I'll start. I am God, all-powerful, omnipotent.
Good game.
>>7862 you are not very good at deep thinking
>>7860 I am an atheist. Disbelieving, questioning.
I am a dick, atheist fucking, throbbing.
>>7865 I am agnosticism. Mediator, impartial.
>>7866 I am the scissors, pain-inducing, I-don't-think-I-need-to-describe-the-rest.
>>7869 I am rust, part-clogging, machinery-stopping.
>>7872 I am RustEze, available now for 9 easy payments of $99.95!
>>7860 I am the Renamon, who plays the Oldest game.
>>7876 I am bankruptcy, capitalism-failing, pocket-emptying.
>>7890 I am the lottery, an unbelievably unlikely twist of fate that propels the game forwards.
>>7893 I am probability, chance-clearing, lottery-doubting.
>>7900 I am Statistics, laying true patterns bare
I am the DERP, HURKA DERKA DOO
>>7902 I am 12, what is this
>>7913 I am 18. All that a 12 year old wants to be.
>>7914 I am a bartender. No you cannot have mah booze.
>>7928 I am 21. All younger wish they were older. All older wish they were younger.
>>7929 I am age, never ending, omnipresent.
>>7932 I am death, the end of all things living.
>>8019 I am knowledge, passed down through time, unchanging.
I am dementia, the decay of the mind.
I am a straight jacket, I keep crazy and/or forgetful people from doing stupid things
>>8023 I am Eugenics, insane/disabled/handicapped people killing, straight jacket eliminating.
I am a masochist, I like pain and people who hurt/kill me
>>8030 I am a narcotic, sapping away pain and destroying sensation.
I am paradox, true, false
>>8256 I am logic, paradox-unraveling.
I am love, completely illogical
>>8258 I am insanity, i refute your logic
>>8272 I am hate, love-destroyer.
I am indifference, I don't give a shit
>>8321 I am fanaticism, I retaliate against things that aren't even attacks.
>>8366 I am pacifism, i shan't raise a finger against you.
>>8369 I am unwarranted aggression, I kill you anyway.
>>8371 I am prescription drugs, I eliminate unwarranted aggression.
>>8377 I am paranoia, I make prescription drugs seem like government mind-control serums.
>>7866 You sure are a dick.
I am rationality; I make people understand what is really there.
I am a 4channer, i rant and rave.
I am Moot. I close the pool and wield the banhammer.
I am sleep. I cause even the mighty to fall down.
>>8546 I am insomnia, depriver of rest and weakener of senses.
I am a caffeine high, giver of energy, bringer of hyper awareness.
>>8712 I am caffeine crash. Bringer of headaches, depression, and listlessness.
>>8736 I am /tg/chan, bringing amusement, joy, and fapping to the weary and downtrodden. Also maybe an excedrin or two.
>>9172 I am server downtime, deleting posts and delaying quests.
>>9173 I am a roleplaying game. I need no internet or electricity, only dice and paper.
>>9189 I am a mentally adolescent powergamer, game-destroying and throwing dice when I don't get my way.
I am a bitchslap, I teach shitheads a lesson.
I am a lawsuit. I get shitheads your money when they should be getting taught.
>>9242 I am chaotic evil, laughing at your silly lawsuits and stabbing the lawyer.
>>9246 I am the police, aprehending the murderer, locking up the criminal.
>>9248 I am John Rambo, custody escaping, wilderness living. (Also I didn't draw first blood damnit, they did)
>>9250 I am reality, soul-crushing and movie-character dispelling.
>>9261 I am mind altering drugs, duuuuuuuuude.
>>9264 But those don't dispell reality, they just avoid it a while.
I am existential doubt, reality questioning, refuting purpose
>>9265 HESITATION YOU LOSE AND YOUR HEART IS MINE
>>9266 I am philosophy teacher, teaching existentialism and sending unruly students to detention.
>>9975 I am the parental board, constantly complaining, blood pressure rising.
