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890020 No. 890020 ID: 2007b6

http://tgchan.org/wiki/Please_do_not_Take_these_Organs
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4587981


You all met in a tavern in some no-name logging town out on the frontier. Scruffy prospectors, scheming merchants, disgraced minor nobles, and deranged veterans from thousands of miles away converged on rumors of a ruined fortress from the Old Empire and the priceless treasures within. Seemed like a great way to get rich, make a name for yourself, or at least keep busy while avoiding the big cities for whatever reason. Things went wrong. Now you're lost, with barely any supplies. Getting out alive won't be easy. Might still score some wealth and power on the way, though.

Pick a class (hedge witch, rich bastard, soldier, or townie), and a specialty within that class. A hedge witch specialized in healing can resurrect the dead, if all the key giblets are in place, but after they start to go rancid it's like pushing an avalanche back uphill.
Pick a higher ambition (compassion, fame, honor, wealth, rule the world, etc.), and a lower ambition (fetish).
Pick either a phobia, a concealable mutation/parasite, or a supernatural vulnerability - or all three plus an innate power.
For example, an elf could have a phobia of disfigurement (an un-pretty elf is called an orc), pointed ears providing acute senses but vulnerable to overstimulation, and the power to balance effortlessly on any solid surface, no matter how narrow or fragile. An adventuring vampire could have a phobia of holy powers, concealable fangs to heal by drinking blood, vulnerability to immersion in running water, and the power to transform into mist. A corrupted princess could have a phobia of slime, vagina swarming with ravenous centipedes, supernatural incompetence at stealth (due to perfume, sparkles, and ghostly theme music), and the power to channel magical energy blasts through jewelry, although the actual jewelry is sold separately.
Obviously, you can't have any power that would make escape trivial... but since the surrounding rock is effectively sealed airtight, and twisted geomancy interferes with scrying or teleportation across different dungeon levels, that doesn't rule out much.

Everybody starts with travel clothes including boots, gloves, a hooded cloak, knife, flint for sparking, and food and water for a day.
Pick up to seven additional pieces of equipment, carried on the left hip, right hip, left shoulder, right shoulder, chest/neck, top of head, and hidden somewhere uncomfortable. Armor only protects the part of the body you're wearing it on. Concealed armor is only useful against nut shots, garrotes, and similar precision attacks to areas covered by clothing.
Equipment options:
arrows (specify bow or crossbow; 20 for a hip slot, 12 for a shoulder slot)
axe
big hammer (requires a hip or shoulder slot)
blanket
block of soap
boiled leather armor (on shoulder or hip, upgrades corresponding glove or boot with vicious spikes)
bow (requires a hip or shoulder slot)
bronze statuette (dildo-sized; specify a saint, demon, etc.)
candles (longest-lasting but weakest light source)
canvas (hang it up for a tent, throw some leaves on it to conceal a pit, add a sail to a small boat, etc.)
chain armor (on shoulder or hip, upgrades corresponding glove or boot with sturdy scales)
chalk
clean cloth, hooked needles, & thread (fishing, first aid, etc.)
crossbow
coin purse (simplify trade and bribery, distract intelligent monsters)
dried bread (one human's food for a week, or ten days for a soldier, improvised weapon or tool)
dried fruit (one human's food for a week, sugar buzz, distract slimy monsters)
dried meat (one human's food for a week, or two weeks for a soldier, distract toothy monsters)
feathers, penknife, lots of parchment & ink (for mapping)
fishing net/hammock
iron spikes (jam doors and traps, add handholds to walls, distract rusty monsters)
iron statuette (dildo-sized; specify a saint, demon, etc.)
jade amulet (rumored to have some mystical protective value, certainly looks pretty)
jug of fortified wine (disinfect wounds, or drink to postpone loss of sanity)
jug of oil (enough for a dozen lantern refills, or one big slippery mess)
jug of water (one human's drinking water for two days, quench a small fire, etc.)
kindling (feed a small cooking fire for 6 hours, or get a big bonfire started if you can find some heavier logs)
knives (in a bandolier if carried openly)
lantern (burns for 6 hours on internal supply of oil)
lead bullets & sling
manacles (includes padlock, key, and about four yards of heavy chain rated for nearly two tons)
mining pick
plate armor (only available for head or hidden slot, unless you're a rich bastard)
rope (ten yards per slot, 3/4" thick, rated for 1100 lb or forty yards, 3/8" thick, rated for 300 lb)
shovel
spear (requires a shoulder slot)
tools for lockpicking and field surgery
wooden shield (requires a shoulder slot)
wooden statuette (dildo-sized; specify a saint, demon, etc.)

