To Thespian Serpens 2017/12/07(Thu)18:19 No. 118596 ID: c88e6d
File 151269954737.png - (493.04KB , 2307x1399 , TGChan Thespian Secret Santa Titian Edition.png )

The key arrives in a plain envelope with an address: "To Thespian, from Melora, and a Merry Christmas to you!"

The address is a single rented apartment in a rundown apartment block, and opening the door reveals-

"Surprise! I don't really own much, but I heard you like pets! Don't worry, I sent nineteen others in case you're not fond of this body."

Credit to the Renaissance painter Titian for his painting 'Venus of Urbino' inspiring this picture. And apologies for the last second re-upload and edit!

I must ask, when is the proper time to start sending gifts? This is my first time doing something like this and I am not sure what i the code of conduct

>>118607
Any time between the start of this thread and some time toward the end of the month.

>>118608
Oh ok

Absurdity masked man 2017/12/08(Fri)16:09 No. 118612 ID: 042dc0
File 151277815523.jpg - (1.58MB , 2480x3540 , Beautiful butterfly 155.jpg )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbUeK1PP7-s

Christmass Shennanigans! Azathoth 2017/12/12(Tue)08:38 No. 118729 ID: 008b25
File 151309669786.jpg - (226.89KB , 606x1261 , 1 001.jpg )

As officer McDowd walks towards his cruiser one winters eve, he is unaware that he is about to receive the one gift a grizzled policeman yearns for.

Lil: Ahem
McDowd: What the Fuck!

A PLUCKY AND ENERGETIC SIDEKICK READY FOR WHACKY ADVENTURE!

YOUR GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN!

Space Invaders 2017/12/12(Tue)11:40 No. 118737 ID: 129f2e
File 151310765590.png - (52.68KB , 1600x1200 , 1.png )

Chhrrchrbbh rrhrchb NEM hhrchcbbchr!!!~ <3

Hrrhrcchbb bbbhhcrh chrhh bbhr bhrr...

Hhrrhch bbhbhhrrchc chrrh!!!~ <3

Chhrrhchchnn chrrrhnhh...

Space Invaders 2017/12/12(Tue)11:41 No. 118738 ID: 129f2e
File 151310766321.png - (49.82KB , 1600x1200 , 2.png )

CHRHRHRHR!!! ~ <3 ~

BRBRBRBR ~~ <3 <3 CHCHCRRRHR!!! ~ ~ ~

!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 ~ RHRHCHRH!!!

<3 <3 ~~~ CHRHRCHR ~ ~ ~ CHRRRRR <3 !!!!

Space Invaders 2017/12/12(Tue)11:41 No. 118739 ID: 129f2e
File 151310766954.png - (50.43KB , 1600x1200 , 3.png )

Chrrhrbrrh, chhrrhbhr bhrhrbhr...

<3 <3

Bhrhrchh chrhrhch~~

Space Invaders 2017/12/12(Tue)11:41 No. 118740 ID: 129f2e
File 151310767531.png - (67.01KB , 1600x1200 , 4.png )

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

GHrlrhgkkk~ fffkkghgnnllrhgkn- kkrhrkgknn~~ <3 <3 <3

Chrr!! <3 ~ Chrr Brhchhrnn!! <3 <3

Anonymous 2017/12/12(Tue)13:37 No. 118748 ID: 7579d8
File 151311465222.png - (319.48KB , 800x600 , 7 is that it2.png )

Tamri: A necklace?

Gengkwaku: Yeah. The pendant is a picture of Nashkaam, god of smoke and protector of the dead not in the cycle of reincarnation. It's for a dead princess who's on some sort of journey. I figure with this, he should watch over her in her travels.

Tamri: But isn't she huge?

Gengkwaku: Wha- Ah! T-then I'll... I'll just say it's a bracelet! So, what are you giving?

Anonymous 2017/12/12(Tue)13:37 No. 118749 ID: 7579d8
File 151311467582.png - (250.77KB , 800x600 , 8 pet.png )

Tamri: I found this in a tree!

Gangkwaku: You're giving something you just found? Why not make them some new masks or something else with some thought behind it?

Tamri: But it's cute.

Gengkwaku: Alright, I'll give you that.

Anonymous 2017/12/12(Tue)13:38 No. 118750 ID: 7579d8
File 151311469977.png - (249.26KB , 800x600 , 9 Tasty-looking hand you got there2.png )

Death Frowg: SCREEEEEEEE!

Gengkwaku: AAAH!

Anonymous 2017/12/12(Tue)13:38 No. 118751 ID: 7579d8
File 151311472638.png - (178.64KB , 800x600 , 10 the gifts.png )

To Liik'il hat'uts kuxa'an kan baak of Princess Quest goes the CHARM BRACELET. Totally not a necklace.