>>10037 I am the union strike, wage-raising, unfairness-ending.
>>10043 I am the strikebreaker, kneecap breaking, scab-hiring.
>>10066 I am the media, martyr-making, little people-sympathizing.
>>10571 I am money, objection-silencing, bribery-enabling.
>>10664 I am pure-heartedness, evil-defeating, bribery-rejecting.
I am corruption, secretly-rotting, self-serving.
>>11201 I am the God-Emperor, divine, incorruptible. (Or you you disagree, HERETIC?)
>>11213 I am truth; corpse-unveiling, worship-destroying.
>>11217 I am ignorance, truth-ignoring, falsehood-upholding.
>>11294 I'm a dragon: Fuck You.
>>11318 I'm an anteater, piss off.
>>11324 I am a Shark, suck my dick.
>>11329 I'm a female shark. Okay!
I AM RIP AND TEAR, YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS
>>11733 I am time, the end of berserker packs.
>>11740 I am chainsaw, the great communicator.
I am radioactive. That can't be good.
>>11889 I am the children, and the children's children. Think of us.
>>11905 I am an abortion. You weren't really alive anyway.
>>11964 I am an atropal. Stillborn, but not yet dead.
>>11965 I am the priest. I'll turn your ass.
I am house rules, the spy sappin your priest.
>>12001 Mrrrpgh mrrph mrrphmrrph, mrrrrrph mrrph mrrrrph!
>>12074 I am the admin, banning you for abuse.
>>12085 I am the userbase, exodus.
>>12087 I am the addiction, pulling the users back despite ragequits and wallhacks.
>>12089 I am the girlfriend, the promise of sex is enough to prevent psychosomatic addiction.
>>12434 I am menstruation, stopping sex for those that aren't Mudy.
I am male sex-toy, never suffering from monthly ills, ever-ready.
>>12450 I am the dead battry, vibration stopping, female-hysteria sustaining.
>>12460 A sex-toy for males, not for females.
>>12468 FINE. I'm the moldy fungus, secretion-eating, toy-ruining.
I am man, I eat fungus for dinner and use toys on my prey.
>>19977 I am the soil, to which all men return.
>>20598 I am a tree, earth piercing, nutrient draining.
I am, like, a giant dick just, massive like 20 feet or something
>>20627 I am a massive orgasm, dick shrinking, tiring
I am the elemental plane of sex, blood-pumping, energy supplying
>>20629 I am a succubus, energy sapping, man fucking
I am a MAN, throbbing with infinite power, dispensing a million dickings
>>20632 I am a WOMAN, controlling how many dickings are dispensed around here, man controlling
>>20637 I am a menstrual cycle, vagina bleeding, gut cramping.
>>20642 I am a tissue. Absorbant, useful.
>>20664 I am mucus, nose dripping, tissue soaking.
>>20671 I am fire, burning, cleansing.
>>21235 I am water, Soothing Cleansing.
>>21235 I am urine, extinguishing, nasty-smelling.
>>21237 >>21238 I am Depends, humiliation avoiding, urine/water absorbing.
>>21240 I am Loose Bowels, soiling and smelling beyond your capacity.
>>21251 I am a nursing home orderly, feces ignoring, old person abusing
>>21291 I am the Burglar, drugs-stealing, orderly-power-depriving.
>>21293 I am the police, crime-solving, burglar arresting
>>21296 I am the Gun. Police Killing, Crime Causing.
>>21296 I am the Lawyer, Justice-foiling, alibi-enacting.
>>21297 >>21298 I am Morality, violence halting, truth telling
>>21363 I am Desensitization, conscience silencing, violence enjoying.
>>21386 I am Photography, forcing the truth into the eyes, confronting the heart with its lies.
>>21402 I am Photoshop, truth distorting, faith destroying.
>>21403 I am EXPERIENCED SA FORUMGOER, Pixel-noting, having-seen-many-in-my-timeing.