Hedge witches can also take consumable magic items: Brassfruit Balm (for cuts & burns), Cinnamon Incense (smell makes demons sleepy & suggestible), Dragonweed (for ingested poison & rune-borne curses), Garlic Vinegar (disinfectant, repels parasites), Greekfire (burns ferociously on contact with air), Salamander Salve (knead to produce heat without fire), Wolfsbane (for blood-borne curses), Dehydrated Wall (each handful of powder poured out onto a lake congeals into ten square feet of inch-thick crystalline bridge or bulkhead), or invent your own. One slot per type, but that represents several applications and knowledge of how to prepare more.
Rich bastards get better-quality versions of most equipment, and also one seriously expensive thing, such as a master-quality sword (requires shoulder or hip slot), knife made of all-penetrating starmetal, jug full of honey, slab of salt, pocket-watch, telescope, or minor permanent magic item.
Soldiers don't have any extra equipment options, but make more efficient use of weapons, ammo, armor, and food, and are generally tougher.
Townies can take books (anything from 'cooking for beginners' to the Necronomicon), drugs, or poisons. Again, one slot per type gets you several doses and familiarity with the production process.

New players, or new characters for players whose current character has been incapacitated, can join in at almost any time; adventurers wander into the ruins and get lost on a daily basis, it's plausible enough they could encounter each other.
Limit one character per player to start. I'll explain further mechanics as we go, but for now, any nontrivial action should be accompanied by a 3d6 roll. That means you should type "dice 3d6" without the quotes, in the e-mail field, not the subject field. No initial space, just a single space between the word and the numbers. No capitalization. If you're on a phone, you might need to disable autocorrect to avoid accidentally capitalizing the first letter.
233 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 908995 ID: a02a86

rolled 3, 6, 5 = 14

>>908910
Now that we’ve eaten, how long before I’ll need another meal? Going to follow the uphill path for a high advantage against anything that might try and flank me from the rear.

Haven’t explored much, but OOC I was under the impression that Minotaurs are rather good at navigating labyrinths. Is that a bonus to a mapping roll, or something more supernatural, or what?
>>
No. 908998 ID: 094652

rolled 1, 3, 2 = 6

Sahara is bored. Rolling to look for treasure just because.
>>
No. 909000 ID: af1d8b

rolled 6, 1, 6 = 13

>As for why you might want to double back to the throne room
I am thinking this is the way to go. Looks like Green could use some rest anyway. Barring any objections Mizer will lead everyone back to the throne room, quietly scouting ahead for danger.
>>
No. 909151 ID: 33aff7

>>908910
The wet cloak, and the still smoking candle says that someone was recently here. Gale attempts to call out to this mysterious someone, "Hello. Is anybody here?"

Green is a shaken a little with the sudden appearance of his companions. He is relieved that it was not some folk dangerous. He relaxes, and says little.
>>
No. 911104 ID: 2007b6

>>908995
>Now that we’ve eaten, how long before I’ll need another meal?
Longer than your rage-addled brain can easily conceptualize. Eight hours, maybe.
>Haven’t explored much, but OOC I was under the impression that Minotaurs are rather good at navigating labyrinths. Is that a bonus to a mapping roll, or something more supernatural, or what?
Superior spatial reasoning means navigational tasks that would be valid to attempt, based on observations while in this form, instead succeed automatically. It's the equivalent of the best quality map, but can't be usefully transcribed.
>Going to follow the uphill path for a high advantage against anything that might try and flank me from the rear.
After 170 feet there's a 10' wide side passage on the right, which smells like rust and panic, or you could continue straight for another 200' or so toward a natural cavern.
>>908998
You find four platinum coins and a blue-and-yellow striped feather which is likely magical.
>>909000
>>909151
Mizer sneaks up, hears Gale asking if anyone is there.
>>
No. 911289 ID: add037

rolled 2, 3, 4 = 9

>Mizer sneaks up, hears Gale asking if anyone is there.
Not sure if he's friendly. Might be a good idea to pretend I'm one of those vampires.

Staying out of sight and letting his voice echo gently through the doorway, Mizer will try to mimic the friendly tone of the vampire that attacked Ivori. "What are you doing down here, all by your lonesome?"
>>
No. 911290 ID: 094652

rolled 2, 1, 1 = 4

>>911104
[Thinking]"... That feather reminds me of something...

... Anyway MAGIC FEATHER WOOT
And a whole BOOKSHOP WOOT
And rent. That's good.

