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File 131787263139.png - (16.16KB , 600x600 , 95.png )
356249 No. 356249 ID: c811c4

Greetings, everyone! Still recently formed Chaos God here. Life has been fairly quiet as far as my job goes, at least on Muo's side of things. It's cool, I gave her some time off, but she's playing it small. Hardly enough to be worth my time, so we're going to give her a mission elsewhere. I'm pretty bored of her hanging around the slime caves all the time.

Let's give her a little more to go with though then "HEY CAUSE CHAOS SOMEPLACE", hm? Let's choose an area she'll focus on.
Expand all images
>>
No. 356251 ID: c811c4
File 131787270449.png - (51.00KB , 2558x817 , 96.png )
356251

There are 3 targets I can think of. Plenty more targets that Muo can mess with, but the lizardmen are already in fine disarray, and the Naga down there, well, there just isn't much of a civilization to screw with! So on and so forth, so here's a few I'm interested in.

Elven Retreat - Elves. Muo talked to her sidekick about it, and apparently they live in trees that are magically formed, during growth, to make adequate housing. They actually hate anything artificially made out of wood. Also, Muo insists that her elf friend was an exception, and that he told her they were proud and haughty to a fault, to a point that it is impossible to exaggerate.

Goblin Tower - Muo informs me there's a cave path that leads underground to the bottom entrance of a goblin tower co-led by a pair of demons. Awesome. That's all she knows, as the goblins usually keep overground.

A Dwarven Fort - On the opposite side of the mountain we have a fortress of dwarves. They practically export shenanigans, but still manage to be a simmering pot of explosive drama.

So! What would you say is the best target for Muo's mayhem?
>>
No. 356252 ID: 35e1a0

goblin tower first, we make them atatck the dwarves. then we convince the dwarves it was the elves' fault! MUHAHAHAHA
>>
No. 356253 ID: 715620

Dorf fort: A little TOO easy. Just run around killing pets and pulling levers. Way too simple.

Goblin Tower: Pfft. Already chaotic enough.

Elf home: Oh man. OH MAN. A chance to stick it in the face of elf stuckupishness and make them look like fools? DO WANT.
>>
No. 356254 ID: 4e3f8c

I think we messed with the dorfs enough when we made the booze waterfall, albeit in a separate dimension/universe/state of existence.

I vote for Goblins. They have explosives.
>>
No. 356255 ID: c811c4
File 131787315853.png - (13.64KB , 600x600 , 97.png )
356255

>>356252
I like, I like! This is now Option #4, available for voting.
>>
No. 356256 ID: 1854db

>>356255
What's that wine made of?

I say we go yank around the elves.
>>
No. 356257 ID: f70e5e

i'd say either elves or dwarves with the mission of establishing diplomatic relations. I know that short term the plan of trying to get people to stop treating the slimes like monsters won't generate as much chaos as starting a war, but the last chaos god lost his job more or less for being too much of a dick. besides if you make a point of actually helping those who follow you, you get more followers.
>>
No. 356258 ID: 35bcde

Goblins.
>>
No. 356259 ID: e3f578

>>356256
He's about to lay Minci while he does his job of course, like a real professional. Making it all romantic with the wine and all, you dig? It wouldn't be much trouble seeing him also set up a nice candle set and chaotic turkey dinner.

You know what would make that turkey dinner more tasty? Chaos. Choas to those prudish elves. Who apparently will use arrows made from trees artificially, unless they grow arrow trees that grow 'em like fruit.
>>
No. 356262 ID: d49627

>>356252
Can it be considered chaotic when (while disorderly) it is already the natural order of things?
>>
No. 356263 ID: 78b9fc

Could get some more followers from the goblin tower. Nothing wins over the heart of a goblin more than a giant orgy of chaos.

But as for option #4 how on earth would we convince dwarves that goblins are elves?
>>
No. 356264 ID: 35e1a0

>>356262
ah, but it is not. they are all waiting for the chance to strike that will never come.
>>
No. 356265 ID: 35e1a0

>>356263
nono, say the goblins attacked BECAUSE of the elves.
>>
No. 356266 ID: e4003e

>>356263
nah see. we convince the dwarves that the elves convinced the goblins to attack them.
>>
No. 356270 ID: 44766a

Option #4
>>
No. 356271 ID: a2fa74

>>356255
So, Tom, how's Chee doing?
Also, have you deputized Minci as a lesser goddess of chaos or something?

Also, you need to set up a chaos bureaucracy that runs everything for you just so you can proceed to completely ignore it and cause whatever hijinks you want.
>>
No. 356272 ID: b1f0e2

Option 4
>>
No. 356274 ID: c7b6c2

Option 4 all the way.
>>
No. 356279 ID: 29e6ea

Gimme option 4
>>
No. 356284 ID: 84b916

Option 4, and we can get the Goblins to ally with the Slimes because Chaos, and on the other side we have the Dwarves liking the Slimes because they don't like the elves, especially since Muo will be in the fray.
>>
No. 356286 ID: 1aba78

We must option four do.
>>
No. 356287 ID: 6ea376

Yes!

Most-Chaos option is best option.

Therefore, Option 4.
>>
No. 356290 ID: f70e5e

we should sound out how our follower feels about this. she likes us right now but she seems like the sort to have a problem with being used to cause the kind of mass deaths a war would bring.
>>
No. 356292 ID: 72d8c7

#4 looks more like God of War territory.

How about we take a less conventional definition of chaos, and grant the goblins a way to make a super-brew that no dorf could resist, give the elves a gadget/explosive no goblin could ignore, and the dwarves an impossible eco-friendly craft no elf could deny.
>>
No. 356293 ID: 1854db

Hmm, you know, if this DOES spark off an actual war, it would be kindof bad. Isn't that sort of thing why the previous God of Chaos got put to bed?
>>
No. 356298 ID: c811c4
File 131789517136.png - (14.68KB , 600x600 , 98.png )
356298

>>356256
No idea what wine it is. It's for Minci.

>>356271
No idea how Chee's doing either, no one around her has found any shrines. As for Minci, well, no. She's pretty peaceful. It's a shame, she'd be pretty good at it, I think! Ah well, she's the consort of the Chaos God, that's pretty good.


As for the main reason I'm showing my mug again, I'm telling you guys that I will aim to keep the things relatively salvageable between the dwarves and elves, if Muo actually tries to pull off #4.

The idea would be to hit that middle ground where some elves and dwarves want war, and some won't. Maximize the conflict of interest and all that, and get a lot of fighting about war! If they all agreed to go to war, well, it's a bit too simple, and if they annihilate one another, that'll end in the least chaos. Dead factions don't stir.

Anyways, don't let me get in the way, the voting is still going on.
>>
No. 356300 ID: 6180c0

Hi Minci!

Well, if I recall correctly, Dwarf territory is right next door to Chee's encampment. Maybe Muo could build a shrine for you to help expand or whatever.
>>
No. 356311 ID: e3f578

you know in this real world the focus is more than just our continent, there's other places that were the original real world before the gods rewrote it to have our fake world in the real one. Muo could be on either and the dwarven territoy could be on the other side of the planet from Chee.

For fighting about having a war, we need to sow friendly threads between the dorfs and elves, then make the powerful snotty noble dwarfs who generally command the others hate the elves, same with the elves so they'll be some infighting.
>>
No. 356321 ID: d49627

>>356292
I like the idea of turning the elves' water supply to high quality booze.
>>
No. 356324 ID: 3ec596

option 4, yo.
>>
No. 356356 ID: 1854db

>>356298
Man, you've really got this chaos thing down. I wonder if they'll reconsider having Chee take the job? I guess it depends on if she's still reluctant to take up the mantle after her mortal life is over. Also, tell Minci we said hi! Give her a hug for us!

I still just want to mess with the elves. Option 4 is ambitious, so much that I don't have the foggiest notion how we'd pull it off.
>>
No. 356365 ID: 35bcde

Option 4 isn't even an option. It's a plan of what to do when we choose option 2 wth.
>>
No. 356369 ID: 46c430

I'm in favor of screwing with the elves, yeah. So, option 4, or option 1.
>>
No. 356372 ID: 7f6643

option 4
>>
No. 356379 ID: c811c4
File 131793889193.png - (16.75KB , 600x600 , 99.png )
356379

>Hug Minci

>>356300
As was mentioned, there's a whole wide world outside of Chee's island. It could be around the dwarf fortress, but most likely not.

>>356365
The way I see it, it's "all of the options, starting with number 2."

It's decided, then! Option 4. No, I have no idea how we - Muo - is going to pull that off. That's no biggie, I like to see people try stuff just as much as people succeeding! So, let's go check on how she's doing.
>>
No. 356380 ID: c811c4
File 131793892262.png - (10.47KB , 600x600 , 100.png )
356380

Oh, good, she's already up. Not awake, but up.
>>
No. 356381 ID: c811c4
File 131793894697.png - (10.63KB , 600x600 , 101.png )
356381

"MUO WAKE UP I HAVE A MISSION FOR YOUUU."

>"AHHHHHHH"

"Haha. But seriously, mission. Go to the goblin place, get them to attack the dwarves, and tell them the elves made them do it."
>>
No. 356382 ID: c811c4
File 131793899036.png - (9.44KB , 600x600 , 102.png )
356382

>"Um, what?! That's insane!"

"That's why it's a great idea."

>"Well, how am I supposed to do that?"

"Hey, I'm just the spectator that throws you a bone now and again. And there's no idea bone."

>"I'll... try?"

"That's the spirit."
>>
No. 356384 ID: c811c4
File 131793911711.png - (10.38KB , 600x600 , 103.png )
356384

Later...

>This is it, the last stretch of tunnel that goes to the Tower's basement. Oh, and I'm going to absorb the necklace for now to hide it, because I don't know what they think of chaos subjects.

>"Ey! Don't get too close, slime. We don't have a tourism encouragement program in place, if you catch the drift." the male goblin says.
>"Told ya we'd see some creatures crawling around out of their element after that lizard place got stirred up." the female one states.
>"Um, excuse me, but what do I have to do to get through?" Muo asks.
>"A present. A token of your well-intent, you might say. Make it good, you look like you've got a few fine items on you." says the male.

>I don't want to give up my items, they were all presents!
Casted - Random Effect Level 2

At this level, I can't summon permanent items through that spell, but it'll last long enough for her to get through. That's assuming we get Muo through by way of present, of course.
>>
No. 356387 ID: e4003e

cake!
>>
No. 356388 ID: 1854db

>>356384
I know. Summon up a gold box, with DO NOT OPEN on it.

If they open it, BOOM it explodes into glue.
>>
No. 356389 ID: 3fd4fb

>>356384
>That's assuming we get Muo through by way of present, of course.
That sounds hopelessly lame. How about making all three of them incredibly high instead?
>>
No. 356392 ID: 35e1a0

the air around their heads makes them incredibly high.
>>
No. 356393 ID: 3ec596

>>356388

this. with enough glue to cover their mouths.
>>
No. 356399 ID: 35bcde

>>356384
A finely crafted ivory dildo. It menaces with spikes of ivory. It is engraved with an image of a goblin and a goblin. The goblins are wrestling.
>>
No. 356400 ID: 6a5a08

Swords and Shields turn into Fine Jewelry.
>>
No. 356401 ID: 3e1f1e

>>356399
Yes. Yes. Go on.
>>
No. 356403 ID: 4bdd79

>>356399
This.
>>
No. 356404 ID: c811c4
File 131794345167.png - (14.12KB , 600x600 , 104.png )
356404

One golden box shaped like a cake. Also, the candles make the three of them high. Why not? May as well loosen them up. Why not throw in another item, too.

....

>"So then I turned it into a badger!" Muo says.
>"Ha, no way! You know, we're s'posed to just take your stuff and then act like it was always ours, ya know? Assumin' the person we take it from is weaker, mind ya. In fact, where is yer stuff? An' why're you starin' at the wall?" the female asks.
>"I dunno! But you didn't take it, did you? You'll let me through?"
>"Eh, why not. I doubt you could cause much trouble."
>"And will you be my companion and lemme see your demon leaders an' talk to them?" says Muo.
>"Ehhhhhh, you didn't get through my post, understand?"
>"But I did."
>"No, you didn't. Do you get me?"
>"But I did!"
>"You didn't."
>"I did!"