>>21407 I am a banhammer. account ending, pathetic life destroying
>>21409 I am the Well of Trolls, endlessly spewing forth filth upon the internet, proxy-abusing.
>>21411 I am Clogged Tubes, internet freezing, logic defying.
>>21419 I am Beer, evening-annihilating, entertainment-providing.
>>21423 I am dry law, alcohol-outlawing, hated.
>>21696 I am a Rum-Runner. Law Dodging, Alcohol Smuggling.
I am spontaneous combustion. Alcohol-destroying, Rum-Runner-frying.
I am this huge elephant who is all hairy and has pimples and I think it peed a little bit
>>21704 I am a dorf. Elephant killing. Wall engraving.
>>21705 >Elephant killing AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I am sadness. Laughter reducing. Boner killing.
>>21708 I am Quest Threads. Happiness Bringing, inappropriately Arrousing.
>>21709 I am Reaver, Quest canceling, incest loving
>>21714 I am Romme, showing mischievous quests back to their path.
>>21716 Game over! you win!
Good game, you guys. I think this thread was a huge success. It took us 132 posts, but we made it through. Congrats!
>>21716 I am a loss of interest, quest-killing, tgchan enraging.
>>21749 I am random events, interest-inspiring, story-changing.
I am Anonymous. ...I win.
>>56690 I am a tripfag, Anonymous enraging, identity creating.
>>56716 I am a stalker. Identity-following, secrecy-inducing.
>>56727 I am a Russian guy in a poncho. GET OUT OF HERE, STALKER!
>>56690 apologies, my sense of humor sucks.
I am light. Secrecy-exposer. Comfort-creater.
>>13083 I am anti-discrimination laws, and I say you are a racist
>>13085 I am fuck-giver, and I'm not giving any.
>>13112 I am a badger. I don't care.
>>13112 >>13181 Care Bear Stare. Yes you do.
>>13192 I am Britain, perpetually overcast and packed with chavs, incapable of sustaining rainbows or friendship.
>>13193 I am America, one of the few countries to fight Britain and win.
I am 911. nuff said
>>13201 After 9/11, the terrorists got their asses handed to them and haven't scored a single blow against the US. I win.
I am the Internet, turning everything into a retarded political argument.
>>13203 [illogical argument characteristic of internet debating]
>>13203 i am /quest/, time to return to a blissful beginning
>>13512 I am the anon thread, endlessly bitching.
>>13513 I am Dylan, anonthread-kittenizing, mostly-procrastinating.
>>13514 I am DATABASEEEEEEEEEES
>>13515 I am the Identity Documents Bill 2010-11, database-shredding, card-invalidating.
>>13521 I have no idea what that even is.
>>13530 I am KNOWLEDGE, informing you of what that is!
>>13538 I am the internet, ignoring knowledge in the favor of ignorance. oh god here we go again
>>13541 I am the government, the internet i giveth and i also taketh away
>>13565 I am a libertarian, government fearing, socialized communication decrying.
>>13577 I am a dictatorship, "LIBERTY!? What's that?"
>>13578 I am a guy arguing politics on the Internet. Terminology-misdefining, incomprehensibly stupid argument-forming.
>>13579 I'm the IRS, we find guys like you tend to have child pornography on their computers
>>13580 >Inland Revenue Service >Investigating child abuse ...what? (Also, there's a pattern to this game, damnit.)
>>13580 I am child pornography, I am on the IRS agent's hard drive. (Also, what the fuck? IRS is taxes, they don't give a fuck about illegal porn. And people who argue on the internet are not more likely to be pedophiles. I think you just lost.)
>>13582 I am Chris Hanson TV personality Your worst nightmare
>>13582 (i most likely did, why if that ain't a ticker)
>>13583 I am NBC, ratings watching, show replacing.
>>13626 I am USA. Every show you have, I have a better one.
>>13778 I am AMC, I'm basically the Western Movie Channel that will also play Action movie classics, do you feel lucky punk?
