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535298 No. 535298 ID: 4652c9

>This will be a multiple-choice style text quest, a la /tg/, because I've wanted to see if I could do one for a long time. If it doesn't work I'll probably just add images.

Baron Samedi, great loa of death, wakes up and his skull is trying to push its way out of his head, from all directions. Not the pallid death's head he paints on every day with wet, clayed bone powder, no. Baron Samedi, great loa of death, is hungover.

“Fucking fuck,” he says.

He rolls over off the bed and hits the floor, hard.
“Fucking FUCK,” he says.
Last night's rum tips off the low ramshackle nightstand and splatters all over him. It pools in his tall, kinked hat and rubs away more of the already flaking chalk-gaunt skull from his face.

“Augh. Glasses.” His skinny, ebony hands palpate across the floor. “Wha. Where are my glasses.”

His wife Maman Brigitte groans in her sleep and turns over, gathering the coarsespun bedclothes around her willowy shoulders. She is very beautiful, even for a loa. Her skin is cocoa-warm and smooth. That doesn't stop him from chasing every ass, mortal and otherwise, he can find along the way.

How could it? He is the Baron.

You stand in the doorway, watching your boss try to keep his lunch down.
You look down at your skull-stamped, inkblack combat boots. By your right heel is a pair of gold foil aviators. You look back at the Baron, making a coattailed fool of his damn self on the floor.

[a] Silently kick the Baron his aviators
[b] “These yours, sir?”
[c] “You look like a big idiot spider down there, bossman.”
[d] Fill in the blank
227 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 546132 ID: 0173d9

You back away from the waving bayonet. You cast your mind into the spirit realm.
"Loa who watch over everybody, hear my plea.
Loa. Hey.
Yo. Loa."

"SORRY. Sorry." You think that's Agwe's voice on the other side, he of the paddling chair and the quick wit. "LaCroix? That you, frere?"

"You got it. Agwe?"
"The same. What can I do you for?"
"Take a look out my eyes for a moment."
You feel Agwe budge into your head, and take a peek out of your skull.
"That's no good."
"You're telling me."
"Is that your girl, LaCroix?"
"At times."
"Why not just torch the gentleman?"
"I'd sooner spare him and that fancy rope of his."
"Well, let's see. You want him to drop it, then, no?"
"I wouldn't be opposed."
"A distraction might be in order, then, boy, if you don't want to set the man himself on fire. Those holy books and such he's standing on. They look mighty flammable, don't they?"
"You're suggesting I burn a book of Bondye in his own house?"
"I'm suggesting maybe Bondye would let this one slide, if you're giving Mr. Murder there the hot foot."

[a] See if you can set the books at Julian's feet on fire.
[b] That's a dumb idea, Agwe.
>>
No. 546135 ID: 7bbaae

>>546132
A'ight. A.
>>
No. 546190 ID: d2995c

[A]. I hear Bondye approves of being merciful, so he'd probably be sympathetic to attempts to avoid just killing the man.
>>
No. 546192 ID: d2b9fe

A, but still complain with B. (It's not as if you have a better idea after all, bad as this one is).
>>
No. 546279 ID: c1f19a

"Hmmmm. It's a bad option, but it's better than what I came up with, which was running and trying to set up an ambush."

Do it.
>>
No. 546462 ID: 0b54f4

Huh; advice wasn't quite what I would have expected out of "supplication", (thought it was more of a Deus ex Machina thing), but whatever. I guess do it.
>>
No. 546601 ID: c1f19a

>>546462
What, you seriously expect the loa to just do miracles when mundane advice will serve? That's greedy thinking, frere.
>>
No. 546660 ID: 01531c

>>546601
>What, you seriously expect the loa to just do miracles when mundane advice will serve? That's greedy thinking, frere.

You just resolved many IRL years of religious confusion. Seriously, thank you!
>>
No. 546691 ID: c1f19a

>>546660
As an atheist my general religious advice on the topic of miracles is to look up and understand 'confirmation bias.'
>>
No. 546699 ID: a3ec46

"That's dumb, Agwe."
"Shut up and try it, fou. Dodge left."
You twist round just in time for Diajua's bayonet to punch through your chest and in between two ribs. She stabs you about four more times before you break away and she realizes that's not really doing anything to a man made all of bones.
You're a big man, and used to getting knocked around a little, so by the time the rifle butt connects with your stomach you,re ready, and you use the crushing momentum of it to drop prone, sticking the fire wand awkwardly between your knees.
With a snap of your wrist and a fuzzy pop of energy out the tip of your branch, the bibles at Julian's feet burst into flame, and immediately start climbing up his pantleg. The fire's hungry, but it's eating on the leather and paper, not the man himself. He'll live.
He squawks like a hopping grey gull, though, and as he tries desperately to shimmy the fire away, the cord in his hand snaps taut and then slacks as his fingers fumble. It's wrapped still around his wrist, but his grip has slackened.
Diajua freezes above you, the tip of the bayonet inches from your eyesocket. She wavers back and forth.

