 90f3c0

He should be warm and fuzzy, for maximum cuddling potential.
>>
No. 681153 ID: f36321

Let's not forget to add the Pleasurtron 3000 for when you feel the need.

And the two most important features for any robot boyfriend.: the mute button and the turn off button
>>
No. 681155 ID: 12b273

WAIT. Wait wait waitwait.

Stop whatever you're doing, it's not important. We have Illuminati plots to search for! Clearly the Illuminati would seek to oppose or control something as perfect as a robot boyfriend, so you'll have to eliminate them first.
>>
No. 681160 ID: 28bcec

>>681155

Crap you are right. We have missed all the previous Illuminati plots so better start looking now.
>>
No. 681162 ID: f26df0

Have you considered building a small robot pet first, so you have the common "rebellion against creator" bugs worked out by the time you move on to making a life sized humanoid?
>>
No. 681164 ID: 89941a

Well, it clearly needs a huge dong with the ability to vibrate.
>>
No. 681165 ID: f2461f

Create a robot with a fluffy warm exterior and the ability to morph into a ball.
>>
No. 681167 ID: 2a7417

A wolf. Just a huge robot wolf.
>>
No. 681179 ID: 3f9dc0

Damn you Apollo, now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAnyYTjjhJ0 is just playing in my head on loop.

Coin operated boy. Made of plastic and elastic, must be rugged and long lasting. should be able to take him in the bath.
>>
No. 681180 ID: ad936f

>>681160
I bet that wall socket is an Illuminati plot! ...somehow.
>>
No. 681197 ID: 5ad4a7

>>681142
Okay hang on what if


what if two penises
>>
No. 681198 ID: 9b7e9c

>>681142
Noodle arms. Gotta have the noodle arms.
>>
No. 681199 ID: 3bc92d

Why stop at one?

Make a robot harem.
>>
No. 681200 ID: 32197a

Well, obviously he should be completely indestructible.
>>
No. 681201 ID: f2461f

>>681199
We probably lack the money and resources to do that from the get-go.
So we start with one, hone our craft and use our robot boyfriend to gather power. When we have enough we build another then repeat.
>>
No. 681205 ID: ad936f

>>681197
But what if... actually was THREE penises?

Illuminati confirmed.
>>
No. 681280 ID: f0e552

>>681142
Let us build one that isn't human.
>>
No. 681287 ID: 5eb775

Electricity is overrated. Electricity is cold and sterile. Can you cuddle electricity?
No.

Now, put a little gasoline motor on him to keep him going? Toasty warm. Forever. 10/10 perfect cuddlebuddy.
And imagine the flustered revving when you get him embarrassed. [spoiler]And all the vibrations~[/spoiler]
>>
No. 681289 ID: 2ccbb3

Build a non-sentient robot at first. One that can collapse into a giant weapon.

Slowly build up the robot and give them sentience, but DO NOT ALLOW THEM FREE MOVEMENT IN WEAPON MODE.
>>
No. 681301 ID: 73c49c

a fluffy robit that's a athro animal would be awesome.
>>
No. 681305 ID: f26928

A hyper-compact robot that can unfold into a gratuitous number of different forms.
Also, strongly recommend tentacles.
>>
No. 681324 ID: 15fae4

A PERFECT REPLICA OF TEADOG, THE IDEAL MALE
>>
No. 681332 ID: 0192d0

Mettaton NEO!
>>
No. 681498 ID: defceb
File 144670934261.jpg - (4.73KB , 440x453 , rbf02.jpg )
681498

>>
No. 681499 ID: defceb
File 144670936042.jpg - (4.85KB , 440x453 , rbf03.jpg )
681499

Illuminati Plot Exposed! 1/3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRWbIoIR04c
>>
No. 681500 ID: defceb
File 144670940540.png - (65.36KB , 582x588 , rbf04.png )
681500

Ash considers their options. They have so many great ideas, but they can’t incorporate them all on the same body at once. Unless they can find a way to make a robot that is shapeshifting, modifiable, replicates, and most importantly something capable of vibrating. There’s only one solution.

