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File 141792883141.png - (7.46KB , 800x600 , Hat01.png )
609602 No. 609602 ID: 3ec38a

The great wizard conference is coming soon and your hat needs to be A LOT cooler for it. How shall you change your wizard hat?
Expand all images
>>
No. 609604 ID: 84a9e4

Turn it inside out
hip right?
>>
No. 609605 ID: 2e3edf

For starters, stop fucking around with that parking cone and go get an actual hat.
>>
No. 609606 ID: eda40f

Well, first, you need to put a sweet wizard eye on it. Make sure the pupil is the most bomb-ass jewel you've got, too. Then you may as well cover the rest of the sucker with jewels.
Also, it's got to have a ridiculously large brim that almost obscures your face completely. That should do it, unless you ensorcell it to be able to talk, as well.
>>
No. 609607 ID: 01745f

Step 1: Wear a cowboy hat
Step 2: Shoot anyone who complains with magic and/or pistols
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit
>>
No. 609608 ID: 6e79d4

put a feather in it.
>>
No. 609609 ID: 6d4898

put a bird on it
>>
No. 609611 ID: 0f3813

Apply bismuth.
>>
No. 609613 ID: 4c5cf2
File 141793031761.gif - (127.53KB , 400x300 , improved wizard hat.gif )
609613

>>609602
You need to work some magic and bling that shit up.

Immediately.
>>
No. 609620 ID: 3ec38a
File 141793182685.png - (13.73KB , 800x600 , Hat02.png )
609620

You throw away the parking cone, get a cowboy hat, turn it inside out, add wizard eye and like a MILLION gems, enlarge the brim, put a feather on it, put the rest of the bird on it, give it some bismuth, and then enchant it to speak. It then talks at length about how it SMOKES WEED EVERYDAY.

This is pretty cool now! But nowhere near as cool as...
>>
No. 609622 ID: 90504c

Make it orange, with a wide, horizontal white stripe in the middle.

Or make it look like it's made from the night sky. A constantly shifting, swirling night sky. As if it's always in motion, even if it's not.
>>
No. 609623 ID: 3ec38a
File 141793217567.png - (19.14KB , 800x600 , Hat03.png )
609623

...Sir Sirrah Serrah's hat! He wore a comfy snow hat with a small warship, a baby panda, an anchor, a surround sound system, communism incarnate, three illuminati symbols, the Declaration of Interdependence, a moustache, and enchanted to repeat everything you say in a mocking tone!

That smug bastard! You need to make your hat EVEN COOLER.
>>
No. 609626 ID: eda40f

>>609620
Use your wizard hat as an additional magical focus to summon an efreeti, then use your wish to make Sirrah Serrah's hat totally lame. Then, just to rub it in, add a few drink dispensers to your hat for quick potion access, and don't forget to put a giant red #1 on it so everyone will know who is number one. (Hint: it's you.)
>>
No. 609627 ID: 2ec61a

it needs to be able to read minds and say whatever they say at the exact same time they say and in an even more stupid voice. double redundant in case they have mind shields in their hats, one probe distracts the shield spell and the other actually read's their mind.
>>
No. 609629 ID: 89b2a2

>>609623
Get a demonic hat that eats other hats, thereby absorbing their coolness into itself.
>>
No. 609636 ID: 687279

>>609623
...put LEDs on it.
>>
No. 609649 ID: 0f3813

Put a micro planetoid floating around it.
And make the planetoid be inhabited by snarky jocks.
>>
No. 609657 ID: 3ec38a
File 141794132576.png - (26.14KB , 800x600 , Hat04.png )
609657

You summon an efreeti which makes Sir Sirrah Serrah's hat TOTALLY LAME. Taken that!

Then you add drink dispensers, a giant number one, a bunch of LEDs, a small orbiting planeload full of MINDREADING jocks who say what the other person is going to exactly when they say it in a stupid, snarky voice, and make your hat a hat-eating demonic hat. Then you make it the color of the everchanging night sky. If the night sky were bright orange with a white stripe.

