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File 156020965206.png - (219.23KB , 800x600 , title.png )
935377 No. 935377 ID: 395c02

The events of this episode take place between Dragon Romance threads 8 and 9.

This quest is NSFW.
128 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 938177 ID: 7c1196

>>938151
Perfect

--

E.
>>
No. 938261 ID: 4b08a5

>>938149
an 'improvement'

local $suggestion = {
return \&A if &A->();
my $_ = $ceridad? \&D : \&E;
&{$_}() && do{return $_} or die;
};

$choice = \&{$suggestion->()};

do {$choice = $choice->()} while (&{$choice}->());
>>
No. 938276 ID: 864e49

>>938261
When I typed that out I thought I'd get the response "NNNNNNEEEEEERRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDD!!!!!".
I should've known that on this sight I'd instead get out nerded.
>>
No. 938295 ID: e51896

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

...

[B]E[/B)
>>
No. 938582 ID: 395c02
File 156262553150.png - (72.82KB , 800x600 , 26.png )
938582

"...."

Oh man. This guy looks really, really done with this shit.

Well, done with whatever shit he was previously dealing with, anyway. He's going to need a minute to get tired of our shit.

...hmm, that's not very optimistic, is it?
>>
No. 938583 ID: 395c02
File 156262553434.png - (86.68KB , 800x600 , 27.png )
938583

A gruff voice emits from his mouth. "You kids lose your mama or something?"

"We're not kids! We're just smol!" I object.

"Okay."

That's... a muted response. "Uh, are you seeking your... True Beauty, perhaps?" I ask.

"Nah."

"Uh... maybe you'd like a nice outfit anyway?"

"My clothes suit me fine."

There's something really familiar about this guy... "Are you one of the guards?"

"Nope."

"Uh... you run one of the stores?"

"Stall in the foodcourt."

"Ah..."
>>
No. 938584 ID: 395c02
File 156262553707.png - (116.75KB , 800x600 , 28.png )
938584

"Is it really okay having someone who's this unfunny?"

"HE'S KINDA CUTE THOUGH did i say that out loud oh well what's done is done"

He scoffs. "I'm plenty funny."

"...Are you?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Yeah."

"Mm-hmm."

Well, we're not winning any awards for this dialogue anytime soon.
>>
No. 938585 ID: 395c02
File 156262554092.png - (78.10KB , 800x600 , 29.png )
938585

Normally I'd shrug and let this guy go his merry(...?) way, but we really have to take advantage of every potential customer if Kharadra's going to save her store!

If I can just find the right angle, maybe I can still convince him to take a look inside...


What should I do, say, or ask?
>>
No. 938587 ID: 8d23f0

>>938585
apply Penny hugs.
>>
No. 938589 ID: b1b4f3

Ask if he's okay. He seems annoyed about something, does he want to vent? You can offer a comforting floof.
Also don't forget to mention Kharadra does alterations if he wants to make any changes to his existing clothes.
>>
No. 938592 ID: e7848c

Why not offer him something that fits his character? Even more clothes that depect exactly how he's feeling? He may have something like that now, but what if he had something like this for tomorrow too? Like a "Shits given today: 0" shirt.
>>
No. 938593 ID: 094652

Sell him 'upgrades'. Don't call them clothes or fashion, call them permanent purchases with twelve yearly payments that will increase his stall's sales!
>>
No. 938596 ID: 0fae41

"Sir, I find that the right clothing can put a smile on a customer's face (so you don't have to)! Come inside and browse our affordable collection of dated meme T-shirts."
>>
No. 938601 ID: 4b08a5

>>938585

Give him a promotional t-shirt and a few coupons (15% off a ᵯ40 or more purchase), also hand out one of those quality reusable shopping bags to put all those things in.

Tell him something along the lines of "starting next week, on each Monday and Friday, Love Yourself(TM) will offer 20% off random categories of clothing. But since it's Love Yourself(TM)'s Grand Opening, EVERYTHING will be 20% off this week!"

You are not just going save the store, Gulketi, your going to make it so successful that Kharadra will have to franchise it in order to keep up with demand. Kharadra would be so proud of your idea that she would be more than willing to do that 'favor' you suggested earlier.

This is completely 100% your original idea... totally not some random guy without any actual education in business that had enough patience to type all this out on a mobile.
>>
No. 938627 ID: 864e49

He's wearing some kind of robe and his hair is terrible, he is a lost cause move on.

