Why is that cat not in the cage?

>>55948

Everyone else is having sex, so it's your job to get shit done! Now get up off your shapely ass and let's get to work!

Why is everyone sleeping all the time! Is there not work to be done? I swear, yo uguys are worse than dwarves.

Don't have anything to do? New Task: Carve a statue. A big one for the main hall. It'll be a statue of you 'freeing' the kobolds. It will menace with spikes of stone and hang with rings of stone. Chop Chop Girl. Jesus christ. How can you expect to attract migrants when you don't even have the basics of fortress value?

Goddamn get your lazy tits up off the ground and put that cat in the cage before it gets out of control!
We need to find shit to make beds out of, they're just sleeping on the floor apparently.

>>55954

This. The cats deserve proper cat beds.

Nako 2009/10/03(Sat)05:20 No. 56045 ID: b1e366
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>>55953
I don't know how to carve that. Give me something simpler.

>>56045
A goblin lifting her skirt.

How about a goblin killing a dwarf? or a goblin standing on a pile dorf skulls?

carve yourself, naked.

>>56045
It's obvious, isn't it. Make a statue of goblins and goblins and goblins. The goblins are laboring. The goblins are laboring. The goblins are laboring. Decorate it with bands of stone and spikes of stone.

>>56045
a statue of you mating with the kobolds.

That's right, nako. We know.

We've always known.

Or carve Amxu's babbies

>>56052
hey yeah. The first children of the fortress. How inspiring.

>>56053
You dont have to do things just to impress people >:|

Nako 2009/10/03(Sat)06:40 No. 56055 ID: b1e366
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>goblin standing on a pile dorf skulls.
>Yourself, naked.

How about a compromise?

Hell yeah. That'd give me good thoughts walking past any day.

Ummm... you did carve it in the main hall, right? You're not going to have to drag it out there now, are you?

>>56055
More than acceptable, madam

Pahfekt x3

Now... can we encrust it with jewels or bones or shells or something?

She's not a dorf, I'm surprised it came out that good looking. Asking her to encrust it with stuff will probably just end with accidentally breaking off something.

>>56055
Have you thought about making small statues to sell to some merchant? You're quite good at this.

Nako 2009/10/03(Sat)08:30 No. 56066 ID: b1e366
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Hehe... Oh thank you.

>>56066
Great! Switch control to Atu!

>>56066

D'awww, you sure are cute when you blush. <3

Atu 2009/10/03(Sat)09:38 No. 56070 ID: b1e366
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>>56067
...from screaming for help.

>>56070

That was a quickie.

It sure was.

What are you doing to that 'bold Atu?

strip naked

>>56072
>>56073
You could've easily combined those two posts you made there, pal.

If you were trying to samefag or something like that, it doesn't work here.

>>56074
nice job making a useless post to point how im making a double post.
Really giving a great example there, pall.

Alternatively, check out the statue Nako made.

Atu 2009/10/03(Sat)10:31 No. 56080 ID: b1e366
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I'm whipping the kobolds into shape because they're squishy wimps.

That's in there nature Atu. They're natural born sneakers, not fighters. Jakus not withstanding for having both characteristics.

Go do something constructive with Stozo, go be a pregnant, badass, dwarf-killing machine. That's right, lets clear out another fortress.

>>56080
I don't see a whip anywhere.
Run them around a track for an hour, then get them started on making padded balls with rocks in the center and have them play dodgeball.
It should increase killer instinct, aim, competiveness, and fitness.

Teach them, reward them with noserubs. I bet they'll be more motivated then.

Do focus on sneaky fighting though.

Atu 2009/10/03(Sat)11:02 No. 56089 ID: b1e366
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>clear out another fortress.

But I'm so small and in such delicate condition... Should I really be killing dorfs right now?

Brilbis: HRRRRNGGHHH~!

>>56089
>delicate condition
Elaborate.

>>56092
Her eggo is preggo.

get the boys to make you and the other girls a bathhouse, you deserve more than to be dirty or to have to leave the fortress to bathe

Are you calling yourself weak and vulnerable? That is not the Atu way!

KILL, MAIM, RAPE!

All the better you will be able to use those violent mood swings to kill more dorfs

Atu 2009/10/03(Sat)13:18 No. 56129 ID: b1e366
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I guess I'm not totally washed up. What's the plan?

Brilbis: NRGH! HRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN! GAAAAAAAH!

>>56129
Gather the kobolds and grab your weapon TONIGHT WE HUNT
also look for the kobold who keeps refering to himself as Solid Snake, he appears to have what it takes to be TOUGH.

Bring the new father. He can sacrifice himself for the gods now.

Being fatherless will make his children vengeful against the dwarves and slaughter more.

Ozud 2009/10/03(Sat)13:38 No. 56136 ID: b1e366
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What was that? I just got a horrible chill up my spine...

I WAS referring to Stozo, as the children have been have actually been born. But this is much better, you can get Ozud back for the sneak sex. And he is credit to team.

Stozo's just stronger.

Atu 2009/10/03(Sat)14:57 No. 56172 ID: b1e366
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I have some cat leather armor that menaces with spikes of cat bone, a steel sword and a mess load of kobolds with copper knives. What am I raiding today!?

>>56172
Someone else's fridge. To the nearest town!

