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11580 No. 11580 ID: 094652

After getting banned from various threads for being a dick by trying to make random, nonsensical suggestions that were inadvertently insulting others with prejudice or worse because I didn't understand how wrong or abusive it was, I've decided to try something interesting so I don't get banned from TGCHAN altogether:

I'm going to try putting every random spur-of-the-moment suggestion I have into this thread (in spoiler tags) instead of on regular quests where it may offend others, and try to eventually make a decent quest out of it.

DO NOT READ THIS THREAD IF YOU DO NOT TOLERATE ANYTHING THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE IN PUBLIC SOCIETY EVER
Expand all images
>>
No. 11581 ID: 094652

Grow a pac-man head and go "Yak Yak Yak" while twirling around in place while the star-spangled dubstep is playing in the foreground.
>>
No. 11582 ID: 094652

"Sometimes, I wonder if my mind is going soft and chewy and predictable, and that the rest of the old people will gnaw on my fake mask of happyness with glee as I suffer in my unoriginality."

... I should find better words.

>>
No. 11583 ID: 094652

So much to think, so much fear that even here it is wrong. But I want to speak my mind. In here I don't have to play nice so others around me feel nice that they can pretend I am nice. Why are there limits absolutely everywhere?

To any mods who read this: if you want me to stop, just say so.

>>
No. 11584 ID: 094652

"Thanks, I like your tits."
>>
No. 11585 ID: 094652

You know, some people have neural-imaged emotional responses with brute-force radiological imaging and found that people with specific personalities - like lack of empathy - seem to have a lack of certain components of their brain. The parts are there, but they're shriveled and don't see much neural activity.

So what does that say about forms of intelligence (critical thinking, decision making) against creativity (art, free-form thought)? Is it possible that someone with a high intelligence stat will have a low creativity maximum, or do they synergize well, or does it depend on the person? Probably the latter.

Should I get myself tested? Or is the technology killing?

>>
No. 11586 ID: 094652

Once upon a time, there was a cricket named Joe. Joe lived a decent life in the forests, but somehow that wasn't enough. There was something wrong with his life. Maybe it was because he was unloved. Maybe it was the upcoming winter weather. Maybe it was because he was a sentient bug.

Yeah it was totally the last one.

Then one day, Joe found a house. Somehow he knew it would mean shelter, and food, and lots of nice lady crickets. Joe entered and did a little cricket dance. Chirp Chirp Chirp.

>>
No. 11587 ID: 094652

The human of the house woke to the chirping of a very noisy cricket. She got up and brought her flyswatter with her. Joe managed to dodge the brunt of the swat in time, but was forced out of the house.

Joe thought as no mere cricket ever thought before. By definition. As mere crickets are not sentient and therefore do not think at the level as Joe does, or they would be classified as intellectuals on the level of Joe.

Myes.

Joe decided that he needed to be quiet, and so he went back in and stayed quiet for another ten hours.

But Joe was a cricket with a very bad short-term memory, and he made a little cricket noise while looking for a hole in the cupboard.

The human swatted him a few times and batted him out of the house.

>>
No. 11588 ID: 094652

In the morning, the human brought a batch of cookies to eat. Joe kept himself steady before munching into a huge thorax full of cookie crumbs, ready to eat more. The human screamed, and threw the cricket out once more, before putting the cookie the cricket ate in the trash. Joe was confused for a moment. Why would the human throw away a good cookie? Joe reasoned that it should only eat the crumbs and uneaten cookies and not make a mess anymore.

The human was startled at the sound of an accidental chirp, and saw the cricket eating a piece of crumb that had fallen into the carpet where it would surely have lain dormant if not for Joe's timely arrival.

Joe chirped an apology more and was thrown out without his crumb, which was then promptly disposed.

