Gentlemen. Since I cannot draw for my life and I am using paint, I shall do a STICKQUEST to sate my desire to create a quest. This will be a "first come, first serve" sort of thing. First post gets it, no matter what it is, so if you want your suggestion (crappily)drawn, be brief. First decision: Gender, go.
hermaphrodite.
>>8172 Hermaphrodite robot. ROBOOOOOOT
You are now a HERMAPHRODITE. You feel like you were trolled by god, for some reason. Next Decision: Name, go.
prostitute
Gorblesnatch von Humperdink
Barnaby Jones
Hermaphrodite - like the Goddess Aphrodite.
>>8183 Your name is now PROSTITUTE.
Frud Frud FrudFrud
NOW SELL YOUR SERVICE
>>8188 Oh yeah, next decision: AGE GOGOGO
Fetal.
200000000
>>8192 You are now a HERMAPHRODITE FETUS named PROSTITUTE. >>8189 You shout FRUD FRUD FRUDFRUD as loud as you can, but no one seems to be around...
>>8199 Masturbate with your PARTIALLY FORMED HANDS.
>>8199 Right. Now we need to make us something awesome. COMMAND STEM CELLS to make AWESOME SWORD HANDS LIKE BARAKA. Then find someone to kill.
>>8202 >>8205 This shall not end well.
>>8202 (oh god this is so wrong fuck you /quest/) You schlick furiously with your PARTIALLY FORMED HANDS. You can't feel anything though.
>>8209 Keep doing it until BIRTH
>>8209 SWORD HANDS, man! SWORD HANDS. And then schlick. Actually SWORD DILDO HANDS.
>>8210 You continue to schlick until you are born! You see a figure...
"What the-" "GOO" "OH GOD JESUS FUCK AHHHH" The odd man runs off.
>>8213 Land on HEAD. Ooze out BRAIN.
>>8213 HUNT him. Now we play... the most dangerous game.
>>8215 You land on your head and suffer brain damage! You have lost 5 INT, but you have gained 5 STR.
>>8221 Wet self and cry. WE ARE BABBY
>>8221 You wet yourself and cry. YOU ARE BABBY
Projectile shit out of your ass and use it to hover around. We need ANSWERS, DAMMIT!!
>>8226 Crap self and cry. WE ARE CHILD.
>>8227 LIFTOFF, BITCHES You have gained power: SHIT LEVITATION
>>8230 Run out of poop and fall, breaking both legs and lying in a puddle of our own secretions.
>>8230 Alright, now we're making some headway! Hover around and start looking for whoever's in charge here. They better have a fucking good explanation.
>>8232 God damn your life sucks.
>>8238 Schlick to feel better. Right there in the mess.
>>8238 Form ARMOR from EXCREMENT. HUNT man who rand away.
PRIMUS I'M SORRY I JUST WANTED TO SEE HOW HORRIBLE THE SUGGESTION WOULD HAVE TO BE BEFORE YOU SKIPPED IT DESPITE BEING FIRST I DIDN'T MEAN TO RUIN YOUR QUEST I AM SORRY
>>8238 >sq11.jpg Oh god that image is so fucking hot.
>>8239 You feel a little better, but you're still lying in piss and shit. >>8241 'tis alright. (you sick bastard)
roll around
>>8245 You are now covered in piss and shit. You fail to see how this helps.
>>8250 Good point. Well, there's no other food and leaving it there is wasteful. Lick/eat the stuff on the ground.
>>8250 Make a cocoon of your various waste products. Incubate yourself, and emerge with a fair of butterfly wings. Made of shit.
Combine the SHIT, PISS and your TONGUE to glide to safety. Remember to keep the ground "greased" at all times.
>>8251 EUGH. It tastes nasty! You feel like you need some answers. You pray to your GOD (PICK A GOD: GOGOGOGO
>>8263 DOCTORS! And maybe the'll get us to ICU and do something about the mess and brain damage.
>>8250 Get a variety of infections and die from complications due to them.
>>8263 Xom.
Realize the inevitable problem with selecting actions based on nothing more than who answers first. Await death, to be born anew. Karma owes you a hell of a lot in your next life.
>>8266 You pray to the great DOCTOR IN THE SKY... He then picks you up. "WHY THE FUCK IS A BABY COVERED IN PISS AND SHI JUST LAYING ON THE GROUND?? NURSE!!" You feel a pair of warm comforting arms pick you up...
>>8278 schlick on his fingers. DO IT NOW
PISS AND SHIT ON DOCTOR
>>8278 FOR ME TO POOP ON!
Use your projectile shit powers to rocket out of his arms!
>>8280 You attempt to masturbate, but the arms are holding you too tightly! (CHOOCHOOO) You are then placed in a bed.
>>8286 Ok, schlick again. Goddamn do I have to tell you everything?
>>8287 You hide under the covers so no one will see your horrifying deed. You hear two voices from outside, but you cannot hear them well...
>>8290 KEEP GOING WHATEVER HAPPENS KEEP ON RUBBIN THAT BUD
>>8295 You RUB THE BUD until you die of lack of fluids and exaustion due to orgasm. THE END GOOD END (so ends my first quest. thanks to you sick fuck(s) out there for making it...memorable. For now, I shall pass out and try to get these images out of my head.)
Great success. We accomplished a lot here today, gentlemen!
>>8304 COME BACK TO LIFE AND SCHLICK MORE
>>8307
>>8317 Then stay dead <3