Now THIS is really cool! But it's not quite as cool as....
>>
No. 609659 ID: 534cc4

You need your hat to be made of enchanted gold, ultra light with miniature rock and roll gods performing on the brim of your hat, eternally playing what you command, on a concert stage.
>>
No. 609660 ID: 3ec38a
File 141794198609.png - (20.35KB , 800x600 , Hat05.png )
609660

...Sir Nahn Canoon's hat! He is wearing a top hat bearing a pear tree with twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five gold rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and one extremely rude Partridge. He even has a stocking, a tiny Santa, and rose-tinted holiday glasses! The hat is enchanted to sing THAT ONE SONG that annoys you the most.

What a seasonally appropriate asshole! You need to step up your game!
>>
No. 609671 ID: 687279

Put your wizard tower on top of your hat.

Let's see anyone beat THAT.
>>
No. 609673 ID: b104b8

Put your hat on a hat that's on a hat while you put THAT hat on a hat that's on your head

#hatception)
>>
No. 609676 ID: a19cd5

Make it exist at all points in time at once. Also install a pez dispenser.
>>
No. 609677 ID: 3b1e59

Give the hat tons of glitter and borrow the ideas from Sir Nahn Canoon by ripping him off entirely, but adding jingle bells and a red nosed reindeer
>>
No. 609688 ID: 2ec61a

add all the hats from Tf2 to your hat and enchant it to automatically summon any new hats that appear.
>>
No. 609730 ID: 400eda

You need to hat a hat so you can hat a hat. It's simply logic, really.

Also, get professional help from a couple of Mercenaries if all else fails.
>>
No. 609733 ID: 37aa84

It's all Christmas themed Sir Canoon's hat would lose so much credibility if you were to abolish Christmas. Also your hat should be more on fire that'll really make it look snazzy.
>>
No. 609737 ID: 6e79d4

Get a bigger bird sitting in a nest containing the infant savior, orbited by angels singing praise. enchant the hat to burn eternally and shine an annoying light into the eyes of people who annoy you.
>>
No. 609738 ID: 4c5cf2

Make your hat fractal. Your hat needs to be constructed out of ever smaller versions of itself.
>>
No. 609852 ID: 84fe03

Infinite hats on fire = infinite energy. Your hat will solve the world's energy crisises.
>>
No. 609857 ID: 373c1b

take the cone hat from before, add the third round of doo-dads to it, and stack it on the hat you've got!
And add to those doo-dads a hannukah candlier thing. It's HAPPY HOLIDAYS GOOD SIR!
>>
No. 609874 ID: d3be40

You are overdoing it.

You're a WIZARD. THINK WITH YOUR BRAIN.

Create magic systems that produce illusions that make your wizard hat look cool without using too much weight or overheating! Hologram magics, interactive magics, anything!

Putting too much heavy stuff just makes you look like an idiot - what kind of wizard thinks that strength is everything?! A STUPID wizard, that's what! Putting on a big show using little resources makes you look smart! All the other wizards will be asking "Holy crap, how are you doing all this" and then you'll be all like "I figured out how to divide the work into submagics which are really easy to create" and they'll all take notes from you and admire you for your smarts which is what wizards are about!

Well?

START BRAINSTORMING EFFICIENT MAGIC ILLUSIONS AND TRICKS!
>>
No. 610113 ID: 53f127

>>609738
Seconding this idea. Mandelbrot set hat ftw!

Alternatively, less is more. Get one of those Swedish Minimalist hats. It will really stand out among all the stupid looking hats.
>>
No. 610203 ID: f461c5

>>609874
Make your wizard hat larger on the inside.
Put your tower inside it, but make your tower fractal so that it expands throughout all time and space. all hats are in your tower, and your tower is part of your hat. categorically, no hat can be cooler than your hat.
>>
No. 618394 ID: defceb
File 142051210736.png - (1.23MB , 800x2400 , Hat06.png )
618394

You enchant your hat to be made out of gold and then set up a miniature band of rock gods to play on it, add your wizard tower, put your hat on a hat on a hat on a hat(ception), add a pez dispenser, throw tons of glitter all over it, rip of Sir Nahn Canoon's hat entirely but with jingle bells and a red nosed reindeer, add ALL the hats from TF2, hire some mercenaries, abolish Christmas, light your hat on fire, add a bigger bird with the infant savior, some singing angels, MORE fire, a blinking light that will shine at anyone who annoys you, make it all fractal, EVEN MORE fire, then add all of those things to the traffic cone from earlier which you add on top, add the hanukkah stuff, make it all larger on the inside then add more fractal hats on the inside for infinite hats and infinite energy.