[a] Push Diajua over and onto Julian. She'll forgive you. Probably.
[b] Scramble past Diajua and try to wrestle the cord away from Julian.
[c] Cut his arm off. Just because you want to spare him doesn't mean it'll be in one piece.
[d] Violence is not the answer! Try to talk him into handing the cord over!
[e] __________
>>
No. 546704 ID: e31ca1

>>546699
C. No real reason not to, it will subdue him much faster than anything else, even if he doesn't feel pain for some reason. Looks like he does, though. So it will be even more effective!
>>
No. 546707 ID: 6924b8

D.
"Hombre, I'll just get on outta here if you'll quit messing with Diajaua! Knowing where to go next would be mighty nice though!"
>>
No. 546708 ID: e31ca1

>>546699
C. No real reason not to, it will subdue him much faster than anything else, even if he doesn't feel pain for some reason. Looks like he does, though. So it will be even more effective!
>>
No. 546712 ID: c16a16

Arms are a total pain in the ass to hack off, especially with, what, that sword? That you don't even know how to use properly? Total waste of time and effort.

B) Wrestle the cord off him, or E) cut through the cord.
>>
No. 546714 ID: d2b9fe

Push her over. She gave you a beating, she can take a little indignity.

...remember to apologize, out loud, to Bondye after this fight is over.
>>
No. 546723 ID: e8840e

>>546712
Seconding this one.
>>
No. 546918 ID: c1f19a

Pushing our girlfriend on a guy standing on burning books seems like a bad move. Trying to hack off his arm is hard because it's a small, moving target unless we pin the rest of him. If he was prone to behaving nicely because we ask him to that would have already happened and we wouldn't be facing this particular confrontation.
So, by process of elimination we're left with wrestling him, or coming up with a write-in. The sanest write-in we've got so far (and are likely to get) is to chop up the rope, but do we want to do that?
>>
No. 546953 ID: 79d6da

You pirouette past your stunned sweetheart and neatly sever the cord around her wrist.
It might have been nice to keep the thing for yourself, but the vodou snaps to nothing and the spell is instantly broken.

Diajua drops to her knees, cussing the air blue.

Julian falls flat on his kiester, the fire still lapping at his leg.

[a] Help put the fire out and pull him to his feet.
[b] Give him a face full of fist.
[c] Give him a gut full of steel.
[d] Give him a stern earful.
[e] ____________
>>
No. 546954 ID: 7bbaae

>>546953
ABD.
>>
No. 546960 ID: c1f19a

>>546954
Yeah, that roughly covers it, although the violence against him should be mostly goal-oriented instead of emotionally-oriented. Also, we haven't put out the fire or apologized to Bondye yet.
>>
No. 546962 ID: 79d6da

You pull Julian to his feet and knock him back down to the floor with one bony fist. He collapses senseless to the floor as you grind the smoldering pages into the stone beneath one silvershod bootheel.
"Sorry, Big Man," you mutter.

Diajua mantles to her feet and stumbles to your side. "That was unpleasant." She kicks Julian in the ribs. He rolls over and moans.

"Crusty old bag of bones," says Diajua.
"I could levy the same charges at you, ma belle," you say.
"Not if you value your coccyx." Diajua gives you a light slap on the tailbone. "Let's finish this and get some skin back on you."

[a] Take Julian and dump him at the hospital.
[b] Take Julian and dump him in the river.
[c] Leave Julian here for his dissatisfied audience and jet.
>>
No. 546972 ID: 6924b8

A-but ask him why he tried to control the girl. We HAD gotten the point and would have left at that point.
>>
No. 546975 ID: c16a16

A. We need some answers. Yet, as much as wringing answers out of him may help, save question time for when you're all at the hospital. Plenty of company outside, remember?
>>
No. 546977 ID: fc937d

a. We want to find out how the heck he was able to do that, which means we need him alive to question.
>>
No. 547024 ID: c1f19a

Take him to the hospital and question him, yeah. It seems we may need to get his brother to help him cough up useful details, or him to make his brother cough up useful details--either way.
>>
No. 547033 ID: d2995c

[A], but first check him for any other tricks he might have hidden on him.
>>
No. 547086 ID: 5aa752

>>547033
Don't check him, ask him. We can detect lies, remember?
>>
No. 547090 ID: fc937d

>>547086
Oh, yeah, that's right. Which means he was either being completely truthful (or at least believed what he was saying) with all the crazy talk before.
>>
No. 547176 ID: 82550a

"Why did you have to go and do that rope trick of yours, homme?"

You lean in and look at his bruising face, as Diajua hauls him through the streets. The remnants of his magic cord bind his hands and feet.
He turns away from you, sullen and quiet.
"We'd gotten the message," you say. "We were going to leave."

"You were trying to stop the happening," Julian says. "You'll ruin everything."

"What will we ruin?"

He says nothing.

"You got any more trinkets on you, homme?"
"No," he says.

"FFFFUCKING LIES YOU'RE A CLEFTFACE LYING FUCKBLOSSOM YOU PUKING WORM TURD FUCK." Your pocket vibrates and howls.
You hold up a hand. "Hold on, Diajua. I'mma frisk the fou."
Diajua stops and turns around. "We pulling his pants down?"
"It's not in my pants," protests Julian.
"IT IS"
"Listen, homme--"
"IT IS AND HE'S A LLLLYING PILE OF GREAT APE SPUNK COOLING IN A SHIT-CAKED..."
"Listen, homme," you say, furiously open-palm thwacking your coat pocket. "It'll be easier if you just tell me where it is."
"Damn you, loa."
"A few have, frere. It never sticks."
"Down the cuff of my pants," he says. "A card."

