Origin: Golboria

Gender: Skut

Deem or Marie.

Origin: present day earth, Boeing AH-64 Apache

Gender: Attack Helicopter

Skut is not a gender; you can't send more than one so you have to be more specific. Nem's not going to date more than one person.

Then suggestion rescinded

>>778052
Anti-aircraft missiles took out your chopper. Funeral is this Friday after we salvage the usable scrap.

>>778057
Nem has anti-aircraft missiles?! WOW, what a catch!

>>778058
No, the Dating Show does though. Nem would never shoot down a random helicopter. Not without orders from the top.

Origin: Athelhom Crater (tozol)
Gender: female

Origin: Earth, Crotale NG

Gender: Surface-to-Air Missile Platform

>>778062
We are not allowed any military grade weaponry on the show for security reasons.

>>778061
I just did a read-up on Tozols (http://tgchan.org/wiki/Tozol) and I'm afraid I'm going to have to disqualify them on the basis of two factors:

1. They seem highly incompatible with Nem's world mechanics due to their 'magical attack immunity'.

2. This is supposed to be a nice fun quest and the amount of reading I'd have to due to figure out how to handle tozols is too much work. However, I would not at all object to TestPattern taking up shop in this thread for those who would like to date a tozol.

>>778045
Origin: Other (Primordial Universe)
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Primordial_Evolution_Game

Gender: Puruu

Protip: Puruus might kiss with tongue. But is also incredibly toxic.

Keriket you fool.

Oh boy.

Name: Quizwarz Ofellow
Species: Deep Noble [also known as Mi-Go] (From a non-Tgchan quest known as Deep Rise... if that's okay.)
Gender: Herm
Occupation: Surgeon
Sub-Occupation: Bio-Engineer
Sub-Sub-Occupation: ... Cook
Sub-Sub-Sub-okay fine, shi's a professional serial killer. Of course, shi's so good at her first job that she can surgically bring back the dead, no magic involved! Of course, nobody's sure if Deep Noble surgical techniques requires the patients' souls...

... but it sure doesn't require their consent.

Character Generation: Present Day Earth (Underground)

>>778068
I'm not doing any race that would require an extensive amount of reading for me to understand first.

>>778069
>KERIKET, DEEM, MARIE or HIN: That gets a bit complicated since I'm not familiar enough with the characters to write them, so we'd have to use CHEAP KNOCK-OFF versions of them.

Besides, Hin is cheat mode. If Hin was to go on the date Nem would just drop her panties and what's the challenge and fun in that?

RaccoonGuy 2017/02/07(Tue)23:38 No. 778073 ID: 9876c4
File 148653951129.png - (50.84KB , 774x448 , Triumphant Return.png )

Origin: Post-Apocolyptic Earth
Gender: Muscle

Lost my geiger counter, and long story short, now I'm on this dating show!

>>778072
Well there's a basic low-down on a Puruu over here
http://www.tgchan.org/kusaba/questdis/res/108035.html

Not much to read, really.

>>778070
>>778077

If you're going to name a race that's not a generic fantasy or established sci-fi race, please submit a Cole's Notes version since not only am I going to have to know what the race is about, so will all the other players. Having the TLDR version on hand in the thread will just make it easy for everyone else.

I usually like to be familiar about a race's general culture for writing purposes -- hence why the first 4 selections are all within Nem's world and the fifth is easy.

Present day earth, circa 20XX.

gender: Female Oculot.

Name: Krinstezj

>>778079
I think I can mimic her pretty easily, but she's still going to be the knock-off version of her because it will be funny (Plus you'll be able to modify her come PHASE TWO)

>>778078
Puruu tl;dr:
>imagine a jellyfish
>that is shaped like a small four-armed imp
>that reproduces by spitting an egg-shaped part of itself into a spawning pool
>afterwards another individual will gulp the 'egg' until it develops into small versions, and they spit the 'babies' out
>they can use said 'egg' to patch up injuries that would be fatal to humans
>the only way they can be killed is to aim for the brain/head, or dehydration/saltwater
>oh and they're poisonous as fuck

as for culture tl;dr:
>most live in 'jungle'
>tribal lifestyle, hunting and gathering
>big 'families' since child-rearing is communal

>in one tribe they augment their spawning pools with the blood of enemies

>some others are used as lab rats by another species without them really knowing what's going on

Gym Machine, present day earth, other (gym work out machine)

>>778052
I like your style. Keep on laughing, my friend.

6: The Darkened Recesses of the Marianas Trench

3: genderless mind-searing abomination with surprisingly thought out and tacit views on geopolitical issues

>>778079
Second

>>778100
2nd

PHASE 1B - Contestant Origin Refinements Smik 2017/02/08(Wed)11:31 No. 778133 ID: e136ae
File 148658227095.jpg - (215.23KB , 640x720 , BindDatePhase1B.jpg )

Our contestants are now narrowed down to:
* OCULOT
* HUMAN from an ALTERNATIVE EARTH
* DEEP ONE

Just a note, the Deep Ones would like to point out that mind-searing abominations are NOT who they are and that was NOT OK, they are a culture not a costume. They blame Lovecraft for this insensitive stereotype. He was just mad that they weren't white yet oh-so-sexy. They suspect he was just jealous of the tentacle genitalia.

That said, it is now time for PHASE 1B: ORIGIN REFINEMENT

OCULOT
Most votes lean towards Krin for Oculot, but now that the selection process is narrowed to 2 possible choices based on suggestions.
Please choose: MALE or FEMALE

HUMAN
Based on suggestions please vote between MALE or FEMALE.

DEEP ONE
While Deep Ones can defy standard human genders, we still need to know what options to have available. Your Deep One may have any of the following:
* Boobs (Up to 4)
* Penis (3D4 tentacles)
* Vagina (3D4 pathways)
* Additional orifice (indicate location on humanoid)

>>778133
Krunk the rule 63 Krin. meaning male.
female human. with AA cup boobs.
deep one : 3 boobs, 2 penisi, and 3 vagu

>>778134
also 1 mouth for the deep one

Okay, here's the author's synopsis of Deep Ones

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=99545.0

And here are the relevant advantages:
1) Healing Factor (capable of going on daring hobbies like skydiving without a parachute without fear of dying)
2) Biologically Equipped Field Bioengineer (Can perform plastic surgery or genetic modification on hirself or Nem or any other living plant, animal, or fungus in the middle of a date in record time)
3) Multiple Personalities in Various Tentacle Limbs (For that extra "tail has a mind of its own" experience)
4) Entire Body Becomes Erogenous Zone During Sex (THIS)

Disadvantages:
1) Tentacle Monster (shunned in most public outings)
2) No Social Skills + Mad Scientist Tendencies (may say or do very disturbing things without realizing)
3) No breasts :(((((( (Though they could just make some on their own bodies, well, it would be like your entire boob was a sensitive pimple)

Male and Female Genitals. Note that these are not the ONLY way that Deep Ones can reproduce, but that's not something our heroine intends to do at all on this quest.

And that's my vote in a watermelon shell.

>>778139
... Oh wait no it isn't. Here's my vote for the three people Nem is going to date sorry

Oculot: Galatora, Female
Human: Michael Roberts, Male
Deep One: Quizwarz Ofellow (But she intends to let Nem choose her very first Social Name. Just to make things special), 0 Boobs, but entire body is technically both reproductive organs.

rolled 1, 3, 4, 4, 4, 2 = 18

---

Oculot: Hizz (still dead)

Human: Female, Mary Sue

Deep One: 4 boobs, first 3 rolls are penises and last 3 are vaginas, but their reproductive system is organized like an open circulatory system so the dicks are basically pumping various fluids out constantly.

>>778133
Kaze is probably closest to a MALE human.
Albeit one with lots of stuffed animals.

Out of curiosity how long would people like to wait between vote tally?

Oculot: female (Krin)
human: male
deep one: one of each, including a set of boobs.

rolled 4, 2, 2, 4, 1, 2, 4 = 19

---

Oculot: Male.

Human: Female.

Deep one: Rolling for 1d4 boob count, 3d4 tentacles, and 3d4 pathways, in that order.

Currently we lean towards male Oculot, a 50/50 random for the human, and the Deep One will have a bit of everything rolled randomly.

>>778133
Deep One, two boobs good, genitalia randomly generated.

Human man-penis

PHASE TWO - Contestant #1 Smik 2017/02/08(Wed)20:50 No. 778276 ID: e136ae
File 148661580947.jpg - (329.68KB , 640x720 , ContestantOne.jpg )

PRESENTING OUR FIRST CONTESTANT:
Male Oculot
Cheap Priate Knock-Off of the Keriket
THE KERIKRONK!


The KERIKRONK has the ability to access the THIRD EYE NETWORK within Nem's world and has the bonus ability of making excellent spinach puffs!

PHASE TWO: TRAIT and FLAWS – Pick ONE of each

We now modify CONTESTANT #1 with a TRAIT and a FLAW.
The TRAIT and FLAW you pick for this contestant will NOT be available for the other two; each gets one unique trait and flaw.


TRAITS
* Krin’s Adorkableness
* Marie’s ENHANCE KNOCKERS (enlarge boobs on command - yes even for our male)
* Enhance Dongers (On command)
* Thic ASS
* Big Boobs
* Large Package
* Six-Pack (abs)
* Six-Pack (beer)
* Hyper Immune System – you don’t get sick and alcohol and drugs have little effect.
* Foodie – You have knowledge of food and a refined palate
* Luscious lips
* MANLY PHYSIQUE
* GIRLISH FIGURE (does not impact boob size)
* Power of THE LEGEND (lots of experience, ability to con)
* CYBERWARE: Wired Reflexes
* Experience: Gaelish culture
* Virgin
* Musk – You have a gender-specific odour which will either turn on or repulse people.
*Prehensile Tail – For some reason you have a tail and it’s useful.
*Good Listener – You read and understand people better.
* Way with Words – Everything just sounds better when you say it.
* Enhanced Sense of Smell – Your sniffer is sensitive enough to hunt truffles with.
* MUTATION! Two traits are rolled randomly instead.


FLAWS
* Functioning Alcoholic – It will be clear on the dinner date that you have a problem. When combined with Hyper Immune System it makes you a frustrated alcoholic like Sami – you will drink a lot, not get drunk, and just pee it all out.
* Pothead – You overindulge in soft drugs and you will be stoned throughout the quest.
* Bad breath – Nothing will fix it.
* Verbal Tick – Snarf snarf
* Crazy Ex – who is stalking you as we speak.
* Mayfly Curse – You have 24 hrs to mate or die. The specifics of this curse mean as long as someone else gets you off, you will survive.
* Over-sensitive Sexual System – Causes premature ejaculation
* Hyper Caffeine Addict – You will pass out if you don’t sip coffee every five minutes. Decaff will knock you out.
* Explosive Flatulence – You don’t know when it will strike.
* Snanal Obsessive – You have Chuck’s obsession for the Mayor’s ass, except it’s just ass in general.
* Broke – You have no cash and you won’t be able to pay for dates not sponsored by the Dating Show.
* Rich Asshole – And you can’t shut up about it.
* Spike Von Scratchinpost Syndrome – You occasionally go wall-eyed
and spout nonsense and you don’t know where your balls are or if they are functioning.
* Manual Samuel Syndrome – Your breathing, spine and coordination is now all manual and you will have to focus to do any of it.
* Price On Your Head – Less socially embarrassing than a crazy ex and at least you always know what’s on the agenda, but you might not live through the date.
* Pregnant, regardless of gender. Side effects include reduced bladder capacity, waddling, and nesting need.
* Microgenitals – Micro penis
* Impulsive – You will act on a RANDOM suggestion instead of the most popular one or in-character one.
* Rhymes on a Dime, All the Time – You must speak in rhyme. All suggestions must be in rhyme to qualify. This may get irritating.
* No sense of Smell – Food is no fun and you might stink.
* CURSE OF FLAW MUTATION – You randomly develop any one of the above flaws temporarily without warning or justification (but at least you only get one at a time)

WAY WITH WORDS and SNANAL OBSESSIVE

Hyper Immune System and pothead

>>778276
6 pack of beer and microgenitals.

>>778276
clearly manly physique. If we're rolling Kronkulot we need to COMMIT.

Rhymes on a Dime is clearly the best option to go for,
we are going to rap our way through as we take her on the dance floor!

>>778278
I see that, and raise you to Musk and pothead.

Fuck, just look at him.

Enhance Dongers and Mayfly Curse

This is a great list of flaws, I want to use so many of them at the same time.

>>778276
Cyberware: wired reflexes,
Crazy ex, who may or may not be why the reflexes were needed.

manly physique and price on your head.

Kronkulot is in danger OH NO!

... Well, Nem needs some experience with identifying douchebags. She may as well date one.

Way with Words
Rich Asshole

This will hurt, does Nem have her were-reaper power or is she just plain mortal in this quest?

>>778279
Microgentials, do you suppose that would stack with the smaller-than-human canon Oculots, or just be fitting?

Way With Words... And Impulsive.

I wanna see what happens when Kome's suggestions end up working...

Way with words. The use of words in ways that makes them sound good. That way with words. Got it.

And impulsive.

>>778293
Nem is fully powered. Check her eyes -- they've got a tint of orange.

