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File 131545434458.jpg - (56.61KB , 640x721 , image.jpg )
346477 No. 346477 ID: 801747

"Shit."

Damn that hurts.
Expand all images
>>
No. 346482 ID: 801747
File 131545461355.jpg - (107.10KB , 893x793 , image.jpg )
346482

"What's with the shoddy tilework? I thought dwarves were supposed to be good at that."

Man, and that looked valuable too. Ah well, no skin off my back... face...
>>
No. 346484 ID: f70e5e

oh boy, should i break it to him or should someone else?
>>
No. 346485 ID: 0d7a83

Nice hat.
>>
No. 346486 ID: 2ab266

eh, you win some and you lose some. i am sure there is plenty more where that came from.

also nice hat.
>>
No. 346487 ID: 01db04

holy shit this guy is awesome. I want to be inside of him.

...oh wait.
>>
No. 346488 ID: cfa804

Have you any idea what you've done?! Have you any idea the destruction you've now wrought upon the world?!
>>
No. 346492 ID: c7b6c2

AFTER TEN THOUSAND YEARS, WE ARE FREE! OUR REIGN OF BLOOD SHALL NOW COMMENCE!
YOU! YOU IN THE HAT! YOU WILL BE OUR VESSEL!
>>
No. 346495 ID: 715620

Nice hat.
>>
No. 346496 ID: bd7cc2

That was quite valuable, in fact, and I'm afraid we have a strict "you break it, you buy it" policy. We accept souls, first-born children, and Mastercard.
>>
No. 346501 ID: b6edd6

It broke because that was part of the trap. (You know how dwarves can get with their traps. I know of this one group that captured a goblin so they could use his escape attempts to power a clock. A clock. )

You are now a bit insane, but at least you can (sometimes) see around corners. I hope you like reading NOTES.
>>
No. 346504 ID: 85c25a

search the egg fragments for delicious forbidden - uh, valuable yolk.
>>
No. 346508 ID: 697ba0

>>346501
>I hope you like reading NOTES.

and HUGS. We mustn't forget those.
>>
No. 346509 ID: 1854db

>>346482
What blew up, exactly?
>>
No. 346512 ID: 801747
File 131546077029.jpg - (112.28KB , 893x793 , image.jpg )
346512

What the- "Who's there? Show yourselves!"

I do like my hat, though... No, focus. Damn, why can't I see straight?

"Where are you? I said show yourselves!"

And... trap? What egg? What the hell are they talking about?!
>>
No. 346513 ID: c7b6c2

YOU WORK FOR US NOW, HAROLD.
ASSESS YOUR SITUATION.
>>
No. 346517 ID: 517101

Bad news, we´re inside you. Good news, we´ll help you. Really bad news, you´ll never get rid of us.

Hello Harold, we´re voices in your head. How are you and were the hells are we?
>>
No. 346518 ID: b6edd6

You can't see us because we are in your HEAD, burrowing deep into your BRAIN MEATS.
(Ok, not literally, the magical process vaguely like that.)
>>
No. 346520 ID: 35e1a0

oh it's a VASE!
>>
No. 346522 ID: b335d1

we were sealed inside that vase, and now we're sealed inside you. entirely your own fault, really, so if you're gonna curse, curse at yourself. looks like not all is lost, though: there's some shiny gems on that vase you should grab- they're probably majyyk.

PS: we can hear your thoughts.
>>
No. 346523 ID: 801747
File 131546411315.jpg - (71.26KB , 640x760 , image.jpg )
346523

"Ah, you've heard of me, have you? Well then, no doubt-"

In my head?

"Oh, possession, huh? Yeah, we've all heard stories. Nice try."

Harold glances around as he picks himself up.

"But supposing you're telling the truth, shouldn't you know where we are? This is your shrine."

"...Or not. Yeah, that's a vase."

