Kaustinen 2010/11/06(Sat)12:37 No. 253132 ID: 9b6c31
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In my dream,
I am Kaustinen.
It's me.

FOR THE RECORD

>>253132
Obtain alcohol

You appear to be in the land of little cubes in the astral sea.

>>253132
Fuck this shit! Punch the cube at your feet until things start making sense.

Kaustinen 2010/11/06(Sat)12:43 No. 253140 ID: 9b6c31
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Alcohol where?

Kaustinen 2010/11/06(Sat)12:50 No. 253144 ID: 9b6c31
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It's like.... Who needs this fucking bullshit!

>>253144
Realize that there is an infinite void below the platform that you just destroyed

>>253144
Punch the fabric of space so hard and fast that it somehow turns into vodka.

>>253151
perfect!

Kaustinen 2010/11/06(Sat)12:58 No. 253162 ID: 9b6c31
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This space has too many..... Wormholes and rifts!

reverse wormholes.

Kaustinen 2010/11/06(Sat)13:04 No. 253167 ID: 9b6c31
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Damn buildings.

cool, maybe it has vodka?

Bro, I don't think you can into space very well.

Kaustinen 2010/11/06(Sat)13:22 No. 253175 ID: 9b6c31
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>Vodka
Locating...

404!

It smells like..... soap!

damn.. wait, soap means people! maybe it's a hot chick!?!

>>253175
Enter building via roof
If no stairs are found, make an entrance

Kaustinen 2010/11/06(Sat)13:53 No. 253195 ID: 9b6c31
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No staris! So I have to create staris of my OWN!

Kaustinen 2010/11/06(Sat)13:53 No. 253196 ID: 9b6c31
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[ Paused, continued next weekend ]

>>253195
Soap means the possibility of chemicals. Or possibly hand cleaning alcohol. Down we go!

Kaustinen 2010/11/13(Sat)12:59 No. 255947 ID: 9b6c31
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Stairs created, soap located.

...Soap-water.
>"HEY! You did a horrible mess. You cannot just break in like that!!"

It is a BLUE GOAST. It seems aggressive! Will I punch it?

>>255947
Can the soap water function as makeshift alcohol?
If so, drink the soap water, if not, punch BLUE GOAST.

you need Orange powers to harm Blue objects.

>>255947
Fuck yeah you're going to punch it. Punch it until it tells you where you can get your hands on some motherfucking booze.

Kaustinen 2010/11/13(Sat)13:18 No. 255966 ID: 9b6c31
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Soapwater!

BLARGH!

use Bubble Beam!

Kaustinen 2010/11/13(Sat)13:20 No. 255969 ID: 9b6c31
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Soapwater is BAD!

I must punish this goast for his shenanigans!
GODDAMN GOASTS IMMUNE TO FISTS!

BUBBLE BEAM!!

Kaustinen 2010/11/13(Sat)13:30 No. 255977 ID: 9b6c31
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BUBBLE-BEAM!

Kaustinen 2010/11/13(Sat)13:38 No. 255980 ID: 9b6c31
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>"A-ha-ha! You thought that your pitiful bubbles could stand against me INTERDIMENSIONAL VACUUM-CLEARNER OF GREATER SUCKING?! Don't make me laugh!"
Oh no I am getting sucked in!

>>255969
Well then you need to punch him fucking harder!

>>255980
Nothing that a bit more punching won't solve. Now get with the fucking punching. Break apart that puny vacum cleaner like you broke the fabric of space and time with your fists.

Kaustinen 2010/11/13(Sat)13:48 No. 255988 ID: 9b6c31
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FFFFF THIS SUCKS!

>"Don't mess up with Sucker of the Colours-gang!"

Kaustinen 2010/11/13(Sat)13:50 No. 255989 ID: 9b6c31
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It is dark and dusty here.
I absolutely hate dark and dusty places.

make it lighter out of pure willpower.

Kaustinen 2010/11/13(Sat)14:13 No. 256001 ID: 9b6c31
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All my hate!

[ Paused ]

oh cool, STUFF! examine the fuck out of that stuff!

>>256001
Hey, maybe there is some booze in here. Better check around before you punch your way out.