Then you make your hat exist at all points in time, destroying relativity in it's wake. Somewhere off in the distance, Albert Einstein cries.

You then go to add a Swedish minimalist hat, but you can only find a picture of Swedish minimalist architecture so you add that too.

Goddamn, this is all so cool! You can't think of a single hat that's cooler than this. But that just means you don't know of...
>>
No. 618396 ID: defceb
File 142051250598.png - (451.54KB , 800x7000 , Hat07.png )
618396

...Miss Swiss Miss' hat! Framed by her GLORIOUS DRILL HAIR, her hat has the ancient pillars of Cthulean horror, a swarm of majestic unicorns, the entirety of the Greek pantheon fighting against the ancient titans, the crushing weight of their parent's disappointment, speed racer wearing a slightly more comfortable hat, a mirror that reflects you but with slightly more muffin top and chin fat. Upon all of this rests their allocation of alliteration arrays allowing thirteen thundering tornadoes, a collection of clipart claxons, vivacious vivid vuvuzelas, terrifying tigers, naughty yet noble knights wearing horned hats that are hard of hearing, with wise wizards wandering woefully, quacking quandrious quails, and a macabre macaw making malicious melons.

They also have a certificate of authenticity for the hat. It's a collector's item don'tcha know?

AAhhhg! Alliteration! That's a real force multiplier. And look at how tall it is! Not to mention they were the third coolest person at last year's conference. Everyone is gonna think they're super cool to begin with. You'll need to muster every ounce of literary and linguistic might to surpass them!
>>
No. 618416 ID: d3be40

Okay, STOP.

This is getting out of hand. You need to upshow your rivals, not obsess with near-impossible goals!!!

Why not make your wizard hat start out small and grow bigger holograms and more complex lightshows as time passes?
>>
No. 618419 ID: 33565b

Alright it's obvious we need to break out the big guns now. Outfit your hat with a black hole that will devour and incorporate all lesser hats into itself. It will steadily grow larger and larger as it devours the weakest hats allowing it to grow and eventually devour greater and greater hats until it can devour that greatest hat ever conceived by wizard and become a hat even greater than has ever been conceived before.
>>
No. 618425 ID: 16700f

>>618419
Are you mad? That's untested technology. Even with a best case scenario, we end up destroying the hats of completely innocent people who just want their heads covered. Worst case, shit gets metaphysical and it ends up eating the entire concept of hats, and I'm NOT sticking around to clean up that kind of shit again.
>>
No. 618428 ID: defceb
File 142052294756.png - (9.03KB , 800x600 , Hat08.png )
618428

>Okay, STOP.
>This is getting out of hand. You need to upshow your rivals, not obsess with near-impossible goals!!!

Maybe it is time to stop. Your obsession with extravagant hats has gotten out of hand. It used to be all fun and games, adding flair to hats. Now it's all wizards do day in and day you.

The therapists' number sits unused in your notebook.

You used to have a family.
>>
No. 618429 ID: defceb
File 142052296701.png - (11.08KB , 800x600 , Hat09.png )
618429

Now you just have an unhealthy obsession with absurd hats.
>>
No. 618430 ID: defceb
File 142052301888.png - (9.24KB , 800x600 , Hat10.png )
618430

You create the black hole hat.

>Are you mad? That's untested technology.