However she doesn't murder people for no good reason. She doesn't consider 'that person is a douche' to be a good reason for murder.

>>778294
They stack. So he'd have a dick so small, it would be like he didn't have a dick at all!

Also just a side note -- you have TWO OTHER CONTESTANTS and you will be playing ALL THREE, with the winner going on the date. There are many tactical opportunities here to get your favourite contestant to the date.

Smik 2017/02/09(Thu)00:13 No. 778303 ID: e136ae
File 148662799282.jpg - (397.23KB , 640x720 , ContestantTwo.jpg )

** The general consensus for the KERIKRONK trait seems to be WAY WITH WORDS and IMPULSIVE. These seem the most accurate fit to character anyway. **


PRESENTING OUR SECOND CONTESTANT:
Male Human
Cheap Priate Knock-Off of the Gritty Post-Apoc Wasteland
KRAZE!

Kraze is SUPER GRITTY from a DARK AND GRITTY FUTURE where he punches radscorpions to death with his BARE HANDS.

Kraze starts with the free trait of TOM'S MANLY PHYSIQUE. He can take this trait again to gain EXTRA MANLY PHYSIQUE, a physique SO MANLY he would be able to beat ACE to death with his bare hands and the craft something from his worm face.

Available TRAITS
* Krin’s Adorkableness
* Marie’s ENHANCE KNOCKERS (enlarge boobs on command - yes even for our male)
* Enhance Dongers (On command)
* Thic ASS
* Big Boobs
* Large Package
* Six-Pack (abs)
* Six-Pack (beer)
* Hyper Immune System – you don’t get sick and alcohol and drugs have little effect.
* Foodie – You have knowledge of food and a refined palate
* Luscious lips
* EXTRA MANLY PHYSIQUE
* Power of THE LEGEND (lots of experience, ability to con)
* CYBERWARE: Wired Reflexes
* Experience: Gaelish culture
* Virgin
* Musk – You have a gender-specific odour which will either turn on or repulse people.
* Prehensile Tail – For some reason you have a tail and it’s useful.
* Good Listener – You read and understand people better.
* Enhanced Sense of Smell – Your sniffer is sensitive enough to hunt truffles with.
* MUTATION! THREE traits and one extra FLAW are rolled randomly instead, because KRAZE comes from the land of mutants!



Available FLAWS
* Functioning Alcoholic – It will be clear on the dinner date that you have a problem. When combined with Hyper Immune System it makes you a frustrated alcoholic like Sami – you will drink a lot, not get drunk, and just pee it all out.
* Pothead – You overindulge in soft drugs and you will be stoned throughout the quest.
* Bad breath – Nothing will fix it.
* Verbal Tick – Snarf snarf
* Crazy Ex – who is stalking you as we speak.
* Mayfly Curse – You have 24 hrs to mate or die. The specifics of this curse mean as long as someone else gets you off, you will survive.
* Over-sensitive Sexual System – Causes premature ejaculation
* Hyper Caffeine Addict – You will pass out if you don’t sip coffee every five minutes. Decaff will knock you out.
* Explosive Flatulence – You don’t know when it will strike.
* Snanal Obsessive – You have Chuck’s obsession for the Mayor’s ass, except it’s just ass in general.
* Broke – You have no cash and you won’t be able to pay for dates not sponsored by the Dating Show.
* Rich Asshole – And you can’t shut up about it. Also delusional as your money is actually no good here either.
* Spike Von Scratchinpost Syndrome – You occasionally go wall-eyed
and spout nonsense and you don’t know where your balls are or if they are functioning.
* Manual Samuel Syndrome – Your breathing, spine and coordination is now all manual and you will have to focus to do any of it.
* Price On Your Head – Less socially embarrassing than a crazy ex and at least you always know what’s on the agenda, but you might not live through the date.
* Pregnant, regardless of gender. Side effects include reduced bladder capacity, waddling, and nesting need.
* Microgenitals – Micro penis
* Rhymes on a Dime, All the Time – You must speak in rhyme. All suggestions must be in rhyme to qualify. This may get irritating.
* No sense of Smell – Food is no fun and you might stink.
* CURSE OF FLAW MUTATION – You randomly develop any TWO of the above flaws temporarily and one random TRAIT without warning or justification, because Kraze blah blah blah mutants.

Six-pack (beer) and functioning addict.

(No regrets!)

EXTRA MANLY PHYSIQUE +
Functioning Alcoholic

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG

Perk: Musk
Flaw: Musk

Okay, serious suggestion now. Manly Physique and Price On Your Head

EXTRA MANLY PHYSIQUE but Broke.

Not many opportunities for gainful employment in the wasteland.

I loves it

>>778328
Yep.

Smik 2017/02/09(Thu)14:39 No. 778383 ID: e136ae
File 148667998128.jpg - (445.76KB , 640x720 , Zome.jpg )

** The general consensus for KRAZE's trait seems to be EXTRA MANLY PHYSIQUE (SO MANLY!!!!) and BROKE. **


PRESENTING OUR THIRD CONTESTANT:
Deep One
Randomly Rolled, original 4 titted, 12 dicked merperson with the most COMPLEX VAGINA EVER and a BIRTHING BACKPACK (extra orifice)
ZOME!

ZOME is a DEEP ONE with no specific gender who can survive both bone-crushing pressures and the dryness of air-breather life with shape-shifting, camouflaging abilities of an OCTOPUS! ZOME prefers "they" but understands if people want to call them a "her" due to the amount of breasts and the fact that Zome's penis-tentacles are well hidden, or just call them "AAAHHHHHH!!" once they see Zome's penis tentacles.

Zome avoids using public washrooms. No matter which one Zome uses someone's gonna freak.

Zome starts with the following TRAITS:
- LUCIOUS LIPS
- ENHANCE DONGERS
- ENHANCE KNOCKERS (Traits due to their shape-shifting octo-abilities)
- THIC ASS because Zome simply has to fit all those dongers in somehow.

(Zome cannot get Ruby's Girlish Figure.)

Zome also starts with the following FLAWS:
- BAD BREATH flaw (fishy)
- FISHY SMELL flaw - fills a room
- SLIMEY - while it means no lube is ever needed, it's generally inconvenient and leaves marks everywhere.

Available TRAITS
* Krin’s Adorkableness
* Big Boobs
* Large Package
* Six-Pack (abs)
* Six-Pack (beer)
* Hyper Immune System – you don’t get sick and alcohol and drugs have little effect.
* Foodie – You have knowledge of food and a refined palate
* TOM'S MANLY PHYSIQUE
* Power of THE LEGEND (lots of experience, ability to con)
* CYBERWARE: Wired Reflexes
* Experience: Gaelish culture
* Virgin
* Musk – You have a gender-specific odour which will either turn on or repulse people.
* Good Listener – You read and understand people better.
* Enhanced Sense of Smell – Your sniffer is sensitive enough to hunt truffles with.
* MUTATION! One addition trait is rolled randomly instead.



Available FLAWS
* Functioning Alcoholic – It will be clear on the dinner date that you have a problem. When combined with Hyper Immune System it makes you a frustrated alcoholic like Sami – you will drink a lot, not get drunk, and just pee it all out.
* Pothead – You overindulge in soft drugs and you will be stoned throughout the quest.
* Verbal Tick – Snarf snarf
* Crazy Ex – who is stalking you as we speak.
* Mayfly Curse – You have 24 hrs to mate or die. The specifics of this curse mean as long as someone else gets you off, you will survive.
* Over-sensitive Sexual System – Causes premature ejaculation
* Hyper Caffeine Addict – You will pass out if you don’t sip coffee every five minutes. Decaff will knock you out.
* Explosive Flatulence – You don’t know when it will strike.
* Snanal Obsessive – You have Chuck’s obsession for the Mayor’s ass, except it’s just ass in general.
* Broke – You have no cash and you won’t be able to pay for dates not sponsored by the Dating Show.
* Rich Asshole – And you can’t shut up about it. Also delusional as your money is actually no good here either.
* Spike Von Scratchinpost Syndrome – You occasionally go wall-eyed
and spout nonsense and you don’t know where your balls are or if they are functioning.
* Manual Samuel Syndrome – Your breathing, spine and coordination is now all manual and you will have to focus to do any of it.
* Price On Your Head – Less socially embarrassing than a crazy ex and at least you always know what’s on the agenda, but you might not live through the date.
* Pregnant, regardless of gender. Side effects include reduced bladder capacity, waddling, and nesting need.
* Microgenitals – Micro penis
* Rhymes on a Dime, All the Time – You must speak in rhyme. All suggestions must be in rhyme to qualify. This may get irritating.
* No sense of Smell – Food is no fun and you might stink.
* Sensitive about deep one prejudices and stereotypes.
* CURSE OF FLAW MUTATION – You randomly develop any THREE of the above flaws temporarily and one random TRAIT without warning or justification, because Zome is a mysterious DEEP ONE.

>>778383
Krin's adorkableness
pregnant

My Thoughts:
+Experienced in Gaelic Culture
-Pregnant

I'd totally stick Verbal Tic (Desu) and Adorkableness on Kraze too, but I'd likely need backup votes on that.

>>778389
If you're willing to take on the additional flaw and you get a back-up vote it's a go; Zome's already pretty weird; additional weirdness seems appropriate.

>>778389
Seconded.

>>778401
+ I don't care about the perk.
-Rhymes on a dime.

If it's not too late, I will back this >>778279
For the Kerikronk.

Leading to 2 boons 2 flaws for each of the earlier guests, and 4 for our undersea friend.

This is the suggested attributes of our contestants:

Kerikronk:
- Male
- Oculot
- Third Eye
- Spinach Puffs
- Way with Words
- Impulsive
- 6 Pack Beer
- Micropenis

Kraze:
- Male
- Human
- EXTRA MANLY PHYSIQUE
- Broke
- Verbal Tick
- Krin's Adorkableness

Zome:
- Non-Binary Gender
- Deep One
- Lucious Lips
- Enhance Knockers
- Enhance Dongers
- Thic Ass
- Bad Breath
- Fishy Smell
- Slimey
- Experienced in Gaelish Culture
- Pregnant
- Rhymes on a Dime
- Random Trait


We will be beginning shortly as I sketch up some crap; Zome's MYSTERIOUS TRAIT will be made known once the game begins. I plan to include visual cues when character traits and flaws kick in. You have until I get this stuff ready to protest any additions, which is whenever. ;)

>>778427
I like the setup, and I think all 3 entries are pretty distinct.

Remember that rhymes on a dime will affect future suggestions for all posters. I'm not opposing it, as long as we understand that.

riotmode 2017/02/09(Thu)22:30 No. 778449 ID: 9f3729
File 148670823542.png - (33.98KB , 573x259 , HimTiiv.png )

I think the micropenis doesn't fit well with our kronky dude, so I vote not to do that
the reason is well summed up by my capcha

Obviously, Zome needs to fill all of Nem's untouched orifices with her eggs. ...and maybe Kerikronk. ...and Kraze, if the risk is worth it. If not, maybe the host instead.

Zome, best contestant.

DATING SHOW START! Smik 2017/02/13(Mon)18:26 No. 779359 ID: e136ae
File 148703916229.jpg - (387.28KB , 640x720 , BlindDate1.jpg )

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's THAT DATING SHOW!

Incredibly cheesie music plays.

Host HostersonToday's lucky lady hails from NORTH GAELEND and is the current THIRTEEN: AVATAR OF DEATH AND CHANGE. This lovely lady is part faeire and if your name is on her list, she can KILL YOU WITH A TOUCH but she's also EXTRA VIRGIN having never even been kissed and is looking for love! Please welcome NEMAIN MORRIGAN!

Nem: ... way to focus on the last things I want focus on, Host.

Host Hosterson: You are an AVATAR OF DEATH Nem, I gotta bait the trap somehow! And now let's welcome our three hopeful daters! You're OK with non-binary genders, right Nem?

Nem: Sure, I'm very open-minded.

Host Hosterson: Just HOW open-minded, Nem?

Nem: ... just introduce them you creepy disembodied voice of a jerk.

Smik 2017/02/13(Mon)18:32 No. 779360 ID: e136ae
File 148703953153.jpg - (142.98KB , 640x720 , BlindDate2.jpg )

He's an Oculot from a parallel dimension version of Enemy Quest and the leader of a galactic empire, and an expert at spinach puffs! Please welcome THE KERIKRONK!

Smik 2017/02/13(Mon)18:36 No. 779361 ID: e136ae
File 148703980411.jpg - (180.02KB , 640x720 , BlindDate3.jpg )

He's a MANLY MAN from an alternative post-apocalyptic nuclear-fall out earth and he kills rad scorpions with his bare hands! Please welcome KRAZE UGGOO!

Kraze: MANLY! Don't forget my excellent gums too! SO MANLY!

Host: ... yes Kraze. Manly gums.

Smik 2017/02/13(Mon)18:43 No. 779362 ID: e136ae
File 148704019671.jpg - (159.14KB , 640x720 , BlindDate4.jpg )

They're an unfathomable genderless deep-sea creature from beyond our understanding but an excellent conversationalist and not only can they regenerate but a great deal of their body is edible raw!

Zome: Really? You're gonna go with that?

Host: You really don't give me a whole lot of options without getting TMI.