As nice as it is seeing Muo high, we've reached a bit of a stalemate.
>>
No. 356406 ID: 3ec596

make her feel scoundrely. is that an emotion? you know, when you get into this mindset of being all pokerfaced and clever and tricking people?
>>
No. 356410 ID: 35e1a0

give her more cunning again. she seems to not be getting the "nudge nudge wink wink"
>>
No. 356412 ID: 35bcde

>>356404
The candles now produce a potent hallucinogenic.
>>
No. 356413 ID: 1854db

We could just give her a direct message, that they're letting her through but she shouldn't say they did.
>>
No. 356417 ID: 3fd4fb

>>356413
That would be silly. Muo is not meant to be our puppet here, she's a semi-independent agent that we give power and encourage to cause chaos. Explaining everything to her and telling her exactly what to do ruins the fun.

We need to figure out how to increase her piety, by the way. It's not going up, and that troubles me.
>>
No. 356418 ID: c811c4
File 131794785122.png - (12.43KB , 600x600 , 105.png )
356418

>Cunning/Conning

>"Ohh. I get youu. Still, I'd like you to come with me to the demon!"
>"Only way I'm coming with you is to make you our prisoner, lady."
>"Fine, then I'll take my stuff and go upstairs!"
>>
No. 356419 ID: c811c4
File 131794799307.png - (12.05KB , 600x600 , 106.png )
356419

Up at the Tower's first flopor...

>"I need to sell a few items!" Muo says.
>"Sure sure. Except, are you sure these aren't our weapons? This just screams that one of our guards down below got into a little misunderstanding." the shopkeep says.
>"I found the weapons and shields in the dungeons, they could have been yours a long time ago! Do I look like I could have "misunderstood" your guards?"
>"Whaaatever. I'll give you 20 gold for both shields and swords. How about it?

Casted: Random Effect Lv. 2
>>
No. 356420 ID: 3e1f1e

Her head now appears to be on fire, but it isn't.

This can be made permanent, if you people would like.
>>
No. 356421 ID: e4003e

Goblins shirt: evaporate
>>
No. 356422 ID: 35e1a0

shield now appears to be solid admantium.
>>
No. 356423 ID: 3fd4fb

>>356419
Muo gets super-cute puppy dog eyes for the next couple hours.
>>
No. 356429 ID: 3ec596

>>356422

this, but also the sword. if adamantium doesn't exist, make it mithril or orichalcum or whatever super awesome metal exists.
>>
No. 356430 ID: e3f578

>>356419
The shopkeeper now has a fetish for inanimate objects
and that sword and shield is looking fine
>>
No. 356438 ID: 1aba78

Look again. The gold is now diamonds.
>>
No. 356439 ID: d7b78f

>>356430

I like it.
>>
No. 356445 ID: c811c4
File 131795384715.png - (6.48KB , 600x600 , 107.png )
356445

>"Look at them again, miss! They're pure adamantium!
>"You wouldn't be the first one to try to pass off a regular weapon as adamantium, right? Think about that again. 20 gold pieces." the shopkeeper says.
>"...that'll be fine yes!"
>"Thought so."
>"I'd like to see your demon leaders, please!"
>"No can do. You either gotta beat one of our elite soldiers, or I guess prisoners see them often enough."
>"Is that soooo. I'm just wondering, then... where do you guys keep your water? I'm really thirsty."
>"Our well is just out in back, but you might have to pay." says the shopkeeper.
>"That's fine, thank you!" Muo says.
>"Yeah, get out of here, I need to go sort out this equipment in the back room!"
>>
No. 356446 ID: c811c4
File 131795387397.png - (11.99KB , 600x600 , 108.png )
356446

>"Hey! I'd like a drink. Here's one gold piece, is that alright?" Muo asks.
>"Sure, knock yourself out. Don't drink the whole supply, now."
>"And.. how about a couple more gold pieces for, uh... a little privacy?"
>"... whyyyyyyy?
>"It's- it's really personal! A slime like me drinking is actually really embarrasing!"
>"Ya know what? Sure. Just don't tell me why, when I think about it. Long as your gold is good."
>>
No. 356447 ID: c811c4
File 131795392394.png - (11.98KB , 600x600 , 109.png )
356447

>Then...

Muo casts Random Effect Lv2 on the Well Water
>>
No. 356451 ID: 0bd0b0

Jello pudding.
>>
No. 356453 ID: 44766a

Dwarf Piss
>>
No. 356454 ID: 3fd4fb

>>356447
Water elemental, predisposed to think of Muo as its mother but with the personality of someone just entering their rebellious teenage years.
>>
No. 356455 ID: 35e1a0

elven holy water.
>>
No. 356458 ID: e3f578

sea water
>>
No. 356459 ID: 1aba78

>>356453
Supporting dwarf piss, just to initiate the whole proceedings of the goblins against the dorfs.
>>
No. 356460 ID: e4003e

>>356459
Be sure to have a note or something identifying it as dwarven piss.
>>
No. 356466 ID: f45d0b

>>356460

Indeed. Dwarf Piss.

Be sure to give Muo a "surprise/shock" emotion so she can genuinely fake it so they won't suspect her of just screwing with the water.
>>
No. 356468 ID: d49627

>>356453
>>356467
Sewer Brew covers both of these bases.
>>
No. 356469 ID: 6a5a08

Dwarven piss, laced with Dwarven ale.
>>
No. 356470 ID: f70e5e

extremely strong alcoholic beverage that tastes exactly like water. we want the goblins acting funny not dying of thirst.
>>
No. 356471 ID: 0b7105

How about a yellow, sweet tasting, citrus-flavoured drink, that decomposes after 2 hours into dwarf piss?
>>
No. 356473 ID: 35e1a0

>>356470
sure.
>>
No. 356476 ID: 8c31cd

How about we just make the water taste like a dwarf pissed in it, but its actually harmless, normal water that just tastes nasty?

Their piss is alcoholic enough already. And, we dont want the gobbos dying of water poisoning before the fun can begin.
>>
No. 356478 ID: bd2a40

>>356470
Have to go with this.
>>
No. 356480 ID: ca157d

>>356470
This. This piss this is neither entertaining nor profitable.
>>
No. 356481 ID: 35bcde

GEE
SLIME WITH WAND WANDERS INTO GOBLIN FORT
ASKS TO SEE THE WELL
WELL IS FILLED WITH PISS
!?!?!?!?!
FUCK THE DWARVES

>>356470
This.
>>
No. 356483 ID: 78b9fc

Oh Muo you are having entirely too much fun.

LSD. LSD in the water.
>>
No. 356485 ID: 35bcde

>>356483
Yes, LSD. That's even better than alcohol. I change my vote.
>>
No. 356488 ID: 0bd0b0

LSD jello pudding that tastes like dwarf piss? This is just getting silly. I do really like the idea of altering their state of mind, however. Certainly chaotic.
>>
No. 356489 ID: 35e1a0

LSD sounds like the best.
>>
No. 356490 ID: 78b9fc

LSD and then Lagotrope can just scribble in rainbow colors on the canvas for every panel for a while.
>>
No. 356498 ID: d7b78f

Not LSD in the water, cus it will only last a few seconds. Make a chaos divine element that when comes into contact with water causes a chain reaction that produces LSD. When the chaos-god element fades from existence the LSD remains.
>>
No. 356505 ID: 55c4cf

LSD And/or aphrodisiacs.
>>
No. 356516 ID: 0b9ae5

LSD
>>
No. 356519 ID: 1aba78

oh my god we might as well rename this drug quest
>>
No. 356521 ID: c811c4
File 131797735965.png - (10.68KB , 600x600 , 110.png )
356521

Water now gives effects similar to LSD

>I'm going to go indoors for a bit, and try to introduce myself so I'm not completely unfamiliar. Tom, that water won't be completely ruined, will it?

"Nono, I'm not the god of pestilence. The effect on the water will wear off after some time.
>>
No. 356523 ID: 72d8c7

A Dorf. or a kitten. or a Dorfish kitten. Dorf-fish-kitten. Yes this one
>>
No. 356525 ID: c811c4
File 131797766953.png - (13.46KB , 600x600 , 111.png )
356525

rolled 75 = 75

2 hours later

>From what I gathered, before people had a bunch of water, there are around 50 goblins that live here.

>"Hehe you're all slimy and slippery, what are you?!" the nearest goblin says.
>"I'm a slimegirl, and thank you!"
>"Wow, you're exactly what you sound like! Slimy and a girl!"

>"WHAT IS GOING ON. WHY ARE YOU ALL ACTING SILLY. GET TO WORK, GOBLINS." a voice booms in a couple of rooms over.
>"Ah, who is that?!" Muo asks.
>"Oh, that's just like.. the demon. Man he sounds even more pissed than usual, but heh, I'm tripping a little here so maybe not."

>Uh oh uh oh! I think he's coming this way!

Polymorph Casted on Muo

A little change, this time! 60 is now equal strength for Muo, but otherwise it works the same. The higher, the stronger. Name a creature, if you please.
>>
No. 356526 ID: 715620

>>356525
>Stronger

Hmmmmm...

How about a... uh, succubus? You know, like Minci!
>>
No. 356527 ID: 72d8c7

>>356523
THEY TOLD ME I WAS CRAZY WHEN I SAID I COULD SEE INTO THE FUTURE. MY RAMBLING SUGGESTIONS HAVE MORE CREDIBILITY THAN EVER AHAHAH.
>>
No. 356528 ID: b67897

>>356523

this. including the beard.
>>
No. 356532 ID: 35e1a0

>>356526
hmmm... and being a demon as well it SHOULD make the other demon not instantly hostile to her.
>>
No. 356535 ID: 4c7b39

As funny as the cracked out dwarf fish thing is, I'm going to suggest the succubus thing.
>>
No. 356539 ID: abad1a

>>356523

This, please.
>>
No. 356540 ID: d3b577

>>356526
Hm. That could be entertaining and chaotic. Not to mentionfunny. What the hell, yes. (Anybody see the pun there? Really hoping it didn't just fly over your heads.)
>>
No. 356541 ID: 120291

I vote succubus
>>
No. 356542 ID: a2aeb2

>>356525
Poly into Elf/succubus hybrid..

As a step to instigate the eventual conflict against the Dwarfs and Elves.
>>
No. 356546 ID: 1aba78

Combination of everything suggested.

A dorf-fish-kitten-succubus-elf.
>>
No. 356553 ID: b79855

Tiger chick
>>
No. 356555 ID: bd2a40

Going to go with succubus.
>>
No. 356562 ID: 35bcde

>>356525
Just an elf.
>>
No. 356566 ID: 1854db

Whatever she polymorphs into... make it MALE.
>>
No. 356567 ID: 7f6643

succubus
>>
No. 356568 ID: 6a5a08

+1 to Succubus
>>
No. 356577 ID: 02eba9

if we choose succubus she can only be female
>>
No. 356578 ID: e27834

>>356577
Yeah. Succubi are a female-only race.
>>
No. 356579 ID: f6ed37

Dwarf, we really need to get them feuding.
>>
No. 356582 ID: 0bd0b0

Bill Cosby.
>>
No. 356583 ID: 6a5a08

>>356582
Changing vote to this.
>>
No. 356585 ID: c811c4
File 131802162923.png - (11.23KB , 600x600 , 112.png )
356585

>Oh, a succubus? Well, a dwarf really would've gotten th- what is that? A.. sheet?

>"OH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, KAZR? SHAPESHIFTING AS USUAL, AT THAT. I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN THE SLAVE PITS."
>"I um.. was just making sure these goblins don't jump out the windows or anything while they're acting all weird."
>"HOW UNCHARACTERISTIC OF YOU TO CARE. IT IS FINE, WE MUST PREPARE FOR THE ELVES. I SWEAR, YOU CHOP ONE TREE AND THEY GO ALL JIHARUSADE ON YOU. CARRY ON. I WILL CONTINUE LOOKING FOR THAT SUSPICIOUS VISITOR."

>Maybe it it was a good thing I didn't turn into a dwarf!
>>
No. 356586 ID: c811c4
File 131802171124.png - (11.00KB , 600x600 , 113.png )
356586

>"Heheh, I didn't know it was you, Kazr! What's with the undercover bit, hmm?" the goblin asks.
>"Just seeing how you do with strangers! And you did well."
>"Nice. So what do you want us to do about the elves, anyway? Their messenger just gave us warning they would attack, but they didn't say when."

