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File 145467971450.jpg - (68.53KB , 650x600 , AMHQ001.jpg )
699195 No. 699195 ID: 6a4605

Deathknight: "FOOLISH MORTAL! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ENTER THE LAIR OF THE GREAT MAGICIAN KONDA UNPUNISHED? YOUR SOUL SHALL FEED THE
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No. 699196 ID: 6a4605
File 145467981589.jpg - (73.19KB , 650x600 , AMHQ002.jpg )
699196

"OUT OF MY WAY UNHOLY ABOMINATION!"

Deathknight: "OUCH! R-RUDE I W-WASN'T FINISHED T-TAlkin..
>>
No. 699197 ID: 6a4605
File 145467989821.jpg - (72.90KB , 600x660 , AMHQ003.jpg )
699197

"I HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE WITH UNSIGNIFICANT THREATS LIKE YOU. FOR I AM ON..."
>>
No. 699198 ID: 6a4605
File 145467992058.jpg - (104.25KB , 800x950 , AMHQ004.jpg )
699198

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No. 699199 ID: 6a4605
File 145468002122.jpg - (65.08KB , 600x600 , AMHQ005.jpg )
699199

HERE IT IS, KONDA'S THRONE ROOM !

"FACE ME, YOU MONSTROUS NECROMANCER! FOR I AM HERE FOR
>>
No. 699200 ID: 6a4605
File 145468012569.jpg - (69.96KB , 800x600 , AMHQ006.jpg )
699200

YOU..."

OK THIS IS HIGHLY UNPROFESSIONAL. THERE IS NO ONE HERE.

IT'S EMPTY.

WAIT... MAYBE NOT. I CAN CLEARLY HEAR VOICES COMING FROM THE TAPESTRY ON THE LEFT.

A TRAP PERHAPS?
>>
No. 699202 ID: 3663d3

slash down the tapestry, aim high, and dodge out of the way after the slash. examine aftermath.
>>
No. 699203 ID: 2ccbb3

Check inventory. If you have a ranged weapon, pelt the curtain.
>>
No. 699209 ID: 799984

It's definitely a trap. The throne is the necromancer, cleverly disguised. Destroy it.
>>
No. 699212 ID: 5ea852

Plunge your sword through the highest skull on the throne. Tis most suspicious.

Then carefully look behind the tapestry. It might be a ruse for you to harm a kidnapped princess or whatnot.
>>
No. 699214 ID: 3d2d5f

>>699200
Sit in the throne, wait patently for the necromancer to arrive. They must be late!

Leave the voices alone, eavesdropping is rude.
>>
No. 699221 ID: 6a4605
File 145469707082.jpg - (66.00KB , 700x600 , AMHQ007.jpg )
699221

MMMH THE THRONE MIGHT BE THE ACTUAL TRAP THEN.

BETTER SMASH IT!

MH. IT WAS JUSTA THRONE. AN EVIL THRONE. NO REGRETS.
>>
No. 699223 ID: 6a4605
File 145469712821.jpg - (84.78KB , 850x600 , AMHQ008.jpg )
699223

BUT THEN MAYBE THE TRAP IS ACTUALLY BEHIND THE CURTAINS!

AH-HAH!

NO... BUT THERE IS A DOOR BEHIND THE CURTAINS.

LET'S SEE WHAT'S BEHIND IT.
>>
No. 699224 ID: 6a4605
File 145469717849.jpg - (79.94KB , 800x600 , AMHQ009.jpg )
699224

...
>>
No. 699225 ID: 6a4605
File 145469722152.jpg - (61.45KB , 680x600 , AMHQ010.jpg )
699225

Konda: "Hah! This show is the best. Hahahahahah!"
>>
No. 699226 ID: 6a4605
File 145469731144.jpg - (89.95KB , 680x600 , AMHQ011.jpg )
699226

Konda: "Uh?"

"..."

Konda: "Fpt! Oh crap! Was the dungeon raid today?"

HIGHLY UNPROFESSIONAL...
>>
No. 699228 ID: 1b7025

>>699226

YES. IT WAS.

The code of holy honor permits you TEN MINUTES TO CLEAN UP AND GET READY TO FACE YOUR RIGHTEOUS JUDGEME- are those dirty clothes in the background. HAVE YOU NOT EVEN DONE YOUR LAUNDRY YOU FIEND?

Listen lady we are a MOST PROFESSIONAL HOLY WARRIOR, we have seen a LOT of evil lairs and so far this is coming in at a very lowly TWO OUT OF FIVE STARS, which you have only received for having a nice evil throne room and a pretty cool minion. And the way things are going you are going to slip down to one star, much less manage to climb up! Nither of us are going to get tales of our villainy/righteousness spread across the land, this way.

How long have you been doing this?
>>
No. 699229 ID: dfa8bc

OH FOR THE LOVE OF THING.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHILE YOU GET READY, LOOT THE PLACE BEFORE I'VE DEFEATED YOU? THAT'S LIKE EATING DESERT BEFORE DINNER.
>>
No. 699230 ID: 5ad4a7

>>699226
Tell her you're going to have to give her a bad review on Dungeon Seekers.
>>
No. 699231 ID: 3d2d5f

>>699226
Yes.

Do I need to reschedule, or do you have a boss prepared?
>>
No. 699238 ID: 3009b4

Ask her on a date.
>>
No. 699246 ID: 5ea852

Realise that she is still in her night gown. As a man of holiness, avert your gaze to preserve your honour and avoid uncomfortable contact with your armour.
>>
No. 699248 ID: f56624

>>699224
Wait, is that Tale of an Original Revenge? That show's great.
Honor arbitrarily restored, that shit's great
>>
No. 699249 ID: 6a4605
File 145470449784.jpg - (72.16KB , 800x525 , AMHQ012.jpg )
699249

"YOU WERE EXPECTING ME?"

Konda: "W-well yeah, i have a bit of knowledge about divination. I use it to know when someone is going to come here to see m

"AND YOU ARE STILL HERE IN THIS ROOM? EATING? WAIT- ARE THOSE DIRTY CLOTHES ON THE GROUND?!

Konda: "I'M SORRY I'M SORRY! T-there was a marathon of my favourite show on the spherevision and i lost track of the time!"

"THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE!"

Konda: "I know! I know! L-listen i can still fix this. C-can you go back in the other room and give me five minutes?"

"WAIT YOU MEAN YOU ARE STILL IN YOUR NIGHTGOWN"

Konda: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

"FINE! FINE!"
>>
No. 699250 ID: 6a4605
File 145470469899.jpg - (52.39KB , 500x800 , AMHQ013.jpg )
699250

UN-HOLY-BELIEVABLE!

IT'S NOT LIKE I'M BUSY? THIS IS LITTERALLY ONLY THE FIRST STEP IN MY QUEST IN THE MONSTERLANDS AND I HAD TO WAIT WAY TOO LONG ALREADY TO START IT!

TCH!
>>
No. 699251 ID: 6a4605
File 145470489259.jpg - (60.75KB , 600x770 , AMHQ014.jpg )
699251

Konda: "Greetings, mortal"

"THERE YOU ARE!"

Konda: "I-uh. yes. Ah-hem. G-GREETINGS MORTAL! I AM THE GREAT SORCERESS KONDA! YOU CAME HERE TO SEEK MY DOOM OR MY AID?"

"..."

Konda: "Uuuh..."

"AID, I GUESS!"

Konda: "Alright, good. I mean... I see! Let me sit on my throne so we can discuss the conditions!"
>>
No. 699252 ID: 6a4605
File 145470516871.jpg - (61.38KB , 650x600 , AMHQ015.jpg )
699252

Konda: "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY THRONE!"

"I THOUGHT IT WAS A TRAP AND DEALT WITH IT!"

Konda: "Oh noo... i haven't finished paying that yet..."

"SO ABOUT THOSE CONDITIONS?"

Konda: "EH? Oh, yes right! If you wish my aid, you need to prove yourself. You'll face my DEATHKNIGHT and if you manage to defeat you i will grant you my help! But beware! No one has ever defeated him!"
>>
No. 699253 ID: 945fb0

ALREADY DONE!
>>
No. 699254 ID: defceb

Been there done that.

Aid request: snake booty. Get on that, paladin.
>>
No. 699259 ID: f6442a

>if you manage to defeat you i will grant you my help!

SO BE IT!

Begin punching yourself in the face repeatedly.
>>
No. 699260 ID: 48e5d9

Ask why you should preform such a task for someone who just sits around in a nightgown eating and watching TV all day
>>
No. 699268 ID: 5ea852

Wait, since when do men of holiness seek aid from serpentine temptresses who have skull ornaments?

Inform her that her deathknight IS ALREADY DEAD.
>>
No. 699274 ID: 5ad4a7

>>699252
>AID I GUESS
Erm... what was your quest exactly? It sounded like you were here to fight her.
>>
No. 699285 ID: 6a4605
File 145470881875.jpg - (51.37KB , 800x520 , AMHQ016.jpg )
699285

"YOU MEAN THE SKELETAL GUY WITH THE FLAMING EYES AND THE BARDICHE?"

Konda: "Uh... Yeah?"

"I DESTROYED HIM BEFORE GETTING IN THE THRONE ROOM."

Konda: "Oh? Okay... So... what do you need exactly?"

"YOUR ASS"
>>
No. 699287 ID: 6a4605
File 145470895783.jpg - (60.06KB , 800x560 , AMHQ017.jpg )
699287

Konda: "WAIT WHAT! T-THAT'S TOO SUDDEN! W-WE BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER!"

"YOUR TAIL WILL BE ENOUGH, DON'T WORRY. I NEED IT FOR MY QUEST"

Konda: "WHAT KIND OF QUEST ARE YOU EVEN ON?!?"
>>
No. 699288 ID: 6a4605
File 145470922366.jpg - (101.66KB , 750x950 , AMHQ018.jpg )
699288

"I CAME HERE IN THE MONSTERLANDS TO SEEK VENGEANCE FOR MY OLDER BROTHER, SIR HUMPREY MCMANHAMMER. HE CAME HERE IN THE MONSTERLANDS SEVEN YEARS AGO AND NEVER RETURNED. I HAVE BEEN TRAINING AND STUDYING THE NOTES THAT HE LEFT HIDDEN UNDER HIS BED. AND IN THOSE NOTES HE SAID 'THE BEHIND OF HALF DEMONS ARE SURELY THE MOST DIVINE. SUCH POWER COULD RAISE AN HOLY LANCE TO THE MIGHTIEST OF POWERS!'. I NEED THAT POWER IF I WANT TO SUCCEED WHERE HE FAILED AND AVENGE HIS DEMISE!"
>>
No. 699289 ID: 6a4605
File 145470951731.jpg - (99.83KB , 800x600 , AMHQ019.jpg )
699289

Konda: "Iiiii... I am kinda sure that's not what he meant with that..."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN! ARE YOU SAYING MY BROTHER'S KNOWLEDGE IS FLAWED?! I WILL LET YOU KNOW THAT HIS NOTE THERE WERE A LOT OF IMAGES ABOUT THE TOPIC AND THEREFORE I'M SURE HE KNEW A LOT ABOUT THE ARGUMENT!"

Konda: "I d-don't doubt that. But i can assure you my... *ah-hem* rear has any power similar to that. Your reading of those notes might have been misdirected."

"CURSES!"

Konda: "B-but you can still ask for something else, no? You did d-defeat my champion after all..."
>>
No. 699290 ID: defceb

godDAMNIT GNUK

Uh

Ask for directions to the cutest of monsters nearby.

Their power is directly proportionate to their attractiveness and surely only the strongest one is responsible for whatever happened to your brother.
>>
No. 699291 ID: ce9fab

She must assist you in completing your brother's quest!
>>
No. 699292 ID: 3663d3

i know! have her send some minions around the monster lands with not asking if anyone knows of your brother. recovering his remains would be a good start for letting him rest in peace.
>>
No. 699293 ID: 5ea852

Ask her to join your quest. Having a native of the monsterlands with you might prove beneficial in your quest and she could take a part of the treasures you stumble upon as a repayment for the damages you caused.

And you're suddenly so adorable.
>>
No. 699297 ID: 5ad4a7

>>699289
Well to take vengeance you need to know where your brother went. You also need more holy power. Does she know where to get some of that?
>>
No. 699298 ID: 6747ae

>>699289
Time to form a party!
Ask her if she has a cute brother we can recruit too.
>>
No. 699302 ID: 1b7025

In that case, we shall ask to explore the depths of your knowledge, if our brother's was flawed! We realize you are a busy person, though, so we shall make this out boon. And since there will likely be much to discuss, we should arrange not to starve ourselves while we speak! When would you be free to have dinner with this most righteous knight? Is there anywhere you'd prefer to go?
>>
No. 699323 ID: 02422f

>>699289
Konda: maybe you need to teach him what was meant by those notes. Do a hands on demonstration.
>>
No. 699331 ID: 99a64d

Maybe she has some magical items of immense strength? Ugh, so unprofessional.
>>
No. 699357 ID: 796324

Ask her to use her divination powers to tell you what happened to your brother.
>>
No. 699424 ID: f6442a

Ask to know where monsters come from. I don't believe master McManhammer has ever had "the talk."
>>
No. 699428 ID: 2ccbb3

Hug her THEN STRANGLE HER UNCONSCIOUS.
>>
No. 699457 ID: a107fd

>>699357
Yeah, you'd be able to avenge him a lot more efficiently if you had any idea at all what actually happened.
>>
No. 699460 ID: fe99a7
File 145475893036.jpg - (60.25KB , 800x550 , AMHQ020.jpg )
699460

"DO YOU HAVE WAYS TO IMPROVE MY POWER AND FIGHTING ABILITIES?"

Konda: "I... no. I don't think i have"

"THEN YOU SHALL JOIN ME IN MY QUEST!"

Konda: "What? N-no! I'm- i'm a busy sorceress!"
>>
No. 699461 ID: fe99a7
File 145475905673.jpg - (103.61KB , 800x550 , AMHQ021.jpg )
699461

"THEN I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO LEAVE A BAD REVIEW ON DUNGEON SEEKER MAGAZINE! AND MAYBE EVEN TELL PEOPLE WHAT A MESS YOU ARE!"

Konda: "OH PLEASE NO! I'LL HELP! I'LL HELP!"
>>
No. 699462 ID: fe99a7
File 145475966877.jpg - (53.29KB , 600x600 , AMHQ022.jpg )
699462

"GOOD. YOU SAID YOU ARE A DIVINER, NO? CAN'T YOU SEE WHO KILLED MY BROTHER? THAT WOULD HELP FOR SURE!"

Konda: "I'm not that good, i know only a couple of spells that i use to know when people are coming over and when it's time to pay the taxes"

"YOU ARE A MESS... WHAT CAN YOU DO?"

Konda: "I can send my minions around to ask if someone knows something about a human knight. It's gonna take a bit i guess."

"SOUNDS FINE BY ME"

Konda: "Ok, i'll instruct my servants right now. The only problem is that you'll have to stay here for a while and... i... don't really have a guest room..."

"..."

Konda: "I-i'll go tell them right now. We'll... figure something later i guess. Make yourself at home."

SHE STORMS OFF, LEAVING ME ALONE IN THE THRONE ROOM.
>>
No. 699463 ID: 796324

Well she told you to make yourself at home. I doubt you wear your armor around the house so change into something more comfortable.
>>
No. 699464 ID: b17b81

Perhaps the temptress is right, maybe you've been reading your brother's notes wrong because they are encoded! Reread them aloud to see if there are any phonetic clues! Or draw them out to see if they could form a map to where he went! (would go? Would have gone? I don't know tenses)
>>
No. 699467 ID: bf53e4

Well, as a holy knight, you are required to be a good and honorable guest. Maybe you can figure out a way to fix her throne? Clean up the deathknight parts? Or you could take his place standing at her door. A knight is supposed to repay hospitality by joining in the defense of his host's castle, you know!
>>
No. 699471 ID: 5ea852

Take an interest in what she was doing when you arrived. It might be something more sinister than it previously seemed.

I mean, what kind of shows do nefarious monsters even watch?
>>
No. 699474 ID: f6442a

With naught but yon cushion from thy vanquished throne and mine own cloak, BEHOLD! I have created SATISFACTORY GUEST ACCOMMODATIONS!
>>
No. 699479 ID: 2ccbb3

Chop up the throne into a futon and begin your schizophrenia episode.
>>
No. 699486 ID: 02422f

>>699462
Set up camp in her bedroom. She doesn't expect you to wait in the throne room does she? Be very unprofessional if you were there when any other adventurers came by.