Zome: I got a thic ass and luscious lips. You could start there.

Host: You also smell like fish.

Zome: I LIVE IN THE DEEP OCEAN! HOW ELSE WOULD I SMELL?!

Host: Zome is a really nice person though, just sensitive about certain things!

Zome: THICK ASS!

Host: OK fine, Zome's also got a thick ass and some luscious lips and is probably a fantastic kisser.

Zome: Now you talk'n right.


PLEASE WELCOME ZOME!

You now control ALL THE CONTESTANTS (one at a time) as they answer Nem's Questions. Try to hide your HIDDEN FLAWS as best you can, emphasize your POSITIVE TRAITS, and be careful if you try to lie -- the HOST has everyone's full profiles (character generation information) and WILL catch you on any misdirection.

However, anything Nem asks about that was NOT decided on during generation can be made up on the fly and be part of the character's canon.

May the best contestant win that date with Nem!

FIRST QUESTION TO: The KERRIKRONK! (in next update)

Smik 2017/02/13(Mon)18:53 No. 779364 ID: e136ae
File 148704082316.jpg - (122.02KB , 640x720 , BlindDate5.jpg )

Remember, Nem can't see ANYONE, and the KERIKRONK is IMPULSIVE, meaning he will choose his response at random from the suggestions!!


Nem: I'm a curious person with an open mind, so I have to ask -- what made you decide you wanted to date me?

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

>>779364
Too long have the vengeful spinachmongers held the gateway to large batches of puffy goodness.

I search high and low for a mate with dominion over death, so that I may exact leafy tribute from their fields!

"Sweet as honey, sharp as steel. I wanted a romance where death breathes over my shoulder and lovingly bites my neck."

Prepare to die, Kerikronk.

Well my darling I peered into the future with my Third eye and saw that you will be the greatest lover in this universe.

We gonna jam our nebulously extant dick in ya nasty goo clunge, gorl

Man i hope thats actully a dude, because if those are supposed to be tits im-
wait is this thing on? Shit, hello?

Smik 2017/02/13(Mon)20:10 No. 779391 ID: e136ae
File 148704545604.jpg - (148.31KB , 640x720 , BlindDate5b.jpg )

The Kerikronk: "Sweet as honey, sharp as steel. I wanted a romance where death breathes over my shoulder and lovingly bites my neck."

Nem: Oh... that's very interesting.

Smik 2017/02/13(Mon)20:23 No. 779406 ID: e136ae
File 148704622669.jpg - (162.05KB , 640x720 , BlindDate6.jpg )

Nem: Mr. Uggoo, I hear you can kill radscorpions with your bare hands, but how do you feel about the rest of nature? Like say, foxes?

As KRAZE, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

... Honestly, I think that list was ranked from best suggestion to worst in chronological order.

Let's try and go for most weird to least weird next!

"So Nem, where do you want to go on your date? I hear the licorice swamps are nice and fluffy this year. The German bratwurst bees just came in five dogs ago!"

In other words, START SUGGESTING!

>>779407
The ranking is meaningless, that was just the randomly selected suggestion because Kerikronk has the IMPULSIVE flaw. Throwing in such random suggestions will have no impact on KRAZE.

>>779406
Watashi wa- not such a great talker, desu.
I've spent a lot of time by myself, wandering, and it seems like everything on two, four, and eleven legs wants a piece of me.

But when things get quiet, like, in the undulating glow of a brown sunset. I like to take in the sounds, the gammaducks glurking overhead, or the howling of an mangy prarie wolf. Nature is sugoi, sometimes.

Fox pelts are valuable, so we're often at odds, desu. But I don't hate them for it, and I like to think they don't hate me...desu.

>>779406
Nature is good eating.

Which ones are foxes again? How many sets of legs and pincers are we talking here.

NOTHING IS SAFE!
I'LL CRUSH THEM ALL!

"Foxes? You mean those fuzzy UNMANLY things from the Old Books, or the glowy things with TEETH bigger than a child's BABY ARMS? Book drawings make for TERRIBLE HUNTING! The other can be a WILY and DANGEROUS FOE!

Smik 2017/02/14(Tue)09:26 No. 779511 ID: e136ae
File 148709318451.jpg - (168.46KB , 640x720 , BlindDate7.jpg )

To help bridge the gap of communications, the HOST hands KRAZE a picture of a fox as Nem understands them.

The fox is smiling. It reminds Kraze of a smaller, weaker, more colourful version his faithful canine companion that was killed in heated battle by super-mutants, refusing to leave his side when his other companions fled. Kraze wonders if perhaps foxes are the gay cousins of dogs.

Latent ADORKABLENESS takes over as he realizes it is the single cutest thing he has ever seen. He worries briefly that the gayness might be rubbing off on him, but then realizes that he probably just likes cute things -- this is just differently cute than his preferred cute things like ladies' breasts.

What does KRAZE say?

1. If you want to stick with a previous suggestion, use it now.
2. Kraze would avoid the fox for fear its intense cuteness would turn him gay.
3. Kraze would embrace the fox because he has discovered things that are differently cute from girls.
4. Kraze would embrace the fox but also has an uncomfortable desire to dress up like a fox now and lets this fact slide in his answer.

3. Also mention it reminds you of a dog you used to have.

4 all up in here with that furry nonsense!

Think I overdid it with the text, so yeah, 3.

3 is fine.

>>779512
i agree with this

Smik 2017/02/14(Tue)19:25 No. 779671 ID: e136ae
File 148712914679.jpg - (197.36KB , 640x720 , BlindDate7b.jpg )

Kraze is OVERWHELMED by LATENT ADORKABLENESS: I have to MANLY CRUSH much of nature but this UNMALY FOX... this UNMALY... F-fox... reminds me of d-Desu, my dog and most loyal companion. He was so furry and happy MANLY ... he was the only MANLY one to fight those super-mutants with me...

*sniff*

MY DESU! WHY MANLY GOD, WHY DID YOU TAKE MY MANLY DESU DOGGIE FROM MEEEEEEEEE!!?!

I WOULD HUG THE FOX!!


Nem: Oh Kraze, I'm so sorry for your loss! Animal companions have just as much worth as our civilized ones, don't let anyone tell you otherwise! I'm sure Desu watches over you as we speak!


Kraze: She understands me! Can you be my friend? My friend with tits?

Nem: Well... well I could just be your friend who's a girl.

Kraze: N-no, that would make you my girlfriend and that's not MANLY. If you are my friend with tits that is manly.

Nem pauses while she tries to decide how serious Kraze is.

Nem: OK, I can be your friend with tits, Kraze.

Kraze: Thank-you.

Smik 2017/02/14(Tue)19:58 No. 779680 ID: e136ae
File 148713109960.jpg - (146.89KB , 640x720 , BlindDate8.jpg )

ZOME'S HIDDEN TRAIT REVEALED: HYPER IMMUNITY (not affected by drugs or alcohol).

Nem: So Zome, I've been trying really, really hard not to be rude but I can't help myself and ask 'What are you?' Something that is neither male nor female nor faerie really peaks my curiosity! What is the one thing I really need to know about you? No offence meant.

ZOME understands Gaelish culture, so thinks about what elements might help them answer.

Zome knows that the Gaelish are generally pretty curious and that their rather complex set of genitals shouldn't be much of a turn-off. Zome also knows that they are a matriarchal society that does not condone abortion (or hide the facts of life) so being pregnant might not be an issue. Gaelish women usually like a man with a strong personal musk, so Zome's fishy smell might not be an issue, but the fact that it is a relatively alien musk might be.

Zome realizes that being slimey might be an issue, given that leg hair and all.

What should Zome say? (If you have better rhymes please use them)

1. Before we date, you should know my hits: I've got a complex vagina, boobs and 12 dicks!
2. Before we date, you should know I'm no slouch; I'm pregnant with babies in my back pouch!
3. I cannot lie to such a great dish -- I smell real strong and I smell like fish!
4. I'll be up front 'cause you're no rube -- people call me slimey but I call it lube!
5. ___________________ (it must rhyme)

>>779680
You should know my hits before we lunge and plunge; -- I have boobs, 12 dicks, and an esoteric goo clunge.

>>779690
would prefer the original 'nasty', but this is still solid gold.

Smik 2017/02/15(Wed)01:04 No. 779731 ID: e136ae
File 148714944690.jpg - (152.87KB , 640x720 , BlindDate8b.jpg )

>>779690
Zome: You should know my hits before we lunge and plunge; -- I have boobs, 12 dicks, and an esoteric goo clunge.

Nem: I haven't even ... wait...

Nem thinks for a moment.

Nem: Wait, how is that even physically possible?!

Zome: Only one way to find out baby, we need a 'hell yes' and not a 'maybe'.

Smik 2017/02/15(Wed)01:14 No. 779732 ID: e136ae
File 148715009676.jpg - (146.98KB , 640x720 , BlindDate9.jpg )

As you might have guessed, the winner of this game not only gets a date with Nem, but also will dictate the style in which the date will be illustrated.

Nem: OK Mr. Kerikronk, if you don't mind, could you tell me a little how your last date went? What was she like?

YOU ARE THE KERIKRONK: WHAT DO YOU SAY?
(Keep in mind that as an IMPULSIVE PERSON, one suggestion will be picked at random.)

Oh it went like TALLY @#$%ING HO she never insulted me, never chided my decisions, never commented on that strange Segway dogpile, she danced the night away without a single misstep, told me she thought I was special and worthy, etc.

Ultimately though, I felt overwhelmed at my sheer fortune of finding such a wonderful girl. There HAD to be a catch...

And then I found out she already had a boyfriend.

... Crazy right? After that I figured I might need to date women who are guaranteed to punish my mistakes, or I'll end up helping a cuckold and ruin some poor schmuck's life.

Of course, Mister Kerikronk has never had a date that was spoiled by the girl for the past two hundred years - because he kidnapped and dominated each and every one before the date started.

Look, I'm only gonna say this once. I thought the cop was an underaged prostitute.

*Opens beer*
Mistakes were made.

Unable to remember his last date thanks to excessive alcohol consumption, Kerikronk connects to the third eye network and hastely adlibs a response based on a lightning round of suggestions by the spirits.

>>779732
Just a comment but Kerikronk looks a lot like Bran-son (from shantae) if he was a kronk parody rather than a he-man one.

Smik 2017/02/15(Wed)11:36 No. 779777 ID: e136ae
File 148718741375.jpg - (195.37KB , 640x720 , BlindDate10.jpg )

Kerikronk: Look, I'm only gonna say this once. I thought the cop was an underaged prostitute.
Opens beer
Mistakes were made.

Nem says nothing.

Smik 2017/02/15(Wed)11:40 No. 779778 ID: e136ae
File 148718761112.jpg - (197.32KB , 640x720 , BlindDate11.jpg )

Nem: Tell me about your spirituality, Kraze. Focusing on survival alone eventually reduces one to a mere automaton -- what do you believe in, or if you don't have a faith, what is your dream?

AS KRAZE, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

>>779778
I BELIEVE IN THE GLORIOUS TASTE OF NUKACOLA QUANTUM! IT WILL LEAVE YOU GLOWING!

KRAZE BELIEVE IN? KRAZE HAVE DREAM IN?

KRAZE JUST TRY TO LIVE DAY TO DAY IN WASTELAND. KRAZE NEED TO BE STRONG TO SURVIVE EACH AND EVERY DAY.

...BUT WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF WHAT. WHY DO I KEEP GOING? IS MY GOAL SIMPLY TO LIVE? IS LIVING LIFE JUST TO LIVE IT ILLOGICAL, OR EVEN UNMANLY? I BELIEVE IN BEING MANLY, BUT TO WHAT END? CAN I REALLY JUST LIVE IN MOMENT FOREVER? WHAT EXACTLY IS REAL? WHAT IS MANLY? WHAT IS...

OH NO KRAZE IS HAVING EXISTENTIAL CRISIS DESU.

KRAZE WITNESSED ABYSSMAL VOID OF ORIGIN OF EVERY COSMOS. THEN KRAZE FOUND VOID WAS A LIE!

VOID IS EVERYTHING THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED, HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE! KRAZE FIND MONSTERS THAT COULD NOT EXIST, SO CRAZE MAKE THEM NOT EXIST ANYMORE! LESSER MINDS STALKING KRAZE WERE BROKEN IN SECONDS AND BECAME PUNY CULT PRIESTS! KRAZE RIP AND TEAR CULT PRIESTS! KRAZE MIND IS STRONG DEFENSE, NO NEED FOR PUNY WORM THOUGHTS WITH IRON BRAIN!

KRAZE SMASH AND TEAR VOID UNTIL VOID HAS NO HAPPENING ANYMORE, ANYWHERE!!!

Smik 2017/02/15(Wed)13:17 No. 779796 ID: e136ae
File 148719342717.jpg - (193.97KB , 640x720 , BlindDate12.jpg )

(Paraphrasing suggestions into one)

Kraze: I dream that if I drink enough MANLY NUKACOLA QUANTUM that I will become the Incredible Hulk, radioactive super-hero of the wastes! Then I'll MANLY say stuff like "KRAZE MANLY BELIEVE IN? KRAZE HAVE MANLY DREAM IN?" and "KRAZE SMASH AND MANLY TEAR VOID UNTIL VOID HAS NO HAPPENING ANYMORE, ANYWHERE!!! MANLY!" Radioactive super-heroes are not MANLY bound by chains of grammar!

