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File 12550254881.png - (89.60KB , 800x600 , 1.png )
60419 No. 60419 ID: fb5d8e

Clive Steveson who was Steve Steveson's brother was one day an bedroom typing on a computer.
He got an email from his brother that said
>Hey, lock the door when you leave and make sure you don't burn the house down. Don't be a fag. -Steve
>PS touch my shit and die
Expand all images
>>
No. 60420 ID: fb5d8e
File 12550255577.png - (90.21KB , 800x600 , 2.png )
60420

Clive Steveson got his computer shut down and said
>>
No. 60422 ID: fb5d8e
File 125502559867.png - (170.74KB , 800x600 , 3.png )
60422

>"its time for me to live up to my family name and face pokemon life consequences"
>>
No. 60423 ID: f4963f

Touch Steve's shit. Die.
>>
No. 60424 ID: 9e9b47

>>60422

Get a pokemon and see the world!
>>
No. 60425 ID: 7eda8b

Steal his scented soaps.
>>
No. 60426 ID: f4963f

>>60425
The purple one's the best.
>>
No. 60428 ID: fb5d8e
File 125502648998.png - (70.14KB , 800x600 , 4.png )
60428

Yes! I should go get a Pokémon from Professor Oak!! That will be a great start!
But what will I say?!
>>
No. 60429 ID: 4553b2

>>60428
You'll say "IT IS A GOOD DAY TO DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE BY ME TO HELP MY BROTHER AND LIVE UP TO MY FAMILY NAME! GIMME A BULBASAUR BITCH"
>>
No. 60430 ID: 9e9b47

>>60428

I am on a mission to be the very best! Certainly better than my brother! I require a pokemon, and I shall not take no for an answer!
>>
No. 60431 ID: cd08c0

>>60428
You'll say "I want a Pokemon. GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE"
Ask for a special Pokemon. None of that 'three starters' shit, we want something special because we are a special snowflake.
Like a PIKACHU.
Or an EEVEE.
Or a JIGGLYPUFF.
>>
No. 60432 ID: 12f282

Professor Oak will only have a BIDOOF left for you.
Name it DERP.
>>
No. 60434 ID: 7eda8b

You are alt-canon! That means you have alt-canon pokemon!

Get a Renamon or a Land Squid or a Nevrean or a Care Bear or something.
>>
No. 60435 ID: f4963f

>>60428
See what 'mon Oak has available. If he is not charitable, gank his shit.
>>
No. 60436 ID: fb5d8e
File 12550269878.png - (72.11KB , 800x600 , 5.png )
60436

>"IT IS A GOOD DAY TO DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE BY ME TO HELP MY BROTHER AND LIVE UP TO MY FAMILY NAME! GIMME A BULBASAUR BITCH"
>"Woah, what the hell, Clive! I told you not to come here anymore!! I don't even have any Bulbasaurs!"
>"THEN GIMME ANOTHER POKEMON!! GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!"
>"Wha--"
>"PIKACHU!!"
>"I don't--"
>"EEVEEE!!!"
>"Those are extremely rare--"
>"JIGGLYPUFF!!!!"
>"Oh, I have one--"
>"BIDOOF!! I'LL NAME IT DERP!!!"
>"..Okay, you can have a Bidoof, sure. Then leave!!"
>>
No. 60437 ID: 7eda8b

YOU ARE NONCANON THAT MEANS YOU HAVE NONCANON POEKYMANS
>>
No. 60438 ID: fb5d8e
File 125502708441.png - (78.51KB , 800x600 , 6.png )
60438

YEESSSS
my very own BIDOOF
>>
No. 60439 ID: f4963f

>>60438
NAME IT DERP.

