Could you all work to together to create a monster scare?

that still doesn't answer why he's here in the first place.

Apollo 2015/09/20(Sun)13:57 No. 670989 ID: defceb
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>What is he even under?

He's hiding under a carpet. Now we all are. "Hey!" I shout.

"Oh, you, go away this is my property."

"Wh-"

"I get scare rights to every boat in the docks in this town. Didn't you see the sign out front? It said 'For Sail'. And what has a sail? A boat. So this is mine now go away."

Apollo 2015/09/20(Sun)13:58 No. 670990 ID: defceb
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"Hey guys! You here early for the house party, too?"

Burn the house down with the other monsters inside. Eliminate the competition.

>>670990
God damn it you claimed this house, totally officially. It's not a boat! Wait what's this about a party tho

Oh, no one lives here. Ditch this place and go find an inhabited house while these losers screw around with this empty piece of crap.

This just screams monster trap.

Split up and find a way out of this place.

for sale... Does anyone even live here anymore then? explore the rest of the house to see if you can't find signs of someone actually living here.

Also who's throwing a party.

On what grounds do monsters gain a claim to a location? Is this some corporate cock-up?

Inquire further on this party business?

The whole house is vacant. If you are steadfast on lurking in this house, you should move to the front hall.

Apollo 2015/09/21(Mon)14:17 No. 671397 ID: defceb
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>Burn the house down with the other monsters inside. Eliminate the competition.
Brilliant! But uh… I don’t know the first thing about burning a house down. It’d probably scare all the other monsters here, though!

>On what grounds do monsters gain a claim to a location?
By beating up everyone who disagrees with them, of course.

>Inquire further on this party business?
“Party? Yeah, of course! I’m here for the uh… whats the party business again?” I ask.

“Only the biggest monster party in town, of course. Literally everyone is going to be here. Brabbitax, the Terrifyingly Terrible. Momonucleus the Obnoxiously Obnoxious. Sahehahehahehahelantotopus the Illegible. ALL the monsters.”

W-why wasn’t I invited? My pride is wounded.

>This just screams monster trap.
Is it…? I should be prepared to run away using my many legs at any given moment.

>explore the rest of the house
We explore the rest of the house, finding more monsters hanging out in the living room.

Is that…? Oh no!

Apollo 2015/09/21(Mon)14:17 No. 671398 ID: defceb
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It’s BabeimusMaximus the Magnificiently Malicious. The coolest and scariest monster to ever scare. If I knew I would be running into them tonight I would have prettied myself up before heading out.

Don't give it away that you're trying to escape. Just make your way over to the sink and slip down the drain...

so then it's probably safe to say that nobody actually lives here and all the local monsters are showing up to party. Might as well keep looking and see who else is here then so you don't come across anyone else you respect and completely make a fool of yourself in front of them.

Also what do monsters usually do during a monster party?

Greet your idol in a proper monster way. It's rude to pretend to not see someone.

If that fails, be as awkward as monsterly possible.

Wait, if all the othet monsters are here, doesn't that mean their territories are wide open, with people ripe for the scaring?

1. Move over to the stove and turn it on (there may me nobs to turn).
2. Grab something flammable, like a couch, and place it over the fire.
3. Wait for the fire to spread.
4. ???
5. Profit

Put on some Brontosaurus Chorus and escape while people are rushing to change the music. There's no point in staying here if there's no one to scare. You could also go on early vacation.

Apollo 2015/09/25(Fri)00:07 No. 672539 ID: defceb
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>Wait, if all the othet monsters are here, doesn't that mean their territories are wide open, with people ripe for the scaring?

That’s… true! So many places are wide open RIGHT NOW! But first, monster formalities. Can’t let anymonster catch on to my plot.

>Greet your idol in a proper monster way. It's rude to pretend to not see someone.
I slink under the chair and we exchange a greetings of snarls, shouting, and other nasty noises. This is going well! I think.

“Yo,” They say in such an unbelievably cool fashion. Uhg, can’t handle it. I’m feeling weak in all twelve knees.

TELL THEM YOU THINK THEY ARE COOL

do monsters even have genders?

The response can only be, "'Sup."

Okay, breathe. It's time to channel your fanboyism.

Tell your idol that you are a great fan of his/her/its work. Ask if there's a trick to being as badass as him/her/itself or if it's something you're born with.

>>672539
Ask if you can comb their eyelashes. Their sexy sparkly eyelashes.

Apollo 2015/09/27(Sun)22:42 No. 673325 ID: defceb
File 144341896673.png - (33.53KB , 671x306 , m12.png )

Okay. Stay chill. Stay cool. Stay cool.

"OH MY MONSTERGOD I THINK YOU ARE SO COOL!"

Apollo 2015/09/27(Sun)22:43 No. 673326 ID: defceb
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"No, wait, come back I meant to say-"

Darn it. Now I'll never be cool. What was that other plan, again?

slither out the house and scare all the vacated haunts.

