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File 125114917685.gif - (42.49KB , 600x600 , 088.gif )
33922 No. 33922 ID: d75539

MOVING ALONG.
Expand all images
>>
No. 33924 ID: 6faa8c

:3E
>>
No. 33925 ID: d75539
File 125114926155.gif - (27.36KB , 600x600 , 089.gif )
33925

You turn to try leave the dining room, but the door is stuck fast! You don't even remember putting a lock on the thing, or if there even was one!!
>>
No. 33927 ID: d75539
File 12511493369.gif - (25.88KB , 600x600 , 090.gif )
33927

Control is switched to XOM.

Xom is amused.

>Now then, as that delightful pair's host for the evening, I wonder whatever i should prepare for them..!
>>
No. 33929 ID: 6faa8c

>>33927
Hmmm~

What indeed.

How about a fun little dungeon adventure!
>>
No. 33930 ID: f98e0b

Your dick in a BOX
your dick in a booox, Xom.
>>
No. 33931 ID: f78140

>>33927
TOE JAM TEA
BECAUSE EVERYBODY LOVES REN AND STIMPY REFERENCES
>>
No. 33932 ID: 1689ab

Lets switch their bodies around.
Or, also amusingly. Switch their genders.
>>
No. 33933 ID: 192956

>>33927
They should be forced to compete in a dance compitition against MC Hammer to the song Hamster Dance.
>>
No. 33934 ID: 1689ab

Also amusing: You could make it so that the bossy blue one has to do whatever the weird pink one says.
>>
No. 33935 ID: 4902ae

>>33932
Both.

Separately, prepare an entire meal of pudding.
With the proper flavors, of course.
Beef pudding.
Gravy pudding.
Water pudding.
Include prizes in some of the puddings.
>>
No. 33937 ID: ed8d8a

prepare them a nice casserole and some chocolate chip cookies. laugh merrily as the prod them suspiciously trying to figure out what is wrong with them.
>>
No. 33938 ID: 6faa8c

>>33934
YES, THIS
>>
No. 33939 ID: bde1b8

Alright.

To sum up the above: Serve them tea that switches their gender, and then send them through a dungeon to turn back. At the end of the dungeon they must dance off against MC Hammer.

And also the tea forces the blue one to listen to the pink one.
>>
No. 33940 ID: 4902ae

>>33939
Additionally, whisper some suggestions to the pink one.
It's no fun if he doesn't use it, you know.
>>
No. 33942 ID: 6faa8c

>>33939
AHAHAHAH!
>>
No. 33943 ID: 1689ab

If they switch bodies and swich genders, doesnt that mean they're still both in their original gender? Whats the fun in that?
>>
No. 33944 ID: 4902ae

>>33943
You're right.
Have both switch at random.
>>
No. 33945 ID: d75539
File 125115010275.gif - (28.72KB , 330x385 , CAPTAINFRE-UCKYOU.gif )
33945

>Reaction upon seeing my internet not only cut out before I started, but before I even finish my update as well.
>>
No. 33947 ID: ed8d8a

>switch bodies
>switch command structure
>switch genders

Man, Xom's idea generation sure is getting boring lately.
>>
No. 33949 ID: 2af4d3

I suggest a classic.

The floor is now lava.
>>
No. 33950 ID: 27cccc

Just make some good tea, speak as if it was something strange, watch them squirm.

Then when they least expect it put a whoopie cushion on their seats.
>>
No. 33956 ID: d75539
File 125115158945.gif - (43.11KB , 600x600 , 091.gif )
33956

>Soon enough, but!

>I haven't the foggiest how you make things in edible edible, you silly mortals and your constant need to eat.. Dwarves make it look so easy.. just waltzing into a kitchen and popping out some masterfully prepared dwarven wine biscuits..

>I wonder how they manage to make a biscuit using nothing but wine without my assistance for that matter.. HA!

>>33929

A fine idea! But after I've finished being their good host~

>>33931

>YOU'VE GOT YOUR REN AND STIMPY IN MY ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE REFERENCE.

>>33933

>M.C. Hammer? I thought he was dead.. and a legless dwarf for that matter, both metaphorically and literally.