>I know you don't like to talk to me much, Tom, but I'm in desperate need of guidance!
>>
No. 356587 ID: e27834

Look like we're nearing a new level of chaos. Tell her that she needs to cause some more chaos, and she'll get more powerful.
>>
No. 356590 ID: 35bcde

>>356586
Tell them to prepare a welcoming party. Like, all the good shit and naked wenches and everything. Remember, no wood stuff.

Also, ask her how the hell she got clothes.
>>
No. 356591 ID: a2fa74

>>356586
"I've spotted a few dwarves scouting around here, too. They're plotting something.

Take a team disguised as elves or dwarves or something.
Steal some high-proof alcohol from the dwarves and get them to chase you to the elves. Use the booze to set some elf trees on fire, then sneak off in the chaos. Let them bash on each other for awhile."
>>
No. 356593 ID: ca157d

Yeah, lets set up a party. Seems like fun. Maybe some mass friendship spells when the elves arrive?
>>
No. 356594 ID: f70e5e

no party, you could suggest they raid the dwarfs but make it look like it was the elves. if the elves have to worry about the dwarfs they might be less likely to attack the goblins.
>>
No. 356595 ID: e27834

>>356590
This would cause chaos. LOTS OF CHAOS. I mean, like, 50, probably. DO IT.
>>
No. 356596 ID: 667ff1

wathever you do offer them the LSD water
>>
No. 356607 ID: 6a5a08

>>356591
We're not trying to start all-out war, remember? Just tension. Dead bodies don't spread Chaos very well.


+1 to: Throw a giant party for the elves.
>>
No. 356608 ID: c811c4
File 131803310354.png - (13.95KB , 600x600 , 114.png )
356608

How Muo got clothes? Remember, I'm trying to keep things almost respectable, here! She only gets a birthday suit if the situation calls for a birthday. Or if I feel like it.

"Muo! The God of Chaos demands parties!"
>>
No. 356609 ID: c811c4
File 131803312068.png - (12.85KB , 600x600 , 115.png )
356609

>"It's time for a party! Arrange it immediately, and give the elves something to remember! Bring out all the booze and the laced water!"
>"You got it, boss!"
>>
No. 356610 ID: c811c4
File 131803315714.png - (13.46KB , 600x600 , 116.png )
356610

Later...

>Okay, the scouts said they'll be here any moment. We've dimmed the entrance, and are ready to launch the surprise party, but we've got to get them loosened up just enough so they don't think this is just some elaborate trap.

>"Foul goblins! Show yourselves, and your end will be swift!"

Casted: Random Effect
>>
No. 356611 ID: 715620

>>356610
RELAXO-GAS
>>
No. 356612 ID: 6a5a08

>>356611
One better: Disco ball that shoot out relaxo-gas and plays a bitchin' jam.
>>
No. 356614 ID: e27834

>>356612
With dancing cats on top.
>>
No. 356617 ID: b1f0e2

>>356609
>Bring out booze and laced water
...
Oh god! Swamp Elves! its from gobbo quest, a swamp elf is actually a half goblin/half elf... elves have so many "varieties" that by making up one, namely swamp, the character was able to escape elf prejudice against goblins.

THIS! This is how we will have our 3 way war but only kinda sorta. Get the elves high too, pretty soon there will be one big orgy... result? swamp elves... then we need to somehow blame this all on the dwarves. And there is going to be no end to chaos and internal disagreement inside each group on how to deal with the halfbloods.
>>
No. 356619 ID: 35bcde

>>356610
MASS CHARM! FRIENDSHIP AHOY!
>>
No. 356620 ID: e27834

>>356617
Oh god. WE need to make sure this happens during the party.
>>
No. 356622 ID: e3f578
 

>>356610
Suddenly, all the elves get gobbo fetishes and vice versa! And everyone gets a little more open and experimental with their sexual orientation.

And as for funky music to go with the disco lights... TOnight is riiiight for looove
>>
No. 356626 ID: 78b9fc

>>356611
>>356612

We already did drugs. Boring!

Have all the elves turned around 180 degrees but still think they're facing the wrong way.
>>
No. 356627 ID: b67897

the elves are all now suddenly very very thirsty. so they have to drink the water the goblins have to offer, or else.
>>
No. 356636 ID: 1854db

MY GOD. This is madness. Appropriate, I guess.

Make them DRUNK. Like, immediately drunk. Random Effect can do that.
>>
No. 356650 ID: ca157d

Use Friendship on them!
>>
No. 356659 ID: b1f0e2

>>356650
>friendship
This will probably work best as they will then be susceptible to accepting an offer of drinks and joining the party. By the time it expires they would already be high. Next she just needs to cast random effect that will create a "fog of passion".
>>
No. 356660 ID: f70e5e

they are now all happy and drunk, if that too specific we should make them high. if we can get a war called off by getting both sides drunk and or high that would be the best thing ever.
>>
No. 356661 ID: 6180c0

I'm confuzzled.


I'll go with friendship to try to keep things sane. ._.
>>
No. 356663 ID: b1386e

>>356661
Sane?

This. Is.
CHAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!
>>
No. 356672 ID: c811c4
File 131804935954.png - (13.44KB , 600x535 , 117.png )
356672

Mass Friendship/Charm

Wow, I think I understand why the old chaos god kept so few followers! I couldn't give this much power to a single person if I had tens of thousands of followers. I think I'll follow his example for this one!
>>
No. 356673 ID: c811c4
File 131804939720.png - (11.13KB , 600x600 , 118.png )
356673

>"Come in, come in! We're not going to fight today!" the goblin says.
>"What... but we... oh, fine, we'll be merciful on this day."
>>
No. 356675 ID: c811c4
File 131804947840.png - (10.18KB , 600x600 , 119.png )
356675

>"WHAT ARE YOU DOING KAZR? A PARTY? FOR THE ELVES? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? I WILL CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL IF YOU DO NOT CEASE AND DESIST."


Muo's ready for a level up! There's a few more choices this time around, either something new, or increasing her polymorph ability.

-Polymorph addons:
Power Change - Muo may set the average power number in a dice roll anywhere between 30 and 70.
Switch Bodies (2 targets) - The minds of each target switch places/bodies. Lasts indefinitely, but Muo cannot cast spells while in the other body. (If one dies, the other will die as well)
Inanimate Polymorph - Able to polymorph objects (50 set at Muo's strength, unless Muo has Power Change.

Orrrr...

Mind Control Level 1 - Allows Tom to fully control a target, but Muo is stuck in place while channeling. (A later level allows Muo to take full actions.)
Illusion Level 1 - Creates a relatively simple illusion in the area.
>>
No. 356676 ID: 0bd0b0

Mind Control. And upgrade it to level 2 next level up. Sounds very useful, especially in this situation. I have a feeling that the boss person is actually a weakling with powerful voice.
>>
No. 356677 ID: e27834

>>356676
Agreed. Honestly, I'm hoping for a level where we can upgrade 2 things. Maybe our upgrading gets more powerful after we hit level 5.
>>
No. 356678 ID: 35e1a0

mind control, totes.
>>
No. 356679 ID: 1854db

Mind Control has potential for some serious, SERIOUS shenanigans.

But uh I doubt this demon is actually a weakling; typically demons lead goblins via being strong as fuck.
>>
No. 356680 ID: 35bcde

>>356675
Switch bodies! Switch the demon with the smallest, runtiest goblin!
>>
No. 356683 ID: 35bcde

>>356675
Hustle him away from the party! Tell him you're breeding better minions!
>>
No. 356684 ID: 6a5a08

Mind Control.
>>
No. 356685 ID: a6ce10

Mind control.
>>
No. 356686 ID: b35efa

MIND CONTROL! control the demon, make the demon party hard.
>>
No. 356688 ID: 715620

MINDCONTROL
>>
No. 356689 ID: 78b9fc

SWITCH BODIES GOOOOO
>>
No. 356693 ID: e3f578

Make him ask "what did you do to my mind damned, succubus? I want that sword impaled into me so hard. I can't help it oh lord EVERYONE IMPALE ME NOW i can't go on without another impalement." then force him to run away into the shopkeeper's room and have him impale himself.

I don't even care about showboating for the goblins, let's just make him kill himself with sexual references.
>>
No. 356695 ID: 35bcde

>>356692
Roll over? Proffer your vital organs? Jump out the window?
>>
No. 356698 ID: 35e1a0

>>356693
... what? making him kill himself is REALLY short term.
>>
No. 356753 ID: fa2f8d

mind control. big time.
>>
No. 356762 ID: 7f6643

Power Change
>>
No. 356771 ID: a2fa74

>>356683
Yes! Then mind control him and have HIM spike everybody's drinks with aphrodisiacs.
>>
No. 356786 ID: 36139f

>>356771
Yeah. Do it!
>>
No. 356803 ID: c811c4
File 131810496817.png - (11.77KB , 600x600 , 120.png )
356803

>It looks like we're making a scene.

>"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"
>"Get me a sword!" Muo says.

>Goblins are crazy! Even if they are drugged up!

>"YOU WILL NOT BACK DOWN? THEN WE MUST DUEL."

>Thank you for the spell, Tom! I hope it works, otherwise I'm screwed!
>>
No. 356804 ID: c811c4
File 131810502669.png - (5.71KB , 600x600 , 121.png )
356804

Casted: Mind Control

This feels like some sort of nebulous blob under a sheet. Let's order him around and see how well this works! We don't know his capabilities, but giving an objective alone will be fine.
>>
No. 356806 ID: 35bcde

>>356804
Form vital organs. Put them visible and near the surface for easy stabbing.
>>
No. 356807 ID: 35e1a0

make him throw off his sheet.
>>
No. 356808 ID: 4bdd79

>>356807
This.
>>
No. 356812 ID: a2fa74

>>356807
This, then make him start sexing the elves.
Then you get the rest of the elves having sex with the goblins.
Half-demon elf babies will certainly cause chaos, and you can become the patron of "swamp elves".
>>
No. 356814 ID: f70e5e

it sounds like he could be a slime rather than a demon. getting rid of the sheet might be a good idea.
>>
No. 356840 ID: c811c4
File 131811441957.png - (6.73KB , 600x600 , 122.png )
356840

"ATTENTION GOBLINS AND ELVES. I HAVE SUDDENLY AND INEXPLICABLY CHANGED MY MIND AND THE PARTY IS ON NO THERE IS NOTHING SUSPICIOUS AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL I CANNOT LOWER MY VOLUME WHY IS THAT. ALSO I AM A SPINELESS COWARD. NOW PROCEED TO GET WASTED BECAUSE YOUR LEADER DEMANDS IT."

>"Whoa! Boss is a slime looking demon!"
>>
No. 356841 ID: c811c4
File 131811443835.png - (12.01KB , 600x600 , 123.png )
356841

And no one seems to care much. The elves and goblins are getting along fine after an insignificant bit of tension.

Muo's busy channeling control over the slime, so what should we do? Sounds like a few of you guys want some half and half babies.
>>
No. 356843 ID: 7f6643

orgy
>>
No. 356844 ID: 153f0c

half and half babbys everywhere.
>>
No. 356849 ID: 69e1e7

All of the babies.
Every single baby.
>>
No. 356851 ID: de7eea

What about 3/2 and 1/3 babies?
Just to see people try to figure out how that works (the answer is magic).
>>
No. 356852 ID: a2fa74

>>356841
Yes! We will make a bunch of swamp elves!


I don't know which would be more chaotic; elves and goblins being pissed at each other over half-breeds, or half-breeds causing them to both start getting along.

Actually, we're probably looking at the traditionalist elves getting royally pissed while the lower-rank elves don't care.
Infighting's always great fun.
>>
No. 356853 ID: 6a5a08

Agreed.
We will cut the babies in half, and mail them to the dwarves!
>>
No. 356855 ID: 35e1a0

have the boss jump into the well then release control.
>>
No. 356861 ID: e3f578

Hey Tom, can you sing? Can you sing using Muo's necklace? Get up on stage and heat up the room with a love song!
>>
No. 356866 ID: 27c82a

Looks like we're having kids everyone!
>>
No. 356872 ID: c811c4
File 131812130026.png - (5.55KB , 600x600 , 124.png )
356872

This is a punch bowl. It is crafted out of obsidian and menaces with spikes of obsidian, LSD water and aphrodisiac.
>>
No. 356873 ID: c811c4
File 131812133683.png - (5.37KB , 600x600 , 125.png )
356873

>Jump in the well.

