Finding a wizard is top priority, ask him where you can find a wizard

Wizards tend towards higher mental capacity, ask for the location of a wizard, then proceed to ignore the humanoid after recieving answer.

Suggestion 2010/10/21(Thu)12:59 No. 246646 ID: f82d85
File 128769117357.png - (9.27KB , 800x600 , 19.png )

>>246619 >>246633 >>246640

"REVEAL THE LOCATION OF A WIZARD SMALL HUMANOID."

>"How come mister?"

"I WILL ANNIHILATE YOU IF YOU DO NOT."

>"Cor! Well, there's Alfgar I guess! He's at the tower with the round windows down at the end of the street! Goodbye!"

SUPPOSED COORDINATES OF 'WIZARD' CONFIRMED. QUERY: OBSTRUCTION GUARDING TOWER ENTRANCE SHOULD BE DESTROYED?

NEGATIVE. Knock non-destructively upon surface.

>>246646
NEGATIVE: BARRIER PREVENTS UNDESIRED CONTAMINATION OF LIVING QUARTERS. STRIKE SURFACE NON-DESTRUCTIVELY TO CALL ATTENTION TO INHABITANTS AND REQUEST ENTRANCE.

Suggestion 2010/10/21(Thu)14:49 No. 246672 ID: f82d85
File 128769778167.png - (12.14KB , 800x600 , 20.png )

>>246647 >>246652

KNOCKING ACHIEVED. SCANS INDICATE HUMANOID WITH HIGH MENTAL CAPACITY.

>"Hello there, sonny. How can I help you?"

"ENTRANCE REQUESTED."

>"Oh? Well I don't like letting people in without knowing who they are. I'm Alfgar, the Equestrian Wizard. And you are?"

state designation number.

DESIGNATE SELF AS ROBOT AND DEMAND EXPLANATION OF MAGIC SCARECROW AND ACTIVATE ROCKET BOOTS IF INFORMATION IS UNSATISFACTORY TO FLY OVER WALL.

>>246672
"MAGIC DOES NOT COMPUTE. THIS UNIT REQUESTS AN EXPLANATION."

also state THIS UNIT ALSO REQUIRES A VASCULAR ORGAN OF ORGANIC NATURE.

Suggestion 2010/10/21(Thu)21:42 No. 246755 ID: f82d85
File 128772256234.png - (13.35KB , 800x600 , 21.png )

>>246673 >>246681 >>246676 >>246707

"I AM A ROBOT. MAGIC DOES NOT COMPUTE, THIS NECESSITATES EXPLANATION. THIS UNIT REQUIRES A VASCULAR ORGAN OF ORGANIC NATURE. IF SATISFACTORY RESPONSE IS NOT GIVEN ROCKET BOOTS WILL BE ACTIVATED."

>"My, quite a mouthful. Please, come into my parlor. I can see I will have to explain a lot. Well, magic is basically the life energy of the planet. Using certain words and items of power, we mortals can conjure forth effects that would otherwise be impossible. That's really the long and short of it. As for a heart, I don't really keep that sort of thing around. I can't help you much there. You new around here? What sort of thing is a 'robot' anyhow?"

PROCESSING CONCEPT 'MAGIC'. LOGIC CIRCUITS EXPERIENCING TROUBLE COMPENSATING.

calculating.... magic appears to be a phenomenon where certain vocal vibrational frequencies cause effects to occur. standard cause and effect reactions.

explain that you are a robot, closest magical counterpart is a golem, but you were made and run on SCIENCE rather then magic.

>>246755
Ah, we know the answer to this question well. Enlighten mister horse on what a ROBOT is.

Ask for a sample display of MAGIC to contextualize what he said.

>>246755
Ask for instruction on how to use this MAGIC. Attempt to use it yourself.

Suggestion 2010/10/21(Thu)23:21 No. 246770 ID: f82d85
File 128772847335.png - (16.78KB , 800x600 , 22.png )

>>246756 >>246757 >>246759

"I AM A CONSTRUCT OF TECHNOLOGY, THE PINNACLE OF THE SENTIENT MIND. NO PART OF MY SYSTEMS IS POWERED BY WEAK FLESH. I AM LIKE YOUR GOLEMS, THOUGH MUCH MORE ADVANCED. I REQUIRE A SAMPLE OF THIS 'MAGIC' FOR MYSELF. MY CIRCUITS CANNOT COMPUTE."