Start channel surfing on the crystal ball.
>>
No. 699671 ID: b904a2
File 145484107099.jpg - (61.43KB , 800x600 , AMHQ023.jpg )
699671

WELL SINCE SHE'S GONE I MIGHT AS WELL CHECK IF SHE'S HIDING ARTIFACTS OF POWER FROM ME.

YOU MIGHT NEVER KNOW WITH THESE SNEAKY DEMONS.

MAYBE HER CRYSTAL BALL HAS SOMETHING THAT CAN HELP.

...

NO.

SHE PASSWORD LOCKED THAT. UNFORTUNATE.
>>
No. 699672 ID: b904a2
File 145484126517.jpg - (50.40KB , 800x550 , AMHQ024.jpg )
699672

BY THE GODS THIS PLACE IS A MESS.

YOU'D IMAGINE A SORCERESS WOULD TAKE CARE OF HER IMAGE. OR EVEN USE MAGIC TO CLEAN THINGS UP.

THERE ARE DIRTY CLOTHES EVERYWHERE. A COUPLE OF BOOKS ABOUT MAGIC AND... A ROMANCE NOVEL CALLED "TALES OF AN ORIGINAL DRAMA"?

GODS THIS SORCERESS IS WEIRD.

NOTHING WEIRD OR ACTUALLY TOO EVIL AT LEAST. MAYBE I MISJUDGED HER. SHE'S NOT EVIL, JUST A SLOB.
>>
No. 699673 ID: b904a2
File 145484158215.jpg - (48.45KB , 800x500 , AMHQ025.jpg )
699673

I SHOULD PROBABLY MAKE CAMP TO.

SINCE THE THRONE IS ALREADY BROKEN I CAN JUST USE PIECES OF THAT AS BOARDS TO SLEEP ON. THE CUSHION AS A PILLOW AND MY MANTLE TO COVER UP.

MMMH I REGRET NOW NOT HAVING BROUGHT MY BROTHER'S NOTES WITH ME. MAYBE THERE IS A SECRET CODE INSIDE THEM AND THE SORCERESS COULD HAVE HELPED ME UNCODE IT.
I JUST THOUGHT THEY WERE NOTES ABOUT DEFEATING MONSTERS AND NOTHING MORE. MY BROTHER SURE IS CRAFTY.

Konda: "Uuuuuuuuh"

Konda: "W-what are you doing?"

"I MADE CAMP FOR THE NIGHT"

Konda: "B-BUT THIS IS MY ROOM!"

"I KNOW"
>>
No. 699674 ID: b904a2
File 145484175347.jpg - (59.50KB , 900x550 , AMHQ026.jpg )
699674

Konda: "I don't think i can allow you to sleep here."

"DO NOT WORRY. AS LONG AS I NEED YOUR HELP I PROMISE I WON'T HARM YOU. UNLESS YOU ATTACK ME FIRST OF COURSE."

Konda: "T-that's not exactly what i am worried about..."

"EXCELLENT. THEN THERE IS NO PROBLEM AT ALL. GOODNIGHT."

Konda: "..."

Konda: "Goodnight..."
>>
No. 699675 ID: b904a2
File 145484184005.jpg - (47.56KB , 800x550 , AMHQ027.jpg )
699675

MMMRRRRNGH!

THAT WAS A BETTER NIGHT OF SLEEP THAN I IMAGINED.

THAT PILLOW WAS INCREDIBLY COMFORTABLE.
>>
No. 699676 ID: b904a2
File 145484218245.jpg - (64.72KB , 800x550 , AMHQ028.jpg )
699676

"BY THE GOODS YOU LOOK AWFUL TODAY"

Konda: "Thanks, it's not like my self esteem is already at its lowest..."

"DID YOU NOT SLEEP?"

Konda: "I didn't get much sleep at all..."

"YOU SHOULD PROBABLY FIX YOUR WAY OF LIFE, EATING HEALTIER AND AVOIDING STAYING SO LONG IN FRONT OF THE CRYSTAL BALL, THAT SHOULD HELP YOU SLEEP BETTER!"

Konda: "N-no that's not the poin... you are really not the brightest paladin, right?"

"I AM A BEACON OF LIGHT! OF COURSE I'M BRIGHT!"

Konda: "That answers my question..."

SHE SIPS HER BLACK FUMING POTION.

Konda: "Anyway. My servants didn't get any news about a human knight, but they told me that there is going to be a monster council in about a couple days. Monsters from all the monsterlands will converge there. You might find answers to your quest there. But it would be dangerous to go there alone and dressed as you are..."
>>
No. 699677 ID: 3663d3

she has a point, a monster council would assume a holy knight was sent to infiltrate and murder them all instead of asking question.
>>
No. 699678 ID: 9e5762

>>699676
apologize to this poor sorceress for keeping her up, jesus
>>
No. 699680 ID: a22f87

>>699676
>But it would be dangerous to go there alone and dressed as you are...
FEAR NOT, I AM A KNIGHT AND I SHALL TAKE ANY TASK HEAD ON WITHOUT FEAR! NOW I MUST THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME ON MY QUEST TO AVANGE MY BOTHER AND UNFORTUNATELY MUST ASK ONE LAST THING FROM YOU! WHERE IS THIS MEETING TAKING PLACE?! I'M SURE I CAN FIGURE OUT THE REST ONCE I GET THERE.
>>
No. 699686 ID: 5ea852

>>699676
>But it would be dangerous to go there alone and dressed as you are...

Well, then. It's a good thing you recruited her into your party. Side-quest objective completed.
>>
No. 699694 ID: b904a2
File 145485100433.jpg - (83.33KB , 800x600 , AMHQ029.jpg )
699694

"I SEE! THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE A GOOD PLACE TO START. THANK YOU, YOU HAVE BEEN RAELLY HELPFUL."

Konda: "No problem, you did win my aid. Even if you destroyed half of my stuff..."

"..."

"I AM SORRY ABOUT THAT. I PROMISE THAT AT THE END OF THE QUEST I'LL TRY TO REPAY YOU"

Konda: "Oh... uh... yeah, that would be nice..."
>>
No. 699696 ID: b904a2
File 145485141832.jpg - (53.20KB , 800x500 , AMHQ030.jpg )
699696

"I HAVE TO STILL ASK YOU TO AID ME UNTIL THE END THOUGH. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS PLACE IS. AND WHILE I AM SURE I COULD FIGHT MY WAY THROUGH I THINK I'LL WASTE TOO MUCH ENERGY WITHOUT GETTING ANY RESULT. ANY IDEA WHAT I COULD DO?"

Konda: "Uhm. Yeah i can accompany you there, and you can act as my guard or escort. I... i think i can put a costume on you and enforce it with illusion."

"POSE AS A MONSTER? MMMH, NOT REALLY APPROPRIATE FOR A KNIGHT. BUT I WILL HAVE TO CLOSE AN EYE. FOR MY BROTHER!"
>>
No. 699697 ID: b904a2
File 145485157916.jpg - (51.56KB , 500x800 , AMHQ031.jpg )
699697

"..."

"ARE YOU SURE THIS IS GOING TO WORK?"

Konda: "Oh yes. Just trust me. Any particular creature you want to look like?"

if you feel like, you can even just draw on the "mask", or just give a suggestion.
>>
No. 699698 ID: 796324

Use the power of suggestion. Write "A Monster" on the mask and let their imagination fill in the blanks.
>>
No. 699699 ID: 5ea852

>>699697
No, no, this is good. You may pretend to be a spectral knight. Or a wraith knight. Muster any spookiness you have.
>>
No. 699701 ID: 0b4dd7

pretend to be a dullahan. if you leave the bag blank they'll think you're headless so it works out.
>>
No. 699704 ID: 2ccbb3

Play the role of undead, possibly Revenant. That way, you can act human and still be treated as a semi-monster.
>>
No. 699707 ID: b17b81

Act like that deathknight you killed.
>>
No. 699710 ID: f6442a

Gorgon. What are YOU lookin' at, punk?
>>
No. 699716 ID: b904a2
File 145486014079.jpg - (54.54KB , 800x550 , AMHQ032.jpg )
699716

Golem BUTLER: WELCOME! WELCOME! TO THE MONSTER COUNCIL!
>>
No. 699717 ID: b904a2
File 145486033274.jpg - (78.38KB , 740x600 , AMHQ033.jpg )
699717

Golem BUTLER: "Lady sorceress Hira Konda. And..."

Konda: "This is my undead knight bodyguard

Golem BUTLER: "Ah, but of course! It is a pleasure to see you manage to come to the council."

Konda: "Yes, i thought there might be interesting topic this time."
>>
No. 699718 ID: 796324

Would it be rude to sniff the flower on his head, or would it be rude to ignore the flower entirely? I am so bad at these kind of social gatherings.
>>
No. 699720 ID: 5ea852

>>699718
An undead would not sniff anything because of the distinct lack of actual breathing.

But complimenting the flower might be appropriate. In a gentlemanly fashion.
>>
No. 699721 ID: b904a2
File 145486089151.jpg - (55.37KB , 800x530 , AMHQ034.jpg )
699721

Golem BUTLER: "As you can see, the council this year will be held in this ancient dead volcano. Courtesy of the Kobold Empress. At ground floor you can find the hall, where we currently are, the training grounds, the kitchens and the dining halls. and of course the ball room. On the first floor there are the libraries and the private rooms. We have prepared room 609 for you and your following. You came here quite soon, most of the other hosts haven't arrived aside for a bunch of dignitaries. and of course on the second floor we have the forum, where the council will be held, and private meeting rooms that can be booked for private business and chats."

Konda: "Good. Bring my luggages in my room"

SHE TURNS TO ME.

Konda: "I, uh, am going straight to my room to 'freshen' up. You can go wherever you want. Just remember that you are technically here in my name, so please don't make me look bad in front of the others... please..."
>>
No. 699722 ID: 796324

>>699720
What if having a flower growing out of you is considered embarrassing for a golem though? I don't want him to do the equivalent of complimenting his hairy mole.

Go to the training grounds. We need to keep our sword skills sharp for when we find those responsible for our brother's no doubt grisly fate.
>>
No. 699723 ID: 2ccbb3

Check the forum for traps, set up a few of your own just in case.
>>
No. 699725 ID: 5ea852

>>699721
Uh, ask her what you should do if someone challenges you or disrespects her in casual conversation while you're roaming around. Technically, you're in her employ right now and a knight is honour-bound to defend his lady's good name.
>>
No. 699737 ID: 02422f

>>699721
Ask what an undead knight typically does at these kinds of things so you won't be suspicious.
>>
No. 699746 ID: 5ea852

Check the library. There must be a clue in there about your brother. Surely, the monsters would record the demise of a hero as great as he was.

>>699722
If he gets offended, you can always outmaneuver the offense by flipping it on its head. Like, it makes him distinct and adds character. Both people and monsters will buy all sorts of bullshit if you make it out as a compliment.
>>
No. 699778 ID: 2a90dc

>>699737
This.
>>
No. 699797 ID: b904a2
File 145487657579.jpg - (59.08KB , 800x530 , AMHQ034.jpg )
699797

"PSSSSSSST"

Konda: "What?"

"I FORGOT TO ASK. HOW IS AN UNDEAD KNIGHT SUPPOSED TO ACT HERE?"

Konda: "Uh. Just act like you'd normally act as a knight? But... you know... undead-ly?"

"SO THE STANDARD? BE CHIVALRIOUS, BE HELPFUL, DEFEND YOUR LADY'S HONOR IN A DUEL TO THE DEATH IF SOMEONE OFFENDS HER?"

Konda: "Well, i... never had anyone defend my honor so far. Sounds kinda flattering, but i think you should avoid duels to the death. For now. "

"UNDERSTOOD"
>>
No. 699798 ID: b904a2
File 145487663054.jpg - (75.73KB , 800x550 , AMHQ035.jpg )
699798

SHE GOES UPSTAIR, LEAVING ME ALONE.
>>
No. 699800 ID: b904a2
File 145487675863.jpg - (60.00KB , 800x550 , AMHQ036.jpg )
699800

"NICE FLOWER"

Golem Butler: "THANKS FOR NOTICING, SIR. I WATERED IT TODAY!"

GOOD. I HAVE ALREADY INFILTRATED THIS LAIR.

NOW, LET'S SEE. I COULD GO TO THE LIBRARY, THE TRAINING GROUNDS OR THE FORUM. THOSE ARE PROBABLY GOOD PLACES TO CHECK. WHICH FIRST THOUGH.
>>
No. 699810 ID: 02422f

>>699800
Forum. You'll be more conspicuous if you show off at the training ground, so leave that for later.
>>
No. 699829 ID: 5ea852

I resubmit my suggestion.

>Check the library. There must be a clue in there about your brother. Surely, the monsters would record the demise of a hero as great as he was.
>>
No. 699856 ID: 796324

Training ground, we have to be at our very best when we find those responsible for our brothers unspeakable fate.
>>
No. 699896 ID: f6442a

Unfortunately, undead knights have a not-so chivalrous advantage in duels to the death. So, don't do that.

Seek out the kobold hosts.
>>
No. 699898 ID: dc7870

>>699800
I advise you start with the forum.
>>
No. 700010 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145492620902.jpg - (105.25KB , 850x650 , AMHQ037.jpg )
700010

I SHALL CHECK THE FORUMS FIRST. THAT WAY I CAN GET AN IDEA ON HOW MANY MONSTER MIGHT COME TO THIS PLACE.

ALRIGHT.

THIS.

IS A REALLY LARGE PLACE. THIS FORUM CAN HOST AT LEAST TWO OR THREE HUNDRED PEOPLE BACK WHERE I COME FROM.

OH SOMEONE IS HERE AS WELL.
>>
No. 700011 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145492641490.jpg - (128.90KB , 800x510 , AMHQ038.jpg )
700011

Kobold Empress: "Make sure that the higher tiers of the forum have enough space for the taller gents. We don't want to have those poor giants bending all the time. It's not good for their backs ~"

Kobold Chamberlain: "It will be done, your highness."

I GUESS THIS IS THE HOST OF THE COUNCIL.

KOBOLDS ARE SERIOUSLY SMALLER THAN I IMAGINED...
>>
No. 700012 ID: f6442a

Add kobold empress to inventory.
>>
No. 700014 ID: a22f87

>>700011
well since you're here, see if you can't ask her who's all coming. or at the very least if she has heard of any humans that have moved through these lands in the past 7 years. If asked why you want to know say it's personal.

Don't push or be rude though, you are representing konda and we did say we'd try not to make her look bad.
>>
No. 700015 ID: 3663d3

you can't just run up to royalty (while the chamberlain is around). try the library.
>>
No. 700017 ID: 5ea852

>>700015
Codex of Chivalry supports this action.
>>
No. 700023 ID: 506832

Introduce yourself, it is only polite for you to greet the empress. Oh and try to resist the urge to add the tiny kobolds to your inventory
>>
No. 700029 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145493778097.jpg - (111.55KB , 1100x550 , AMHQ039.jpg )
700029

SHE MIGHT BE BUSY, BUT SHE IS STILL THE HOST, AND A TRUE KNIGHT MUST HONOR THE HOST!

"GREETINGS YOUR HIGHNESS!"

Kobold Empress: "Oh, hello! What do we have here~?"

"I AM LADY KONDA'S NEW UNDEAD KNIGHT. WE JUST ARRIVED HERE AND I CAME HERE TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR HOSPITALITY!"

Kobold Empress: "Oh my~! That's quite chivalrious of you~. Haven't had many people greeting me properly lately. Konda sure knows how to raise her dead hihihihih~"

"I HOPE I DO NOT COME OUT AS INOPPORTUNE BUT I WANTED TO ASK YOUR HIGHNESS A COUPLE QUESTIONS"

Kobold Empress: "Oh, sorry cutie, but i'm really busy at the moment. the preparations for the council take priority over everything unfortunately."

