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File 128248381546.jpg - (36.91KB , 500x500 , ptitle.jpg )
220964 No. 220964 ID: f202ec

Expand all images
>>
No. 220965 ID: f202ec
File 128248394369.jpg - (45.51KB , 500x500 , P1.jpg )
220965

"At long last, my time machine is finished!"

"I'm going to fix EVERYTHING!"

"Huh. But where do I start?"
>>
No. 220966 ID: b0020f

>>220965

Let's go for an old classic. Y'know, stopping Hitler. I'm sure the ramifications of such won't be that terrible.
>>
No. 220968 ID: 5f0943

>>220966
Seconding.
>>
No. 220969 ID: 059120

Anything go wrong for you personally recently? I'm sure building a time machine is hard work, you've probably missed out on a lot of stuff.
>>
No. 220971 ID: 644ca1

Stopping Hitler never works. Go back in time to when you started building the time machine and tell yourself that "You can do it!"
>>
No. 220973 ID: f202ec
File 128248741767.jpg - (52.76KB , 500x500 , P2.jpg )
220973

>stop Hitler

This should be easy!

"Ha ha! Take THAT, Hitler!"
>>
No. 220977 ID: f202ec
File 128248779866.jpg - (39.78KB , 500x500 , P3.jpg )
220977

Oh my god! The gypsies! They were all sleeper agents... terrorist cells distributed throughout Europe and northern Africa!

After a campaign of bombings and sabotage, Romania succeeded in conquering most of Europe in 1968! Not owning an accordion is now punishable by death in France and Spain!

What do I do now?
>>
No. 220978 ID: 644ca1

Stop yourself from killing Hitler, then return home and think of a new plan.
>>
No. 220979 ID: f80af7

Form an alliance with Poland and Russia, and crush the gyps with massive amounts of alcohol and absurd.
>>
No. 220980 ID: 5f0943

>>220977
Isn't it obvious?
You must kill Lenin and stop the communist revolution.
>>
No. 221000 ID: 5a2e05

Take over where Hitler left off.
>>
No. 221003 ID: d677cc

>>220977
Wait, Romania?

How the fuck?

>>220980
But yeah let's go fuck up World War I now. See if we can't take out Gavrilo Princip while we're at it, just to see what happens.
>>
No. 221069 ID: f202ec
File 128251137367.jpg - (43.99KB , 500x500 , P4.jpg )
221069

>>220979
1948, National Theater in Warsaw.
Stalin liked the plan. Unfortunately I used all 50 lbs of gold I brought with me to bribe the Polish government into liking the plan too.
>>
No. 221070 ID: f202ec
File 128251140078.jpg - (40.48KB , 500x500 , P5.jpg )
221070

Oh, what the crap!

With Romania pacified the USSR rolled all the way to the Seine in the '50s! The Cold War never ended and Reagan is on his 14th term!

What NOW?
>>
No. 221071 ID: 32a2fa

go even further back in time and save Lincoln.
>>
No. 221072 ID: d677cc

>>221071
The more mucking with time, the better!
>>
No. 221074 ID: 3234dd

go even further back in time and kill Lincoln!
>>
No. 221079 ID: 70175f

>>221070
Fuck this.

Go WAY back in time to when life first began to form on this planet.

Jizz into primordial soup.

???

MY VERY OWN PLANET.
>>
No. 221080 ID: d560d6

>>221070
Back to WW2. Make sure Stalin stays on his meds and doesn't end up associating communism with paranoia and purges.
>>
No. 221113 ID: f202ec
File 128251688328.jpg - (71.44KB , 600x400 , P6.jpg )
221113

>>221071
>>221072
>>221074

"Take that Linc..." Oops, missed.
"I mean, take THAT, John Wilkes Booth!"
>>
No. 221114 ID: f202ec
File 128251693760.jpg - (45.81KB , 500x500 , P7.jpg )
221114

Ok, everything looks good so far!
Congress backs the president! Reconstruction and reintegration go smoothly! Jim Crow never takes hold! Perfect!

...wait, what? The Vietnam war escalated with no civil rights leaders to protest it and went nuclear?
Oh COME ON!