To the Victors from Rock, with no fingers to worry about, goes the cute little FROWG.
>Relevant info on this critter https://warosu.org/tg/thread/19084937#p19134080

>>118740
Uh, who is the receiver of that present? If that is a present in the first place

>>118752
Nem from Nem's Quest is the lucky recipient. They chittered out her name at the beginning but I can see how that may have been mistaken for alien nonsense.

>>118758
Oh OK

NotDog 2017/12/12(Tue)19:31 No. 118770 ID: 8fb444
File 151313588538.png - (827.07KB , 1266x674 , santa1.png )

DECEMBER 25TH, HALLOWEEN NIGHT

RENDAMEL: Boy, what a crazy Christmas adventure! It was tough, but we managed to cover for Santa and deliver presents to every little boy and girl in the world. And now there's only one last gift to give.

KON: How'd I end up naked, again?

REN: And now there's only one last gift to give. Who's last on the list, Kon?

KON: Says... Dedrin. Some kind of Demon, it looks like.

NotDog 2017/12/12(Tue)19:33 No. 118771 ID: 8fb444
File 151313598209.png - (80.79KB , 956x369 , santa2.png )

>>118770

REN: Demon, huh? Let's just ask our Demon friend!

KON: Looks like he got locked into time stasis when our quest stopped updating.

REN: That's TERRIBLE! We have to go and save him... Eventually, at some point.

KON: Let's just give this Dedrin some of our stacks of fat loot.

NotDog 2017/12/12(Tue)19:34 No. 118772 ID: 8fb444
File 151313608083.png - (164.75KB , 956x369 , santa3.png )

>>118771

KON: Well, we've got gold, magical blades, magical armour, cursed blades and armour, some ancient tomes, hm... What would a demon be into? Maybe we could give him a fire staff.

REN: I found it! The perfect gift for a Demon!

NotDog 2017/12/12(Tue)19:36 No. 118773 ID: 8fb444
File 151313620789.png - (201.10KB , 956x604 , santa4.png )

>>118772

REN: MY 1ST NECRONOMICON! A Demon could do all sorta stuff with this kind of knowledge that was not meant to be known! He'll be real excited when he looks under his tree, uh... This... Morning. Oops. Well, better late than never.

KON: Boy, that sure is a big gift tag.

REN: It's hard to write in crayon, okay?

youllfloattooyoullfloattooyoullfloattoo Azathoth 2017/12/13(Wed)03:55 No. 118787 ID: 008b25
File 151316611481.jpg - (213.39KB , 573x1509 , 4 001.jpg )

WHAT A THOUGHTFUL GIFT, LITTLE THING YOU SURPRISE ME.

I SHALL ENSURE SHE RECEIVES IT AT A.. APPROPRIATE TIME.

HMM? HOW DID I GET HERE? OH LITTLE THING YOU SHOULD KNOW.

HOPES AND DREAMS MAY SAVE THE WORLDS, BUT IT IS NIGHTMARE THAT BINDS THEM TOGETHER.

SLEEP TIGHT.

https://youtu.be/IzWsLaolyLw

Smik 2017/12/14(Thu)13:22 No. 118831 ID: 2474dd
File 151328656269.jpg - (85.17KB , 640x720 , NemSecretSanta_Give.jpg )

Nem's Secret Santa recipients are three Martians with zero backstory and who are "equally worthless". She is thrilled at the challenge of trying to figure out an appropriate gift for them.

Smik 2017/12/14(Thu)13:26 No. 118832 ID: 2474dd
File 151328678047.jpg - (186.36KB , 640x720 , NemSecretSanta_Give2.jpg )

Nem selects a case of blue fae hemp. These special herbs are ideal for spiritual ceremony. They can be ingested or vaporized and inhaled, allowing the body to touch the spirit better with the help of a qualified spiritual leader.

It is advised to have snacks on hand; such spiritual journeys can often leave the body famished.

Smik 2017/12/14(Thu)13:29 No. 118833 ID: 2474dd
File 151328698543.jpg - (152.47KB , 640x720 , NemSecretSanta_Give3.jpg )

Nem also selects a case of faerie mushrooms. A variation of the psilocybin mushroom. Besides being generally non-addictive, the mushrooms once ingested can lead one to a higher plane of awareness and understanding. Again, please use only with the guidance of a spiritual leader.

What a thoughtful gift! Surely these Martians will obtain a higher understanding of the meaning of Christmas and not pawn them off as exotic narcotics from another reality or squander them on getting really, really, REALLY high.

Or God forbid give them to a Phase Bear.

Smik 2017/12/14(Thu)13:31 No. 118834 ID: 2474dd
File 151328711883.jpg - (85.51KB , 640x720 , NemSecretSanta_Give4.jpg )

...

Smik 2017/12/14(Thu)21:23 No. 118852 ID: 2474dd
File 151331540918.jpg - (111.13KB , 640x720 , NemSecretSanta_Receive.jpg )

>>118740

Nem has received her Secret Santa gift.