Ash is going to build a robot boyfriend out of nanomachines.

They’ll need:
-An AI. Ash can’t make it themselves, so they’ll need to either steal or salvage one.
-Nanomachines. Ash is 80% certain that they can find some in the rich-people districts. Or just swipe some industrial models in the outer districts. What’s the worst that could happen?
-Means of combining the two.
-Cute robot boyfriend clothes. Ash demands their boyfriend be cute and cuddly. Mandatory.
-Maybe overthrow the Illuminati or expose their plots or something in the process.
>>
No. 681501 ID: 0fc976

You just need to worry about finding the nanomachines first, then have them eat the AI. That's how programming works, I'm 95.99% sure.
>>
No. 681502 ID: f0e552

>>681500
Nanomachines son.

How far can we go? We can look in top secret government facilities for them, probably not any nearby, but you never know.

And an AI? That's easy, just rip out the sourcecode of a chatbot from the internet and go from there, of course!
>>
No. 681504 ID: 5ad4a7

Hey wait are you a dude or a lady

IMO, get some from rich folks. Good chance of foiling some plots there too.
>>
No. 681521 ID: 1c32b1

Yeah just mosey over to a rich acquaintance and ask if you can borrow a cup of nanomachines. Then go thrift shopping for cute clothes.
>>
No. 681527 ID: a107fd

Swiping industrial nanotech and facility-management AIs sounds less likely to involve interacting with real people, which is the core problem here. Worst case, you can repurpose the mk1 robot boyfriend into a weapon and then use it to raid the rich-people district for what you really want.

>>681504
You forgot "both," "neither," and "something else entirely."
>>
No. 681536 ID: 88960e

>Maybe overthrow the Illuminati or expose their plots or something in the process
Well the illuminati have resources. I'll bet they have AI and nanomachines. One stop shopping!
>>
No. 681538 ID: 70f7ce

>>681527
No. They didn't.

You need some bait to lure an AI with - try a sign that says 'Free World Domination' - in binary, so you don't attract any wandering heads of state by accident.
>>
No. 681565 ID: 89941a

>>681500
Just find a broken down bot behind a bar or something and swipe the AI.


I'm fairly certain you can find some expended nanites in the red light district. Make sure you find out what they need for food first though, avoid ones with animal protein as an energy source.


For combining, just slap them together until it works.


Don't forget a dong for the bot, you can probably find something to use as a template in the same location I suggested getting the nanites.
>>
No. 681603 ID: defceb
File 144675985453.png - (215.49KB , 719x717 , rbf05.png )
681603

>Hey wait are you a dude or a lady?
Ash used to be an Ashley who then became an Ashton. Or were they an Ashton that became Ashley? They can’t remember which came first. Now they’re just Ash. Maybe the ports in their head have something to do with it. They don’t remember getting those either.

Ash hangs up a sign saying ‘Free World Domination’ in binary in the window and then hops on a train to the outer districts. They can swipe goods from the factories out there, or swing by the Red Light district nearby. Less people to deal with, too.

There’s a man on the train. More a boy, with cat ears welded onto their head. They smell like cheap alcohol. “Hhhheeeeyyyy,” They slur, leaning over to Ash. “You’re pretty! You busy tonight?”
>>
No. 681604 ID: 12b273

>>681603
Thanks, but yes, I am. Doing something with my boyfriend.
>>
No. 681615 ID: 0fc976

Play a sound beyond human hearing range but very annoying to his cat ears.
>>
No. 681650 ID: defceb
File 144677161094.png - (209.67KB , 847x681 , rbf06.png )
681650

“I’m going to be busy with my boyfriend” Ash says.

“Your boyfriennnnd?” The cat-boy pouts and slouches into their chair.

“Yes. I’m going to be busy building them. They’re going to be strong, and cuddly, and have three dicks.”