SHE STUDIES ME FOR A MOMENT

Kobold Empress: "But we can have time to chat tonight,let me invite you and your mistress for dinner. I'll have my best chefs prepare the perfect meal. Well, for me and Konda of course. Then we can chat all night long~"
>>
No. 700031 ID: 796324

Oh shit, because they think you're undead, they think you have no need to eat. This thing is probably going to be going on a few days, so we have to find a way to secretly obtain food without blowing our cover.
>>
No. 700032 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145493813913.jpg - (85.79KB , 800x550 , AMHQ040.jpg )
700032

I TAKE MY LEAVE AND GO CHECK THE LIBRARY.

IT'S NOT AN EXTREMELY LARGE LIBRARY, BUT IT HAS A LOT OF BOOKS AND SCROLLS.

THERE IS ALSO A GNOLL LIBRARIAN.

WEIRD. ACCORDING TO MY BROTHER'S NOTES GNOLLS HAVE 'QUITE AN ORAL PREFERENCE IN THEIR TRADITIONS'. I GUESS HIS STUDIES WEREN'T AS GOOD AS I THOUGHT. POOR BROTHER.

Gnoll Librarian: "Hello! Who are you? Do you need anything"

OH RIGHT, I SHOULD NOT USE MY OWN NAME HERE, I NEED TO COME UP WITH A FAKE ONE, ELSE THEY WILL FIND OUT THAT I'M A HUMAN!
>>
No. 700033 ID: 506832

Silly McVirgin
>>
No. 700034 ID: 3663d3

he said PREFERENCE not that they only do so. clearly she must be an oddball of the gnolls.


anyway, say you are sir remington, ex sir remington you suppose.
>>
No. 700035 ID: 0cdf95

You're a deathknight, remember, so you need a proper undead hellwarrior name. Like... Murderguts Deathflayer.
>>
No. 700036 ID: 4229c9

>>700032
Do undead even have names? Wouldn’t "knight of Konda" work for and introduction?
>>
No. 700037 ID: 796324

Deathy Mckillsalot
Ask if she has any books on old legends. We must do our research on this most holiest of lances.
>>
No. 700039 ID: 3d2d5f

>>700029
Cute butt.

>I GUESS HIS STUDIES WEREN'T AS GOOD AS I THOUGHT.
Perhaps gnolls have grown more civilized since the records he uncovered in his research were written? One reason he would have set out might have been for more recent first hand research on subjects where human lore might be out of date!
>>
No. 700040 ID: 5ea852

Choose a grandiose name that would make Konda seem prestigious.

Like, Falric Nightsorrow or equally edgy name.

Ask her if she has ever heard of McManhammer name. If she asks why it interests you, tell her that he ended your life before Konda "raised" you.
>>
No. 700041 ID: 3d2d5f

Keep it simple. You're the Dark Knight.
>>
No. 700042 ID: 5ea852

>>700032
>GNOLLS HAVE 'QUITE AN ORAL PREFERENCE IN THEIR TRADITIONS'

Well, so do your fellow humans that aren't of high birth or part of the priesthood. Not everyone has the opportunity to become literate.

Seriously, check your knightly privilege.
>>
No. 700043 ID: 665ed8

Yes that is a good point, think about the emperess' butt. How did it make you feel? Did you sense the er... "power" your brother mentioned? If any monster would possess it it would be the emperess right?
>>
No. 700044 ID: 5ea852

>>700043
Let's not. The Empress might be a vile necrophiliac. Or how they like to call themselves - tolerant of the life-impaired.
>>
No. 700046 ID: 665ed8

Hey It's important we find out if he shares his brother's preferences and doesn't know
>>
No. 700047 ID: 796324

>>700044
What's wrong with a little tolerance?
>>
No. 700048 ID: 5ea852

>>700046
He is PURE. PUUUUUURE! If anything, his pure heart will lead him down his brother's path.

>>700047
There's nothing wrong with a LITTLE tolerance. A problem arises when said tolerance is TOO BIG.
>>
No. 700056 ID: 2a7417

Your clever alias is... Cleaver... Ales.
>>
No. 700062 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145494817802.jpg - (77.87KB , 800x600 , AMHQ041.jpg )
700062

"MY NAME IS UUUH... DEATHY FALRIC MURDERGUTS MCKILLSALOT THE DEATHFLAYER, LADY KONDA'S UNDEAD KNIGHT!"

Gnoll librarian: "That's quite a mouthful..."


"JUST CALL ME DEATHY"

Gnoll librarian: "Aaaaaaalright. My name is Limmeria, i'm the new librarian. How can i help you?"

"SO! I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD HELP ME. DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ANY HUMAN THAT ARRIVED IN THE MONSTERLAND FEW YEARS AGO? SOMEONE NAMED MCMANHAMMER? HE... DEFEATED ME AND SINCE I WAS RAISED I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR REVENGE"

Gnoll librarian: "Uh, no. Never heard of someone like that. Human incursions in our lands aren't really common, but they aren't really catalogued unless they made great dangers. i am sure i haven't heard anyone called like that in this part of the monsterland's archive. I'm sorry."

"I SEE. THANKS ANYWAY. MMMH. DO YOU HAVE ANY BOOKS THAT TALK OR REFER ABOUT A HOLY LANCE? I'M ALSO BEEN CURIOUS ABOUT IT."


Gnoll librarian: "Mmh, yes i think there might be one, let me look for it"
>>
No. 700063 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145494840305.jpg - (57.97KB , 800x500 , AMHQ042.jpg )
700063

SHE GOES TO LOOK FOR THE BOOK, LEAVING ME ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS.

THE MONSTERLANDS ARE A LOT DIFFERENT THAN I IMAGINED. I THOUGHT THE MONSTER WOULD LIVE IN BARBARIC TRIBES, BUT MOST OF THEM SEEM TO BE CIVILIZED OF SOME SORT.

ON THE OTHER HAND, I DO NOT REALLY KNOW THEIR CUSTOMS, AND PROBABLY EVEN MY BROTHER'S STUDIES MIGHT HAVE BEEN DONE ON ARCHAIC AND UNUSABLE NOTIONS.

SURE IT IS I WASN'T EXPECTING THE RULING CLASSES TO WEAR SO LITTLE! OUTFITS SO REVEALING WOULD CAUSE YOU TO BE BANISHED IN OUR COUNTRY.

MAYBE IT JUST SHOWS HOW CORRUPTED THESE MONSTERS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE.
>>
No. 700065 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145494853328.jpg - (72.42KB , 550x800 , AMHQ043.jpg )
700065

[/b]Gnoll librarian: "Well. i have found the book that talks about holy lances, but... i don't know if it is what you are looking for..."

"WHY NOT"

Gnoll librarian[b]: "Well, look for yourself."

SHE HANDS ME THE BOOK
>>
No. 700067 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145494868777.jpg - (51.13KB , 600x600 , AMHQ044.jpg )
700067

AH BLAST IT ALL!

IT'S WRITTEN IN MONSTER LANGUAGE.

THE BOOK MUST BE QUITE OLD, SINCE IT HAS BEEN LESS THAN A CENTURY SINCE THE MONSTERS STARTED TALKING IN THE COMMON TONGUE TOO!

STILL, I AM PRETTY SURE ANY MONSTER CAN SPEAK AND READ IT ANYWAY, BUT I CAN'T. AND I MIGHT LOOK SUSPICIOUS IF I ASK WHAT IT SAYS
>>
No. 700068 ID: 2a7417

Ask if she can keep a secret, then invite her up to a private chamber to read it to you.
>>
No. 700069 ID: e4abe1

>>700067
My eyes have rot away, i need magic inscribed books to read them, what's the book is about exactly?
>>
No. 700070 ID: 3663d3

we can have konda tell us about it later.
>>
No. 700071 ID: 796324

Tell her you are a pretty freshly raised former human. You cannot read the runes because your mistress has not had time to teach you how yet.
>>
No. 700072 ID: 5ea852

>>700067
Pretend that you're scanning through the pages and ask her if it's okay to take the book out of the library. Konda would certainly be helpful in deciphering the monster runes.
>>
No. 700073 ID: 3d2d5f

Explain you were human before you were killed, so regrettably your inherited knowledge after being raised does not include this script.

Could she read it to you?
>>
No. 700082 ID: e4abe1

>>700071
>>700073
this
>>
No. 700133 ID: 2ccbb3

Ask for a copy of a few pages, specifically those regarding the Holy Lance and how it is utilized.
>>
No. 700135 ID: 4854ef

Ask why her hands and tail are blue, are they naturally colored or dyed?
>>
No. 700136 ID: 5ea852

>>700135
If you do ask, do it tactfully. As in, mask it as a compliment. And don't use any excuse about rotten eyes beforehand - it would be suspicious if you suddenly differentiated colours without eyeballs.
>>
No. 700138 ID: 6d0bb1

>>700135
>>700136
that's just my scanner fucking up everytime i try to scan something that is slightly grey. her paws and tip of the tail are just supposed to be darker
>>
No. 700142 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145496131878.jpg - (60.13KB , 1020x500 , AMHQ045.jpg )
700142

"CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?"

Gnoll librarian: "Of course, we librarians are good at keeping our mouth shut."

"SINCE I HAVE BEEN RAISED RECENTLY I CAN'T READ THE OLD TONGUE."

Gnoll librarian: "Really! That's unfortunate... I'm sorry i didn't know that. I have been rude in giving you the book like that then."

"DON'T WORRY. BUT YOU CAN MAKE IT UP IF YOU WANT."

I HAND OUT THE BOOK

"WOULD YOU MIND READING ME PART OF IT? THAT WAY I WILL KNOW IF IT IS THE BOOK I'M LOOKING FOR"
>>
No. 700143 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145496146096.jpg - (66.20KB , 600x600 , AMHQ046.jpg )
700143

Gnoll librarian: "I d-don't think it's appropriate!"

"ONLY A COUPLE ENTRIES I GUESS? IN CASE I CAN BRING THE BOOK TO MY MISTRESS AND HAVE HER HELP ME, BUT I DON'T WANT TO WASTE HER TIME FOR SOMETHING THAT ISN'T IMPORTANT."

Gnoll librarian: "Mmmmmmmmmmmmh"
>>
No. 700146 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145496170628.jpg - (69.28KB , 800x550 , AMHQ047.jpg )
700146

Gnoll librarian: "Alright. Let me close the door first."

SHE LOCKS THE DOOR OF THE LIBRARY, GRABS THE BOOK AND INVITE ME TO SIT ON THE FLOOR.

PROBABLY THE TOME CONTAINS SOME SECRET KNOWLEDGE AND IT'S FORBIDDEN TO HEAR IT.

MAYBE I AM ON THE RIGHT PATH!

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT.

Gnoll librarian: "From the beginning?"

"YES, PLEASE"

Gnoll librarian: "This is the tale of sir Billings..."

GOOD, A PROMISING START ALREADY.
>>
No. 700148 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145496184415.jpg - (50.35KB , 600x600 , AMHQ048.jpg )
700148

Gnoll librarian: "... the hunkiest of knights. An erotic collection. Chapter one: 'The lusty lizardfolk maiden..."

...

OH....
>>
No. 700150 ID: 796324

The text is obviously encoded to hide the truth from prying eyes. Allow her to continue.
>>
No. 700151 ID: 5ad4a7

>>700148
Wait what does this have to do with a holy lance?
>>
No. 700155 ID: 5ea852

Damnation! Euphemisms, the bane of your existence.

Stop her as it is not appropriate for a lady of any race to read out loud such filth and apologise.

Inquire if such literature is common here. Then thank her for sparing you the embarrassment in front of your "mistress".
>>
No. 700160 ID: 3d2d5f

Wait until she's ready enough that you're sure this won't help you. After all, you'll never be able to double check on your own! It might be coded, or just obscured by an oratory style designed to make oral retelling easier.

(Stop her once she's gotten hot and bothered).
>>
No. 700161 ID: 2a7417

Steel your heart (and other things) and continue.
>>
No. 700162 ID: 5ea852

>>700148
Inquire how a maiden can be lusty. Does it not interfere with her maidenhood?
>>
No. 700165 ID: c45b7e

>>700148
OUR MIND IS AS SHARP AS OUR SWORD, WE CUT TO THE TRUTH WITH IT. OUR MIND IS AS GIRDED AS OUR ARMOR, WE SHALL ENDURE ANY ONSLAUGHT NO MATTER THE LEWDNESS.
>>
No. 700166 ID: b17b81

That encoding sounds familiar to your brother's, mayhaps he was using this book to help him hide his notes! What better cipher could there be than a tome in an ancient, unknown (to you at least) language! This is perfect, tell the librarian that this is exactly the book your mistress asked for (cant let her think you have your own goals can you?) and that you both will spend all night poring over every inch of it together. Give her an eyebrow waggle just in case she is in on its true value! (Yes, even with the bag on, and even more so with the helmet still on)

((Librarian is cuter that our benefactor, but i want to keep this misunderstanding train rolling as long as i can))
>>
No. 700167 ID: 5ea852

>>700150
>>700160
>>700161
>>700165
NO NO NO NO NO, we'll blow our cover! Undead do not get erections. Unless they are vampires!
>>
No. 700174 ID: 796324

>>700167
Pure knights also do not get erections. Do you doubt our heroes purity?
>>
No. 700207 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145496822112.jpg - (40.64KB , 500x600 , AMHQ049.jpg )
700207

I SHOULD STOP HER IMMEDIATELY, THIS MIGHT BE READ IN A WRONG WAY.

BUT...

ALREADY IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPHS OF THAT BOOK, THE TEXT SOUNDS SIMILAR TO MY BROTHER'S NOTES.

MIGHT THAT BE AN ANCIENT WAY OF CODING? HIDE IN A EROTICA BOOK? A BOOK THAT IS CLEARLY SOMETHING THAT HUMANS AND KNIGHTS WON'T READ ON THEIR OWN?

MMMMH. I SHALL LET HER READ ME A COUPLE MORE PARTS.
>>
No. 700208 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145496857586.jpg - (64.81KB , 800x500 , AMHQ050.jpg )
700208

THE BOOK IS... QUITE EXPLICIT ON SOME KIND OF PARTS, AND DOESN'T HIDE ANY PART.

AROUND CHAPTER THREE, WHEN SIR BILLINGS AUDACIOUSLY DECIDES TO SLEEP WITH THE QUEEN OF THE DARK ELVES WHILE HER HUSBAND IS ASLEEP IN THE THRONE ROOM I START TO RECOGNIZE EXACT SIMILARITIES WITH MY BROTHER'S NOTES.

MY BROTHER MIGHT HAVE STUDIED THIS BOOK AND ENCODED THE SECRET BENEATH IT.

AND JUDGING BY HOW BOTHERED THE LIBRARIAN IS GETTING, THE CODE MIGHT ACT AS A WAY TO KEEP MONSTERS FROM DISCOVERING THE TRUTH.

IT IS ALSO GENIUS, SINCE THE BOOK IS REALLY WELL WRITTEN. EVEN A HOLY PALADIN LIKE ME BLUSHED AT SOME PARTS.
>>
No. 700212 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145496883174.jpg - (58.38KB , 600x640 , AMHQ051.jpg )
700212

"AH-HEM"

Gnoll librarian "UH! WHAT! Did i say something wrong?"

"OH NO! YOU HAVE BEEN EXTREMELY HELPFUL. THIS MIGHT BE IN FACT THE BOOK I WAS LOOKING FOR. CAN I BORROW IT SO THAT MY MISTRESS AND I COULD READ IT LATER TOGETHER?"

Gnoll librarian "T-T-TOGETHER?"

"YES, AS I AM UNABLE TO READ IT ON MY OWN. I THINK WE CAN START TONIGHT AFTER DINNER."

Gnoll librarian "O-oh my... Uh. Sure. Here, take the b-book"

SHE HANDS ME THE BOOK AGAIN

"THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE HELP!"
>>
No. 700214 ID: e7137b

I want everyone to pause here for a second, do you really think Konda will be willing to read the book? I mean she's obviously quite shy about such things
>>
No. 700215 ID: 99a64d

Remember, she's a monster, we can't let her realize that the book is in code.
>>
No. 700216 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145496911816.jpg - (53.79KB , 600x650 , AMHQ052.jpg )
700216

Gnoll librarian "Ehm... uhm... I-in case you want more i think there might be more books on the same s-subject in the library..."

MORE BOOKS? MMMH MAYBE EVEN MORE CODES!

Gnoll librarian "I-in case you and your mistress appreciate the book, let me know and i can... look for more."

"THAT MIGHT BE HELPFUL. I'LL SEE WHAT WE GET OUT OF THIS BOOK LATER"

Gnoll librarian "G-good luck"

I STILL HAVE A BIT OF FREE TIME, I CAN STILL GO SOMEHWERE.

