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File 125471350550.png - (39.83KB , 1024x768 , 1.png )
57734 No. 57734 ID: b1e366

I THINK HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME OR SOMETHING!
16 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 58221 ID: 89a902

>>58077
hell no! dorfs thinks more clearly after drinking booze
>>
No. 58228 ID: b1e366
File 12547857738.png - (10.12KB , 800x600 , 4.png )
58228

>run off at the slightest whim without concern for preparation or heed of our strategizing.

That almost sounds like... P-plu... Plen... Planning?

>recruit that fucker! Promise Booze!
>hell no! dorfs thinks more clearly after drinking booze.

So if he gets the only thing he wants, he'll stop trying to kill us, then realize we're goblins and kobolds and try to kill us?

This is not a good plan, even I know that.
How about resorting to violence? That solves everything!
>>
No. 58229 ID: 197650

We could put down some beer somewhere, when he lets his guard down to drink it, you could try ambushing him with your kobold army.
>>
No. 58236 ID: 632862

If there was any booze left in the fort I think he would've gone and drank it by now. It's all blown up!

I still suggest getting a crossbow and taking him out at range, or at least injuring him so you can take him out with the sword. If you don't feel like doing that, ambush him at a corner while he's chasing a kobold. Take him out in one blow!
>>
No. 58247 ID: 192956

Point him in the direction of a river and tell him it is made of booze. Chances are he will run screaming toward it and drown himself, because everyone knows dwarves can't swim.
>>
No. 58256 ID: ee0a11

>>58228

Well, it's all you're good at, so why not?
>>
No. 58276 ID: 45afb1

Get behind him and latch onto his back, then threaten to cut off his beard if he does not stop. A dorf, mad or otherwise, will always put his beard at high priority. Then after he's subdued, cut off his beard anyway and make him watch. Then force him to wander the world a beardless dorf... and give him a bomb or something... just so he doesn't warn any other dorfs.
>>
No. 58314 ID: b1e366
File 125479262012.png - (10.36KB , 800x600 , 5.png )
58314

>Get behind him and latch onto his back, then threaten to cut off his beard if he does not stop. A dorf, mad or otherwise, will always put his beard at high priority. Then after he's subdued, cut off his beard anyway.

This might work to dis- Ow... He... He nicked my ear... I love my ears... I WANT VENGEANCE!
>>
No. 58315 ID: ee0a11

>>58314

You killed his friends. I think he wants vengeance too.
>>
No. 58321 ID: ed8d8a

>>58315
>You killed his booze makers. I think he wants vengeance too.

Fix'd
>>
No. 58322 ID: e3f578

The fool just wants Beer, lure him with beer to get him in your trap. He hungers no revenge yet, just beer.
>>
No. 58324 ID: acb3f1

Look around for lever.

Pull lever.

Run like fuck.
>>
No. 58326 ID: 276781

>>58314
Your man-slave Ozud can lick it and make it all better. Maybe you should tear your shirt a bit and make a makeshift bandage until then, though.

Violence against this particular dorf may not solve everything - you saw how big his axe is!
...But if you can find some booze and distract him with it, maybe a big enough container that he has to use two hands for... he'll drop the axe and then you can cut him to shreds.

Intricate planning may not be your strong point, but very simple plans might work.
>>
No. 58327 ID: 632862

>>58324
Wait, don't! We have to loot the fort before we destroy it!
>>
No. 58360 ID: b1e366
File 125479527418.png - (10.79KB , 800x600 , 6.png )
58360

>You killed his friends.

You think dorfs are as valuable as my ears? I hate you, get out.
>>
No. 58371 ID: ee0a11

>>58360

Stop being so whiny and finish the job!
>>
No. 58487 ID: 6faa8c

>>58360
use your high speed to your advantage.
>>
No. 58490 ID: 7eda8b

He's not armored. Stab him through the back while he's distracted with your kobold, then withdraw while he bleeds out.
>>
No. 59908 ID: b1e366
File 125496174672.png - (146.98KB , 1024x768 , 7.png )
59908

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!~

Whoa geez... I think I hit something vital.
>>
No. 59911 ID: ee0a11

>>59908

Well, there's no kill like overkill!
>>
No. 59912 ID: f6f030

Come on, he's a dorf. you have to do better than that.
>>
No. 59913 ID: c0f3bf

>>59908
Hit him again just in case. Avoid axe in death throes.
>>
No. 59943 ID: 61b521

>>59908
oh shit you hit the spleen by the looks of it

that is not vital AT ALL, stab him again.


well, it IS vital, but not vital vital. you can live a minute or two without it, you'll just bleed out- but you're still deadly during that time.
>>
No. 59957 ID: 632862

>>59908
Avoid the inevitable counterattack. He might not die fast enough.
>>
No. 60384 ID: 7eda8b

Back off and wait for him to bleed out.
>>
No. 60802 ID: b1e366
File 125504274265.png - (12.66KB , 800x600 , 8.png )
60802

Hey, you can see inside his ribcage. Kind of gross.

