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File 144080299559.jpg - (159.32KB , 640x720 , SK Stupid Quest Title.jpg )
665423 No. 665423 ID: 3009b4

Welcome to Spike and Kitty's Terrible Stupid Quest!

Spike and Kitty are two cat characters I created when I was in school for dumb children and teens. (Actually I think I had a kangaroo character at 10)

I haven't seem them in years but the discussion of "terrible things you created as a child" came up and this is my terrible thing.

Spike is a nuclear-powered 80's wrestler-fighting man who's oblivious to girls.

Kitty is a lightning-powered ninja-lawyer who realized that the only way ninjas survive is when they become heroes (otherwise they're canon fodder).

Together, they fight crime.
101 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
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No. 765003 ID: e136ae
File 148140235911.jpg - (128.97KB , 640x720 , SK Stupid Quest 28.jpg )
765003

Kitty: So anyway, I'm pretty sure we're here to murder the hell out of your boss. Possibly to also pet faeries.

>>764967
>Presumably looking at the data on that Bayonetta field study. Spike, turn Snoogie-Boo around to look at something else.

Spike: I'll put him in a little carrier and keep him safe.

Snoogie-Boo: Wow, so you're doing what I told you I didn't want you to do... by broadcasting through your strawman monster that I didn't want you to do it.

Spike: Awww you're NOT made of straw widdle Snoogie-Boo! You made of fwuff and cootness and widdle fangs and widdle horns and you like widdle Fizzgig from "The Dark Crystal" and I wuv you!

Kitty: So anyway, we need intel on BOSS FIGHTS as Kome suggested. What can you tell us about your boss?

Stranner: He's a horrible little man?

Kitty: Any particular strengths or weaknesses? Bullet immunity, ninja training... giant laser pointed at the moon?

Stranner: No, he's just a horrible little man.

Kitty: Huh.

Spike: We can't just kill him out-right that'd be too easy, isn't that right Snoogie-Boo?

Kitty: You're just gonna keep gushing over that thing, aren't you? But Spike's right, there's no way we can do something like just walk up and cut his head off. It'd be too quick and there's no challenge to just offing some vile little man hiding behind his tenure in a simplistic way. We gotta get Bugs Bunny up in this bitch.

Mary, Naughty Science Faerie: Actually we have a...

Kitty: Shut your whore mouth.
>>
No. 765005 ID: 3abd97

Technically, I think a strawman has to use deliberately faulty arguments to misrepresent or slander a position. Obnoxiously repeating whatever someone else says verbatim is... uh, not so much a logical fallacy as playground taunting.

>there's no way we can do something like just walk up and cut his head off.
Especially if this is still an 80s cartoons, because you can only use the edges of your weapons against robots, clones, and other inhuman things.

...maybe we need to turn him into a robot so he's okay to murderize.
>>
No. 765009 ID: e136ae
File 148140493906.jpg - (104.02KB , 640x720 , SK STuipd Quest 29.jpg )
765009

>>764982

Bison: DID SOMEONE SAY "TUESDAY"?
>>
No. 765010 ID: e136ae
File 148140495127.jpg - (91.24KB , 640x720 , Sk Stupid Quest 30.jpg )
765010

...
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No. 765011 ID: e136ae
File 148140496443.jpg - (88.91KB , 640x720 , SK STuipd Quest 31.jpg )
765011

...?
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No. 765013 ID: e136ae
File 148140499537.jpg - (88.68KB , 640x720 , Sk Stupid Quest 32.jpg )
765013

...
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No. 765014 ID: e136ae
File 148140500314.jpg - (87.15KB , 640x720 , SK STuipd Quest 33.jpg )
765014

...
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No. 765015 ID: e136ae
File 148140501246.jpg - (104.21KB , 640x720 , Sk Stupid Quest 34.jpg )
765015

!!!
>>
No. 765016 ID: e136ae
File 148140502792.jpg - (101.65KB , 640x720 , SK STuipd Quest 35.jpg )
765016

Bison: OK BYE!!!
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No. 765023 ID: 180f83

Well, that was delicious.
>>
No. 765078 ID: d9aa71

>>765016
YES
YES

Now that was a important moment in our lives.
>>
No. 765082 ID: 97816b

Is that a Commissar pretending to be M.Bison or is that M.Bison as the new Commissar?
>>
No. 765244 ID: 8cb228

...what just happened?
>>
No. 765394 ID: 51f070

>>765244
For us? The most important day of our lives.