Let's go and kick some ass!
>>
No. 60441 ID: 9e9b47

>>60438

Let's go out and train our AWESOME POKEMON. Maybe also look for OTHER PEOPLE.
>>
No. 60442 ID: 12f282

That had better be a female BIDOOF that we can ROMANCE.
>>
No. 60443 ID: f4963f

>>60442
If female, we name it DERPA.
>>
No. 60444 ID: 4553b2

>>60438
Search for WEPON that DERP can use!
>>
No. 60446 ID: fb5d8e
File 125502755388.png - (99.73KB , 800x600 , 7.png )
60446

>"Bidoof. Bidoof are you listening?! your name is derp"
>"or derpa is youre female"

LISTEN
There's a patch of TALL GRASS to the left but if I follow the path I'll come across DAME WITH PARASOL
>>
No. 60448 ID: 9cc8fd

Probably best to start off with some tall grass wild pokemon, but if you don't want to fight at all just take the path and avoid eye contact. No eye contact, no forced fight.
>>
No. 60449 ID: 4553b2

>>60446
Shout out "ZOMBIE GOAST LEAVE THIS PLACE!" as you toss Derpa at her.
>>
No. 60450 ID: f4963f

>>60446
Challenge her! To a POKÉMON BATTLE!
>>
No. 60451 ID: 9e9b47

>>60446

"When we lock eyes, we must have a pokemon battle!"
>>
No. 60452 ID: cd08c0

>>60446
"I LIKE SHORTS. THEY'RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR."
Then attack her.
>>
No. 60453 ID: fb5d8e
File 125502811365.png - (71.74KB , 800x600 , 8.png )
60453

>"ZOMBIE GOAST LEAVE THIS PLACE!"
>"Bidoof!"
>>
No. 60454 ID: fb5d8e
File 125502842350.png - (85.34KB , 800x600 , 9.png )
60454

>"How rude. Now we must battle."
>>
No. 60455 ID: fb5d8e
File 125502848333.png - (95.59KB , 800x600 , 10.png )
60455

>>
No. 60456 ID: fb5d8e
File 125502849862.png - (104.15KB , 800x600 , 11.png )
60456

>>
No. 60462 ID: 7eda8b

"I'M MEEELLLTTTINNNNGGG!"
>>
No. 60464 ID: fb5d8e
File 125502878549.png - (95.14KB , 800x600 , 12.png )
60464

>DAME WITH PARASOL WANTS TO FIGHT!
>DAME WITH PARASOL SENDS OUT JIGGLYPUFF!

shiiit why didnt you guys tell me she was gonna have pokemon too
>>
No. 60465 ID: 2819cf

>>60464

BIDOOF rape JIGGLYPUFF.
>>
No. 60466 ID: f4963f

>>60464
CAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
Send out DERP / DERPA to combat JIGGLYPUFF.
>>
No. 60467 ID: 7eda8b

Cheat. Run up and poke jigglypuff with a needle, making him deflate.
>>
No. 60468 ID: 9cc8fd

>>60464
I said eye contact meant fight. WHY DID YOU CONTACT EYES
>>
No. 60469 ID: fb5d8e
File 125502902491.png - (132.76KB , 800x600 , 13.png )
60469

>"DERPA!! DERPA RAPE JIGGLYPUFF!! DEEEERRRPAAAAA!!!!"
>>
No. 60473 ID: 9e9b47

>>60469

Tackle! TAAAAAACKLE!
>>
No. 60475 ID: fb5d8e
File 125502923753.png - (133.79KB , 800x600 , 14.png )
60475

>"Tackle! TAAAAAACKLE!"
>>
No. 60482 ID: d2ec7d

Make the tree fall on him!
>>
No. 60483 ID: 9cc8fd

>>60475
What's DAME WITH PARASOL doing?
>>
No. 60489 ID: fb5d8e
File 125502972221.png - (89.64KB , 800x600 , 15.png )
60489

>"Make the tree fall on him!"

YEEESSSS
>>
No. 60494 ID: fb5d8e
File 125502983276.png - (87.61KB , 800x600 , 16.png )
60494

>"How embarrassing. Looks like I'll have to train harder."