Hear my thoughts, huh? Well that's always a bit unnerving, so a little proof, eh? How about we have you say "banana pepper bugger nuts" or I'll keep assuming I need to stab someone.
>>
No. 346524 ID: b77699

... I'd think you stabbing someone is preferable to us repeating that
>>
No. 346525 ID: 6a47a5

ananas cinnamon oopsie berries.
>>
No. 346526 ID: 35e1a0

grape salt fuck berries
>>
No. 346527 ID: 9c538a

penis orgasm assfuck testicles
>>
No. 346538 ID: 801747
File 131546871303.jpg - (53.49KB , 760x640 , image.jpg )
346538

Okay, that was... Well, I still don't see anyone to stab but me, so let's just call that close enough. Except that last one.

So, released after 10000 years and you're in my head? You probably already know, but I'll introduce myself. I'm Harold James, freelance archaeologist extraordinaire. If you want to help me, think of ways to make me Baron Harold James like I should be.

And I'll think about getting the hell out of here, because I can't deal with this sober.


And we have work tomorrow, so we'll be going to bed. Back around 7PM PST. Sorry things- whoops, apology is a sign of weakness apparently. See you then.
>>
No. 346539 ID: 35e1a0

well make sure to take those gems. may be able to trade them for booze.
>>
No. 346545 ID: 1854db

>>346538
Sounds like fun. And you know, there's still some gems on that thing that we were in. You could get those out and sell em!
>>
No. 346554 ID: 1cc49b

why the fuck should you be a baron? if anyone, Ishould be a baron!
>>
No. 346570 ID: c7b6c2

WE ARE ALL BARONS NOW!
Ahem. Getting pissdrunk sounds like a fine plan. If you're really in a dwarven... anything really, there should be one or more rooms filled to the brim with insanely expensive alcohol.
>>
No. 346576 ID: 0d7a83

>>346538
>can't deal with this sober.

I like you already Harold.
>>
No. 346622 ID: e2020c

>>346538

Oh excellent! A well doing fine quest now I can rest my drawfag hand. I like you too Harold. Guys, what's the fastest way to barony?
>>
No. 346625 ID: 0d095c

Harold, beware. By breaking that vase you have entered into a contract. You'll become fairly powerful or wealthy, whether in love or money, while the rest of the world comes crashing down in flames.

You just couldn't leave the vase alone, could ya?
>>
No. 346751 ID: 801747
File 131554211741.jpg - (56.50KB , 760x640 , image.jpg )
346751

What, for booze? Gems, right, not my usual gig but they work just fine. That's the most reasonable thing you've said yet.

Sadly, dwarven ale, while legendary for both its flavor and raw power, is not known for aging gracefully. Hundred-year wines are fine, not thousand-year beers. Speaking of wine, though...


Harold takes a swig from his flask.

And why should I be a baron? My father both was a baron and is dead, and I'm an only child. Inherited titles are usually pretty simple.

As to becoming a baron, even if it doesn't happen the usual way... like it didn't in my case... the process is relatively simple. Some higher noble decides you're a baron. The trick is just convincing someone that's worthwhile.

>>
No. 346752 ID: cfa804

I still want to know why you broke our damned vase.
>>
No. 346759 ID: 1854db

>>346751
Why didn't you inherit the title? Were you missing and presumed dead at the time?
>>
No. 346763 ID: 801747
File 131554704347.jpg - (67.68KB , 616x784 , image.jpg )
346763

It's not like that was intentional; I don't make a habit of destroying potentially valuable merchandise. Like one of you said, dwarves are really fond of traps. I had just finished checking the room for any wayward machines of death, but apparently I missed a cracked floor tile.

Harold pauses to let out a long sigh.

...Not one of my finest moments.
>>
No. 346764 ID: 801747
File 131554743009.jpg - (78.18KB , 616x784 , image.jpg )
346764

On the subject of the title, some strange man showed up out of the blue and challenged my father to a duel with the title and land at stake. He accepted, god knows why, and lost. The man sold off the land and disappeared within the month.

I wasn't missing, but I was away at the time and didn't hear it all until I got back. But yeah, these things sometimes happen with duels. Not often, not usually so suddenly and not usually so mysteriously, but they do happen.