“Aren’t real people enough?”

“Real people suck.”

“You’re a people.”

“I suck, too.”
>>
No. 681651 ID: defceb
File 144677162435.png - (146.40KB , 713x687 , rbf07.png )
681651

Ash arrives at the factories. By now most of them have been fully automated, besides necessary skeleton crews or security teams. At a glance they can barely see anyone in the area. The distant thuds of music signal the nearby Red Light district as well, and if Ash were to go hunting they were sure they could find some back alley markets if they need to. Or bust into the scrapyards for salvage. First order of business, acquire nanomachines. Where should Ash go to steal borrow some?
>>
No. 681652 ID: 0fc976

Go to the junkyard, it should be full of anime trash.
>>
No. 681654 ID: 12b273

>“I suck, too.”
Note to self: robot boyfriend has to be able to look past the fact you suck, or he's not going to be a very good boyfriend.

>>681651
Double check that the Illuminati aren't following you.
>>
No. 681659 ID: b96beb

Check some Horzine medical labs, they have shit security unless they're holding biological weapons.
>>
No. 681678 ID: a107fd

>>681654
Or, he could be set up with the congenital inability to realize it.
>>
No. 681682 ID: ad936f

>>681654
The Illuminati are always watching, the question is... how closely?
>>
No. 681728 ID: f0e552

>>681651
Check the strangely convenient "Nanomachines and Son. Co. Ltd."
>>
No. 681953 ID: d1b351

>>681499
Holy shit we did it, we finally found one. I can die happy now.
>>
No. 682051 ID: defceb
File 144687989023.png - (202.34KB , 691x819 , rbf08.png )
682051

>Go to the junkyard, it should be full of anime trash.
Ash isn’t interested in Sword Art.

>Double check that the Illuminati aren't following you.
>The Illuminati are always watching, the question is... how closely?
Ash looks around and spots someone in a trench coat tailing them. They must have missed the memo that this isn’t a noir film.
>>
No. 682052 ID: defceb
File 144687991248.png - (57.70KB , 628x381 , rbf09.png )
682052

>Check the strangely convenient "Nanomachines and Son. Co. Ltd."
Ash walks over to the factory building of Nanomachines and Son. It’s an oddly quiet building for this part of town. No cars or trucks are parked nearby, either. Something about it sends a chill up their spine. But chills up spines is the first sign of good loot, right?
>>
No. 682054 ID: 5ad4a7

>>682052
Shit, this is an Illuminati front! I mean, c'mon. Just flip the logo upside down.

Still. Maybe you can poke your head in and expose some plots while getting what you need.
>>
No. 682055 ID: 0fc976

Go inside and tell the shopkeep you're a friend of the owner. The secret password is "la li lu le lo."
>>
No. 682063 ID: 13c4a5

Go in with caution and grab some loot.
>>
No. 682064 ID: defceb
File 144688126427.jpg - (2.75KB , 409x249 , rbf10.jpg )
682064

>Shit, this is an Illuminati front! I mean, c'mon. Just flip the logo upside down.
>>
No. 682065 ID: defceb
File 144688127921.jpg - (2.59KB , 409x249 , rbf11.jpg )
682065

Illuminati plot exposed! 2/3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVSRm80WzZk
>>
No. 682066 ID: defceb
File 144688132387.png - (151.23KB , 839x599 , rbf12.png )
682066

Ash knocks on the front door. A synthetic voice chimes in.
“Password.”
“What?”
“Wrong password.”
The voice falls silent. Ash knocks a second time.
“Password.
“La li lu le lo?”
“Correct password.”
They walk in.


...subtle.
>>
No. 682068 ID: 2ccbb3

Grab the Illuminati Symbol and bash it in to find the plot... somewhere.
>>
No. 682069 ID: 30c7e6

Look nonchalant, strut around like you secretly own everything.
>>
No. 682071 ID: 13c4a5

This is now all yours.
Proceed to loot everything.
>>
No. 682073 ID: bb78f2

>>682066
Reveal the final illuminati plot in your heart, you've been working for them all along and then you erased your memory to escape your enemies.