You pluck a playing card from the sewn cuff of his pants. Looks like a joker card. Idiot-looking fella riding a bicycle.
On the other side someone's etched out in pencil a Veve, a religious symbol for a loa. Everyone has one. It's sort of their magical signature. A veve acts as a kind of beacon. If you have it, you can use it in rituals to harness the loa's power. Hommes love it, but you've little need. You don't recognize this one.
Even its presence makes the card tingly and warm to the touch, though.

As you straighten up, Diajua taps you on the shoulder.
"Look," she says, and points up at the ridge from whence you came, toward the graveyard.
A pulsing light picks out the overcast clouds out there in a swamp-gas glow.

[a] Take Julian to the hospital first and foremost. No investigation yet.
[b] Whatever it is, you need to get to it quick. Take the trussed-up homme with you.
>>
No. 547184 ID: c1f19a

Hurry him along to the hospital, but ask him a couple questions before we get there, and this one before we leave: "Anything else we would want to take away from you?"

Other questions to ask would be, "Do you know what's up with that pulsing light?"
"What exactly are we ruining and why shouldn't we ruin it?"
>>
No. 547212 ID: fc937d

Dump the man at the hospital. Maybe his kin can get him to talk more than you can. Bringing a prisoner along to the fight always just ends in getting them killed before they can talk, anyways. And you're all out of get out of grave free cards for the day.

If you're really worried about investigating the spooky stuff, you could split up.
>>
No. 547286 ID: 735f4f

Take him to the hospital quickly and tell him if he wants us to not ruin this "happening" then he had better tell you what is going on.

Because if he does not you will have to go poke your nose in things and probably break everything.

Also tell him you are being very reasonable because the Baron just said to kill any magicians messing with things and here is is very much alive and not burned to death horribly.
>>
No. 547289 ID: 24e612

A+other-ask him did he intend to use his powers selfishly.
>>
No. 547327 ID: e57996

Fabian pulls himself to his feet and limps over to you as you drag his bound brother in.
Diajua deposits Julian at the patchy toes of his calfskin boots. The crowd in the hospital gather round, unblinking and silent.

"That's your killer brother for you, Fabian," you say. "You'll see justice done, now, no matter what that means?"

"I will, loa," he says, and your shrunken head cries no foul.

"What were you trying to do, Julian?" you ask. "Were you directing these zombies?"
"Some," he says. "But I did nothing to bring them up."
"You certainly seized the opportunity."
He doesn't respond.
"Did you make them kill? With that organ of yours?"
"Some." He eyes your coat pocket.
"Why did you have to go do that, imbécile?"
"You have to tear down if you want to recreate," he says, through gritted teeth. "I was going to fix things after it was all through. We would have rebuilt."
"With you in charge, then?"
He nods. "It would have been better. I could have helped. Who will help us now?"
"The loa."
"We need no loa any more. Humanity helps itself."
"Be honest, Julian." You bend down to Julian's eye level, the tails of your coat curling into the dust on the floor. "You did this for yourself and yourself only, didn't you?"
"No," he says.
"Liessssss," hisses the shrunken head.
And it's smart enough to know it didn't need any cusses to make that one sting.

You stand up and turn smartly on your heels from Julian's ashy face, tip your hat to Patchy and Old Nimbi outside the hospital, and join Diajua on the street, looking up at the glowing ridge.
You can hear the faint sound of drums.
>>
No. 547328 ID: 7bbaae

>>547327
Hmm. This could be a big problem. I think we'd better get somewhere high up to see over the ridge without being on it, to see what's going on over there.
>>
No. 547333 ID: c1f19a

Binoculars? Any decent cop car should have a pair I'd figure but how many of those left unattended have you passed?
>>
No. 547341 ID: c16a16

If Agwe or any of the others are still game for answering questions, might be wise to consult them, too. They might know what's going on. Or at least have some kind of idea of what it might be.
>>
No. 547590 ID: 3651de

>>547341
I figure we're all out of phone-a-friends.

>>547333
I think the area isn't that developed... or it might be earlier in earth's history... or both.

Do you have any other Loa powers at your and your GF's disposal? Can you go on back and get more friends from the other side?
>>
No. 547730 ID: b05d1f

>>547328
Capotille is too far down in the valley, and the graveyard is too far on the other side of the ridge for you to see it in town.
Folks just don't like to be reminded of their final lodgings, you guess.

>>547333
Cars? Not here. That's more or less for the rich, and especially after the Great Big War took most all of the gas and metal people had. You've heard some of the wealthier mainland hommes are awooga-ing all over the place, but not in Capotille.

>>547341
Everybody gets one a day. Them's the breaks. You're not sure if you even could reach Agwe at this point, and he gets grouchy if you badger him too much regardless.

>>547590
No friends on the other side, but you've done a lot to ingratiate the townsfolk. It might be possible to get a tidy little posse going at this point to investigate.

[a] Round up the hommes and break out the torches/pitchforks
[b] Go up the ridge on your own.
>>
No. 547746 ID: fc937d

B. If it's a zombie uprising, no need to bring them canon fodder and reinforcements.

Besides, group management ain't exactly our strong suit.
>>
No. 547877 ID: 610c86
File 138432905086.png - (303.89KB , 800x600 , 12.png )
547877

You're around halfway up the ridge when the brass starts up.