>>56172
Maybe a caravan

>>56172
1. Lay an ambush in a forest near the dorf fort
2. have a bold sneak in and aggro/pull a dorf to the forest
3. ???
4. PROFIT!
5. rinse and repeat

Atu 2009/10/03(Sat)15:47 No. 56212 ID: b1e366
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>>56190
A little closer...

Dorf: GET BACK HERE, YE DAMN VERMIN!

Tisliris: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Have the rest of them ambush the dorf.

lay in an ambush, let the 'bold lure him to your army of minnions.

Atu 2009/10/03(Sat)16:22 No. 56257 ID: b1e366
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And miss out on the fun part?

Loot the dorf, bathe in his blood!

How are the kobolds gonna learn anything this way though?

Atu 2009/10/03(Sat)16:37 No. 56288 ID: b1e366
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They'll learn in a minute...

ALL THE DORFS: S-SHOES!

oh shit oh shit, let's try setting up another ambush, real quick, hopefully none of those are military dorfs.

Wait, if we have a way to set the shoes on fire we should do so, so the dorfs will burn up one at a time as they pick them up, this will hopefully cause a tantrum spiral as they start to die off, and we can walk right in to the empty fortress uncontested!

>>56288
wait til the dorfs get in the forest and it on fire

Atu 2009/10/03(Sat)18:28 No. 56423 ID: b1e366
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I KNOW, I KNOW! C'mon... Light! Gods help us! Xom, you owe me one!

Xom 2009/10/03(Sat)18:49 No. 56557 ID: b1e366
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Tsk, tsk... You can't light a leather shoe with a flint and steel... or can you?

[Xom tinkers with the fabric of reality.]

THIS WILL BE TOO HILARIOUS TO PASS UP!

>>56557
Thats our Xom

>>56557
Aww, Xom. We missed you. Thanks for the light, bro.

Dorf Mob 2009/10/03(Sat)19:11 No. 56575 ID: b1e366
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RETURN THE SHOE TO THE SHOE STOCKPILE! RIGHT NEXT TO THE WOOD STOCKPILE AN' THE HIGH PROOF RUM STOCKPILE!

Fuck yes Xom you are the best Xom!

>Xom.

Son, I am dissapoint.

Well, that was easy.

Well, that was easy.

Now, we must make a choice. Do we stay where we are and get the best view of the explosion, but likely burn a couple kobolds in the process, or do we retreat to a nearby hill to watch the fireworks?

Atu 2009/10/03(Sat)23:42 No. 56730 ID: b1e366
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>retreat to a nearby hill to watch the fireworks

They've been running around like this for hours. It's so pretty~

>>56730
Awww, how romantic. Too bad Ozud isn't here.

wait till all the dorfs have burned out, then loot the fuck out of their fortress

Atu 2009/10/04(Sun)08:37 No. 56847 ID: b1e366
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I hope there's some stragglers... It wouldn't be very fun if they were all stupid enough to die this easily.

look for the valuables and survivers, take everything of use. and of course make the 'bolds carry it all back to our fort.

Atu 2009/10/04(Sun)09:04 No. 56852 ID: b1e366
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Dorf: All dead... No beer left... Who's gonna make tha' beer now? It's been two hours without a drink... Can'na last much longer.

Think you can take him?
Dont put yourself at risk if you dont have to. And if he hasnt noticed you, you could try ambushing him.

>>56854
Or you could shadow him and watch his descent into insanity.


Well, more insanity.

>>56852
another choice is to get him to work for you in exchange for gobbo beer.

He has a huge battleaxe. I think your best bet is to make like a spah: sneak up behind him and backstab him for a one-hit-kill.

Find a way to lock him in chains or a cage. Take him to the Kennels. Use BEER to train him. Ride around on tame dwarf and use him to dig stuff faster back at base.

>>56852
Tell the dorf he's not really a dorf but a goblin and his infiltration into the fortress worked perfectly.

Atu 2009/10/04(Sun)12:48 No. 56987 ID: b1e366
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I'll just shank him... I don't know if we'd be able to get him in a cage even if we knew where one was...

(Gnoll changed battle modes, again)

No. he will be a valuable ally! Go see if youo can find a brewery. Make some beer, and use it to turn the dorf to our side.

Also: Look for dorven babbies.

Um, yeah, I think we should just stab him in the kidneys.

Up this close we need to either kill him with 1 strike.
Slit his throat or something, we dont want to put you in any danger if you dont have to be, also maybe its a good idea to put on your armor.

Atu 2009/10/04(Sun)16:05 No. 57255 ID: b1e366
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>just stab him in the kidneys.
>Slit his throat or something

Sounds like a good pl-

"DELICIOUS ALCOHOL!"

OH SHIT

RUN

RUN

RUN

>>57255
Tactical retreat! You've been disarmed. Get some kobolds to help you so you can get the sword back and kill him.

RUN! Go find the armory and equip all the bolds with crossbows and bolts; TONIGHT WE HUNT!!!

Atu 2009/10/04(Sun)16:38 No. 57320 ID: b1e366
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AIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!

>>57320
RUN AWAY YOU FAT PREGNANT COW

>>57320
RUN ATU
GODDAMNIT YOU'RE TOO ADORABLE TO DIE HERE
;-;

Dodge that shit you crazy bitch!

Roll to the side.

inb4 last minute save by Ozud!

Yell for some bolds to jump him

>>57320

Jakus, perform a rolling takedown.

I blame drugs

DAMNIT GNOLL