But I should shush and hide the money somewhere safe or the greedy bat will claim it for his weird lance damage repair reimbursement."


Sahara pockets the coins somewhere uncomfortable (and safe/secure). Sahara grasps Eira's hand and tries to figure out where the treasure came from in hopes of finding more.
>>
No. 911293 ID: 94e72b

>>911289
Gale receives an unfamiliar yet friendly voice. He assumes that it belongs to the resident of this room.
"Oh. I'm just some explorer looking treasure. I hope you don't mind me visiting."
>>
No. 911352 ID: ae8ec4

>>890020
Background: Montezuma is a former peasant and scout for one of the many Vutu warlords far, far from the dungeon. The Vutu, once regular humans, has received blessings from their god through copious amounts of blood sacrifice of catfolk in their ancient past. The passage of time has ravaged the Vutu so that there would be no one unified state since the dawn of their ancestors. Peace has arrived at Montezuma's liege's fiefs, and Montezuma refuses to return to a life of peasantry after fighting for so long. He has traveled to the dungeon to seek his fortunes there, and dreams of fighting for no man but himself, swimming all the while in riches and women.

Name: Montezuma
Race: Cat-human
Class: Soldier
Higher Ambition: Get money.
Lower Ambition: Impress them rich hoes in and out of the dungeon
Specialization: veteran peasant scout and archer
Mutation:The Vutu ethnic group of which he descends has cat-like eyes, allowing him to see in dark like a feline. Sensitive to bright lights more so than normal.
Supernatural vulnerability: felines of all shapes and forms, supernatural or not, are immediately hostile towards him on detection. Sentient beings are exempt from this although are inclined towards hostility.
Phobia: Mounted cavalry as enemies, brings back bad memories of being chased or mowed down
Innate Power: Superhuman agility, no comic hero stuff, but comparatively.

Left Hip: Arrows
Right Hip: Leather armor
Left Shoulder:Bow
Right Shoulder: tools for lockpicking and field surgery
Neck: Jade amulet
Top of head: jug of wine
Somewhere uncomfortable: Knives
>>
No. 911430 ID: 70386e

rolled 2, 3, 2 = 7

>>911104
>After 170 feet there's a 10' wide side passage on the right, which smells like rust and panic, or you could continue straight for another 200' or so toward a natural cavern.

Rust and panic sound like a problem for another Minotaur to deal with. Let’s head towards the natural cavern.
>>
No. 911483 ID: afdebc

>>911290
>Sahara pockets the coins somewhere uncomfortable (and safe/secure). Sahara grasps Eira's hand and tries to figure out where the treasure came from in hopes of finding more.
Well I suppose Eira can't not notice this if her hand is being held at the same time.

"Um, whatcha doing there Sahara?"
>>
No. 911515 ID: add037

rolled 3, 6, 3 = 12

>>911352
New player? Welcome!!

>Looking for treasure
>Hope you don't mind
Hahaha he's adorable. "You should be careful. There are vampires lurking down here! I have friends nearby, why don't you follow me so you can meet them? And turn off your light."
>>
No. 911535 ID: ae8ec4

I'm actually going to wait for JamesLeng's input considering I'm new and I don't wanna make his job more difficult.
>>
No. 911542 ID: 32f3ac

rolled 5, 3, 5 = 13

>>911515
"Oh. Okay." Gale attempts to follow the voice. Heeding the advice of the strange voice, but wary of a trickster, he does not shut off his light, but dims it into a small sparkle easily concealable in the hand.
>>
No. 911759 ID: 2007b6

>>911430
Chasm about 30' wide, rope bridge across that might be able to support your weight. Running water down below, though by the sound of things it's slow moving, or at least not very turbulent.

>>911352
Approved, though you might want a handle other than 'suggestion' so your posts are easier to recognize.

>>911290
>tries to figure out where the treasure came from
>rolled 2, 1, 1 = 4
That's a crit success. Sahara figures out how to step off the compulsory path through the garden, following the route the children took into the house after treating Green Redford's wounds.