AND THEREFORE THE COOLEST TECHNOLOGY.
>>
No. 618442 ID: 687279

>>618430
...this should be enough. Show up with that one.
>>
No. 618444 ID: defceb
File 142052645196.png - (11.58KB , 800x600 , Hat11.png )
618444

You show up with the black hole hat. It promptly consumes every hat in the vicinity. And the building.
>>
No. 618445 ID: defceb
File 142052650041.png - (12.29KB , 800x600 , Hat12.png )
618445

No mortal hat is safe against your all-consuming power. The world crumbles under the might how damn cool it's become.
>>
No. 618446 ID: defceb
File 142052656255.png - (13.34KB , 800x600 , Hat13.png )
618446

Not even the stars are safe! The great cosmic hats are absorbed into your own.
>>
No. 618448 ID: defceb
File 142052669973.png - (28.31KB , 800x600 , Hat14.png )
618448

"Enough!" A great voice echoes across the increasingly barren cosmos. The void cracks open revealing the very Heaven of all hats. The clouds part, angels sing, and the great God of hats glares down upon you.

"You have gone too far! If you don't redeem yourself with a hat so splendorous even I am impressed I will smite you this instant!"
>>
No. 618449 ID: b7c448

Fire Hawking radiation into his face then assume the Hat Throne.
>>
No. 618452 ID: 42443a

Use the black hole as a wormhole- tap into all possible alternate universes. Express all possible hats as the superposition of greatest hat possible.
>>
No. 618453 ID: d3be40

Make the hat that contains his brain.
>>
No. 618454 ID: 687279

>>618448
Bend the very fabric of the universe into a hat shape. MAKE THE UNIVERSE INTO A HAT.
>>
No. 618463 ID: 89b2a2

>>618448
Make... a perfectly simple hat.

Not just simple.

PERFECTLY simple. A return to the basics. A hat that not just looks good, but makes the wearer look good.
>>
No. 618468 ID: 534cc4

>>618463
You have transended to a state of perfect oneness with hats.

Create a simple and classy hat, practical. Something someone would want to wear, something thats fashionable and something you want to wear, but something perfectly simple.
>>
No. 618607 ID: defceb
File 142060305702.png - (7.49KB , 800x600 , Hat15.png )
618607

>Use the black hole as a wormhole- tap into all possible alternate universes. Express all possible hats as the superposition of greatest hat possible.
>Make the hat that contains his brain.
>Bend the very fabric of the universe into a hat shape.
>Make... a perfectly simple hat.
>You have transcended to a state of perfect oneness with hats.
>>
No. 618609 ID: defceb
File 142060322035.png - (13.52KB , 800x600 , Hat16.png )
618609

Scientists of all ages have looked out to understand the greater nature of the universe. The named atoms and peered into the hearts of galaxies in their pursuit. But they were all wrong.
>>
No. 618610 ID: defceb
File 142060327319.png - (15.53KB , 800x600 , Hat17.png )
618610

It's just hats. All the way down it's hats. With your magic you've warped the very basis of reality into hats.
>>
No. 618611 ID: defceb
File 142060330509.png - (7.52KB , 800x600 , hat18.png )
618611

Everything is now hats.
>>
No. 618612 ID: defceb
File 142060334695.png - (28.64KB , 800x600 , Hat19.png )
618612

"It's so beautiful!" The God says while weeping at your creation.
>>
No. 618613 ID: defceb
File 142060336771.png - (25.34KB , 800x600 , Hat20.png )
618613

THEN you shoot him with Hawking Radiation and ascend to the Hat Throne.
>>
No. 618614 ID: defceb
File 142060339248.png - (21.23KB , 800x600 , Hat21.png )
618614

>>
No. 618617 ID: 687279

>>618614
But were the wizards at the conference impressed?
>>
No. 618621 ID: 01745f

Hat/Hat would hat again.
>>
No. 618629 ID: 256d52

Bravo, wizard! Bravo!
>>
No. 618654 ID: d3be40

Hat hat hat hat hattily hatter hatter.
Hat Hat.
>>
No. 618659 ID: eb959a

Heh what's going on? What was that about hats?
>>
No. 618660 ID: 534cc4

Hat/Hats hats hat hat. Hat hat hat, hathatathat hat hat my hat. So hat i hat everyhat.
>>
No. 618661 ID: 534cc4

>>618617
And no, the ungateful unappreciative snobs.
>>
No. 618686 ID: 3181a5

>>618660
What! Seriously! Dammit I missed the whole thing!
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