Nem: ... oooooookay...

(I probably woulda picked >>779783, but this works too)

Smik 2017/02/15(Wed)14:07 No. 779805 ID: e136ae
File 148719646337.jpg - (148.12KB , 640x720 , BlindDate13.jpg )

Nem, her voice wavering somewhat: OK... sooo... Zome. I guess... I have the same question for you. I mean, spirituality and religion are important and if they're not resolved they can ruin a marriage... not that I'm saying we're getting married soon but I think it's something we find out sooner than later, right? I mean, I don't want to be impregnated with the physical god of Chaos or anything -- no offence, not that I'm saying that's something you're planning to do or that you even worship a god of Chaos or that you'd rape me during our first date, BUT I'd hate to have an awkward conversation down the road of "Honey, you're going to give birth to the god of Chaos". Heh... Also... also... also are we physically compatible? Like for children. I do want to have children some day. I mean it's not a deal breaker or anything, but I do kinda wanna know my options if you're as ... don't take this the wrong way please.... alien... to me as I suspect. I mean, if I'd have to give birth to something with ... well... a lot of extra appendages... then even if we're compatible I might want to look at adoption instead. So yeah, what's your religion or spirituality, and ... physical compatibility. Also now that I think about it, would I need to buy condoms in bulk? I think you'd be using up an entire box in one go, right?


ZOME understands Gaelish culture, so thinks about what elements might help them answer.

Religion:
The Gaelish have a complex religion in which the most powerful faeries are worshipped as physical gods, but these are gods whose positions cycle through different holders over time. The fae essentially elect new members to hold a particular god's position, and the actual worship involves action over prayer, with specific activities dictated by the current god. So the god of agriculture one year might request that people simple maintain small garden plots in their homes, but the replacement might request a celebration of the harvest instead and acts of fertility. The HOST does not know your own religious beliefs and cannot detect if you are lying, so you may want to hide the truth for now and select some beliefs that Nem will at least understand. The Gaelish favour gods of CREATION over DESTRUCTION, and in fact much of their religion forbids abortion, with a set of laws that can overcome possible health concerns and with unwanted children becoming State Adopted or Changelings (relinquished to faerie care). They also have a Matriarch society and culture, so if you want make up a god, make it a goddess. Gaelish culture incorporates the use soft narcotics similar to marijuana and magic mushrooms into their spiritual practices to obtain a 'dream state' as well as for inspiration and recreation, with various kinds of blends for specific purposes.

ZOME, like most Deep Ones, are distantly related to Cthlulu -- "Lucy" for short -- a great, resting DEEP ONE and a being much like a physical god who is actually too large to surface for very long and contrary to that racist bastard Lovecraft has no intention of taking over the world or spreading madness or other nonsense. For the most part, Lucy just watches humanity like humanity would watch "Game of Thrones" -- entertained by the wide cast of characters and wishing they'd stop killing their favourites. Eventually, it is said that if they kill off one too many of Lucy's favourites, they'll rise from the depths and perform "The Great Editing of the Script". Until that time, Lucy is pretty chill.

Which is fine, but doesn't really offer much in the way of spiritual guidance. Instead, you discovered **X**.

As far as being physically compatible, you are still an analog -- just a very diverse one -- and are compatible with Nem. The offspring of such a union would result in what is known as a "capricorn" and might have a few extra genitals but probably not as many as you have, but usually capricorns have a reputation of being very lovely in both Gaelish and your own culture.


TLDR Version:
- You can make up a religion for Zome and be truthful, make up a fake religion that will sound good, or say you follow Lucy who is basically the god of zen-like slackering.
- You are physically compatible.

Oh, and don't forget you gotta rhyme this. GOOD LUCK!

My truth is Lucy. Who is rather loosey-goosey.
To entertain her chortles. They like to watch the mortals.
You need not worry when we enter the flurry. I can make almost anything cum in hurry.
You need not despair. For our children will be fair.

Far below the waves, dread Lucy slumbers tight
Jonesing til the day when the stars align aright
to It's tendrilled ministrations, my libido is forsworn
(And probably the minds of 1d4 investigators a turn)

So let's relax, take in a show, hold hands and share a root beer
Then I'll lay you down and watch my fishy seed take root, dear
There's no brakes upon the Zometrain, no boundries I won't cross
As I baste your fertile myrtle with some eldritch tartar sauce

>>779817
But when the deed is said and done, the fluids now expended,
The wisdom of the deep holds the results shall be resplendent
Not quite they fullblown goddesses, nor mortals small and juicy
our Capricorns we'll cultivate, for the Script Edits of Lucy

Smik 2017/02/15(Wed)20:35 No. 779948 ID: e136ae
File 148721974878.jpg - (149.03KB , 640x720 , BlindDate13b.jpg )

Zome:
Far below the waves, dread Lucy slumbers tight
Jonesing til the day when the stars align aright
to It's tendrilled ministrations, my libido is forsworn
(And probably the minds of 1d4 investigators a turn)

So let's relax, take in a show, hold hands and share a root beer
Then I'll lay you down and watch my fishy seed take root, dear
There's no brakes upon the Zometrain, no boundries I won't cross
As I baste your fertile myrtle with some eldritch tartar sauce

But when the deed is said and done, the fluids now expended,
The wisdom of the deep holds the results shall be resplendent
Not quite they fullblown goddesses, nor mortals small and juicy
our Capricorns we'll cultivate, for the Script Edits of Lucy

*FINGERGUN!*


Nem is stunned. She is quiet for several moments.

Nem: Did you just do a fingergun at the end?

Zome: *FINGERGUN!*

Nem: That's what I thought. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if I'm shocked at the implications or impressed by your improv rhyming skills.

>>779948
Don't be loath to be both.

You think you know what's going on in a thread, then you end up as the one writing multiple stanzas of filthy Deep One poetry.

tgchan is a hell of a drug, kids.

Smik 2017/02/16(Thu)00:23 No. 779992 ID: e136ae
File 148723341780.jpg - (184.13KB , 640x720 , BlindDate14.jpg )

Nem sighs.

Nem: Oooookay.... Kerikronk. Ahh.. hmmm... y'know what? How about I answer a question of yours. Because I have to do a little more thinking after your last answer. Is there anything about me you're curious about?


YOU ARE THE KERIKRONK. ASK A QUESTION.

>>779992
"You ever wonder what would happen if pinky and the brain entirely switched personalities but not intellects?"

What's your favorite way to kill a man?

You want a brewski?

Whats your favorite kind of music?

>>779992
Do you ever wonder why we restrain ourselves with social norms when life is so fleeting?

Smik 2017/02/16(Thu)12:10 No. 780064 ID: e136ae
File 148727585351.jpg - (198.01KB , 640x720 , BlindDate15.jpg )

>>779995
Random roll 2:
Kerikronk: What's your favorite way to kill a man?

There is a long pause.

The lights flicker and the air in the studio takes on a distinct chill.

Nem: I am Nemain Morrigan, the Black Wolf and Harbinger of Death. To your question, a question: How badly do you want to know?

The Kerikronk is stunned into silence.

Zome: You bitches might find the chill distress'n but I'm feel'n that it's kinda refresh'n!

The air regains its previous warmth.

Nem: You just don't stop, do you Zome?

Wow that's three 2's in a row.

Smik 2017/02/16(Thu)12:41 No. 780067 ID: e136ae
File 148727767880.jpg - (152.68KB , 640x720 , BlindDate16.jpg )

Nem: Kraze, please don't think I'm snubbing you but since Zome's so eager to talk I'm going to give them the chance.

Zome: Groovy Baby, call me maybe.

Nem pauses but you can't see her reaction.

Author Note: Zome now officially sounds like Cee Lo Green

Nem: It's your turn to ask me a question. What do you want to know most about me?


ZOME understands Gaelish culture, so thinks about what elements might make good (and bad) questions. Your questions will be replied with relevant notes so questions Zome wouldn't ask (because they're offensive or useless) will be excluded from the possible suggestions Zome would ask.

You don't have to rhyme your questions yet.

>>780065
Random.org also hates Kerikronk.

>>780068
On that note, Random.org also loves to pack Zome with as much genitalia as possible.

It paints the shapes in the clouds above.
A passion you could scream.
Tell me just what is it that you love.
What is your mortal dream?

To please me as my concubine
comes with so many perks
so why, upon the voorish sign
won't you just ditch these jerks?

>>780076

Gaelish culture places deep significance on dreams; this is a good question.

>>780150
Your knowledge of Gaelish culture provides no guidance for this question.

Smik 2017/02/17(Fri)00:09 No. 780218 ID: e136ae
File 148731897215.jpg - (96.55KB , 640x720 , NemCantRememberDream.jpg )

Zome:
It paints the shapes in the clouds above.
A passion you could scream.
Tell me just what is it that you love.
What is your mortal dream?

Nem: Oh, that's a good question. My dream is... is...

She pauses.

Nem: ... oh dear. You know, it's been so long since anyone asked what my dream is I don't think I know anymore. When I was a little girl, we were expected to dream of finding a nice husband and settling down to have a family. That wasn't my dream. Then I became the avatar of death to repay an old family debt, but that wasn't my dream either, that was me doing what had to be done and not letting our family run away from a promise. I used to dabble in science but I haven't done it in ages, it's all been about what HAD to be done. I mean, I'm not even sure how long my past will be my past because everything's changing.

She pauses again, a little longer this time. Her voice is quieter and unsure.

Nem: I want my friends and family safe. I want people to be happy. But not much of that is in my hands, and in my culture that makes it my prayer, not my dream. Those without dreams are said to be truly lost.

More silence; she's thinking.

Nem: My dream is to make my own path through this world. I want to open the forbidden boxes, explore the monster's cave, and go into the places people have been so frightened of for so long they can't even remember why they're scared, and expose their secrets so they're not scary any longer. I want to change things.

Nem takes an audible breath and when she speaks again her voice is her usual chipper self.

Nem: Does that help?

Smik 2017/02/17(Fri)00:13 No. 780219 ID: e136ae
File 148731920660.jpg - (159.80KB , 640x720 , BlindDate17.jpg )

A response here is OPTIONAL but may have MEANING; Nem will address KRAZE next.

>>780219
O Nem if you desire change, then let me be your guide.
As old ones know the dark we sow, deep secrets we provide.

Choose me as your lucky date, and I can show you all;
That we might share it further still, let feared become banal.

Smik 2017/02/17(Fri)15:52 No. 780380 ID: e136ae
File 148737557510.jpg - (193.01KB , 640x720 , BlindDate18.jpg )

If Zome's response had any special impact on Nem, she doesn't let on.

Nem: OK Kraze, it's your turn. Surely you have some questions about me.

WHAT DO YOU ASK?

been waiting on this one

I have been.. listening. To the unMANLY seacreature, to you, not so much the Eyeguy, I'm not sure what he's on about. So here is my MANLY query:

I HAVE to make my own MANLY path, since no one else will do it for me. Safety and Happiness are as important as they are rare, and it mostly boils down to keeping the weak people safe and CRUSHING THE LIFE out of the bad ones. And unlike you, it is often only in my hands. My huge MANLY hands. Ungh.

MANLY, I mean, MANY times, I'm forced to look death in the eye and stay my course.
I mean, not YOU, that really wouldn't be so bad, but the concept of death, the other Death.
KRAZE blushes a little, Adorkably, as he tries to continue
You have really nice eyes...

RAAAGH. It is not a plush path. Sometimes, I have to choose between more shotgun shells, Guzzoline, or protein powder. Sometimes there is no choice at all. It is harsh, MANLY existence that made me who I am today. And probably tomorrow.

Would you ever be satisfied with such a life? With the right companion, would you ever choose to live it?

Smik 2017/02/17(Fri)23:36 No. 780617 ID: e136ae
File 148740341543.jpg - (194.53KB , 640x720 , BlindDate19.jpg )

>>780395
Kraze: I have been.. listening. To the unMANLY seacreature, to you, not so much the Eyeguy, I'm not sure what he's on about. So here is my MANLY query:

I HAVE to make my own MANLY path, since no one else will do it for me. Safety and Happiness are as important as they are rare, and it mostly boils down to keeping the weak people safe and CRUSHING THE LIFE out of the bad ones. And unlike you, it is often only in my hands. My huge MANLY hands. Ungh.

MANLY, I mean, MANY times, I'm forced to look death in the eye and stay my course.
I mean, not YOU, that really wouldn't be so bad, but the concept of death, the other Death.
KRAZE blushes a little, Adorkably, as he tries to continue
You have really nice eyes...

RAAAGH. It is not a plush path. Sometimes, I have to choose between more shotgun shells, Guzzoline, or protein powder. Sometimes there is no choice at all. It is harsh, MANLY existence that made me who I am today. And probably tomorrow.

Would you ever be satisfied with such a life? With the right companion, would you ever choose to live it?

Nem sighs.

Nem: No, I'm sorry Kraze, I will not travel with you in the wastes. I have my own path, and it needs me here. I'm sorry if this means we are at an impassé but I would have to have you journey with me in my world. I have a lot of work to do here before I could ever think of leaving it. I have a debt to pay.