Rather than an abrupt threshold, once inside the house the path-compulsion fades gradually, like dissipating smoke. At certain points you can choose to stop and admire some artistic element on the wall, first for fixed intervals, then as long as you please. Blurry dreamlike silhouette of a servant emerges from a side passage (which is still definitely forbidden) and speaks in a language you've never heard before, though a few simple phrases and their approximate meanings spring to mind; deviate from the 'script,' the servant bows and departs, then your feet resume pacing steadily down the hall. Are you headed to the throne room for an audience with the Lord, or out through the atrium and front door, down the street to the marketplace?
>>
No. 911798 ID: afdebc

rolled 3, 1, 6 = 10

>>911759
Did Eira tag along / get dragged along for the ride when Sahara managed to step off the path? (They were holding hands, after all). And if so, do I find the compulsions similarly fading off the path, or am I stuck in a keep following your companion around trance?
>>
No. 911836 ID: b52a98

rolled 4, 6, 2 = 12

>>911759
Doesn’t seem out of the question to balk at a potentially faulty bridge- even if she’s following her more animalistic instincts, Lizzy doesn’t remember seeing any people with hooves crossing bridges before.

Then again, she doesn’t recall seeing people with hooves at all before either, so that might not be a fair assumption.

Let’s turn around, check out the panicked smelling room before making a decision either way.
>>
No. 911840 ID: ae8ec4

rolled 5, 1, 1 = 7

>>911759
Montezuma has been following the adventuring party from behind for a while now, opportunistically letting everyone clear out the various dangers ahead. He has yet to introduce himself out of desire to get first pickings of future loot once there was a chance to move ahead. Now that everyone has sort of split up, he's going to quickly and quietly move across the wooden bridge making special use of his [superhuman agility] to make sure the bridge maintains its integrity while traversing it. He's also going to try and be stealthy while surveying the otherside of the bridge for any signs of ambush, bow drawn.
>>
No. 911844 ID: c8a0f5

Name: M35-2 (Or just Mattar the Second, Scion of the House of Melodies works)
Race: Magitech Robot
Class: Rich Bastard
Specialty: Making sweet sweet music

Higher Ambition: Establish a school of music famous enough to be known around the world

Lower Ambition: Hearing the sound of his own music

Phobia: Isolation

Concealable Mutation: As a twofer, in spite of identifying as a male, Mattar is entirely hermaphroditic, and as a robot has skin that looks almost like wet rubber

Supernatural Weakness: Since it wasn't programmed right, his fake skin is hyper sensitive. Not to the point where his clothes or walking are an issue, but where almost anything else can be, and it's extremely distracting.

Power: Playing any instrument he can get his hands on (or his voice if need be) so well that burning special effects made of real fire come up to accent his performance. He controls this fire subconsciously through the music, but he doesn't have any fine control over it.

Right Shoulder: Magical Double Bodied Lyre (Expensive Item)
Left Shoulder: Dried Meat
Right Hip: Jug of Fortified Wine
Left Hip: Portable Bongo Drums
Chest/Neck: An inscribed amulet with a circuit aesthetic that he claims is from the House of Melodies
Uncomfortable Place: Iron Statue dedicated to himself

Feel free to offer improvements, but ideally he would be in one of the next rooms the party enters drinking wine and playing music
>>
No. 911855 ID: 0fc931

After clearing up that mutations aren’t required to be negative, I would like to change the mutation to be that his cybernetic innards are extremely different from humans, so while he does look like he breaths, he doesn’t need to breath.
>>
No. 911862 ID: 2007b6

>>911798
Initially you get separated. Sahara can explain the necessary timing and effort of will when - or rather, if - she gets back.

>>911844
Ambitions should be more divergent than that. Bongo drums aren't on the inventory list. How about a blanket - upgraded, thanks to the rich bastard equipment bonus, to some elaborate silk-lined sleeping bag - for mitigating that tactile hypersensitivity when you're trying to sleep? Or, alternatively, a set of lockpicks/surgical tools to turn it maximally to your advantage.
>>911855
Alright, with a few caveats: he breathes through his skin, like an amphibian. No sense of smell and a fairly limited sense of taste, any and all bare skin is as taste-sensitive as the tongue. Can't drown in ordinary water or suffer blocked-airway problems, but would still die quickly in a completely oxygen-free environment, and can't voluntarily refrain from breathing (e.g. to avoid poison gas) with anything less than a head-to-toe hazmat suit. Exotic metabolism needs some alcohol in addition to conventional food and water, about one dose (mug of beer, shot of whiskey, etc.) per twelve to sixteen hours; that jug of fortified wine ought to last you at least two months with reasonable rationing. Excess alcohol counts toward food-calorie requirements. Cannot get drunk. Subsisting exclusively on hard liquor and water is possible for years at a time but will eventually result in health problems from lack of protein and trace minerals.

>>911836
It's not a room. The side passage goes straight for thirty feet, turns left, another ten yards, turns right, another ten yards, and then appears to continue straight beyond a perfectly normal looking section of floor which sounds hollow when you step on it. Probably a pit trap, though it didn't open up in response to the equivalent weight of a human in full armor, so there might be something more complicated going on.