Nem: So it seems to be some sort of detonator and an unstable mutagen of some sort. I'm not quite sure if they intended me to use it in my work or if they were trying some sort of terrorist attack.

Smik 2017/12/14(Thu)21:26 No. 118853 ID: 2474dd
File 151331558424.jpg - (113.79KB , 640x720 , NemSecretSanta_Receive2.jpg )

Nem sets down the detonator and examines the code of the mutagen.

Nem: Regardless... I think I remember that I'll make good use for this in another place.

>>118853
(Crossover Nem's memory has also gone sideways)

Indonesian Gentleman 2017/12/16(Sat)01:32 No. 118915 ID: 334b91
File 151341677722.png - (133.62KB , 500x500 , Officer McDowd's gift.png )

"Hey there Clem, working the holiday shift?" McDowd hails the elderly aardvark.
"McDowd! Rare to see you shopping for gifts, what's the occasion?"
"I kinda got roped into some secret Santa shenanigans, believe it or not. So I thought I'd drop by before my patrol starts."
"So what'chu got there, son?"
"A pair of fireproof mittens. How'd you get these in stock, anyways?"
"Those'll cost ya twenty bucks. And I have no idea."
"Well, the design is ironic, don't you think? Happy holidays, Clem."
"Word of advice, McDowd - don't be surprised if you see death on the streets tonight!"
"Yeah, holiday season usually shows an uptick in crime."
"I don't mean that, son!"
"...oookay..."

Smik 2017/12/16(Sat)10:14 No. 118919 ID: 2474dd
File 151344807443.jpg - (102.59KB , 640x720 , Sami_SecretSantaGive1.jpg )

>he doesn't have a name and he can't talk. People just call him the Lost soul.

Sami: So my Secret Santa receiver is a poor creature called "The Lost Soul". Fortunately this is right up my alley.

Amy: I wanna get right up your alley.

Sami smirks.

Sami: I can't guide him home like I could some other lost souls -- but I think I have an idea.

Amy: I also have an idea.

Smik 2017/12/16(Sat)11:14 No. 118922 ID: 2474dd
File 151345165813.jpg - (149.13KB , 640x720 , Sami_SecretSantaGive2.jpg )

Sami has obtained a COMPASS OF DESIRE from the Department of Change's JUDGEMENT sub-division. Primarily given to lost souls both living and dead who need a little help finding their way but without the hand-holding.

She had every intention of having it ready to go along with Nem's gifts through the CROSSOVER DELIVERY SERVICE, but then Amy happened.

Nem: Would you two GET A ROOM? That's not supposed to be an OFFICE? Or AT LEAST CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR!?

Amy: S-s-sorry Nem, I f-f-forgot!

Nem: NO YOU DIDN'T!

Amy laughs a trembling sort of laugh.

Amy: B-b-BUSTED!

Amy has discovered she has an exhibitionist fetish. She restricts indulging it except around her friends who won't report her to HR -- namely, Nem.

>>118758
If you're watching Nobody, your gift is now canon with Spooky Date Quest.

https://tgchan.org/kusaba/quest/res/836521.html#852400

Well, sort of. Nem modified it to her advantage.

>>118922
I have a question, when it is alright to receive your present

>>118953
As soon as you know what it is, you can depict your character receiving it.

>>118954
Oh ok

BokkunTheDrawperson 2017/12/19(Tue)19:32 No. 118984 ID: e681e3
File 151374072404.png - (167.64KB , 1500x1500 , Christmas 2017 - 1.png )

Gina "Hey, Logan, think you can help me with my Secret Santa thing?"

Logan (Signing words) "Sure. What do you need?"

Gina "The only thing my card says is "[default]: Nanomachines". So I was hoping you could make some of those smallbots for me."

Logan "If you're looking for something like that, I already have some you could gift."

Gina "What? Since when?"

Logan "Remember last spring, when Mr. Cortez and I went out of town for the weekend? I cashed in some favors, and asked for the tech I needed to make nanomachines of my own."

Gina "Nice. What do they do?"

Logan "Not too much. If you pour them into an enclosed space, they'll move all the dirt and dust into a small pile. I've been using them to clean my room. A gallon of the things leaves this place nice and tidy in just an hour."

Gina "Perfect! Can I get, like, a quart of those for my giftee?"

Logan "No problem! However..."

BokkunTheDrawperson 2017/12/19(Tue)19:33 No. 118985 ID: e681e3
File 151374079736.png - (212.44KB , 1500x1500 , Christmas 2017 - 2.png )

>>118984

Logan "The materials needed to make a gallon of these things costed twelve favors. I'll trade you a quart of these nanomachines for three favors from Mr. Cortez."

Gina "Ugh... I just cashed in all of mine recently for that electric keyboard."

Logan "You can pay me back later. I'll knock it down to two favors, if you can convince Mrs. Cortez to whip up some sugar cookies. later. Deal?"

Logan fills a large test tube with what looks like a green fluid. He corks it, and holds it out towards me.