"What the hell?" Diajua cranes her neck. "I recognize that sound."
"From where?"
"Listen, fou." She gives you a light slap on the back of the head. "It's your crew."
"What?"

You listen closer.
That's Ermas' trumpet, unmistakably.
The glow intensifies, and solidifies, and then cresting the ridge you see them.

A troupe of ghede loa, whooping and singing, with a certain skinny black top hatted motherfucker leading them.

Ermas takes a break from blowing the brass to lead the chorus:

"Who's the lord of the dead
With the white Death-Skull's head
The cigar-smoking Law of the Land?

The man who's smooth talkin
And Vodou-path walkin
With a bottle of rum in his hand?

A hard partying ghost
With a skeletal host
Is it Anubis or Pluto or Charon?

Naw, they're all just fakes
So behold ye and quake
At the greatest death loa:"

"THE BARON," says the Baron. "Hoy, LaCroix. Miss me?"
>>
No. 547878 ID: 7bbaae

>>547877
Hey boss man, things are mostly sorted out here. Got one of the perps, but he wan't working alone. He had this:

Then show him the card. Ask if he recognizes who it belongs to.
>>
No. 547909 ID: d2995c

We got one of the guys behind it, and we are headed after what looks like his boss right over there in the cemetery. The guy had that card and a loa-controlling whip, and I would be surprised if there weren't more where those came from. (Particularly the whip. The guy over there probably has probably plotted an ambush by this point.)
>>
No. 547915 ID: de22e8

There was also some newb magican trying to hoodoo the grave we rose out from. He's been baked crispy.
>>
No. 547957 ID: 86c259

"Could definitely use the backup boss, because investigating this shit gets weirder and weirder. You wouldn't happen to know who might be stupid enough to hand out ropes that can control Loa, would you?"
>>
No. 548000 ID: 097017

>>547877
Miss seeing you standing on your own two stilts talking too much sense like yon touris rather than getting hand fed pillow-stuffing like a dying miser? Mwen pa séten. I think you'd have to have been sober if I'm supposed to miss you that way.
>>
No. 548032 ID: 9fa9cb

"Miss you? Je ne sais pas." You exchange glances with Diajua. "It was funny when you were hungover with a pillow in your face."

The loa in Samedi's train laugh. He clicks his tongue at them and flips you off.
"All right, cackling hens," he says. "Did you deal with the wannabe vodou slingers?"

"Sure thing, bossman." You scratch your neck. "One's locked up and one's char-broiled."
"Thought I smelled some barbecue when I came in." The Baron sniffs. "Well, you did a job of it, mon taureau furieux. Now why don't you and your little lady stand back, and I'll show you how a Death God handles some tall-dead-and-smellies."

He holds his arms up above his head, lets out a hissing cackle, and takes a caterwauling leap forward into a stilty lunge, pointing his fingers down at town.

A single piddly green spark falls out of one sleeve and drops to the ground.
Baron Samedi, great loa of death, blinks.

"Oh," he says. "Hmm."

Someone coughs.
>>
No. 548034 ID: d6c045

>>548032

"Don't worry boss, it happens to all men sometimes. Particularly if they've been drinking."
>>
No. 548035 ID: 7bbaae

Seems like the town is warded. How about we go in and take care of the zombies manually?
>>
No. 548036 ID: e8a5f8

Show him the card if we haven't already. He could be the unlucky loa who's mark is on that card.
Alternatively, ask him if his mojo needed there to be an undead in the direction he shot at-we DID fry quite a few undead.
>>
No. 548037 ID: fc937d

Maybe somebody was prepared for when you came knocking. He had some kinda freaky rope for making a loa puppet. And this. *show card*.
>>
No. 548250 ID: 9fa9cb

"Performance anxiety?" you ask.
"Shut up." Baron Samedi winds up again and executes another hopping hex. A weak puffing tendril of smoke and then nothing. "Shit."

"Could it have anything to do with this?" You hold up the veve.
The Baron squints at it. "I don't think so. No. That's just a fucking playing card, LaCroix."
"It has a veve."
"Everyone has a veve. My balls have a veve. Fuck veves. Where'd you find that?"
"Someone in the church. One of the zombie jockeys."

The ghede loa have gathered around. Hommel tips his hat to you. Ermas clears his throat.

"I don't get it," mutters the crouching Baron. "Where did my mastery of the Dead go? And furthermore where did my mastery of hangovers go?" You shrug as he straightens up.
"Something fishy is going on," says the Baron. "I couldn't have just set it down somewhere, or, or given it away, or-" And then below the etched skull all the color drains from his face.

"Oh, fuck," he says.

And that's when you remember.
>>
No. 548251 ID: 9fa9cb

Last night. The pleasurable haze sharpens in your recollection.

It was a quayside bar, and there was this little sawdust-filled doll thing, and someone had stuck a magical pork-pie on it and given it a trumpet and it was blowing the kind of cheese that would make the Sainted Virgin throw her underwear around, and you were pulling the whole "Baby-I'm-A-Nine-Out-Of-Ten-When-I've-Got-Skin-On" on some giggling blond grand homme mademoiselle, and everyone was drinking spiced rum, and Hommel had just done the musket-ball trick with his forehead, and then the Baron burst in from the back room with the reserves, with his arm around a dazed, grinning homme, and he'd given him his hat, and he was saying something like:

"Guysss you'll never believe the kind of stories this fou is spitting it's wild I love this dirty fuckin vieux hahahahaaaa look at my hat on him look at his hat oh my god or bondye or whatever you wouldn't believe him! This guy! I love him! Do the spitting thing again haaaahahaha he did the spitting thing I'm Baron Samedi what's your name? I'm the loa of death do you want to be the loa of death? I like you you're the new death god what LaCroix leave me alone this motherfucker's great! He's great! It's fucking wild frere what's your name?