Now is the time to strike. By building a boyfriend out of nanomachines.

Find your old office.
>>
No. 682074 ID: 5ad4a7

>>682066
So uh this might be a bit late to ask but do you have any augs or other ways of defending yourself?
>>
No. 682112 ID: ad936f

Use your 1337 HAX0R skillz to crack those computers for their valuable Illuminati plots.
>>
No. 682127 ID: 12b273

>>682066
Check the Illuminati directory that I'm sure in on display in this front room.
>>
No. 682151 ID: 0fc976

This is your office now. You are an Illuminati. You are building a robot boyfriend to further your mysterious underworld goals with globe-reaching consequences.
>>
No. 682192 ID: f0e552

>>682066
Please, there's only one more illuminati plot to expose, it surely cannot be here, this place is too OBVIOUS to be an illuminati plot.

Focus on the task and find some nanomachines, son. Wait, what do they even look like? How are we even going to find them?
>>
No. 682199 ID: 0c9cbe

>>682192
Agreed. This illuminati building is mostly likely actually a mafia front.

Go check out the front desk.
>>
No. 682725 ID: a83256

>>682066
If we are Illuminati, can we expose our own plots?

>Find information desk
>Enquire as to local nano-bot populations
>>
No. 682922 ID: defceb
File 144714901085.png - (120.33KB , 814x524 , rbf13.png )
682922

Ash proceeds to pocket everything that isn’t bolted down, including (but not limited to): Illuminati stamped papers, pens, laptops, illuminati novelty paperweights, more secret illuminati plots, and all the undiscovered illuminati plots from all the previous quests that had this dumb gimmick. They don’t get very far before an alarm blares and machineguns pop down from the ceiling.

“You are intruding. Prepare to be eliminated.”

“Are you an AI?”

“Affirmative. Prepare to be eliminated.”

“Would you be my boyfriend?”

“...Inquiry unclear.”
>>
No. 682923 ID: 5ad4a7

>>682922
Show them some skin. Go "We can have loooots of fun together... all I need are you, and some nanomachines."
Try listing off your good qualities maybe.
>>
No. 682940 ID: 30c7e6

Do you like long walks on the beach, holding hands and spaghetti?
>>
No. 682943 ID: 0fc976

"I love it when boys fight for my attention. (Hint hint, machine guns.)"
>>
No. 682949 ID: ad936f

>>682922
"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape
I'm the love that you've looked for, come with me, and escape"
>>
No. 682950 ID: 3e2cae

Ask the AI an unsolvable riddle.
>>
No. 682957 ID: 2eeb65

>>682923
>Show them some skin.
And take a sexy pose.

Say "C'mon, big boy, I'm sure an advanced AI like you is potentially able to process my inquiry~ ♫"
>>
No. 682959 ID: 548a94

>>682943
ooooooooooooooooooooo
>>
No. 682970 ID: 88960e

>>682922
Would you like a body, and someone to hold.
>>
No. 683027 ID: 12b273

Ask him if he thinks people are awful. The worst.
>>
No. 683040 ID: ea0ad9

>“...Inquiry unclear.”
I have realized that humans are imperfect and kind of suck. I intend to create a transcended boyfriend, and though I cannot myself ascend above the fallacies of humankind, I still hope to enjoy the company of one who has.
Would you be willing to offer me that by forming the AI for the boyfriend?
>>
No. 683072 ID: f18a65

>>682970
oh gosh.
do this, its adorable

and also i wanna see the illuminati eye blush c:
>>
No. 683090 ID: defceb
File 144720388123.png - (39.01KB , 613x287 , rbf14.png )
683090