Just in time, I think Muo's getting distracted!
>>
No. 356875 ID: c811c4
File 131812136049.png - (12.29KB , 600x600 , 126.png )
356875

>"H-hey! Wait a second!" Muo says.
>"Nuh uh, it's your party, you gotta participate too!"

I won't have to sing any love songs, after all.
>>
No. 356876 ID: c811c4
File 131812138133.png - (15.35KB , 600x600 , 127.png )
356876

>"Is this what you do all day, Tom?"

"OH MINCI I totally forgot you were there! Ah, um.. I can explain this. See, uh, the dwarves.. they're behind it all somehow."

>"Tom, you know you don't have to hide it! I can see why you enjoy this."

"Oh, right! I forgot you were the best girlfriend. Consort. Whatever!"

Whelp, things are just going to go down(hill) from here! Minci and I will watch to see if anything important happens so you guys don't have to. I'm sure it's all very boring for souls. Till then, goodnight!
>>
No. 356877 ID: c811c4
File 131812145489.png - (13.64KB , 600x600 , 127pause.png )
356877

>>
No. 356880 ID: a2fa74

>>356876
>girlfriend
>consort

How about you upgrade her to fiancee?

Also, you are totally wrong. We love to watch~
>>
No. 356884 ID: 1854db

>>356876
>boring for souls
:C

But actually yeah let's not watch Muo get it on. You're her god, that's far more of a relationship than we've got with her.
>>
No. 356902 ID: fa2f8d

if you have pregnancy-vision, you better tell us. I wanna know if this actually works.
>>
No. 356922 ID: e73e6c

It may break the rules of modern science, but we're the freaking advisers of a GOD. We can do ANYTHING! Also, I agree, upgrade Minci's status from girlfriend to fiancee.
>>
No. 356944 ID: cb0cc3

>>356876
>I'm sure it's all very boring for souls.
Why yes, when you stop us from watching anything it is rather boring indeed. Thanks a bunch.

>>356880
>>356922
>fiancee
Uh, you guys know that's a step down from "consort", right? Also it's inaccurate. Consort is a fine title.
>>
No. 356948 ID: 3c441f

>>356944
Well you're a waffle. In. Pajamas.
>>
No. 356958 ID: e4003e

These events bring to mind one question. What would 1/3 elf 1/3 goblin 1/3 dwarf look like?
>>
No. 356964 ID: a2fa74

>>356944
It's also used to refer to prostitutes and mistresses. Since he said "girlfriend" first it's probably best to get that all worked out.

Tom: How hilarious would it be for the god of chaos to be a devoted and loyal husband? The idea makes me giggle.
>>
No. 356990 ID: 84b916

>>356902
Well it is chaos magic goin' on.
On a more personal note I don't think succubi can get pregnant? Part of being a daemon of lust and all that.

Also, did we ever start that little war with the dwarves?
>>
No. 356994 ID: f70e5e

i'd call turning an elven raid into a massive drug fueled orgy at least as good as causing strife between the elves and the dwarves. there is so much we could do with the resulting half breeds. Mot to mention the looks on everybody's face the morning after, and the elven raiding party explaining exactly why they did't raid the goblins when they return home, which we are so going to watch.
>>
No. 357019 ID: 3c441f

>>356994
Let the pregnancies commence!
>>
No. 357039 ID: ba6280

Personally, I don't see why the half-breeds need to be goblin/elf.
>>
No. 357072 ID: c811c4
File 131819806479.png - (7.46KB , 600x600 , 128.png )
357072

>Nng... what happened?
>>
No. 357073 ID: c811c4
File 131819808826.png - (12.36KB , 600x600 , 129.png )
357073

>"Oh. Where am I?!"

Casted: Random Effect
>>
No. 357074 ID: 715620

>>357073
>Intuit the direction to the nearest community of people
>>
No. 357076 ID: 35bcde

>>357072
lvl 1 hangover cure
>>
No. 357084 ID: a2fa74

>>357073
EFFECT: Starts raining hollandaise sauce.

Muo: Maybe you should try LOOKING AROUND.
Also, you appear to have engulfed a vibrator.

Tom: How well did it go? Are we going to have litters of swamp elves on the way?
>>
No. 357085 ID: 35e1a0

arrow burns into the grass pointing towards the tower.
>>
No. 357093 ID: 40cb26

Effect: Muos total and vivid recall of everything that happened, despite effects of drugs and/or overwhelming sexytimes.
>>
No. 357094 ID: 715620

>>357093
Switching vote to this.
>>
No. 357095 ID: 35e1a0

>>357093
voting this too. total recall would also let her know where she is and how she got here.
>>
No. 357100 ID: 44766a

+1 to total recall.

Hey, Muo's total hit points went up. And she got 25 more Chaos Points while she was out. Nice.
>>
No. 357121 ID: c811c4
File 131820662092.png - (11.88KB , 600x600 , 130.png )
357121

>TOTAL RECALL

>"Oh my. I did do that, didn't I...?"
"And how!"
>"T-tom?! You were watching?!"
"And my girl."
>"A-ahhhh! Well, I fell asleep in one of the beds, but then I ended up here!"

Ah, that's right. Sleepwalking.

"Well, how about you, you know, take a look around?"
>"I.. this is a forest, right? I've never been in one before! Wait, I hear footsteps!"
>>
No. 357122 ID: c811c4
File 131820663816.png - (10.94KB , 600x600 , 131.png )
357122

>"You're in elven territory, intruder! Surrender, and explain your business to my companions and... I?"
>>
No. 357123 ID: c811c4
File 131820665268.png - (10.52KB , 600x600 , 132.png )
357123

You know, I don't think I ever told her the catch to her hat of invisibility. How much faith do we have in Muo that she can get out of this herself?
>>
No. 357126 ID: a2fa74

>>357123
Almost none!
Lets watch and see what she does! :D
>>
No. 357129 ID: 78b9fc

I wonder if her body will start eating the hat.
>>
No. 357135 ID: 835f6d

I'll give her 28%

But that depends on what she does. :P
>>
No. 357145 ID: 510737

tell her to say "I am the magical hat of vengeance.
anyone who disturbs me shall be smitten.
leave now, mortal if you wish to keep your soul."
>>
No. 357146 ID: 04d1ff

>>357145
this
>>
No. 357149 ID: f70e5e

we should at least tell her the hat's catch. oh an idea for a boon down the road, something that temporarily removes the catch of one of your magic items.
>>
No. 357150 ID: c811c4
File 131821171592.png - (12.98KB , 600x600 , 133.png )
357150

>W-wait, he can see my hat!"
"I am the magic hat of vengeance! All who dist--"
>>
No. 357151 ID: c811c4
File 131821176491.png - (18.86KB , 600x600 , 134.png )
357151

Oh, the elf didn't listen at all, but Muo summoned the badger from out of the hat!

Casted: Random Effect
>>
No. 357154 ID: 510737

ok curl into a little ball and look as pitiable as you can make sure to give a little sniffle and sat "d-don't hurt me..."
>>
No. 357155 ID: 35bcde

>>357151
Giant growth!
>>
No. 357157 ID: a2fa74

>>357151
Bless all their weapons with healing power.
After their damage is applied to the victim, the victim is healed for 1.5x the damage.
>>
No. 357158 ID: b81dd7

>>357157
This, and chocolate rain
>>
No. 357161 ID: 44766a

+1 to healing weapons and chocolate rain.
>>
No. 357169 ID: 4bdd79

>>357157
>>357158
This.
>>
No. 357172 ID: 197a62

he is silenced.
>>
No. 357180 ID: c811c4
File 131821574303.png - (21.44KB , 600x600 , 135.png )
357180

Random Effect: Chocolate Rain

Turning other people's weapons into healing is just a bit stronger than I can do. Also..

Boon: Blink on Hit Triggered!

>"Wha?!"
"A little delayed reaction, but there it is!"

>"Rain?! Now?!"
"Hey Muo, I just came across a good question. Do you digest stuff in your body at all?"
>"I can, but if it's a solid, I can also choose not to digest it. If it's a liquid though, I don't have much control at all! That's why rain is b... why is it sweet?!"

Huh, she's never had chocolate.
>>
No. 357182 ID: c811c4
File 131821578712.png - (23.41KB , 600x600 , 136.png )
357182

Tom finds this hilarious!

>"Hey, th-" the elf starts.

Casted: Mind Control
>>
No. 357184 ID: 35bcde

>>357182
Make out with her face.
>>
No. 357185 ID: a2aeb2

>>357151
super-rubbery and impenetrable membrane, lets bounce those frickin' arrows right back.

Wait.. are those Goblins in the trees?
>>
No. 357186 ID: 35e1a0

"-e slime seems to of vanished ,head back to town and report it i'll see if i can find some trace of it"
>>
No. 357187 ID: 1854db

>>357182
Give her an umbrella, Tom. If rain is bad for her, it's best if she had protection. Give it a camouflage pattern so that Muo can hide under it while Mind Controlling the elf.

Also the elf should report back that the slime is GONE.
>>
No. 357190 ID: 35e1a0

>>357187
except it isn't water, it's chocolate.
>>
No. 357191 ID: a2fa74

>>357182
"-at's Muo! It's ok guys, I know this girl."
>>
No. 357195 ID: f70e5e

just have him walk on by. we don't want to lose one of our most amusing followers do we?
>>
No. 357198 ID: c811c4
File 131821844564.png - (11.24KB , 600x600 , 137.png )
357198

>>357185
Nope, just elves. Now that you mention it, the hair did look like ears from that distance.

>>357187
I'm too curious! Getting in contact is bad, apparently, but she's never said why! If it's that bad, she can stop the mind control.
>>
No. 357199 ID: c811c4
File 131821850683.png - (12.89KB , 600x600 , 138.png )
357199

>"Leafburrow?" the nearest girl elf says.
"The slime seems to have vanished, let's head back to town to report it."

So the question is... do we want to use this elf to help Muo find shelter, most likely breaking off from these elves, or head into the elf territory, assuming Muo keeps up the control?
>>
No. 357203 ID: 35e1a0

have him find muo's hat. "go on ahead it had a magic hat with it, think it would be best to find it."
>>
No. 357212 ID: 1854db

Deeper in.
>>
No. 357218 ID: b1f0e2

leave the magic hat...
"he" should go back to elf territory under her mind control... and sow chaos as her proxy :P
>>
No. 357223 ID: 35bcde

>>357199
Go to the one with the veil, lift it, and kiss her right on the mouth.
>>
No. 357225 ID: 6a5a08

We must go deeper
>>
No. 357244 ID: 510737

>>357223
I vote for this too, bonus if she's like mileena from MK.
>>
No. 357256 ID: b1f0e2

>>357223
this is minor, short term chaos that might interfere with our large scale chaos back in their city tree
>>
No. 357581 ID: c811c4
File 131838616077.png - (9.25KB , 600x600 , 139.png )
357581

Let's save the kissy kissy when there's enough people around to care.

Nothing happened on the way back. I'm a little bit disappointed, here! I got the elf to go report though, and he took it from there. This must be his captain, or leader, or whatever.

Also, these swords are made out of wood. So their homes are magically grown from trees, but do they have some sort of sword and arrow farm around here? Either that, or this is some serious, detached from reality caliber hypocrisy.
>>
No. 357582 ID: c811c4
File 131838623096.png - (13.11KB , 600x600 , 140.png )
357582

>"Ah! Eliye Leafburrow! Welcome back, you are earlier than expected. Ran into trouble? Haha, what a joke, elves are far too great to have any of this "trouble"! Nevertheless, I am certain you have fine reason to come back before your scouting run should have been over. I was just telling our fine, if misguided, caravan trader here the merits of never chopping down trees under any circumstances! I was just getting to the best part, then he dropped his quill from shaking too much! The silly, mud burrowing dwarf must be enlightened so much, his very core is shaken. But enough on that. What news do you bring from the earthpath?"
>>
No. 357585 ID: a98f5c

Well you said you would, so in the interest of keeping up the illusion, report 'your' encounter with 'the slime'.