"Thimbi? I love that name hold my rum Thimbi"

"Oh, fuck," you say.
>>
No. 548252 ID: 7bbaae

Well let's fucking march back into town and have Thimbi hand back over his power. He was DRUNK, he probably doesn't even remember he has the power! Heck, he was still drunk last time you saw him. You could probably get it back in exchange for some real good alcohol.
>>
No. 548258 ID: 735f4f

Well back into town to go politely ask him for your title back.
>>
No. 548268 ID: fc937d

...well. Getting those powers back is going to be a problem, then. Considering the new god of death likely isn't gonna want to give them up, has the mojo to push you guys around, and the fact that you technically might be obligated to take orders from 'em.
>>
No. 548317 ID: 097017

>>548268
makes me wonder who gave these fools these powers to begin with.

>>548252
No he remembers. He even introduced himself as the God of Death. Still, doesnt mean you cant be a wily bag of bones and trick him out of it like in so many creole folk tales... Should you win it, though, I really wouldn't entrust it to, well, about anyone you know. Even the most responsible homme in the isle will get corrupted by power, and from the looks a things you cant trust a loa to keep a hold of his own head.

Play a doomed game with him, a rigged gambit. Like a shell game, but maybe something he wouldn't be familiar. Or get the guy twice-dead drunk and tell him crazy stories.
>>
No. 548318 ID: f51d02

I guess you're about to be the baron?
>>
No. 548321 ID: 097017

>>548318
no, no. I mean petition Beyonde to give you loa kids a supervisor, some new johnny on the spot.
>>
No. 548322 ID: bb3eca

>>548318
>>548321
>>548317

That's no good. These loa are, for whatever reason, meant to be this way. The best you can do is return thing back to the status quo.
>>
No. 548323 ID: fe4bfc

Makes you wonder if the Baron started the plague or Thimbi did on accident. Seeing as no one is going to get fixed until the Baron gets his mojo back I don't think he will be to unreasonable.

And can always try the trickery if need be.

Might get your stuff back by asking nicely and promising to take him to all your parties.
>>
No. 548324 ID: 3651de

Guys,
>>548322
>>548321
>>548318
>>548317

La Croix already is a baron, or soon will be. No not The baron, a baron.

In the Ghede alone there are at least 3. One has horses who wears tuxes and top hats and act all snooty. Ahm serious: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baron_Cimeti%C3%A8re

And lets get this straight: Loa are not gods. They might have been back in the motherland, but here in the western hemisphere they're more comparable to saints or angels.
>>
No. 548330 ID: bb3eca

>>548324
I guess we're going to have to ring up le schtroumpf noir Papa Ghede and get this straightened out. I think Brom allowed some creative license when it comes to Caribbean beliefs for his quest ...and as funny an image your post makes, the term 'horse' are refer the living people loa posses--which these variety apparently do not do. It seems they posses only dead bodies, likely their own.
>>
No. 548356 ID: 86c259

>>548330
If we can get Samedi to ride Thimbi as a Loa that might be halfway a solution to this mess. I'm not sure what the other half of that solution would be though.
>>
No. 548370 ID: eaa372

We need to get some good alcohol on the off chance that Thimbi can be won over that easily.
>>
No. 548496 ID: c770a7

Mmkay, considering the recent conversation, I am in favor of using the situation (should we win the powers back) to negotiate s promotion with Sammi.

As for resolving this situation, start psycho analyzing Thimbi. Is he a purchasable, superstitions and cowardly kind, or is he the kind of person who would watch the world burn? Also, use the support of the people for your actions as clout with the drunk. This guy may be death personified for this time onward, but if he's stupid about it he's going to live despised and lonely, shunned by homme and loa for his unending existence. If the above plans don't work, let him know this.
>>
No. 548611 ID: 9fa9cb

>>548330
Oh, no, you can horse folks just fine (Horsing's possession of a mortal, and the use of their body. Great at parties/religious events, not that the Baron makes that distinction). But if there's no one offering a ride to hitch, there's always the opportunity to just show up with no skin on.
Your unhorsed body is made up of your personal vodou. For you, it's sufficient for a skeleton, more or less. Baron Samedi's got enough juice he can show up to the party all the way fleshed.

Your old actual body is lying in an unmarked mass grave, somewhere in Europe.

>>548356
"You could horse him, boss," you say.

"You kidding me?" the Baron says. "Samedi the bigshot death spirit riding shotgun with a drunken, toothless old coot?"
"Fancy that," you say.
"What's that, LaCroix?"
"Nothing. It's maybe our only chance."
"Well." Samedi readjusts his jacket. He turns to survey his waiting crowd of adherents, who are all trying not to laugh at him. "I guess. Horse him, fix the mess, take my powers back, peace out, something like that?"
"That's right, bossman."
"All right. Lead on, LaCroix." Samedi starts to walk down the ridge, then halts, one stilty leg in the air. "Wait. Normally when I'm convincing a mortal to let me inside them I just sort of put my sunglasses down and go, 'hey sexy I'm Baron Samedi', but I don't know if Thimbi down there'll fall for that one. How do we convince him?"