Actually yeah maybe if we make it seem like we're not interested in him he'll get curious. Or just leave. Win win.
>>
No. 938641 ID: caf1de

he looks like an absolute dingus offer to help him fix that
>>
No. 938643 ID: a9a7b5

"You seem like a man who's emotionally invested in not being emotionally invested in anything. That's a paradox! Why don't you tone back your disinterest so that you don't come off as too interested in being disinterested? Because this shop would be the perfect place to fail to succeed in failing to care!"
>>
No. 938651 ID: 1e9cbc

>>938643
Yeah, hit him with that arguably nonexistent technicality. Gulketi is an accountant right? Accountants are closely related to lawyers, genus Papyrus confounda, which means he should get a technical-drivel-specific boost to speech skill by proxy.

This is foolproof. Anyone who says otherwise must not have read the subtext of article 6, paragraph 23 under 'nothing could go wrong' in the quester's instruction guide, issue #3, New Testament.
>>
No. 938656 ID: aef44e

>>938585
Hey guy, you look all kindsa mad. Why be mad, when you can be...
(turn into an Amtsvane)
SOMETHING AWESOME!
>>
No. 938744 ID: a9af05

>>938585
Most guys don't like to be called beautiful, so maybe instead of trying to appeal to his "inner beauty", you should instead try to appeal to his "inner coolness" or something like that.

>>938656
>(turn into an Amtsvane)
Absolutely do not do that!
>>
No. 938779 ID: bcc41d

Oooh! I know what this guy needs. He need a change.

Like, you've got literal psychic powers telling you that his defining feature is that he's incredibly tired of this shit. He wasn't even at the store when she felt that! So that means it's probably of his everyday situation that's gotten him grumbly. You've also got a psychic's word that he was coming HERE. Like, to this store. To check it out.

He's probably looking for, well, essentially what you're doing right now! Something that will allow for a change of pace, to relax or excite him a little. So that's what you gotta work with! You're probably the brightest (most manic) things he's seen outside the everyday routine since that weird polymorpher invaded the mall and accosted, like, everyone. And you know for a fact that something made him come here, whether it be you, his own doldrums or the events earlier... and if that's the case you CAN help him and you WILL!

"So, no to True Beauty, but what about smol cutey... I MEAN maybe you need a change of pace? There's some stuff in here that could give you a new perspective on things."

Does Kharadra have something that can change someone's height or species?

"Like, literally. You're soooo tall, so I bet it would be quite the shock to be small again! NOT THAT I HAVE ANY RECENT EXPERIENCE WITH THIS."
>>
No. 939174 ID: 395c02
File 156319293739.png - (131.39KB , 800x600 , 30.png )
939174

>he looks like an absolute dingus offer to help him fix that
Yeah, this guy could really use a change of his whole, uh... everything. Why would you go through the trouble of putting on clothes if that's the end result?

I dunno, maybe my opinion is a little skewed. Most of the people I know either try to dress nicely, or don't bother with clothes at all.

...Or are Siphon.

>he is a lost cause move on.
Giving up on people isn't my style! Sometimes you just need to reason with someone to get them to change, or to abandon their plans for galactic domination.

i've had to put out so many sparklers...

"You look like a man who's invested in not caring about anything. But, like, that doesn't make sense, you know? If you wanna look like you don't care, you need to care less about not caring."

...I usually do better than that. Curse this ketza brain!
>>
No. 939175 ID: 395c02
File 156319294903.png - (119.01KB , 800x600 , 31.png )
939175

He shrugs. "Don't really care to not care about caring."

"What? Oh! You're going for irony! Maybe you'd enjoy our collection of meme shirts! Memes are very ironic when they're not terrible which is most of the time!"

ketza braaaaaaaaaain

"Dunno what a meme is," he says. ...Oh right, the tech level here isn't advanced enough for that.

"Uh, maybe something that fits your character? Imagine having clothes that display your feelings!"

"...."

"Okay maybe your current outfit's doing that already, but think about tomorrow! Or the next day! Imagine wearing a 'shits given, colon, zero' shirt!"

"I have 4 of those."

Of course he does. "We have 20% off coupons!"

"Most clothing stores go up to 50% off."

Maybe at the thrift store!

....

Judging from his outfit, that's a real possibility.
>>
No. 939176 ID: 395c02
File 156319295862.png - (103.84KB , 800x600 , 32.png )
939176

I grasp at straws. "Maybe you just need a change! Want to be cute? Tough? Big? Bigger!? Love Yourself can change just about any aspect of your look to match your inner, uh, coolness? The real you inside!"

"You remind me of her."

"Who?"

"Crazy lady that ran around naked. Talked about how big her boobs were."

That has to be Ceri. Acting crazy and talking about boobs is, like, her thing, I'm pretty sure.

He turns away. "Well, this was a thing that happened. See ya."

Argh. Guess this one's a write-off.

Wait, Penny's stepping forward...!
>>
No. 939177 ID: 395c02
File 156319296909.png - (111.11KB , 800x600 , 33.png )
939177

"NOBODY WILL JUDGE YOU!"