AT ONE POINT I SHOULD GET TO KONDA'S ROOM THOUGH, AND LET HER KNOW WE HAVE BEEN INVITED BY THE EMPRESS FOR DINNER SO WE CAN PREPARE A PLAN AND CLEAN UP.

ALSO, I MIGHT HAVE TO THINK OF A PLAN FOR DINNER. I'M SURE UNDEADS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT. AND I CAN'T SURVIVE ALL THESE DAYS WITHOUT EATING..."
>>
No. 700219 ID: 4854ef

Doggie bag! Have Konda take some extra's back afterwords and you can eat from that instead!
>>
No. 700222 ID: 5ea852

Go to the room 609 right now, a plan must be devised with Konda and that should take priority.

All further roaming should take place afterwards.

Oh, and uh, knock this time before entering.
>>
No. 700223 ID: 5ad4a7

>>700216
Just ask Konda to sneak you some food after dinner. You'll have to take off the disguise to eat it anyway, and you really shouldn't do that unless you're in private.
>>
No. 700227 ID: 02422f

>>700216
We should warn Konda about the invitation. She needs prep time. You saw how well prepared for you she was with magic telling her to be ready. If you don't warn her about the dinner now, who knows what a state she'd be in when she arrives! Why, she might not have nay clothes at all!
>>
No. 700247 ID: 796324

Yes return to Konda. Let her know we found a book that reads similarly to our brother's notes and the empress thing too.
>>
No. 700406 ID: f6442a

Get some dairy products for food, if anyone asks tell 'em calcium builds strong bones.
>>
No. 700415 ID: 5496b9
File 145501830823.jpg - (49.64KB , 800x550 , AMHQ053.jpg )
700415

I ARRIVE AT KONDA'S ROOM. AND THIS TIME I KNOCK.

Konda: "Crapcrapcrap YES! ONE SECOND! WHO'S THERE?"

"IT IS I, MISTRESS KONDA. YOUR KNIGHT!"

Konda: "Ok! One second! hold on!"

...

Konda: "Come in"
>>
No. 700417 ID: 5496b9
File 145501880365.jpg - (79.32KB , 850x550 , AMHQ054.jpg )
700417

Konda: "I was unpacking my luggages still. Sorry."

EVEN IF THE LUGGAGE IS OPEN, I CAN CLEARLY SEE THAT SHE HAS BARELY TOUCHED THE CONTENT.

Konda: "Uhm, so! Any luck with your quest?"

"YES, I HAVE ACQUIRED A BOOK THAT MIGHT HELP ME IN MY QUEST, BUT IT IS WRITTEN IN THE MONSTER LANGUAGE AND I CAN'T READ IT. I HAVE TO ASK YOU TO HELP ME AND READ IT FOR ME WHILE I TRY TO FIGURE OUT ANYTHING THAT CAN HELP. BY THE WAY, IF ANYONE ASKS, MY NAME IS DEATHY FALRIC MURDERGUTS MCKILLSALOT THE DEATHFLAYER. SIR DEATHY IN SHORT."

Konda: "... ok. And sure, no problem. Give me the book."

"THAT CAN WAIT. WE NEED TO PREPARE OURSELVES. WE HAVE BEEN FORMALLY INVITED TO DINNER BY THE KOBOLD EMPRESS."

Konda: "T-the kobold empress invited us? for dinner? why?"

"I MET HER WHILE VISITING THE FORUM AND INTRODUCED MYSELF IN ORDER TO THANK HER FOR HER HOSPITALITY AND SHE INVITED US FOR DINNER. WHICH ALSO BRINGS THE PROBLEM THAT AS AN UNDEAD I SHOULD NOT PROBABLY BE SEEN EATING. MAYBE YOU CAN GET SOME LEFTOVERS FOR ME AFTER DINNER?"

Konda: "Oh noooooooooooooooooooo"

"WHAT IS WRONG?"
>>
No. 700418 ID: 5496b9
File 145501899831.jpg - (49.17KB , 800x470 , AMHQ055.jpg )
700418

Konda: "I am awful at social interaction..."

"AREN'T YOU A RENOWNED SORCERESS IN THESE LANDS?"

Konda: "a sorceress that lives alone, surrounded by undeads! Being here already makes me feel anxious..."

"..."

Konda: "Not only that, but you are asking me to get a doggy bag while eating with the empress? Really? I can't do that come on! Oh my gods i will die of embarassment i can't do this! i can't do this!"
>>
No. 700419 ID: 3663d3

wait, i know. fake direct life force transfer spell. you say you can 'eat' a rabbit via a killing touch that gives you all it's energy. it just kills the rabbit though no evil life transfers, you keep it and cook it later. make the skin into something nice.
>>
No. 700420 ID: 4229c9

>>700418
The princess seemed nice and very casual. Also, as her knight we can probably do most of the talking for her.

>Apologize for leading her into an uncomfortable situation. Suggest to take it as a relatively easy method of becoming more sociable. She may be too nervous to be social by herself, but we are there for her and will help her all along the way.
>>
No. 700421 ID: 4229c9

>>700419
How about we take care of the doggy bag issue? We will be there after all, so she doesn’t have to deal with the awkwardness.

That pretend-life-stealing idea is awful, by the way. Way too many failure points and even if it works it is a less than ideal solution.
>>
No. 700426 ID: e4abe1

>>700417
you were clearly watching the sphere shows again!
>>
No. 700429 ID: a3d849

Well no you don't have to ask for a doggy bag, but if you were to get sandwich as a midnight snack later tonight it may not look out of place.
>>
No. 700430 ID: 3d2d5f

>I am awful at social interaction...
Well you can cover there, probably. Social graces are part of knightly training, though there are limits on how far a servant can speak for their mistress.

Besides, she seemed nice. And the bar for dressing up appeared low.

>can't save food
Well, then I'll need to eat later, or you'll have to make an excuse why your undead is eating.
>>
No. 700434 ID: 5ea852

You could order room service and just say it's for Konda. Bam, problem solved.

Tell her that the Empress seemed rather impressed with her "necromancy" and that the Empress will probably keep most of her attention on you rather than her. She should be fine if she looks overwhelmed by the honour she was presented with, so the Empress probably won't realise that Konda is just bad at being with real, living people.
>>
No. 700442 ID: 4854ef

For a Sorceress she needs to learn to stand up for herself so far doesn't it, we need to improve her social graces!
>>
No. 700443 ID: 2a7417

>>700434

Problem not solved, the kobold empress invited her to dinner and that could be taken as rude.
>>
No. 700450 ID: 5ea852

>>700443
We don't have to do it TODAY. This gathering is like a symposium or something, so we'll be staying for a few days.

And it's not like our knight can't deal with a day of absolute fast. Stuff like that is part of knightly training.
>>
No. 700477 ID: 5ea852

Pray to Saint Chara the Determined for guidance in what to do with socially awkward sorceress.
>>
No. 700493 ID: 5496b9
File 145504648980.jpg - (75.01KB , 800x600 , AMHQ056.jpg )
700493

BY THE GODS. WHAT A MESS.

I HOLD HER HANDS AND COMFORT HER.

"LISTEN. IT'S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT! I WILL BE IN THE ROOM TOO AND I'LL DO MOST OF THE TALKING. I NEED TO ASK THE KOBOLD EMPRESS A COUPLE QUESTIONS ABOUT HUMANS AND OTHER RUMORS. SHE SEEMED IMPRESSED BY YOUR ABILITY TO RAISE THE DEAD, SO THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY."

Konda:"Ok..."

"IT IS NOT GOOD THOUGH FOR A SORCERESS TO BE NOT PREPARED FOR SOCIAL EVENTS. I PROMISE THAT WHEN WE HAVE SOME SPARE TIME I WILL HELP YOU WITH YOUR AWKWARDNESS AND TEACH YOU WHAT I LEARNT ABOUT SOCIAL INTERACTION."

Konda:"Ok..."
>>
No. 700494 ID: 5496b9
File 145504686432.jpg - (57.45KB , 800x500 , AMHQ057.jpg )
700494

Konda: "Thanks, sir..."

Konda: "Uh, i just realized i don't even know your name"

"OH! HAVE I FORGOT TO ACTUALLY INTRODUCE MYSELF? MY NAME IS SIR LAYTON THE GOOD MCMANHAMMER. BUT MY BROTHER HUMPY USED TO CALL ME JUST LAY"

Konda: "Thank you, Sir Lay."

"WELL! SINCE WE HAVE TIME TO PREPARE, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND IF I GO AND CLEAN MYSELF UP FIRST, SO YOU WON'T HAVE TO RUSH THINGS."

Konda: "Ok. I'll start preparing my clothes then."
>>
No. 700495 ID: 5496b9
File 145504688077.jpg - (61.81KB , 650x600 , AMHQ058.jpg )
700495

>>
No. 700496 ID: 5496b9
File 145504692379.jpg - (61.74KB , 750x600 , AMHQ059.jpg )
700496

"AND STOP SPENDING SO MUCH TIME IN FRONT OF THE SPHEREVISION. YOUR BRAIN WILL ROT!"
>>
No. 700499 ID: 5496b9
File 145504717882.jpg - (100.31KB , 1000x550 , AMHQ060.jpg )
700499

-later-

Kobold Empress: "Hello! I'm so glad you could make it!"

"WE'D NEVER REFUSE AN INVITATION FROM YOUR HIGHNESS! THANK YOU AGAIN FOR INVITING US FOR DINNER"

Kobold Empress: "Hihihihih!"
>>
No. 700500 ID: 47160d

*Dies of adorable overload*
>>
No. 700501 ID: 5496b9
File 145504757031.jpg - (87.36KB , 810x600 , AMHQ061.jpg )
700501

THE DINNER IS HELD IN HER PRIVATE ROOMS. THERE IS ONLY ME, KONDA AND THE EMPRESS. AND ABOUT TWO DOZENS OF KOBOLD SERVANTS.

SHE MOTIONS US TO SIT ON SOFT PILLOWS ON THE GROUND AND THE FIRST PLATE OF APETIZER IS SERVED.

Kobold Empress: "I hope you won't mind me praising your magic abilities, Konda. But i am really impressed on your new chaperon~"

Konda: "Thank you, your highness."

Kobold Empress: "I know that your bodyguard has a couple of questions for me, but i want you both to answer me a thing that picked my curiosity first. I'm used to the see decaying creatures and skeletons as undead guards, but i haven't seen a corpse so fresh. Have you been raised recently?"

UH-OH

"YES, YOUR HIGHNESS, ONLY FEW DAYS AGO."

Kobold Empress: "Interesting! Mind telling me your story before being raised? I've always been curious on how it feels to pass through!"

KONDA IS STARTING TO GET ANXIOUS ALREADY. I NEED TO COME UP WITH A CONVINCING STORY BEFORE THE EMPRESS GETS SUSPICIOUS.

OR FIND A DISTRACTION.
>>
No. 700502 ID: 3663d3

you were actually a knight that was trying to fight her at first, you took on her whole army including her previous champion only for your various wounds from the previous battle to slow you down enough for konda's magic to finish you off.
>>
No. 700510 ID: 3d2d5f

>I've always been curious on how it feels to pass through
Your memories of said passage are hazy and unclear, at best. We're it so simple to peer beyond the veil, surely it would be better understood.

>Mind telling me your story before being raised?
>I NEED TO COME UP WITH A CONVINCING STORY
Can't you be mostly honest? Galvanting off to monster land searching for your brother and/or revenge only to end up undead isn't that unbelievable, and almost what happened. She's been a good mistress, and you don't mind helping her at all!

(I wouldn't claim Konda killed you. Let the kobold assume something else got you, or that Konda made sure you didn't remember that detail when she raised you).
>>
No. 700513 ID: 5ad4a7

Let's leave the "beyond the veil" stuff for the necromancer. At best you can make up the story of how you died. Be sure the story involves you being somewhere where Konda would find you and raise your corpse.
>>
No. 700515 ID: 25273c

You were on a perilous quest to search for your vanished brother, but found yourself unable to make it alone. Konda managed to encounter you while you still had some breath in your lungs, and you were faced with the choice to either fail your mission, or to get another chance by willingly taking on the position you're in now.

The fact that you chose this fate while you were still alive is part of why you still look so lively.
>>
No. 700519 ID: 280ec9

>>700501
>>700510
Why not just say you choked on some food or ate bad berries that killed you, then Konda found your immaculate corpse?
>>
No. 700522 ID: 47160d

Ask why she wants to know
>>
No. 700542 ID: 5ad4a7

>>700519
This is probably best. Especially since if we refer to Humpy as a brother, that will invalidate Lay's assumed name.

It would be best if we could use the same story we told the librarian, but I'm not sure it's a good idea to give Humpy a bad name, even here.
>>
No. 700551 ID: 5ea852

We need to keep our story in check. Blame your brother (but, again, present him as someone you despise) for your death, like with the gnoll, and claim that you pursued him before your demise as a rival would. You will pursue him even in undeath.

Tell the Empress that you don't know if you've even reached the realm of souls. Dying itself was not too different from falling asleep, aside from not feeling most of your body parts and being much scarier. And that if you didn't know better, you'd swear that you've woken up from a deep slumber when Konda raised you.

Then Konda tested you out on her previous deathknight and you proved too effective.

>>700519
>>700542
It's not for the best because the story told to the gnoll librarian would be invalidated. A liar needs to keep track of his own lies.
>>
No. 700560 ID: 796324

It might be good to go with a slight variation on the truth. Pretend she actually set up a trap for you once she divined the timing of your oncoming assault.
>>
No. 700564 ID: 5ad4a7

>>700560
Heyyy, that could work. Yeah. We can tell the entire truth except say that he died upon raiding Konda's dungeon.

The story we told the librarian could still fit with that, too, by saying Humpy may as well have killed him since the notes led Lay here.
>>
No. 700640 ID: fa9b55

"I had fought her former champion in order to win audience with her, but in victory came defeat, as I was gravely wounded. I.. feared passing on without finding my brother again, and agreed to replace her former guardian.
>>
No. 700642 ID: 99844f

We tried to kill her.

She killed us.

She un-killed us.

Now we work for her.
>>
No. 700648 ID: 2c4c23

What we told the librarian about Humpy was that "HE... DEFEATED ME AND SINCE I WAS RAISED I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR REVENGE". That means that rather than saying he killed us, we could say that when we were alive he was the first to defeat us in a duel and then had the rudeness to vanish before we could have the rematch we have been training for. (In that version, we don't even have to particularly hide that he is our brother, since brother/brotherrrrr rivalries are pretty classic.)
>>
No. 700670 ID: efd640
File 145510554763.jpg - (47.06KB , 650x600 , AMHQ062.jpg )
700670

"WELL, YOUR HIGHNESS. MY TALE BEGINS IN"

Kobold Empress: "Oh! wait! wait!"

UH?
>>
No. 700671 ID: a107fd

You're looking for your brother. You and he had an argument over something foolish, which escalated to a duel, which left you gravely wounded. He ran off to the monsterlands on some mysterious quest while you were convalescing. You attempted to follow him as soon as you could get out of bed, compelled by honor to deliver a formal apology after having lost the duel, or, since he's your brother and apparently mysteriously missing, avenge his death if necessary. Even in your weakened state you were able to dispatch Konda's previous bodyguard, but the exertion reopened your wound and you bled out after staggering into her throne room.
>>
No. 700672 ID: efd640
File 145510573549.jpg - (70.67KB , 800x550 , AMHQ063.jpg )
700672

SHE GETS UP AND WALKS UP TO ME.