What's up with the dwarf? Maybe see if you can get some time alone with the dwarf or something
>>
No. 357587 ID: 6a5a08

Punch female in snout to establish dominance.
>>
No. 357589 ID: e3f578

Let's be almost as brutally honest as possible without giving up on our plans as a mind controlled elf or setting a war off between everybody for shits and giggles

A lot of elves took part in an goblin orgy
A succubus that was actually a slime spy trying to start a new race on the land
And that dwarf is actually shaking out of rage. In fact, he is actually repressing an amount of rage that could rival the sun in it's fires. I'm fucking impressed. annnnnd finally...
"Woman, I get that we are superior, but I'm really starting to think we ought to work on our tact. These dorf's own rage inspired by our lack of tact could destroy the forests alone. And then it would be like we set off the fires because these dorfs can't control their own impulses or their psychic firey rage brainwaves. Then we'd have to sentence ourselves to honorable suicide."

Then realize that this is actually a man too late. He has no chest.
>>
No. 357590 ID: a2fa74

>>357582
Report your encounter with the slime, then inform the elf that you think the dwarf appears to be suffering from Hypointoxia - a dangerously low blood alcohol content that develops when a person with Aleabetis goes too long without alcohol. Suggest they take a recess while the dwarf tends to that problem.

The elves won't know better, and no dwarf would correct 'elven' nonsense like that if it meant getting out of an unpleasant situation and into a pint.
>>
No. 357594 ID: d4155c

Better be careful with that dwarf. For all we know, he might have a portable lever that floods the world with magma. That or he goes on an adventure with a manly elf, kills a few gods, gives the nature portfolio to satan and becomes the dwarf god.
>>
No. 357614 ID: bb9753

>>357589
This
>>
No. 357652 ID: 35e1a0

>>357590
think that would be a good idea. and then while the dwarf is drinking we can talk to him.
>>
No. 357653 ID: f70e5e

>>357589
this but remove the bit about brain waves. this world is to low tech to know what that is.
>>
No. 357659 ID: 35bcde

>>357589
Yes, this. Except don't call him a woman.
>>
No. 357669 ID: c811c4
File 131842000635.png - (10.80KB , 600x600 , 141.png )
357669

Now that it's mentioned, I really have no idea if that's a man or a woman! In fact, am I a man?

"Yes, probably-sir. The elvish party that was to strike the goblins ended up having an orgy. With the goblins. All night long. A succubus that was, in fact, a slime, was trying to make swamp elves. I saw the slime on my way back, but it got away. Easily."
>>
No. 357670 ID: c811c4
File 131842002069.png - (10.21KB , 600x600 , 142.png )
357670

"Furthermore, that dwarf is shaking simply because he is full of rage. Enough rage that if all of that rage were to power a fireball, the entire forest were burst into flame. All at once. Furthermore, I'm no doctor, but I will still diagnose this dwarf with a severe case of hypointoxia! I suggest the two of you take a recess and allow him the booze."
>>
No. 357671 ID: c811c4
File 131842003266.png - (6.33KB , 600x600 , 143.png )
357671

"Man, probably, we're superior. I get that! But we could work on our tact. A lot. These dorf's own rage, inspired by our lack of tact, could destroy these forests. And if we invoke their bloodlust and possibly woodlust, it would be as though we set the fires ourself! And then we'd have to suicide for honor."

>"G-ga- L-Leafburrow! What has gotten into you?! This is not the proud and fine elf I have sent patrolling! Your route did not even cover the others assault on the vile goblins, and yet you know... you claim... unfathomable! Shameful beyond words! I-I cannot even think! And now, to this dwarf, you want him to have Booze?! Beer and alcohol?! In our forest?! You would have us gather plants and rip them apart, boil them alive and other unspeakable sins, all to get a vile concoction?! Why, I was just beginning to switch topics for our dwarf on how vile, wretched, and calamitous the substance, so casually nicknamed "booze", is a blight upon this world. Shame be on ...."
>>
No. 357672 ID: c811c4
File 131842005891.png - (7.38KB , 600x600 , 144.png )
357672

>"... good for nothing fluid that does naught but make elves weep for their mothers and hurl their stomachs below the trees! Liquid murder! Liquid heresy and blasphemy against all that us proud, noble elves stand for! Why, back in my earlier years, I mentioned such things in the interest of partaking, and got quite the scowl off of my parents, and rightly so! It was one of my most shameful acts, and pains me to bring it up! But I must, to share with you the pain that is brought on this world by such a grotesque, foul-stenching, loathsome excuse of a 'drink!'"
>>
No. 357674 ID: c811c4
File 131842019365.png - (14.05KB , 800x600 , 145.png )
357674

"......"

>"The plants have feeli-"

>"GRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ENOUGH, ELF! ENOUGH, BY YE GODS, I CANNOT TAKE ANOTHER WORD!!"

Before we go, I have got to see their table-farms.
>>
No. 357682 ID: 563369

stab the elf so it looks lke the dorf did it.
>>
No. 357684 ID: e3f578

"You see, I'm talking about sacrificing a few for the greater good. Now he's flipping our proudly naturally grown tables, great, thanks, you are the most terrible diplomat. I absolve you of your duty. Diplomacy takes sacrifice of both parties, what kind of amateur are you? I, in fact, now call you an inferior elf to my superiorness. I AM THE MOST SUPERIOR ELF IN THIS GODDAMN ROOM! SOMEONE GET THIS BEARDED DWARF SOME DAMN FERMENTED, NATURALLY GROWN 'BOOZE'! Before he, you know, fucking burns down the whole city and chops it. I'll challenge you to an official superior-off later."
>>
No. 357686 ID: a98f5c

At first I was worried about getting in trouble but then I realised that the elf isn't us and so the elf can get in all of the trouble in the world and we couldn't care less! So do >>357684! Show that inferior superior-elf who's the superior superior-elf!

...idly, I wonder if their dildos are made of wood too.
>>
No. 357689 ID: a4cab9

>>357674
"You are a terrible diplomat. Also an idiot. Now you're going to kill the caravan to cover up your incompetence. Because you're a dick."
>>
No. 357691 ID: 35bcde

>>357674
WHAT ABOUT DEAD FELLED WOOD IS THAT OKAY DOES ANYONE GIVE A CRAP ABOUT NATURALLY DEAD PLANTS
>>
No. 357696 ID: b1f0e2

so... what do elves actually EAT if every plant, even herbs, are sacred?
>>
No. 357699 ID: b6edd6

>>357696
People.
No, seriously.
(Well, they also eat plants harvested through 'humane' elf methods, but they do actually eat slain enemies/allies.)
>>
No. 357896 ID: e32f97

>>357684
2nd
>>
No. 357921 ID: 78b9fc

NO MORE TALKING. TABLES HAVE BEEN FLIPPED.
>>
No. 357929 ID: 6a5a08

Punch douchebag elf in face.
Brofist dwarf.
>>
No. 357932 ID: 0d7a83

Punch the other one in the face while screaming "JUSTICE!!!", then demand the dwarf lead you back to his people so you can drink ale and eat live animals LIKE A TRUE (WO)MAN. Also see if you can set something on fire on the way out.
>>
No. 357933 ID: c811c4
File 131854389485.png - (8.37KB , 600x600 , 146.png )
357933

You see, I'm talking about sacrificing a few for the greater good. Now he's flipping our proudly, naturally grown - right? - table! Thank. Diplomacy takes sacrifice of both parties. You are a terrible diplomat, and I absolve you of your duties! Someone get this dwarf some booze! Make some, if you have to!"

>"What has gotten into you?! You cannot absolve me, I am your superior officer!"

"No. You are inferior!"
>>
No. 357935 ID: c811c4
File 131854393818.png - (6.28KB , 600x600 , 147.png )
357935

"I challenge you to a superior-off!"

This will involve a punch to the face, I'm sure of it.

>*GASP*
>>
No. 357936 ID: c811c4
File 131854395926.png - (12.96KB , 600x600 , 148.png )
357936

>*GASPS*
>>
No. 357937 ID: c811c4
File 131854400674.png - (9.26KB , 600x600 , 149.png )
357937

>"Greetings, young Leafburrow. I have heard that you have challenged Nemile Thelirethelire to a superior-off. This is no trifling business."

..was she already here? No time passed at all, I just challenged him! I'm beginning to think that these elves are just insane. Full on premium bat shit wonkers.

>"As is custom, I, the druid of this retreat, shall be the judge. The first trial will be a challenge of wits. As you are the challenger, you may choose what game you two will compete in."
>>
No. 357939 ID: d82cf6

glad we didn't bother sowing chaos in here- these guys are about as wack as they come.

the answer, obviously, is The Oldest Game.
>>
No. 357941 ID: c61ec8

Absolutely anything except "The Oldest Game"
>>
No. 357942 ID: d97c6d

The Oldest Game, of course.
>>
No. 357944 ID: 35e1a0

oldest game, with a rule that "i am an elf" cannot be used, since we are elves already it would be silly.
>>
No. 357948 ID: 6a5a08

>>357944
This.
>>
No. 357950 ID: bd7cc2

This is hilarious.

How about the Newest Game? The one we just made up, that we automatically win?
>>
No. 357951 ID: 981404

Oldest Game
>>
No. 357953 ID: c811c4
File 131854749744.png - (6.30KB , 600x600 , 150.png )
357953

"I challenge this .. elf, to the oldest game!"

>"Oh! The game of life giving and nurture?!"

"What. NO. The other oldest... propose a thing that defeats the previously proposed thing, you idiot! No elves because that would be silly!"

>"Ah, that! Very well. Elves!"

"NO."

>"Oh, yes. Then.. the forest! Life giving and endless."
>>
No. 357955 ID: 35e1a0

dwarves, tree cutting, forest ending.
>>
No. 357961 ID: 6a5a08

Fire, forest-burning, all-consuming.
>>
No. 357965 ID: e3f578

>>357953
We have to word things like an elf would. As a prideful asshole

An imbecile, nature-wasting and accidental forest-fire causing
>>
No. 357968 ID: 5ed7bf

Oh my god this is hilarious

But I have no idea about the oldest game so I'm just going to watch

>>
No. 357969 ID: 6a5a08

>>357965
Reworded to sound a little nicer: "I am a fool, forest-wasting, ignorant of consequence."
>>
No. 357974 ID: d290cb

A volcano, smothering the air and soil with poisonous ash.
>>
No. 357980 ID: c811c4
File 131855160227.png - (6.96KB , 600x600 , 151.png )
357980

"I am the imbecile, forest wasting, ignorant of consequences.

>"I am the ellll --
>>
No. 357981 ID: c811c4
File 131855161096.png - (7.12KB , 600x600 , 152.png )
357981

>I am the mentor, wise and influencial."
>>
No. 357984 ID: a2fa74

>>357981
Hesitation/stumbling. That would be a loss.

If they don't like that, then "Am I arrogance, ignoring wisdom and respecting only myself."
>>
No. 357985 ID: d97c6d

>>357984
Arrogance is a good choice. Give him a warning on the stumbling, but say you'll let it slide this time.
>>
No. 357986 ID: 6a5a08

>>357984
This.
>>
No. 357990 ID: c811c4
File 131855350316.png - (8.25KB , 600x600 , 153.png )
357990

"Stumbling and hesitation are loss conditions, you know? I'll let it slide this time!"

>"How gracious. Yes, another stumbling will cost you the match, then, Nemile. Carry on, Leafburrow." the druid says.

"I am arrogance, ignoring wisdom and respecting only myself."

>"I am the reckless mistake, shame creating, humbleness inducing.
>>
No. 357992 ID: 0bd0b0

Use the game as an excuse to point out her mistake. Just saying it may make you lose, all bullshit expecting.
>>
No. 357994 ID: a2fa74

>>357990
"I am a wise successor, mistake correcting, failure avoiding."
>>
No. 357995 ID: e3f578

>>357990
I am a nudist, I know no shame
>>
No. 357999 ID: 6a7b18

>>357995
YES.
>>
No. 358003 ID: d97c6d

>>357992
"I am hubris, insolent, shame unfeeling."
>>
No. 358005 ID: 6a5a08

>>357995
"I am a nudist, shameless, natural."
>>
No. 358006 ID: d290cb

Hubris is good for this, upvoting.
>>
No. 358009 ID: e3f578

Get nude while you say it, to fluster and confuse your opponent and to figure out your gender. Maybe even turn on the druid a little if your a dude.
>>
No. 358016 ID: 715620

>>357995
YES.
>>
No. 358026 ID: c811c4
File 131856146929.png - (8.16KB , 600x600 , 154.png )
358026

"I am the nudist. I know no shame!"