>>
No. 346771 ID: f70e5e

ouch, that's one hell of a bad break. well we will do what we can to help you get a noble title. oh I should probably explain what we do. mostly what we do is give advice, we are not that smart individually but there are alot of us and due to a rather strange relationship with time we may have hours or days to make decisions you have only seconds or minutes to make. we also have a strange field of view so we might be able to notice someone sneaking up behind you. we also have access to a large but inconstant knowledge base. for example we know very little if anything about magic or your worlds history. But we could with time and effort help you build say, a mundane flying machine or a powerful explosive.
>>
No. 346772 ID: 87a254

Can you still stab someone for us?
It's just, after being stuck in a jar with no sensory input whatsoever for thousands of years I can't even remember the last time We saw blood.
>>
No. 346775 ID: f70e5e

oh forgot to mention, some of us are crazy. just in case you hadn't noticed already.
>>
No. 346785 ID: 801747
File 131555255674.jpg - (87.74KB , 616x784 , image.jpg )
346785

Personally, I like to avoid stabbing people when possible, though there are times when it's unavoidable. My weapon of choice is useful for all kinds of other things, plus it looks really intimidating.

Now excuse me a moment...


"Hrnnng!"

Anyway, that actually sounds quite useful, if somewhat distracting... but a few of you keep talking about contracts, reigns of blood, the world ending in flames... That sounds pretty terrible and I hope those are the crazy ones. If not, is that set in stone or can we avoid that somehow? Because either way it sounds like we'll be stuck together for a while, and I'd rather not profit too much at the expense of others.

I'm okay with some of that, though. That is sort of my gig. I'd tell you not to mention that, but... ok, I guess I am assuming you're telling the truth now.


Sorry for showing up late tonight, guys. Aimed for 7:00, hit more like 9:00. And once again, work tomorrow. We'll definitely be back next Wednesday night, but if we're lucky we'll be able to pop in sooner than that.
>>
No. 346786 ID: c7b6c2

B-but
I want my reign of blooooooood :<

So, you just kind of blocked off the way to the entrance, there. Good job.
>>
No. 346787 ID: 87a254

The fact We are here means something big is gonna happen soon, what it is We don't know yet, sorry.
>>
No. 346788 ID: f70e5e

mostly they are trying to be funny. though us turning up is something of an ill omen. i give about fifty fifty odds of some world shaking event either occurring or needing to be stopped within the next year or so. but we'll cross that bridge if we come to it. for now could you give us a run down of what your capabilities and some basic information about your world. basic benchmark questions are is there magic?, if so how common is it?, what are the common weapons of war?, what do people use for long distance travel and communication?.
>>
No. 346794 ID: 87a254

I have some questions too!
What are your sexual preferences?
Whats your favourite type of clothing?
Do you have any pets?
Would you try on female clothing if urged by old perverted head voices?
What is your middle name
Where did you get such an awesome hat?
Can we visit a brothel?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
>>
No. 346795 ID: 1854db

>>346785
Wait. That's your weapon? What IS it?
>>
No. 346808 ID: 2f6b32

Oh god tell me you have another spare hat. With some of the more...hot-headed of us here, that one ain't lasting much.
>>
No. 346821 ID: 6ab7fd

>>346785
Let me give you the run down, because this isn't the first time this has happened.
1. Someone finds us.
2. We wake up and become attached to them.
3. We help the host get money/power/laid.
4. Really bad/weird shit starts happening.
>>
No. 346836 ID: be1d1c

...what are you doing?
>>
No. 346842 ID: f71e3b

so, what brings you to our shrine anyhow? is it customary to earn a barony by pillaging? come on man, start acting the part.
>>
No. 346844 ID: b6edd6

By weapon you mean the halberd, right, not that tube (as some sort of massive projectile launcher)?

In either case, you do have a dagger or two, right? A backup for close quarters is something you almost never regret.

