>>273255
this will either
1) Make the ogre attempt to go fight the monster.
2) Make the ogre sneak out and look for an easier job.
3) Make it do something stupid, because its stupid.

>>273256
Therefore it is an excellent backup plan.

>>273103
turn into dragon
hope it scares the living crap out of him?

Immobilize him with ice or something?

or... castration?

There's always the last ditch let him have his way with you but do something horrible to him before he has time to think...

I dunno what to do when stabby stabby doesn't work...

>>273137
Yup.

Rynh 2011/01/21(Fri)19:06 No. 273556 ID: 8c0848
File 129566559623.png - (267.92KB , 1024x768 , 456.png )

I guess I'll try to trick him. Ogres aren't known for incredible smarts.
"Just getting your attention. The golem has gone haywire and it's wrecking everything."

"See, dat ain't any concern o' mine. I just make sure the prisoners stay in my jail and anyone trying to take prisoners out o' my jail don't take any prisoners out o' my jail. Do you un'erstand me well enough?"

He's basically ignoring me and just going for some kind of huge chunk of metal with a handle that was laying on the table. I doubt he gives a shit about anything I say.

>>273556
Or... he's not fooled at all and is planning to use that giant cleaver to carve the shit out of you. Be ready in case that's the case. You could keep playing your bluff or try something else.

Start freeing prisoners. Quick.

>>273556
Can you covertly make the ground collapse underneath him? Or the ceiling onto him?
Or polymorph him into an ogre-mummy so he'll be very vulnerable to fire?

Unless you feel you wouldn't be able to live with yourself after leaving a bunch of helpless prisoners behind, it may be worth it to not get tied up in a battle and instead detonate the explosives and escape alive.
If you do want to fight him, you would probably be best off attempting to electrocute him through the metal cleaver. If he's resistant to fire and stabbing, this seems to be your best bet.

>>273561
The keys are on a hook to his right. And don't even think of grabbing them with magic, we WILL get caught.

>>273565
Grab them with magic.

>>273556
Yeah, okay. This might hurt. Wrap the scarf around you as tight as you can, so he can't really get a grip on it. Don't want him doing what we did to it's previous owner. What other tricks do we currently up our sleeves?

>>273581
Ice on the floor is traditional. Depending upon how much of the floor we could cover, it might be able to render him almost completely combat ineffective- swinging a heavy melee weapon like that on ice, really?

Rynh 2011/01/21(Fri)20:14 No. 273596 ID: 8c0848
File 129566968920.png - (245.93KB , 1024x768 , 457.png )

>You could keep playing your bluff or try something else.
"Somebody has to stop that golem. You could hel-", suddenly, he spins and slashes at me with the cleaver. I barely manage to deflect the impact with my sword, but I end up thrown across the room and into the opposite wall.
"That ain't my job. I guard the prisoners and I kill the intruders. Dat's all I got to concern myself wit'!"

>planning to use that giant cleaver to carve the shit out of you. Be ready in case that's the case.

I noticed and I was, for all the good it did me. Ouch.

>The keys are on a hook to his right.
I don't think I'm going to be able to get many doors open with him in the room swinging that slab of iron around. I'll have to grab them later.

>What other tricks do we currently up our sleeves?
Hmm... Hit him harder? He can't be invincible. He's far bulkier than Thodren or that bald guy I burned the hair off of, in that he's disgustingly fat. I should have a fair speed advantage. Other than that, he's a huge fucking leathery rock. I have no idea.

>>273596

He's got one eye. That should be weakness enough.

Throw sand or dirt in his face. Blow fire. Do something!

>>273596
>I don't think I'm going to be able to get many doors open with him in the room swinging that slab of iron around. I'll have to grab them later.
Considering how ridiculously strong he is, he'd probably accidentally bash open the doors if you're standing near them when he tries to hit you. Could create a jailbreak and conveniently provide you with a few fleeing distractions, if you're willing to try to maneuver him into doing that.

>>273597
His eye does seem like his only viable weak point at the moment. I continue to back floor ice pending being told that we can't use it, since it seems like a fairly basic elemental trick that could help a lot and we've shown pretty flexible elementalism powers.

Icicle to eye.