Hallway's narrow enough to brace shoulders on one wall, hooves on the other, and pressure-walk past a suspicious section of floor, though of course that's much slower and more fatiguing.

>>911840
You're not at the rope bridge, that's just Lizzy (who's been cursed with transformation into a Minoan ox-man and concomitant berserk rage). You're with Gale and Mizer, leaving the starting room through the door to the right of the entrance (or on the left relative to someone sitting on the throne) on the way to meet back up with Green Redford, Sahara, and Eira.
>>
No. 911864 ID: bb5006

>>911862
Alright, I'll take that (even though breathing robots is a bit weird, but I guess poison gasses are extremely common in this dungeon, and breaking the difficulty would be a no-go)

As for what to swap out the Bongos with, the lockpicks/surgical tools would probably be the best.
>>
No. 911869 ID: afdebc

rolled 4, 5, 2 = 11

>>911862
Well! I guess Eira is keeping watch over Green Redford, while she waits for her her different allies to (hopefully) make their way back from opposite directions.
>>
No. 911870 ID: bb5006

As for a more divergent Lower Ambition, having not noticed that, going back to the fetish option, having people innocuously touch him.
>>
No. 911883 ID: 094652

rolled 1, 1, 4 = 6

>deviate from the 'script'
Okay. Logically, if the two options are "speak with the Lord who asked for you" and "go to the marketplace", you would expect the former to be of higher priority and thus an essential part of the 'script'.

Plus the Lord is probably a giant hungry dragon.

Sahara decides to visit the market, by which she means window shopping and then go straight to an inn. Hopefully this won't kill her.
>>
No. 911970 ID: ae8ec4

rolled 3, 2, 2 = 7

>>911862
Okay then. I am going to turn to Gale and Mizer and say to them "I am going to scout the area up the uphill path. I'll holler if there's anything of note." Then I'm going to walk towards and try to cross the rope bridge, quickly and quietly using my [superhuman agility], bow drawn and scanning for any sign of ambush.
>>
No. 912002 ID: 2007b6

rolled 36 = 36

>>911864
You could be a nonbiological construct that doesn't need to breathe, but that'd probably also mean lacking the ability to heal naturally, or even benefit from conventional healing magic.
>>911870
Approved.
>>911883
Hallway looks less and less like an actual lived-in house as you go. The "front door" seems more like a broken-down wooden security gate in an abandoned mine, and the "marketplace" is a natural cavern, forty or fifty feet wide and hundreds of feet long, with holes carved in the walls that resemble small storefronts (but could equally be beds, or burial alcoves in a tomb) and crimson fog swirling in patterns that call to mind a crowd of shoppers, but there's no compulsive script left at all. Even as far back as the split between "market" and "throne," you realize it was more a matter of deliberately tracing threads rather than being dragged along by shackles.

>>911970
Montezuma runs off through the left-side alcove, down a few hundred feet of straight corridor, across a bridge, down another hundred feet of twisting rough-hewn tunnel, and into a crypt where the sarcophagi are carved with images of men holding swords and shields (shaped like upside-down teardrops), before realizing that the rest of the group hasn't been keeping up. Rolling for wandering monsters.
>>
No. 912006 ID: 2007b6

Alright, since everybody's running off to split the party IC, and I'm noticing there's players I haven't actually heard from since mid-July, let's do an OOC headcount. Anyone who doesn't post a rolled action in this thread within the next week or so, your character may have somehow become separated in the confusion and gotten lost, never to be heard from again, or one of the more active players may step up to take over playing them.

>>912002
>rolled 36
>>911970
>rolled 3, 2, 2 = 7
Eight goblins in light armor, armed with hand axes and shortbows, are scouting out the crypt. Don't seem to have noticed Montezuma yet, but they probably will within the next few seconds.
>>
No. 912016 ID: 094652

rolled 4, 2, 4 = 10

>>912002
Interesting, so this was a simulation of some sort, where the standard coat of paint was Glamour with a side-order of mind-control? It has been a while and the "shops" are all closed and the paint has "peeled off". If that's the case, then all the loot that would normally be protected by the actors and magical wards is up for grabs! Sahara could loot the whole place right now!

... Is what she wants to do, but refrains. This place gives her the creeps. She's alone, and if she slips into a pitfall or an old trap or suffocates, that's it. Better to turn back and get the party to trigger the traps for her scout ahead and help her carry the heavy loot. Besides, they find out she's been holding out on the jackpot, they'll lynch her and burn her body for good measure.
>>
No. 912017 ID: 5e3087

>>912006
Gale was wary. He went to his metalloception and determine Mizer's location through their equipment. He examined them for any weapons, and any back-up cavalry that may be with them.