>>346842
I'll have you know pillaging is an ancient and time honored tradition of nobility.
>>
No. 347204 ID: b6ca92

Couple a facts you oughta know, Baron Harold James.
>we are permanently sexually repressed, due to having a libido but having no output for it due to being ghostly. This fuels much of our madness and drive for our hosts to get laid.
>we are excellent at number-crunching and making profit.
>we do not like slavery or serfdom.
>if you put your foot down about something or another we keep bothering you about, we will go with your wishes with little distress, except for one or two hanger ons.
can you hear this?
>>
No. 348043 ID: 801747
File 131588392931.jpg - (66.54KB , 640x616 , image.jpg )
348043

You're asking me if there's magic? Ok... Magic is reasonably common, though many believe it's not as powerful as it was in days of old and I tend to agree.

Common weapons include... well, it depends on what you're trying to do. Swords, axes... knives, clubs... pikes, spears... bows, crossbows... There are more ways to kill people than I can even count, let alone remember. Magic isn't used as much in war as it once was. Ballistae and cannons are a lot more cost-effective than war mages.

Long distance travel and communication are limited to horses, carriages, and telegraph for all but the wealthy, and even those aren't cheap.

>>
No. 348059 ID: 1854db

>>348043
Magic isn't used much in warfare? What about invisibility, illusions, giant growth, raising the dead, all that kind of thing?
>>
No. 348066 ID: cfa804

What exactly is it that you're carrying around with you there?
>>
No. 348072 ID: 801747
File 131588677624.jpg - (39.04KB , 784x616 , image.jpg )
348072

This is a pillar I used to wedge open a trap. I'd leave it there, but I need it to get back across this pit. My weapon of choice is my halberd... guisarme-voulge... bardiche.... glaive?......

Well, whatever it's called, it is quite useful. And yes, I have some knives, too, and a crossbow for long range. I prefer not to kill people, but in this business one has to be practical.

Speaking of which, I thought you'd have figured out why I came here. I told you I was a freelance archeologist. There's quite a bit of history down here, and just because it's priceless doesn't mean I can't sell it for something.

>>
No. 348075 ID: cfa804

You ought name your weapon so that when someone asks you what it is you can just say "This is Amelia" or something. It ought have a female name, to note.
>>
No. 348076 ID: b6edd6

Is that pillar that you have been casually hauling around made of solid stone? (And even if it is wood, the pillar has got to be heavy if it is solid enough to hold a trap open.)
Are you naturally that strong or do you have useful magic items as well as now having us?
>>
No. 348133 ID: f70e5e

now that is odd. in most worlds you don't start to see telegraphs until well after steam power(when water turns to stem it expands, and you can harness that expansion as a power source with the right techniques) and riffles(small very accurate hand held cannons). are mages in any way used to operate the telegraphs?
>>
No. 348180 ID: eee8d8

>>348075

this. also, repeat after me:

this is my halberd. there are many like it, but this one is mine.

my halberd is my best friend. tt is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

my halberd, without me, is useless. without my halberd, I am useless. I must swing my halberd true. I must swing straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must cut him before he cuts me. I will...
>>
No. 348185 ID: 801747
File 131589749492.jpg - (38.51KB , 784x616 , image.jpg )
348185

Y'know, naming my weapon is a really good idea. It gives it personality, which gives me personality. So, Amelia, huh? I'll need a story for her. Can you guys handle that for me?

Yep, this thing is solid stone. My bracer is connected to a tree outside. It won't work for too much longer, but this should be the last time I need it in here.

Steam never seemed terribly effective to me, but it's out there. Not sure why you'd need it for a telegraph, though; that's just two linked books. Not operated by a mage, usually, but they make and maintain them.

And I never said magic wasn't used much in war, just not as much, and for good reasons. Illusions are just as easily countered as they are created. Training soldiers is so much simpler than making zombies or golems, and constructs are stupid to boot. Magical tools and weapons aren't rare, but they mostly show up when some noble takes a liking to a war hero... or tries to make himself out as one.

...and I like Amelia, here, but I don't like her that much.