>>33934

Oh dear, that wouldn't be sporting at all, I adore my little toys believing they have their own free will, as opposed to that spoilsport Yog. Such a mud in the stick.
>>
No. 33958 ID: 1689ab

>>33956
Just magic some tea up Xom. Or better yet magic someone somewhere into tea and serve them that.
>>
No. 33959 ID: 2af4d3

>>33956
Well why don't you give them the mutation to eat raw meat and just serve that?
>>
No. 33963 ID: f78140

>>33956
so my memory is terrible. the point remains.

as for how to do it, put some water in a pot, apply heat until the water starts bubbling, then scrape some of the stuff between your toes into the water. stir until it's a consistant colour, then put it in cups and give it to them.
>>
No. 33964 ID: 1689ab

>>33963
Good sir, are you implying Xom has stuff between his toes. No No. Xom has toes between his stuff.
>>
No. 33965 ID: 9dd38f

>>33964

So, Xom keeps toes around his genitals? That's disgusting, even for him.
>>
No. 33966 ID: f2de2f

Make cups out of boiled water infused with steeped plant material and fill them with hot porcelain.
>>
No. 33967 ID: 192956

>>33956
You should offer them some carmel turtles with there tea.
>>
No. 33968 ID: cd08c0

>>33956
Xom! Um. Okay, let's just get them really drunk. That's always fun! If they're drunk enough, they won't care what you made. Then we can just throw together anything.
Plus it'll be fun because they're drunk.
I suggest wine, because it's more dapper, and we're trying to be a good host.
>>
No. 33984 ID: dc3ed5

THE RECIPE:
one 18.25 ounce chocolate cake mix
one can prepared coconut pecan frosting
3/4 cup vegetable oil
4 large eggs
one cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine
1 2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 cups all purpose flower
don't forget garnishes such as:
fish shaped crackers
fish shaped candies
fish shaped solid waste
fish shaped dirt
fish shaped Ethel benzine
pull n' peel licorice
fish shaped volatile organic compounds
and sediment shaped sediment
candy coated peanut butter pieces; shaped like fish
one cup lemon juice
alpha resins
unsaturated polyester resin
fiberglass surface resins
volatile malted milk impoundments
9 large egg yokes
12 medium geosynthetic membranes
one cup granulated sugar
an entry called: "How To Kill Someone With Your Bare-Hands"
2 cups rhubarb; sliced
2/3 granulated rhubarb
1 Tbsp all-purpose rhubarb
1 tsp grated orange rhubarb
3 Tbsp rhubarb; on fire
1 Large rhubarb
1 cross Bohr hole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
2 Tbsp rhubarb juice
adjustable aluminum head positioned
slaughter electric needle injector
cordless electric needle injector
injector needle driver
injector needle gun
cranial caps
and it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and oder control chemical's that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.
>>
No. 33985 ID: 192956

>>33984
getting a little GLADOS there.
>>
No. 34054 ID: 895bd3

>>33956
Make them into tea.
Have them drink people.
>>
No. 34074 ID: 6c80cf

>>33956

So, tea and biscuits. Make the biscuits with TIME (or thyme?) and produce tea by boiling catnip.

Feeding them catnip should be amusing.
>>
No. 34077 ID: 67c611
File 125116733938.jpg - (45.03KB , 493x612 , final boss.jpg )
34077

You are so fucked.
>>
No. 34087 ID: 7eda8b

>>33956
>Oh dear, that wouldn't be sporting at all, I adore my little toys believing they have their own free will, as opposed to that spoilsport Yog. Such a mud in the stick.

Well, you could theoretically leave her free will but just leave her forced to do what she's told, as if puppeted.

Not that it'd be interesting since the cat would have no such orders for her.

Also, that's too weird even for Xom.
>>
No. 34128 ID: 1689ab

>>34087
You could make it so that the blue one just automatically thinks everything the pink one says is a good idea. That way free will is still involved... but in a very amusing way.

Or, better yet. Make it so that whatever the pink one says automatically becomes true. Lets see how long it takes them to notice... then switch it around so that everything he says automatically isnt true.
>>
No. 34129 ID: 6faa8c

>>34128
YES YES YES!