Kaustinen 2011/02/11(Fri)12:54 No. 280938 ID: 9b6c31
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Kaustinen's Pretty Short, Unamusing Quest to Attain Alcoholic Beverages, Punch People He Hates and Escape Some Sort of Surreal Alternate Dimension CONTINUED
Chapter 2: SOME STUUPID GOAST MANAGED TO TRAP US IN SOME SORT OF WAREHOUSE FULL OF SHINIES AND NO ALCOHOL. STUPID STUPID STUPID.


Shinies..
Only shinies! Shinies are USELESS! No good for drinking! There ain't shops around here, so fuck these shinies! Gold, jewelry, fuck them!

>>280938
Jump as high as you can and punch the ceiling.

>>280938
Grab some so that you might buy booze once you get out. Once you have stocked up on shinies it's time to punch through space and time again. Rip reality a new one with your fists of fury.

Kaustinen 2011/02/11(Fri)13:31 No. 280946 ID: 9b6c31
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The jump is too short! I am falling, mayday, mayday!

>>280946
Well fuck.
Punch the ground instead while you are on the way down! USE GRAVITY TO MAKE YOUR PUNCH LAND HARDER!

Also, try to pick up shinies if possible.

Kaustinen 2011/02/11(Fri)13:41 No. 280950 ID: 9b6c31
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Ground is strong! Punching caused a very large crack, and with another punch, I could break it!

Too bad there are ENEMIES.

>>280950
Adventurers, the bane of all existence!

Punch the short, annoying looking one with one hand, and the old guy in robes with another hand!
Then punch the guy in armour!

>>280950
You must punch them. And quickly. Get the skinny one in the robe first. Then punch the midget into the dude with armour.

Kaustinen 2011/02/11(Fri)14:20 No. 280958 ID: 9b6c31
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"Come at me bros"

[ Paused ]

>>280958
Nice Groke face...

Kaustinen 2011/04/22(Fri)07:48 No. 298237 ID: 9b6c31
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Pow, old guy dead!
Pow, big guy dead!
Pow, little guy aaaaa

This dude is faaaaaaaast! Like a fucking lightning.
Ow ow ow ow!

Stick out a leg so he trips over it and you can punch him.

>>298237
Well he still needs some fucking even ground to run on. Lets destroy the shit out of that so he will have to slow down or trip and break a leg.

Kaustinen 2011/04/30(Sat)15:39 No. 300501 ID: 9b6c31
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shit.

Kaustinen 2011/04/30(Sat)15:40 No. 300502 ID: 9b6c31
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shitshitshit this sucks.

>>300502
Grab the pipe!

>>300502
Grab something. Or punch the air to make yourself stop or move upwards.

Kaustinen 2011/05/07(Sat)12:35 No. 302272 ID: 9b6c31
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OW

Kaustinen 2011/05/07(Sat)12:58 No. 302281 ID: 9b6c31
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I'm........ in the house! Smells like rotten meat.

Uppercut GOLDEN MAN while shouting "ONE HIT K.O." since, you know, announcing it as such makes it so.

He is obviously a distinguished gentleman. Fare him a good day.

>>302281
Is that a YELLOW GOAST?
Or just a man who happens to be yellow/golden in overall coloration?

In any case: Ask him if there is any alcohol around.

Kaustinen 2011/05/13(Fri)07:39 No. 303891 ID: 9b6c31
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A GOAST!
"WHERE IS THE ALCOHOL? TELL ME OR I PUNCH YOUR SHIT!"
"Our booze is in the treasure vault. Fine stuff. Stolen few decades back. But we cannot access the vault anyway. Red has the key, and he is- well- lost somewhere."
"WHERE IS RED?"
"Somewhere. I think the doorman saw him three days ago. Now, who are you and what are you doing in our secret hide-out?"

>>303891
Loudly announce your name, and your quest for punching and booze.

Well to be honest we're kindof lost aren't we? We're trying to get back home and possibly get some booze too.

>>303891
Tell the gentleman there's no time to explain, that alcohol needs your help ASAP. So there's a vault in the way? Good thing you have the greatest safecracking tools in creation - your fists!

This guy looks like a the doctor. Ask him where his TARDIS is

Kaustinen 2011/05/15(Sun)11:58 No. 304375 ID: 9b6c31
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"I AM KAUSTINEN, PUNCHER OF THINGS, SEEKER OF BOOZE! AND I DEMAND ALCOHOL!"
"Sure thing. But it's behind the vault, so we cannot access it."
"I'LL PUNCH THE VAULT OPEN!"
"The vault is completely made out of goastium. It cannot be penetrated by living beings."

fuck that shit RIP AND TEAR

I guess you'll have to do some chain-reaction punching, either punching something so that it opens the vault or wearing... ugh... gloves.