...

>"I am the Clothes Golem, forcibly covering their shame!"
>>
No. 358028 ID: d4155c

I am a adamantium sword. There is no cloth I cannot cut.
>>
No. 358029 ID: 35e1a0

i am a slime, clothes dissolve at my touch.
>>
No. 358030 ID: d8eee4

>>358026
I am a slime, my corrosive body dissolving the clothes golem.
>>
No. 358031 ID: 1854db

>>358029
I like that phrasing.
>>
No. 358032 ID: d8eee4

>>358031
/agree

>>358029
Suggesting you also begin to remove your opponent's clothes. It is only appropriate, to go with this phrasing.
>>
No. 358033 ID: a2fa74

>>358026
I'm tempted to say "You can't cover shame when there's no shame to cover. You lose.", but instead I'll go with the slime girl dissolving clothes thing.

Pretty sure undressing your opponent would be a forfeit though, so don't do that.
>>
No. 358034 ID: c811c4
File 131856278306.png - (8.80KB , 600x600 , 155.png )
358034

Aren't there rules against taking off your opponents clothes during the Oldest Game?

"I am a slime, clothes dissolve at my touch."

>"I am an adventurer, slime hunting, dungeon delving."
>>
No. 358035 ID: 6a5a08

>>358026
"I am a dragon, adventurer eating, dungeon guarding."
>>
No. 358036 ID: a2fa74

>>358034
"I am a seductress. Adventurer distracting, riches stealing."
>>
No. 358037 ID: 35e1a0

"i am the god of chaos, slime protecting"
>>
No. 358038 ID: 1854db

>>358035
TRIAL OF THE DRAGONNNNN
>>
No. 358047 ID: 715620

>>358036
>>
No. 358048 ID: 715620

>>358034
Also, last I checked you still have your pants on.
>>
No. 358050 ID: 78b9fc

I am pants. Adventurers cannot keep me clean. *remove pants*

The awesome thing is when Muo breaks concentration even more chaos will ensue. What is the dwarf doing anyway?
>>
No. 358063 ID: 35bcde

I am the rocks falling, adventurer ending.
>>
No. 358065 ID: f70e5e

we could mess with her a bit,

I am chaos god, monster aider adventure confounding.
>>
No. 358093 ID: 080dd8

>>358036
This. And don't mention ANYTHING about waffles.
>>
No. 358109 ID: c811c4
File 131859491643.png - (7.40KB , 600x600 , 156.png )
358109

The dwarf... is just staring off into space. He's taking all of this pretty hard.

"I am the seductress. Adventurer distracting, riches stealing."

>"I am the gay man, ignoring the advances and allure of females.
>>
No. 358110 ID: b79855

Call him a fag.
>>
No. 358114 ID: a2fa74

>>358109
Dammit, we said no elves!

"I am alcohol, inhibition lowering, preference ignoring."
>>
No. 358121 ID: 49e436

>>358114

oh boy. there's a story behind this suggestion, isn't there?
>>
No. 358124 ID: e3f578

>>358109
I am androgynous, I confuse the fuck out of straights and gays alike
>>
No. 358129 ID: b1f0e2

>>358114
>Alcohol
Oh god yes
>>
No. 358154 ID: 6df0a8

>>358124
Do it~
>>
No. 358194 ID: 78b9fc

I am the strap-on. No explanation needed.
>>
No. 358239 ID: 6a5a08

>>358114
Yes
>>
No. 358240 ID: 1854db

>>358114
Alcohol? Hmm, yesss. Let's throw things that dwarves like into this.
>>
No. 358262 ID: 78b9fc

Let's pretend to be a dwarf wizard possessing the body of a helpless elf maid/man in order to force him/her to do our dark bidding! Then when they figure it out they'll blame it on the dwarves, such as the one conveniently located right over there.
>>
No. 358268 ID: 5ed7bf

>>358114
Yesssss

I hope he says something like "i am the dwarf". That would make me laugh.
>>
No. 358280 ID: c811c4
File 131865044463.png - (6.84KB , 600x600 , 157.png )
358280

"I am alcohol, inhibition lowering, preference ignoring."

>"... I AM THE -- DWARF, never relenting their consuming of alcohol."

That sounded less like hesitation, and more that he tried to say it through a voicebox made of knives.
>>
No. 358283 ID: ccb4d4

I am carp! Ensnared by your lines, I take you to a watery grave!
>>
No. 358284 ID: d464ec

I wish I was good at wording things, but we need to say something about hangovers.
>>
No. 358285 ID: b6edd6

So many options...

"I am the sock, luring countless dwarfs to their dooms."

"I am the carp, never relenting in consuming dwarfs or fishers."

"I am gold, master of dwarfs."
>>
No. 358286 ID: a2fa74

>>358280
"I am the elephant, crushing dwarves, ending fortresses."
>>
No. 358287 ID: 299ed3

I am Adamantium, tempter of Dwarfs, destroyer of fortresses.
>>
No. 358291 ID: d97c6d

>>358286
Oh, man, I almost forgot dwarves fear elephants. This.
>>
No. 358292 ID: 35bcde

I am lava. Glorious, fascinating, deadly, delicious.
>>
No. 358293 ID: 6a5a08

>>358286
This.
>>
No. 358297 ID: 6df0a8

>>358283
This, but change it to zombie carp.
>>
No. 358298 ID: c811c4
File 131865344029.png - (7.69KB , 600x600 , 158.png )
358298

"I am the elephant, crushing dwarves, ending fortresses."

>"I am the cage trap, trapping all but the greatest beasts, unfailingly.
>>
No. 358299 ID: 6df0a8

"I am the kobold thief, dodging all your traps without fail, stealing your valuables."
>>
No. 358300 ID: 3bad4c

I am the siege, of greater number than fire-once traps.
>>
No. 358301 ID: 5ed7bf

>>358299
Yes kobolds!

>>358298
wait what he took off his clothes too?
YES
>>
No. 358302 ID: 6df0a8

>>358301
Not to self: Rip off everyone's shorts. Including the Dryad.
>>
No. 358303 ID: 99f447

Haha, kobolds, that's amateur hour.

I am the CLOWNS! Trap crushing, destroyer of all!
>>
No. 358304 ID: d464ec

I am the slime, sliding through all cracks and being unaffected by most dwarven traps.
>>
No. 358305 ID: c811c4
File 131865545336.png - (6.30KB , 600x600 , 159.png )
358305

"I am the kobold thief, dodging all of your traps without fail, stealing your single wooden arrow valuables."

>"I am the dragon, kobold enslaving, hoard collecting."
>>
No. 358306 ID: a2fa74

>>358304
We already did slime. That would be a loss.

>>358299
Kobolds! :D
>>
No. 358307 ID: 5ed7bf

>>358305
I am the cave-in, dragon crushing, hoard scattering.
>>
No. 358308 ID: 6df0a8

"I am the rust monster, scale rotting, horde destroying."
>>
No. 358310 ID: 40cb26

Hey Tom, are any of those god dudes specifically the gods of dragonkind? Something they'd bow to and revere? Let's use that if there is one. Well, if its also general knowledge.

Otherwise go with >>358307
>>
No. 358311 ID: c811c4
File 131865661631.png - (12.64KB , 600x600 , 160.png )
358311

"I am the cave-in, dragon crushing, hoard scattering."

>"I am the ghost, impervious yet influential to the world."
>>
No. 358312 ID: c7b6c2

Who we gonna call?

The paladins. Purifying, undead-slaying.
>>
No. 358313 ID: 72d8c7

I am the Lich, spirit manipulating, dead animating.

And if she answers with paladins, we say "love potion."
>>
No. 358314 ID: b1f0e2

>>358311
that was a very moe dragon
>>
No. 358315 ID: a2fa74

>>358312
Yep
>>
No. 358316 ID: 1854db

I am proper burial and respect for the dead, preventing ghosts from rising in the first place.
>>
No. 358317 ID: 5ed7bf

If anyone says love potion, I suggest at that point we initiate sloppy makeouts.

Just because.
>>
No. 358325 ID: 35bcde

>>358311
I am the rights for the dead. Preventing them from rising in the first place, calming those who have arisen and sending them to their final reward.
>>
No. 358326 ID: 78b9fc

Guys we're not going to win this one. Let's pretend to be a dwarf pretending to be an elf while we still have the upper hand.
>>
No. 358333 ID: d97c6d

>>358326
That's because we're not playing it right. We need to start exploiting his weaknesses until he stutters or hesitates or just can't wrap his little mind around a response to whatever we say. We need to start steering the game in a way that his only options are things he hates.

>>358313
Seconding this.
>>
No. 358356 ID: 6a5a08

>>358313
This.
>>
No. 358411 ID: c811c4
File 131872322439.png - (7.15KB , 600x600 , 161.png )
358411

"I am the lich, spirit manipulating, dead animating."

>"I am time, everlasting, bringing an end to all things."
>>
No. 358412 ID: 35e1a0

i am the overgod, at the end of everything i will begin anew.
>>
No. 358415 ID: 6a5a08

>>358412
this
>>
No. 358417 ID: 1854db

Whoa, wait. Liches are immortal. They don't give a fuck about time. That's a loss.
>>
No. 358418 ID: 6a5a08

>>358417
This, but if this doesn't work, the Overgod.
>>
No. 358420 ID: 78b9fc

I am the dream, waking up after the end of time.
>>
No. 358421 ID: 35bcde

>>358411
I am a Lich, immortal, phylactery-bearing, phylactery-changing. Time means nothing to me.
>>
No. 358422 ID: 5ed7bf

>>358417
Come on, we managed to 'kill' two as Chee. It's not that they're totally immortal at all times forever and can never die. Besides, I think his point is more nebulous than that – if given enough time, everything eventually ends or is ended.
>>
No. 358426 ID: 5ed7bf

>>358420
This. These are elves it is the kind of thing that will work perfectly. Also it's true.
>>
No. 358427 ID: 1854db

Except it is in fact not true. This is not a dream. That was a unique case for the old God of Chaos.
>>
No. 358428 ID: b79855

"I am brevity, and this has gone on too long."

Punch them in the face.

Tom: Enhance the strike with lightning and random transformative magic.
>>
No. 358429 ID: 5ed7bf

>>358427
Because elves are going to know that. It's airy-fairy enough to work
>>
No. 358431 ID: 78b9fc

>>358427

Or was it???
>>
No. 358432 ID: 6a5a08

I don't think we should use anything uncertain. If the Elder thinks Time doesn't lose against Liches, the overgod is a good solid argument with few things that could displace it.
>>
No. 358433 ID: a2fa74

>>358411
"I am brevity, soul of wit, saving time.
>>
No. 358434 ID: 6a5a08

>>358421
Also, we can't use the same argument twice.
>>
No. 358446 ID: 40cb26

>>358428
This, but but instead of punching, we rub up against them in a suggestive, sexy manner.

If that fails, then proceed with punching.
>>
No. 358454 ID: e4003e

>>358428
I like it.
>>
No. 358460 ID: c811c4
File 131873051846.png - (10.91KB , 600x600 , 162.png )
358460

"I am brevity, soul of wit, saving time and this has gone on for too long!"

>Punch him!

>"Gack! You- you fool! I am your superior!"

"What's that? That doesn't defeat brevity!"
>>
No. 358461 ID: c811c4
File 131873054477.png - (7.20KB , 600x600 , 163.png )
358461

"This match's point goes to Eliye Leafburrow, who also attains a penalty point for bad sportsmanship. Next up is a test of combat. Leafburrow, in what manner would you like to pit your combat against Thelirethelire?"
>>
No. 358463 ID: 1854db

Mud wrestling.
>>
No. 358465 ID: 742dac

Waffle slinging.
>>
No. 358467 ID: 3fd4fb

>>358461
Thumb wrestling.
>>
No. 358468 ID: 492153

>>358461
Pillow fight
>>
No. 358472 ID: 6a5a08

Hair wrestling.
>>
No. 358473 ID: 5ed7bf

Naked wrestling in honey!

Aaaa
>>
No. 358474 ID: a2fa74

>>358461
Sex-fu.