For him? Just another tuesday.

its a reference to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlhOUyy4wbs
>>
No. 767497 ID: e136ae
File 148239270243.jpg - (111.01KB , 640x720 , SK Stupid Quest 36.jpg )
767497

Kitty: Hey Stranner? Is your boss's name Chester by any chance?

Stranner: Why?
>>
No. 767498 ID: 094652

Kitty, what are you planning...
>>
No. 767499 ID: e136ae
File 148239305696.jpg - (138.20KB , 640x720 , SK Stuipd Quest 37.jpg )
767499

Kitty: Oh, just that there's a joke I could be making if it is. Merry Christmas, Stranner.

Stranner: Murder is probably the least appropriate Christmas gift ever.

Kitty: Are you a vegetarian?

Stranner: No.

Kitty: Meat's not murder?

Stranner: No.

Kitty: If we eat him afterwards it's not murder.

Stranner: Cannibalism is probably the least appropriate Christmas gift ever.

Kitty: It's not cannibalism for us, we're not human.


DECISION TIME!

1. Spare Stranner's boss because it's Christmas.

2. Roast Stranner's boss because it'd be a dark Christmas miracle.

3. Roast and then eat Stranner's boss because meat isn't murder and Spike and Kitty aren't human anyway. Stranner can have fried chicken instead.

4. This is terrible and I'm going to hell, you suggest something else.
>>
No. 767504 ID: 595d54

Give him a chance to earn his life. By which I mean deport him somewhere in Africa or Asia where he won't be a problem for Stranner, at least for the next few months. If he survives and makes it back home he's earned it.
>>
No. 767505 ID: 094652

Kill Stranner before he can revive his boss, then use his corpse as a connection between the fireplace and all the explosives you can find, then take all the porn that is useless to you (none of your fetishes, poor quality, has no connection to science, cannot be sold for more than the medium it's painted on) and post it on the fireplace and walls, then place all the good porn and technology outside and have flycatcher guard it, then use their phones and any other Wi-Fi recording devices to stream the whole thing live, then chase out all the other employees at swordpoint, then light the fuse and make sure you insult them one last time before you dash straight to the exit!
>>
No. 767523 ID: 180f83

Wait, his boss is name Chester... Don't worry about it, because he is actually Chester cheetah, and he'll taste like Cheetos.
>>
No. 767539 ID: e136ae
File 148242883396.jpg - (152.31KB , 640x720 , SK Stupid Quest 38.jpg )
767539

>>767504
>Give him a chance to earn his life. By which I mean deport him somewhere in Africa or Asia where he won't be a problem for Stranner, at least for the next few months. If he survives and makes it back home he's earned it.

Spike: That sounds expensive. Maybe we could ask Santa for a favour?
>>
No. 767540 ID: 595d54

>>767539
Nah just do something like Team Rocket blasting off and aim him in the direction of Asia/Africa. He'll be fiiiiiiine, cartoon physics demand it.
>>
No. 767546 ID: e136ae
File 148242923132.jpg - (213.65KB , 640x720 , SK Stupid Quest 39.jpg )
767546

>>767505
>Kill Stranner before he can revive his boss, then use his corpse as a connection between the fireplace and all the explosives you can find, then take all the porn that is useless to you (none of your fetishes, poor quality, has no connection to science, cannot be sold for more than the medium it's painted on) and post it on the fireplace and walls, then place all the good porn and technology outside and have flycatcher guard it, then use their phones and any other Wi-Fi recording devices to stream the whole thing live, then chase out all the other employees at swordpoint, then light the fuse and make sure you insult them one last time before you dash straight to the exit!