Now what?
>>
No. 221116 ID: d677cc

>>221114
Okay, now go back in time and mess with the development of the atomic bomb.
>>
No. 221117 ID: 644ca1

Stop the manhattan project, no nukes will lessen this disaster.
>>
No. 221120 ID: c6b41e

Prevent self from making time machine. See how the paradox resolves itself.
>>
No. 221124 ID: 3234dd

You're making great progress! Now you can go back to the colonization of South America and off Hernán Cortés.
>>
No. 221127 ID: 8bdb6a

Stop asteroid from wiping out the dinosaurs.
Replace devastated post-apocalyptic world with devastated post-apocalyptic world populated by dinosaurs.
>>
No. 221128 ID: e9ab30

Go back to when you were just an infant and kill yourself.

This may seem like a bad idea, but who knows? Maybe you'll get candy if you do it.
>>
No. 221137 ID: f202ec
File 128251870476.jpg - (31.18KB , 500x500 , P8.jpg )
221137

>>221127
*B-ZAP*
Chicxulub is safe! Pangaea rejoices!
>>
No. 221138 ID: a41aaf

>>221114
Go muck about with the War of Independence.
>>
No. 221139 ID: f202ec
File 128251874531.jpg - (40.53KB , 500x500 , P9.jpg )
221139

...yeah, it's pretty much the same but with dinosaurs.

PLAN B.
>>
No. 221140 ID: c6b41e

I'm telling you man, everything can be resolved with the Grandfather Paradox.
>>
No. 221143 ID: c1c607

>>221139
Wait, now that everybody are dinosaurs, shouldn't you be also a dinosaur?
>>
No. 221146 ID: a594b9

>>221139
Obviously you must kill all the scientists involved with making the nuclear bomb.
>>
No. 221148 ID: 644ca1

Preventing the invention of the atom bomb should have been PLAN A, not PLAN B!

Time to get it right.
>>
No. 221174 ID: 08ce05

>>221148
Yeah, but how AWESOME would post apocalyptic world with dinosaurs have been?
>>
No. 221196 ID: d560d6

>>221139
I'm telling you man, get Stalin on those meds. Glorious communist dinosaur utopia awaits!
>>
No. 221200 ID: 3234dd

>>221143

No, the missiles are now dinosaurs. Dinosaur missiles.
>>
No. 221201 ID: 8bdb6a

Steal the letter DinoEinstein writes to Franklin Delano Rex telling him to research the Bomb, thus preventing its development.

Then go to Japan and publicly give Hirohitosaur a wedgie, shaming him out of his divine right to rule and preventing the pacific front from ever developing.
>>
No. 221209 ID: e40e60

Go back to the start of the quest, tell yourself to ignore the first few suggestions, then wait for your past self to go back and complete the causal loop.
>>
No. 221216 ID: f202ec
File 128252478289.jpg - (32.83KB , 500x500 , P10.jpg )
221216

>>221116
>>221117
>>221146

Took some doing!
Just remember it's for a brighter future! The world is now safe from the perils of atomic energy!
>>
No. 221217 ID: d3dfb8

go back to when you finished your time machine then kill self so you don't fuck everything up
>>
No. 221218 ID: 8bdb6a

Those are dinosaur bones and have always been dinosaur bones.
>>
No. 221219 ID: f202ec
File 128252485834.jpg - (49.85KB , 500x500 , P11.jpg )
221219

1951, Roswell, NM

FUCK!

Now how are we supposed to fight these UFOs?

Plan... um... C?
>>
No. 221220 ID: ea1cdb

wait, are the aliens even attacking?
>>
No. 221221 ID: e9ab30

>>221219
Plan C: commonly reffered to as the "fuck it all, kill everyone" plan.

You know what must be done.
>>
No. 221225 ID: 8bdb6a

Panic and start killing historical figures at random. We'll tell you when to stop.
>>
No. 221228 ID: 8bdb6a

Or if you want something that isn't terrible, gather up a bunch of modern science texts, and give them to random scientists from Edison to Einstein.