Simply punch the vault using the dead cells that almost certainly cover your most likely unwashed hands.

Those technically are several NOT-living beings, thus by the power of loopholes, they should penetrate the goastium. Logic!

Kaustinen 2011/05/15(Sun)14:48 No. 304388 ID: 9b6c31
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OW! FUCKING OW!
"No, it did not work at all."
"SHUT UP! I AM THINKING!"
THINKING! THOUGHTS! THOUGHTS!
"Yes, the whole vault is made out of goastium. It is also extra-ordinarily sturdy. While I have a weapon to destroy the vault without effort, I would also destroy the subdimension created inside and cut off access to the goods forever."
"Now if you excuse me, I am going to take a bath."

>>304388
Shit, we need a ghoast to hit it with then. Pick up yellow ghoast and smash him into the vault until it gives.

Bah. You are not manly enough to break through the vault. Get manlier or go speak with the doorman about this Red character.

>>304388
Shit just punch your way to Red ALREADY!

Ask where Red is.

Kaustinen 2011/05/16(Mon)11:41 No. 304526 ID: 9b6c31
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Doorman found. He is the orange goast.
HE HAS HUGE GUTS! HE IS SLEEPING ON THE JOB!!!! What a lazy bumm.........

I poked him. Still asleep.
PPFFFFT.

Awaken the large goast and inquire whether he would like to join your quest to attain alcoholic beverages, and punch people.

>>304526
Start smacking him harder until he wakes up. Punch him in his goast nads if you have to.

Kaustinen 2011/05/17(Tue)14:09 No. 304850 ID: 9b6c31
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SLAP THAT MOTHERFUCKER!
"Zzzzz...aaaaaaAH! King! I wasn't sleeping, I swear!"
"Fuck that shit man, I am in for booze. Want to join? Booze will be mine tho!"
"Oh! A living?! I haven't seen a living creature in 45 years! And no, I am afraid I cannot."
"Why the fuck maaaaan. That's bullshit. Fuck you. Where is Red? I need to punch his shit until he gives me the key to the vault!"
"Vault? Why... Oh oh! He is in top floor. He is not a friendly fellow. And watch out for Zap. She is quite grumbled today."
"HMPH!"

That turned out better than I expected. Get to that top floor. Zap sounds like some electric bitch. Watch out for her.

Kaustinen 2011/05/20(Fri)12:25 No. 305516 ID: 9b6c31
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UP I GO!

"For the last time, stop spreading dirt all over the place!"
>Implying that it is my doing.
"Yes it is!! Why is it so hard? Can't you just warp from place to place without making a mess?!"
>Implying that using spatial artifact doesn't take effort.
"Bah!"
>Implying you did not notice our guest.
"Ho, who?"

Kaustinen 2011/05/20(Fri)12:26 No. 305518 ID: 9b6c31
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"IT'S YOU!"

grab vacuum and snap it over your knee.

>greentext ghost
Say "GREATER THAN IMPLYING I WILL NOT PUNCH YOU IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHERE RED IS."

>>305516
NEW GOAL: MAKE SWEET LOVE TO GREEN GIRL. AND/OR HARD FUCK.

>>305518
YOU'RE USING A GHOST VACUUM FAGGOT. GET ME BEER AND I'LL USE A REAL VACUUM TO CLEAN FOR REAL. DON'T GET ME BEER AND YOU'LL SEE HOW HARD IT IS TO CLEAN GHOST-BLOOD OUT OF CARPET.

Reach deep into POCKET and pull out POCKET FLUFF. Throw it on the floor and he'll have no choice but to VACUUM that shit. The because VACUUM-NOOB is immune to human punches grab GREEN-TEXT-GIRL's fist and hit him with it!

>>305546
yes perfect. if ghosts cannot be hit by human fists then use ghost fists!

Kaustinen 2011/05/21(Sat)16:05 No. 305782 ID: 9b6c31
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POW!
"STOP PUNCHING YOUR COMRADES!"
The blue fucker collapsed!
"Ooow."
>implying he did not deserve that.
>further implications that you can even defeat me.
"Stop implying and tell me where the Red is!"
>implying that I will tell you anything other than "fuck you".