DERPA gained 16 XP!
Clive gained 200 USD!
>>
No. 60496 ID: f4963f

>>60489
Inform the dame that you just won her hand in marriage, as those were the stakes of the match. Shame she didn't bother to ask.
>>
No. 60498 ID: d2ec7d

Form a team with her! She'll make enemies fall asleep while you make trees fall on them!
>>
No. 60499 ID: 31e12a

Sweet! Blow it all on video games and machbatlin!
>>
No. 60502 ID: 9e9b47

>>60494

Let's go find brother's stash of courage sauce and drink it with this girl.
>>
No. 60508 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503024956.png - (89.23KB , 800x600 , 17.png )
60508

>"listen youre now my wife"
>"To win my hand in marriage you will first have to defeat my seven fiancees. They each control a gym in this region. When you have all badges, come see me again and I'll take your virginity."

MAN
>>
No. 60509 ID: 9e9b47

>>60508

HELL YES.

Tell her you'll be pounding that snatch within the month. GO TO THE FIRST GYM OMG
>>
No. 60510 ID: bd2eec

Find and capture a Pidgeotto, and a Magmar.

Bomb the gyms.
>>
No. 60512 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503059324.png - (115.18KB , 800x600 , 18.png )
60512

TO THE GYM

>"BIDOOF we have to go to the gymOH MY GOD"

>Bidoof is suffering from bellyache due to eating too much indigestible wood.
>>
No. 60515 ID: bd2eec

>>60512
BIDOOF IS DOWN FOR THE COUNT

QUICK, FIND SOME OTHER POKEMON AND PUNCH IT OUT
AND CAPTURE IT
>>
No. 60519 ID: d2ec7d

Bring her to the pokevet! Hit on the hot vet!
>>
No. 60520 ID: 9e9b47

>>60512

Return it, or borrow her Jigglypuff to continue on your path to poon.
>>
No. 60527 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503107112.png - (102.19KB , 800x600 , 19.png )
60527

>"HEY LISTEN IM GOING TO TAKE THIS THING TO THE POKEVET BUT THEN IM GONNA BEAT ALL THE GYMS AND SLAM YOUR SNATCH IN A MONTH OKAY?! SEE YA!!!!"

Okay wait do I go to Oak or to the next town
>>
No. 60529 ID: f4963f

Whatever's closer, just get HEAL'D.
>>
No. 60530 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503119391.png - (77.51KB , 800x600 , 20.png )
60530

>"OOOOOAAAAAKKK!!!!"
>"HOLY SHIT!!!"
>>
No. 60534 ID: 9e9b47

>>60530

Help me out my little bastard ate too much wood but at least I won a match and if you don't help me out I'll never get to slam that chick's sweet snatch!
>>
No. 60539 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503148385.png - (75.39KB , 800x600 , 21.png )
60539

>"Help me out my little bastard ate too much wood but at least I won a match and if you don't help me out I'll never get to slam that chick's sweet snatch!"
>"What?"
>"Soz I meant HELP ME OUT THE LITTLE BASTARD AT TOO MUCH WOOD BUT ATLEAST I WON A MATCH AN--"
>"Okay, I don't care! I'll heal him! Where is your Pokéball?"

FUCK
>>
No. 60540 ID: f4963f

>>60539
GO FIND IT BITCH.
>>
No. 60541 ID: 9e9b47

>>60539

GOD DAMMIT

Run back as fast as you can
>>
No. 60550 ID: fb5d8e
File 12550322274.png - (99.27KB , 800x600 , 22.png )
60550

there's a skitty playing with it
>>
No. 60553 ID: bffa2a

>>60550

Jump on top of skitty, use that wrestling maneuver you saw on tv. The tombstone, it was pretty cool.
>>
No. 60554 ID: 8b7db1

>>60550
Make sure her Wailord boyfriend isn't around, then take back your damn ball. Then snatch the Skitty, and ask Oak for a ball for your Skitty.
>>
No. 60555 ID: f4963f

>>60550
GET YE SKITTY.
>>
No. 60556 ID: d1210a

>>60550
BODY SLAM BOTH.

Pick up both, and run back, DONE MANLY STYLE
>>
No. 60557 ID: 9e9b47

>>60550

Grab ball in one hand, skitty in the other.

Actually, just capture skitty if you can and continue on.
>>
No. 60558 ID: b5299b

>>60550
Clive, you are a pokeyman master, assuredly you have some moves of your own.