>>
No. 348186 ID: f70e5e

steam power can be used to generate electricity (basically tamed lightning) and electricity is whats most telegraphs we have seen use. though it sounds like what you have is something entirely diffident. just so you know if you ever find your self with a month or two to kill we could probably help you invent something that would be worth a decent amount of money. but for now what can you tell use about this ruin?
>>
No. 348187 ID: 35e1a0

now see, saying "constructs are stupid" and assuming always that will result in a SMART one showing up and kicking you ass. never tempt fate.
also constructs don't HAVE to be war only. you could program one to till a field and it will do that until told to stop. and since it never needs to sleep and never slows down it will get a HUGE area of land ready. so you can get more food then regular folk alone ever could. and with a constant demand for constructs that can work the ones who make them will start actively making them better so that eventually they can run the farm alone. and outfit them with good self defence they would never be taken by a raider.

anyway, Amelia. what FACTS would other people know about her? don't want someone showing up and calling us out on the story because they know the truth.
>>
No. 348190 ID: cfa804

Best way to talk about Amelia is to have someone ask about it. Or rather, her. Y'know, like "So what kind of weapon is that, there?" And that's when you smile in a kind of not-right manner and say "Oh this? This here's Amelia. I tell ya, friend, when I first saw her... well it was love at first sight. And more than one man's tried to get between her and me, but, well, let's just say that Amelia's kisses aren't too pretty."

Also what're you talking about in regards to your bracer? Connected to a tree? You need to elaborate and/or explain.

Also, let's cut it with the euphemistic lingo. By 'freelance archaeologist' you basically mean a treasure hunter, a tomb raider, thing like that? Don't worry about us blabbing any secrets. It doesn't look as if we're bound to any physical object so it's not as if we might end up in the heads of the next person you wander up to. Or maybe we might. Hard to say, really.
>>
No. 348197 ID: eee8d8

have you found anything around here that might tell us something about ourselves? because I for one don't have a goddamn clue.
>>
No. 348770 ID: 0acf00

>>348186
You want me to break out Maxwell's equations for that? Because I totally will.
>>
No. 348796 ID: 0d095c

Mages. Pah. We're better than mages in the long term. Mages wither, die, lose priceless knowledge, and have a tendency to go completely batshit.

We know anything you need to know about how to make machines that could replace magic easily. Any time you wanna overthrow the mage's communication monopoly? Just call us...
>>
No. 348831 ID: 84b916

>>348796
Bah, you are too optimistic. Technology's place is in infrastructure and support, but Magic is where the real money is at. The biggest commissions from the governments and wealthy private groups won't go to the project that will provide instantaneous results five years into the future, but the one that provides really fast results in the now.
>>
No. 348835 ID: f70e5e

>>348831
the real smart move is to use both. technology works great on its own and so does magic but baring some sort of tech disruption rule in the local magic system (more common than one would think) technology and magic work very well together.
>>
No. 348894 ID: d6fdce

>>348835
If the magic is rules driven and not memetically sympathetic or totemic, or some bullshit that isn't based on an overall set of rules.
>>
No. 348899 ID: b6edd6

>>348894
Enchanted items (like that glove he has) are already a form of technology (as devices made using known principles to perform specific functions).
"Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from science!"— Agatha Heterodyne
>>
No. 348966 ID: 801747
File 131606824405.jpg - (78.26KB , 784x616 , image.jpg )
348966

Bringing magic down a couple notches and breaking monopolies sounds great in theory, but it's not likely to get me a good name with anyone that has actual power. Most nobles don't take kindly to the undermining of the status quo unless it gives them a better position. Since I'm trying, in theory, to get into someone's good graces, we should table that idea for now.

And my bracer? Well, it's an interesting one. Now, I can't really explain how the magic works. I know how to use magic items, not how they work. However, I understand the mechanics of it: I find a good-looking tree, and then I, my horse, and my mule pull on it and bend it. Then I hook up the tree to this rod that's the other side of the bracer, magically. The bent tree pulls against that, and the bracer converts that pull into force when I need it. Just eventually, the tree rights itself and it stops working.