(Note: This will probably make nukes exist again)
>>
No. 221233 ID: d3362d

Offer aliens the time travel technology on the condition they fuck off and let you hitchhike to some habitable planet in a backwater galaxy somewhere before everyone figures out this is all your fault.
>>
No. 221267 ID: e9ab30

>>221228
Don't give any to Edison, though. He's a big douchebag.
>>
No. 221274 ID: 5a2e05

>>221267
Yeah, give all Edison's books to Tesla.
>>
No. 221283 ID: 3234dd

Hey if you want to make a ton of money here's an easy way. Take a single gold sovereign and hang around somewhere for an hour, then go back two minutes in time and get the gold sovereign from your past self. Now you have two gold sovereigns. Go back another two minutes to get a third one. By the time you're an hour in the past you'll have 30 gold sovereigns, 30 times the cash you started with!

Now if we could only make that exponential growth...
>>
No. 221295 ID: e40e60

>>221283
You can get exponential growth easily. Just do it a second time with all your money, then do it again with all the money from the second attempt, and so on.
>>
No. 221350 ID: b89b83

Steal Nikola Tesla's Death Ray and/or plans for the death before the government does. Give plans/death ray to Smith and Wesson in 1946 and make them mass produce said Death Rays.
>>
No. 221356 ID: f4963f

>>221219
Aliens? Pfft.

Sneeze on them.
>>
No. 221362 ID: 644ca1

Go to the future, bring back a super weapon to the past, blow up aliens.
>>
No. 221401 ID: f202ec
File 12825586783.jpg - (48.88KB , 500x500 , P12.jpg )
221401

>>221228
>>221267
>>221274

Knowledge is power!
>>
No. 221402 ID: f202ec
File 128255870777.jpg - (44.71KB , 500x500 , P13.jpg )
221402

1911, New York City

OH GOD EDISON WAS RIGHT. THE TESLABOTS HAVE ALREADY DESTROYED NEW JERSEY NOTHING CAN STOP THEM.
>>
No. 221407 ID: a594b9

>>221402
Bullshit, tesla was a cool dude. Go talk to him.
>>
No. 221408 ID: 231806

Better not to take risks, go back in time to Nikola Tesla's school, beat up the kids bullying him and stealing his lunch money. Then teach him to talk with girls and get a date.

That'll stop him from growing as a big nerd and becoming a scientist.
>>
No. 221412 ID: b10c0e

>>221402
Good. Let Tesla take over America.
>>
No. 221418 ID: 932552

>>221407 >>221412
Tesla was a little crazy, but, yeah, he was ultimately a good guy. Haven't you ever read Cracked?
Why don't we hop forward fifteen years or so and see what Tesla did to the place? That's the cool thing about time travel. If he really did screw it all up, we can just go back in time and try to fix stuff again. Possibly by talking to Tesla before he goes even crazier!
>>
No. 221419 ID: 5eea01

...why stop them? Tesla was a pretty good-natured guy, surely he can't make things worse.

Let's see where this goes!
>>
No. 221420 ID: 5f0943

>>221402
Yeah I agree with this guy: >>221418
We gotta make sure if Tesla makes a better world or not before we decide to do something even more crazy, like seeing to that the Roman empire never fell...
>>
No. 221422 ID: 8bdb6a

Tesla was definitely a paranoid crazy, guys. I don't know what you expected was going to happen. (I wasn't expecting robots.)

Go back in time again and give Edison some notes from the future. Surely this will improve the situation and not just make everything worse.
>>
No. 221423 ID: 5a2e05

We must see how Tesla runs the world. If it's bad go back and sabotage something else.
>>
No. 221434 ID: d560d6

>>221402
>destroyed New Jersey
Isn't that GOOD END?

Proceed.
>>
No. 221451 ID: dad664

Go back in time and prevent the time machine from being made by stealing or destroying an extremely vital one-of-a-kind part.

Hopefully the resulting time paradox will reset everything back to the second post, giving us a clean blank slate.
>>
No. 221459 ID: b0020f

Go back in time. Stop Tesla by stealing his notes. Give notes to Edison.

What's the worst that could happen? Some utopia of phonographs and light bulbs?
>>
No. 221462 ID: 3234dd

>>221451

He's already rewrote history into a battle of dinosaurs versus robots. I think if a quest reset was possible at all, it would have already happened many times over!