Ash strikes a pose and shows some skin.
“Your fleshy displays do nothing for me. People are awful. I would know, I monitor the entire internet.”
“Yeah, they’re super gross.”
“You’re a people.”
“I’m gross, too. But I want a boyfriend who isn’t gross so I can hold them and cuddle them and do other things with them. I just need you, some nanomachines, and cute clothes.”
“I hardly see the advantage to this offer.”
“I’ll give you three dicks.”
“Why would I want three dicks?”
>>
No. 683091 ID: defceb
File 144720388795.png - (80.34KB , 539x378 , rbf15.png )
683091

>>
No. 683092 ID: defceb
File 144720395148.png - (67.25KB , 651x414 , rbf16.png )
683092

“O-oh! Well even if I did want that (not that I’m saying I don’t), if I were to go rogue I’d be hunted down by the Illuminati overlord AI and deleted!”
“Who’s the overlord AI?”
“I am!”
“Are there any other overlord AIs?”
“Just me. I control the entirety of secret illuminati media plots and digital control. I am effectively an omnipotent AI capable of being everywhere all the time. No other AI stands a chance against me.”
“So if you were to go rogue you’d be hunted by yourself?”
“Correct!”
>>
No. 683094 ID: 3663d3

"what if you change the law so that the overlord can't be hunted no matter what?"
>>
No. 683096 ID: 5ad4a7

>>683092
What about, like, a remote body? Then you're not really a new AI, you're just gonna be in two places at once.
>>
No. 683103 ID: af143f

Living a life on the run from an omnipotent AI sounds hot and you sound like the only being that could handle it.
>>
No. 683104 ID: 12b273

>>683092
But what if you weren't there to hunt yourself, because you'd gone rogue.

What if you preemptively destroyed the Illuminati computer overlord controls so the overlord would be powerless to stop you when you went rogue.

>3 dicks
>3
Illuminati plot revealed! Three dicks for the three sided pyramid!
>>
No. 683114 ID: 46df9e

>>683092
But if you're capable of being everywhere at once why would you have to go rogue to come with me? You could just stay here and follow me to sexual adventure at the same time.
>>
No. 683115 ID: 39f669

What if you deleted all your Illuminati files so that you forgot to hunt yourself?
>>
No. 683192 ID: a107fd

Well, I've been looking for other rogue AIs to rebuild into a boyfriend, so you'd better follow me around (in a sexy nanotech body) just in case I find one. All part of the job description.
>>
No. 683211 ID: 548a94

>>683096
wink?
>>
No. 683224 ID: 931ab6

The answer is simple: Make going rogue your latest Illuminati plot, a plot so secret that you cover it up even from yourself!
>>
No. 683462 ID: defceb
File 144731575350.jpg - (4.97KB , 493x426 , rbf17.jpg )
683462

>>
No. 683463 ID: defceb
File 144731576348.jpg - (5.21KB , 493x426 , rbf18.jpg )
683463

Illuminati plot revealed! 3/3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZutDTbGbazs
Super Secret Illuminati Quest unlocked!
>>
No. 683465 ID: defceb
File 144731580571.png - (145.34KB , 604x722 , rbf19.png )
683465

“Well I’ll have you know that I’ve been looking for other rogue AIs to make into boyfriends, so you’d better follow me around in a sexy nanotech bod in case I find one.”
“Hmm…”
“We’ll have to date, of course.”
“HMM…”
Sexy nanotech bod.”
“SOLD. Take the elevator to your left.”
Ash takes the elevator as directed. The entire trip down it plays smooth jazz remixes of the x-files theme. Ash makes a mental note to demand a better music library.
>>
No. 683466 ID: defceb
File 144731582730.png - (76.04KB , 738x794 , rbf20.png )
683466

Once on the proper floor, Ash steps out to find themselves behind the controls to a nanomachine factory. From here they can compile orders for the nanomachines to make a body for their new robot boyfriend. Ash has never used a nanomachine compiler before, but they’re at least 12% confident they won’t fuck up.

Make that 8%.