AS ALWAYS: WITH SEXY RESULTS
>>
No. 37720 ID: d75539
File 12519940512.gif - (27.63KB , 600x600 , 092.gif )
37720

>Great.. locked in a room, awaiting god knows what that maniac's cooking up (I can hear his laughter from in here..) and Fluffy's been staring at me from across the table ever since I took this hat off.. at least he's being quiet..
>>
No. 37721 ID: d75539
File 125199410673.gif - (34.08KB , 600x600 , 093.gif )
37721

Oh for the love of.. what now?!
>>
No. 37723 ID: ab91ae

>>37721
Answer it!
>>
No. 37729 ID: d75539
File 125199546346.gif - (38.53KB , 600x600 , 094.gif )
37729

Oh, Yog-damni-

Yes..?

>MESHIA. RETURN AS MY PRIEST.

Yog pauses a moment..

>PLEASE.
>>
No. 37730 ID: 09fbb1

>>37729
That guy can go fuck himself. Tell him that.
>>
No. 37737 ID: 92bbc1

>>37729
"Or what?"
>>
No. 37739 ID: d75539
File 125199884693.gif - (38.58KB , 600x600 , 095.gif )
37739

>>37730

Yog isn't nearly so caring about his follower's free will. Even if I'm, for now, godless and generally untouchable, telling any god, especially Yog, to go fuck himself is just asking for it.

>>37737

"Or what?"

>BEHOLD THE FELL TRANSFORMATIONS SUBJECTED TO YOUR BODY ALREADY. YOU NEED MY PROTECTION FROM XOM, DON'T YOU?
>>
No. 37741 ID: 6164e0

>>37739
'....Actually, I kind of like this mutation I got.'
>>
No. 37742 ID: 92bbc1

Oh please. You dont think we can't protect ourselves from him? He's a pushover. Besides, if I got your protection from him then he'll just get mad when he can't mess with us. Better to let him have his little fun and escape mostly unharmed.
>>
No. 37747 ID: e2cbff

>>37739
"I think by now I've stopped caring. Why do you want me back?"

[Is Yog the type of guy to care about random people or does he expect something out of this?]
>>
No. 37755 ID: 43d730

>>37739
What do you get out of it?

Why did you quit the priesthood, anyway?
>>
No. 37756 ID: 7eda8b

>>37739
"I'm not sure if making Xom mad is the best idea right now. Try again later?"
>>
No. 37764 ID: d75539
File 125200390178.gif - (39.71KB , 600x600 , 096.gif )
37764

>>37755

I recall being a bit successful in drawing in followers to Yog, for whatever reason.. when I disappeared, maybe some of the people I'd attracted renounced their faith in him as well. Who knows. Could be he's just trying to keep me out of Xom's 'worship' too. They've got quite a rivalry.

>>37741
>>37747
"These probably aren't the worst mutations I've ever seen, and Fluffy doesn't seem to mind them in the least. Right now, I don't care about them."

>NONSENSE. YOUR BODY MUST BE PURE OF FORM, UNTAINTED BY XOM'S TOUCH. I CAN CLEANSE YOU OF YOUR AFFLICTION.

"Pass."

>>37747

"Why do you want me back anyway?"

>IN TIME, I WISH YOU TO BE MY CHAMPION. FILBERT IS BECOMING UNSUITED TO LEAD THE CAUSE IN MY NAME. HE WILL SOON BE USELESS TO ME AND WILL NEED TO BE SILENCED.

...What did he just say..?
>>
No. 37765 ID: d75539
File 125200394045.gif - (47.29KB , 600x600 , 097.gif )
37765

Oh, what the hell now?

>DON'T ANSWER IT. WE'RE-
>>
No. 37766 ID: d75539
File 125200397866.gif - (54.62KB , 600x600 , 098.gif )
37766

>Meshia, darling, would you like one lump or two~?

"..Xom, what the hell are you wearing..?"

>ABNORMALITY.

>Answer dearie~
>>
No. 37767 ID: 7eda8b

........two?
>>
No. 37771 ID: 43d730

>>37766
Looks like a maid outfit.
And he's serving tea.
That's relatively sane for Xom.
Yeah, also voting two lumps.
>>
No. 37774 ID: d75539
File 125200529515freishax.gif - (62.99KB , 600x600 , 099.gif )
37774

Ow. OW.