Gina "You've got a deal."

We exchange a handshake, as I take the container from his hand.

Logan "P-Pleasure doing b-b-business with you."

I'll mail this tube after dinner. First, I should talk to mom about those sugar cookies...

>>118985
>>118984
It's kind of sweet to watch these 2 interact in simpler times.

Arhra 2017/12/20(Wed)20:48 No. 119011 ID: b9d7cf
File 151383168635.png - (33.03KB , 900x600 , nanogoos_secret_santa.png )

[default]: "OK I thiIink I have settled on a pREsent."

Shopkeep: "Is it nanomachines?"

[default]: "You didn't ev-v-ven ask who I got for the Secret SAaanta!"

Shopkeep: "It's nanomachines isn't it?"

[default]: "MaaAAaaaybe. I got Anita, you see."

Shopkeep: "Isn't she some sort of pervert witch?"

[default]: "Nonono, you see she is a w-WItch with magic underpants. Magic underpants which are regularly ssStolen by others for nefarious purposes. And because she doesn't HAve any spare ones, she is forced to run ARound experiencing a draft - in a short skirt - until she can mug someone a-aand steal their magic underPAnts. Which come in a variety of STYles and powers. It i-is the product of necessity, not perversion!"

Shopkeep: "So wait does she give the other ones back after she rescues her pants?"

[default]: "I'm not suRe. AnnnnywAy, I made her panties. Out of nanomachines! They're self cleaning, automatically adjust for best fit, you can push alerts to tHEm from your phone and they have a security feature where if stolen they go into auto-attack moOode and convert the thief into their weight in panties."

Shopkeep: "Harsh. Maybe too harsh."

[default]: "What if I put in an OPTion where it j-Just eats their clothes?"

Shopkeep: "Perfect!"

-----------------------

To: Anita

Enjoy your present. It's the way of the future!

Please ensure you read the manual before use.

From: [Your Secret Santa]

PS: I have a question. What do you do with the panties you acquire on your quest to recover your own ones?

Absurdity masked man 2017/12/21(Thu)07:17 No. 119017 ID: 39a6ad
File 151386942732.jpg - (1.10MB , 1748x2480 , Beautiful butterfly 161.jpg )

>>118922

For my giftees, don't worry! I haven't ditched any of you. I'm almost done with my presents :) The reason I haven't submitted them yet was because they all read together like a Christmas tale of sorts. But they will come out before Christmas!

>>119023
After all you did last year, I'm looking forward this.

[1/9] Sarcopholacooda 2017/12/22(Fri)09:21 No. 119041 ID: ecae1b
File 151396331896.png - (327.69KB , 700x450 , CYB01.png )

It was a starry, planety night above Thepiotephi’s moon.
A great event in Port Echo was about to happen soon!
So great, in fact, which happens to define—
—three other off-worldly holidays which they’ll also align!

“Isn’t this exciting, guys?” says Cybil to her friends,
“It’ll be another 14 billion years before this happens again!”
“The Arthocobs have Bhothogoshol’s Day, the Chupas: the Great Irrigation.”
“And it’ll be the 23rd anniversary of the Gortians complete isolation…!”

…
“from the rest of the galaxy…”
“…still dealing with civil war issues…”

[2/9] Sarcopholacooda 2017/12/22(Fri)09:22 No. 119042 ID: ecae1b
File 151396335823.png - (268.46KB , 700x450 , CYB02.png )

“But to keep our minds occupied with joy and… Fanta.”
“I’ve entered you all in another round of Secret Santa!”
Eudora huffed, groaned, grumbled, and kind of a heave.
“But last year I was given some off-putting bird figurine.”

“Well I can’t go back to my planet,” Cybil said aloud to anyone.
“But improvising a souvenir is what makes it really fun!”
“My giftee is Essence. As for a gift to deposit—”
“I’m sure I can spice up one of my failed inventions from the closet.”

[3/9] Sarcopholacooda 2017/12/22(Fri)09:23 No. 119043 ID: ecae1b
File 151396339671.png - (223.11KB , 700x450 , CYB03.png )

And so the Gortian rummages through drones, whizzaps, discs, and suspenders,
prismns, gridgets, spokets, bolts, scrups and hoo-henders.
“Ah! I’ve found just the thing!” she says happy and gay,
“An electric calendar of every conceivable galactic holiday!”

“With a calendar like this, there’s a reason to party all year!”
Said Cybil as she wrapped her gift in the merriest of holiday cheer.
“The machine will start scanning once you punch in a date,”
“And out comes a special holiday worth wanting to celebrate!”

[4/9] Sarcopholacooda 2017/12/22(Fri)09:24 No. 119044 ID: ecae1b
File 151396344603.png - (365.87KB , 700x450 , VIC01.png )

“Vikta, you’re home!” his siblings cry in conglomeration.
His mother follows, “And just in time for the Great Irrigation!”
“Your father awaits you in his private bath.”
“So make yourself at home! Strip down and follow the path!”