DOES KRAZE HAVE A REPLY?

If you have a quest for debt, then Kraze will gladly take on quest!

Kraze will SMASH your debt! Then Kraze will SMASH your debtors! Then Kraze will SMASH the people in your debt!

Wasteland justice is kill everyone related to the crime until only the people you like are still standing.

Are there dark places and terrible things in your world?
WE COULD SMASH THEM TOGETHER!

Sure, that sounds more fun, anyway.

Kraze loves sidequests! They are the only hint of variety he gets in his harsh MANLY existence. And a sidequest in a different dimension entirely? Why, that might even be the rare and coveted Dee Ell See.

Smik 2017/02/18(Sat)16:35 No. 780898 ID: e136ae
File 148746453441.jpg - (199.91KB , 640x720 , BlindDate20.jpg )

Nem: Well if you're willing to travel my path with me then maybe that's something!

Smik 2017/02/18(Sat)16:39 No. 780901 ID: e136ae
File 148746478189.jpg - (191.77KB , 640x720 , BlindDate21.jpg )

Nem: All right Kerikronk, do you have ANYTHING to say to save your chances for a date? Because I'm going to be totally honest, you sound like a creep put on this show as a joke.

THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE KERIKRONK! (Actually not, the Host enjoys your failures but if you screw up here, Nem will stop talking to you and you'll just be getting a chance to say something to get her attention)

I will mind control you into submission!

Ok look I know the child prostitute thing sounded bad, but for what it's worth I just wanted to use my mind control powers to use her as a suicide bomber against a group of people who dont agree with me politically. Nothing wierd.

Hey, If I seem like a creep, that's only due to your lack of dating history.*

The sea queen just wants you as breeding stock, and that barbarian just wants a free ride. I'm the best chance for a normal romance you've got*, sweetie.

*=filthy lies

>>780901
Spirits control everything I and the other contestants say.

Smik 2017/02/18(Sat)18:20 No. 780952 ID: e136ae
File 148747082730.jpg - (120.75KB , 640x720 , BlindDate22.jpg )

>>780912
The Kerikronk: Spirits control everything I and the other contestants say!!

Several moments pass.

Nem: ... what?

>>780952
It's randomly chosen for Kerikronk, less so for others, and specific spirits have been trying to make Kerikronk say weird stuff because they think it's funny.

Smik 2017/02/18(Sat)18:28 No. 780958 ID: e136ae
File 148747132407.jpg - (122.63KB , 640x720 , BlindDate23.jpg )

Nem: ... wait, stop, HOLD ON. There's no way anyone but ME (and well, maybe Sami and Rekki) knows about 'the spirits' or would even use that term. Like as far as I know, in other worlds it's 'the orb of infinite psyche' or 'the voices'.

Are you saying that... the SPIRITS are trying to get a date with me? And they're trying to pick a form I'd like?

...

... also is Zome actually KOME? The name is similar but there's no way Kome is that smooth. Or talks in rhyme. I know.

** PLEASE INDICATE A CONTESTANT AND SUGGEST A RESPONSE -- note that each contestant is still bound by their personality quirks. **

>>780958
All three : We are legion. We control all. Date us please?

>>780959
Suggestion Denied.
Reason: Zome must speak in rhyme.

Kraze: We were all feeling nervous, so we split a bottle of schnapps in the green room.

All three :
We see you rate some high, and rate some low;
so we feel you should know, Kome is not MANLY Zome.
So with these MANLY words, we hope to get towards, a little bit of your Gaelic pores.
While we are so MANLY. When we see you form we get oh so RANDY.
We wish to take you as a mate, so won't you please take us on a MANLY date?

@#$% NO. Look, I scouted her, but she didn't have an English name so I made one up for her and for some reason she decided to use my name instead. I have NOT influenced ANY of her decisions or rhymes since the show started (seriously wtf when did she gain that quirk?) but I did try to make Kerikronk look like a douche because, well, he is one. The others made him look like a rapist instead, which also works. I also gave Kraze some madness suggestions but he mostly ignored those.

Zome:
THE FOURTH WALL HAS BEEN BROKEN!
TIME WILL NOT ELAPSE!
THE SECRET'S BEEN SPOKEN!
THE VEIL WILL COLLAPSE!

Kerikronk: A cosmic revelation of this scale would surely shake the very theological pillars of this world.

opens another beer
That happened the last time I tried to fuck a goat, too...

Zome:
Addleheaded and dull,
His mind must be fraught
by madness in his skull
or a brain begun to rot.
Or perhaps he means to lull
into a nefarious plot.
(or if nothing else, into a cozy cot)

>Are you saying that... the SPIRITS are trying to get a date with me? And they're trying to pick a form I'd like?
No, we're just trying to help these doofs by offering them advice.

Smik 2017/02/19(Sun)11:33 No. 781203 ID: e136ae
File 148753283755.jpg - (136.01KB , 640x720 , BlindDate24.jpg )

>>780992
You are not connected to Nem.
>>781174
You are not connected to Nem.

KERIKRONK:
We see you rate some high, and rate some low;
so we feel you should know, Kome is not MANLY Zome.
So with these MANLY words, we hope to get towards, a little bit of your Gaelic pores.
While we are so MANLY. When we see you form we get oh so RANDY.
We wish to take you as a mate, so won't you please take us on a MANLY date?


Nem: Oh my goodness.

Nem is quiet in thought for a few moments.

Nem: Well that explains you all right. Although I'm not sure why in the world you would go with some of those suggestions! What's going on here?! If you wanted a date, why would you take THESE FORMS of all things?! Why is does Kraze sound like a man with the mind of a child?! Why does Zome speak in rhyme? Why the HELL would you say those things to me before?! Didn't you see my secret porn stash, why wouldn't you take a form I'd actually like?! If you wanted to date why didn't you speak up earlier or at least flirt a little? Why is Kraze from some post-disaster human world?! Why does Zome have so many oh wait maybe you did read my porn stash.

Smik 2017/02/19(Sun)12:01 No. 781209 ID: e136ae
File 148753450281.jpg - (300.27KB , 640x720 , WhatNow.jpg )

The HOST speaks privately to you.

Well, the Kerikronk's IMPULSIVENESS has let the cat out of the bag. There's no way you can convince Nem that he's NOT a pawn of Quest.

The problem here is that he's already implicated both Kraze and Kome as quest-controlled pawns as well. Nem is a smart girl; this will always be in the back of her head the entire time and doubtless she's learned a few new tricks since you've been separated from her so she might know more than you expect during the date.

So the trick here is that we have to tell her enough truth to convince her of the plausibility of whatever you want to lie about.

Nem explained she wasn't interested in dating a skut due to their being a multi-bodied hive mind, but she sort of knows you and that might get you a pass.

So we have the following options for a plan of action, but feel free to suggest one of your own:

1. A collective from TGChan does in fact want to date Nem.

Explain that in order to date her, you had to go through us for a physical form. You submitted a selection which we then modified and the three are the final result. You'll have to answer her questions and hopefully she won't walk out after she hears your answers. We have a back-up plan if Nem leaves, and the Host will provide answers for areas you have no information for.

2. TGChan is acting as wingmen for our contestants.

We'll explain that each contestant has a separate personality and you are acting as guides, and we will reveal their personal quirks that explains some of their answers, such as Kerikronk always impulsively and randomly going with a suggestion. This may affect your date since Nem will know you're playing wingman but we don't think she'll walk out.

A back-up plan? With no details given as to what it is? Well, I suppose the only way we'll find out is to try:

1.

>>781209
(My bad, Kraze & Zome, I knew I was gonna screw up that name eventually)

>>781210
We have two actually, but they both weigh heavily on how Nem reacts to your answers. And we don't want to influence your decisions any more than we have to, so you don't get to know the back-up plans.

>>781213
Not a problem, that's why I'm voting 1. So we get to find out what at least one of the backup plans is.

1, but only if we get to explain we had to abide by the quirks- we didn't have complete control of the process.

If we can't tell her this then 2.

>You are not connected to Nem.
Yes, but if Kronk had random rolled to parrot the message, we would have functionally communicated with her. His quirk makes direct communication possible, if unreliable.

>>781209
2, please. It's fun to set characters up with each other. It's way too meta and kinda creepy having the collective directly involved for it's own sake.

2. It is actually mostly true, these duderinos are not ENTIRELY under our control, and Nem is familiar with the idea of having a collective of crazy spirits whispering in your ear. Other two, throw Kerikronk under the bus.

>>781221
Kerikronk can't randomly roll the message unless you direct the suggestion to him specifically.

2

We don't have complete control over these morons. Just 24-hour surveillance.

Smik 2017/02/19(Sun)17:09 No. 781274 ID: e136ae
File 148755297836.jpg - (102.96KB , 640x720 , BlindDate25.jpg )

SELECTED OPTION: 2. TGChan is acting as wingmen for our contestants.

THE HOST: Actually Nem, the spirits are just acting in an advisory capacity for the contestants. They each have their own quirks, and one of Kerikronk's is that he is impulsive and tends to pick advice at random.

Nem: Yeah? Well it's pretty creepy that someone suggested he combine the other two almost perfectly, with Kraze's "MANLY" verbal tick and Zome's rhyme speak.

THE HOST: Those are their quirks.

Nem: What was the spirit trying to do, suggest to all three at once?

THE HOST: Yes, actually.

Nem: So why did only Kerikronk say it?

THE HOST: He's the most susceptible.

Nem: I still have MANY MORE QUESTIONS.

THE HOST: Very well, we'll give you a temporary direction connection.


Nem: Good. OK you lot:
Why did you DO that to Kerikronk? Why do you hate him so much?
Did you lie to me? Why would you lie to me?!

THE HOST: They were forbidden from knowingly lying.
Nem: So the Kerikronk...
THE HOST: It was not so much lying as much as ... well, they don't actually KNOW... actually I should probably let the spirits answer that one as well, but nobody was knowingly lying. They might have been influenced to...
Nem: Sound like Kome?
THE HOST: If you'd like.

Nem: WHY are you helping them? Why aren't you helping me instead?
THE HOST: We never gave them the option to help you.

Nem: What are you telling the contestants? Are you guys trying to wreck things for them to? To be honest none of you are doing a very good job of catering any of them to me. Like Kraze... I don't want to be mean but he seems like a bit of an idiot and Zome is kinda creepy with all those leering rhymes.
Don't you know me by now? You were with me on my first adventure!
How much of what they've said is them being weird and YOU being weird? I mean, you've always been weird but they're from another world entirely so I don't know where they stop and you start.
If I go out on a date with one of these ... I'm going to be honest again, these creepy weirdos, can you promise me you'll at least try to make it FUN for me? I'm trusting you guys not to pull any tricks.

** Nem must have at least 6 of her questions answered to continue. The answers are cumulative; don't feel you need to answer them all in one go. **

These are different people, with their own histories, motivations, and feelings. Just like with you, we can offer them advice, but we can't change who they are, even if it would make you like them more. And even if we could, would you really want us to?

Since we voted 2, it changes nothing. This is a dating contest between 3 contestants, with various ups and downs.

>To be honest none of you are doing a very good job of catering any of them to me.
These are the 3 that answered the contest. They have their own lives, and their own interests. Not their fault you're not asking the right questions.

>Don't you know me by now?
NOT ANYMORE.

... I mean, you've been travelling with Rekki for a year, and for us it's been over two years. You changed so much in less than a week, we wanted to figure out just how much you changed in over fifty weeks.

>What are you telling the contestants
Everything they've said since the start of this show. Some of us are helping and cheering, some of us are hurting and jeer...ks. Remember, we're a collective, not a legion, so sometimes we fight each other over motives, hence the chaos and insanity.

>Are you guys trying to wreck things for them to?
Yep. Personally, I wanted to screw over Kerikronk, but generally I gave Kraze and Zome a chance for the spotlight. Kraze by adding barbarian philosophy, Zome by staying quiet.

>How much of what they've said is them being weird and YOU being weird?
I'd say 75% is our weirdness. They were still the ones acting it out, though, and Kraze / Zome cut apart our lines and stitched them together for extra romance. Kind of what I'd expect from a Deep Noble, actually...

>If I go out on a date with one of these ... I'm going to be honest again, these creepy weirdos, can you promise me you'll at least try to make it FUN for me?
Of course we will. Our modus operandi for even talking to you and the other clients is getting a laugh and adventure out of this stuff. Just don't expect us to be dignified about it...

... Wait, that's like only 5 questions. The Host isn't going to let us proceed until you give us one more to answer.

>can you promise me you'll at least try to make it FUN for me?
Yes, but I'm sure you know how reliable our definition of fun is.

>Why did you DO that to Kerikronk? Why do you hate him so much?
He reminds a bunch of people of someone else they actually hate and they thought it was funny to try and set him up to fail.

>How much of what they've said is them being weird and YOU being weird?
Fifty-fifty. Kerikronk literally has no mental filter, Kraze is obsessed with masculinity, and Zome only speaks in rhyme. People ran with it.

>>781277

Nem: That doesn't really answer the question of how much the weirdness is YOU and how much it's THEM. Like does Kraze really like foxes or did you TELL him to say he likes foxes? And is Zome seriously just trying to get into my pants or are you pulling the same kinda crap you did on Kerikronk? WHERE IS THE LINE DRAWN?