>>
No. 348979 ID: b265bf

...so it stores force?
>>
No. 348983 ID: 35e1a0

could make you a mobile bendable rod. would let you use it anywhere. and perhaps last a lot longer then a tree
>>
No. 349005 ID: 801747
File 131607338064.jpg - (85.40KB , 784x616 , image.jpg )
349005

In terms of where we are, this is a dwarven fortification from a long time ago. From the stories, it seems that it was on the losing side of an orcish siege. The dwarves inside couldn't get out to get more supplies, and eventually starved to death in here. However, the place was so booby-trapped that the orcs couldn't get in either. Accordingly, this place got a reputation of being impenetrable. The only people crazy enough to try to get in weren't smart enough to not get themselves killed. Until I showed up.

Unfortunately I don't know much about you all. The room you were in was some sort of shrine, which isn't that unusual in a fort like this. However, the artifact you... were in?... didn't look dwarven. In fact, I didn't really recognize the workmanship at all. That's part of why it looked so valuable. So yeah, I definitely screwed up, there. The room itself might have had some information, but I'm not exactly fluent in old dwarven script.

>>
No. 349006 ID: 35e1a0

you know, this may be easier if we make some high explosives and just destroy the traps.
>>
No. 349012 ID: 1854db

>>349005
Didn't you come through this room already? Why check the traps again? Oh, I guess maybe you didn't memorize the positions. That's kindof hard since there are so many tiles, and it looks like you don't have anything to mark them with.

...how did you pass through this room before? It looks like if you step on *any* of the tiles that activate the trap, the whole room fills with whirling death. Since you can't test all the tiles from safety... well, how do you know where to step?
>>
No. 349013 ID: 801747
File 131607446116.jpg - (84.64KB , 784x616 , image.jpg )
349013

Go, go, go!

Ok, uh, bracer… doesn't store force exactly, the tree does. The bracer and the rod outside just… transfer that. Something else to store the force would… well I use a tree so I don't need to bring anything more.

And yeah, this room is a fun one. Every tile is a pressure plate. Goddamned dwarves. They probably had a way around or something, some other halls are caved in. Running while it's resetting works, though.

No blowing stuff up. It just complicates everything. With things like cave-ins.

>>
No. 349015 ID: b265bf

you should try storing force in Amelia.
>>
No. 349021 ID: b8fde1

>>349013
That... That is totally something I would have ordered dwarves to do.
Maybe we were their leaders or something?
>>
No. 349022 ID: 1854db

>>349021
That's crazy enough to be true.
>>
No. 349026 ID: c57663

guys, guys, guys, we are an adventurer in dwarf fortress.

we are going to die
>>
No. 349032 ID: d97c6d

>>349021
>>349022
No, no, if we were their leaders we would have been having them rig up rooms with outrageous amounts of explosiv- wait, the cave-ins. You know, you might be on to something here.
>>
No. 349140 ID: 0acf00

Honest question: Which is more important to you: Power or Title? Because honestly with the application of tech and magic nobility will eventually become... obsolete unless there are some extenuating circumstances. You may want to aim for being rich, therefor powerful, without the title.
>>
No. 349141 ID: b6edd6

Who uses Giant Axe Blades? Large Serrated Disks are where it is at. (Or Menacing Spikes. You can never have too many Menacing Spikes.)

So force on the anchor becomes force on the glove. What if you attached the anchor to the glove, so force pushing downwards on the glove is transferred to force pushing upwards on it?
>>
No. 349143 ID: 0acf00

Wait, force transfer? Get a huge spring. Compress it with the glove action. Clamp spring close. Bam! Uber punch at your beck and call when you release the spring. Only down side is potential shattering of bones.
>>
No. 349388 ID: 84b916

>>349026
>dwarf fortress
Well, in that case let's just hope no Demons are on the prowl.
Say, Harold, you haven't seen any... Adamantium around, have you?
>>
No. 350615 ID: 801747
File 131649714118.jpg - (85.19KB , 616x784 , image.jpg )
350615

You know, a lot of these ideas for storing and using force with my bracer have some serious problems. I don't really use it for striking things since I broke my wrist about half a year back. People aren't really able to withstand impacts like that, whichever side of the hit we're on. A spring could work, but that's basically why I use a tree. Same sort of thing but I don't need to carry it around. If I got one that's tuned just right, though, that could be-
>>
No. 350616 ID: 801747
File 131649724147.jpg - (78.82KB , 688x784 , image.jpg )
350616

"Wait, what the hell? You mean you bastards are to blame for this gigantic underground death trap? Why would you even do that? You don't expect me to believe this was practical, do you?"