>"Very well then... you want to see some magic? Here you go!"

HUMANOID IS REFRACTING NON-EXISTENT LIGHT, AS IN A PRISM. CIRCUITS ESTIMATE USEFULNESS OF THIS ATTRIBUTE AT 3%.

"I WISH TO ACQUIRE ALL KNOWLEDGE PERTINENT TO 'MAGIC'."

>"You might be in trouble there. Golem's are usually built so they can't learn magic. Also, it's impossible to cast spells if you don't got a soul. I can let you read a book, but I don't think you can cast spells or anything."

SOUL DOES NOT COMPUTE.

>>246770
INQUIRE ABOUT THE OBJECT KNOWN AS "SOUL."

NEW OBJECTIVE: ACQUIRE SOUL.

>>246771
YES

ACQUIRE SOUL

REACH NEW CONCLUSION: The nearby hat is source of Wizards power, demand hat.

New top priority: Gain soul

Nearest creature verified to possess "soul" is wizard. Acquire wizard's soul.

SOUL CANNOT BE HARVESTED WITHOUT AID OF "MAGIC".

ALSO, WIZARD IS USING MAGIC WITHOUT HAT, IGNORE HAT GATHERING ORDER.

... WE are your soul. You're the pinnacle of technology, getting orders from your artificial soul. Ask to read the book, we'll take care of the magic.

>>246770
Ask esquestrian mage if you may analyze the pointy hat. Inquire if the pointy hat is a soul.

If allowed, attempt to wear pointy hat. Perhaps it is a soul magnet.

Suggestion 2010/10/22(Fri)18:16 No. 246959 ID: f82d85
File 128779659290.png - (11.62KB , 800x600 , 23.png )

>>246776 >>246813 >>246841 >>246771

SCANS INDICATE ALL ORGANS NORMALLY FOUND IN SENTIENT MAMMALS. NO UNKNOWN ORGANS FOUND THAT COULD BE CLASSIFIED AS 'SOUL'.

>>246883 >>246778

HAT ACQUIRED. SYSTEM DIAGNOSIS DOES NOT INDICATE CHANGE TO INTERNAL SYSTEMS.

>>246959
This equestrian unit has offered to provide you with literature on this phenomenon. Accept its wizardly offer.

find books, read them and absorb their knowledge.

>>246983

The equestrian unit is currently smeared all over that chassis.

SENSOR ANALYSIS DETECTS NO OBJECT THAT CAN BE IDENTIFIED AS "SOUL".

CONCLUSION: SOUL IS NON-EXISTENT. CEASE ALL SOUL RELATED ACTIVITY AND DETERMINE MAGIC EFFECTS BY ANALYZING THE POPULOUS.

This quest needs to update again.

>>247185

This.

Suggestion 2010/10/26(Tue)22:31 No. 248760 ID: f82d85
File 128815746366.png - (11.33KB , 800x600 , 24.png )

>>246983 >>246984

LITERATURE IS IN UNKNOWN LANGUAGE. INFORMATION WILL TAKE TIME TO PROCESS. WORKING.

>>247185 >>248623

WORKING. POPULATION THOROUGHLY SCANNED. NO 'SOUL' DETECTED. ALL ORGANS FALL WITHIN NORMAL PARAMETERS.

TRANSLATION OF LITERATURE COMPLETE. DATA SAVED. SYSTEM DIAGNOSIS DOES NOT INDICATE CHANGE TO INTERNAL SYSTEMS.

ENTER A COMMAND.

attempt to use 'magic'.
start with example Alfgar, the Equestrian Wizard showed you, cause a refraction effect where no prism is present.

>>248760
how about trying to use a spell as described by the book?

do you know how "magic" works?

anyway what are your objectives? why do you need to fulfill them?

>>248760
Oh, whoops. Better find the next city then.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/11/06(Sat)14:41 No. 253255 ID: f82d85
File 128907970893.png - (12.37KB , 800x600 , 25.png )

>>248763

ATTEMPT FAILED.

>>248764

MY MEMORY SYSTEM HAS ALL PROVIDED INFORMATION ON MAGIC.

I AM A ROBOT, BUILT TO SERVE.

ENTER A COMMAND.

>>248766

SCANNERS INDICATE NEAREST POPULATION ZONE: 87.6 MILES DISTANCE.

SENSORS INDICATE LARGE, INEFFICIENT FLYING CONTRAPTION, AS WELL AS SENTIENT CREATURE COVERED IN INEFFICIENT ARMOR.