>>221402

Ah, good old "Death Ray" Tesla. Hey you know who was a bad guy around 1911? Rockefeller! Stop the automobile revolution and create a large demand for handy contrivances like your time machine by nipping him in the bud! Between that and his network of electricity broadcasting towers, Tesla will be unstoppable!
>>
No. 221463 ID: e40e60

>>221402
This is the good ending.
>>
No. 221510 ID: 6b8890

Go back in time to the 1500's and teach the Iroquois, Cherokees and Incas how to build superior, 19th century-style weaponry, complete with rifling. No America colonization, no problem... Right?
>>
No. 221688 ID: f202ec
File 128264519354.jpg - (42.61KB , 500x500 , P14.jpg )
221688

>>221412
>>221418
>>221434
etc

...well, might as well see where it goes?

1932, Colorado SpringsTeslaburg

Ok, so after he conquered the United States and destroyed Edison, Nicolai Tesla created a techno-utopia with free energy for all citizens of Earth through wireless power transmission.

Also, everyone has a flying car.
>>
No. 221691 ID: f202ec
File 128264552394.jpg - (38.54KB , 500x500 , P15.jpg )
221691

1948, Teslaburg

Now everyone has cancer of the everything from being bathed nonstop in high-frequency electromagnetic radiation. Mutants and ghouls roam the wastelands. Also, it's all on fire now.

Ok, ok. I can fix this. BUT HOW?
>>
No. 221694 ID: 8c0848
File 128264691568.jpg - (169.09KB , 1024x1621 , cyberman2006.jpg )
221694

Go back in time and have Tesla put everyone's brains in robot bodies.
>>
No. 221696 ID: 04b0cf

>>221691

Send scientific data about how this will happen to Nicolai Tesla back 1932, if he is smart enough to put the system in place he is smart enough to fix this little issue.
>>
No. 221698 ID: 932552

>>221696
Might want to go a little further back. You know, BEFORE he starts bathing everyone in radiation.
>>
No. 221699 ID: a4074e

Go back in time and smack Tesla around beat the idea of power line poles into him before its too late.
>>
No. 221709 ID: 5565c5

>>221691
YOU MUS TRAVEL BACK IN TIME (again)!
You must prevent the fall of the Roman Empire, so that the dark ages will never come to pass.
Failing that, try to assassinate Jesus!

Heck, do both for all I care.
>>
No. 221710 ID: a76809

>>221709
BRING TESLA WITH YOU

BUT A YOUNGER TESLA

MAKE HIM ROMAN TESLA, THE IGNIMANCER, HERO OF ROME
>>
No. 221716 ID: 932552

>>221709
> Prevent the fall of the Roman Empire!
... How? Rome fell due to a combination of corruption and incompetence, in addition to over expansion, military and economic downfall. It didn't help that they also used lead pipes to carry their water. I don't think there's a way to quickfix the fall of Rome.
Do we just... tell them about the pipes and cross our fingers?
oh god why am I overthinking this.
>>
No. 221721 ID: 5f0943

>>221716
We kill all the incompetent rulers, and kill the people who killed the competent rulers.
And then maybe kill several Barbarian leaders, like Attila the Hun or whatever.

The lead pipe thing may help too.
>>
No. 221722 ID: 644ca1

>>221721
Sounds like a plan
>>
No. 221723 ID: 932552

>>221721
Let's do it! Just to see what happens!
Also, bring Tesla. Tesla's just kindof awesome.
>>
No. 221734 ID: 5a5a6b

The problem wasn't pipes, they developed calcium deposits. But yes, less lead in other things in the new roman electric empire!
>>
No. 221750 ID: f202ec
File 128267208363.jpg - (38.41KB , 500x500 , P16.jpg )
221750

>>221709
etc

No, I'm getting so close! I can fix this! Time to meet Tesla!