THEN SHE FLOPS ON MY LAP

Kobold Empress: "I prefer being closer and more comfortable when someone tells me a story~"

... ROYALTY COSTUMES ARE REALLY DIFFERENT HERE.
>>
No. 700674 ID: efd640

- BE RIGHT BACK- GONNA FINISH THE UPDATE
>>
No. 700675 ID: e4abe1

>>700674
don't go blind!
>>
No. 700677 ID: 904bad

This would be an extremely inappropriate time for a holy lance. Specially because undeads don't have holy things. Also, try to avoid having corporal heat. And pulse. All that breathing you are doing? yea, dont'.
>>
No. 700678 ID: efd640
File 145510742548.jpg - (76.29KB , 800x600 , AMHQ064.jpg )
700678

"UHM. AS I WAS SAYING. MY TALE BEGINS IN MY HOMETOWN, SEVERAL YEARS AGO. WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I HAD A BROTHERLY RIVALRY WITH ANOTHER SQUIRE. WE WOULD ALWAYS COMPETE AND I WAS NEVER ABLE TO DEFEAT HIM. SEVEN YEARS AGO HE WENT OFF INTO THE MONSTERLANDS ON A QUEST AND PROMISED THAT WHEN HE WOULD COME BACK WE WILL SETTLE THE SCORE AT ONCE. BUT HE NEVER CAME BACK. I WAITED FOR SEVERAL YEARS AND RECENTLY I DECIDED TO VENTURE MYSELF IN THESE LANDS, LOOKING FOR HIM. I LEARNT ABOUT A POWERFUL SORCERESS THAT COULD HELP ME LOCATE HIM AND I ATTACKED HER LAIR."

Kobold Empress: "Oooooh! That was Konda, right?"

"INDEED. I LEARNT THAT IN ORDER TO HAVE HER AID I WILL HAVE TO DEFEAT HER CHAMPION AND ARMY. I CLEAVED THROUGH IT AND FACED HER DEATHKNIGHT. OUR DUEL WENT ON UNTIL I MANAGED TO DEFEAT HIM, BUT UNFORTUNATELY THE WOUNDS AND EXHAUSTION HAD THE BEST OF ME, AND I SPIRED IN HER THRONE ROOM CURSING FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO MEET MY RIVAL ONCE MORE."

I MOTION TO KONDA

"AND THEN I AWOKE ANEW. MISTRESS KONDA HAD RAISED ME AND CLAIMED ME AS HER NEW CHAMPION. MOVED BY MY WORDS, SHE DECIDED TO TAKE TIME OFF HER... STUDIES TO HELP ME FIND MY RIVAL, SO THAT I CAN FACE HIM IN BATTLE. WHICH... IS WHY WE ARE HERE, ACTUALLY."
>>
No. 700680 ID: efd640
File 145510768773.jpg - (66.71KB , 670x600 , AMHQ065.jpg )
700680

THE EMPRESS GRABS MY HAND

Kobold Empress: "Oooh, so it's a tale that just begun? That's really interesting. My duties and life tend to be really dull and repetitive, so i always appreciate a good story or someone that knows how to have [i]fun around. I hope to hear more when things develop more![/i]"

PHEW. IT SEEMS IT WORKED OUT WELL. I DIDN'T EVEN HAD TO LIE TOO MUCH.

Kobold Empress: "On another note..."
>>
No. 700681 ID: efd640
File 145510775899.jpg - (46.55KB , 470x640 , AMHQ066.jpg )
700681

Kobold Empress: "Your hand and legs are really warm! How is it possible?"

OH.
CRAP.
>>
No. 700682 ID: 89f1b4

...An odd anomaly due to me being raised while only half dead.
>>
No. 700683 ID: 5ea852

Normal decomposing process. Rot produces energy in the form of warmth. Thankfully, you still haven't reached the bloating stage of rotting, where your inner organs will explode outwardly once you have enough gas trapped inside your body, produced by bacteria and insects.
>>
No. 700684 ID: e4abe1

>>700681
I was rised just after i died, so my decomposition stopped and kind of behave like i was still alive, I still retain most of my body functions too!
>>
No. 700686 ID: 3d2d5f

Pay attention to Konda, she's gonna make some interesting expressions, here.

>"Your hand and legs are really warm! How is it possible?"
I am no expert in such magics, Empress. Skill on the part of my mistress? A blessing of the (dark) gods? The burning passion of the quest that sustained me past death?
>>
No. 700690 ID: 5ea852

I'm starting to think that the Kobold Empress knows exactly what's going on here. And assumes some other things of decadent nature.

Why else would there be smutty literature in the library?
>>
No. 700692 ID: b17b81

She knows. It explains why she personally invited you and konda, why she is sitting on your lap, and why the food thing was mentioned. Im pretty sure the human knight in a monster meeting thing is fun/unusual/exciting enough that she wont out us. I have a feeling there will be strings attached though.
>>
No. 700694 ID: 665ed8

She knows, but we should still keep going. She is probably enjoying trying to force us into a corner
>>
No. 700699 ID: 13ac27

Magic
>>
No. 700700 ID: 2ccbb3

Necromancy has made a few leaps and bounds. The veins are still there, it isn't hard to replace the heart of an undead with a pump. Among other things.

Replacing vital organs doesn't fully resurrect an undead, but the resemblance of life increases combat effectiveness and stuff.
>>
No. 700704 ID: 2a7417

That would be the decomposition process beginning. In a few days, I'm going to need lavender perfume like you wouldn't BELIEVE.
>>
No. 700717 ID: 92a560

Weak fire runes.
>>
No. 700720 ID: 72c773

You spend a great deal of time laying on warm coals to keep your body feeling warm. Mistress finds warm undead to be less off putting to any guests she chooses to entertain.
>>
No. 700722 ID: efd640
File 145512746176.jpg - (62.75KB , 630x600 , AMHQ067.jpg )
700722

"I... UUUUUH... WELL! UH..."

CRAPCRAPCRAP

"I HAVE NO IDEA! MISTRESS KONDA MIGHT ANSWER YOU BETTER ABOUT THIS. I WAS RATHER IGNORANT ABOUT MAGIC EVEN BEFORE DYING..."

I TURN JUST IN TIME TO SEE KONDA ALMOST CHOKE ON THE FOOD.

Konda: "It's uuuuuh... probably related to the enchantments i used in conjunction on how Sir Deathy conditions were when he... died. The body might have reacted weirdly to the spell since i... reanimated it immediately after. His body functions were... uuh... still going so the body might have not recognized it is dead yet. Which should end when the... ehm... rotting process end. But for now he might have mantained part of his... previous bodily functions..."
>>
No. 700723 ID: efd640
File 145512763116.jpg - (65.84KB , 700x600 , AMHQ068.jpg )
700723

Kobold Empress: "Really? Is that even possible?"

Konda: "W-why. Yes! I have b-been studying necromancy for a really long time and yet the r-rules behind it still aren't s-set in stone. T-the reason i d-decided to allow my new bodyguard to persevere in h-his quest is because i want to study what hap-happened with the rituals. M-maybe i'll even be able to replicate it later"
>>
No. 700724 ID: efd640
File 145512792589.jpg - (62.24KB , 710x600 , AMHQ069.jpg )
700724

Kobold Empress "That's quite impressing! And if you manage to work that out, you'll even be able to actually resurrect people?"

Konda: "W-well, yeah! That's a possibility. It would be a great task to be able to resurrect someone with the use of pure arcane magic rather than divine."

WELL, IT DOES SEEM THAT TALKING ABOUT MAGIC MANAGED TO CALM KONDA DOWN. THE SITUATION COULD HAVE GONE REALLY BADLY.

Kobold Empress: "And i can also see how even having them partially alive would be a good improvement. Having a..."
>>
No. 700725 ID: efd640
File 145512798325.jpg - (58.87KB , 710x600 , AMHQ070.jpg )
700725

Kobold Empress: "warm body to interact with is surely better than the cold, rotting body of a normal undead!"
>>
No. 700726 ID: efd640
File 145512809765.jpg - (36.24KB , 600x600 , AMHQ071.jpg )
700726

UH-OH!

MY BROTHER'S NOTES WERE RIGHT ABOUT KOBOLDS. THEY DO HAVE PREHENSILE TAILS!

Kobold Empress: "Don't you think so too, Sir Deathy~?
>>
No. 700727 ID: cdf73f

Bad touch

BAD TOUCH!!
>>
No. 700731 ID: 2ccbb3

Ward off the empress by stating that corpses lose their bowel control and put diarrhea to shame with the constant ^&*(ting of unprocessed rotting flesh and intoxicated blood.

Also, you didn't wash your ass.
>>
No. 700733 ID: df99b9

Please don't be rude or crude. I doubt she'll actually do anything while konda is there. Try to ignore it as best you can and get konda to make up a reason to leave if you cant.
>>
No. 700735 ID: 38cb3f

Play along, she has information you need to get, and if you push her away, you might lose your chance!
>>
No. 700736 ID: e1f641

Say probably, but your chivalric duties prevented you getting from engaging in many non-violent body interactions when you were alive, and your chivalry endures even in death!
>>
No. 700739 ID: 5ea852

Tell her that you honestly wouldn't know. Most of your experience with bodies other than your own was with a cold, hard steel interacting with them through its sharpened end.

Plus, a knight as single-minded as you had little time to pursue companionship of others.

As a precaution for your safety, do clench your butthole hard.
>>
No. 700741 ID: 665ed8

Sayit is irrelevant as your knight's honor prevents you from engaging in such acts outside of wedlock
>>
No. 700760 ID: 4854ef

Ignore it! If you bring attention to it you'll only spur her onward, think of it as a challenge you must overcome!
>>
No. 700794 ID: 02422f

>And if you manage to work that out, you'll even be able to actually resurrect people?
Whups. We jumped from interesting undead to resurrections. Hopefully we didn't raise the bar too much for poor Konda.

>>700726
...perhaps you should try to redirect the conversation to the questions you were interested in posing her?
>>
No. 700813 ID: f29c01

Kobolds hate fun! DONT BE FUN!
>>
No. 700814 ID: f29c01

Or rather due to my ineptitude, "Kobolds hate people who are no fun".
>>
No. 700965 ID: 7675b5
File 145519693507.jpg - (86.92KB , 600x750 , AMHQ072.jpg )
700965

OK. STEEL THYSELF, SIR LAYTON. REMEMBER. YOU ARE A HOLY KNIGHT, AND YOU SHALL NOT FALL FOR THE ADVANCES OF MONSTERS.

"I WOULDN'T KNOW, YOUR HIGHNESS. BEFORE DEATH I WASN'T AS SOCIAL AS OTHER KNIGHTS WERE. ALL MY INTERACTIONS HAVE BEEN THROUGH STEEL AND VIOLENCE. I HAVEN'T HAD ANY OTHER REAL SOCIAL INTERACTIONS WHEN I WAS ALIVE. EVEN DURING TOURNAMENTS."

Kobold Empress :"That's such a pity. But now that your previous life is over and your new 'life' has begun, you might try something different, no?"

"I STILL HAVE MY VENGEANCE TO COMPLETE. AND EVEN AFTER THAT, I SHALL SERVE MISTRESS LADY KONDA, AND BE BOUND TO HER ORDERS AND WISHES."

THE EMPRESS SMILES. AND SOMEHOW I DON'T FEEL ANY BETTER ABOUT IT.

Kobold Empress :"Of course~. You are in Konda's service and will service her as much as she asks, no?"

"WELL OF COURSE. THAT IS THE DUTY OF A KNIGHT."

Kobold Empress :"Snrk! How chivalrious~"

I GET THE FEELING I MISSED SOMETHING, BUT IT'S NOT REALLY EASY FOCUSING ON THE CONVERSATION WHILE I TRY TO RESIST TEMPTATION AT THE SAME TIME.
>>
No. 700966 ID: 7675b5
File 145519728848.jpg - (55.76KB , 800x480 , AMHQ073.jpg )
700966

Kobold Empress :"What about you, lady Konda? Was his plead to overcome his rival the only driving motivation for his reanimation?"

Konda: "Oh. Uh, no. I-i saw potential in his actions. I d-didn't think he'd r-r-retain his memories when he raised. I was just astonished by the fact that he managed to c-cleave through my army! I t-though he'd make a good bodyguard for my person"

Kobold Empress :"Oh i can imagine. Taking on entire armies must require a lot of stamina and raw power. I believe you might have picked a good candidate to take care of your... well-being~"
>>
No. 700967 ID: 7675b5
File 145519753528.jpg - (77.51KB , 600x600 , AMHQ074.jpg )
700967

I SHOULD DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT GETS TOO LATE. I MUST REMEMBER THAT I AM HERE TO GAIN INFORMATIONS ABOUT MY BROTHER.

"I BEG YOUR PARDON, YOUR HIGHNESS. I'D WISH TO ASK A COUPLE QUESTIONS, BEFORE MY MIND... SLIPS AWAY. THE SPELL MIGHT NOT BE REALLY WORKING TOO WELL FOR NOW AND I'M AFRAID I'D FORGET IF MY BRAIN STARTS TO ROT. I'M SURE LATER MISTRESS KONDA CAN FIX IT."

Kobold Empress: "Oh! But of course! I was forgetting that it was the whole point of the dinner. Sometimes i get forgetful when i'm having fun~. What do you want to know?"
>>
No. 700972 ID: 3d2d5f

You seek word of another human who ventured into the monster lands, several years ago. Have you heard rumors of the exploits or travels of Sir Humpy?
>>
No. 700986 ID: 41ada0
File 145521598623.jpg - (39.16KB , 500x600 , AMHQ075.jpg )
700986

"HAVE YOU HEARD OF A KNIGHT THAT CAME IN THE MONSTERLANDS ALMOST SEVEN YEARS AGO? NAMED SIR HUMPREY MCMANHAMMER? HE IS THE ONE I SEEK."

Kobold Empress: "Humprey? Mcmanhammer? Mmmmmmh. No, i don't think. There have been a bunch of knights coming and going from the monsterlands. But most of them either got lost or died without us knowing their names."

OH NO. HOW WILL I KNOW WHERE TO POINT MY ANGER AND HOLY RAGE AGAINST IF I DON'T KNOW WHO KILLED MY BROTHER...
>>
No. 700988 ID: 41ada0
File 145521640711.jpg - (55.88KB , 600x600 , AMHQ076.jpg )
700988

SHE FINALLY GETS OFF MY LAP, FREEING ME FROM HER GRASP.

Kobold Empress: "Though... I heard rumors coming from the northern realms about a couple of kingdoms being shaken by the arrival of a powerful human knight. Considering the fact that the man you are looking for is stronger than you. And that you managed to defeat an entire army of undead, i do believe it might be him"

"AND YOU KNOW HIS NAME?"

Kobold Empress: "No, but the rulers of the iron mountain kingdoms are coming here for the council in about 3 days."

She gestures to her servants and grabs a cup of wine.

Kobold Empress: "I can ask them more informations before they arrive, or have my servants do some investigations."

"THAT WOULD BE GREAT, YOUR HIGHNESS."
>>
No. 700989 ID: 41ada0
File 145521659902.jpg - (52.88KB , 600x600 , AMHQ077.jpg )
700989

Kobold Empress: "But..."

UH?

Kobold Empress: "I am not going to do this for free. If i'm going to do this for you, you two will have to do something for me too. A favour for a favour."

SHE TURNS AND SMILES MALICIOUSLY

Kobold Empress: "I scratch your back, you scratch mine. What do you say?"
>>
No. 700990 ID: 2815dd

You bang that kobold right now damn it.
It's the only way.
>>
No. 700991 ID: e4abe1

>>700990
That's the ONLY solution!
>>
No. 700992 ID: d283ef

The only reasonable response (especially with an evil smile like that) is that you don't know if you can accept until you know what the favor is.

But probably, yes.

(inb4 it's literally you scratching each other's backs)
>>
No. 700994 ID: 6cb462

scratch her back... literally.
>>
No. 701006 ID: 5ad4a7

>>700989
>maliciously
Maybe we shouldn't agree to anything.

Tell her she doesn't need to trouble herself on your behalf. The information she's given you will be more than enough!
>>
No. 701007 ID: 736e0b

Scratch her back.

Rake your sword against it if necessary, but you gotta satisfy that itch.
>>
No. 701008 ID: 6cb462

>>701006
Indeed. We wouldn't want our cover as a undead soldier blown
>>
No. 701010 ID: 9b5975

You'll do anything so long as it's honorable.
>>
No. 701016 ID: 0ee8aa

Since she already knows the favor she's paying us it would only be fair that we know what favor we would owe her.
>>
No. 701022 ID: f53147

Do it, any price is worth this
>>
No. 701023 ID: 5ea852

Tell her that you cannot make such a decision on your own as you are Konda's property. And inconveniencing one's mistress is highly unchivalrous.