Kaustinen 2011/05/21(Sat)16:06 No. 305783 ID: 9b6c31
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ZAP!
The fucker disappeared!

steal blue's vacuum. it can be used as a weapon.

Weapon? We use fists to punch things we hate. We take blue's fists with us.

>>305796
Use the vacuum to break off the goast's arms, and equip the spectral limbs as gloves, so you may punch goasts!

>>305803
We are losing sight of our previous goal, can we use the goast hands to punch into the vault with the booze? If not we should continue with our plans of violent coercion against this Red goast.

>>305782
ROMANCE CRITICAL FAILURE.

>>305862
Romance is not a named main goal. The goals are:
-Attain alcoholic beverages
-Punch people we hate
-Escape surreal alternate dimension

If you want to hold a vote for naming romance as a secondary goal I'd approve the motion for a vote but would vote against: Because goasts, I do not want to be molested by Patrick Swayze.

>>305877
People hated are punched, we are close to obtaining alcohol, and we have escaped the surreal alternate dimension. We are in, like, the fourth dimension or something. THUS!

I dunno, she's hot.

>>305783
Lets try using blue as a battering ram against the vault.

Kaustinen 2011/05/26(Thu)08:07 No. 306891 ID: 9b6c31
File 130642244158.png - (18.31KB , 512x512 , 33.png )

I BREAK HIS HANDS OFF USING THE VACUUMER!
...
It is not working!!!!! They go poff!

ZAP!

Duck. Punch up.

duck, then upper cut.

Perform a NINJA-DUCK followed by a ABOVE-HEAD-SELF-HIGH-FIVE. When your awesome self gratificating palms meet a leg instead of each other, MAN-GRAB said leg, and then swing it forward as hard as you can.

Also, if you desire to hit on the green goast you met earlier you should not destroy her but instead disarm and pin her in a hold, then try a line maybe. I'm pretty sure it's her except she's tying some goast trickery to beat you without spending much effort.

Shoryuken her in the cunt to establish dominance.

>>306891
Kick to the face incoming! Do >>306906

Suggestion 2011/05/30(Mon)13:23 No. 307891 ID: 9b6c31
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High-five motherfucker!
>Implying man-grabbing and throwing me will help.
ZAP!
FFFF what an annoying wanker.

take vacuum apart so you have just the handle. use it like a bat or a club.

>>307891
GODAMNIT JUST SUCK HER INTO THE VACUUM ALREADY.

Kaustinen 2011/06/03(Fri)05:38 No. 308711 ID: 9b6c31
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ZAP!
SMAAAASH!!
>OOOOW!

TWO GHOSTS DOWN! Let's locate that fucker Red!

Kaustinen 2011/06/03(Fri)05:41 No. 308712 ID: 9b6c31
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It's Red.
It's him.
He has the........... key.

>>308712
Well what are you waiting for then? Fuck him up and get the key to the booze.

Take key for DELICIOUS ALCOHOL.

His back is turned. Sneak up.

Don't attack him, he could be another classy gentleman. But I doubt he wants you to open that safe so PUNCH ERRTHING

Kaustinen 2011/06/10(Fri)16:48 No. 311609 ID: 9b6c31
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I just take that fucking key and leave that wanker.

"Stop."
"What is your name. Are you on my list? Who sent you? Are you on my list?"
"You look angry. Angry targets are easy pickings. I hope you are on my list. Are you? Who sent you? Why are you in our hideout? Were you invited?"

"orange told me a guy on your list is at the front door"

We're not on his list, Yellow sent us, and we're just visiting.

>>311616

We're not on the list, Yellow sent us, and the booze invited us.

Kaustinen 2011/06/11(Sat)14:31 No. 312021 ID: 9b6c31
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"King sent you? You are not on list? That means I must give you the key. Are you sure you are not on the list?
You should be. Have this key. Begone. Use the elevator."

I have................... the key!!!!
The.... elevator? There is an elevator? RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGHHHHH!!!!


------------------

I SEE GREEN AND YELLOW.
>implying that he is not a huge dickhead.
>further implying that Sucker is not cleaning up the blood
"Watch it dear, he is with us now. And he has.... the key!"
>implying we shouldn't just take the key and kill him.
"FUCK YOU, I HAVE THE KEY."
"Now now, it is not polite to outright murder our guest."
"Zap, please go assist Sucker. We are going to open the vault. Banks is waiting for us."