The spas and pools were packed with aliens all around.
Where Vzierians, Corbons, Relicynths, and Atchings can be found.
Victor was always a bit anxious to speak with his father.
Hoping his request for a perfect gift wouldn’t be a bother.

[5/9] Sarcopholacooda 2017/12/22(Fri)09:24 No. 119045 ID: ecae1b
File 151396347842.png - (295.61KB , 700x450 , VIC02.png )

“Dad?” chimed Victor, slowly entering a room of steam.
“Ah, Vikta. I expected you.” speaks Dama, stoic he may seem.
And Victor says, “I’m wondering what would be a good gift to buy.”
“The giftee’s a skut named Melora; a dog-ish creature with six eyes!”

“Hmm, yes, that’s quite a conundrum. But don’t put your mind in a twirl,”
“If it makes new customers you’ll win a discount here for your referral.”
“Take my Patented Portable Sauna™; it can fill any room in a hot minute.”
“I promise her guaranteed relaxation when she basks in it.”

[6/9] Sarcopholacooda 2017/12/22(Fri)09:25 No. 119046 ID: ecae1b
File 151396351335.png - (329.28KB , 700x450 , VIC03.png )

“Wow, thanks!” appreciated Victor, “I don’t know what to say!”
“Your father has you covered, Vikta,” says Dama, “Now you’d best be on your way.”
“We wish you a merry time with your superhero friends.”
“The Great Irrigation is upon us; so be sure to thoroughly cleanse.”

And so the Chupa leaves with his gift, “Sorry guys, I’ve gotta run!”
“But I promise to be back in time to join in on the fun!”
“Goodbye mother Yamelle, bye Sashi, Deemus, Charu, and Numax!”
And the hairless mutt hopped on the shuttle, forgetting to wear his slacks.

[7/9] Sarcopholacooda 2017/12/22(Fri)09:25 No. 119047 ID: ecae1b
File 151396355079.png - (204.39KB , 700x450 , EUD01.png )

“Eudora, you’re home!” the acolyte welcomes, “Oh, how pleasant!”
“Only briefly, Ganymede,” says the Scarab, “I’m here for another present.”
“It’s for someone named Sarah Hanchett, a weird, featureless thing on skinny legs.”
“And this time I brought no amber to make Ichothortu Eggs.”

Ganymede nods, “Why not an Iquaug Husk that infests the church’s garden?”
“Once an Iquaug hatches and leaves, the shell begins to harden.”
“They can be used as trophies, headdresses, armor, or a doorstop.”
“Ah yes, a gift like this you won’t find in a Bhothogoshol shop!”

[8/9] Sarcopholacooda 2017/12/22(Fri)09:26 No. 119048 ID: ecae1b
File 151396358010.png - (248.36KB , 700x450 , EUD02.png )

“Those damn things suck the life out of our sacred trees and blooms!”
“Because they’re holy and endangered, we can’t remove them in their cocoons.”
“Even more annoying they take roughly 10 years to mature.”
“But there’s bound to be an empty husk up there, to be sure!”

How far she would climb for one, Eudora couldn’t tell.
Yet with haste she reached the top to find an unoccupied shell.
Iquaug casts were admired for their hypnotizing emerald sheen.
Such a rare jewel would make any Arthocob feel like a queen!

[9/9] Sarcopholacooda 2017/12/22(Fri)09:28 No. 119049 ID: ecae1b
File 151396368719.png - (235.13KB , 700x450 , EUD03.png )

“Well that was easier than I thought,” she said with the acolyte in tow.
After a brief silence, she cuts off, “Welp, looks like I’m good to go.”
“S-so just like that?” he moped, “Y-you’re not going to stay?”
“I was hoping—you know, we could c-catch up on things… perhaps see a movie, or pray.”

“I mean, Bhothogoshol’s Day is soon, and we could watch the parades!”
“—no”
“M-maybe decorate that husk together, or play a nice game of charades…”
“—nah…”
“Or watch the boxing match of Isthot versus Golathathoth?!”
“Well—“
“If not, maybe visit the zoo to see the Ralligoraugh Moth?”
“ugh…”
“Shacha-oteg zhogh hab-zoraat both ashatho thosc kek!”
“—s’dhaquacama…”
’… … .. .. ….’
’… . .’

Merry Bhothogoshol's Day, Have a Great Irrigation, and good luck lifting the Isolation Pact!

Smik 2017/12/22(Fri)12:54 No. 119051 ID: 2474dd
File 151397604657.jpg - (134.30KB , 640x720 , Sami_SecretSantaReceive.jpg )

Amy: I think it likes you.

Sami: It kinda tickles in a nice way. It's really light.

Amy: Well it seems at least partially ethereal.

Sami: And it's in a very exclusive club. You're the only other person I let sit on my head.

Amy smirks.