On an unrelated note, PURE KNIGHTO DESERVES PURE WAIFU.
>>
No. 701024 ID: 41ada0
File 145522624179.jpg - (66.92KB , 800x600 , AMHQ078.jpg )
701024

"I WOULD BE UP TO HONOR YOUR REQUEST YOUR OFFER, YOUR HIGHNESS. EVEN IMMEDIATELY IF IT MEANS GETTING YOUR HELP"

Kobold Empress: ""Oh, my. So eager ~"

"BUT I AM STILL PROPERTY OF LADY KONDA. AND I CANNOT AGREE TO ANYTHING THAT IT'S NOT HONORABLE AND OK FOR HER."

Konda: "Noooooooo, don't bring me in thiiiiis"
>>
No. 701025 ID: 41ada0
File 145522648363.jpg - (62.10KB , 600x700 , AMHQ079.jpg )
701025

Kobold Empress: "Would there be any problems with it, Lady Konda?"

Konda: "I... i-i don't know, your highness. W-would you mind let me think about it?"

Kobold Empress: "But of course~ My favour doesn't need to be answered now. Take your time to think about it. My offer is always valid~"

SHE DRINKS FROM HER CHALICE

Kobold Empress: "And in case we can work something that will satisfy everyone.~"
>>
No. 701027 ID: f53147

Inform her that since she knows the nature of the favor she is doing it is required you know yours.
>>
No. 701028 ID: 41ada0
File 145522663558.jpg - (77.89KB , 800x550 , AMHQ080.jpg )
701028

THE REST OF THE DINNER GOES ON QUIETLY, WITH MINOR CHITCHAT ABOUT MAGIC THAT SEEMS TO HELP KONDA RELAX A BIT.

WE GET BACK TO OUR ROOM AFTER THAT. IT'S KINDA LATE BUT WE COULD STILL TAKE A LOOK AT THE BOOK.

"WELL THAT WENT ALRIGHT, NO?"
>>
No. 701029 ID: 41ada0
File 145522686629.jpg - (77.63KB , 900x550 , AMHQ081.jpg )
701029

Konda: "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuurgh"

"WHAT'S WRONG?"

SHE FLOPS ON THE BED HEADFIRST.

Konda: "Too much social iteraction... I'm exhausted..."

"YOU WERE KINDA NERVOUS, BUT YOU DID A GOOD JOB."

Konda: "At least... the food was good..."

AT LEAST SHE GOT TO EAT. YOU DIDN'T GET ANYTHING SINCE YOU STILL HAD TO POSE AS AN UNDEAD, DESPITE THE LIE YOU AND KONDA CAME OUT...
>>
No. 701030 ID: 1009ca

PUT IT IN HER BUTT
>>
No. 701032 ID: 2ccbb3

Order room service. Get the good steak with pomegranate juice, because catering is expensive whether you order scrambled eggs or the whole chicken.
>>
No. 701034 ID: f53147

Use her butt as a seat. Pat her on the head and tell her she did well. Perhaps you can train her to become good?
>>
No. 701035 ID: 6cb462

To be polite, lets wait out on the book reading, she seems too tired for that. Room service sounds good though.
>>
No. 701037 ID: 5ea852

Land on the bed yourself like an angel in the snow. Offer her some praise for doing so well under pressure.
>>
No. 701039 ID: 02422f

>At least... the food was good...
I don't suppose we have any snacks or rations? You disguise meant you didn't get to eat.

Thank her for getting you that audience, and providing you cover. You understand being included in any bargaining with the Empresses is a burden, and you will do your best to repay this favor!

>I'm exhausted
>face down
Offer relating back rubs to mistress / the sorceress you honorably owe a favor to repay?
>>
No. 701041 ID: 99a64d

>>701030
PUT IT ON HER BUTT
Your butt that is.

Pester her to find you some food.
>>
No. 701043 ID: 5ea852

Resist the urge to touch the tail. In either sense of the word.
>>
No. 701047 ID: 5ad4a7

>>701035
Yeah.

Also tell her about your theory of your brother putting code in his notes via appearance of perversion just to keep people from delving too deep into it.
>>
No. 701067 ID: ce9fab

Next time that you see the empress ask her why she covers her chest? Is it just a social convention or is she doing it to appease the visitors?
>>
No. 701088 ID: 7b65b9

So, is there some type of knightly rule that forbids human-monster relationships, or is it just frowned upon?
>>
No. 701089 ID: 5ea852

>>701088
It's more likely that stuff like that is highly unorthodox. As in, humans and monsters don't have much contact with each other that doesn't involve pointy bits.
>>
No. 701193 ID: a4156b
File 145528320220.jpg - (71.88KB , 800x475 , AMHQ082.jpg )
701193

"I AM SORRY AGAIN ABOUT PUTTING YOU IN THESE SITUATIONS. I PROMISE I WILL MAKE IT UP WHEN EVERYTHING IS OVER."

Konda:"It's...ok... i said i'd give... my aid. Wish i wouldn't feel like crap right now though...
>>
No. 701194 ID: c45b7e

>>701029
IT is not safe to sleep in clothing! ONE COULD CATCH A COLD!
>>
No. 701195 ID: a4156b
File 145528335020.jpg - (75.60KB , 800x570 , AMHQ083.jpg )
701195

"WELL I THINK I CAN HELP WITH THAT AT LEAST"

Konda: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"YOU ARE TOO TENSE, YOUR BODY WON'T REST WELL LIKE THIS. I LEARNT THIS WHEN I WAS TRAINING WITH MY BROTHER. STIFF MUSCLES NEED TO BE RELAXED BEFORE RESTING."

Konda: "IT'S FINE! I'M FINE THERE IS NO N...
>>
No. 701196 ID: a4156b
File 145528342005.jpg - (101.74KB , 800x570 , AMHQ084.jpg )
701196

Konda: "...Nnnnnnevermind please never stop that..."

GODS, HER MUSCLES ARE ALL CRAMPED UP. HOW CAN SOMEONE GET SO TENSE BY JUST TALKING...
>>
No. 701197 ID: a4156b
File 145528359384.jpg - (40.61KB , 500x600 , AMHQ085.jpg )
701197

"I KNOW YOU MIGHT BE TOO TIRED TO HELP ME DECODE THE BOOK RIGHT NOW, BUT I WANTED TO DISCUSS WITH YOU ABOUT A THEORY. YOU SEE THE BOOK AND MY BROTHER'S NOTES HAVE A LOT OF SIMILARITIES BUT THE FIRST IS WRITTEN AS A EROTICA NOVEL COLLECTION. I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE A WAY TO HIDE THE REAL CONTENT FROM WHOEVER DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO READ IT. WHAT DO YOU THINK?"
>>
No. 701198 ID: a4156b
File 145528366573.jpg - (54.81KB , 800x550 , AMHQ086.jpg )
701198

OH.

SHE FELL ASLEEP.

NEVERMIND, WE CAN RESUME THIS DISCUSSION TOMORROW AFTER WE HAVE BOTH RESTED AND EATEN.

SPEAKING OF, I NEED TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT.
>>
No. 701199 ID: a4156b
File 145528375354.jpg - (42.18KB , 750x600 , AMHQ087.jpg )
701199

I THOUGHT I COULD CALL ROOM SERVICE, BUT I CAN'T RISK THEM SEEING HER ASLEEP AND REALIZE THE FOOD ISN'T ACTUALLY FOR HER.

AFTER TUCKING HER IN I WANDER DOWNSTAIR, THE KITCHEN SHOULD BE... OH HERE IT IS.
>>
No. 701200 ID: a4156b
File 145528388175.jpg - (52.35KB , 550x700 , AMHQ088.jpg )
701200

"GREETINGS! I HOPE I DON'T BOTHER ANYONE, BUT MY MISTRESS WISHES TO HAVE A LATE NIGHT SNACK. DO YOU THINK YOU CAN COOK SOME MEAT FOR HER, MAYBE A GOOD "
>>
No. 701201 ID: a4156b
File 145528397302.jpg - (65.96KB , 800x600 , AMHQ089.jpg )
701201

"STTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTH..."

Minotaur Servant: "sttttttth what?"
>>
No. 701202 ID: 0ee8aa

You know what is good for a late night snack. A warm glass of milk. I can't quite put my finger on why I thought of that just now.
>>
No. 701205 ID: 3d2d5f

>>701201
Don't order the beef. Or dairy.

>>701196
Lay on hands is apparently super effective versus stressed snakey ladies.
>>
No. 701206 ID: 5ea852

>>701201
STTTTTTTTTTTARGAZY PIE.

It's a pie made of fish and it's the only way to avoid anything bovine related.
>>
No. 701209 ID: 020b5e

Stir fry?

Stuffed chicken? Stuffed pork steak?

Oh, stew! Stew makes sense! I mean it would be a bit much to ask them to cook that for a snack but it's a really common meal when cooking for large numbers so you can say "stew, if you have any leftover".
>>
No. 701210 ID: 3641d4

Ask for cookies.
>>
No. 701212 ID: 5ea852

Well, this went...TITS up.
>>
No. 701213 ID: 1009ca

cheesecake
>>
No. 701216 ID: 00fdec

Stew?
>>
No. 701224 ID: 5ea852

Receive a flashback from your childhood related to an unfortunate incident with your serf's cow.
>>
No. 701228 ID: c45b7e

>>701201
...be confident. Say something intelligent Sir Knight.

"STTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTH...ILK. YES. MILK. WAIT! NO. STHILK. MILK OF SPIDER" Perfect.
>>
No. 701229 ID: a4156b
File 145530287864.jpg - (72.38KB , 800x550 , AMHQ090.jpg )
701229

"STEW!"

Minotaur Servant: "Stew? At this hour of the night?"

"YES! IT'S MY MISTRESS FAVOURITE'S SNACK"

Minotaur Servant: "Do you even know how much it takes to make stew? I am already the last one left here at work and i am done for tonight!"

"I AM SORRY. BUT CAN'T YOU MAKE SOMETHING ELSE QUICKLY? I'D REALLY WISH NOT TO DISAPPOINT MY MISTRESS. I... JUST STARTED WORKING FOR HER."

SHE SIGHS

Minotaur Servant: "Ok, listen. Maybe i can cook something up, but i need to take care of something first. It has been really busy today, we had to prepare several different meals, plus the empress had guests for dinner and everything. Maybe you can help me out and i'll get you a snack for your mistress."

"WHAT DO YOU NEED HELP WITH?"
>>
No. 701232 ID: a4156b
File 145530317847.jpg - (92.87KB , 600x650 , AMHQ091.jpg )
701232

Minotaur Servants: "These! I didn't have time to milk today and they are seriously aching. Can you lend me a hand in the process? They are kinda sensible and maybe you'll get it done faster than me..."
>>
No. 701233 ID: 1009ca

Inb4 milking
>>
No. 701234 ID: 1009ca

>>701233 >>701232
AAAAAAAAAARFGHFHSDFH
>>
No. 701235 ID: 1009ca

>>701232
CLEARLY YOU SHOULD HELP THE LADY IN HER PREDICAMENT
>>
No. 701236 ID: a4156b
File 145530332918.jpg - (58.65KB , 800x480 , AMHQ092.jpg )
701236

WHAT IN THE NINE AND A HALF HELLS IS WRONG WITH THESE MONSTERS?
>>
No. 701237 ID: 1009ca

>>701236
WELL YOU WANTED A SNACK RIGHT?
>>
No. 701238 ID: cd886c

Do it
>>
No. 701239 ID: 65c56d

Hey, you can't leave a lady in need! Save the damsel in distress.

Besides, surely a knight isn't too proud to do a little farm work for a meal. Milking happens all the time.
>>
No. 701240 ID: 495c47

She does understand you have cold hands, right? literally cold like the grave?
>>
No. 701241 ID: 5ad4a7

>>701236
Grab dem titties
>>
No. 701243 ID: 6cb462

Wonder why a bovine would have breasts and not udders.
>>
No. 701244 ID: 799984

It would be unchivalrous to leave a lady in distress. Lend her a hand.
>>
No. 701245 ID: 34e4ed

Quit whining and start milking!

You can use the pot to hold the milk.
>>
No. 701246 ID: 5ea852

>>701236
>WHAT IN THE NINE AND A HALF HELLS IS WRONG WITH THESE MONSTERS?
Well, nothing wrong with them. Some women just have them that size.
...
He's not actually talking about her breasts, is he?


Welp, I think you should apply your massage techniques on a (relatively) smaller surface.
>>
No. 701247 ID: 5ea852

>>701243
Well, because a minotaur is only HALF-bovine.
The other half is man...or a woman, apparently.
>>
No. 701248 ID: ea54a4

She's probably very sore and needs to take care of it soon, but if she does it herself she won't have time to get you food. So are you going to let yourself go hungry all night while also ignoring a lady in distress?
>>
No. 701257 ID: 99a64d

They're monsters, what did you expect? You should be glad they've been this couth. Anyway, you've probably milked a cow before, so you know what to do. Now get to the tiddy grabban.
>>
No. 701262 ID: f56624

>>701232
nut up and grab those cow tats.
>>
No. 701263 ID: 2a7417

How does she want to do this? Lying down? Standing up? Sideways? Against the wall? Mutually?
>>
No. 701277 ID: a4156b
File 145531583901.jpg - (76.80KB , 800x570 , AMHQ093.jpg )
701277

"ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE OK WITH THIS? WE UNDEAD HAVE REALLY COLD HANDS..."

Minotaur Servant: "Then it's a good thing you are wearing gloves, no?"

WELL SHE GOT ME THERE...

"SURE THEN. HOW ARE... WE GOING TO... DO THIS?"

Minotaur Servant: "Sit on that stool, i'll put my hands on the wall and we should be good."
>>
No. 701278 ID: 1009ca

>>701277
squeeze them titties
>>
No. 701281 ID: a4156b
File 145531602059.jpg - (44.12KB , 800x460 , AMHQ094.jpg )
701281

OK.

I CAN DO THIS.

I HAVE MILKED COWS WHEN I WAS YOUNG WITH MY BROTHER. OUR DAD TOLD US THAT LABOR FORGES THE SPIRIT.

THIS SHOULDN'T BE TOO DIFFERENT, NO?

I MEAN, ASIDE FOR THE FACT THAT SHE'S MORE HUMAN-SHAPED THAN THE COWS I MILKED BACK IN THE DAYS...

Minotaur Servant: "Nnnn!"

"SORRY. DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG ALREADY?"

Minotaur Servant: "No, it's fine. they are just -nnnn- sensitive!"
>>
No. 701283 ID: a4156b
File 145531616840.jpg - (68.49KB , 800x530 , AMHQ095.jpg )
701283

COME ON. IT'S TOTALLY LIKE MILKING A COW.

A FEMALE HUMANOID COW.

THAT MOANS EVERYTIME I TOUCH HER.

GODS PLEASE MAKE THIS LESS AWKWARD!
>>
No. 701284 ID: a4156b
File 145531622306.jpg - (44.50KB , 600x600 , AMHQ096.jpg )
701284

Minotaur Servant: "Y-you know? you are actually really good at -nnn- this!"

THIS ISN'T HELPING!
>>
No. 701287 ID: a4156b
File 145531632319.jpg - (109.12KB , 800x530 , AMHQ097.jpg )
701287

Minotaur Servant: "Aaaaaaaaah! I really needed that. Thanks!"

"NO PROBLEM..."

Minotaur Servant: "Here, let me prepare something for your mistress!"

"YES, THANK YOU..."
>>
No. 701288 ID: a4156b
File 145531653348.jpg - (64.09KB , 600x680 , AMHQ098.jpg )
701288

Minotaur Servant: "There you go! And this is an extra for you. I know how important having strong bones is for undeads!"

SHE GIVES ME A BOTTLE OF MILK AND SOME CINNAMON PUDDING AND THEN PUSHES ME OUT OF THE ROOM.

Minotaur Servant: "I really need to close the kitchen now. Goodnight."

"GOODNIGHT"

THE BOTTLE OF MILK IS STILL PARTIALLY WARM...

WELL. AT LEAST I GOT SOMETHING TO EAT...
>>
No. 701290 ID: 5ad4a7

>>701288
...how is an undead supposed to drink the milk? Maybe there is no illusion and everyone's just playing along.

Oh well. Time to eat and then sleep.
>>
No. 701296 ID: 5ea852

Quickly retire to Konda's room. Check what you got for your meal and consume it. Keep the milk in your inventory, might be useful for something like a ritual or similar.