>Back off and wait for him to bleed out.

That's a lot of blood, but it's fun to watch anyway.
>>
No. 60803 ID: c0f3bf

You're covered in blood anyway, might as well have a blood dance!
>>
No. 60826 ID: f98e0b

Get some of those bolds in here and have another blood orgy.
>>
No. 60836 ID: 632862

>>60826
That would be unfaithful! Atu's not some slut who'll lay down with the likes of Kobolds, anyway!

Instead, LOOT EVERYTHING.
>>
No. 60841 ID: 89a902

>>60836

>That would be unfaithful! Atu's not some slut who'll lay down with the likes of Kobolds, anyway!

>Instead, LAY DOWN WITH THE DEAD DORF.
>>
No. 60842 ID: 43d730

>>60836
Which is why she should order them into the room, splash blood on them, then force them to have sex.


Repeatedly.
>>
No. 60843 ID: 89a902

>>60841
>fix'd
>>
No. 60867 ID: 1689ab

Alright, what's useful in this fortress? It'll take a while to cart it all back to base. Maybe we can find some sort of caravan and head out using that?
>>
No. 61820 ID: b1e366
File 125513352378.png - (14.02KB , 800x600 , 9.png )
61820

OZZY! HELP THE KOBOLDS UNLOAD MY LOOT, THEN GIVE ME A FOOT MASSAGE, THEN GET ME SOME FOOD THAT IS OUT OF SEASON, FROM ANOTHER REGION AND IS EXTREMELY RARE, SO I CAN TAKE ONE BITE THEN NOT WANT IT ANYMORE!

Amxu: You're back... right as the baby was going to sleep for the first time... in thirty hours.
>>
No. 61823 ID: e06ea4

>>61820
ATU receive IMPRESSIONABLE YOUTH.
AXMU receive SLEEP.
>>
No. 61824 ID: c0f3bf

>>61820
Axmu: Just walk away, you'll thank yourself for it.

Atu: Fix your ear and possibly get someone to lick off that blood.
>>
No. 61830 ID: 15f6d6

You guise should kiss. With tongue.
>>
No. 61903 ID: 1689ab

Get the baby some toys out of the loot pile.
>>
No. 61911 ID: 43d730

>>61820
Attempt to aid in baby-calming activities.
Make a mess of it because you're covered in blood and are hyperactive.
Get sent away.
Sleep.
???
PROFIT
>>
No. 61949 ID: 9f0d45

goddamnit you woke up the babby, you have to help calm it down now.
>>
No. 61973 ID: b1e366
File 125515376393.png - (23.24KB , 1024x768 , 10.png )
61973

>Attempt to aid in baby-calming activities.
Check.
>Make a mess of it because you're covered in blood and are hyperactive.
Double check.
>Get sent away.
I should probably go now...
>Sleep
Roger, roger.
>???
HOW DO I KNOW IF YOU DON'T?
>Profit
I'm sure it will all work out.
>>
No. 61978 ID: 1e1932

>>61973

CHILDHOOD TRAUMA GET
>>
No. 61979 ID: a9a2d0

BABBY PUNCH ATU
>>
No. 62073 ID: b1e366
File 125518274267.png - (17.87KB , 1024x768 , 11.png )
62073

Eh... She'll figure it out on her own. I have more important things to do. <3
>>
No. 62096 ID: 197650

do your things, and either show us details or switch control over to someone else~
>>
No. 62287 ID: b1e366
File 125521145868.png - (14.71KB , 1024x768 , 12.png )
62287

We should be good for now, it's just a matter of time for us to get established. Maybe you can check back in a few years... A decade or two.

I'm pretty happy with the way things turned out...
Thank you.
>>
No. 62291 ID: b1e366
File 125521167322.png - (27.34KB , 800x600 , END.png )
62291

>>
No. 62294 ID: f0c8b3

Wait for it

.

.

.

D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
>>
No. 62355 ID: d0ef8d

We shall be looking forward to the next time we see you, fine 'blins. Perhaps when you next call upon us, there will be desperate need. Some manner of great threat or peril.
>>
No. 62544 ID: 76e04d

I wonder if goblins are unageing as well as immortal?

Heh, by the time we see them next, that bandanna-bold is going to be like Old Snake or Rambo instead of Young Snake.
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