>Yog, one lump or two~?

>LEAVE.
>>
No. 37777 ID: ab91ae

>>37774
Well played, Xom. Well played.

Anyway, leave them to their bickering. Lets go see what Fluffy is up to.
>>
No. 37779 ID: 43d730

>>37774
Damn you, instinct to preserve bilateral symmetry.
>>
No. 37781 ID: 7eda8b

Say "Ow! Man, that joke is OLD!"
>>
No. 37787 ID: dcf79e

>>37774
WHAT!
You have one hand too many, dear!
Many cure of mutations won't be so bad after all.
>>
No. 37789 ID: 7eda8b

Looks like four arms.
>>
No. 37796 ID: 6faa8c

DO WE HAVE FORE DAMN ARMS NOW
>>
No. 37813 ID: 43d730

>>37796
We certainly do have forearms now.
In fact, we've had forearms for quite some time.
>>
No. 37814 ID: 6faa8c

>>37813
FOUR. ARGARBLE
>>
No. 37857 ID: 4e0411

>>37774
So is this Yog just a Yog or Yog-Sothoth? Also aren't there any other lawful gods you could worship? Like, say... Tiamat? :3c
>>
No. 37864 ID: cd08c0

>>37764
> I recall being a bit successful in drawing in followers to Yog, for whatever reason..
It's probably because of your giant... uh... no never mind.

Anyway, tell Yog that as kind as it is of him that he wants you back, you're kindof busy doing your own thing.
... but ask about that Filbert thing. That sounds important.
>>
No. 37866 ID: ab91ae

>>37857
You seem unfamiliar with Dorf Quest gods. Yog is the be-all end-all god of Law. The only alternative is Pelor, god of Judgement, and that is really not the same thing.
>>
No. 37895 ID: 67c611

>>37866
If we want alternatives we can side with lawful good or lawful evil. Maybe go true neutral.
>>
No. 37898 ID: 92bbc1

Tell Yog that we'll talk to him about this opportunity later. We're currently guests in our own home and evidently Yog was not invited. We'll discuss things with him later, once the entertaining of guests is over.
>>
No. 51314 ID: f6b265
File 125393180913.gif - (43.44KB , 600x600 , 100.gif )
51314

>>37779

Damn you, instinct to preserve bi-lateral symmetry! Alright, calm down, it won't be any good to go get pissy at the god of chaos..

>>37814
>>37789
>>37813
>>37787

Shut up! I have two arms! Two! I've no idea what you're talking about!

>>37864

..My giant what?

>>37898

"Can we discuss this later..? We're currently guests in our own home, we'll talk with you later, once our gracious 'host' is done entertaining us"

>...VERY WELL.
>>
No. 51330 ID: c42be6

>>51314
Go see what Xom and Fluffy are doing before they get into too much trouble.
>>
No. 51342 ID: 7eda8b

Put your hat on but turn it backwards go give you awareness behind you.

Also, assess this shirt situation. You seem to be running low on shirt.

Say "Xom, that joke was old and hurt. And hurt my feelings."

Make a pouty face. You've seen fluffy do it a thousand times.
>>
No. 51347 ID: 43d730

>>51314
Your giant...
REASONING AND LOGIC SKILLS
>>
No. 51399 ID: 1fb242

You know, you should probably right down some basic facts about yourself. Number of eyes, location of hair, inability to breath fire, that sort of thing. I get the sneaky suspicion Xom may be able to change things in such a way that you accept the change as having allways been there. Best to have something to refer to later, so you can be sure.
>>
No. 51444 ID: 64d98f

>>51314
your giant booooooooobs
>>
No. 51466 ID: 4553b2

>>51347
>>51444
Your giant boobs, now nicknamed Reason and Logic!
>>
No. 51497 ID: 476456

"Now yog, if you'll excuse me, i'm having tea with xom, which may or may not be fatal."
>>
No. 51507 ID: f6b265
File 125397011538.gif - (36.11KB , 600x600 , 101.gif )
51507

>>51330

>Go see what Xom and Fluffy are doing before they get into too much trouble.
>>
No. 51508 ID: f6b265
File 125397014118.gif - (37.99KB , 600x600 , 102.gif )
51508

>>51342
>>51399
Hold that thought. I've a sudden urge to hurt something.