>>781279
>Not their fault you're not asking the right questions.

Nem: No, it means I've been asking some VERY good questions and I'm not happy with the selection I Have.


Nem: So I guess this means you're not influencing them very much and what I'm hearing is what I'd actually be getting.

Nem makes a face similar to the one a child might biting into a raw orange peel.

Nem: You know I do have the option of just walking. Unless you know something really nice about these three that could change my mind.

You have answered *2* of Nem's Questions:
"Are you guys trying to wreck things for them too" (Nem is thinking you're not... except for Kerikronk)
"How much of what they've said is them being weird and YOU being weird?" (Nem is thinking it's them, except for Kerikronk)

4 more questions need answers.

>Like does Kraze really like foxes or did you TELL him to say he likes foxes?
We told him to, because he did.
>And is Zome seriously just trying to get into my pants or are you pulling the same kinda crap you did on Kerikronk?
Zome is seriously trying to get in your pants. We can't channel thoughts that aren't already there.

WHERE IS THE LINE DRAWN?
On Smik's tablet/PC , I believe.

>Why did you DO that to Kerikronk? Why do you hate him so much?
Because he's a cartoonish imitation of mass murdering, mind raping monster. That's the multiverse for you. Not only are there absolutely horrific people out there, but there are weird knockoffs of them.

>WHY are you helping them? Why aren't you helping me instead?
For the most part, we have little say in who we help. Our travels are subject to the whims of fate and capricious gods. And we're really not effective enough liars to reliably sabotage someone, even if we're stuck with someone reprehensible. Sometimes the best we can do is simply to refuse to offer aid until we're allowed to move on.

I mean, if you think advising weirdos on a dating show is an awkward betrayal imagine when we've hopped between opposite sides in conflicts!

>What are you telling the contestants? Are you guys trying to wreck things for them to?
I don't... think so? You remember how we would offer you both serious and pretty silly advice at times, and you'd have to choose? Well, nothing very serious is on the line for any of these three right now, and that effects our advice, and how seriously they weigh it.

>How much of what they've said is them being weird and YOU being weird?
I honestly can't tell anymore. We're pretty weird, to be honest, but the selection process to find contestants for this show was too. I think the basic premise is that it's funnier for the audience when the potential dates are weird.

Pretty sure they'll all honestly interested in trying to get a date, at least. We didn't force them to show up.

>Don't you know me by now? You were with me on my first adventure!
To be fair, you've grown up a fair bit since then. You're not the naive girl we first met. Could you imagine how you would have handled things, back then, if instead of encountering the wolf, you'd somehow ended up in this situation? You've grown.

Can't really say I'm surprised by this reaction though. This is a betrayal of trust, and one I would have preferred to avoid.

>Like does Kraze really like foxes or did you TELL him to say he likes foxes?

Uh... We don't actually know. Sorta? Maybe?
Were kinda working with a god here. So like... we think he liked foxes before hand but now he might.. like them more?

>NOT ANYMORE.
>... I mean, you've been travelling with Rekki for a year, and for us it's been over two years. You changed so much in less than a week, we wanted to figure out just how much you changed in over fifty weeks.


Nem: Aw Kome, that was so lucid that if I didn't know better I'd think I was dealing with an imposter. But you DID figure out my identity issue.

>To be fair, you've grown up a fair bit since then. You're not the naive girl we first met. Could you imagine how you would have handled things, back then, if instead of encountering the wolf, you'd somehow ended up in this situation? You've grown.
>Can't really say I'm surprised by this reaction though. This is a betrayal of trust, and one I would have preferred to avoid.


Nem: OK, fair enough. I forgive you, if that's what you're looking for.

>Everything they've said since the start of this show. Some of us are helping and cheering, some of us are hurting and jeer...ks. Remember, we're a collective, not a legion, so sometimes we fight each other over motives, hence the chaos and insanity.
>I don't... think so? You remember how we would offer you both serious and pretty silly advice at times, and you'd have to choose? Well, nothing very serious is on the line for any of these three right now, and that effects our advice, and how seriously they weigh it.


Nem: Yeah, I remember that, too. Guess I'm gonna have to take everything you guys tell me with a grain of salt as usual.

>Yep. Personally, I wanted to screw over Kerikronk, but generally I gave Kraze and Zome a chance for the spotlight. Kraze by adding barbarian philosophy, Zome by staying quiet
>Because he's a cartoonish imitation of mass murdering, mind raping monster. That's the multiverse for you. Not only are there absolutely horrific people out there, but there are weird knockoffs of them.


Nem: Well, the cartoonish imitation seemed to be mostly concerned about spinach puffs and beer until you started making him say dumb stuff. Are you sure he's the same person? It's not really fair to him if he's not. I almost want to pick him out of spite, but I know you'd just ruin it for me if I did.

>I'd say 75% is our weirdness. They were still the ones acting it out, though, and Kraze / Zome cut apart our lines and stitched them together for extra romance. Kind of what I'd expect from a Deep Noble, actually...

Nem: Sounds about right.

>On Smik's tablet/PC , I believe.
THE HOST: I THOUGHT YOU CHOSE OPTION 2 TO AVOID GETTING META.


You have answered enough questions that Nem has calmed down and will not walk off the show. Congratulations! Unfortunately, Nem still hasn't decided on who she'd like to date yet but because enough of Quest is against Kerikronk, she will need to decide between the two remaining contestants.

Because she knows of your presence, if you have any advice to the choice you can offer it now -- but there's no telling which way your advice will sway her.

Go with Zome, personally, making suggestions think of rhymes is fun.

Kraze seems dumb, butt any lone survivor of the wastes would undoubtedly need to be rather intelligent to survive.

We cannot stop Zome from rhyming. Maybe you can?

>>781307
Personally I think Zome fits what you are looking for most. I mean just think about all those long spindly tentacles... delicious.
Also a side note we tried to get H-I-N onto the show but some annoying Host man said that would be to easy.

What was the point of the gameshow format, if we're just gonna pick a winner?

Based on what we've seen so far:
Kraze is Chaotic Good, Zome is Neutral Evil.

>>781335
Things went off the rails when someone told Nem what was up.

Smik 2017/02/20(Mon)00:17 No. 781377 ID: e136ae
File 148757867784.jpg - (102.89KB , 640x720 , BlindDate26.jpg )

>>781335
>What was the point of the gameshow format, if we're just gonna pick a winner?


Nem: To be perfectly honest, I'm not terribly thrilled with the idea of choosing between Kraze and Zome. I've never really been into the classic Gaelish masculine ideal -- big, strong, musky and rough cut. Not that those are bad qualities, it's not like I object to them. But I want something different. Maybe not Kraze different, and I certainly wasn't thinking Zome different, but different.

And it's not like YOU are deciding anything, I just wanted to hear your opinions since you're actually inside their heads.

>>781314
>Go with Zome, personally, making suggestions think of rhymes is fun.

Nem: Fun for you, but that's not a lot of fun for me.

>>781326
>Kraze seems dumb, butt any lone survivor of the wastes would undoubtedly need to be rather intelligent to survive.


Nem: Kraze reminds me of Macha, except without any of her style. Macha liked to keep me guessing, she liked to play games, she wanted me to figure it all out. Of course, she was a possible future version of me, but still. She was a tough survival type too, but there was more to her than that. Don't get me wrong, I like Kraze's hidden sentimental side but he's just so extreme about it. I think he'd be exhausting on a date.

>>781330
>Personally I think Zome fits what you are looking for most. I mean just think about all those long spindly tentacles... delicious.


Nem: It's one thing to fantasize about tentacles and it's another thing to have to face it in real life. Also you creep me out when you say 'delicious' in that way. Zome is just constantly flirting and it gets on my nerves, but then they asked that question about my dreams and that really threw me because it was surprisingly insightful and actually thought-provoking.

>>781352
>Things went off the rails when someone told Nem what was up.


Nem: It's true, this is a lot weirder now. But... I tend to attract a lot of the wrong sort of people. I am an avatar of death and change, and those things scare people. That's why I was really put off by Kerikronk's whole "I want to make out with Death" line. I get a LOT of those types and none of them are really interested in the Avatar, just the danger she represents.

Nem thinks awhile.

Nem: I really considered just bailing on the whole thing, but you've convinced me to at least stick out a date, and what it really boils down to is the fact that I need someone to tickle my mind more than anything else and Kraze doesn't do that. He's not a bad guy but ... let's face it, there's not a whole lot of substance to him. I think most of our dating conversation will be "KRAZE MANLY SMASH!" or "OOOO PUPPY-MANLY-WUPPY!" "What do you think of this music?" "IT MANLY MAKES ME WANT TO SMASH EVIL" "What do you think of this dress?" "IT IS NOT MANLY BUT IS PRETTY ON YOU". It's not my idea of a fun time.

Honestly, I WOULD have been interested in the Kerikronk if you weren't so dead set on ruining him so basically I guess I have to pick Zome. It's not like Zome would be my first pick but the other two options would be disaster and predictability.

** NEM HAS CHOSEN: ZOME **


Nem winces: Heaven help me, but yes. But I hope nobody minds a double date.

THE HOST: Double date?


Nem: I'm bringing Sami & Amy along with me.

THE HOST: ... wait... in canon you haven't even...


Nem: In canon I don't even run into humans or oculots or ... Zomes. If you wanted to keep things nice and canon, why did you even ALLOW aliens?

THE HOST: Point taken. Very well, it's a double-date.


Nem: They're going to be armed.

THE HOST: Point taken again, Nem. We understand.

>I'm bringing Sami & Amy along with me.
>They're going to be armed.
Now you're thinking with suggestions! Good for you!

... But seriously though the detail overload might cause major lag on our end do you mind if we only concentrate on one couple at a time plz?

DATE PREPARATION START! Smik 2017/02/20(Mon)01:06 No. 781385 ID: e136ae
File 148758157165.jpg - (350.37KB , 640x720 , BlindDate27.jpg )

Congratulations! YOU have made it to the MAIN EVENT: THE BLIND DATE ITSELF!

ADDITIONAL CONGRATULATIONS: YOU ALMOST BROKE THE WHOLE QUEST! Thankfully you were able to talk Nem into playing along.

But now she's bringing back-up. Normally THE DATING GAME wouldn't allow this sort of thing but thanks to the whole revelation that her old friends are now messing with her dating life we feel she's earned the right to make some special requests.

Now you need to decide WHERE you will take Nem on the date, HOW you will dress, WHAT gift you are going to bring, and WHICH STYLE the quest will be drawn in!

Normally the quest would have continued in Zome-style art but since things have gone so far off the rails you'll get your choice.

PLEASE SELECT A LOCATION (No customs, Nem won't allow it now)

1. CASUAL DINNER and DANCING at the local NORTH GAELISH SODA SHOP & HOP.
2. ELEGANT LOCAL DINNER and a visit to the GAELEND-ROLLISH PUBLIC DIG MUSEM.
3. SEA-SIDE DINNER in LITTLE SHINATO and attend a SHINATESE CLASSIC THEATRE.
4. CASUAL MERICUDIAN DINNER in the North Gaelend Mericudian refugee village, followed by a FIREWORKS WORKSHOP and SHOW.

PLEASE SELECT A STYLE OF DRESS

1. Business Casual
2. Nightclub Trendy
3. Classic Elegant
4. Casual (only available if Casual locations are chosen)

PLEASE SELECT A GIFT -- this is the only choice that allows a custom answer.

1. Wild Flowers
2. Undersea bouquet (Basically it's a small, self-contained aquarium)
3. A Dozen Roses
4. Milk Chocolates
5. A Bottle of Local Gaelish Mushroom Wine
6. A Bottle of Local Rollish Single Malt Grain Whiskey
7. A Bottle of Imported Shintanese Grape Wine
8. A Bottle of Imported Mericudian Wine or Whiskey
9. Dreamtime Mountain Leaf
10. Jewellry recovered from a Shipwreck
11. _________

WHAT STYLE SHALL THE DATE BE DONE IN?
1. Kerikronk NEW GROOVE Style (the angular style)
2. Kraze JOHN K DIRTY Style (pointy nipples and exaggerated expression ahoy)
3. Zome CURVEY CLASSIC Style (Curvy, as close to "Tex Avery's Red Hot Riding Hood" as I can do)
4. Whatever flavour my normal style comes in this time. (I'm very inconsistent)

>>781382
THE DATING SHOW will not allow you to have any ability to influence Sami or Amy, and you will not be able to contact Nem any longer during the date. Your only controllable character will be ZOME, and ZOME'S PERSONALITY will be formulated based on the events of the Dating Game.

>>781385

Do it in Zome.

>>781385
We'll have to be careful.
4 4 6 4
The fireworks might be interesting, formalwear would be tricky for Zome, Nem might want something to take the edge off either after or during the date, and variability is fun.

To Zome:
Though the flirtation is a delight,
too strong an approach will give a fright.
Perhaps try an approach that's a bit more tender,
else your efforts will be returned to sender.