>"Hey, you! We're the Evil Dark Empire! We came here to, like, conquer it and all! Where do you get off murdering everyone like that? That's not how the evil game is played, buddy! If you kill everything there's nothing to rape or burn or sacrifice! Now listen. I'm not saying I'm not impressed. I am. I mean, you got style and all. I like how you don't mind being covered in the blood of hundreds. Just join us, and this little mishap will all be forgotten. If you don't... well, you got a problem."

EXAMINE FOR SOUL Y/N

Y. A thousand times Y.

>>253255
Perhaps SOUL requires biological function to maintain. Preserve the organic's life functions during search.

wrong time to do that. examine for soul!

>>253267
This all of the times.

Examine for soul while preserving biological functions and inquiring as to what a soul is and how such a thing can be inserted into our body.

>>253267
This is very true. Perhaps these 'souls' are like 'metabolism' and refer to an ongoing biological process. Experimentation required.

Inform the being in insufficient armour that you will join him in exchange for a soul.

Suggestion 2010/11/13(Sat)23:58 No. 256194 ID: f82d85
File 128972152655.png - (66.04KB , 800x600 , 26.png )

>"Hey, what are you- AHHHHH MY LEGS! AHHHHHHH!!!!"

EXAMINING BODY FOR SOUL WHILE MAINTAINING ACCEPTABLE LEVELS OF LIFE. REMOVAL OF APPENDAGES ACHIEVED. LOGIC CIRCUITS UNABLE TO CONSTRUCT SCENARIO WHERE TORSO OR CRANIUM SEARCH CAN BE CONDUCTED EASILY WITH LIFE FUNCTIONS INTACT.

>"Jesus, Commander! You son of a bitch! You know what you've done? We're gonna kill you, you son of a bitch! Men, descend! We're gonna wipe this bastard off the face of the planet!"

INCOMING HOSTILE SENTIENT HUMANOIDS. LEVEL OF THREAT: 0.01%. ENTER A COMMAND.

Laser the blimp

>>256197
This. Then use your SPIN ATTACK to finish off the rest.

Shoot the blimp and tell them to "SURRENDER OR BE ELIMINATED" then instruct them to aid you in your search for a soul.

Use your ROKKIT BOOTS to do a ROBO LASER PUNCH on the blimp, exploding it. Then we must interrogate the survivors.

>>256225
This.

Suggestion 2010/11/16(Tue)22:30 No. 257339 ID: f82d85
File 128997543145.png - (58.30KB , 800x600 , 27.png )

>>256225 >>257325

ROCKET BOOTS ACTIVATE. PREPARING SUPER ROBOT PUNCH.

Suggestion 2010/11/16(Tue)22:32 No. 257342 ID: f82d85
File 128997554563.png - (96.20KB , 800x600 , 28.png )

>>257339

PUNCH SUCCESSFUL. ALTITUDE: ACCEPTABLE. ACTIVATING EYE LASERS, 20% MAXIMUM POWER.


"SURRENDER OR BE ELIMINATED"

NO DIRECT RESPONSE TO DEMAND CONFIRMED. PLEASE ENTER A COMMAND.

Search craft for survivors.

>>257389
Interrogate them as to the location of JAMES BROWN.

Crash blimp slowly to the ground. Interrogate each individual as to its most important piece of information it knows. If the information in irrelevant, execute the party. You need some knowledge pretty quick.

Suggestion 2010/11/19(Fri)22:13 No. 258248 ID: f82d85
File 129023361695.png - (124.14KB , 800x600 , 29.png )

>>257389

AIRCRAFT: CRASHED. SCANNING FOR SURVIVORS...

ONE LIFEFORM DETECTED.

OBTAINED LIFEFORM.

>"K... k... kill... m.... me..."

>>257394 >>257424

"REVEAL THE LOCATION OF JAMES BROWN."

>"G... gah..."

"DIVULGE YOUR MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION."

>"T... the dark god Darklor... will see your... soul torn asunder..."

INFORMATION SUFFICIENT Y/N

>>258248
Open cranial cavity. Scan for information.

IT SEEMS THIS DARKLOR INDIVIDUAL HAS VITAL INFORMATION CONCERNING SOULS

Request current location of Darklor

Suggestion 2011/03/16(Wed)21:15 No. 288836 ID: f82d85
File 13003353064.png - (21.22KB , 800x600 , 30.png )

>>258257

CRANIAL CAVITY OPENED. SCANS COMPLETE. NO ADDITIONAL INFORMATION FOUND.