"Penny...?"

"YOU CAN BE BIG AND STRONG! OR SMALL AND CUTE! AND IT'S OKAY! BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU, AND THAT'S GOOD TO BE!"

This could really use some dramatic music. Too bad I left my guitar on the ship. And that it's amtsvane-sized.

"OTHER PEOPLE CAN'T LOVE YOU IF YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF FIRST! THIS PLACE CAN MAKE YOU YOURSELF, AND IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY LAUGH OR JUDGE! THE ONLY WAY TO BE HAPPY IS TO BE YOU, EVEN IF YOU'RE JUST A KABOLD AND NOT ACTUALLY A KABUSH!"

"...."

There's only two ways this could go. Either he's about to turn around for a happy and tender moment, or we're setting up for that one joke where it looks like they're going to turn around but they say no and leave instead.
>>
No. 939178 ID: 395c02
File 156319298241.png - (104.94KB , 800x600 , 34.png )
939178

"No thanks."

"AFTER ALL THAT!?"

GODDAMMIT IT WAS THE SECOND ONE


-A: Tell him to stop being a dick! I dunno if it'll help, but I kinda want to call him a dick right now.
-B: Call for reinforcements. We need Kharadra to charm the pants off him! is he wearing pants?
-C: Tag-team with Penny to look extra cute and fluffy. CHARM never fails, and it won't fail here!
-D: Accept that he's a lost cause. This time could be better spent on less difficult customers.
>>
No. 939179 ID: 0fae41

A/d. Ketza braaain.
>>
No. 939180 ID: b0a972

I think you should just D. Besides everything else, you don't want to be pushy! That's not what Love Yourself is about, and you don't want people to think it is! This is a place of acceptance, even for non-interest!
>>
No. 939181 ID: 8d23f0

>>939178
B apply big titty horny is an emotion! or d
>>
No. 939185 ID: 91ee5f

>>939178
D

Being pushy ain’t gonna help you draw in customers. And just like with most businesses, not everyone is going to want to buy your stuff. You just have to accept that someone didn’t want to buy something and just wait for the next customer.
>>
No. 939186 ID: 83bf07

I'm expecting D to win but B to Deus ex in and save us.

C, b
>>
No. 939191 ID: e51896

B

(maybe accidentally hook the two up?)
>>
No. 939193 ID: 821e1c

C/d
>>
No. 939201 ID: b1b4f3

>>939178
D.
>>
No. 939208 ID: 2df440

Oh no, appeals to cuteness won’t work!

Go for A/D to bluff him into coming back!
>>
No. 939217 ID: 1ed92d

>>939178
D. It is impractical to harass this man.
>>
No. 939220 ID: 864e49

Just tell Penny(loud enough for him to maybe hear but not shouting) that he's a lost cause.
>>
No. 939222 ID: 7fb87a

>>939178
D
He's ONLY the second one. If he's not ready, or interested, pushing won't help.

And on a more practical note, that poncho/minikilt combo doesn't look like its got pockets for a wallet.
>>
No. 939234 ID: 121253

D/C, but being pushy is not good for the store image if others are watching.
>>
No. 939241 ID: c0594d

D
Best to just let him go. Who knows, he might have second thoughts sometime in the future.
>>
No. 939249 ID: 094652

>>939178
D

If you harass the stubborn customer for purchases, everyone interested will shirk away out of fear that you'll harass them even more.
>>
No. 939327 ID: 6b18b0

>>939178
D
-for Don't worry.
You tried the pitch, he isn't interested. Which is fine, he knows what you have to offer and decided it's not for him.

Any more effort would have negative returns, time to regroup with Penny and be ready and happy for the next customer.
>>
No. 939336 ID: 484934

>>939178
D

Just hold the L.
>>
No. 939340 ID: 8d4593

Ask him about the Flower.
>>
No. 939346 ID: ae9bd9

>>939340
Yes! Someone who truly doesnt care would never have such a blatant display of originality on them! This must be the chink in their armor!
>>
No. 939354 ID: b1b4f3

>>939340
I mean I'm sticking with my vote but there's no harm in asking about it I guess.
>>
No. 939450 ID: a9af05

>>939178
D
>>
No. 939455 ID: e51896

Yes, ask about the flower. We got a weak point... though, it doesn't seem to be a choice. well since flowers are cute, we'll go with C

(changing my vote) >>939191
>>
No. 939489 ID: 7fafab

Ask him about the flower. Otherwise, B, D

Now, don't try 'n' force him. He's clearly won't appreciate trying too hard. Bug him too much, and you'll completely turn him off to changing.

Amtsvane-sized guitar? Jesus that'd be low-pitched
>>
No. 939674 ID: 2765c4

d most respectful option.
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