>>
No. 11591 ID: 094652

>Why do you play video games
Why does anyone do anything

>>
No. 11592 ID: 094652

Let go and live
Does giving up on an impossible dream mean you're an adult and can get everything you've ever wanted except actual satisfaction

>>
No. 11593 ID: 094652

Am I a bully?
I remember being bullied by people I could never remember the faces of. They just knew I would never tell on them - all they had to do was be faster than me.

I got faster. But now there's nobody to chase.

Seriously though, nobody ever tells me the weird things that normal humans do, like facial recognition and eye-waggling for depth perception.

>>
No. 11594 ID: 094652

It's too late
It's too late
It's too late
Literally

I don't want my greatest skill to be pretending and lying
mostly because I suck at it
but I'm constantly being told it is my key to true happiness

>>
No. 11598 ID: ab52c1

Are you OK, kome?
>>
No. 11600 ID: 094652

Thanks. I'm trying to vent my frustration here instead of the main quest board. I treat TGChan as a place to roleplay as myself, where making mistakes and jokes doesn't result in permanent consequences. I was angry because they still did; the fact that, like real life, I was rewarded for my ban with personal growth made it worse. I don't want to be constantly reminded of how I only seem to learn something forever by being punished with something permanent.

Sahara does a little jig, but grows forlorn at the lack of magical artifacts in the loot.

>>
No. 11601 ID: ea36cf

>>11600
Don't take it the wrong way, but not everyone realizes you're playing around.
There is a time and place for stuff, and some people take their quests as personal projects, and as such, takes the suggestions with high regard.
As such, not everyone enjoys your brand of Komeā„¢ Suggestions that are irrelevant or over the top.

Still, you can treat this as a life experience, in where you can't exactly say as you want and not expect some kind of reaction in turn.
I'm sure if you want to commit serious suggestions, you'd be allowed back into some quests.

Or you can continue being the same, I guess.
>>
No. 11603 ID: 094652

"Mission Complete... Bloss."
"Bloss?"
"It's French for... gibberish."

>>
No. 11605 ID: 094652

Fish la la la la Fish
>>
No. 11606 ID: 094652

Your titan is a flurry
>>
No. 11607 ID: 094652

...Sun caw
>>
No. 11608 ID: 094652

"It is the ninteenth of september and I take the square from the calendar. I need not worry about the structural damge, for it is one square and I have three hundred and sixyu five more. I take the square and place it on the altar made of cobwebns and pold posters. I closemy eyes underneath my sewn eyelids. I sing the songs of a dead people and breathe the ashes of a living one. I am awake. And I am coming for you.
>>
No. 11609 ID: 094652

when was the last time someone put a phone-sized video recorder module on a gun? Why do most armies refuse to do that as standard practice?
>>
No. 11610 ID: 094652

in a fit of dementia
>>
No. 11611 ID: 094652

Yuppie Bum is a 21st-century miser who lives in a cardboard house with necessities hand-delivered to him online.

You know, I wonder if you could make a buck by designing sturdy cardboard one-time use homes for the poor and selling them for 50 cents apiece.

I mean, they make cardboard hardware toys now.

>>
No. 11612 ID: 094652

What if we made a CAI individual that was compulsed to do quick maths all the time, like say 1+1=2 while walking on the street, and another CAI individual that was compulsed to calculate pseudorandom functions while walking on the street, and they make a digital baby
>>
No. 11613 ID: 094652

"Rescue? Uh-what? What - oh @#$%, is the CAI shrapped? How do I fix two hundred pounds of smoldering metal? Oh god oh god oh god *hyperventilating* uh Clarification mister Vanski?!"
>>
No. 11614 ID: 2007b6

>>11609
Keeping the lens clean under combat conditions is a maintenance burden, and even when working perfectly, it would generate an enormous amount of data, most of which would be of very little value. Where will that data be stored? Who will sort through it?
>>
No. 11617 ID: 094652

Angry angry anglers
>>
No. 11618 ID: 094652

Bow wowwowowow
I have stared into the cyberabyss for over three years. I have tainted my mind with the sludge of humanity. I have compared every diamond to this one morsel of mirth and found them inadequate, and now is the time, at long last, for an Overload.