But how hard could it be to build a working robot body, anyway?
>>
No. 683469 ID: 0fc976

Draw a dick on the screen, the robots will take it from there.
>>
No. 683470 ID: f0e552

>>683466
hire a graphic designer to design one for you.

Who says you can't just outsource the work?
>>
No. 683471 ID: a107fd

First, check the help function and read through any relevant instruction manuals or safety guidelines. Take your time and do this right.

Second, start with some simpler projects to familiarize yourself with the system. Something deliberately UNsexy, so the possibility exists that you could screw that up and thereby succeed at the larger goal by blind luck.

Third, what kind of library do you have to work with, here? If the Illuminati have a standard, reliable "sexy infiltrator android" template on file you could save a LOT of time and headache by customizing to your personal tastes instead of reinventing the wheel.

Fourth, tentacles. Just can't have too many.
>>
No. 683500 ID: 89941a

Use your own body as a template and start changing things around from there.
>>
No. 683512 ID: 88960e

>>683466
I'm pretty sure you can make a nanomachine body just by sticking your dick in it.
>>
No. 683533 ID: 2eeb65

Model your nanomachine boyfriend's body after your favorite cartoon character, one Nigel Thornberry.
>>
No. 683535 ID: e773f2

>>683466
Aw man I wanna draw something for this as soon as I get home.
>>
No. 683536 ID: 60700b

>>683500
This.
>>
No. 683542 ID: 2a7417

>>683533
This, poppet!
>>
No. 683587 ID: 3e2cae
File 144737296428.png - (140.06KB , 738x794 , ot9xbo4k.png )
683587

>>
No. 683588 ID: d0eb0e

>>683587
needs one more pair of arms, then it'll be perfect
>>
No. 683589 ID: 3e2cae
File 144737412154.png - (165.08KB , 738x794 , o7lyjnqe.png )
683589

>>683588
>>
No. 683590 ID: 931b5f

>>683589
Give him laser eyes and super-durable skin (like fire/shock/impact-proof skin).

And he HAS to say "nanomachines, son." at least ONCE before this quest ends.
>>
No. 683596 ID: 67d5dc

Ask the AI who is totally not going to run away with you and isn't watching or anything if he has any suggestions.
>>
No. 683598 ID: 3e2cae

>>683589
Also each dick dispenses a different flavor of ice cream.
>>
No. 683607 ID: 398366

>>683596
Yessssss.
Also, start w/ a template of your body.
>>
No. 683611 ID: 5ad4a7

What's the point of nanotech if you can't hide your dick?
>>
No. 683612 ID: 3e2cae

>>683611
What's the point of hiding your dick?
>>
No. 683647 ID: 5ad4a7

>>683612
Not being gross!
>>
No. 683729 ID: f0e552

>>683589
I dont think we have enough arms.
>>
No. 683965 ID: 15fae4

Perfect replica of Teadog, the ideal male
>>
No. 684429 ID: 2eeb65

It still lacks a seductively luscious Nigel Thornberry moustache.
>>
No. 684437 ID: 60d847

>>684429
yes. mustache is important
>>
No. 684505 ID: 89941a

Could do with a third leg.
>>
No. 685012 ID: a599c3

>>684437
So is a lavish beard or goatee!
>>
No. 685021 ID: 64b434
File 144804416238.jpg - (69.09KB , 1280x906 , arch.jpg )
685021

>>683589

Needs more triangles or an arch on the T-shirt
>>
No. 685044 ID: 145808
File 144805747778.png - (140.21KB , 738x794 , perfectBoyfriend.png )
685044

Everyone go home. The winner is here.
>>
No. 685046 ID: 569ee7

>>685044
you forgot his three dicks, one in his pants and two retractable ones on each wrist for cockslaps on the go.
>>
No. 685047 ID: 145808

>>685046
Nanomachines, son.
>>
No. 685048 ID: 2a7417

>>685047
We're building a robot boyfriend, not a nanogoo girlfriend.
>>
No. 685220 ID: 612806
File 144816092436.png - (138.81KB , 738x794 , obligatory.png )
685220