>>51347
>>51444
>>51466
I. WHAT. NONE OF YOU ARE HELPING. AND WHY WOULD YOU IMPLY I WOULD GIVE MY BREASTS A NAME ANYWAY?!
>>
No. 51509 ID: 15f6d6

Call athoritatively to get Fluffy's attention and make him aware of the situation. Make sure he understands that his behavior is unacceptable.
>>
No. 51516 ID: e3c397

>>51509

HIS behavior? He's not the one doing the fondling.
>>
No. 51517 ID: b1e366

Xom is just sitting there watching while Meshia harasses Fluffy. Why would you blame him? You need to stop acting so lewdly in front of your guest!
>>
No. 51536 ID: 1689ab

>>51517
Agreed. How could you? Geeze. Though it's hard to blame you... Fluffy does look so round and soft and so inviting...
>>
No. 51616 ID: 7eda8b

Get all mad and pouty.

Alternately, assist in the creation of a Fluffy sandwich.
>>
No. 51654 ID: 6c80cf

>>51508

Of course you wouldn't! That's why we did it for you.

Alternatively, are you sure that's Xom standing there? She looks rather familiar.
>>
No. 53785 ID: 9c02db

>>51507
join in on that shit
>>
No. 53786 ID: 9c02db

>>51507
join in on that shit
>>
No. 54809 ID: 60106e

Isn't that you fondling Fluffy??
>>
No. 54917 ID: 1689ab

>>54809
Yeah, geeze. Cut it out, there will be time for that later.
>>
No. 56627 ID: f6b265
File 125462766174.gif - (43.47KB , 600x600 , 103.gif )
56627

"St-stop, you're not M-Meshia.."

"Oh ho? What makes you say that?"

"...W-well.. for one.. y-you're not mean enough.."
>>
No. 56628 ID: f6b265
File 125462769390.gif - (46.70KB , 600x600 , 104.gif )
56628

"W-Waah! Mean! Meaaan! Meshiaaaa!"

..Sort of serves him right, but still.
>>
No. 56630 ID: f6b265
File 12546277501.gif - (51.12KB , 600x600 , 105.gif )
56630

>"Oh dear, she was supposed to bring the tea in, not molest your that boy~"
>>
No. 56631 ID: ccb486

>>56630
hey, whatever will entertain the guests.
>>
No. 56634 ID: 6faa8c

>>56630
I'd tell you to backhand Xom, but...
>>
No. 56638 ID: 8e02fe

>>56630

Why don't you join her? It will be a Fluffy Sandwich!
>>
No. 56651 ID: 6faa8c

>>56638
Do it.

Whisper in Fluffy's ear that you'll reward him if he's good.
>>
No. 56731 ID: f6b265
File 125463865875.gif - (62.28KB , 600x600 , 106.gif )
56731

>>56634

HE GETS MORE THAN A BACKHAND.

Xom finds this hilarious!
>>
No. 56732 ID: 8e02fe

>>56731

Awww, just when it was getting good!
>>
No. 56741 ID: 43d730

>>56731
Inspect hands, then go slap yourself.
The other you.
You knew what I meant.
>>
No. 56743 ID: 7eda8b

Give Xom a taste of his own medicine, by which I mean get behind him, nibble on his shoulder, and put your hand up his skirt.
>>
No. 56961 ID: 1689ab

>>56743
This is pretty much the best advice you could follow in this situation.
>>
No. 58107 ID: 6a6a5e

>>56743
That sounds like a really good idea. See if you can make him cry without hurting him.
>>
No. 59407 ID: 1029ae

>>56743
Thirded.
>>
No. 59408 ID: 64d98f

>>59407
I support this because of how hilarious it will be whether it works or fails.
>>
No. 59421 ID: 72139c

Raycaster finds this hilarious!
>>
No. 59488 ID: e75a2f

Wow. Rabbit punched the God of Chaos.
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