USE HYPERBEAM
>>
No. 60561 ID: e3f578

Axe him for help.
>>
No. 60568 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503318016.png - (130.28KB , 800x600 , 23.png )
60568

ILL GET THAT SKITTY!!!

>"ILL GET YOU, SKITTY!"
>"Ski..tty..?"
>>
No. 60571 ID: bffa2a

Piledriver! Piledriver!
>>
No. 60574 ID: f44349

>>60568
A

C
A
T

I
S

F
I
N
E

T
O
O
>>
No. 60581 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503412340.png - (120.46KB , 800x600 , 24.png )
60581

YES!!!!
I GOT ITT!!!!
>>
No. 60582 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503414316.png - (57.84KB , 800x600 , 25.png )
60582

..huh?!

>"Sk.. skitty.. skitty..."
>>
No. 60584 ID: 78ce76

>>60582
prepare for rapin'
>>
No. 60586 ID: 954933

>>60454
>>60508

Being beaten in POKECOMBAT = TIT SIZE DOUBLING?

We must explore this hypothesis further!
>>
No. 60588 ID: d2ec7d

Scratch that belly!
>>
No. 60589 ID: 7eda8b

Throw it into the woods.
>>
No. 60590 ID: bffa2a

I don't know what.

Is this a form of combat? Mayby it's a tickle fight?
>>
No. 60596 ID: 9e9b47

>>60582

Capture this pokemon. It is obviously the one for you.
>>
No. 60597 ID: 632862

>>60582
Become unnerved. Pick up pokeball, quickly walk away.
>>
No. 60601 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503494765.png - (55.84KB , 800x600 , 26.png )
60601

uhh scratch the belly?
okay i guess

>"Skii-!!! Sk-skitty!!! Skkiiii--!"
>>
No. 60602 ID: 4ac1cf

Oh shit! Its trying to mate! Quick, get some other pokemon in here stat so you can get some kickass pokemon egg!
>>
No. 60603 ID: acaa40

Keep it up, man.
>>
No. 60604 ID: f44349

>>60574
>>60582
>>60601
Hahahah oh god
I was just kidding what are you doing
>>
No. 60605 ID: 2dd482

>>60602
I think you Pokemon scrambled egg

MMM GOOD!
>>
No. 60606 ID: bffa2a

Oh man, this isin't fighting... what is doing?

"What are you doing you stupid poykeymaan?"

It's really cute though and after neither of you would be virgins~--- Oh mannn, what are you doing you stupid Skitty.
>>
No. 60608 ID: 2adb83

Become disgusted by yourself, and seek psychological help.
>>
No. 60610 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503527456.png - (86.19KB , 800x600 , 27.png )
60610

>"OAKEY I GOT ANOTHER ONE GIMME POKEBALL"
>"What-- Pokeballs arent free, young man!"
>>
No. 60611 ID: 5696d4

>>60610

SCREW THE BALLS, I GOT MONEY.
>>
No. 60612 ID: 9cc8fd

>>60610
Aren't they like, $2? Here, have $10.
>>
No. 60614 ID: 9e9b47

>>60610

I got CASH man! Don't be such a buzzkill!
>>
No. 60615 ID: bffa2a

"ALSO THIS ONE IS NOT HEALTHY EITHER, IT DOSEN'T SEEM TO WANT TO FIGHT. WOULD YOU LOOK AT IT?"
>>
No. 60616 ID: b94893

>>60601
This japanese isn't right.

It's the hiragana character for "Ha" with a katakana small "tsu," it should be a hiragana tsu or a katakana ha.