>>258274 >>258285

FURTHER INTERROGATION IMPOSSIBLE. LIFE SIGNS NEGATIVE.

SCAN FOR NEXT LARGEST POPULATION CENTER Y/N?

>>288836
Retrieve unicorn horn. Historical records indicate unicorns have a high level of magic concentrated in the horn.

Y. Gotta find where magic comes from!

Can you track the path of the airship? If so, you should follow it toward a source.

Suggestion 2011/03/18(Fri)07:16 No. 289136 ID: 2044df
File 130045777510.png - (18.54KB , 800x600 , 31.png )

>>288850

EARLIER SCANS INDICATED NO PRESENCE OF ANY ANOMALOUS READINGS. LOGIC DICTATES THEY WILL NOT BE ANY DIFFERENT IF SCANNED AGAIN.

>>288931

SCANNING PATH OF AIRSHIP. WORKING... MOVING TO MAINTAIN VISUAL LINK WITH SOURCE. ROCKET BOOTS ACTIVATE.

SOURCE OF AIRSHIP CONFIRMED AS MOUNTAIN TO THE SOUTH, APPROXIMATELY 15 MILES.

>>288927

SCANNING. NEAREST POPULATION CENTER DETERMINED AS MOUNTAIN TO THE SOUTH, APPROXIMATELY 15 MILES.

Advance towards mountain at full speed.

Advance THROUGH mountain at full speed.

Advance into mountain at max speed using eye lasers and drill fist

Advance to mountain, destruction optional.

Suggestion 2011/03/25(Fri)22:14 No. 290878 ID: f82d85
File 130111644286.png - (14.99KB , 800x600 , 32.png )

>>289151 >>289165 >>289175 >>289313

CONSIDERING OPTIONS...

VIOLENCE PREFERRED,

ROCKET BOOTS ACTIVATE.

Suggestion 2011/03/25(Fri)22:14 No. 290879 ID: f82d85
File 130111647478.png - (181.62KB , 800x600 , 33.png )

ACTIVATING EYE LASERS, 100% MAXIMUM POWER

Suggestion 2011/03/25(Fri)22:15 No. 290880 ID: f82d85
File 130111650841.png - (9.83KB , 800x600 , 34.png )

TARGET ELIMINATED.

ENTER A COMMAND.

Investigate rubble.

Scan rubble for 'soul'

Suggestion 2011/05/16(Mon)19:58 No. 304686 ID: 7aa61c
File 130560108731.png - (75.89KB , 800x600 , 35.png )

SCANNING... ANOMALOUS READINGS DETECTED. HOMING IN ON ENERGY SOURCE. READINGS APPEAR TO BE EMANATING FROM STRANGE PROJECTION COMING OUT OF THE EARTH.

>"You... you total dickhead! You did this, didn't you?! I am the great god DARKLOR!!! The destruction of my physical body is merely a temporary setback! Know well that I shall find you and everything you love and see them destroyed! Do you understand me?!"

SUBJECT APPEARS IRRATIONAL.

REPLY: "LOVE IS IRRATIONAL AND SO ARE YOU"

>>304687
ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE,
LOVE IS IRRATIONAL AND SO ARE YOU

I wonder if this is a soul.

>>304686
This appears to be a soul. Say >>304690 and then ASSIMILATE. Try to capture it in a jar or something, it appears to be gaseous.

Note that acquisition of ability to use magic is our current objective, and that this being is standing in our way of acquiring all the magic. Then capture it using a jar.

>>304701
if its gaseous then you should lower the tempurature to make it condensate and then capture the liquid "soul" in a jar for further investigation.

INQUIRE AS TO THE NATURE OF THE SO CALLED "SOUL".

Dude, that's totally a Soul.
Can you vacuum that shit up?!

LOVE DOES NOT COMPUTE.
QUERY:WHAT IS A GOD?

Suggestion 2011/07/17(Sun)18:11 No. 327303 ID: 832169
File 131095146895.png - (104.99KB , 800x600 , 36.png )

>>304993

GODS ARE IRRATIONAL. RELIGION IS IRRATIONAL.

"ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE,
LOVE IS IRRATIONAL AND SO ARE YOU.
LOVE DOES NOT COMPUTE.
ARE YOU AN OBJECT DESIGNATED 'SOUL'?"