Oh, and most importantly, contemplate the fact that you went through a heavy petting session with a humanoid cow and how that might affect your status as an eligible bachelor back home.
>>
No. 701297 ID: 0ee8aa

What are you going to drink though? Don't tell me you plan to just go without fluid the whole time.
>>
No. 701299 ID: a22f87

well konda might like the milk so you can give that to her. I mean she's a monster and it's probably normal for monster to drink the stuff so no big deal right?
>>
No. 701301 ID: f0e552

>>701288
I mean... She is a cow, that's probably OK to drink.
>>
No. 701344 ID: 02422f

>>701288
Retreat to your room, enjoy the fruits of your labor.
>>
No. 701451 ID: 15720c

>>701290
Zombie-type undeads can still eat, it's just that they don't have to. And a skeleton type could use milk to polish their bones, probably.
>>
No. 701498 ID: 5ea852

Should...should you heat up the milk to kill any possible germs?
>>
No. 701499 ID: 40643c
File 145537048705.jpg - (65.38KB , 600x600 , AMHQ099.jpg )
701499

WELL, I'M BACK AT KONDA'S ROOM.

I AM NOT REALLY SURE I SHOULD EVEN TRY THIS MONSTER FOOD.

BUT I CAN'T REALLY GO WITHOUT EATING ANYTHING FOR ALL THE TIME I AM HERE...

...

IT...

IT IS ACTUALLY GOOD...

I'M STILL NOT SURE ABOUT DRINKING THE MILK AT ALL. NOT WHEN I STILL KNOW WHERE IT CAME FROM.
>>
No. 701500 ID: 40643c
File 145537059614.jpg - (49.33KB , 600x600 , AMHQ100.jpg )
701500

URGH.

I HOPE NO ONE IN MY HOMETOWN GETS TO KNOW WHAT I DID. I'D BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF MY COMRADES. AND EVEN WORSE MY FAMILY WOULD PROBABLY DISOWN ME.

IT'S ALMOST A GOOD THING HUMPY MIGHT BE DEAD TOO, I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FACE HIM. WHAT WOULD HE EVEN THINK OF ME.

I'M SORRY BROTHER. I AM DOING THIS TO AVENGE YOU.
>>
No. 701501 ID: 40643c
File 145537074057.jpg - (40.77KB , 600x600 , AMHQ101.jpg )
701501

TIME TO SLEEP.

ON THE FLOOR AGAIN, SINCE THERE IS A SINGLE BED IN THIS ROOM AND UNDEADS ARE STILL PROBABLY NOT SUPPOSED TO SLEEP.

IT'S OK THOUGH. I HAVE SLEPT IN WORSE PLACES, AND I NEED TO REST AS MUCH AS I CAN.
>>
No. 701502 ID: 0ee8aa

I'm sure Sir Humpy would understand. He sounds like he's the kind of person that would get why you did what you did.
>>
No. 701503 ID: 40643c
File 145537102159.jpg - (93.53KB , 850x700 , AMHQ102.jpg )
701503

KONDA WAKES ME UP. SHE HAS ORDERED A SIZEABLE BREAKFAST FOR HERSELF.

Konda: "Here. You might not be able to eat during the day, so you might want to get enough food in you to not fall during the day."

"THANK YOU. BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU? "

Konda: "Oh, don't mind about me. I ate a couple of scones from it already and i drank the bottle of milk you left on the desk."

"..."

Konda: "D-did i do something wrong? You were saving that for you?"

"NO, NEVERMIND. I DIDN'T REALLY FELT LIKE DRINKING THAT."

AFTER CLEANING OURSELVES UP, WE EXIT HER ROOM.

Konda: "S-so. What is your plan for today?"
>>
No. 701504 ID: 5ea852

Notice that Konda seems far more cheerful than yesterday.

Well, speaking of plans, she should read that book with you and help you decipher it.
You might want to find Kobold Empress's spymaster as that person might know a thing or two about the people who will come to the meeting.
You should check if there are any entertainment establishments here - tongues loosen when people have lots of fun.
And most importantly, you'd like to avoid the kitchen at all costs.
>>
No. 701505 ID: 36cace

Well, you have nothing to do for now, maybe later you can try to read the book, but for now? What does she want to do?
>>
No. 701506 ID: 5ea852

You'd like to know what's so special about her spherevision shows.
>>
No. 701529 ID: 02422f

>>701503
Well, unless we're prepared to strike some kind of bargain with the empress, we should probably see if there are any other leads to be followed.
>>
No. 701557 ID: 5ad4a7

Hmm, we could visit the training grounds.

First though, relay your idea about your brother's notes and the book you got.
>>
No. 701568 ID: 91ee5f

>>701503
I'm just wondering.....should we tell her where we got the milk?
>>
No. 701573 ID: 02422f

>>701568
Only at the most awkward possible moment. We're not there yet.
>>
No. 701589 ID: 15a025

Book reading time?
>>
No. 701590 ID: c43722

Before you go anywhere, gesture for Konda to lean down so you can whisper to her. Ask her who or what could potentially see through or dispel the illusion she placed on you and if they or it might be here already or coming here for the council meeting. You want to know who or what to avoid while moving about the place... Wait a second... Wouldn't the Kobold Empress' personal guard have some form of illusion detector, either a person or a device, as part of protecting her form assassination attempts? 'Cause if so then your cover was blown pretty much right after you met her and she's just been playing along the whole time.
>>
No. 701604 ID: 6cb462

read book.
>>
No. 701769 ID: b405ab
File 145545437884.jpg - (73.10KB , 800x550 , AMHQ103.jpg )
701769

"YOU SEEM CHEERFUL TODAY"

Konda: "I had a good night of sleep, somehow"

"GOOD TO HEAR. FOR TODAY I WAS THINKING WE COULD GET A LOOK AT THE BOOK I PICKED YESTERDAY."

Konda: "Oh right! Sure."

"BUT FIRST, COME HERE"

I MOTION HER TO COME CLOSER

"I WAS THINKING ABOUT YESTERDAY. IS YOUR ILLUSION STRONG? YESTERDAY THE KOBOLD EMPRESS WAS ABLE TO FEEL MY WARMTH"

Konda: "Yes, sure. It is only a visual effect, so it doesn't work on the other senses. but it's a really strong spell."
>>
No. 701770 ID: b405ab
File 145545457833.jpg - (58.87KB , 800x500 , AMHQ104.jpg )
701770

Konda: "Wait. Do you think the empress could have some wards against illusions? B-but my spell is really strong. There shouldn't b-b-be any way for anyone to see t-t-trhough it... B-b-but what if s-s-she has s-s-spies all over the place and they saw you w-w-w-without the mask? By the g-g-gods t-t-they'll kill me "

"DO NOT WORRY, I WAS JUST WONDERING I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT MAGIC. IF SHE HAD FIGURED THAT OUT WE'D BE ALREADY IN TROUBLE, NO?"

Konda: "Oh nonononono. Oh what have i done, i'm in so much trouble..."
>>
No. 701771 ID: b405ab
File 145545490049.jpg - (69.19KB , 700x600 , AMHQ105.jpg )
701771

WELL, THERE SHE GOES FREAKING OUT AGAIN.

I NEED TO FIND SOMETHING THAT SHOULD CALM HER DOWN AGAIN.

"IT'S OK. REALLY. WE SPENT A LOT OF TIME WITH HER AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE. LET'S FOCUS ON THE BOOK FOR NOW, AND LATER WE CAN WATCH YOUR SPHEREVISION PROGRAMS."

Konda: "Uh? Really? B-but you said i should stop."

"WELL, TAKING A BREAK FROM TIME TO TIME IS ALRIGHT. BESIDE, YOU REALLY LIKE THOSE, NO? HOW SO?"

Konda: "How so? You never watched 'Tales of original'?"

"NO"

Konda: "They are theatrical shows where an actor takes several over the top reactions to what is supposed to be..."

AAAAAND THERE SHE GOES TALKING AND RAMBLING ABOUT IT. AT LEAST SHE CALMED DOWN NOW.

"I SEE. MAYBE YOU CAN SHOW ME THOSE LATER, WHEN WE ARE DONE?"

Konda: "Sounds good! You are gonna love it. Now let's find a good spot and let's read that book!"

???: "NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
No. 701772 ID: b405ab
File 145545493307.jpg - (52.55KB , 800x440 , AMHQ106.jpg )
701772

Orc Chieftain: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRD!"
>>
No. 701782 ID: 3663d3

okay this you can deal with. "you have besmirched my mistress's honor, i demand restitution. name your challenge and if i best you then you must apologize"

can't decline a challenge, especially for a reason like that, would mean all the other orcs could say they were afraid of you.
>>
No. 701785 ID: 5ea852

>>701782
Chivalrous White Society supports this.
>>
No. 701794 ID: f6442a

Give him a chivalrous wedgie.
>>
No. 701796 ID: 1cebc8

Belch in his face.
>>
No. 701806 ID: 91ee5f

>>701771
>"NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>701772
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRD!"

For a second, I thought that was Piccolo from Dragon Ball Z Abridged.
>>
No. 701810 ID: 502e6f

>>701794
Chivalrous Wedgie Society supports this.
>>
No. 701815 ID: 02422f

>>701772
...how did you get in our chambers?

>>701782
Yes.
>>
No. 701854 ID: 67d5dc

Say, we need to replace Sorceress's deathknight for real at some point right? Those are some fiiiiine raw materials just waiting to be collected.

We'd need to get a brain from somewhere else though.
>>
No. 701862 ID: 5ea852

>>701854
Let's not actively enable her necromantic ways. It leads to self-imposed exclusion from society and interaction with lesser undead does not compare to actual people and high tier undead abominations.
>>
No. 701890 ID: 36cace

>>701782
>>701794

You cant just give someone a wedgie... challenge him to a wedgie duel!
>>
No. 701938 ID: 99a64d

>>701890
>You cant just give someone a wedgie
Actually, you totally can.
>>
No. 701943 ID: 91ee5f

>>701815
Wait, that's a good question! How the fuck did you get in our room? Wait, better question: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN OUR ROOM?!?!
>>
No. 701949 ID: 15a025

Quick he's on to us, kill him!
>>
No. 701954 ID: 389067

>>701815
>>701943

You missed a line in >>701503
>>
No. 702044 ID: 91ee5f

>>701954
Me fail reading?!?! IMPOSSIBRU!!!!! D8
>>
No. 702064 ID: c87f46
File 145553895634.jpg - (54.96KB , 740x600 , AMHQ107.jpg )
702064

"SIR! HOW DARE YOU! I DEMAND AN IMMEDIATE APOLOGY!"

Orc Chieftain: "A what?"

"YOU ARE GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO MY MISTRESS OR ELSE I'LL HAVE TO CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL FOR HER HONOR!"

Konda: "W-wait, l-let's calm down"

Orc Chieftain: "A challenge? Now that sounds fun!"

"THEN IT IS SETTLED! CHOOSE THE CHALLENGE, AND IF I WIN YOU'LL HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO HER AND TO MAKE IT EVEN FURTHER I'LL GIVE YOU A RIGHTFUL PULL OF PAIN! AND IN CASE YOU WIN YOU CAN NAME YOUR OWN PRIZE!"

Orc Chieftain: "That's Kinky! I'm in. If i win i'm gonna have fun with you, tincan! See you at the training ground in half an hour. I gotta eat breakfast first. Hope you like Wrestling. And have your ass served to you. Litterally!"

"IT IS YOUR ASS THAT WILL I SHALL SERVE TO MY MISTRESS!"
>>
No. 702067 ID: c87f46
File 145553917665.jpg - (51.71KB , 1000x400 , AMHQ108.jpg )
702067

LATER, AT THE TRAINING GROUNDS:

Konda: "It is your ass that i shall serve to my mistress... really?"

"RETORTS HAVE NEVEN BEEN MY FORTE!"

Konda: "Why did you have to pick a fight with an orc... I don't care if they call me nerd. I... am one..."

"AS LONG AS I AM YOUR GUARD AND KNIGHT, NO ONE WILL SOIL YOUR HONOR. I ALREADY SAID THAT."

Konda: "Y-you are going to get killed..."

"AS IF! I HAVE BEEN IN A LOT OF DUELS. I CAN TAKE ANYONE ONE ON ONE!"
>>
No. 702068 ID: c87f46
File 145553920420.jpg - (42.91KB , 600x600 , AMHQ109.jpg )
702068

AND HERE COMES MY OPPONENT!
>>
No. 702069 ID: 3641d4

Screw waiting, beat the shit out of him while he's eating.
>>
No. 702070 ID: c87f46
File 145553923540.jpg - (71.28KB , 1100x600 , AMHQ110.jpg )
702070

OPPONENTS?

WAIT... HOLD ON...
>>
No. 702071 ID: c87f46
File 145553941296.jpg - (68.89KB , 800x500 , AMHQ111.jpg )
702071

"AH-HEM SO, WHICH ONE OF YOU WILL I CHALLENGE?"

THEY THROW THEIR HELMETS AND CLOACKS OFF

Skullkini: "Doesn't matter tin-can! You challenge a chieftain, you challenge both chieftains! Right, brother?"

Femurpants: "YEAH! What my sis said!"

Skullkini: "Hope you are ready to get pummeled into the ground, Boney!"
>>
No. 702073 ID: 3663d3

unhook your armor and flex.
>>
No. 702074 ID: a9ff28

crap.
And I bet they totally do all sorts of tag-team shenanigans since they're twin siblings.
We're gonna want to divide and conquer, and do so quickly.
>>
No. 702076 ID: 5ea852

Just putting it out there, kicks in the gonads and cuntpunts were not technically dishonourable during tournaments, though a bit frowned upon.

Ascertain what kind of wrestling you're getting into: according to the style, you may or may not inflict or receive grievous bodily harm.

Since you're smaller than them, remember the teachings of Saint Mysterio, the Masked Monk.
>>
No. 702082 ID: 02422f

>>702071
We either need to take them one at a time, or we need to call in a second to help us take them 2 by 2.
>>
No. 702084 ID: c45b7e

>>702071
Time for cunt punts and cock punches. The undead know no honor.
>>
No. 702086 ID: 43678d

>>702071
>So be it! I’ll take the one whose name comes earlier in the alphabet.
>>
No. 702087 ID: 5ea852

Hey, you're skilled at massaging, so that probably means that you know everything about pressure points! Use that knowledge.
>>
No. 702088 ID: 5ea852

Since it's two on one, ask if it's okay to remain armoured up. Do not reveal the fact that armour does not limit your mobility by any significant margin.
>>
No. 702089 ID: 91ee5f

>>702071
Just to piss them off, let's pretend we didn't hear them say they're brother and sister and say this: "I see. You can't beat me by yourself, so you went and cloned yourself! And in an attempt to distract me, you made your clone a female! What an unusual battle strategy!"
>>
No. 702101 ID: 99a64d

>>702089
No, pretend that you can't even tell them apart. Accuse them of being too cowardly to face you one on one.
>>
No. 702106 ID: 5ea852

Ask them if orc siblings do everything together.

Then laugh while thinking about two orcs using the outhouse at the same time.
>>
No. 702108 ID: f6442a

Drop your training weights and B E G I N T H E P O U N D E N I N G
>>
No. 702112 ID: 2ff4af

>>702108
LIIMITU BREAKAH
>>
No. 702114 ID: c87f46
File 145556718396.jpg - (42.06KB , 800x350 , AMHQ112.jpg )
702114

"AND SO YOU DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER?"

Femurpants: "That's right!"

"IT HAS TO BE CROWDED IN YOUR OUTHOUSE THEN."

Skullikini: "SNRK!"

Femurpants: "Oh you are so going to get it, tincan!"

"WHAT IS WRONG? AFRAID TO GO ONE ON ONE?"

Femurpants: "THAT'S IT! I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU MYSELF!"

Skullikini: "Urgh. Alright i'll go second..."
>>
No. 702115 ID: c87f46
File 145556735852.jpg - (75.98KB , 800x560 , AMHQ113.jpg )
702115

Konda: "Why are you making them mad? They are gonna kill you!"

"I HAD TO TRY AND MANAGE TO FIGHT THEM ONE BY ONE. I CAN'T AFFORD TO FIGHT TWO AT THE SAME TIME..."

Konda: "Oh, i see. that's... actually clever."

"THANKS, WOULD YOU MIND KEEP MY ARMOR WHILE I FIGHT?"

Konda: "Uh. Sure."
>>
No. 702116 ID: c87f46
File 145556739835.jpg - (66.68KB , 600x700 , AMHQ114.jpg )
702116

Konda: "..."