>Implying yellow text is not hard to read.

Enough talk, open the safe.

Kaustinen 2011/06/11(Sat)15:21 No. 312043 ID: 9b6c31
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HOLY SHIT SO MUCH MONEY.

"Hello Banks! I haven't seen you in days. Got trapped in the vault again?"
"Oh, hello King! Yes, I got trapped here. It has been boring here. We really should be able to open the vault from the inside."
FUKKEN MONEY.
"I modified space of this room a bit. This room was so small..."
"Marvelous! You can thank this little guy for opening the vault. He might be able to help us with the gate too!"
"Hohoho! You think so? That is great! I'll be going to my room now."
"Now, Kaustinen, was it? You can have all alcohol you can carry. You are lost, aren't you? Living things are not supposed to be around here. I can show you way out. It is blocked, and I am pretty sure only living beings can pass it. Do you wish to see it?"
YOU COULD BUY SO MUCH BOOZE WITH ALL THAT.

grab an ASSLOAD of booze and money and lets go see that gate.

Yes to booze, yes to way out.

...ask if you can have a little bit of that dosh.

Hell yes. Grab booze and jump through gate back to reality for BEST END.

Acquire booze, follow Yellow.

>>312043
Get drunk with them. You have booze because of them! Share the wealth! Fuck Green!

Kaustinen 2011/06/12(Sun)13:27 No. 312386 ID: 9b6c31
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I take booze and steal some of their money! Lousy faggots having so much money!!!!! Economy is in ruins....

We ride the elevator. The elevator is..... terrible! Who needs this bullshit!?!?!

Kaustinen 2011/06/12(Sun)13:29 No. 312387 ID: 9b6c31
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Holy shit the gate is HUUUUUGE!!
"Heh, I haven't been here for a while.
As you can see, the gate is closed, but it is not made out of goastium. You might be able to punch a hole through it. Try. It."

>>312387
BIGGEST. FUCKING. PUNCH. EVER.

>>312387
Punch the gate!
SHOW IT THE POWER OF A MAN WHO HAS ATTAINED ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES!

Yours is the fist that will smash that goddamn door.

Consume booze, punch gates.

>>312387
PUNCH, WITH ALL OF THE MIGHT YOU CAN MUSTER, AND SMASH THAT SHIT

It is too late, obviously. You have drunk the alcohol, yes? Isn't the yellow goast looking Unreasonable Attractive and Molestation Prone? Have a quickie before you go.

I demand affirmative action!

Kaustinen 2011/07/05(Tue)18:01 No. 322160 ID: 178c80
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FUCK THE GAAAAAATES!

Kaustinen 2011/07/05(Tue)18:02 No. 322164 ID: 178c80
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Gates are PUSSIES. BIG PUSSIES.
I AM NOW OUT OF HERE.

"Farewell Kaustinen. I hope we see again someday."

FUCK NO.

Kaustinen 2011/07/05(Tue)18:03 No. 322165 ID: 178c80
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I walk into the darkness like a man, out of this stupid fucking dimenisfon.............!!!!!!

Kaustinen 2011/07/05(Tue)18:07 No. 322167 ID: 178c80
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I AM BACK MOTHERFUCKEEERS!
Now I jus--- have to locate home-

Assballs.

Suggestion 2011/07/05(Tue)18:07 No. 322169 ID: 178c80
File 130991446562.png - (10.95KB , 680x680 , 47.png )

"Hehe."

>>322169
What does the sign say?

>>322171
"STAY OUT"

Suggestion 2011/07/05(Tue)18:32 No. 322181 ID: 178c80
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After escaping some sort of surreal dimension, Kaustinen went to get drunk. And boy, he sure got drunk. He was very happy.

Meanwhile, Colour-Gang was freed from their decades long seal. They instantly proceeded to claw their way back to the top. Now undead, they are re-establishing their massive crime-empire, King leading them.

Kaustinen, of course, disappeared two days after returning from some sort of surreal alternate dimension.

Kaustinen 2011/07/05(Tue)18:32 No. 322182 ID: 178c80
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Where the fuck am I?!

[ THE END ]