Spike: ...

Kitty: ...

Spike: ...

Kitty: ... no sweetie, Stranner is an ally character who hates his boss. He can't revive him, he wouldn't revive him, and he's only marginally interested in eating his corpse.

Stranner: Marginally?
>>
No. 767548 ID: e136ae
File 148242963402.jpg - (139.79KB , 640x720 , SK Stupid Quest 40.jpg )
767548

>>767523
>Wait, his boss is name Chester... Don't worry about it, because he is actually Chester cheetah, and he'll taste like Cheetos.

Kitty: No dear, "Chester" as in "Chester's nuts roasting on an open fire". Y'know, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire", as in a Christmas song? It's a joke dear, a little 'ha ha' -- at least until I had to explain it.
>>
No. 767561 ID: 180f83

>>767548
I got the joke, I was just making another joke.

Chester might already be dead if he has been suffocating in the present, and isn't struggling. Might as well roast him and get rid of the evidence.
>>
No. 767568 ID: e136ae
File 148243495754.jpg - (132.86KB , 640x720 , SK Stupid Quest 41.jpg )
767568

>>767561
>I got the joke, I was just making another joke.

Kitty: You were? (oh dear). Sorry pumpkin, while on the Internet it's usually a good idea to err on the side of stupid. You know how it is.

>Chester might already be dead if he has been suffocating in the present, and isn't struggling. Might as well roast him and get rid of the evidence.

Spike: He's struggling. Is his name really Chester or are we just calling him that? We could call him Frank or Anthony and say it's a weiner roast.

Kitty: Sssh Spike, the adults are talking.
>>
No. 767639 ID: 180f83

hm, what if we you guys just eat a body part off of him. Won't be murder that way.
>>
No. 771881 ID: e136ae
File 148419471538.jpg - (125.91KB , 640x720 , SK Stuipd Quest 42.jpg )
771881

UnderStranner: Well I was almost going to say to let him off easier but then I remembered the shady crap he pulls and the amount of abuse he gets away with.

Kitty: How about ...

UnderStranner: I'm not into cannibalism.

Kitty: SPIKE! LIGHT 'EM UP BUT SET THE TABLE FOR JUST 2! Wait..

Kitty: Flycatcher, how do you feel about eating...

Flycatcher: You're a terrible person, Kitty.

Kitty: YEAH JUST TWO, SPIKE!
>>
No. 771882 ID: e136ae
File 148419485741.jpg - (101.06KB , 640x720 , Sk Stupid Quest 43.jpg )
771882

Kitty: OK, what the hell are you doing?

Mary, the Sexy Science Fairy: It's for science.

Kitty: Recording some asshole getting roasted alive is for science.

Mary, the Sexy Science Fairy: It's someone's fetish, and in this lab that means it's FOR SCIENCE!

Kitty: Everything is someone's fetish.

Mary, the Sexy Science Fairy: AND THEREFORE EVERYTHING IS A SEXUAL SCIENCE!

Kitty: You're a terrible person.
>>
No. 771886 ID: 143250

Aw man, Mary is going to ruin the moment.

Alright, no burning. let him go.
>>
No. 771892 ID: e136ae
File 148419723575.jpg - (292.95KB , 640x720 , Sk Stupid Quest 44.jpg )
771892

There is a sizable explosion from the fireplace.
>>
No. 771894 ID: e136ae
File 148419786322.jpg - (188.81KB , 640x720 , Sk Stupid Quest 45.jpg )
771894

Spike: GUYS! I THINK STRANNER'S BOSS WAS FULL OF METHANE!

Kitty: ...

Mary: ...

Spike: BECAUSE HE WAS A TERRIBLE PERSON!

Kitty: ...

Mary: ...

Spike: YOU KNOW WHY? IT HAS TO DO WITH POO!

Mary: ...

Kitty: ... 'cause he was an asshole who was always so full of shit?