NO VACUUMING DEVICE IS AVAILABLE. THIS UNIT CONTAINS NO DEVICE DESIGNED FOR REDUCING TEMPERATURE. ATTEMPTING TO CONSTRAIN TARGET.

>"You're just some sort of stupid automaton, aren't you? One of the city states must have been fearing my might and built you, eh? And for your information, yes, I am indeed a fragment of soul. You'll have no luck in just grabbing me you foolish creature. We'll see how your masters like it when I burn their cities to the ground and SALT the very earth they protect!"

TARGET IS STILL IRRATIONAL. TARGET ALSO APPEARS UNTOUCHABLE. PLEASE ENTER A COMMAND.

Stand in him. Souls belong on the inside of bodies, don't they?

Fire TRACTOR BEAM. Or better yet, open your circuit boards and walk into him. See if you can absorb him like that.

No one is better than you at destroying shit and salting the ground. Prove it by destroying the shit out of some stuff.

>>327303
Tell him to combine with you and that he will become more powerful than he can possibly imagine.

see what happens if you run electricity though the target.

You require object soul.
Target requires object body.

Inform target that you are a body.

Inquire as to optimal means for capturing SOULS.

Suggestion 2012/04/26(Thu)23:27 No. 405131 ID: 832169
File 133550803970.png - (113.20KB , 800x600 , 37.png )

"I AM A BODY, YOU ARE A SOUL. I REQUIRE A SOUL. PLEASE ENTER."

>"What? I, in control of that body? why, I'll be unstoppable! I don't know what sort of stupid creation you are, but I'll gladly take over this power you wield!"

WARNING, APPARITION PASSING OUTER DEFENSES. NEARING POWER SOURCE.

>"Wait... what's happening?! No... NO!"

Suggestion 2012/04/26(Thu)23:28 No. 405132 ID: 832169
File 133550808705.png - (9.80KB , 800x600 , 38.png )

APPARITION HAS CEASED TO BE UPON CONTACT WITH POWER SOURCE. POWER SOURCE WORKING AT 100% EFFICIENCY.

ENTER A COMMAND

soul obtained, try magic once more.

break dance

>>405132
Analyze power source.

>>405133

INCORRECT. FRAGMENT OF SOUL OBTAINED. CHANCE OF ANY ATTEMPT AT "MAGIC" WILL FAIL OR BE INSUFFICIENTLY POWERFUL ENOUGH TO BE USEFUL HIGH.

PERFORM COMMAND >>405135. GATHER DATA TO IDENTIFY AND DETECT SIMILAR READINGS TO APPARITION THEN FIND AND ABSORB. IN THE EVENT OF LACK OF NEW DATA, SCAN FOR NEAREST POPULATION CENTER. EXTRACT INFORMATION FROM LOCAL RESIDENTS. IN THE EVENT OF LACK OF COOPERATION FROM LOCAL POPULACE. THREATEN TO ANNIHILATE. IN THE EVENT OF NO USEFUL INFORMATION GIVEN AFTER 2.5 SECONDS AFTER WARNING, ANNIHILATE.

souls are irrational as fuck. you don't need that shit.

>>405141
give them at least 2.5 hours. organics take a while to react to things.

Obviously you are now magical. Mission complete.

Suggestion 2012/11/21(Wed)09:22 No. 473462 ID: 28ea8b
File 135351854411.jpg - (25.23KB , 683x384 , 39.jpg )

SCANNING FOR MAGIC... MAGIC NOT FOUND.

MAGIC HAS BEEN DETERMINED TO BE ANYTHING WHICH DOES NOT REGISTER ON SENSORS. NOTHING WHICH DOES NOT APPEAR ON SENSORS HAS BEEN DETECTED WITH SENSORS.

...ERROR.

NEAREST POPULATION OF HUMAN-LIKE CREATURES IS APPROXIMATELY 200 MILES FROM THIS LOCATION.

>>473462
MOVE TOWARD HUMANOID POPULATION. EXTRACT INFORMATION PERTAINING TO ACTIVATION OF "MAGIC".

REALIZE THAT THE MAGIC WAS INSIDE YOU ALL ALONG. RECALIBRATE SENSORS. MOVE TO NEAREST SIGNIFICANT POPULATION CENTRE IN ORDER TO EXTRACT FURTHER KNOWLEDGE OF MAGIC FROM OTHER WIZARDS.