[a] "Got any booze?"
[b] "We'll just freak him out a little until he says okay."
[c] "We don't need to. I'll tie him down."
[d] "I'm sure if we just explain the situation he'll consent."
[e] "Just do the sunglasses thing. He'll be into it."
[f] __________
>>
No. 548612 ID: 735f4f

A bit of Booze and smooze and you should be set. He did not seem like a unreasonable sort.

Show up for a party get him the good stuff and then explain how you would love to bring all his friends back but you made him a honorary death god last night. So if he would kindly give you your hat back you can get it out of the way and we can get to partying.
>>
No. 548613 ID: 7bbaae

>>548611
E is soooo tempting, but A seems like a good chance of working.
>>
No. 548628 ID: d6c045

>>548611

[f] "Alright, well, I have an alternate plan but it involves angry geese. That or a buncha furious chickens, either or."
>>
No. 548653 ID: eaa372

A little of A and E. We need to get some good alcohol to compensate Thimbi for his time though.
>>
No. 548676 ID: 7f3f68

Yeah, A and a little E, maybe.
>>
No. 548705 ID: 86c259

We don't know if Thimbi is into Samedi like that, I say A is our likeliest starter choice and we proceed from there as we learn or fail.
>>
No. 550130 ID: 6868bc

You think that maybe this zombie outbreak and somebody new getting the powers of the loa of death might be related somehow? Just sayin', might be best to go in knowing it's possible he knows what he's got and he don't feel like cooperating.
>>
No. 550343 ID: df41f8

"No!"
Thimbi cackles and takes another slug of spiced rum.

"No? What do you mean, no?" The Baron paces angrily in front of him, in the narrow, dusty hospital hall. "Do you know who you're talking to, little man?"

"Sure and I does," says Thimbi. He points at Baron Samedi, lord of death. "Big old crow looking fella! Cackling crow! With a big hat!"
The Baron glares at him, and glares even harder at the cluster of ghede loa who have crowded into the hall behind him, and are desperately biting their tongues as one to keep from laughing.
"I could turn you into a poison pufferfish soon as breathe on you, bonebag," says Samedi.
"You could, boy." Thimbi takes another drink and passes the bottle to a quietly shocked, chalkfaced Patchy. He leans forward on the barricade and taps his nose. "If I hain't got all your mojo, that is."
"Give it back and I promise you'll be in no trouble," says the Baron. You cough. "And we'll reward you, even!" He hastily adds. "Rum, yeah? You like rum?"

"Rum, yeah!" Thimbi nods. "I like rum. Don't like big old crows in my head, though, idiote!"

He points directly at you. You look down at your bony chest as he pushes a finger against your sternum.
"Him I'll let in. Big skeleton man. Him's trustworthy."
>>
No. 550344 ID: 7bbaae

>>550343
Yeah alright, then we can give it to Samedi. After a time.
>>
No. 550350 ID: 36c336

Careful, this guy has tricked Samedi out of his mojo. It may be that Samedi was a moron, but it may also be that he's more of a witch than we realize and has a trick to gather all the Loa mojo.
>>
No. 550378 ID: fd6ae9

Don't worry, bossman. I'll get your mojo back. (And we'll only hold it over your head and tease you a little before handing it back).
>>
No. 550392 ID: 097017

>>550378
>>550350
>>550344gun for a promotion, gun for a promotion!
>>
No. 550401 ID: fb4e93

So, what's the idea, here? I'm a little unsure of what's being discussed - is horsing necessary to transfer the powers back? Are both parties openly aware and in agreement that the goal is the return of the Baron's powers? Does Thimbi not want the Baron to horse him basically because he doesn't like him, or is there some particular set of things the Baron could do to Thimbi, horsed, that he couldn't just do after he regained his mojo?
>>
No. 553327 ID: df41f8

The incense is lit, the drums start pounding (Ermas has to step in and martial the line a little because of how tipsy Jacques has gotten), and the circle is formed.
A clutch of tall, black corpses gather round Thimbi, who shuffles and claps delightedly with the best of them. The creaking in his bones is almost audible.

Thimbi drinks significantly more spiced rum than is strictly necessary, ignoring the Loa who tries to take it away. "That's the good spirit! Whazzat, aniseed?"
"Gunpowder," you say.
He burps, appreciatively. "I'm ready for ya, big man. Come on inside."
A ripple of laughter from the peanut gallery.
"Be gentle with him, LaCroix!" crows Samedi.
Diajua slaps your back. "You gonna call him back?"
"Hey, LaCroix! Come here often?"
"What, no foreplay, LaCroix?"

"Don't encourage them," you mutter to the cackling old man. You flick a match down its book and set it to a handful of dried herbs in your palm. "Three deep breaths."

Thimbi shuts his eyes and inhales heavily. Un. Deux. Troix.
On the third, he breathes you inside.

You travel into the lungs and out through the blood and all over Thimbi, head to toe.
You feel the years push down on your joints and you're almost glad you never got the chance to start breaking down.

But the power.

It's a strange feeling, the power of a Death God and the weary form of an old man.

It's intoxicating.