>>13779 I am Amish, Never heard of you.
I am rumspringa, contact with outer world.
>>13781 I am a sexual predator. Unsupervised teens are easy targets for me.
>>13782 I'm Chris Hansen, again. Won't you have a seat, again.
>>13785 I'm the Oldest Game. Read the rules again.
I am noob, what's this about rules?
>>13788 I am tgchan, always winning at The Oldest Game. (oh shit meta)
>>13795 i am a suggester, i control what you do.
>>13796 I was kind of referring to the suggesters with my post,
I am quest I give meaning to suggestor, strength to tgchan
I am plot, challenging the suggestor, driving the quest.
>>14342 I am a troll, accusing the GM of railroading at the first signs of a coherent plot.
>>14345 I am a reasonable player, dethroning the troll and moving the quest forward despite that.
>>14347 I am the other ten guys that want T&A and won't shut up about it.
>>14365 Also romance subplots.
>>14365 I am the ugly-ass protagonist, quelling all such desires.
>>14367 I think you just lost. That would never actually stop the suggestions.
>>14365 I am the GM, ignoring all the people asking for tits and/or romance.
>>14371 Low readership here. The other three requests involve "Read the note", "Grab X, use as hat", and "Do X in a more hardboiled manner".
>>14373 I am Tiak, suspect-antagonising, note-reading in an increasingly hardboiled fashion as the quest progresses.
>>14373 Your point being?
I am the de-railer, Talking about crap that doesn't have to with the oldest game
>>14377 I am a hacker that The Register fears. Your computer just exploded. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2000/07/04/hackers_can_make_your_pc/
>>14378 I am a Luddite, your exploding-computer shenanigans have no effect on me.
>>14398 I am a transhumanist. Technology-increasing, biology-defying.
>>14405 I am the machine, replacing humanity, obviating the biologics.
>>14406 >>14405 I am the Singularity, the end result of the two of you.
I'm the goddamn batman.
>>14409 I am the sudden shock, the unforeseeable situation, the unknown element, throwing all plans into chaos.
>>14410 I am TVtropes. Saw it coming a mile away, lampshades hung.
>>14411 I am xkcd, warning others against the evils of TVtropes
>>14412 I am artistic burnout, exhausting good ideas and slumping in quality back into the pigswill of the Internet.
>>14420 I am the five-minute comics, I reverse artistic burnout (at least, for the time being).
>>14429 I am the artist's block, the unexplainable lack of ability and desire to create.
>>14437 I am inspiration. Empowering and... stuff.
>>14497 I am the realization that your "new idea" is just source amnesia or so blindingly obvious that it's been done before. Motivation-sapping, shitty-knock-off-impression-giving.
>>14498 I am quality, compensating for a lack of originality.
>>14499 I am quantity, making quality useless
>>14501 I am genocide. Removing quantity from society. That's how to play, right? You try to say something that, er, counteracts the previous statement?
I am the straggling remainder, the stubborn remnants that will not go quietly into death.
>>14510 Ed Pastry loses his hands in a tragic ice-skating lion accident. No more The Icon for you.
>>14523 I am Cirr, who is immune to such accidents by virtue of being a (perfect, immortal) machine
>>14526 Fate/Irony here. Calling yourself perfect and immortal tempts me to prove you wrong in the most embarassing way.
>>14530 I am common sense. Put the magnets in the right way, dumbass.
>>14580 I am the uncommon thinker, devising new and unusual things with the common tools.
>>14584 I am the Church, killing you for your heresy
>>14622 I am the enlightened, casting aside your dogma for purest knowledge.
>>14624 I am Unit 731,unfettered enlightenment sure is fun.
>>14625 No idea what that is.
I am Confusion, I have no idea what that is.
>>14627 I am Xom, god of chaos, sower of confusion.
>>14628 I am cold hard facts: no, you aren't a god, you don't exist, and you're lame as hell.