>>273596
Yell "Is that all you've got, fatass?!?" ready your sword and rush him. Of course you aren't going to hurt him like that plus make yourself an easy target so when you get close enough breathe a big blast of fire at his face to provide cover, jump over him and his attack onto his head and stab his fucking eye out.

>>273598
Taking advantage of him thrashing about are better tactics for when he is doing it blindly. I think he's too damn heavy to slip around and too strong for the ice to hold him anywhere. With his eye taken out Rynh should just unload lightning blasts from a safe distance.

>>273606
Well if she uses the fire breath to blind him then she could use earth instead of ice for that. It would keep her at a safer distance but be less reliable for a good hit.

>speed advantage
Run away. Go home. Get paid. Get laid.

>>273613
The ice was actually meant as an idea entirely independent of stabbing his eye out. Larger creatures are more vulnerable to low-friction surfaces due to their high center of gravity; in his case even more so, looking at the relative size of his legs compared to his and upper body. If for some reason we can't successfully get his eye, it should buy us an even greater mobility advantage- if he tries to move at anything other than a careful walk on an ice slick he WILL fall.

But obviously, that only buys time and mobility, it doesn't actually make us win.

>>273615
>just discovered /moo/

>>273596
Blast his weapon with lightning. If it's just a big, crude slab of iron it might shatter, and there's a good chance the shock will cause his hand to convulse.

>>273596
Could be that ogres look fat when they're not. So don't assume that he won't be a quick fucker. ANyway, fuck this shit. Lead the golem here instead. Then the two of them can fight while you slip out of here, get paid and then party like there is no tomorrow.

Use the cleaver as a lightning rod and electrocute him.

If you're going to use lightning then mind that he's got a lot of body mass so shocks could get diluted. You could target a specific body part by putting your hands on either side of it and running electricity between your hands. Good if you can get a shot in on his head or heart.

>>273596
Turn into an orge yourself or is that out of your size range? If you could do that you'd get to also be a big leathery rock. Maybe then you could get into a fisticuffs fight.

He said himself he has to guard the prisoners <i>and</i> kill the intruders. Which means you can split his focus by retreating. At some point, he's going to decide that he has to stop following you to go back to the prison cells.

Couple things you can try then; if you think you can snag the keys from him, run back to the cells, and get at least some of them open before he gets back, you can do that. Or you can start doing stick and move attacks; he'll either stand his ground and get picked apart or start chasing you again--at which point you back off <i>more</i> until he starts dithering again.

(If he ever decides 'fuck the prisoners, this bitch is going down', that's your cue to lead him into the golem's stomping path.)

Rynh 2011/01/22(Sat)19:23 No. 273895 ID: 8c0848
File 129575299841.png - (268.03KB , 1024x768 , 458.png )

>ready your sword and rush him.
I'll give it another shot. I rush him and he immediately blocks it. A few thuds reverberate through the stone from upstairs and makes me wonder what I'm doing down here fighting this guy.
"If yer gonna bother me, at least make it interesting."

Blast open the prisoners' cells. Simultaneous escape attempts will make it interesting.

Rynh 2011/01/22(Sat)19:27 No. 273898 ID: 8c0848
File 129575322167.png - (285.26KB , 1024x768 , 459.png )

I jump back and try to catch him off guard with ice under the feet, but he just stands there perfectly still. "Is dat all? Tryin' to make my feet cold ain't gonna kill me last I checked."
Well, he's stopped dead for a moment, I should try doing something devastating while he's immobile.

Swing for the back of the knee to flip him on his back, then a downward jab into the eye.

He's immune to stabbing, fire, and ice attacks. You have but one option left: shoot lightning like your life depends on it right into the cleaver. See if you can stop his heart or make him convulse helplessly. If that doesn't work, you could always run and abandon the prisoners.

Start opening cell doors like a motherfucker!

Just show him your tits.

>>273898
He has a mouth, and though it might smell like it he doesn't shit from there.

Pop a spike out of the ground up to his anus, then drop his legs out from under him. Gravity does the hard work and he dies from intestinal shredding even if he manages to get off that spike - which he shouldn't be able to do if you can drop the floor around the spike enough.

>>273898
... wouldn't now be a good time to tell him that the golem is gonna open up the jail?

Blow a fireball into his damned eyeball already!

He'll be completely helpless if he's blind.

vulnerable juicy eye.