>Choose all that apply
[ ] Push the zombies back into the Earth.
[ ] Bring those killed back from the grave.
[ ] Bring back those in the village killed before their time.
[ ] Restore Thimbi to youth.
[ ] Bring yourself back to life.
[ ] Bring Diajua back to life.
[ ] Bring anyone back to life.
[ ] Kill someone.
[ ] Keep this power for yourself.
[ ] Give the power back, but keep a little for yourself on the side.
[ ] End Death.
[ ] End Life.
>>
No. 553377 ID: 9b57d3

>>553327
[ ] Push the zombies back into the Earth.
[ ] Bring those killed back from the grave.
[ ] Give the power back, but keep a little for yourself on the side.

Let's do our duty, and not abuse this power. Thimbi didn't even use it, not once.
>>
No. 553399 ID: fd6ae9

>Push the zombies back into the Earth.
And de-zombie them, of course. No good putting them in the earth if they're just going to crawl back out in an hour.

>Bring those killed back from the grave.
At least those killed as the result of the recent zombie incident. Obviously there should be constraints on how far back and over what geographical area the get out of grave free effect should apply.

>Give the power back, but keep a little for yourself on the side. not before dangling it over The Baron's head and teasing him with it
>>
No. 553401 ID: f407bc

>>553377
this, but we should also
[ ] Restore Thimbi to youth.
he willingly gave up the god of deaths mojo, that deserves some kind of reward.
>>
No. 553411 ID: eaa372

>>553401

Don't restore Thimbi's youth, just get him some good alcohol once in a while for the rest of his natural life.

>>553399
We went through all this trouble to be consistant with the natural order of life and death. Have to set an example to discourage any other amateur necromancers trying this kind of crap.
>>
No. 553423 ID: df41f8

You stand, quavering, in this body of possibility.
The thrill of all this incredible shit you could do pumps through your jarringly alive veins.

"...LaCroix?"
Samedi waves a hand in your face. "You gonna do anything, or are you going to just shudder there till you piss yourself?"

You shake it out. You've got a job to do. "Right. Let's see."

You snap your fingers.

A massive nimbus of brilliant green pulsates out from between your fingertips and blasts the light out of every zombie in Capotille.

You snap your fingers.

Two score or more chewed, shredded, and murdered people are reknit and revived, stunning their weeping families into silent awe or riotous joy.

You snap your fingers.

Baron Samedi snaps his back at you, and a little green spark plays around his knucles. "That's the juice." His chalky skull grin pulls up another notch or two. "No wonder I felt so shitty this morning."
It felt good, while it lasted, if a little anticlimactic. You still feel the aftereffects of the power bouncing around inside you. It's left a quiet ache in its absence.
C'est la vie.

"Now wasn't that simple," you say.
"Sass the Baron before you give him back dominion over life and unlife, fou," says Samedi. "Not after."
You chuckle as you tuck away the sliver of power you've taken from him away into your soul. Not enough a man like the Baron would notice, but proper payment for services rendered.

"I suppose I have to talk to everyone now," says the Baron. He pulls a face. "I'll handle that shit, LaCroix. People like me."
"They like LaCroix," Diajua says as I pull myself out of Thimbi and back into my bones.
"And I like being the center of attention." Samedi tips his hat to Thimbi. "Thankee, old man."
"Thankee for being fool enough to leave yer powers with me, Crow-man," says Thimbi.
"I like him." Samedi turns on his heels. "So I'm going to ignore that. You coming, LaCroix?"

[a] Sure. Let's check in on everyone.
[b] No thanks, Baron. It's time for me and the boys to have an afterparty while you clean up the rest of the mess.
[c] No thanks, Baron. I believe I had plans to go somewhere with Diajua before all this happened. Coffee.
>>
No. 553442 ID: 379075

"I was thinking that I should take Diajua out on a nice date. Have I not done enough to help you today?"
>>
No. 553455 ID: fd6ae9

C. ...and that better not be a lie, or we'll have to beat the damn head's skull in.
>>
No. 553553 ID: df41f8

"You go on ahead, boss."
"Drinking with us, LaCroix?" Ermas snaps his trumpet case closed.
"I actually had plans already, frere. Sorry. Diajua?"

You heroically ignore the hooting catcalls and whistles as Diajua parts from the crowd and takes your hand with as much coquettish grace as a fiery war-skeleton can manage.
"Au revoir, boys," she says. "Have fun with the dead guys."
"Hey, stay," calls Jacques. "I gotta trick with embalming fluid you gotta see to believe."
"Jacques." You shake your fist. "You got no lip to bust, but don't think I can't knock a tooth or two out, fou."
"I've seen his embalming fluid trick," confides Ermas to Diajua. "If he ever finds a girl with no taste and no nose it'll boost him right into her drawers. We're sure."
"I regret missing it already." Diajua gives your bony wrist a tug. "Let's blow this popsicle stand, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. I want to go somewhere we can have a little less crowd and a little more skin."
"Your wish and my command, ma rose."

"Times like this I wish I was ghede." Diajua leads you up the hill, back toward the graveyard.
"It's a boy's club," you say.
"I think you're all very cute in your tails and big hats, thank you very much. Why do you think I always pick you over some big Petro Loa with a six pack?"
"I have a six pack!"
"Sure, mon enfant. Sure."
You pull closer to her to squeeze by a tall, forbidding headstone. "I have a six pack."