Wait, no, this is good. If you ordered them to build this stuff, you can tell me where-
>>
No. 350617 ID: 35e1a0

JUMP BACK HALF A STEP!
>>
No. 350618 ID: 801747
File 131649733826.jpg - (92.23KB , 688x784 , image.jpg )
350618

"Ffffffff-"
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No. 350625 ID: 35e1a0

now THAT was pure bad luck.
and we know the general reasoning behind the way these things are built but not an exact blueprint. a very well made fort could have items of such power that a single one is worth more then a king's ransom. talking artifact adamantite swords studded with gems and menacing with spikes that can cut a demon in half like a hot knife through butter. so yeah, they sometimes have things that need this much security.
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No. 350627 ID: 1854db

>>350618
Jeez, are you okay?

We're saying we may have told these guys to put traps everywhere and in crazy ways but we don't remember anything so this is in fact pretty useless conjecture!

But yeah, stonefall traps in front of doors is pretty smart. Or that could've been luck I guess.
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No. 350628 ID: 9dd68b

That was the worst stonefall trap I've seen yet. If a REAL dwarf made that trap, it would have brought the entire building down on you. Uh, not that we'd know. Haha.

Are you okay? That looked like it hurt.
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No. 350629 ID: d97c6d

Only ONE brick? Either this place is falling apart or that was just a distraction.
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No. 350640 ID: cfa804

People here are talking out of their asses. They're making assumptions based off of what you told us but we really don't know anything more about ANYTHING other than EXACTLY what you've told us. Maybe some of these theories turn out to be correct but we don't actually know shit, we just have a thousand voices each mapping out various possibilities... one of them is bound to be correct. A broken clock is right twice a day and all that.
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No. 350647 ID: f70e5e

ouch man you might want to get yourself checked for some sort of bad luck curse.

as for your question if we created this place, we are a small number of voices drawn from a very large pool. they might have had something similar to what you have but with a different set of voices. though we probably are similar enough that I can take a stab at there reasoning. depending on when the traps where built its possible they were meant to deny the orks any meaningful gain from there victory. or it could have simply been the last bunch of crazy head voices focusing on one thing. we don't have quite the same connection to reality as normal creatures so sometimes we do stuff that is kinda crazy. usually our host keeps that in check. but if the last group of voices was tied to say, a mad architect. you would get something like a sprawling death maze.
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No. 350679 ID: b6edd6

>>350628
Actually, dwarven stone-fall traps are kind of useless like that. Those are not to be confused with cave-in traps, which drop the entire ceiling and can kill pretty-much anything.
In any case, I know I wasn't in charge of these traps, as giant axe blades are inefficient and slightly tacky.
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No. 354073 ID: 801747
File 131735625865.jpg - (61.77KB , 688x784 , image.jpg )
354073

"Hrrrnnngg"

Yeow! Well, thanks for the warning I guess. Would have been helpful indeed. Looks like I'll have to start learning when to listen to you. Massive labyrinthine fortress filled with wonders of mechanical death, and I get tripped up by a broken tile and a loose brick.

Jeera's Hairy Uncle that hurts...

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No. 354085 ID: c7b6c2

Any time. We don't actually know what happens when our host dies, so we'll make sure to keep an eye out for anything else.

So, you're okay, right? It hurts to get something like that dropped on your head. I think.
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No. 354089 ID: 35e1a0

peek into the hole it left. maybe there is a reason it came loose?
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No. 354118 ID: cfa804

Don't you talk about Jeera's Hairy Uncle like that. He's a fine man and you should be ashamed of yourself for insinuating... whatever it was that you just insinuated.
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No. 354139 ID: 801747
File 131736130989.jpg - (59.64KB , 688x784 , image.jpg )
354139

I think I'm all right, but give me a moment... Doesn't feel like a break, but it sure is bleeding like a head wound... I should put this away.