Victors 2017/12/22(Fri)15:49 No. 119054 ID: 129f2e
File 151398656737.png - (123.25KB , 1600x1200 , Victors1.png )

[[We have received our secret santa present. Thank you very much. He is a very cute "cute frowg". It is very much appreciated.]]

[[However we now are obligated to send a present out of our own. To a Miss Eudora 'The Scarab' Lharnaaguoth.]]

[[This poses some problems for us.]]

Victors 2017/12/22(Fri)15:49 No. 119055 ID: 129f2e
File 151398657584.png - (96.02KB , 1600x1200 , Victors2.png )

[[Although we would be delighted to present a present to a fellow sapient insect-]]

[[We are not insects. We are from another phylum entirely.]]

[[I understand that. I am trying to find commonality of experience to create a more intimate relationship with our gift reciever.]]

[[My apologies, please continue.]]

[[While we would be enthralled to provide something befitting a lovely, exoskeleton-ed Arthocob such as Miss Eudora, the place in which we find ourselves stuck is severely lacking for resources.]]

[[We have plentiful food, however it is our understanding that this edible mold is considered unsatisfactory in terms of taste.]]

Victors 2017/12/22(Fri)15:49 No. 119056 ID: 129f2e
File 151398658517.png - (112.76KB , 1600x1200 , Victors3.png )

[[What few other resources we have access to, do not belong to us, but rather, to a Mr. Bolo and Mrs. Valentine. They have collected what little is, ah, "imported" to the rock, to create a settlement of sorts.]]

[[Our own belongings amount to only the masks we use as faces. These we cannot trade as we require them for identification among others.]]

[[Especially as one of us has already managed to lose his mask. Having two without would cause significant confusion.]]

[[In summary, all of this is only to say that we must unfortunately, respectfully withdraw from this 'Secret Santa' for lack of anything to-]]

Victors 2017/12/22(Fri)15:49 No. 119057 ID: 129f2e
File 151398659217.png - (121.88KB , 1600x1200 , Victors4.png )

[[Oh no! Help me, the cute frowg has bitten me!]]

[[Oh no.]]

[[What do we do?]]

[[Please, this pain is significant!]]

[[Auuuahhghn!!]]

Victors 2017/12/22(Fri)15:49 No. 119058 ID: 129f2e
File 151398659841.png - (91.76KB , 1600x1200 , Victors5.png )

[[Oh no!]]

[[Oh no.]]

[[Oh no.]]

Victors 2017/12/22(Fri)15:50 No. 119059 ID: 129f2e
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[[Please. Help. Help! Please, help, now!]]

[[We would like to, but we do not know how-]]

[[Hello.]]

[[Hello.]]

[[Hello.]]

[[Oh please, the pain is very significant!]]

Victors 2017/12/22(Fri)15:50 No. 119060 ID: 129f2e
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Your very own mini-Victor!


*Your new best friend: a giant talking worm!
*Play all your favourite worm games!
*Feed him dirt, watch him grow!
*Can funnel magic if he's on his homeworld!
*Can't do shit if he's not!
*He can still see through things!
*He's still telekinetic! He moves stuff with his mind!
*He's still telepathic! He reads your mind with his mind!
*He's pretty weak!
*Confuse your friends who are also named Victor!

>>118944
I was away for awhile, but I'm watching now. That's pretty cool, actually.

Melora 1/3 Serpens 2017/12/22(Fri)17:12 No. 119064 ID: c88e6d
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>>119045
A gift! So warm... so restful! I feel utterly relaxed and overjoyed... How can I possibly give gratitude for something so nice? I can't just give another group of bodies as slaves, they seem like they already have enough people as is!

Melora 2/3 Serpens 2017/12/22(Fri)17:14 No. 119065 ID: c88e6d
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Of course.... I shall use the technology in this steam generating device to advice my kind to a starfaring civilization! I will first build ships to enter the void, then cross the reaches of space and time passed by the Omniclaus! In time, the STARS THEMSELVES WILL BE WRAPPED IN CHAINS, BENT TO THE WILL OF MELORA!

Melora 3/3 Serpens 2017/12/22(Fri)19:53 No. 119072 ID: c88e6d
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And then, ruling a vast empire crossing all existence, I will finally be able to find a gift as thoughtful and kind as this one! Until I do, I'll send a thank-you card instead.

BokkunTheDrawperson 2017/12/22(Fri)22:53 No. 119082 ID: e681e3
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>>118915


Gina "Check it out! My entire outfit is fireproof. The shirt, pants, jacket, shoes, and now the mittens. I can light myself up with zero consequences!" To demonstrate my point, I ignite my entire body. There's an initial feeling of body heat being sucked away, before the warm flames envelop me. Ann and Logan crowd in closer for warmth. After about ten seconds of enjoying the heat, I extinguish myself.

Ann "They look really nice! I love that red too. It really goes well with your hair."

Gina "Why, thank you."

Ann "I guess this puts a definitive end to the mitten bets though. That's a shame. It was starting to become a tradition."