>>14629 I am doubt, creeping in unwanted, prompting you to curse your fate and rail at the universe for working against you as if it were a sentient thing.
>>14630 Idiotic fanatic here. Blessed is the mind too small for doubt.
I am complexity, the small of mind can each only comprehend a small part of me. As such all interpretations will be different.
>>14640 Destructive Might. Last one standing is right.
Not even the mightiest weapon can halt the Grindstone of Entrophy.
>>14647 I am a dictionary, here to tell you that "entrophy" is not a word.
>>14648 I am an outhouse. You are an easily scavenged source of paper. Do the math.
>>14651 I am toilet paper. Need I say more
>>14652 I am inevitable decay, reducing paper to fodder for the small life that consumes all waste.
>>14659 Twinkies McDonald's food A tin can The freezer Decay is NOT inevitable
>>14671 No, but nuclear fusion in close proximity makes the point moot. I CHOOSE YOU, DROPPING STUFF INTO THE SUN!
I am iron, fuzing me provides no energy to the star.
>>14678 I am oxygen, rusting yer iron, making it useless in many applications.
>>14680 I am fire, consuming oxygen.
>>14681 I'm Ninetales. Fire HEALS me, bitch.
>>14735 F.E.A.R. Rattata here. Your level and fire immunity matters not.
>>14680 >>14681 >>14735 >>14737 I am the great vacuum of space. Your fire and oxygen matter not.
>>14752 Spiral Power here. You won't be empty for long.
>>14753 I am inevitability, your unwavering expansion shall eventually lead to your ultimate destruction.
>>14755 I am determination. FUCK YOUR SHIT WE CAN DO THE IMPOSSIBLE, BREAK THE UNBREKABLE.
>>14756 I am entropy. Heat death, muthafucka.
>>14758 I am order, bringing meaning from chaos and entropy. (I'll be honest, this was hard)
>>14761 (Yeah, sorry I already used spiral power.) Corruption here, enriching the self at the expense of the system, making order break down.
>>14762 I am the beneficial mutation, turning corruption into a foundation.
>>14786 I'm society. You're weird! Burn the strange one!
>>14908 I am law. No, you won't.
>>14921 I am crime. Fuck the the law.
>>14940 I am prison. Please bend over.
I am the peaceful escape within, unworried about your abuse.
>>14964 Prison rapists again. No matter where you go, we will find you.
>>14965 Y Hlo thar.
>>14983 >implying prison rape is vaginal >implying a woman is involved at all
Sounds like the game's over. Prison rapists win.
I am the camp gay, I secretly enjoy it.
>>15010 (that's a double win on both sides... not something that cancels the former) I am an armed prison guard. Just TRY to rape me
>>15012 I am the government. I own your ass.
I am the Corporate CEO. I own YOUR ass. IN AMERICA.
>>15222 I am communism. No.
>>15232 I am basic human nature, ultimately destroying your utopia every time.
>>15263 I am necessity, pushing past nature for survival as well as something greater.
>>15266 I am vanity, misleading, nihilistic, I deny destiny for debauchery.
I am self awareness, leading away from foolish debauched unconsidered action towards a more stable sense of value.
>>15282 I am ignorance, I know nothing of value and less of myself.
>>15283 I am Enlightenment. I shall replace you with understanding!
>>15288 I am pornography, early desire which distracts from enlightenment
>>15305 I am impotence. Pornography no longer affects you.
I am Viagra. Killer of erectile dysfunction.
I am the 6 hour erection, the sign to call a doctor.
>>15311 Problem solved.
I am, like, a catfish or some shit. I totally eat the crap out of leeches.
I am a fisssssshhhhhherman. Catfish are delicious.
I am the cannibal, fishermen are delicious!
>>15322 I am Kuru, I rot and destroy the cannibal's brain, while he giggles the whole way.
I am the cannibal who doesn't eat brain or spinal tissue. I don't get prion diseases.