I don't actually believe in Jeera, that's just one of my favorite blasphemies. I didn't mean to offend any possible friends of her uncle.

And... the hole? Sure, I guess there could be something there, it is a bit hard to see past my hat. Let's have a look.

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No. 354141 ID: 801747
File 131736148582.jpg - (60.66KB , 688x784 , image.jpg )
354141

Dink.
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No. 354148 ID: 1854db

>>354141
It would be just like us to make a trap that starts with a single brick and then dumps the whole ceiling on you.
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No. 354168 ID: bf95d9

Yeah... I think it would be best if you leave quickly and carefully, before the lava shows up
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No. 354170 ID: 35e1a0

MAGIC RING!!
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No. 354245 ID: cfa804

You see what happens when you speak ill of Jeera's Uncle? The gods call you a Dink.
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No. 354261 ID: e2020c

>>354141

WATCH OUT IT'S A STONE-FALL TRAP
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No. 354267 ID: 0d7a83

Trap rule #7: When in doubt, roll left.
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No. 355755 ID: 801747
File 131770804193.jpg - (71.74KB , 688x784 , image.jpg )
355755

Left. Move. OK.

Uh... It doesn't look like the ceiling is going anywhere. Or if it is, not anytime soon.

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No. 355756 ID: b6edd6

But there is a SHINY. Get ye SHINY.
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No. 355758 ID: 35e1a0

sweet. i guess it wasn't a trap, just a loose brick because something was behind it. check it out.
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No. 355760 ID: 1854db

Oh, that was a RING that fell on your face. Not a rock. I suppose you got some instant karma from being hit on the fucking head.
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No. 355768 ID: 801747
File 131771377764.jpg - (66.58KB , 784x688 , image.jpg )
355768

Well, it definitely looks like a ring, magic or not, so it's bound to be of some value. Especially if a dwarf hid it in the ceiling.

But I like the idea of leaving. We're just about there now.

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No. 355773 ID: 35e1a0

cool. also be careful. it could be cursed. but i doubt it.
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No. 355781 ID: 1854db

Know any way to identify rings? I guess it could just be a mundane ring.
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No. 357401 ID: 801747
File 131830877629.jpg - (99.16KB , 838x653 , image.jpg )
357401

Well, of course. Never done a magical item without knowing what it does. That's, uh, Rule #3 I think.

Alright, one last room.
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No. 357403 ID: b6edd6

I will be surprised if that grate goes not slam down once you go through it.
Still, it looks like the only route available.
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No. 357404 ID: cfa804

Yo ho, yo ho, it's off to town we go~
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No. 357413 ID: 801747
File 131831310751.jpg - (106.11KB , 838x653 , image.jpg )
357413

Oh, don't worry about the grate. This is the front door. Theoretically there's a guard that lets you through. That means there's always someone to man the fort and nobody can get past here without permission. There's nobody around, so I had to let myself in.

Of course, there are other ways in. This is just the safest.

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No. 357414 ID: 35e1a0

yes, put it a little too close to the bars, but still the idea is sound.
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No. 357425 ID: 801747
File 131832023130.jpg - (183.92KB , 1054x869 , image.jpg )
357425

"Ah, fresh air."

You guys seem to be getting quieter, or less numerous at the very least. Do you think that has something to do with us leaving? Or did some of you get stuck in my hat somehow?
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No. 357426 ID: 801747

Well, that concludes Chapter 0 of So You Want To Be A Baron. We'll start up Chapter 1 some time within the next week. Still not entirely sure whether anyone else is enjoying this, but we're having fun and that's all that matters.
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No. 357427 ID: 35e1a0

it's an activity thing. most only appear when you look like you could use the advice or if they have questions. navigating a door you already used isn't much of a advice area.
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No. 357429 ID: 1854db

>>357426
I like the characterization.
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No. 357449 ID: 13c92d

>>357426
I like it and have been watching with interest. I'll admit however, I generally don't begin suggesting in a quest's first chapter for fear the author will get bored within a few frames and abandon it.

Also, may I say, art is quite detailed for usual /quest/ fare, this pleases me.
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