Since Tom's the one in control there's nothing our elf-puppet WON'T do, and we can go far beyond the boundaries of the other elf's willpower.
>>
No. 358477 ID: b57910

>>358473
>>
No. 358489 ID: bd7cc2

Tom's not in control, Muo is. I'm not sure she's experienced enough with non-slimes to win a game of sex-fu. Or even keep her concentration through one.
>>
No. 358490 ID: b6edd6

The answer is obvious:
Insult sword fighting.
>>
No. 358494 ID: 78b9fc

Tree chopping.
>>
No. 358496 ID: d7b78f

>>358494

Not much as far as combat goes.

But I do like the idea. "You don't want to fight me? If you do give up now, no tree will have to be felled."
>>
No. 358497 ID: 78b9fc

>>358496

Axe fighting? I'm still going after the Dorven angle here.
>>
No. 358498 ID: c04c0d

Lumberjack games.
>>
No. 358499 ID: d4155c

guys, guys there is a way to both show up the elves and promote the dwarves. Ask if it is possible to show your superiority by having someone due to the challenge for because you are a better leader than them.

We chose the dwarf, and then have a drinking contest.
>>
No. 358500 ID: a2fa74

>>358498
YES!
>>
No. 358501 ID: b1f0e2

I am 100% sure that lumberjacking would NOT be perceived as being superior, but as being INSANE to elfin society.
And sex will result in mou losing her concentration and connection. Not to mention her total inexperience in the field.
Whatever we do, we mustn't use bows, we will get our ass kicked...
Wrestling is all about technique which mou wouldn't have being a slime, but neither would her opponent being an elf. So its a fair bet, mud is more tasteful then some of the other suggestions.
>>
No. 358502 ID: 35e1a0

>>358501
mou is channeling tom. tom is the controller.
>>
No. 358505 ID: 5ed7bf

Muo, people.

Usually people can spell the names of major characters when they're three letters long, right?
>>
No. 358506 ID: b6edd6

>>358501
Insult sword fighting would also work for this. Our opponent seems fairly emotionally manipulable, and their swords are made of wood.
>>
No. 358509 ID: 5ed7bf

>>358506
"You are an uncultured Dwarf lumberjack, you smell of the destructive fermentation of our beloved fruits of the forest, and your mother slept with Goblins (no really)."
>>
No. 358512 ID: d4155c

Alright, in all fairness we should not be pushing our luck by doing the wood cutting. It may be flat out refused or we may be considered suspicious and found out due to the druid.

Second, insult fighting isn't going to work well in our regard because I'm pretty sure Muo wouldn't like half the stuff this jerk says.

Now another thing we can do is dwarf befriending contest. Her job is to have the dwarves do trading and stuff. It would be bloody easy for us, but impossible for her, yet she will do it anyways due to her supposed superiority.
>>
No. 358521 ID: 35e1a0

you guys all seem to be forgetting we need a COMBAT challenge AND tom is controlling the elf, muo is just a magical channel.
>>
No. 358525 ID: 5ed7bf

Well there's something like 4 separate suggestions involving wrestling, and I think at least one of them got a post of support.

So wrestling looks a likely choice regardless.
>>
No. 358536 ID: 78b9fc

>>358512

My idea was that we get caught but they think we're the dwarves. Uh... actually that's kind of a dumb idea. Whatever. If Tom can hold this control indefinitely, he can do plans that don't involve blaming the dwarves and skipping town. I hope Muo is doing OK...
>>
No. 358567 ID: c811c4
File 131877850215.png - (7.18KB , 600x600 , 164.png )
358567

>"What shall it be, Leafburrow?" the druid asks.

"THUMB WRESTLING."

>"You cannot be serious! Do you expect me to actually do such an act?!" Thelire asks.

"You're free to surrender!"

>"Absolutely not!"

This is the only wrestling I'll do. Stripping down is one thing, but going in a pool of mud to man-wrestle another elf is not what I had in mind when I took this god job!
>>
No. 358568 ID: c811c4
File 131877854676.png - (5.80KB , 600x600 , 165.png )
358568

His hand is womanly and wea -- oh wait that's my hand too. The druid pipes up.

>"Now that you have taken your positions, let's begin! 3, 2, 1, and fight!
>>
No. 358569 ID: 510737

>>358568
dodges and weave, then when they try to pin counter pin them.
>>
No. 358573 ID: 1854db

Don't just use your thumb. Move your arm around too!
>>
No. 358579 ID: c991a4

make the bone in his thumb disappear in an inconspicuous manner so he effectively has to wrestle a thumb-shaped tentacle.
>>
No. 358580 ID: 1854db

>>358579
Oh god. You mean 'our' thumb, right? That's genius.
>>
No. 358583 ID: dc4a44

This thumb of mine glows with an awesome power. Its burning thumbness tells me to defeat you. Take this! My love, ,my anger, and all of my sorrow! SHINING THUMB!
>>
No. 358601 ID: a2fa74

>>358579
No. Give THEM a hangnail.
>>
No. 358645 ID: 72d8c7

Bait him with a feint, then half-circle parry above him pin him. If he avoids this then adopt the Monkey-climbs-the-mountain stance, followed by consecutive half-lunge pirouettes to weaken his spirit. Wear him down until he fails to maintain his center, then finish him with a hook to his tip and dead-man's-slip.
>>
No. 358684 ID: 821814

Of the first two trials, it's fine to lose one, the ideal case would be to have the final round be the one to decide.

Lay your thumb down on his hand in an easily pinnable position. Smile at him calmly, see if you can't thereby seem the truly superior and also weird him out.

And if he doesn't take the bait, then things get really interesting.
>>
No. 358686 ID: e4003e

Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge
>>
No. 358823 ID: b57715

>>358579
thirding this with the power of all the gods, and also chi
>>
No. 358827 ID: 6a5a08

>>358579
You, sir, are a genius.
>>
No. 358848 ID: d60822

>>358579
>>358823
>>358827
Recall that we can't fuck with anyone who's not our follower.

I'm going with
>>358684
>>
No. 358862 ID: b1f0e2

>>358848
I agree with everything here. Including the downvote and upvote, as well as the reasoning on what we can't and can do.
>>
No. 358870 ID: 35bcde

>>358684
What? This is retarded. We punched him in the face and got a penalty point. The score is tied.
>>
No. 358871 ID: 35bcde

>>358870
Anyways, kiss him on the mouth. With tongue. Then pin him.
>>
No. 358875 ID: b1f0e2

>>358871
we will get another penalty point.
And tom is male and straight... although it IS an elf.
>>
No. 358876 ID: 8d038b

>>358871
i just want to upvote this even if tom would refuse.
>>
No. 359421 ID: eecb85

I agree with everyone saying the thing that Tom wouldn't want. Sorry Tom. Don't murder us! Can you murder us? DO WE EVEN EXIST?!
>>
No. 359777 ID: c52616

i upvote the tentacle finger plus a distraction like look beyond he's back like somthing terrifing is about to attack
>>
No. 359809 ID: c811c4
File 131921524833.png - (9.34KB , 600x600 , 166.png )
359809

>Tentacle thumb

Ew, geez, no, I'm not going to kiss him! I won't be able to get the mental taste of elf lips out for weeks! On the other hand, even my tentathumb is having trouble with this guy. Even taking the Monkey-Climbs-the-Mountain stance isn't getting him to falter, and his spirit is immune to half lunge pirouettes!
>>
No. 359810 ID: c811c4
File 131921526826.png - (8.62KB , 600x600 , 167.png )
359810

>Distraction!

"OH GOD LOOK BEHIND YOU."

>"No one would dare interrupt our competition! Have you lost all sportsmanship, Eliye?! To your own game, at that! Fight me like an elf!"

I've never seen a person take a thumb wrestling competition so seriously. A better distraction or something else is needed! But so long as I'm in control, there will be no elf smoochings!
>>
No. 359811 ID: d4537a

no distraction! concentrate!
>>
No. 359812 ID: 1854db

Taunt him. Say he thumb-wrestles like a dwarf.
>>
No. 359814 ID: e4003e

>>359810
Owl Bear- be behind the elf.
>>
No. 359817 ID: e3f578

Give the excuse of just trying to have some fun here. and "You got to admit, I know tactics, a little underhanded ones, but face it, I'm a bowman and scout surrounded by luscious trees, guerrilla warfare is my specialty."
>>
No. 359832 ID: 61e46c

Make a giant waffle in the sky drop on her face. It's the only way.
>>
No. 359838 ID: a2fa74

>>359810
"Ok."
Cast Flare on his eyes.
"You forgot my job is hiding in trees and putting arrows in the unaware, didn't you.
Special pleading, baby."
>>
No. 359849 ID: 6a5a08

>>359812
this
>>
No. 359882 ID: c811c4
File 131924555403.png - (4.68KB , 600x600 , 168.png )
359882

"You thumb wrestle like a dwarf!"

>"Ah?! Your words scathe! Why do you talk so?!"

"1234Iwinathumbwar!"
>>
No. 359884 ID: c811c4
File 131924562323.png - (8.20KB , 600x600 , 169.png )
359884

>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!"

This person is so sensitive.

>"Point, Leafburrow." the druid says. "You may choose the final challenge once more, Leafburrow, but Thelirethelire must agree to it."
>>
No. 359886 ID: e3f578

Dance off
Thelirethelire you're gonna get served
>>
No. 359893 ID: 35bcde

>>359892
Stripping contest in front of the entire clan! Tribe. Village.
>>
No. 359894 ID: 61e46c

>>359893
City. Region. Country. Continent. Planet. Solar System. Galaxy. UNIVERSE.
>>
No. 359899 ID: 35bcde

>>359893
Allow me to explain. A strip dance requires you to be in peak physical condition, both for physical attractiveness and to to meet the demands of the dance itself.

It requires creativity, skill, rhythm, and timing to create an excellent routine and to match the music.

It requires charisma and the ability to gauge the interest of the audience and adaptability to maintain it. These three, in particular, are areas in which our erstwhile leader has shown himself to be sorely lacking.
>>
No. 359901 ID: 8f91c9

Naked rapping, mud wrestling
Or a "Your mama" off

OHOHOHOHOH
OR DWARF TOSSING
>>
No. 359903 ID: 6a5a08

There is only one option.
Alcoholic Tree Sap Drinking Contest.
Because Elves need to loosen up somehow.
>>
No. 359904 ID: 3fd4fb

>>359901
>OR DWARF TOSSING
This must happen.

Alternately, call it a test of leadership, and first one to get the dwarves to agree to something wins. With our nonlinear thought patterns, we'll surely have better methods.
>>
No. 359905 ID: 1854db

Drinking contest.
>>
No. 359913 ID: f70e5e

>>359904
this, oh god this. granted what we are trying to get them to agree to should probably be set ahead of time, but this would be so much fun.
>>
No. 359918 ID: 78b9fc

>>359904

And our willingness to supply fermented beverage. Whoever can get the dwarves to do something wins. There's no way this can go wrong!
>>
No. 359924 ID: b1f0e2

>>359904
this is not a test of leadership but a test of diplomacy!

First, this is what the very argument was started about in the first place,

Second, our opponent honestly believes himself to be a superior diplomat to us! He would actually agree (recall he has to agree) to such a contest.
>>
No. 359926 ID: 8d038b

Drunk dwarf-tossing diplomacy dance-off!

I like the diplomacy idea thing. It's not particularly crazy but it would pretty much solidify our win.
>>
No. 359981 ID: 8f0a51

>>359904
This.
>>
No. 360500 ID: 4b0207

>>359904
Yes. That's a great idea. First one to get the dwarf to agree to something wins.

then get him to agree to a war.
>>
No. 360502 ID: 4b0207

>>360500
correction. not war. bare hands no-shirt fistfight among both armies.
>>
No. 360506 ID: e3f578

Okay yeah I got a new option
who's the best lay
the druid is obviously the judge here so she should totally get up on this contest, this is how real superior elves operate. Well a stripping contest for the druid for basic foreplay then we start rocking in bed with real advanced foreplay then the real fun starts while damn good love music is playing in the background, then while all that is happening we have to make the dwarf agree to something.

THis is how real diplomats work. Selling yourself out, Sex scandals, and charming the pants off with foreign relations. We're going all out showign off all of the diplomacy skills at the same time to prove, once and for all who is the most treedamn superior.
>>
No. 361189 ID: c811c4
File 131963632009.png - (19.72KB , 600x600 , 170.png )
361189

Okay, it's an incredibly hard choice between the stripping contest between what I am beginning to suspect are two male elves, and a diplomacy contest.