"You have a gazillion pack, mon ami." Diajua hops onto a long, featureless slate sarcophagus, and it starts to pulse with the green vodou power of a gate back to the Other Side. A couple of raspy carrion crows lurch clumsily off a bare-twig tree and out into the sky, shrilling their complaints down at us.

She stretches out a hand to beckon you up to on top of the grave. "Dance with me, LaCroix."

[a] Dance a light, cheerful swing with her. Unwind.
[b] Show your class. Do a gliding waltz.
[c] Get close and romantic. Tango.
[d] "I'm feeling a little too corpse-bitten tonight." Pussy.
[e] __________
>>
No. 553554 ID: 379075

Dude, if you have a good swing band I say swing! The other options have comparatively tepid/tame music.
>>
No. 553555 ID: fb4e93

>>553554
Hmm...yeah, agreed. Unless, of course, you think she'd like something else better.

Also, merry Christmas, everybody!
>>
No. 553558 ID: acb7da

Tango is sexy as fuck. Do that.
>>
No. 553623 ID: 1ce34b

Remember the tango is a five step ala 1-2, 1-2-3 or T-A, N-G-O. Also remember to wait until you get to the other side to dance as it is pelvis grinding to music virtually the entire time. If you start here and dance thru the doorway your bones might get locked and you both will be joined at the hip... Literally. (I mean I've heard about cleaving to your woman and becoming one flesh, but this is ridiculous!)
>>
No. 553932 ID: df41f8

You hop onto the grave and close your hand around hers, pulling her close. The light beneath your feet pulses again and glows brighter.

"Hold on," she says, and breaks away for a moment to fumble with the buttons on her uniform. She grimaces a little.
Diajua has the unique problem of liking her uniform quite tight when she's fighting and possessing one of the most impressive prows in the afterlife.
It's a good thing there's not a lot of fighting in the Primordial Bayou, she's told you, because the mechanics of firing a gun or swinging a sword get a lot different when you have additional flesh in the way.
And in her case, it's a fairly substantial addition.
She finishes loosening her shirt and you suppress a little laughter at her exposed ribcage.
"Shut up, idiote," she says. "Come here."
You step into her arms and run a hand along the rough fabric of the uniform at the small of your back. She squeezes your shoulder and moves closer.
Then the ground cracks and crumbles away around you and you tango into the grave.
>>
No. 553933 ID: df41f8
File 138821930252.png - (358.51KB , 800x600 , 13.png )
553933

The two of you dip and sashay through Limbo, kicking out and pulling in.
The muscle slithers onto and between the bones beneath your fingers. You feel her breath on your neck again.

One-two, one-two-three.

Your hips break off at one moment as Diajua dips and twirls, and when she comes up again the skin is filtering in rivulets across you both, hers cocoa-butter brown and dusted with freckles, and yours smooth and shiny and deep-midnight black.

You reknit your fingers between hers and lift her off her feet for a spin. She half-yelps and half-laughs as her eyes trickle up into her skull and fix on yours. The irises bloom and fan out like two drops of ink in water. Your chests never part, but you can feel yours getting pushed a little bit away from hers as her body reforms.

"Where the hell are your lips?" she asks.
"Patience," you say. "They'll be along any second."
You dip her again, and when she comes up you boost her up into the air (she's heavier now) and kiss her.

The dance drops for a minute or two as you hold one another. Around you, Limbo thrums and resonates.
"Mon amour," she whispers.
"Ma moitié," you say.
"You could have fired Samedi, you know. You could have sprung yourself back to life."
"I could have." You rub her shoulderblade, pensively.
"You had it all, for a second there."
"I don't need it all, fou." You extend your foot again, as the air starts to solidify around you. "I need just enough."
She smiles, and at your cue the dance begins again.
>>
No. 553934 ID: df41f8
File 138821932578.png - (174.52KB , 800x600 , 14.png )
553934

When you surface on the other side it's blessedly far from the well you hopped in earlier.
The raucous music of the bar drifts through the thin, sepulchral air.
It would be even more romantic if you weren't both up to your knees in bayou muck.

"Euch." Diajua pulls her boots up out of the mud and onto a nearby wooden walkway, wobbling a little as she adjusts to the new weight in front. She stomps a couple of times and gets a big blob of it right on your sleeve. She helps you onto the boards after her.
"Nice." You flick the slime off. "That's going to need a spell or two to come out."
"You won't be in those duds too much longer," says Diajua, pulling you back into the tango.

The boards make soft sucking music below your feet as you dance.
"But we aren't going anywhere," you say. "Just my place, no?"
"Your place." She twirls out. "No afterparty with the boys?"
"I don't think so." You pull her back in. "I'm in the mood for an evening in."
She pushes up against you. "Coffee?"
"Coffee," you say.


"LLLLLLLYING MOTHERFUCKER YOU'RE A LIAR YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT EVEN GOING TO DRINK COFFEE YOU PIECE OF SHIT LIARRRR"
>>
No. 553935 ID: df41f8
File 138821933665.png - (10.93KB , 800x600 , 15.png )
553935

>>
No. 553960 ID: acb7da

loool!
>>
No. 553961 ID: 40e7f1

wait whaaa ... :O
just like that !?!?
>>
No. 554108 ID: fb4e93

Ahahahahaha

Nicely done.
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