>>221694
Dino-Tesla looks over my documentation and, after some consideration, declares that the creation of robot bodies for the citizens of Earth is well within the power of his intellect. Next stop, utopia!
>>
No. 221753 ID: d560d6

>>221752
Yes. I am looking forward to dinosaur robot legions with electric death rays conquering the ancient world.
>>
No. 221755 ID: f202ec
File 12826723332.jpg - (51.99KB , 500x500 , P17.jpg )
221755

1980, Teslagrad

Ok guys it turns out that having a bunch of senile, indestructible robots with death rays is a bad idea! Let's try that Rome thing now or something.

fixed typo
>>
No. 221759 ID: 5a2e05

Oh shit yeah everyone is dinosaurs. I guess the dinoromans were just as bad as the normal romans.
>>
No. 221766 ID: dad664

Return back in time to immediately after you blew up the asteroid, then find another asteroid and hurl it at Earth to re-extinct the dinosaurs and bring about the rise of mankind.

Again.
>>
No. 221772 ID: 0d1fe9

>>221755
Go back in time to 9 months before the birth of dinojesus and fuck the dinonotsoirginmary.
>>
No. 221782 ID: a594b9

>>221766
That won't really change much. Remember, everything was basically the same except with dinos? Let's just fix Rome's pipes.
>>
No. 221825 ID: f202ec
File 128268062692.jpg - (91.54KB , 500x500 , P18.jpg )
221825

>>221709
>>221710
>>221721
>>221782
etc

Can't fit Tesla in the time machine. It's a one-seater!

Anyway, let's do some stuff about the Roman empire! And... maybe some plumbing? I dunno.

Ok, that's Brutus and Cassius down! I'll just pop forward a few times and take out some other things and...
>>
No. 221826 ID: f202ec
File 128268087699.jpg - (49.36KB , 500x500 , P19.jpg )
221826

1358AD, Europe

Oh goodness.

The Black Death was a bit worse this time around with good roads and larger populations. I don't think this is going to support the rise of the new middle class!

Um, maybe there's some civilization left in the Americas? It's going to be a while crawling back out of the gutter in Eurasia.
>>
No. 221828 ID: e31d52

>>221826
Sweet jebus

Let's advance the native Americans, then. Give them technological advances!
>>
No. 221829 ID: 3234dd

Black death, huh. Bummer. Should've fixed their plumbing so they could bathe and get rid of the rats and fleas.

Good news is now there's no way the brilliant yet troubled Nikolai Tesla could ever be born in time!

Try the Americas yeah they don't engage in disease ridden practices like agriculture and livestock.
>>
No. 221839 ID: 5a2e05

Bring Jesus to the new world. It'll be fun.
>>
No. 221840 ID: b34742

just stop the black death from happening. destroy the boat that brought the rats and fleas over.
>>
No. 221845 ID: d3dfb8

Go back to before the black death struck and teach them proper sanitation techniques.
>>
No. 221887 ID: 0a5569

Visit Jesus, punch out Judas.
>>
No. 221894 ID: a594b9

>>221826
Teach people about how the Black Death spreads. It's pretty easy to prevent. Just keep rat populations down (but keep in mind that rats should not be wiped out completely; they're part of the ecosystem!)
>>
No. 221937 ID: a49554

Screw the Americas! Go to Assyria, Mali and the Zulu nation in Africa, give the Afrosaurs what is needed to give them the edge over the Honkeysaurs.
>>
No. 221939 ID: 556fcf

actually only the black rat is susceptible to the plague. the brown rat is much tougher.
so killing all the black rats is fine as then the brown rat will fill in it's spot.
>>
No. 221942 ID: a49554

>>221937
Abyssinia, not Assyria. >>;
>>
No. 221943 ID: 8bdb6a

>>221826
No problem. Travel back fifty years and leave prophecies with a bunch of religious leaders that fleas are evil and will bring about doom unless roman baths are brought back into style.
>>
No. 221968 ID: 4daf66

>>221943
This. If done well, this could even lead to an early Renaissance and/or a return to Roman society/culture.
>>
No. 221990 ID: 283fa9

>>221840
Pfft, that's weaksauce. Instead, you should kill the Mongol warlords who thought that using Black Death infested corpses as WEAPONS OF WAR was a good idea.
>>
No. 252397 ID: 8d7dd2

>>221826
The answer is quite simple. Harsh, but simple. Go back and inform the populace of culling techniques and practices to ensure the disease does not spread.