PurpleCrumbs

>>
No. 11619 ID: 094652

Why is everything in 3D now?
>>
No. 11620 ID: 094652

I'm planning on doing the thing that is the thing
>>
No. 11621 ID: 094652

Censored for your penis
>>
No. 11622 ID: 094652

Brainsmile you're on game boy horror
>>
No. 11623 ID: 094652

There's nothing quite like stomping the familial pride out of a man. You can break a person in the most ethical way possible. Not that breaking a man is an act of virtue.
>>
No. 11625 ID: 094652

"It's okay, Azarthraine. I fap to the other Fire Hawks also."
>>
No. 11628 ID: 094652

polymorph sponge tits and pour milk into them to squeeeeez
>>
No. 11629 ID: 094652

crunchy sugar crunchy salt cold cold colt
>>
No. 11630 ID: 9876c4
File 154006534851.jpg - (116.61KB , 590x680 , Compote.jpg )
11630

>>11629
I have approximately no idea what I'm doing.
>>
No. 11632 ID: 094652

The versatility of the soda can double-bend is outweighed by the combustible effects of its chemical sealant
>>
No. 11633 ID: 094652

Weaponized healing magic fixes all the brain damage, causing enemies to take a long look at what they've done and develop PTSD. Also, healing ears to newborn condition means they're no longer resistant to explosions.
>>
No. 11634 ID: 094652

Slow and Steady wins the race.
Is he slow? Yep.
Is he steady? Not so much.

>>
No. 11637 ID: 094652

Ever dream up an expansion pack for a story that was already cancelled?
>>
No. 11638 ID: 094652

Taxi Cab Driver With A Shotgun
And no I have never watched that movie

>>
No. 11639 ID: 094652

You know, regular magic has been dead in our world for over 500 years. Maybe it never existed here in the first place. That hasn't stopped the churches from prosecuting would-be mages so their assets are conveniently available.
>>
No. 11641 ID: 094652

imagine a merchant princess had sex with a king... along with five thousand random schmucks. Now the king needs to legitimize the daughter that popped out,
>>
No. 11642 ID: 094652

I forgot to take my fiet pill. For butt fires.
>>
No. 11643 ID: 094652

"That was one of my sisters, and by sister I mean my cultist father's mad science breeding spawn. Basically, my father is a sick little man in a crowd that worships his debauchery, and he breeds women, both zealots and slaves (guess which one my mother was), so he can use his own children as test subjects and les enfantes terribles in the service of an eldritch god. So I would very much appreciate it if we all STOP FIGHTING EACH OTHER FOR SOME STUPID SALTED TERRITORY AND POINT OUR GUNS AT THE CRAZY PEOPLE!"
>>
No. 11644 ID: becba8

They banned you? Why? Your comments are frequently better than most quests.
>>
No. 11647 ID: 094652

Soft Jazz music in the background make it stop
>>
No. 11648 ID: 2007b6

https://tgchan.org/kusaba/quest/res/912160.html#914044
Home row, kome. If you're gonna suggest something other than walking, you gotta say what it actually is or nobody will understand.
>>
No. 11649 ID: 094652

@#$% means fuck, ^&*( means shit. I decided I wanted to censor my swearing so that people know when I type my curses out with actual letters and no censoring I mean it.
>>
No. 11652 ID: 094652

The real panties they earned were each others' after dark.
>>
No. 11655 ID: 134cbb

Maybe she's a failed Rokoa clone soldier prototype attempt by simply raising the babies with the same sadistic torture used by Rokoa's mom. That would explain why she's been doped and slated for a neural overwrite by Rokoa tissue.
>>
No. 11681 ID: 094652

"Were you doing the hokey pokey?"
Wait a few seconds then literally do the hokey pokey dance

>>
No. 11682 ID: 094652

Why did my autocorrect suggest Kusarigama was spelled Madrigal?