Gina "Oh boo-fucking-hoo! I go through crates of mittens every year, and you two jerks make a game of guessing how many I'll smoke. The mitten bets ending is the best fucking part of this gift!"

Logan, the traitor, lets out a comically large sigh. Ann offers a half-hearted shrug. Sometimes I really hate these people I greatly cherish.

Ann "Well, I guess you win this year, Logan. I'll get change at the concessions stand, and pay you before the movie starts."

Logan "We d-d-doubled it to f-forty this year."

Ann "Yeah, yeah... Thanks for the reminder." Ann grumbles that last line.

Gina "Come on guys, step up your pace! We're getting front row seats for this flick."

Ann "What? No way! The front seats are awful. We should sit in the back."

Gina "Nope! If I'm letting you and Logan drag me to anime trash, then I'm at least picking our seats."

Ann "You wanted to see this movie too! Don't act like your taste is any better!"

Afraid Christmas activities are bearing down on me fast. I will get my other Secret Santa done but it may be a little late.

>>119092
I'm willing to wait.

Azathoth 2017/12/23(Sat)06:01 No. 119096 ID: 008b25
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((( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXsWm9KTsfw )))

The dynamic duo have a.. eventful night..

Azathoth 2017/12/23(Sat)06:08 No. 119097 ID: 008b25
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After several hours, arrests and a brief encounter with the national guard later we find our hero's relaxing on a park bench.

Lil: Whew, that was a lot of fun!

McDowd: yeah it certainly was.. something..

Lil: Well, I think a nice way to round of the evening is to give you your Real Gift.

McDowd: What do you FUCK!

You jerk awake, the feeling of those teeth digging into your neck fresh in your mind.
You sit up and hesitantly feel for wounds, relaxing somewhat when you find nothing.

"Jesus.. I really need to stop eating so late.."

Worlds within Worlds.
We are, all of us, words on a page long written down, and now you have been given a chance to change what was written so long ago.
The venom of the True dragons flows in your veins, Anathema to destiny and incarnation of change, freedom, choice and anarchy.

When the shackles of your destiny bite the hardest the venom will wake, in that moment you will be totally free to do as you wish, for good or for ill.
How that moment will manifest and when I know not, but I advise you to take care.

Freedom comes with.. consequences.

>>119092
Yeah, kinda in the same situation since a freelance work dropped in suddenly. Currently drawing my second secret santa surprise.

Indonesian Gentleman 2017/12/23(Sat)08:44 No. 119101 ID: 7647e0
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In an alternate timeline of an alternate universe of a fictional setting, where James Baxter didn't jam the USB drive willy-nilly...

"Holy moly! This thing has HOW MUCH storage capacity?!"
"Around 1 Yottabit, McDowd. Thankfully I've managed to deactivate all the safeguards and countermeasures. What are you planning?"
Baxter has reason to worry, McDowd had that mischievous look in his eyes.
"Lemme borrow your Morpheotron first. It's got blazing-fast copy speed, right?"
"...yeah?"

AN HOUR LATER

"Did you just... copy the entire internet's worth of porn sims into that thing? Really?"
"Yeah, I just did."
"I knew you were depraved, but not to this extent! I mean, the things you put there... are you gonna be jacking it while jacking in?"
"Nah, it's more of a gift for this girl I met online. Claimed she's never had a body in her life."
"You sure it's not a scam?"
"Why'd you think I'm gonna give her this much simulated porn for? If it's true, she'll gonna feel all the things she's supposedly missed. If it's not, well, good luck deleting several metric shitton of porn!"



"...Is that a pineapple AND a yo-yo?!"

Indonesian Gentleman 2017/12/23(Sat)08:46 No. 119102 ID: 7647e0
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>>118596
McDowd sits down beside the bed, and thinks to himself,
"I'd like to fuck that Skut."

Absurdity masked man 2017/12/23(Sat)10:01 No. 119103 ID: 39a6ad
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>>119043
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQfLtI2mb9Q

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2017/12/23(Sat)17:11 No. 119110 ID: b5fb67
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Tamri: "Hey neat!"

Tamri: "So... what is it?"

Sarah: "It's an eBook reader. You can put like... a billion books in it so you can read whatever you want wherever you want."

Tamri: "What's a book?"

Sarah: "Uh..."

Tamri: "Can I eat it?"

Sarah: "...I may not have thought this all the way through."

>>119045
Heavy heat and steam will cause a lot of damage to any room that has porous and/or organic building materials, you know. Stripping paint, stimulating mold growth, etc...

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2017/12/24(Sun)16:37 No. 119134 ID: b5fb67
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Victor: "Uh... what is this?"

Anita: "It's a Monkey's Foot!"

Victor: "Is that like a Monkey's Paw? Isn't that a bad thing?"

Anita: "Normally, yes! But when you wish on a Monkey's Foot, you get a diminished wish plus a slightly inconvenient curse."