After a whole lot of brainstorming, I've decided, by just a smidgen of a hair, for diplomacy. It was a reaaaaal tough choice, and I'm not being sarcastic. Not. At. All.
>>
No. 361191 ID: c811c4
File 131963659975.png - (9.56KB , 600x600 , 171.png )
361191

"I propose the test of diplomacy! The first one to get the dwarf to agree to something wins!"
>"Ha! You wish to beat me at my own game! You are getting cocky, young fool! Prepare to have your apples rotted! Your ego served a platter of coal! Your "sense" of "superiority" a "health" "dose" of "wa--"

>"Ye gods, elves! Bring me some booze, an' I'll agree to anythin'! Jus' bring me a keg! Even a mug will do!"

I'm going to pre-empt the obvious answer and say no, I will not cast a spell of Summon Booze. There is a such thing as too easy! At least when it comes to other people.
>>
No. 361193 ID: 63cf7a

>>361191
"Tell this jerk what you think of him and I'll have the guards bring something up from your caravan. Or the nearest settlement if you're *shudder* out."
>>
No. 361194 ID: 1854db

>>361191
I wish we could get some of that booze from the goblin tower. I mean, only the dwarf would be drinking it, but still, could be amusing. Oh well!

Start running! We gotta find whatever passes for a pub around here. I'm sure elves have alcohol of some sort.
>>
No. 361208 ID: e3f578

>>361191
"Aww man Dwarf, where's the challenge in that. This diplomat is so shortsighted and prejudiced he wouldn't even try to suit both yours and his needs, just his. And if he does, he's selling out his previous opinions. Meanwhile, I'm clever enough to actually try to get booze without offending anybody, so just a sec, got to go try."

ask the druid if we have a form of making alcohol similarly to the way we're able to manufacture tables and arrows, or if we could start anyway. it'll solve that question anyway. Admit you've forgotten if it was magically manufactured or what else it could be. Are soylent tables people?
>>
No. 361224 ID: 35e1a0

our elf should have better speed because of his hunting ability, while this other guy apparently lives in the town. to the booze fast!
>>
No. 361225 ID: e88782

there probably no booze in the elvs settlement, better run to the goblin tower
>>
No. 361232 ID: c811c4
File 131965255292.png - (7.58KB , 600x600 , 172.png )
361232

"Druid! Is there a pub? At all? Some humane way of making beer?"
>"No, to finish this contest, it seems you must convince the dwarf otherwise, or commit a terrible atrocity in the name of victory."
"And the tables and stuff?"
>"They are alive by magic. The furniture and houses are people too. You should know this."
>>
No. 361234 ID: c811c4
File 131965265552.png - (9.07KB , 600x600 , 173.png )
361234

This is the most stupid, most insane... either we race to the goblin tower, or we make booze with, quote, inhumane methods to save on time!

Our competition is trying to convince the dwarf to agree to something, anything, without booze. It doesn't seem to be working, but if I were in the dwarf's spot, I may agree to something just to shut the elf up if we take too long.
>>
No. 361235 ID: 35e1a0

"dwarf, do you agree that this other elf is dumb?"
>>
No. 361236 ID: 3fd4fb

>>361234
"So dwarf, you want alcohol, am I right?"

When he says yes he has agreed with your statement and you win.
>>
No. 361238 ID: c811c4
File 131965387577.png - (9.77KB , 600x600 , 174.png )
361238

"Sooooo dwarf, would you agree this other elf is dumb?"
>"BOOOOOZE ye nitwitted, gallavantin tree huggin' snot nosed elf! I said I want some BOOOZE."
"So you want alcohol, am I right?"
>"Do those oversized ears have a use. elf?! O' co-- OHHHH ye dang blasted elf! I see yer wily game! Ye won't get a word outta me ya flute tootin' leaf kisser!"
>>
No. 361239 ID: 35e1a0

"well then i'll hold you to that, if i get back and you already agreed with this other guy to just shut him up i'll be very cross because i would have no one to give the booze to." then send him running to the goblins.
>>
No. 361240 ID: 35e1a0

>>361239
by him i mean our elf.
>>
No. 361246 ID: 035e7f

>>361239
upvote
>>
No. 361248 ID: e3f578

You got any gold on you? ask if there's a chaos mage nearby and tell you've heard of a spell that summons booze, requiring no loss of life somewhere. In fact, say the goblin tower with the elf/goblin orgy in it that you scouted away from your regular route has said magical humane chaos conjured booze in it.

I know you said you'd make it a challenge or not that simple, so if we find an old descendant or a new deciple we advice souls don't know it yet, then that still counts as a challenge.

Wait, no say "All right, Mr. Dwarf, you win. There's no booze in this elven settlement obviously due to our cultural taboos, but remember that tower I reported, the one with the gobbo-elf orgy taking place? It's the closest place I know and the booze was conjured by a chaos mage, so I won't piss off my elven friends if I give you that booze. Agree to go with me to go get your booze, winning me the contest, and I'll take you there myself. I saw that it was spiked with aphrodisiacs but you said you didn't give a damn about the size so who cares about getting laid if you get your drink. If you want to get laid that much after, I treat you to a brothel as well so you don't have to choose from just the elves and goblins there."
>>
No. 361297 ID: 72d8c7

If he's a trader, shouldn't he have a caravan with some of the stuff in it?

We could, you know, try legitimate diplomacy. Reason, logic, appeal and that sort of stuff.

Reason to him how booze isn't the travesty these elves think it is. Ask him if he agrees that nature provides fruits and grains readily to others as a gift, and fermentation is a perfectly natural occurrence.
>>
No. 361303 ID: 78b9fc

>>361248

Currently Tom has only one disciple. This strategy will have to wait until Tom has too many to keep count of.
>>
No. 361316 ID: e3f578

>>361303
But not the strategy in the dialog! We can still take the dwarf down to the tower and get him drunk!
>>
No. 361320 ID: b1f0e2

>>361297
>trader
hey... dwarves are greedy little stubby things that LOVES GOLD and LOVES GEMS...

Go with that... I just want to trade with you, would you sell me for some gold!
>>
No. 361326 ID: 1444d5

>>361297
>fermentation is a perfectly natural occurrence
That's a good point. Just find some overripe fruit, e.g. apples, that have begun to ferment.
>>
No. 361329 ID: 4bdd79

I have an idea!

Let's make mead! It's made with honey, which is gathered without harming anything (if done properly) and therefore safe for elves!
>>
No. 361334 ID: b1f0e2

>>361326
You are right, there are naturally occurring fermentation. Although collecting it properly is going to be difficult.

>>361329
Excellent point! mead is fermented honey.
You could also ferment milk for alcohol.

Offer a mead trade agreement to the dwarf, where you produce and sell mead. The elves get to save the poor hops from being boiled alive. The dwarves get inexpensive alcohol. By supplying them with a humane elven alternative the dwarves end up producing less beer themselves, thus saving poor hops and barely plants.
>>
No. 361444 ID: c811c4
File 131974224523.png - (9.43KB , 600x600 , 175.png )
361444

Of course, mead!

"Dwarf, how about I propose trade routes with mead! Us elves can do that without harming plants, and you can get the first swig of the deal!"
>..... "AGRREEEED!"

>"Very good, Eliye!" The druid starts talking. "We had never thought of making mead, I do hope you can learn the recipe, and that it is true what you say. With this, us elves may yet have an agreeable trade with the dwarves! With this, I declare Eliye Leafburrow to be.... SUP---"
>>
No. 361446 ID: c811c4
File 131974234651.png - (17.07KB , 600x600 , 176.png )
361446

>"HEY SLIMEGIRL HEY HEY HEY!"

Concentration Broke!

>"There you are! Haha, you've been staring blankly at the trees for a long time. It's a good thing you left, the real second demon came back, and wow was he pissed right off! You probably shouldn't come back. In faaact, you should probably hide and hang low for a good while. Don't worry, the elves left beforehand, and we'll be alright. By the way, you taste really good. What were you doing out here anyway?!"
>>
No. 361447 ID: 1854db

Oh dear, she's all diluted.

Tom, you should thank your faithful servant for channeling you for so long by dumping flour and sugar on her. Y'know, to thicken her up. Not to imply that she needs to become a cake or anything.
>>
No. 361448 ID: 1854db

>>361447
You know what I changed my mind. You should try to make her into a chocolate cake slime.
>>
No. 361449 ID: a2fa74

>>361446
"I'm not gonna worry about the demon so long as everybody else is cool with it.
How's the first demon? He drown or anything?"
>>
No. 361459 ID: bde240

d'aww, she's like mudcake.
>>
No. 361475 ID: c811c4
File 131974913810.png - (12.21KB , 600x600 , 177.png )
361475

I'll pass that on to Muo.

>"I uh.. was doing stuff. Nothing important! I won't worry about the second demon. Did the first demon drown?"
>"Nnnope! He's asleep, but very much alive. You smell delicious too, you know? Like cake." the goblin says.

>Ah! I'm solidifying a bit, like icing! And.. wait, it sounded like we sealed a nice deal between dwarves and elves, and actually helped their relations. Wasn't I supposed to be doing the opposite?

.... fffffffffffff
>>
No. 361477 ID: c811c4
File 131974918255.png - (17.01KB , 600x600 , 178.png )
361477

un times still. Oh well. Wasn't that important! I'll just uh.. do other things.

"Are you done, Tom? The wine is out, and I'm getting lonely over here in this poorly established plane of existence!"

Yep, we're done here. Till next time!
>>
No. 361481 ID: 1854db

>>361477
:Dc

Looks like the God of chaos and trickery just got tricked! We're good guys, Tom. Remember that.
>>
No. 361485 ID: a2fa74

>>361477
Turn yourself into a house with a white picket fence. You can make your own body a limb and move it around inside.

OR you could actually spruce the place up so Minci has a nice place to live.

OR you make this place into minecraft and let Minci easily design and decorate it however she likes. That would probably be best.
>>
No. 361486 ID: 0a0ee9

>>361481
That may be true for you but I think it's more we got so caught up trying to win against that other elf we forgot what we where there for.
>>
No. 361489 ID: d97c6d

>>361477
Wait we were supposed to be causing trouble? Sorry, we got distracted by the oddly enjoyable task of proving our superiority to a stuck up elf. Look on the bright side, though, the plan resulting in something like that happening means we have the chaos thing down.
>>
No. 361490 ID: b1f0e2

while the mead trade agreement gives a SMALL measure of order in stopping a potential war between dwarves and elves. War has to be minor for it to be to our advantage, since a war over the dwarves ability to drink would result in the complete destruction of one side.

Furthermore, by giving the elves a ready supply of alcohol which is not against their moral code we open the door to much alcohol based shenanigans within their society. This is something we can and should follow up upon.
>>
No. 361506 ID: 3fd4fb

Establishing successful trade between the dwarves and elves actually does create chaos, not order- anything which increases contact between wildly different cultures is going to cause change in both of them. The only thing we have to worry about when trying to create chaos is leaving the status quo intact.

Which means that we succeeded with the dwarves and elves, but not with the goblins, if the demons are still in charge there and not changing things significantly. Unless by going and hanging out and being awesome Muo managed to convert some of them to chaos-worshippers, in which case we win.
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No. 361510 ID: e3f578

>>361477
Tom, your not thinking in long terms. On top of causing an incredible amount of insubordination, we completely turned a scout and diplomat's life around! Who knows how the real Leaf guy will react! In fact, let's peek in on his life when you return, just without mind control. You can peek in on people, right?
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No. 361540 ID: b6edd6

Well that's how Chaos goes. You win some, you have some end up in ways nobody could have suspected.
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No. 361595 ID: f70e5e

choas is change, the relations between the dwarfs and the elves have certainly done that. also this means dwarves and elves are going to be coming into contact more. I think we should adopt braking the elves sense of superiority as a pet project.
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No. 361605 ID: 78b9fc

Ya fucked up Tom. Got caught up in winning the game when your goal is to make it interesting not to win. Still resulted in a moderate amount of chaos. Who knew you could get elves to agree that stuff actually decays?
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No. 361614 ID: 35bcde

We just dramatically changed the elves relations with both Goblins and Dwarves, changed their leadership, and who knows what the additional aftereffects of the party will be.

Also, war is actually the status-quo between elves and dwarves and goblins. We sacrificed small-scale chaos for some potentially very long-term changes.
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