>>673330
Yeah, you have the perfect cover now. They'll think you're leaving in shame, not to steal their scaring grounds.

>>673326
Ditch the place and go on holiday. Or steal spooking grounds.

BURN DOWN THE HOUSE! This will spook the other monsters, making you the alpha monster.

>>673400
But we don't have any lemons!

Go to the basement of the house.

Apollo 2015/10/03(Sat)13:21 No. 674650 ID: defceb
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Yeah, fuck it. Let's light this place up and split. Maybe I'll take that holiday once we're done here, too.

I slink over to the kitchen and hide under one of the pots. A quick rummage through the shelves nets me a box of matches. Now how am I going to burn down the house?

if it's a gas stove just open the stove and turn the gas on full blast then head to a room next to this one, drill a hole in the wall or just crack a door if you don't think anyone will shut it and light a candle next to the opening and get the hell out before the gas finds the flame.

Light the carpeting on fire.

Spook your way to the garage, find the spare gas can for the mower. Douse the kitchen, turn on the stove, light it up!

Is there a gas stove? (Hopefully it's not electric). Turn the knobs enough to start letting gas out, but not enough to let the clicker light it.

Then retreat. We'll wait for the gas to spread and throw a lit match back through the door or something. Or maybe light a fuse going back to the house, if we find something to use as one.

Aren't you a monster? Just breathe fire everywhere.

Run around the house doing a fire dance. It's like a rain dance, except performed backwards and chanting, 'Burn! Burn! Burn!"

Apollo 2015/10/04(Sun)01:45 No. 674738 ID: defceb
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>>674698
Oh yeah!

I let loose with my flame sacks, vomiting fire all over the kitchen! And the living room! And the other monsters! They scream and run around in circles. They're so surprised and scared! I do a fire dance for good measure as the house begins to burn down around us.

"Burn! Burn! Burn!" I shout whilst shaking my hips in an a rhythmic tribal dance. All the other monsters leap out every window, door, and weak portion of wall they can to run away.

Overcome with adrenaline, I burst out from my hiding place and soar up through the roof of the crumbling home. This feels great! I should have been burning things from the start!

Well, that was fun. Now find a place to hide before the military arrives.

>Maybe go on vacation to a tropical island sometime?
I think it is a good time to attempt this goal, now that the house issue is dealt with.

Zoom off to the airport and hide in the landing gear or something.

Kidnap a monster princess and marry her in a Vegas chapel.

>>674738
YOU'RE A DRAGON? WELL OF COURSE YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN BURNING THINGS!

This is the problem with hiding under stuff all the time, nobody sees what you actually look like.

good show, now it's time to escape before something or someone gains enough of there bearings to try and strike back.

>>674738
You can fly? Why have you been skulking under things like a grubby land based monster.

Hopefully none of the other monsters are fireproof.

You want to scare a lot of people? Go start the next California wildfire.

Apollo 2015/10/04(Sun)12:39 No. 674796 ID: defceb
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>YOU’RE A DRAGON!?

I’m a monster! I do monster things like hiding under beds and making spooky scares! Now I’ll do the most monster-ly thing and go on vacation, leaving everyone else to deal with my mess! Haha!

>You want to scare a lot of people? Go start the next California wildfire.

I take a detour to California on my way to Hawaii. I’m sure the drought will break any day now, right? Good luck with the fire!

Now I’m free! Free to chase the vacation I’ve always wanted!

Apollo 2015/10/04(Sun)12:39 No. 674797 ID: defceb
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Vacations taken: 1/1
Monsters Scared: Like all of them / a lot
Firemen Sortied: Pretty much all of SoCal / That many
Illuminati Plots Exposed: 0/3

Thank you for playing!

>>674796
> starts Californian wildfire
Why would you DO-
> in SoCal
-never mind, I don't care.

10/10, would Apollo again.

>>674797

Hold it! Freeze frame! I've had it with these undiscovered Illuminati Plots, so I'm going to arbitrarily make suppositions in order to discover them!

Plot one: The monster house party WAS a trap, set by the Illuminati, so they could field test their new monster android model. In order to make the model more life-like, they programmed you with monster-like behavior patterns and beliefs.

This explains everything! How you weren't invited to the party everyone was invited to, despite being the first to arrive, how you were so ready to scare someone who wasn't even there, as well as how the other monsters hardly seem to know of or care for you!

Plot two: Your desire to go to a tropical island is supremely suspect! Nothing is as antithetical to monsters as sunlight, even an android monster! In other words, the Illuminati built you with planned obsolescence in mind! Therefore it is vitally important that you use lots of sunscreen!

Plot three, the Illuminati set those forest fires themselves for... reasons, and just used your planned rampage as cover!

That was objectively the best quest.