Let's see how that affects the future. I'm sure it will end up all sunshine and rainbows!
>>
No. 252443 ID: c71597

>>221937
I think you mean Abyssinia. And it's a cool plan. Europe is a fucking dump anyway at this time. Mali is the place to go, they're pretty fucking cool, atleast at this time.
>>
No. 303599 ID: f123de
File 130517772591.png - (78.77KB , 500x500 , P20.png )
303599

>>221828
>>221845
>>221894
>>221937
>>221943
etc
I don't know any ancient languages! I'm not a diplomat! I'm not even a dinosaur!
...but I do have a zapgun!


>>221839
So, um. Let's try this? I guess?
>>
No. 303600 ID: f123de
File 130517782120.png - (129.69KB , 700x370 , P21.png )
303600

All right, I don't really remember why I was doing this but...

What's the plan? He's got, like, a dozen bodyguards!
>>
No. 303601 ID: 0bd0b0

Announce yourself in the manliest way possible.
>>
No. 303602 ID: 0d7a83

pffft just tell him you need him to come with you to save the world. He's a pacifist he'll keep his dudes off you..
>>
No. 303612 ID: ca7bd5

>>303600
"Dude, I fucked up the timeline and now everyone are Dinosaurs. You think your dad could help me fix this?"
>>
No. 303615 ID: 07416a

>>303600
Shoot them all. Burn into the ground "Deus has haud filius."
>>
No. 303618 ID: e2289a

>>303615
What? No! Leave Judas!
>>
No. 303744 ID: 15b51b

We're approaching this wrong. Let's just go back and make it so they develop english instead of whatever dinosaur language they use.

Also make it so the lady folk have breasts. This is very important.

Make it happen!
>>
No. 303752 ID: c71597

>>303600
Eh, just torch the entire place. Then go burn down the Temple as well. Try to get that annoying temple cult out of the way.
>>
No. 303784 ID: cf65c1

Hum... I'm honestly curious what the effects of ending Christianity before it spreads would be, but I'm afraid it would mean that missionary Judaism would take its place and then we'll never get Hitler back alive.
>>
No. 303833 ID: f123de
File 130526306822.png - (87.71KB , 500x500 , P22.png )
303833

>>303601
>>303602
>>303752

I announce myself in a dramatic fashion!

They're shouting in some kind of... dino-Aramaic, I guess? Except the raptor with the glowing head, who politely asks me if his father sent me.

"Come with me! We've got to save THE FUTURE!"
>>
No. 303834 ID: f123de
File 130526319303.png - (106.43KB , 500x500 , P23.png )
303834

>>303752
On the way out I set the big temple on fire. Future generations will thank me! Right?


Goddammit! I forgot - the time machine seats one!
>>
No. 303835 ID: 1854db

Crap. Just tell him what your problem is and ask for advice, instead.
>>
No. 303840 ID: 8c73c8

just adjust the settings and send him back to 10000000 BC.
>>
No. 303842 ID: 7150d8

>>303834

The obvius answer is that one is going to have to sit on the others lap.
>>
No. 303868 ID: 2563d4

>>303834
Go back to the Tesla-future.
Modify the time machine to have a sidecar.
Return to a few seconds after you left here.
>>
No. 303881 ID: c71597

>>303834
Well crap, gonna have to kick him out then, after all, raptor Jesus must go extinct for our sins. And you know, with the temple on fire and the higher priesthood in disarray he's probably not going to get crucified. He's probably got a decent chance at reforming judaism now. Christianity is probably not going to get started now, Paulus might still show up and convert to raptor Jesus little sect, or not. But with the orginal leader intact he's probably not going to be able to push through the reforms he did otherwise.
>>
No. 304140 ID: f123de
File 130535044457.png - (89.81KB , 500x500 , P24.png )
304140

>>303842
...

ADVENTURE!

Ok - ow watch your elbow - where are we going?

Watch the claws! Watch the claws!
>>
No. 304141 ID: 15b51b

Shit just got Bill and Ted.

Tell him you need his help to give dinosaurs breasts. He'll understand. It's what God would want.

We're going to improve the world however we can, by any means necessary.
>>
No. 304153 ID: 2563d4

>>304140
inb4 The Fly
>>
No. 304200 ID: 6d4ea4

I think a Jesus/Tesla team is the most logical way to proceed at this point.
>>
No. 304237 ID: 3e6377

>>304140
We're going TO THE MOON.