Before you strike take a moment to think.
This guy isn't just some pawn standing between you and your objective.
Not only your fate hangs in the balance, but the prisoners as well.
Use your scarf to grab his cleaver
If your strong enough to yank it free do so
If not he will more than likely attempt to yank you towards him.
But you'll be ready dodge his attack plant your palm firmly on his forehead then send as many volts as you can surging through that pee sized brain and on fire him.

Eyeball. Throwing dagger or icicle.

>>273958
Sounds viable. But it has to be done fast.

Rynh 2011/01/23(Sun)13:16 No. 274048 ID: 8c0848
File 129581736385.png - (306.40KB , 1024x768 , 460.png )

>Blow a fireball into his damned eyeball already!
Blasting fire out of my mouth seems to catch him off guard and he shifts off balance and begins to slide. "You little bitch!", he screams, flailing wildly.

Now, I could try stabbing him in the eye, but it's kind of a small part of a moving target or I could try something else.

>>274048
He's off balance and on ice! Legswipe him! Or just grab the leg currently in the air and push.

>>274048
Rock spike up the ass!

>>274053
>>274051
Combo. Either skewer him once he falls, or make him fall backwards onto a bunch of spikes.
Or have him sink into the floor or something.

>>274055
>Or have him sink into the floor or something.
Transmute Rock to Mud is a classic. And it would probably keep him down for quite a while, if you can get enough mud made- possibly even long enough to let all the prisoners loose.

Push him backwards onto ONE rock spike.

Concentrate force on one area. That's why spears have one tip instead of 30.

Jam that sword up through his 'pants'.

Sharp rock magic to the face! Aim for his eye, if it takes it out then great, otherwise pummel him with more and it should be enough to knock him backwards where you can more easily skewer his eye and skull.

>>274066
This

>>274066
This.

>>274066
Agreed.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

Rynh 2011/01/24(Mon)19:04 No. 274552 ID: 8c0848
File 129592469488.png - (193.65KB , 1024x768 , 461.png )

I probably can't cast magic while shoving him over, but I can stab him while I push him over, so that's almost as good.
He drops the cleaver and grabs me by the throat, so now he slipping, sliding, strangling me, possibly falling and I really want to stab out that fucking eye!

firebreath double trouble

>>274552
J-J-JAM IT IN! Charge your sword with lightning as well! Fry him from the inside out!

>>274552
>I really want to stab out that fucking eye!
Then do. Thrust through it with all your strength.

>>274552
He's strangling you? Polymorph into something that can't be strangled. Like a rock golem.

Hey waitaminute! Did he just call you a bitch? Even through all the stabbing and jumping around he can tell you are a lady, Rynh! That other dude must have just been an idiot.

Stab the eye and then channel lightning into it.

>>274552
Ram the whole sword inside and pop that eye! Make sure to twist the blade and turn his brains into a messy pile of gooey gray matter!!
FUCK THAT SHIT UP!!

>>274610
then send some lighting through it. I want him 5 ways dead yesterday.

>>274552
Polymorph into gelatinous slime
advicewizard.jpg
Eat his face

>>274552
If you can't get it into his eye, shove it up his nose. apply metal to his brain. If he somehow survives THAT, shock the sword.

Rynh 2011/01/26(Wed)16:17 No. 275013 ID: 8c0848
File 129608742791.png - (269.79KB , 1024x768 , 462.png )

We fall and I jam my sword right into his eye. My full weight shoves it into the socket when he falls on his back and there's a loud crunch as it shatters through his skull. He his arm flops limply to the floor and I can breath again.

>>275013
Well. That worked out well.

Take a minute to catch your breath, then go get the keys to those cells. While you're doing that, might consider asking the inmates if any of them know how to blow up that golem because it seems that, against all odds, explosives have failed you.

>>275013
Mix his brain so he can't be faking it, then go get those prisoners outta here.

>>275013
Take no chances, fry his brain with lightning.

Then open the cells and tell them they are on their own before leaving.

Look at his body twitch horrifically a moment longer to savor the trauma that will eventually build up and ruin you at a later time.

Save your energy.

Nothing can fake that.

Catch your breath for awhile (keep your eye on him to satisfy all the paranoid people) then release the prisoners.

Make sure they know who you are.

Eat the corpse

Release the prisoners

>>275020
This.