>>15325 I am the company funded, religiously sanctioned, technologically superior invasion by western imperialists, prepare thee for the beat-down and inevitable 'civilization'...savage.
I am the terrifying, unsuspected truth, the truth that destroys your ethnocentric view of the world and shatters all that you once knew and held dear.
>>15331 I'm a xenophobic law, shutting all foreign influence from the culture and shrinking world views.
I am democracy, my citizens challenge unjust laws and replace them with equality.
>>15345 I am the republic, taking democracy away from my citizen without them realizing.
>>15346 I am the revolution, the smasher of old elites.
>>15364 I am instability and foreign intervention, destroying the new regime and recreating the old one.
This "game" is goddamn stupid because it's always, and I mean ALWAYS, trivially easy to say something that contradicts what was previously said. It was cute when Gaiman used it in his comic to fill one page but it's not the sort of thing that's actually worth to play.
>>15458 I am an experienced user, your trolling has no effect on me
>>15467 I am your neckbeard and permanent virginity, which make you commit suicide.
I am suicide prevention programs. Please don't kill yourself
>>15458 The fun is in beating the last statement in a clever manner, not in winning. >>15798 I am the phone company, and you haven't been paying your bills.
>>15953 I am an unexpected inheritance, now I have nothing to worry about.
>>15955 I am a jealous sibling with many lawyers. You will never see a penny of it.
>>15957 I am the attorney who was witness to the will, your lawsuits are thrown out of court. (this one feels a little slippery.)
I am the forger, making evidence that goes against your claims.
I am overpreparedness, evidence is verified by 4 expert witnesses, 2 judges, and a goat.
>>15971 Arson. What evidence, and what witnesses?
>>15971 I am the fifth witness, verifying the goat.
I am professional hit man Witness is now gone missing without trace you jelly?
>>15991 I am the forensic investigator, proving without witnesses there was evidence to support the truth.
I am the truth. You can't handle me.
I am conspiracy theories, The FOR-SURE-REAL-TRUTH tm IS THAT WE ARE ALL THE COMMUNIST. IT WAS AN INSIDE JOB HARGARBLAAAAAA
...and I'm the pills.
>>16023 PEEEEEEEEEEEEELZ you say.
>>16024 Curse of the Black Man. You die.
I am the shitty game A.I. I just got you killed AGAIN.
I am a good programmer AI bug? NOT ACCEPTABLE!
>>16036 I am the magnets that the intern stuck to the side of your computer. Sorry, bro.
>>16038 I am multiple redundant backups of the hard drive. nope.avi
>>16044 I'm the Goldeneye satellite. I don't care how many backups you have.
>>16062 I am optical media; unperturbed by EMP strikes, and also generally quite shiny.
>>16063 I am an asteroid. Fuck your shinyness.
>>16074 Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep Cause I'd miss you babe And I don't want to miss a thing
>>16077 I am science. You can not into me. That sounds so wrong.
>>16083 I am SCIENCE! I'm twice as easy as you, and I always look awesome.
>>16088 I am Magic, I don´t make any scientific sense, in any way.
>>16101 I am most systems of magic - totally based on regular, ordered rules and inferences, but based on an unobservable intermediary. I make all kinds of scientific sense, just a lack of proper scientific instruments to make me observable.
>>16102 Plot here, making shit up at the last second to subvert mechanics in favor of message.
>>16114 I am Gnoll.
>>16115 I am Gnoll's short attention span, preventing his quests from ever getting off the ground.
>>16121 I am a dare/challenge, driving Gnoll to action through spite.
I AM STINKOMAAAAN! FIGHTING THE CHALLENGE! ( Doo Dah! )
I am Alzheimer's forgetting what the challenge was...and what's going on
>>16240 I'm Terry Pratchett. Fuck you, Alzheimer's. I'll DICTATE my books if I have to!