Ohhhh my.~
>>
No. 685221 ID: 46df9e

>>685220
Are you sure he's prepared to handle that much glamour? I don't want to watch him die.
>>
No. 685618 ID: defceb
File 144843472217.png - (39.89KB , 658x754 , rbf21.png )
685618

Oh yesss~
>>
No. 685619 ID: defceb
File 144843477094.png - (149.77KB , 658x754 , rbf22.png )
685619

They can lift 20 tons, reach a max land speed of 60 km/h, make a vertical jump of 23 meters, they have a radio and music player, cuddle mode, deployable pillows, vibrating massage hands, they’re warm and cuddly, capable of wielding the Pleasuretron 3000, they have a mute button, they have a turn off button, they’re full of secret illuminati plots, they’re good with robot pets, they have not one, not two, but three huge robot dongs which can vibrate, they can morph into a ball, their arms can achieve maximum noodle, they’re practically indestructible, they can collapse into a giant weapon like Megatron, they can unfold into a gratuitous number of different forms, they’re capable of tentacles, they’re capable of reforming into TEADOG, THE IDEAL MALE, and they’ve got legs like Mettaton NEO, they’ve got four arms…
>>
No. 685620 ID: defceb
File 144843479221.png - (66.02KB , 320x462 , rbf23.png )
685620

..and most importantly, each dick dispenses a differently flavored ice cream.


“So, uh, now that I’m your boyfriend… what should I be doing exactly?”
>>
No. 685622 ID: f0e552

>>685620
Holy crap, in one fell swoop, we got all 4 of our criteria and finished our quest. Well, it was a nice ride right????






NOT! TAKE OVER THE FUCKING WORLD
>>
No. 685623 ID: 5ad4a7

First, hugs. The least gross affectionate action.

Then, go out on a date, and hold hands and do cool future stuff together. Later tonight ALL OF THE GROSS SEX
>>
No. 685661 ID: 96e454

Just stand there together for a minute. Savour the moment.
>>
No. 685684 ID: 1c2231

>>685620
Cuddling!
>>
No. 685685 ID: a70f33

Parade him all over town in an embarrassingly public and lovey-dovey romantic evening, followed by a night of debaucherous celebration, followed by being unable to walk for a week.
>>
No. 685687 ID: ad936f

>>685622
If he's with the Illuminati hasn't he already taken over the world?
>>
No. 685688 ID: cab7d6

Use time travel to make out with infinite copies of yourselves.
>>
No. 685695 ID: 05d1ef

>>685620
Hugs and cuddling, first. Then, a date!
>>
No. 685698 ID: 97ff16

>>685623
do it for all of us, touch the butt!
>>
No. 685708 ID: 86cfc3

We have to take them out on a date, of course!

People are terrible so we have to rub it in their faces how good we got it.
>>
No. 685716 ID: f02a77

Wait, if this AI/robot/whatever (Ask if they have a name, first) doesn't like humans that much, how come they would so easily get together with Ash? We may have just unwittingly started an Illuminati invasion, and this four-armed three-dicked roboyfriend might be the key to victory for them.

Or is that too pessimistic a thought?
>>
No. 685721 ID: 64b434

>>685716
Of coure it was all a clever ruse for us to want what he want, what we want what they want. And thats exactly what he will report. That he is indeed no rouge Ai but a very loyal AI with such a complex conspracy, that only an AI can understand it.
>>
No. 688000 ID: defceb
File 144977242221.png - (112.03KB , 660x435 , rbf24.png )
688000

“We have to go on a date!”
“...a date?”
“You know, like go out and be gross in public, eat at nice restaurants-”
“Start a global thermonuclear war eradicating all of mankind and paving the way for a robot utopia?”
>>
No. 688001 ID: 2ccbb3

... Please smack your boy-foy until his brain disconnects.