Also, the stroke order is wrong, the katakana small tsu's longer line is drawn from bottom left to upper right.
>>
No. 60619 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503567444.png - (78.14KB , 800x600 , 28.png )
60619

>"Okay, okay, now take your healthy pokemon and get out!"
>"fuck yes"

okay guys LISTEN i just lost 10 bucks but now i have two sweet ass pokemon
bidoof named DEPRA-- I mean DERPA
and a skitty
>>
No. 60620 ID: 5696d4

>>60619

Are they both female?
>>
No. 60621 ID: 84ae51

Name your Skitty Slitty
>>
No. 60622 ID: d2ec7d

DERPA and HURR(a?)
>>
No. 60623 ID: 9e9b47

>>60619

ONWARD TO VICTORY AND GLORY AND A HOT WIFE
>>
No. 60625 ID: 5696d4

>>60623

TO THE GLORY HOLE
>>
No. 60627 ID: bffa2a

>>60619

You must improve them so the only logical thing to do is to have them fight each other TO THE DEATH.
>>
No. 60631 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503602987.png - (96.39KB , 800x600 , 29.png )
60631

okay listen im running down the path to the next city right now but i could also run the gras i guess
but listen when should i let them fight
cos i dunno i cant do it while runnin

BUT HEY okay
>"skitty your name is now Slitty cos youre p sexy i dunno"
>>
No. 60632 ID: 4ac1cf

You should totally try crossbreading them.
>>
No. 60633 ID: d1210a

>>60631
Go find some new trainers, and KICK THEIR FACES IN.
>>
No. 60636 ID: bffa2a

>>60632

Would that work?
>>
No. 60637 ID: 5696d4

>>60632

Croissant Bread? :3
>>
No. 60638 ID: 9e9b47

>>60631

Run to the next town! We have no more pokeballs unless we wanna carry them again!

Actually that shit worked last time RUN THROUGH THE GRASS
>>
No. 60639 ID: a4f64b

>>60632
They're both in the Ground egg group ._.
>>
No. 60642 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503644819.png - (125.38KB , 800x600 , 30.png )
60642

CROSSBREEDING?!
u mad
i could never do such a thin--
>>
No. 60643 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503646115.png - (106.10KB , 800x600 , 31.png )
60643

...
>>
No. 60646 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503647535.png - (202.07KB , 800x600 , 32.png )
60646

...
>>
No. 60647 ID: cd08c0

>>60642
>>60643
>>60646
Do it.
>>
No. 60648 ID: 9e9b47

>>60646

NOT CROSSBREEDING LIKE THAT! AHHH!
>>
No. 60649 ID: 7eda8b

Steve is going to kick your fucking ass.
>>
No. 60650 ID: acaa40

Go for it, man. Nothing bad could possibly happen.
>>
No. 60651 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503661686.png - (126.78KB , 800x600 , 33.png )
60651

Oh you mean bidoof and skitty
i dunno
>>
No. 60652 ID: 7d87d9

In b4 Skitty KILLS you.
>>
No. 60656 ID: acaa40

That works too.
>>
No. 60657 ID: 9d41ab

FUCK DAT POKEMON! You know you want to. It's a lot easier than beatin' all the gym leaders, and you gotta practice up for hotcrotch.
>>
No. 60658 ID: cd08c0

>>60651
Skitty doesn't look all that into Derp.
>>
No. 60659 ID: bffa2a

No no no. You need to get them drunk first and play Barry Moore.
>>
No. 60662 ID: 5696d4

I thought both Pokemon are female?

Unless...
>>
No. 60665 ID: 8b7db1

The eyes, the EYES...
>>
No. 60666 ID: 7d87d9

... Clive's an idiot. Maybe he'll be put out of his misery by a thankful Electrode
>>
No. 60669 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503695964.png - (96.40KB , 800x600 , 34.png )
60669

OH YEAH THEYRE BOTH FEMALE
I AM SO STUPD
>>
No. 60671 ID: 18212a

Ok, back to plan A on the crossbreeding.
>>
No. 60672 ID: acaa40

WELL I GUESS YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO GET INVOLVED AFTER ALL THEN.
>>
No. 60673 ID: 8b7db1

STUPID ARE YOU.

GO OUT AND FIGHT SHIT.
>>
No. 60674 ID: fd6933

>>60657
Damn right! You don't wanna disappoint your lady-friend in bed, do ya?
>>
No. 60675 ID: bffa2a

Well you'll have to do then. But that is so nasty.. mmmm
>>
No. 60676 ID: 632862

>>60669
Get in that grass and fight stuff.
>>
No. 60685 ID: b5299b

1. Find the Mystery Dungeon
2. Get turned into a Pokemon
3. Hot Skitty Action

This plan is foolproof.
>>
No. 60691 ID: 4553b2

>>60685
You do know that if he does that, he'll turn into a Wailord, right?
>>
No. 60692 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503761196.png - (128.20KB , 800x600 , 35.png )
60692

alright well... if it's that important..