Victor: "So like... what if I were to wish for a brand new car?"

Anita: "You would probably get a functional AMC Gremlin, but the curse would be you'd have to flip the air filter over or else the car would start smoking."

Victor: "What if I were to wish for world peace?"

Anita: "Had a cousin try that. Turns out, only a small town receives peace, but the curse is that it constantly smells like onions!"

>>119092
The OMNICLAUS has taken note and will happily give you an extension.

I'm happy to report that while I've made my list and have only yet checked it once, as far as I know we're only missing one Secret Santa gift (plus one extension). There's still time to finish up your gifts -- the Omniclaus doesn't launch into action until the 26th. Merry Christmas everyone!

NotDog 2017/12/25(Mon)14:39 No. 119145 ID: 8fe3eb
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RENDAMEL sits, freezing and alone in a desolate, present-less wasteland. Without the essential holiday cheer a Kobold needs to survive, she will soon inevitably perish.

>>119145

D:

Smik 2017/12/25(Mon)22:36 No. 119151 ID: 2474dd
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>>119145

Omniclaus: RENDAMEL!!

Rendamel looks up to see the sky swirl unnaturally, thick with the spiraling cosmic beard of the OMNICLAUS.

Omniclaus: Are you sulking in Spike's back yard?

Rendamel: No! I'm clearly freezing and alone in a desolate, present-less wasteland!

Omniclaus: It's Spike & Kitty's back yard.

Rendamel: But...

Omniclaus: It's just like Beach Day.

Rendamel: But...

Omniclaus: I know you are a good kobold and have given out your gift but have not yet received one in return. FEAR NOT! THE OMNICLAUS IS HERE. Stop being dramatic.

Smik 2017/12/25(Mon)22:45 No. 119153 ID: 2474dd
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Omniclaus: I have traveled across multiple worlds, beyond time and space, and I have brought you a gift of Christmas Cheer.

Rendamel: What is it?

Omniclaus: It is a GUIDING SPIRIT COMPASS from the DEPARTMENT OF CHANGE, JUDGEMENT DIVISION. I have taken the liberty of binding it with a GPS. The COMPASS will show you the way to find what you seek! The GPS will show you where you currently are! I feel this should help you actually arrive at Beach Day on time next year.

Rendamel: It says I'm currently in Spike & Kitty's back yard.

Omniclaus: Look, if you're hard up for holiday cheer, I'm pretty sure if you know on the back door, Spike and Kitty will invite you in, especially since they seem to have a soft spot for you. The disadvantage being their interpretation of "Holiday Cheer". It probably involves eggnog spiked with random potions. Look, if you want I'll also give you a lift if you'd rather be somewhere else. You honestly could do better.

Arhra 2018/01/01(Mon)05:23 No. 119251 ID: dab122
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The time has come for the celebration of a winter solstice. Such celebrations are typified by singing carols, the consumption of copious amounts of food and the exchange of gifts.

Information Management Organism Unit-02 has been entered into a lottery system known as 'Secret Santa' whereby all entrants purchase one gift for a randomised entrant and receive one gift in turn. This is a method that imposes time and resource constraints on what would otherwise be unregulated gifting, preventing a possible consumerist singularity. IMO Unit-02 approves.

Borgas IV is the fourth planet in the Borgas system. It is a planet with high coverage by liquid water possessing a double moon system. The biosphere is characterised by extensive possession of poisonous or venomous traits and the existence of several types. Anomalous technological artefacts apparently left behind by an advanced civilisation are also found there.

This is where her giftee lives.

Gengkwaku is a juvenile Puruu, a diminutive species that lives in primitive tribes in the jungles of Borgas IV. Named for Kwaku, first warchief of the Yapa, unifier of the jungle tribes. His tribe has been wiped out. He and his sibling are in the care of a single adult of his tribe, one who is only present due to having been stabbed in the face and losing consciousness during the attack.

You do not need to be a biological super computer to recognise the best gift to comfort a child in this position.

A gun.

This type of outside-context device gives the best opportunity for survival and success in life.

The modifications to allow a small species to easily operate the weapon were simple engineering problems. An experimental unlimited charge beam functionality is included: beam can be continuously charged before firing to increase shot power. Primitive adaptation includes a micro-fusion reactor that will produce power for one thousand years or until containment breach, whichever comes first.

Tracking target. Message capsule launched.

-----------------

To: Puruu child Gengkwaku

This gift is a weapon. Point away from self.

From: Your Secret Santa

NO TRIP 2018/02/04(Sun)23:41 No. 120319 ID: 2edf5e
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>>119110

Gengkwaku: What's that thing?

Tamri: I dunno. But it makes silly pictures!

Gengkwaku: Really? Can I see?

Tamri: Yeah.

Gengkwaku crouches down next to his brother.

Gengkwaku: Whoa, cool. What is this red blinky thing in the corner?

Tamri: I dunno. It just started doing that.