Except the moon is actually a dull airless rock so we're actually going to go to Tesla and see what happens if we have dino Jesus and dino Tesla in the same room. Then take dino Jesus back one year after he's meant to have died or resurrected or whatever happens according to whatever branch of Dinostianity you follow.

Then after that, I dunno, go stop yourself stopping the apocalyptic asteroid. Let's hope we get humans again and not squid. Or some sort of insect society beyond fathoming. Or accidentally wake up some elder race that's been hibernating throughout your history and is unleashed within this one.
>>
No. 304241 ID: 28e94e

>>304200
This.
>>
No. 304249 ID: 263430

>>304140
Just a quick jaunt back to the 20th century to see what the new dominant religion is. Then we can see if it's still possible to stage a Second Coming.
>>
No. 304263 ID: f123de
File 130542178756.png - (67.10KB , 500x500 , P25.png )
304263

>>304200
Yes.

Just zip forward and... apparently the Earth is frozen and blackened by fire.

That's not good! What the fuck happened?

Zip back and...
>>
No. 304264 ID: f123de
File 130542194279.png - (123.02KB , 500x500 , P26.png )
304264

999 CE (?), Norway.

Oh. Um. The Norse pantheon became the primary religion in the absence of Christianity and...

Ragnarök?

This... shouldn't be TOO hard to fix, should it? Then we can get back to Tesla!
>>
No. 304270 ID: 07416a

>>304264
Go back to before Loki accidentally seduced the dudes horse and birthed slepnir. Turn that stallion into a gelding so he won't get distracted and the gods lose the bet.
>>
No. 304273 ID: c71597

>>304264
Yeah it should be fixable. Just have to get to Asgard and prevent Loki from making Hoder kill Baldr, and possibly kill the Fenris wolf. First part should be easy, just convince Frigg that she needs to ask mistletoe not to hurt him either, then he would be pretty much invurneable.

Killing the Fenris wolf on the other hand, that one is tough. Beam gun might do the trick, hopefully atleast. Just don't screw up and hit the chains holding him instead, that would be bad, very bad.
>>
No. 304274 ID: 07416a

>>304270
Wait, no, go back to before Baldr was killed and steal the mistletoe. If Baldr is alive then Ragnarok never happens.

"Neither weapons nor trees will injure Baldr; I have taken an oath from them all." The woman asked: "Has everything sworn you an oath to spare Baldr?" Frigg replied: "West of Valhalla grows a little bush called mistletoe, I did not exact an oath from it; I thought it too young."

Or, you know, just tell Frigg to extract an oath from it. Let Jesus chill with them too.
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No. 304293 ID: f123de
File 130542788304.png - (120.46KB , 500x500 , P27.png )
304293

>>304270
>>304273

...I don't remember installing a "MYTHIC" switch on this thing.

---

??? BCE, Bifröst

Ok, so I guess we're gatecrashing this place to go neuter a horse? There's an angry looking guy with a a silly horn and golden teeth staring at us.

Still got the zapgun.
>>
No. 304296 ID: 07416a

>>304293
ABORT. Operation horse-neuter is a no. Let's do that mistletoe thing instead.
>>
No. 304303 ID: f123de
File 130542970303.png - (121.53KB , 500x500 , P28.png )
304303

>>304296

1000 years earlier, Bifröst

WHY DID I THINK THIS WOULD WORK DIFFERENTLY
>>
No. 304305 ID: 07416a

>>304303
Tell him that you hear that there was some non-Baldr-killing swearing going on you felt left out. Also, some asshole mistletoe was plotting.
>>
No. 304323 ID: 365adf

Alright. This guy only hates giants, so we should be okay.
Let's go up to him and tell him the following: "Ahoy there! I have an important message for Odin! Please, could you let us in? I'm not a giant. You can see that by examining my stature. Please let me in?"

As a possible safety measure, we could first go 5 minutes into the future and look for us-shaped piles of guts, to make sure future-past-us didn't die.