>>275013
Check the other eye socket. Even for an ogre he seemed incredibly tough, maybe he had a bit of magical aid?

Remember: you're in a hurry to escape. Release the prisoners and get the heck out of here.

Check under the eyepatch quickly, then go get the keys and release dem prisoners.

Rynh 2011/01/28(Fri)21:13 No. 275874 ID: 8c0848
File 129627801475.png - (224.54KB , 1024x768 , 463.png )

>Release the prisoners
I unlock the cells, then make a break for it out of here. The whole place is shaking apart and I'm getting out. The prisoners and other people in there are all pouring out, trying to escape the exploding golem parts and huge falling rocks.
I'm going home and getting paid my fee of a lot of money. I'm tired of being punched by huge guys.

>>275874
Where the hell did you put the GIANT RUBY?

Pockets of holding or something?

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Return to base for debriefing.

>>275877
well uh... yeah essentially, though it's more of a bag than a pocket.

>>275874
Ok. Go debrief your employer, get paid, and debrief Jehral.
Remember, you promised!

>>275885
seconded. now. do it.

>>275885
thirded.
And you ain't getting out of it.

>>275874
If I might make a suggestion, you could probably convince any of the prisoners with friends and/or wealth to pay you an escort fee for seeing them to safety. Never pass up the opportunity to get paid for something that you were going to do anyway, like walk to the nearest city.

>>275874
Time to use your completely unused shapeshifting. Make yourself look human for the trip away from that place. Put a nice, big gap in the sightings of you between the fortress and your pay.

>>275931
This. Never pass up the opportunity to be paid twice.

Plus hanging around to make sure the golem really is crushed is a good idea to avoid pissed-off bounty posters.

>>275874
Go get paid, stash away most of the cash and the huge jem. Then party like fucking hell. You deserve it for making it out alive.

Rynh 2011/01/29(Sat)08:23 No. 276002 ID: 8c0848
File 129631820816.png - (226.07KB , 1024x768 , 464.png )

>Return to base for debriefing.
Right. Time to get paid absurd amounts of money. That's my favorite part.

>you could probably convince any of the prisoners with friends and/or wealth to pay you an escort fee for seeing them to safety.
Wandering around inside the territory of the people who own the golem I just wrecked might be more dangerous than it's worth. I'm getting out of here.

>hanging around to make sure the golem really is crushed is a good idea to avoid pissed-off bounty posters.

It's burning and the whole mountain is caving in on it. If I'm going to wait, it had better hurry up and destroy itself.

>Go get paid, stash away most of the cash and the huge jem. Then party like fucking hell. You deserve it for making it out alive.

Yes. Yes I do.

Maybe you should stay in another shapeshifted form in the mean time. You're going to be a very wanted person in these parts.

>>276002
How about a dolphin, dolphins are fun
and you can swim away just like how you swam in.

>>276011
I think you mean a SHARKGIRL

>>276017

I agree with this. No one would dare touch a shark girl.

Rynh 2011/01/29(Sat)09:31 No. 276026 ID: 8c0848
File 129632229334.png - (359.99KB , 1024x768 , 465.png )

Getting home is no problem. I'm just glad that's over and I can focus on more important things, like what I'm going to do with all that mon- KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHOOOOOOOOOOOM!-EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!~

HOLY SHIT!

>>276026
NEW PLAN: DO OLD PLAN FASTER!

>>276026
>EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!~

SHIT, YOU'RE BEING ATTACKED BY A MEGAFONZIE!
GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!

Who knew putting a bunch of souls into a golem would make it VIOLENTLY EXPLOSIVE?

In other news, watch out for falling debris. THere's no way of knowing how high those rocks were launched. Get moving!

>>276048
OH SHIT RUN RUN RUN

>>276026
Somehow I expected this to happen. Oh well. Probably means that whatever was left is now made of burnt. And tidbits.

Hey, think that other gem is still there?

Rynh 2011/01/29(Sat)14:22 No. 276138 ID: 8c0848
File 129633973445.png - (355.25KB , 1024x768 , 466.png )

>OH SHIT RUN RUN RUN
OH SHIT! Go go go! Shit is falling from the sky! But I'm rich and have a giant ruby! Hahaha!

I'm getting out of here...

>>276138
Cool people WALK away from explosions...