There was also that strange person... Gale did not know them, but they seemed to be intent in possibly assisting them.
>>
No. 912018 ID: 5e3087

rolled 1, 4, 5 = 10

((Crud. I put it in the wrong box.))
>>
No. 912418 ID: 0640da

Doctor Holly Falkmin, Purveyor of Miracles
Class: Rich Bastard
Specialty: Medificinal Herbological Substances & Remedys
Higher Ambition: "Find" the "Fountain" of "Life" and become "Immortal"
Lower Ambition: Scamming the hell out of people.

= MALADIES =
Phobia: Scopophobia - Dr. Falkmin is afraid of being seen beneath her clothing-- as a Grue, she has been told from a young age by the village's seer that being seen will be her cause of death and she has internalized this as a fear of being stared at, ogled or stripped of her clothes. If she has sex, it must be in a pitch black room and you must be blindfolded to begin.
Mutation: Plague Mask - A darkened visor inside of a mask filled with activated charcoal to prevent diseases, toxins and sensory attacks from assaulting her. Unfortunately, the visor makes the dungeon almost impossible to see through-- when worn, her plague mask gives a heavy penalty to all visual checks, including her medicine. If she removes it, she suffers Scopophobia.
Supernatural Weakness: Medically Incompetent - She will not treat someone for a problem that her medicine has caused or that she has already 'cured'. If you do not believe she has cured you, you are just trying to weasel out of the bill. She is, of course, a miracle doctor who has PERFECTLY CURED YOU, and will not stand for your slander. Take the cure or leave it!

= MIRACLES =
Innate Power: Doctor Holly Falkmin's Spectacularly Wonderful Magical Snake Oil Miracle Medicine - (Editor's Note: Snake Oil Medicine for short.)
Doctor Falkmin is, perhaps, the greatest alchemist of our time. This is a rather unfortunate thing, as the talent is wasted on a hack like her. She knows the secret properties of things around her-- the toxins bugs secretly hold, the medicine manufactured from mundane plants and the very properties of magic and the earth itself used in all her medicinal treatments. She's also perfectly willing to throw ethics out the window and use theoretical potions on her patients without bothering to test them. Her medicine can save your life, but is also just as likely to kill you. Her complete belief in her medical talents means she won't use a medicine on your maladies twice, but one sip of her 'remedy' is often just enough to make you suffer.
When she pulls out one of her potions or prepares one on the spot, she makes a roll. If she rolls a critical success, she produces a miracle cure with absolutely no side effects that perfectly cures the condition, regardless of severity. A standard success will produce a side effect that isn't helpful to the situation, but shouldn't be too much of a hassle to deal with through play. Her healing potion might turn you invisible, or her boil removing lozenge might turn your skin blue. Failure on the roll produces an inconvenient, unpleasant, or moderately dangerous ffect, like sneezing or drunkenness or temporary numbness in an extremity or the loss of FP or maybe a few points of HP. Critical failure produces severe effects like choking, organ failure, lasting paralysis or necrosis of a limb, 6d6 damage, or a coma. However, there's no guarantee that even a successful roll will actually cure the poison. Doctor Falkmin is a 'miracle doctor', not a miracle worker. Better working conditions, performing an actual exam and knowing about the patient's conditions will all improve her chances of success, so if you really want something treated get her to a medical clinic first.
Lastly, Doctor Falkmin has a theoretically infinite supply of her dubious potions in a variety of forms-- lozenges, salves, pots, brews, mints and powders galore. These potions are only considered infinite for the purposes of producing cures and throwing at her enemies, and she will run out if she attempts to make a sale or otherwise use them-- actual sold alchemy products must be made with resources developed in-game and not produced from nowhere. She may also not produce them if, for some reason, she is missing all her gear. She can, however, seemingly find vials in any pocket she can get her hands on.