Paradoxes? AHAHAHAHA WHAT ARE THOSE?
>>
No. 304338 ID: cf65c1

Wait, wait, is that Heimdal-dino? He's probably drunk but he's pretty effective at keeping shit out. But wait, we have Jesus-dino, he can make every damn thing there is into booze, that should be a sufficient passport.
>>
No. 304345 ID: f123de
File 130545065294.png - (150.53KB , 500x500 , P29.png )
304345

>>304305
>>304323

I explain that we are not giants and he lets us past. Huh.

We get inside and it looks like maybe they're just all idiots. Their idea of a fun Saturday afternoon is watching arrows bounce off of Baldur? I should have let them die off after all.

Not hard to swap out the mistletoe the blind dino was using and we're headed back to the future!
>>
No. 304346 ID: f123de
File 130545114872.png - (81.35KB , 500x500 , P30.png )
304346

...which seems to be postapocalyptic again.

This time around St. Patrick never drove Yig, Father of Serpents, out of Ireland? Reptoids erupted from their subterranean lairs in the late 19th century to wage war on dino-kind! I don't really see much of a difference, but Tesla assures me there is one.

I have a time machine, a sidecar, Jesus and Nikola Tesla, and my trusty zapgun. Anything else that needs to be done before I SAVE THE FUTURE?
>>
No. 304349 ID: 07416a

>>304346
...You know, future is pretty much fucked. Go back to the Greek times, have Tesla and Hayzus chill with the philosophers.
>>
No. 304352 ID: 2563d4

>>304346
Rock concert.
>>
No. 304354 ID: 1963d1

>>304349
>>304352
Combine these two ideas for SCIENCE!
Rock concert in the ancient greek era. Tesla can do the lights and I hear Jesus can play a mean guitar.
>>
No. 304356 ID: c71597

>>304346
Ask Tesla to give you books and blueprints for all his inventions, also let him examine the zap gun and see if he can replicate it. Then go back to a point where he's a young man in his early 20's give him all of that stuff and then go back to this time again.

With Tesla's genius and those plans he should be able to come up with weapons to defeat the reploids. Especially if he has the power of Jebus on his side.
>>
No. 304376 ID: 07416a

>>304356
Do you one better: Dinosaur Da Vinci. Dino Napoleon! I think we should just get a huge group of geniuses and import them to Greece. Then we go ten minutes into the future, grab them all, and go five minutes back so we have MOAR GENIUSES.

It's pretty clear that we're creating and destroying alternate timelines, so it should work. If it doesn't, no loss.
>>
No. 304410 ID: 28e94e

>>304376
oh god this
>>
No. 304456 ID: b00bec

You know why all these problems are popping up? Body thetans. You need to go back a few billion years and kick Xenu's ass!
>>
No. 304484 ID: 15b51b

Tell Dino-Tesla that we'll solve the problem for him by going back in time and defeating that guy he mentioned, but only if he figures out where and how to modify the timeline to make dinosaurs with breasts.

This is non-negotiable!
>>
No. 304487 ID: 07416a

>>304484
Shaddup.
>>
No. 304593 ID: dad664

Why do that when we could just hop into the future, get a bunch of high-tech laserguns and other assorted tech, then hand them off to Tesla and let him take them apart and reverse engineer them.
>>
No. 305439 ID: f123de
File 130587599733.png - (302.14KB , 745x500 , P31.png )
305439

>>304349
>>304352
>>304354

Maybe I've been going about this the wrong way?

If I can't fix the future, I can at least fix the PAST! Yes! Time to start kidnapping the great minds of history!

---

...most of whom don't seem to exist anymore, what with the plagues and zombies and giant nuclear insects. But we've still got enough to start forging a dino-utopia!
>>
No. 305440 ID: f123de
File 130587605384.png - (262.72KB , 690x589 , P32.png )
305440

Best of all, I introduce them to the power of ROCK. Jesus plays a mean guitar!

...but I feel like I was forgetting something.
>>
No. 305441 ID: f123de
File 130587631118.gif - (527.82KB , 800x600 , P33.gif )
305441

21XX

EMERGENCE DAY


Thank you for reading!
>>
No. 305499 ID: 15b51b

We got the good ending.
>>
No. 305505 ID: 28e94e

>>305441
BEST END
>>
No. 305585 ID: 8dbb01

>idiotic meme end
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