>>16405 I am the symptoms of Alzheimer's. Dictation cannot save you n--- ...cannot save y--- No, I'm sorry. I just can't. Of all the fucking diseases to lumber a successful creative person with. ;_;
>>16406 I am a Stephanie Meyer fan. Terry Pratshit can go fuck himself.
>>16645 I'm a literature critic, Meyer-tearing, fan-enraging.
>>16646 I am illiterate. SErlosly ,wjat dob thees buttgns doo?/
>>16654 I am a Chinese Schoolteacher. I'll MAKE you learn if I have to whip it into you.
>>16655 I am birth control law, children preventing, teacher firing
>>16677 I am the crooked enforcer. Taking bribes, looking away.
>>16677 This does not negate the previous thing.
>>16655 I'm a hippy-movement, trading bitterness and discipline for hedonistic freedom.
>>16718 I am resource shortage. While I exist, work must be done and utopias cannot survive.
I am contentment. No longer unhappy with what there is.
I am restlessness. The force that drives us forward. The force that drives us to the ground.
>>16884 I am self-doubt. I turn the energy of restlessness into the waste of procrastination and uncomfortable malaise.
>>16897 I am anti-depressants, making you necessarily happy, possibly suicidal.
>>17018 I am Doctor Rockso, immune to your petty drugs. I do cocaine.
>>17055 I am the drug dealer, I control the spice, I control your universe.
I am the Mafia, we fucking own your ass
>>17221 "Stop the truck, Federal Bureau of Investigation. We'd like to discuss today's shipment..."
I am anarchy, government destroying, FBI overrunning
>>17237 I am apathy. Go revolt in some other country.
>>17254 I am love, life fulfilling, heart rending. I make you care even when you don't want to.
I am the messy breakup, turning you into an ineffectual emo whingebag.
>>17308 I am the rebound, giving you the confidence to get on with life.
>>17325 I am bipolar disorder. Bringing down your high, making you depressed again.
>>17381 I am medication, suppressing your symptoms.
>>17384 I am Louis. I stole your pills.
>>17387 I am the youtube gmod video, making fun of yoPILLS P-P-PILLS GRABBEN' PILLS PI-P-PILLS-P-PILLS
>>17418 I am Painis Cupcake. I will eat you.
I am a pretentious internet hipster, meme scoffing, look downing
I am a hacker. Destroys your blog, screwing up your computer.
>>17430 I am a few basic security measures, completely blocking your attempts at hacking me.
>>17433 I am arrogance, the flaw in every defense.
>>17438 I am Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. No detail escapes my eye. EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECT.
>>17446 I am the slob, messing everything up, not giving a single fuck.
HI I'M BILLY MAYS AND I'M HERE TO CLEAN YOUR FUCKING MESS
I am heart disease, taking your king in the night.
>>17479 I am the paramedic. Defibrillator wielding, life saving.
>>17519 I am the out of control car, about to CRASH INTO THAT AMBULANCE OF FUCK OH FUCK OH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
>>17526 I am Megatron. I keep out-of-control cars in line [i[by force[/i]. Peace through tyranny, and all that exhaust.
>>17527 I am an EMP, robot destroying, car stopping.
I am a human, unaffected by EMP, except maybe a slight headache.
I am a nuke, mankilling and emp-generating.
>>17530 I am MAD, the swarm of nukes heading back to your country of origin and burning the world.
>>17531 I am the water bear. I don't care.
>>17532 I am everything else in the world. You are far too small to touch me. I don't care.
I am the universe, not caring if you live or die, still doing what has always been done.
>>17535 I am a SUPERVILLAIN. I DESTROY universes! For the lulz!
>>17536 I am a hero, villain defeating.
>>17537 i am the ONE WEAKNESS, hero foiling.
I am Retcon, your weakness is as hard to pin down as a greased adamantine moth.
>>17539 I am dumb luck, discovering weakness when I'm not actually trying.
>>17540 I am dumb luck, discovering strength when I'm not really trying.