Actually I think I can make a joke quest out of that. You know those old cartoons where a wizard asks for a spear and gets a pear? Well... that but add faulty autocorrect. Whoops, 'corrector'.

>>
No. 11683 ID: 094652



... Some universes would demand he should become your giant Schwanzstucker.

Would you like to schedule a reality modification so in five years he does become your giant throbbing Shwanzstucker?

>>
No. 11693 ID: 094652

Threaten to perform a mastectomy with your gun if she doesn't play nice.
>>
No. 11697 ID: 094652

See, this is why all the 'lesser' races hate your guts, you keep bashing in their social expectations with a +3 Warhammer of Eldritch Mold-Breaking. You're basically a physical, blabbering avatar of the actual incompetence and madness of their own gods.

They don't like being shown their rulers are insane. Now the poor Kells needs an OS reboot.

>>
No. 11699 ID: 094652

First rule of First Contact: tribal cultures meeting technologically advanced cultures will either (A) think you're supernatural, like gods and demons and other easily capitalizable stuff, or (B) get reeeal paranoid at how utterly insane you have become from cuddling your guns at night and that look in your eyes when they stare at their babies while there is a mystical four-pronged hand-held spear and a ceremonial salt shaker.

Presenting your scout as a rootin' tootin' axe-crazy outlaw who shows how horrible technology can be in the hands of the homicidally stupid, followed by a legion of disciplined, polite, and intellectually savvy colonists and diplomats who quickly "deal with" the scout, apologize, and then attempt to uplift the region, brings a major balance; first show what happens when the natives get ideas of simply stealing the technology from a tourist and playing with it (hint:BOOM), give them a general idea of the worst among your kind so they don't overexaggerate out of regular paranoia, and then smooth it over with an army that uses their powers wisely, deals with psychopaths abusing this stuff, and gives them a contrast between crazy outlaws and law-abiding colonists.

>>
No. 11701 ID: d43602
File 155103705717.png - (889.82KB , 3200x3200 , ThumbsUpKome.png )
11701

Kome, fwiw, you're always welcome on my threads. Your suggestions brighten my day.
>>
No. 11704 ID: 891b91

Echoing Deer's sentiments. I enjoy your suggestions, Kome, and you're always welcome in my quests.
>>
No. 11705 ID: 7e06cf

I do enjoy your suggestions, since it's something Emils can do too, so it gives me insight on suggestions with no concept of right or wrong.
>>
No. 11711 ID: 8436be

Fourth'ed, Kome. Keep on keeping on. I'll always be happy to see your suggestions in my quests.
>>
No. 11720 ID: c05150

Bunny bunny bunny puppy puppy bunny puppy puppy bunny bunny bunny bunny bunnybunnybunybbybybybyybybybyybybyby

Can you guess what my faaavorite pet izz?

>>
No. 11723 ID: f46e5e

Thanks for your first suggestion. Took me a minute to even realize what you were talking about; I would have loved to do it but, it would have required entirely restructuring what little 'story' I have cooked up.
As for the second, well-- Stick knows too much to be tripped up by that.
>>
No. 11724 ID: f46e5e

your favorite pet is probably a chinchilla obviously.
>>
No. 11726 ID: 094652

... Okay fine, Jesus Christ The Third ([[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEGo41443iI You heretic]]! Literally. You're a demon from hell.)
>>
No. 11727 ID: f46e5e

I am thinking of making a better thought out quest starting from >>/quest/926179 and am requesting your thoughts on the idea.
Let me know if you don't want these messages here and I'll delete them. I haven't figured out how to connect to the IRC and don't even know if you are active there
>>
No. 11728 ID: 080aaf

>>11727
https://kiwiirc.com/client/irc.rizon.net/#tgchan
He's not, but if you wanted to visit anyway just follow this and give yourself a name.


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