>SEA-SIDE DINNER in LITTLE SHINATO and attend a SHINATESE CLASSIC THEATRE.
>SCANTILY-CLAD IN SEASHELLS AND TIGHT SKIRTS
>A Bottle of Local Rollish Single Malt Grain Whiskey (Which Sami is totally going to steal)
>Mix-and-Match according to the mood (Kerikronk for happy, Kraze for angry, Zome for aroused, and your normal style for everything else)
>Venian from Family Business Quest as waiter
>Jiniki from Tezakia quest as chef
>Spike and Kitty have crashed the restaurant because it is related to their Level 5 mission
Any questions?

4 1 11 4
Custom Item:Meta Crystal
At her discretion Nem can crush this delicate and lovely gem. Doing so will allow her to reverse one event and replace Zome's actions with another previously made suggestion, even if that suggestion would otherwise be invalid.

4. CASUAL MERICUDIAN DINNER in the North Gaelend Mericudian refugee village, followed by a FIREWORKS WORKSHOP and SHOW.
3. Classic Elegant
2. Undersea bouquet (Basically it's a small, self-contained aquarium)
1. Kerikronk NEW GROOVE Style (the angular style)

YOU are now ZOME Smik 2017/02/21(Tue)13:58 No. 781850 ID: e136ae
File 148771429571.jpg - (202.35KB , 640x720 , MericudianRefugeeVilliage.jpg )

You have opted to make reservations for a restaurant in the quaint MERICUDIAN REFUGEE VILLAGE in Yieslen, North Gaelend (a university town where the populace is more mixed). THE SHOW arranges these reservations for you, picking a place that has a good reputation and frequent traffic between main Yieslen and the village. You will still stick out like a sore thumb, but the restaurant has a photo of you and has been warned in advance of your special needs. You will have a private booth away from most of the crowds.

DEEP ONES are extremely rare in Gaelish territories, but as they are not entirely uncommon in Shinato their existence is not unknown (especially in a university town) and the DEEP ONES have a reputation similar to the SEELIE COURT -- fair but dangerous if offended. You will enjoy the protection of the SEELIE COURT on this date, provided you don't do anything really rash.

After dinner, you will head into the central part of the village where a fireworks display will be set off in celebration of Love. This is a special holiday most recognized by Mericudian refugees in recognition of the freedom to love that is offered in Gaelend, and is often attended by outsiders. This is because homosexual love is forbidden within the central parts of modern Mericudia and frowned upon (or kept secret) in the outskirts, but in Gaelend it is accepted and in North Gaelend it is not looked upon as anything peculiar at all.

Synopsis for Humans:
The festivities usually involve a lot of wine, a lot of weed, magic mushrooms, fireworks and sexual experimentation. Quite often what happens during the Celebration of Love stays within in the Celebration of Love.

Officially the festivities focuses on fireworks, friendship and affection between established couples.

Having knowledge of GAELISH CULTURE, ZOME knows that Nem might not approve of Mericudian cuisine; while they are not permitted to keep animals for slaughter they are allowed to hunt in selected areas. However Zome has been assured that most of the village's restaurants also cater to a traditional Gaelish palette. Sami and Amy will have no problems.

ZOME also knows that this is their best bet for reaching first base with Nem due to the festival.

Smik 2017/02/21(Tue)14:24 No. 781857 ID: e136ae
File 148771588320.jpg - (99.84KB , 640x720 , ZomeGetsReady.jpg )

** TO DO **
- Decide on a gift
- Decide on motivation

ZOME has decided to go BUSINESS CASUAL. While the restaurant will have casual dining, it means that ZOME will be better dressed than most others but not so better dressed as to stick out.

What Zome hasn't decided on yet is a gift.

>>781410
Zome has no access to such powerful magic items that could undo time itself, but is torn between an aquatic bouquet (representing Zome's people) or some Rollish whiskey (because liquor is quicker).

YOU as an influence in Zome's Psyche should be able to pick the best gift based on what Nem has already told you during the reveal.

Trait Revelations
- ZOME is pregnant because DEEP ONES often will select mates based on genetic traits they wish to grant their children. Once fertilized, the eggs go into SUSPENDED ANIMATION, not beginning to develop until placed in the BACK POUCH. DEEP ONES may have many eggs in stasis within their bodies, not allowed to develop until they have found someone with an appropriate personality to help raise the children. DEEP ONES only note the source of genetic material for health reasons, the term "Parent" used strictly for whoever helped raise someone.
- ZOME is immune to drugs and alcohol. This is not a universal trait, but some DEEP ONES seem to have this natural immunity.

** META BEGINS **

However, since ZOME is to be a person and not simply a physical shell for Quest, we need to flesh out some of Zome's MOTIVATIONS now that they are our protagonist.

1. WHAT is Zome's MOTIVATION for the date?
A. Looking for a spouse. Zome would like to see if Nem would make a good parent for their children. Zome is fully aware this will mean switching to a dryland lifestyle but fortunately they have arrangements they can make. Zome's knowledge of Gaelish culture is because they feel a kinship for Gaelish philosophy. Zome will be motivated to find out about Nem's values and parenting style as well as her intellectual, psychological and sexual needs (as a parental partner's needs must be honored).

B. Sex. Zome has deep knowledge of Gaelish culture because they have a fetish for them and thinks Nem is extremely attractive. Zome will attempt to get Nem to go as far as possible during the date but will not go anywhere near rape, since it is a Capital Offence in Gaelish culture and could get Zome executed. Nem's intellectual and psychological needs and interests are merely means to an end if it means getting a shot at her ends.

C. Satiate Curiosity. Zome is very curious about the Gaelish and Nem is probably the most curious example they have to offer. Research is all very well and good, but Zome would like to know as much about Nem from a psychological, intellectual and PHYSICAL side as possible. Zome will be motivated to get Nem to talk as much about herself as possible as well as experience as much of her body as she is willing to allow, but even knowing where she is and is not comfortable is rewarding.

>>781857
Sex fits the character most, spouse fits species the most but curiosity seems the most fun to play because it allows a lot of freedom for us and actually fairly good chances of success for the date.

Voting curiosity.

C seems the most compatible with Nem, and neither of the other two seem funny enough to make up for it. The spouse thing is only funny for five minutes before it gets awkward. Probably less for them.

>>781857
A little of all, with C being highest, and B not far behind or possibly sometimes taking the lead depending on the situation.

I already cast my gift vote above, so I'm not gonna double dip and make things confusing. (Not changing it, though)

Smik 2017/02/22(Wed)15:58 No. 782154 ID: e136ae
File 148780791381.jpg - (61.08KB , 640x720 , RollishWhiskey.jpg )

** TO DO: **
- Refine your motivation.

>>781857
ZOME decided on ROLLISH WHISKEY.

This particular bottle of whiskey is unique to the North Gaelend Rollish community, brewed in the mountain valleys with fresh running spring water and little to no faerie influence.

It is sweet and lively although surprisingly hot.


ZOME's MOTIVATION IS CURIOSITY.

What does ZOME most want to know or experience about Nem?

What is the nature of the physical link between Nem Morrigan and the Black Wolf?

And how do you have sex with both?

Smik 2017/02/26(Sun)03:00 No. 783107 ID: e136ae
File 148810685910.jpg - (185.17KB , 640x720 , Nem Shows for Date.jpg )

>>782166
ZOME does not know who MACHA is.


You arrive before Nem and her entourage at a quaint but very popular Mericudian restaurant in the refugee village within Yieslen, North Gaelend.

The Dating Game has called ahead for your special needs -- and warning them about the slime prints you tend to leave -- and you find that you will be seated on a second floor balcony, away from the main dining area. Not only does this give you privacy, but you suspect not everyone appreciates the smell of sea brine.

You breath through your neck gills after all. While you lack a nose your gills are capable of detecting flavours and you always have the option of breathing through your mouth which is more sensitive, although it dries you out to do so.

At least the table and chairs are an appropriate size; Mericudians tend to be wide and you're far more comfortable than you would have been at a Rollish location.

The decor is an interesting mix of traditional Gaelish tradition and what you assume is whatever Mericudian style the refugees remember -- combing hardwood floors, hemp rug, stone and other natural materials but influenced by art deco. You are just glancing over the menu when Nem and her friends arrive.


Flanking your date must be Sami -- the Rollish rocker girl armed with a Siren's Axe -- and Amy, whom you can tell is concealing what is certainly an illegal firearm. Combat firearms -- and you know this being familiar with GAELISH CULTURE -- are illegal for civilians to own, but Amy is not a Gaelish citizen and the fact that she clearly has very strong faerie blood coursing through her may put her in a legal grey area. Judging by the way she carries herself, you're guessing she has Unseelie parentage.

You can tell they are both sizing you up. You are also a bit dismayed to see Nem's reaction to you -- she is trying, and failing, to hide her displeasure with the way you smell. This wasn't unexpected but you had hoped that she could at least mask her feelings a bit better.

On the positive side, there is absolutely no fear in her eyes and her body language of disgust didn't start showing until she got close enough to really smell you.

Interestingly neither Sami nor Amy seem to be all that offended by your musk. As Sami gets closer, you recognize the delicate fragrance of her freshwater water fae heritage and it makes perfect sense.

YOU MUST NOW DECIDE:
1. Introduce yourself first. Your introduction MUST RHYME as usual.
2. Wait for Nem to introduce herself.
3. Something else? (Specify)

... Face it, nobody wants to rhyme on the date.

"Damnit, I knew I should have bought the flower perfume.
Oh hi Nem, want to go straight to the ballroom?"

>>783107
"Good evening to you three.
I hope the journey was not tough.
I may be alarming,
but the town is charming.
Though things began a bit rough,
would you care to join me?"

(rhyme schemes help make things more fun. this one's 'a b c c b a')

Smik 2017/02/27(Mon)15:12 No. 783454 ID: e136ae
File 148823713745.jpg - (137.83KB , 640x720 , ZomeResponse.jpg )

>"Good evening to you three.
>I hope the journey was not tough.
>I may be alarming,
>but the town is charming.
>Though things began a bit rough,
>would you care to join me?"

Amy and Sami exchange glances, then turn to Nem who says "They always talk like that,"

Sami cocks her head to one side.

Sami: "They"?
Nem: Good evening, Zome. These are my friends Sami and Amy. Sami, Amy -- may I introduce Zome, a Deep One who has informed me that they have a dozen penises and an extraordinarily complex vagina. So yes, "They".
Sami: ... interesting.

Nem: Will you excuse us for just one moment?

Nem turns, presumably to speak to the other two in confidence. You hear Sami hiss "Nem, you're being RUDE," with Amy chiming in "It's not a good idea to be rude to faeries and their kin, especially... well, I don't know if Zome is Unseelie or not but it's just not a good idea" with Nem objecting quietly with "No, this can't wait!"

As a matter of fact, it's pretty clear that all three have underestimated your ability to hear their conversation, probably mistakenly betting on the fact that you don't have ears. What you do listen with however is just as good as what they use.

Sami: Nem, what the hell.
Nem: I don't know if I can do this.
Sami: Said the avatar of Death, Black Wolf, etc, etc. Yes you can.
Nem: Zome smells terrible.
Sami: Zome smells of the sea, it's not that bad.
Amy: C'mon Nem. You'll hurt her feelings.

Nem sighs.

Nem: Aside from the smell, what do you think?
Sami: ... honestly? I like her.
Nem: "They".
Sami: Whatever, I see two sets of good sized tits and the dicks are hidden.
Nem: I think Zome's just trying to get into my pants.
Sami: Nem, everyone wants to get into your pants, but Zome doesn't give me the vibe of anyone who would do try anything violent. I get a real feeling that rape is beneath her. If she's getting into your pants, she's gonna charm them off you first.
Nem: I'm not comfortable about this.
Amy: We're here, and we will protect you.
Sami: That reminds me, why didn't you bring Macha along instead? She's a lot more intimidating.
Nem: I wanted someone with common sense, Sami. Macha's more a girl than I am.
Sami: Why not Rekki?
Nem: It's kind of awkward to bring another man along, don't you think? Besides, I thought you two might like to have a night out together at the same time. You like Mericudian food, right?
Amy: Nem, that's very sweet.

There is a pause.

Nem: Everyone's trying to get into my pants?!
Sami: Well, anyone with taste at least. This isn't the time, but I'm just saying just because people would very much enjoy getting into you pants doesn't mean they're bad or dishonorable people.

Sami turns back to you suddenly and gives you a wink.

Sami: We're almost done, Zome. Nem's just a little nervous since this is her first date and all. I'm sure you know how the neglected pretty ones are like their first time out.

Sami: Stop being rude, Nem. Say hello, enjoy a nice meal and see where it goes from here.

As they turn Nem gives you a shy, shaky smile. Sami sits next to you, Nem sits across from you, and Amy sits across from Sami. You can smell Amy's pheromones in the air; something in the conversation pleased her greatly. While they're not directed at you, the scent is rather stimulating and you're sure it will have a subtle effect on the entire table.

A number of thoughts cross your mind as to what do do next:

1. Sami seems to be in your corner; attempt to recruit her as a wingman.
2. Encourage Amy to release more pheromones. She is almost certainly not conscious that she's doing it, so stimulating her psychologically is probably your best bet.
3. Lay the charm on Nem as Sami predicted you might.
4. Give her the gift now.
5. Order food first; you can chat while you're waiting.
6. Some other stray thought enters your head instead: _____________

>>783454
Order food first. The gift can be given during the chat, admonishing that it should be saved for later. After all, wasn't there a fireworks workshop later? Alcohol and explosives don't mix well, unless one is trying to make the explosion worse for people. ...also, it might be uncouth to bring in outside drinks to a restaurant with intent to consume.