>>17542 I am the "fair" PRNG, dubious product of OCD game design. Bell-curve enforcing, luck-disregarding.
>>17545 I am a true random number generator, luck-allowing, bell-curve-following-anyway-because-fuck-it.
>>17547 I am a glitch, RNG-breaking, system destroying.
>>17548 I am the speed-runner, glitch manipulating, game defeating.
>>17550 I am The Game, unbeatable, never-ending.
>>17552 I am short-term memory loss. Man's ultimate weapon against The Game.
>>17554 I am sticky notes, brightly colored, memory-assisting.
I am Weak Glue, resulting in sticky notes not living up to their names and falling behind or under furniture.
I am lava and I am what the floor is
>>17561 I am water, lava-spawn-destroying, obsidian-making.
>>17567 I am Ice-nine; water freezing, self-propagating.
>>17571 I am Ice 10, one level higher than Ice 9.
>>17573 I am Bill, world-heating, ice-melting.
>>17574 I am the media, propagating the stupid, biased against all other parties.
>>17575 I am the Internet. The traditional media never stop talking about how I will destroy them (between retroactively causing autism and causing the downfall of society).
I am Anonymous. Populating the Internet, making it more awesome/broken.
>>17578 I am a corrupt government, internet monitoring, anonymity compromising.
>>17579 I am Bureaucracy. Good luck wading through the forest of red tape, Mr. Mcarthy!
>>17603 I am Anarchy, order lacking, nation toppling.
>>17613 Invalid subject. Anarchy was already used by >>17237
>>17617 Oh. Uh... >>17603 I am a terrorist, government bombing, building toppling.
>>17620 I am failure. The bombs fizzled, the police shot first, and you got picked up at the airport. Plus, your answer was invalid. YOU LOSE.
So is that new game, or do we continue?
>>17626 Both are tempting. I like the idea of making an Oldest Game last a thousand posts. Or at least five hundred. New game clears the board to reuse old favorites. I'll leave it to someone else. Don't forget to re-use the OP image (a single pixel change will do).
I am The Oldest Game. Even in the bleakest of turns, failure is always averted!
>>17650 I'm the guy who screwed it up, failure causing, game losing.
I'm a tgchan mod, and I can edit posts.
>>17652 I am the hacker. Us1ng l33t sp34k, scr3w1ng y3r w3bs1t3 f0r t3h w1n.
>>17654 I am inexplicable hardware failure, computer-destroying, money-consuming.
>>17682 I am a job, money-providing, fuck-it-just-buy-a-new-one-enabling.
>>17684 I am an economic downturn. The sector you were trying to work in no longer exists.
>>17685 I am communism. What's an economy?
>>17686 I am China. Just claim to be communist, make shitload more money than capitalists.
>>17687 I am rebellion, martyr-making, government-overthrowing.
>>17697 I am superior firepower. Rebellion suppressing, bomb spamming.
I am Mutually Assured Destruction, firepower-withholding, paranoia-inducing.
>>17716 I am strategic disarmament, convincing you to throw away your nukes, keeping some of mine behind my back.
I am North Korea, not caring bout you or your sanctions, still buildin' nukes with drug money.
I am South Korea, everyone likes us more.
I am Starcraft, bane of your people.
I am curfew, you played enough, shuttin you down right as you are about to kick your rival's ass.
>>17721 I am a lock-in, curfew-violating, fun-encouraging.
I am personal responsibility, forcing you to study calculus through the lock-in despite what you really want to do.
I am short attention span. Distracting. Forgetting your Cal-holy shiit POKEMON!!
>>17733 I am Ritalin. Focusing, personality-dampening.
>>17741 I am the pharmacist, not giving Ritalin until I see a prescription.
I am malpractice, giving treatment when it is not needed and vice versa.
I am a frivolous lawsuit, nothing is beneath me, making money off of pain and suffering.
I am an experienced lawyer, brushing aside baseless lawsuits.
I am legal fees. Talent costs money