= EQUIPMENT =
Left Hip: Tools for Field Surgery
Left Shoulder: Clean Cloth, Hooked Needles, Thread
Right Shoulder: Block of Soap
Hat: Feathers, Penknife, Lots of Parchment, Ink
Right Hip: Canvas
Somewhere Uncomfortable: Coin Purse
Chest/Neck (RICH BASTARD): Alkawhoozit's Special Stave of Instant Camping & Frivolity - A wheelbarrow that folds up into a walking stick. Can't hold anything when it's folded up. Could use it as a regular wheelbarrow, or shift it around in a different way and it's got a bunch of little drawers and compartments. Weighs 18 pounds as a regular wheelbarrow, 20 as a cabinet, or 4 as a staff. If you try to reconfigure it while there's stuff inside, it falls out. Divides effective weight of itself and contents by five for encumbrance purposes when being rolled along a reasonably smooth solid surface, even if it's very narrow. Limited to about two and a half cubic feet, unless the stuff you're carrying stacks really well, but it can support several hundred pounds without apparent structural strain. The stick form is adjustable in length, say, anywhere from three feet to twelve feet. Takes a few minutes of playing a four-dimensional Tetris-meets-Hellraiser minigame to reconfigure. No roll required unless you're in a hurry, though, or if someone else is trying to do it without your instructions. Weight may be different based on length.
>>
No. 912426 ID: 9646f1

rolled 5, 1, 1 = 7

>>911862
Okay, so a potential pit trap vs a rickety bridge. Seems like up was not the way to go. Snorting at the unstable terrain everywhere she goes, the Lizzytaur heads down towards the bottom of the slope she originally headed up after fighting the vampire.
>>
No. 912451 ID: 67f3bb

rolled 6, 2, 6 = 14

>He went to his metalloception
The source of the voice is crouched up against a wall, wearing a peculiar helmet probably designed to fit over or around big floppy ears. Various piercings on said ears, as well as a bunch of various metallic knick knacks and tools, the most weaponizable of which is a shovel.

>am going to turn to Gale and Mizer and say to them ...
"Who ..."

>Montezuma runs off ...
"I'm not waiting for your friend to return. Follow me or don't, I am leaving." Roll to meet up with Eira and Green again and lead them back to the throne room. This time Mizer's not stopping for any distractions. Though if Gale is having trouble following in the dark Mizer will go back and lead him by hand.
>>
No. 912489 ID: 2007b6

rolled 36 = 36

>>912418
Some of the details on that innate ability are inaccurate, but it's an adequate approximation.
>>912451
> Roll to meet up with Eira and Green again and lead them back to the throne room.
>rolled 6, 2, 6 = 14
Eira, Green Redford, Mizer, "Doctor" Holly Falkmin, whoever else responds in a timely manner...
>>912016
...and Sahara, all meet up back in the throne room, pursued by...
>>
No. 912492 ID: 2007b6

>>912489
...another squad of goblin scouts. You'll have to deal with them somehow before Mizer has time to get the plasma lance back in working order, but diplomacy might still be an option.

>>912426
Lizzitaur, meanwhile, goes down a long slope, left turn, eighty feet, right turn, fifty feet to a slanted T-junction but she intuitively realizes the left branch is a dead end, then down the right side there's another eighty feet, 45 degrees off from the way you came in, to a Y intersection. Left fork there smells like distressed snails and fresh fish, right fork more like religion. Or, you could take some time to search the dead-end area.
>>
No. 912552 ID: afdebc

rolled 5, 2, 1 = 8

Oh good, we managed to all find each other again! And a doctor!

>squad of goblin scouts.
>but diplomacy might still be an option.
"Hello, can we help you?"
>>
No. 912554 ID: 094652

rolled 5, 6, 1 = 12

Sahara grooms her hands as a means of subtly checking and preparing her claws for combat. If diplomacy fails this should help her initiative.

Plus it's cute, maybe the goblins will like it.
>>
No. 912650 ID: 0640da

rolled 3, 4, 4 = 11

"Oh! How wonderful! Customers!" Doctor Falkmin claps a few times. "Wondrous! Magnificent! Magical! I should set up shop right away! One moment-- staff is a bit fiddly..."

Doctor Holly begins struggling with a jigsaw box in the corner, turning her stave into the support beam for a tent...

"Just a moment, and I can offer high quality potions to everyone present! Free samples for enterprising customers who want to stay healthy, yes?"
>>
No. 912683 ID: 2007b6

>>912552
>>912650
The goblins do not find it notably suspicious (or apparently even particularly surprising) that a traveling doctor has set up shop here. More than half of them have apparently had digestive some problems ever since their forward base got a new cook, who'd never seen rabbits before and apparently still doesn't know how to clean them properly. Lot of other injuries and ailments associated with a military career, of course, but that's the one they're particularly sore about, since it's new.

"Before we commit to a deal," says the patrol leader, "have you got some matchbooks, or anything like that, with your heraldry on 'em, so if the potions don't work out, our kin will know who to wreak gruesome vengeance on?"
>>
No. 912695 ID: 9646f1

rolled 4, 5, 5 = 14

>>912492
Snails and fish of course!