Spike: THAT IS RIGHT!

Kitty: Spike?

Spike: YES?

Kitty: I'm pretty sure the human body cannot compress methane that effectively to create such a massive explosion.

Spike: It's funnier than us roasting someone alive and then eating said person.

Kitty: True. Also the meat would be ruined if we roasted him whole and alive.

Mary: I'm sure this is still somebody's fetish. An explosion fetish.
>>
No. 771897 ID: 143250

Time to hide the evidence.
>>
No. 784688 ID: e136ae
File 148859888119.jpg - (328.94KB , 640x720 , SK Stupid Quest 46.jpg )
784688

Congratulations! The current mission is considered "Close Enough"! You may now select your next mission:

SELECTION A: "SNOOGIE-BOO, WHERE ARE YOU!" in which we will do a stupid Scooby-Doo parody. While Spike & Snoogie Boo will replace Shaggy & Scooby, Kitty and two others will replace Daphne, Velma, Fred & Scrappy. And then you'll maybe solve a mystery. Maybe.

SELECTION B: Spike & Kitty's Extremely Trendy Dungeon Crawl, in which our crew will take on the roles of Fighter, Thief, Magic-User, Cleric, Bard & Snoogie-Boo and do a dungeon crawl in an very trendy, very exclusive dungeon and most likely irritate the very trendy, very exclusive dungeon master.
>>
No. 784717 ID: 3abd97

>>784688
Dungeon Crawl.
>>
No. 784739 ID: e136ae
File 148861017756.jpg - (365.88KB , 640x720 , SK_ChooseSpikeClass.jpg )
784739

Please choose a class for SPIKE.

Available classes:
- Fighter
- Magic User
- Thief
- Cleric
- Bard
>>
No. 784740 ID: 9145ba

Third grade. Spike was held back a lot in school.
>>
No. 784745 ID: e136ae
File 148861113191.jpg - (446.83KB , 640x720 , SK_ChooseSpikeClass_a.jpg )
784745

You have selected THIRD GRADE class.

Spike will be equipped with SCHOOL SUPPLIES, a SCHOOL UNIFORM, a BACKPACK, PACKED LUNCH and a HALL PASS.

Are you sure? (Y/N)
>>
No. 784747 ID: 094652

LOL no.

Express Class - Spike is now the inventory guy.
>>
No. 784750 ID: 9145ba

>>784747
Why not both?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRjUMEQJnWA
>>
No. 784751 ID: 143250

>>784747
Or maybe the Panda Express class. You are hungry for Chinese food.
>>
No. 784754 ID: e136ae
File 148861381339.jpg - (449.79KB , 640x720 , SK_ChooseSpikeClass_b.jpg )
784754

You have selected THIRD GRADE PANDA EXPRESS CLASS.

Spike will be equipped with a COURIER'S PACK which may contain SCHOOL SUPPLIES, A PACKED LUNCH, PENCILS, CHINESE FOOD, 3RD GRADERS, a PANDA, or some combination thereof.

He also guaranteed to arrive the next business day or you will receive a full refund. This may be less than optimal for Chinese food delivery.


Are you sure? (Y/N)
>>
No. 784764 ID: 143250

Y, or N? I'll go with Q, thanks.
>>
No. 784815 ID: e136ae
File 148865895216.jpg - (463.61KB , 640x720 , SK_ChooseSpikeClass_c.jpg )
784815

>>784764

You have chosen OPTION Q: LET QUICKMAN DECIDE!

Quickman: ... what the crap?

>QUICKMAN, please select a class for SPIKE.

Quickman: ... what the CRAP?!

>Also... ** QUICKMAN JOINS THE PARTY **

Quickman: WHAT THE CRAP?!

>Did you want to go back to the Megaman series?

Quickman: Hell no, Capcom's not given me work in years.

>QUICKMAN joins the lineup of OPTIONAL PARTY MEMBERS which also includes:

- BUFF FLYCATCHER
- SCIENCE ASS FAERIE (whose name is Mary)
- THE UNDERSTRANNER

(Required party members: Spike, Kitty, Snoogie-Boo)

>QUICKMAN, please select a class for SPIKE.