>"Let's do it, Skitty."
>>
No. 60693 ID: 5696d4

>>60691

Or worse.

A female Mew.
>>
No. 60695 ID: 836eb8

Look, who is to say whether a pokemon is a boy or a girl,aye? Just get bidoof in a tuxedo or something and BAM. Super beaver-things everywhere.

But enough mucking about. Have you forgot your goal of tapping dat parasol weilding ass? Get to a gym, posthaste!
>>
No. 60700 ID: bffa2a

Oh you murr. How can you be thinking of doing this? At least kiss first.
>>
No. 60701 ID: 836eb8

>>60692
Yeah, ok. Lets see where this goes.
>>
No. 60702 ID: fb5d8e
File 125503777414.png - (10.73KB , 800x600 , 36-end.png )
60702

>>
No. 60703 ID: bd2eec

>>60692
do not fuck the skitty
go fight stuff
make your brother proud
>>
No. 60705 ID: 8b7db1

>>60692
Bah, mood is gone. Lets do the battle thing, THEN make hot passionate love.
>>
No. 60706 ID: bffa2a

Oh shit, the pokepolice got him.
>>
No. 60707 ID: b5299b

>>60702
This is why you need to find the Mystery Dungeon first, I mean GAW.
>>
No. 60709 ID: 632862

>>60702
BAD END.

Finally, I got to see a quest end in failure!
>>
No. 60710 ID: acaa40

GREAT, uh, SUCCESS?

Or actually maybe not so great, I don't know.
>>
No. 60714 ID: 49d6d7

>>60702
Are you implying that pokemon are animals?
>>
No. 60715 ID: 4553b2

>>60714
They ARE animals. Fictional animals with super powers.
>>
No. 60718 ID: f98e0b

I am actually fully OK with this ending.
>>
No. 60719 ID: 9dd38f

>>60715

What about the ones that are sentient?
>>
No. 60724 ID: da016e

I approve of this quest.
>>
No. 60725 ID: 632862

>>60719
Less bestiality, more xenophilia.
>>
No. 60726 ID: 2dd482

>>60719
then it moves into "is it still bestiality to fuck a nonpolymorphed dragon?" territory
>>
No. 60767 ID: b94893

>>60726
If it's sentient, sure.

Now you have to define sentience. Have fun with that boatload of drama...
>>
No. 60863 ID: b5299b

>Load last save point
>>
No. 60865 ID: 1689ab

>>60863
Agreed.
>>
No. 60870 ID: e98c4f

This shit is amazing.
>>
No. 60875 ID: de913c

>This thread

...

...

...

...

...D:
>>
No. 60891 ID: a1ac99

>>60767
The word you're looking for is sapience which is human level cognition and reasoning. The word you're using is sentience which is self-awareness. All animals are sentient, not all animals are sapient.
>>
No. 60892 ID: 632862

>>60891
Not quite true. Self-awareness is something that not all animals have. The most basic test is to plop one in front of a mirror and check to see if it reacts as if there's another animal there.
>>
No. 60895 ID: 8b7db1

>>60892
I thought the test was to put something unusually on the animal's side, then place a mirror in front of it. If the animal positions itself to get a better look at the thing in the mirror, then they were sentient.
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No. 60899 ID: a1ac99

>>60892
Problem is that once they realize that it's not an animal, that doesn't work anymore. It's more that they don't understand the idea of a reflection.

For example, cats are moderately intelligent, occasionally pack hunters and relatively social animals. They jump at mirrors, but they only do it once or twice because they realize that it is a flat plane and not another animal.
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No. 60940 ID: 476456

Pokemantics.
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No. 61218 ID: f4963f

>>60863
>Load last save point
We must win her HAND IN MARRIAGE.

NO BEASTIALITY THIS TIME GUYS. >:(
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