Any details on what Lizzys new dentition looks like? She runs her tongue across them and pokes a finger around in there, checking out her chompers. Molars, pre-molars, canines, incisors, what's going on in there?
>>
No. 912746 ID: 2a73e6

rolled 4, 4, 6 = 14

>gruesome vengeance
"I'd like it to be known that I've never met this doctor and can't vouch for her remedies." Mizer will say as he works on the lance. "Do any of you know what the deal is with that throne?"
>>
No. 912767 ID: afdebc

rolled 2, 3, 6 = 11

>More than half of them have apparently had digestive some problems ever since their forward base got a new cook, who'd never seen rabbits before and apparently still doesn't know how to clean them properly.
Any of us know our way around a rabbit well enough to offer the cook some pointers?
>>
No. 912768 ID: 094652

rolled 5, 1, 6 = 12

"We're the Sweet Dreams adventuring company, and you can copy our logo from the company handbook."

Sahara takes out her combat manual with a logo on it and shows it to the patrol leader. Hopefully he doesn't know how to read...
>>
No. 912769 ID: 36647f

rolled 5, 1, 5 = 11

((I haven't done something with Green in a while, so...))
Odd. Green was not familiar with people. The green things were strange though, but the masked one was stranger. Green tried to look at Holly's wares, a bit enthusiastically.

~~*~~

Gale joined the group. He sticks close to Mizer, though he's still wary. The doctor was especially suspicious, but decided to keep quiet for not. Who in the world would run into a dungeon just to make business, and doctoring was certainly a business typically not done down here. That mask looked atrocious though.

Gale looked to Mizer, and said, "So, hello there. I'm Gale."

"So, throne. What's strange about it? Don't dungeons come with furnishings?"
>>
No. 912775 ID: ae8ec4

rolled 6, 5, 4 = 15

>>912006
Before they can react, Montezuma is going to fire an arrow at the sarcophagus using his superhuman agility and then dashing as fast as he can towards the rope bridge. Shooting the big magic thing might destract the goblins long enough for maybe a trap or monster to come out and kill them.
>>
No. 912776 ID: ae8ec4

>>912775
Oh balls.
>>
No. 912836 ID: 0640da

rolled 3, 3, 6, 1, 4, 3 = 20

>>912746

"All of my medicines and cure-ails are wondrous and miraculous displays of rigorously tested alchemical and thelogical science! Only a non-believer witch loser would dare to doubt the efficacy of my wares-- they have a 100% curing potential potentiate on the Perkin's Power Potential spectrum! Here, why don't you try a sample-- on the house! What could go wrong?" Doctor Holly finishes setting up, and holds out a green-and-yellow flask of slush for Mizer. This flask has the property of 'makes the target feel giddy', which I guess makes it a poison more than anything if actually taken as prescribed. "Speaking of Perkin, you look like you could use a perk-me-up smile cure! Give it a go-- it's free!"

>>912683
"Well, if it's stomach problems you're having, then I know just the thing! Everyone knows bezoars cure poison, but did you know bezoar powder in tablet form is perfect for tummy troubles? Try out Doctor Wurblin Wobblin's bezoar tablets and feel the healing power-- today!" She's going to present a few powdered tablets for each goblin from a mayonnaise-size jar made with the effect 'soothes indigestion'. They're, alchemically, made of goat kidney stones treated with goat... eugh. Urine.

((Two potions removed with the innate power!))
>>
No. 912943 ID: bb5006
File 154389862483.jpg - (126.41KB , 655x1000 , Mattar skin.jpg )
912943

>>912492

Chasing some distance behind the Goblin party, an auspiciously clad man with a gold colored cloak came running in from ahead, looking somewhat panicked in the dim light until he got to where the group of people were. He looked like a normal human, save for the fact that his skin looked 'off' (Picture related), and he didn't look like he was out of breath in spite of the fact that he very much sounded like he was. In spite of this, he straightened out and introduced himself as personable like as he could.

"Well met fine strangers... I see you too have come and gotten lost in this... Dungeon. I'm sorry for your loss. I too was lost in here unfortunately, and just when I made some friends, they keep trying to leave me behind."

This was something of a lie, in truth the Goblin party had stumbled on him crying in some corner about being so alone and had the misfortune of him noticing them, and so he just started following them and they didn't try to kill him for whatever reason.
>>
No. 912953 ID: 1d7053

rolled 3, 3, 3 = 9

Green is going to attempt to pickpocket the goblins.
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