Quickman: Holy crap, what happened to this guy?

>QUEST happened to this guy. They first selected 3RD GRADER, then chose 3RD GRADE PANDA EXPRESS.

Quickman: What were the options?

>Fighter, magic-user, thief, cleric, bard.

Quickman: WHAT THE CRAP?!

>Apparently that's your catch phrase.

Quickman: Geez... umm... he doesn't look too smart, I think we better go with "fighter".

>3RD GRADER comes with a hall pass and packed lunch, you know.

Quickman: Can he take a hit?

>He can take all the hits, especially to the head.

Quickman: OK, yeah, fighter. Look, I think it'd be funny to slot him into another class too but I might have to work with this guy and I don't wanna hear whatever music or sermons he might come up with, and I sure as hell don't want him to play with magic.

SPIKE WILL BE A FIGHTER.
>>
No. 784820 ID: e136ae
File 148866013811.jpg - (371.82KB , 640x720 , SK_ChooseKittyClass.jpg )
784820

Please choose a class for KITTY.

Available classes:
- Magic User
- Thief
- Cleric
- Bard

Kitty: Ninja-lawyer.

>You stay out of this.

Kitty: Why am I in a bra & panties?

>Spike was in boxers.

Kitty: Striped panties. You're pandering, I'm not OK with this. My design's changed again.

>Tough.

Kitty: Spike's design didn't change.

>Spike is a zen-like idiot.

Kitty: ... actually that's fair enough.
>>
No. 784821 ID: 3abd97

>>784820
Well lawyers and ninjas are both sub-classifications of thieves, right? Slap some prestige classes on there and we've got what we want.
>>
No. 784827 ID: e136ae
File 148866208741.jpg - (253.26KB , 640x720 , SK_ChooseParty.jpg )
784827

You have chosen the role of THIEF to fall to KITTY.

Kitty: Holy shit, something sensible.

Please choose 3 of the 4 remaining OPTIONAL PARTY MEMBERS to play the roles of CLERIC, BARD and MAGIC USER.

Your choices:
- PUMPED UP BATTLE FLYCATCHER
- SEXY ASS SCIENCE FAERIE MARIE
- THE TECHPRIEST/PROFESSIONAL LAB WRESTLER UNDERSTRANNER
- "What the Crap?!" QUICKMAN
>>
No. 784833 ID: 3abd97

Flycatcher: bard.

Quickman: cleric. He worships the archetypal speedster. Nice that he can cast haste, the actual speed dependency is a drawback, though.

Science fairy: Have her steal fighter from spike. Tiny fighter fairy and unpredictable idiot mage is clearly the better choice.
>>
No. 784840 ID: 094652

Flycatcher: BattleToadMage
Science Fairy: Bard (With Flashing Headlights as her special ability)
And trade the remaining two characters for a healing artifact:

Fountain of Healing Farts
Size: Small (Dwarf-sized)
Mobile: Yes
Sentient: No (activate with voice commands and contextual input)
Passive Ability: Heal 2HP / Turn
Overdrive: Heals 6HP to a single character, healing power -50% for 2 turns
Full Defense: User gains 105DR (Up to 90% of all damage will be negated, unless Damage Resistance is lowered to less than 90) and 5 Damage Threshold (Unit deducts 5 damage from all attacks, does not affect tactics or status effects)
Buildup: Healing Power -50% for two turns, Healing Power increases by 50% per turn for three turns.
Camping Skill: Can produce dense beef jerky with minor healing properties when fed with pure meat, or other such cooking items.
>>
No. 784861 ID: b412df

Cleric for Understranner? A techpriest is cleric-y and assuming it's DnD style clerics then that should be pretty decent combat-wise, which fits the wrestle-y bit.

Er, for the other two: Flycatcher as Magic user, and Mary as bard? (Although the other way round might be hilarious).
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