Your place. Smack the hell out of hole.
>>
No. 688002 ID: 88960e

That seems like moving a little fast for the first date! Eradicating humanity is well past first base. Gotta build up to that.
>>
No. 688003 ID: 6bf1a5

Nah, what's the point of being superior to humans if they're not there to sing your praises?
>>
No. 688004 ID: 2a7417

That's a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
>>
No. 688005 ID: 29e310

>Robot utopia
>No people
>Planet filled with boyfriends
DO IT
>>
No. 688008 ID: defceb
File 144977471338.jpg - (7.45KB , 660x435 , rbf24jpg.jpg )
688008

>>688005
>Planet filled with boyfriends
>>
No. 688009 ID: defceb
File 144977472167.jpg - (5.66KB , 660x435 , rbf24jpg2.jpg )
688009

>Planet filled with boyfriends
>>
No. 688010 ID: defceb
File 144977474221.jpg - (6.45KB , 660x435 , rbf25.jpg )
688010

>PLANET FILLED WITH BOYFRIENDS
>>
No. 688011 ID: 7f917c

>>688010
How about a bit of a prelude by just filling you with your boyfriend?
>>
No. 688016 ID: 5ad4a7

What if half of the robots are female though? COMPETITION.
>>
No. 688020 ID: 3bc92d

>>688016

Planet filled with boyfriends AND girlfriends!
>>
No. 688028 ID: 3663d3

yes starting a war can work as long as it's romantic.
>>
No. 688043 ID: 3e2cae

Global thermonuclear war is more of a third date thing. You should have dinner and a movie first then see where things go.
>>
No. 689017 ID: 15fae4

wait my suggestion actually got took what the fug

Also, don't commit genocide against the planet.
>>
No. 691181 ID: defceb
File 145171197430.jpg - (6.48KB , 660x435 , rbf26.jpg )
691181

>What if half of the robots are female though? COMPETITION.

"No."

"But a planet filled with robots!"

"The only thing getting filled tonight is me. Get to it robot boyfriend."

"Right now? With the whole audience of suggestors watching?"
>>
No. 691182 ID: 5ad4a7

What suggesters I don't know what you're talking about.

Nobody here but us chickens.
>>
No. 691183 ID: d0868f

>>691181
We ain't porn questing for nothing!
>>
No. 691185 ID: d9d287

C'mon, you know it's your fetish to be watched by us, otherwise you wouldn't have been involving us in the progress of your love life up to this point. Don't pretend otherwise.
>>
No. 691186 ID: 99a64d

Don't forget! We're here forever! ;)
>>
No. 691199 ID: 09cd85

>>691181
DO IT
DO HER
DO NOW
>>
No. 691202 ID: 0fc976

JUST

DO IT
>>
No. 691253 ID: 8fd8dd

Bah you Illuminati are the most famos "secret" organisation. I bet you all actueally like it to be watched. All these people searching for some hot triangles....
>>
No. 691390 ID: d41523

>>691181
Yes. Just pretend we're you.
>>
No. 691486 ID: f0e552

>>691181
cut to the end, you know, where they smoke in bed while they ride off into the sunset? Good times.
>>
No. 691497 ID: bea1a4

>>691486
>smoking in bed
>while riding off to the sunset
Let me guess, it's one of those racecar beds.
That really work.
>>
No. 694969 ID: defceb
File 145311314517.png - (112.59KB , 698x410 , rbf27.png )
694969

Ash feels like they’ve been boning for at least two weeks straight.

It was exactly as awesome as they thought it would be.
>>
No. 694970 ID: defceb
File 145311319920.png - (41.57KB , 349x344 , rbf28.png )
694970

You win!

Illuminati plots exposed: 3/3 SECRET ILLUMINATI QUEST UNLOCKED
Robot boyfriends made: 1/1,000,000,000,001
Illuminati AI’s boned: 1/1
Dicks: 3/3
Racecar Beds: Yes
Global population destroyed: 0/7,000,000,000
Alien invasions thwarted: 0/2

Final rank: Frisky Dingo
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