Smik 2017/03/12(Sun)18:43 No. 786939 ID: e136ae
File 148936940073.jpg - (173.14KB , 640x720 , ZomePlacesOrder.jpg )

>>783576
You snap your tentacle-digits to get the attention of the waiter -- no mean feat considering they're slippery -- and are somewhat disappointed by the lack of appreciation from your dining companions.

The Mericudian is an older gentleman, with a typical heavy build and who has adopted the 'razorback' mohawk, a cut typical of the refugees as a mark of separating themselves from the main of Mericudia. He hands you all menus.

You glance down and take a look at the selection.

You are a little repulsed that there is deeproch (similar to lobster) on the menu. It is concerned fine cuisine by the Mericudians but it's the equivalent of eating possum for your culture.

One of the vegan dishes -- clearly designed for their Gaelish clientele -- catches your eye. It is called 'Rainalan' and is basically pasta & vegetable dish with a truffle sauce. The Gaelish aren't big on pasta but you know that Mericudian cuisine is some of the best in the world and their truffle sauce is famous for its delicate flavours. Nem might like this dish, then again her pallette might not be refined enough to really enjoy it.

There are also two wild game specials -- the Mericudian refugees are only allowed to obtain their meat from wild game or fishing.

The Rutting Maffant Sweetheart is a specialty dish that is known for its aphrodisiac qualities. It is the throat of a maffant (a large, aggressively territorial animal) stuffed with a mixture of several of its glands and testicles, which is then breaded and fried. The animal was slain while rutting, which is why it is supposed to have aphrodisiac qualities. There is a Mericudian technique designed to leech out the bitter flavour the rutting normally gives the meat, coupled with the use of particular kinds of spices. It is a very rich dish but definitely not for one who shies away from meat.

There is also Feldlep Pie, also known as Revenge Pie. A feldlep is a creature that could be described as 'cross a deer with a kangaroo with an attitude problem' -- a leaping creature with horns. While not particularly territorial they're known for ravaging gardens and ramming its defenders. This is the only game that is always considered "in-season" by the Gaelish government. It's purposely mixed with a variety of the same fresh vegetables and roots it prefers to eat, and a bit of a tribute to their Gaelish hosts. This is a dish commonly enjoyed by Mericudian, Rollish and Shintanese people and even occasionally the Gaelish themselves (especially the farmers that the feldlep plague; hence the nickname)

Finally there is Puffball Pizza -- it can be served Gaelish (vegan) or Mericudian style. It is essentially a young giant puffball mushroom sliced, light brushed with oil, truffle sauce, and then topped with either Gaelish (mixed vegetables) or Mericudian (meat, vegetables and cheese) toppings before being baked.


Please select your menu item, and you think you should also recommend one to Nem -- your knowledge might impress her. You might even make a suggestion to Sami & Amy.

However, you MUST RHYME your order!

I've got my sights on the Feldlep pie.
It seems it may be worth a try.
Puffball pizza might be tasty, too
With toppings suitable for me or you.
Decisiveness, perhaps I should hone...

Sami, any dish that seems tasty?
Amy, my order too hasty?
Rainalan, safe gaelish option to chance,
unless Nem's on an adventurous dance?
Cheese, at least, didn't move on its own.

Smik 2017/04/10(Mon)04:54 No. 794818 ID: e136ae
File 149182524218.jpg - (121.29KB , 640x720 , BlindDateNem_OnDate.jpg )

>I've got my sights on the Feldlep pie.
>It seems it may be worth a try.
>Puffball pizza might be tasty, too
>With toppings suitable for me or you.
>Decisiveness, perhaps I should hone...

>Sami, any dish that seems tasty?
>Amy, my order too hasty?
>Rainalan, safe gaelish option to chance,
>unless Nem's on an adventurous dance?
>Cheese, at least, didn't move on its own.

Nem sighs and tells you that Gaelish-style Puffball pizza will be fine. Maybe you should have suggested the 'Rainalan'?

You get a note across the TEN from Sami.

Sami: I thought you guys KNEW Nem or something? The only reason why she's not here with the KERIKRONK is because she thought you'd ruin the date on purpose. You'll make more headway by pushing her comfort zone.

Sami: Amy and I will have The Rutting Maffant Sweetheart.

The waiter nods asks if they want to share one.

Sami: Hell no. I'm pretty sure we can handle one each.

Amy: Pretty safe bet.

Sami: Plus I want all the ammo I can to fuck her brains out later.

Amy: SAMI!!!

Amy flushes a deep red and gives Sami a weak shove on the shoulder.

Sami, again across the TEN: See? She might protest but Amy loves stuff like that. She's been trained to hide her sexuality, but I say what she wishes she could and it's a turn-on.

Smik 2017/04/10(Mon)10:39 No. 794858 ID: e136ae
File 149184598088.jpg - (143.20KB , 640x720 , WhatNowZome.jpg )

It seems you're not making as much progress with Nem as you had hoped; she's not impressed with your meal suggestions.

What should you do to turn this around?

1. Present Nem with her gift.
2. Ask Nem if she'd like to see one of your tentacles.
3. Use flattery.
4. Ask Nem what she's planning to do to achieve her dreams.
5. [Add Your Own]

... Face it, nobody wants to do this quest anymore because there's TOO MUCH RHYMING.

Please end the rhyming quirk we'll accept two quirk penalties just make it stop

PRESENT GIFT

"I think my breasts are your smile is growing wider,
how about we celebrate with this acidic cider?"

Smik 2017/04/11(Tue)22:05 No. 795210 ID: e136ae
File 149197353041.jpg - (137.35KB , 640x720 , TwoStrikes.jpg )

>>794928
>PRESENT GIFT
>"I think your smile is growing wider,
how about we celebrate with this acidic cider?"

Nem looks at you puzzled for a moment.

Nem: It's a Rollish whiskey, isn't it?

Zome: Yes.

Nem: It's a grain alcohol.

Zome: Yes.

Nem: You were stuck for a rhyme, weren't you?

Zome: Yes.

Nem: You don't have to rhyme around me if it's getting hard.

Zome: Thank-you.

Nem: Thank you for the gift.


Well THAT could have gone better. It could have gone a lot worse too, but you're pretty sure you're blowing this date -- at this rate you'll get a freaking handshake. Nem was polite and grateful for the gift but it didn't IMPRESS her.

You might have impressed Sami more with it actually, but she's taken.

You've pretty sure you still have one last chance to at least get a second date -- forget convincing Nem to drop her panties, you just need a second shot and let her get to know you.

You have ONE LAST PLAY during DINNER CONVERSATION to impress Nem enough to give you a second date. Nothing short of the best play will salvage this beyond 'a nice night out and a hug'.

1. Ask Nem if she'd like to know a secret. You will have to think of a GOOD secret first -- and it must be something established that Nem doesn't know about, and it better be interesting enough that she will want to know more.

2. Tell Nem you've studied Gaelish culture and would love to get her opinions on it to dispel or confirm some of the myths and information.

3. Ask Nem if she wants to see some DEEP ONE erotica and/or pornography. You have some stored on your smart-mirror.

4. Something else: _____________

5. Give up, just enjoy yourself and have some casual conversation with the group.

>>795210
fuck it 3

Smik 2017/04/12(Wed)06:53 No. 795266 ID: e136ae
File 149200522219.jpg - (140.47KB , 640x720 , StrikeRecovery.jpg )

Zome: So Nem, I've heard you're a curious girl.

Nem: Uh-huh.

Zome: Ummm... wanna see some Deep One porn?

Nem: ... flat whats

Zome: On my SmartMirror.

You hand your mirror to Nem, who has never seen Deep One porn even in North Gaelend, widely considered the exotic porn capital of the world. You understand this is mostly because trade relations between the Deep Ones and North Gaelend (or most dry land) are almost totally nil due to logistics.

Amy: REALLY?! AT THE DINNER TABLE?!

Nem: Fascinating!!

Amy: NEM! REALLY?! AT THE DINNER TABLE?!

Nem: They have multiple vaginas!

Amy: ... multiple... wait, why? HOW?! No no, why am I talking about...

Sami: This at the dinner table? Eh, it's done deal Amy, just relax.

Nem: I'm curious why multiple vaginas though. It's terrifying and mesmerizing.

You explain that Deep Ones have multiple vaginal canals and once the egg stored within is fertilized the canal closes up. You explain how Deep Ones pick the best physical specimens to fertilize the eggs, which remain in stasis until it's convenient to give birth. Then the eggs are moved to your incubating womb located on your back. You explain that most Deep Ones pick the fertilizer for their attributes but actually pick their mate -- someone to help raise the children -- for love.

Nem listens intently and continues to ask questions over dinner which irritates Amy and amuses Sami, but they both remain quiet as to give Nem her time.

Apparently Nem is the kind of person who can watch porn while eating at the same time, although it's hard to tell if she's aroused or just fascinated.

It's clear Nem has absolutely no qualms about asking all kinds of personal information to a nearly complete stranger even during dates and romantic situations, it's probably one of the reasons why she and TGCHAN obviously get along and have also never gotten snanal with a snayor.

The DIRECTION OF THE DATE is now dependent on TWO FACTORS:

1. Where you get your porn from (this dictates the kinds of questions Nem will ask).
2. How much detail you are willing to go into answering her questions.

** Porn Source (multiple may be selected but selections have consequence) **
I...."Vanilla"
II...Enemy Quest
III..CoxwetteLive
IV...Horny Hotties (actually Gaelish porn)
V....Fishermen's Wives (animated only)
VI...Voluptuous Deeps
VII..Tangled Tales
VIII.Jellyfish (it's a Deep One thing)

** How much detail **
A....Brief
B....Verbose
C....Too Much Information
D....Rambling AND Too Much Information

1) "V҉aǹi̸ll̛a"͡

2)V̸̧̰̰̟͎̣̙̹̯̙͓̱̖̣͓͉̀͒͛͌͑ͥ̉̅͠ͅe̷͈͎͉͖ͦͥ͂͐ͪ̓ͪ͂ͥ͒̈ͤ̋̓̋͝͠r̨̨͈̫͎̦͋͒̐̃ͭ̿͑̈ͫͪͯ͐̽̇̐̕b̷̧͓̫̗͉̜̙̮̯̮̙̯̺͖̝͙̓̋̑ͨ̓̆̃͘͟ͅoͫͬͮ̓̋
̬͈̭͓̫̠̘̜̬̟͎̻̜̜̻̬͌͛ͫ̈͂̄̌̌̿ͮ͜͜ͅs̨̪̟͇͚̃̿̎ͫ͠͡e̡̡̮̦̗͉̼̖͖̙ͯ̇̌̌̈́́̏ͭͣ̽̕͠ ̢̧̹̙̲̲͖̘̦̭̼̣̘̣̳̩͍̊̊͑͒̏͆͗́ͯ̅̾ͫ̅ͫ̋̊̎̍́͢

I, VI, VII, VIII. C

VI + VIII = Deep One Bestiality (Type C)

DATE COMPLETE (Part 2?) Smik 2017/04/13(Thu)00:10 No. 795431 ID: e136ae
File 149206742125.jpg - (160.36KB , 640x720 , BlindDateEndPart1.jpg )

Nem is quite curious about some of the porn choices and "Tangled Tales" especially caught her attention. You give her detailed information over dinner to the point where Amy is put-off, but both Nem and Sami are genuinely interested.

Later on, you enjoy some fireworks. Sami and Amy eventually leave the two of you alone to enjoy some private time themselves, but you sadly note that Nem is ensuring you keep your tentacles to yourself and no matter what smooth talk you attempt she makes it clear that holding your tentacle is as far as she's willing to go tonight.

Just as you've given up all hope, Nem thanks you for a nice evening out and kisses you on the cheek, giving you her contact information.

It's nowhere NEAR what you hoped and the kiss on the cheek was a far cry from even your lowest expectations but at least it wasn't a complete disaster.

YOUR RANKING: NOT LAST PLACE
YOU ACHIEVED: SECOND DATE

Any additional dates is beyond the scope of this quest; this is BLIND DATE QUEST not SECOND DATE QUEST.

We may not done yet though. Wouldn't it be nice to be the one that the contestants are vying for a date with?
Are you interested in PART TWO, where you will control the target of three potential paramours? Curious to see what it's like to be on the receiving end of an odd-but-interesting individual trying to get into your pants?

Smik 2017/04/13(Thu)00:21 No. 795433 ID: e136ae
File 149206808865.jpg - (69.88KB , 640x720 , SamiAward.jpg )

Sami would also like to award PANKANK with the "Way To Pull It Out of the Fire" trophy! His two suggestions really did prevent the date from ending in total NOT-REALLY-EVEN-FRIENDZONE disaster!

>>795431
Meh, can you focus on Sami Quest and/or a new Nem Quest? These side quests are fun, but without any new canon main storyline material, it's getting old.

>>795433
Sami never do that again

>>795465
I'm waiting on an important decision in Sami's Quest. I had some people ask in chat and want to give them a chance to submit a suggestion.

>>795465
Also the second part of Blind Date wouldn't have anything to do with canon material, it'd be all original.