Konda: "Wait... How? Where...?"
>>
No. 702117 ID: c87f46
File 145556749798.jpg - (57.17KB , 810x500 , AMHQ115.jpg )
702117

"SO WHAT ARE THE RULES?"

Femurpants: "First one to cry like a bitch or that is thrown out of the ring loses. Winner takes all!"

"ALRIGHT! MAY THE BEST WIN!"

Femurpants: "I will!"
>>
No. 702118 ID: c87f46
File 145556766095.jpg - (55.88KB , 800x400 , AMHQ116.jpg )
702118

LET'S TRY TO MAKE THIS QUICK!

NO NEED TO FIGHT HONORABLY! BETTER FINISH QUICK AND NOT WASTE TOO MUCH STRENGHT!

Femurpants: "OUCH! THAT STINGS, BITCH!!!"

I...

WAS HOPING THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN WAY MORE EFFECTIVE.
>>
No. 702119 ID: c87f46
File 145556772067.jpg - (58.22KB , 500x800 , AMHQ117.jpg )
702119

Femurpants: "I AM GONNA CRACK YOU OPEN LIKE A NUT!"

NNNNGH! HE GOT ME IN A BEARHUG.

DAMN I CAN'T MOVE!
>>
No. 702120 ID: a22f87

headbutt?
>>
No. 702121 ID: f6442a

Grab him with your legs and turn the tables!
>>
No. 702122 ID: 5ea852

Tickle him.
>>
No. 702123 ID: 13ac27

titty twister?
>>
No. 702124 ID: 5ea852

Do the completely unexpected thing and kiss the bloke!
>>
No. 702127 ID: 2ff4af

>>702119
headbutt, several times
>>
No. 702128 ID: 5ea852

>>702120
>>702127
FOOLS! Orc skulls are thick and their nasal bones are not prominent enough for a successful headbutt! Our knight friend will earn himself a concussion from that.
>>
No. 702131 ID: 2ff4af

>>702128
ah, right. banter then!
"wow orc-sama, I didn't realize you felt that way about me!! kyaa~!"
>>
No. 702135 ID: 5ad4a7

>>702128
Isn't he wearing a helmet under the bag though?
>>
No. 702136 ID: 5ea852

>>702135
Please educate yourself on the effects of blunt weapons on helmets.

Here, I'll even help you with it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi757-7XD94
>>
No. 702160 ID: 15a025

Just rip your way out.
>>
No. 702180 ID: 5ad4a7

>>702136
That is not the situation at hand.
>>
No. 702183 ID: 5ea852

>>702180
>implying that orcs don't use their heads as blunt instruments of force comparable to warhammers
>>
No. 702185 ID: 02422f

>>702119
HOLY HEADBUTT!

...unholy headbutt, I mean! Because I am an undead and not a paladin, yes.
>>
No. 702201 ID: f6442a

>>702183
>implying this knight doesn't use his helmet as a blunt instrument of force comparable to warhammers
>>
No. 702222 ID: f56624

Wait I have google at my disposal doi

apparently the solution to this grapple is to grab his hips, and push away while backing your own hips from theirs
then you just sorta slide out
>>
No. 702235 ID: 99a64d

Use your knees!
>>
No. 702276 ID: 63d92f

Compliment his eyes or his sister
>>
No. 702322 ID: 364ed6
File 145562906266.jpg - (51.02KB , 600x650 , AMHQ118.jpg )
702322

AS MY FATHER USED TO SAY: WHEN BRAWN ISN'T ENOUGH, USE YOUR HEAD TO GET OUT OF YOUR PROBLEMS!

Femurpants: "ORGH!"

GOOD I AM FREE. TIME TO COUNTERATTACK!
>>
No. 702323 ID: 364ed6
File 145562920626.jpg - (68.09KB , 800x520 , AMHQ119.jpg )
702323

Femurpants: "MY FUCKING NOSE I'M GONNA K... what are you doing?"

"TASTE THE WRATH OF THE MOST SECRET OF WRESTLING TECNIQUES!"

I TWIST HIS NIPPLE AS HARD AS I CAN.

HE FINALLY LETS OUT A PAINED HOWL.
>>
No. 702324 ID: 364ed6
File 145562937203.jpg - (74.06KB , 750x600 , AMHQ120.jpg )
702324

VICTORY IS MINE!

Skullkini: "Wow, he got you good, bro..."

Femurpants: "F-fuck you, sis..."

Skullkini: "WELL I HOPE YOU ARE READY TO FACE ME, TINCAN!"

"AND I HOPE YOU TWO ARE READY TO APOLOGIZE TO MY MISTRESS!"

Femurpants: "Wait... apologize for w..."

Skullkini: "YOU STILL GOTTA BEAT ME, SKINNY BOY!"

SHE CHARGES AT ME.
>>
No. 702328 ID: 3663d3

if the guy could basically ignore a crotch shot, she definitely can. do disabling hits.
>>
No. 702329 ID: 3d2d5f

Drop, and slam your shoulder into her shins so her charge flips her over you.
>>
No. 702332 ID: 5ea852

>>702329
This, or just to be safe, throw yourself at her shins in case she is more steady than normal. Gives you the additional chance that she'll tangle her legs in your body.
>>
No. 702335 ID: 8a3061

what is Konda so surprised about
>>
No. 702349 ID: 2ccbb3

Barrel roll and hit her legs while she's charging.
>>
No. 702364 ID: 5ad4a7

>>702324
I think you should punch her in the tit.
>>
No. 702368 ID: 99a64d

Hit her with a most knightly judo flip. (be careful to not let her near your groin)
>>
No. 702371 ID: 364ed6
File 145564988048.jpg - (66.83KB , 1000x550 , AMHQ121.jpg )
702371

RIGHT ON HER SHINS WITH ALL MY BODYWEIGHT!

THAT SHOULD THROW HER OFF BALANCE AND ALLOW ME TO TAKE OVER THE FIGHT!
>>
No. 702372 ID: 364ed6
File 145564999653.jpg - (133.13KB , 1290x600 , AMHQ122.jpg )
702372

THAT DIDN'T WORK AS I PLANNED!

SHE SOMEHOW REVERSED THE MOVE ON ME!

GOOD LORDS IT FEELS LIKE BEING TRAPPED IN A BEAR TRAP, WHAT ARE HER LEGS MADE OF, STEEL?

Skullkini: "What's the problem, Tincan? Can't move? Well don't worry. I'm gonna crush your neck swiftly HAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

I GOTTA FIND A WAY OUT QUICK!
>>
No. 702373 ID: 5ad4a7

>>702372
Tickle her feet!
>>
No. 702374 ID: 5ea852

Off with her footwear and start tickling.

Oh, and repeatedly nudge your head backwards.
>>
No. 702375 ID: 5c01c0

Tickle the feet, back of the knee, and/or thigh.
>>
No. 702376 ID: 5ea852

Is she too heavy for you to get up? If not, get up and start spinning around.
>>
No. 702382 ID: 2ccbb3

Just break her leg. Twist the foot until she surrenders.
>>
No. 702383 ID: 6cb462

Tickle her foot. to make it more effective, make sure you say "tickle tickle tickle" as you do it.
>>
No. 702388 ID: 1e0f3e

Twist a pinkie toe?
>>
No. 702392 ID: 5ea852

>>702388
You're a monster.
>>
No. 702394 ID: 99a64d

I find it unlikely that she's ticklish, that would be too convienient. Standing up to get her into some sort of pin or just breaking her foot/toes seem to be our best options.
>>
No. 702403 ID: f6442a

Shouldn't have skipped leg day, bro.
Enact a Shakespearean play with her toes.
>>
No. 702404 ID: 364ed6
File 145565834176.jpg - (196.90KB , 800x530 , AMHQ123.jpg )
702404

I AM NOT IN A GOOD POSITION TO SHOVE HER OFF ME. I GOTTA THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE.

MMMMMH...

Skullkini: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BACK THERE?"

"TICKLETICKLETICKLETICKLE"

BOY I AM GLAD NONE OF MY FRIENDS ARE HERE OR I WOULD NOT HEAR THE END OF THIS...


Skullkini: "WHA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHNOPLEASENOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSTOPITAHAHAHAHAAHSTOPITYOUBAHAHAHAHAHST-STARD!"

"YELD!"

Skullkini: "NEV-HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHOKOKOKIYELDSTOPIT!"

VICTORY IS MINE!

NOT A REALLY KNIGHTLY WIN, BUT I'LL TAKE IT.
>>
No. 702405 ID: 364ed6
File 145565865539.jpg - (69.21KB , 800x440 , AMHQ124.jpg )
702405

"NOW! BOTH OF YOU! APOLOGIZE TO MY MISTRESS!"

Femurpants: "Ok, hold on apologize for what?"

Skullkini: "I'm sorry"

"LOUDER!"

Skullkini: "I'm sorry i called your mistress a 'nerd'..."

Femurpants: "SIS DID YOU FUCKING PICK UP A FIGHT AGAIN?!?"

Skullkini: "No!"

Skullkini: "..."

Skullkini: "Maybe..."

Femurpants: "BY THE GODS! AGAIN?! WE ARE AT A COUNCIL! YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T GO PICK UP FIGHTS AS YOU'D DO IN A TAVERN! YOU TOLD ME SOMEONE CHALLENGED US TO A DUEL!"

Skullkini: "Well. He did!"

Femurpants: "BECAUSE YOU INSULTED HER MISTRESS!"

Skullkini: "Oh. Whatever. Let's go..."

Femurpants: "OH NO SIS! YOU AIN'T GETTING OUT OF THIS EASILY THIS TIME!"
>>
No. 702406 ID: 364ed6
File 145565891819.jpg - (60.41KB , 800x500 , AMHQ125.jpg )
702406

FEMURPANTS PUTS AN ARM AROUND MY SHOULDERS.

Femurpants: "Ok, listen lil guy. You won fair and square. I'm sorry my sis picked a fight with you, she tends to get bored at these councils so she tries to spice things up but she needs to learn that we are damn chieftains so we can't fuck things up. I'm gonna leave her in your hands. Come up with a punishment for her, she'll follow your orders to the letter."

Skullkini: "HEY!"

Femurpants: "NO, HEY YOU! I STILL CAN'T FEEL MY DAMN NIPPLE. YOU TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT AND SHUT UP!"

Skullkini: "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffffffffine! What you want me to do, tincan?"
>>
No. 702409 ID: f56624

>>702406
"Uh, I dunno. What can you do? And like, ultimately I defer to my mistress."
>>
No. 702412 ID: e18d6f

Lemme see dem titties?
>>
No. 702415 ID: f6442a

>BECAUSE YOU INSULTED HER MISTRESS
>HER
Oi! Don't make me purple the other nurple.
Your punishment is... You shall keep your impulsive mouth shut until the conference! You may communicate only by flexing.
>>
No. 702420 ID: 5ea852

I know the perfect punishment. She's going to watch that show with us and love every single minute of it.
>>
No. 702423 ID: 5ea852

>>702415
Don't look into it that much. Gnuk just mixes up the pronouns by accident sometimes.
>>
No. 702424 ID: 5ea852

Apologise for the harsh insults you hurled at him. You thought that the animosity was mutual.
>>
No. 702425 ID: 364ed6

>>702415
>>702423

Yeah, consider that i am currently updating 3 quests at the same time at around 11 pm so i am not really at my brightest XD
>>
No. 702493 ID: 15a025

Tickle torture.
>>
No. 702507 ID: c51493

>>702420
Yes.
>>
No. 702541 ID: 99a64d

Whatever punishment you were usually given back in your squire days.
>>
No. 702624 ID: 4171d1

>>702420
I'm gonna go with this as well. Should be a bad enough punishment for her sort.
>>
No. 702635 ID: 52977c
File 145571578743.jpg - (61.16KB , 800x550 , AMHQ126.jpg )
702635

"LET'S SEE... FOR YOUR PUNISHMENT. YOU SHALL JOIN ME AND MY MISTRESS IN WATCHING HER FAVOURITE SHOWS. AND YOU SHALL NOT MAKE NEGATIVE COMMENTS ABOUT IT!"

Skullkini: "FFFFFFFFfffff. Do i really have to watch that nerdy shit?"

"WOULD YOU PREFER A SESSION OF TICKLE TORTURE?"

Skullkini: "... I'll watch your stupid shows with you"

"GOOD! NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US. WE HAVE BOOKS TO READ!"
>>
No. 702636 ID: 52977c
File 145571598695.jpg - (57.33KB , 600x600 , AMHQ127.jpg )
702636

Konda: "While i certainly glad you won... i still think you shouldn't have picked a fight with the orcs. It could have turned ugly easily"

"NONSENSE! I AM ACTING AS YOUR KNIGHT TILL THIS IS OVER ANYWAY. WHOEVER QUESTION YOUR HONOUR OR DISS YOU WILL FACE ME. IT'S MY DUTY!"

Konda: "O-ok..."
>>
No. 702637 ID: 52977c
File 145571612742.jpg - (184.30KB , 800x500 , AMHQ128.jpg )
702637

Konda: "So, since my room is being cleaned, we can use one of the smaller reunion rooms near the forum as a quiet place to read. The door locks from the inside and it should be soundproof like the bedrooms."

THE ROOM IS INDEED SMALL AND THE ONLY FURNITURE IS A TABLE WITH STOOL AND A SHELF WITH REFRESHMENT ON.

"THIS WILL DO FINE! HERE. THIS IS THE BOOK I WAS TALKING ABOUT!"

I HAND HER THE BOOK.
>>
No. 702638 ID: 52977c
File 145571625367.jpg - (52.69KB , 800x600 , AMHQ129.jpg )
702638

Konda: "This... this is an collections of erotica novels..."

"YES! I THINK IT MIGHT BE WRITTEN IN THE SAME CODE AS MY BROTHER'S NOTES!"

Konda: "..."

Konda: "Ok, i am really confused. Are you really dense or are you just making fun of me?"
>>
No. 702639 ID: 3641d4

This is no laughing matter! We might have to let her in on our brothers secret code if we figure it out.
>>
No. 702640 ID: 5ea852

"Of course I am dense. One does not get this far with a flabby body."
>>
No. 702641 ID: 3663d3

if by dense you mean tough, then yes.

hmm, perhaps she should see your brother's notes, to compare.
>>
No. 702643 ID: 3d2d5f

I did explain insulting you in such a manner would be dishonorable. I would not mock you so! Knightly conduct only allows certain insults appropriate to combat against certain enemies. And it would be very rude of me, as helpful as you've been.

Also yes, you are dense. Metal armor is inherently so, and you pack your strength in a relatively small frame. ...why is your density important? Are we going swimming?

Explain your brother's coded notes. In detail.
>>
No. 702646 ID: 4854ef

Well you must understand lady konda, my brothers notes match these exactly! They may soon help me figure out what they mean by a demons ass that may help my holy lance raise! It even suggested that yours could be just as helpful, but I have yet to decipher the notes properly!
>>
No. 702654 ID: 5ea852

I am very proud of my density.
>>
No. 702658 ID: fbb6e8

Does sneaking around a convention of evil sound like something I'd do on a lark?

Although in retrospect it could be seen as a bad idea...
>>
No. 702662 ID: 5ad4a7

>>702638
Well it's not exactly the same code, it's more like your brother encoded his notes to make it seem like erotica.
>>
No. 702670 ID: fa18d4

I'm don't think i'm partivculary dense.... i mean, i somewhat float in water, even with the armor...
>>
No. 702677 ID: 15720c

> "Ok, i am really confused. Are you really dense or are you just making fun of me?"
Given the advancements and interactions among the Monsters... Erotic code is the perfect means of hiding a secret!

...Wait, if the living human that's been causing trouble for human kingdoms is Humpy, then couldn't that mean you're the one being decieved, and he's the one who's shamed the family?
>>
No. 702682 ID: b17b81

You're so smart you've looped around to seeming dense. Your brother's notes being coded in the same manner as a romance novel is either genius or incredibly stupid. And you know your brother is not an idiot, right? (Hard to circle around in this one without making the guy seem too stupid.)
>>
No. 702783 ID: 7b65b9

Ask her why your brother would write in a form similar to this if not it being his genius way to disguise his work from others. It makes sense since nefarious people would never stoop so low as to read this kind of literature.
>>
No. 703011 ID: 9ce7d0
File 145580300682.jpg - (59.98KB , 700x600 , AMHQ130.jpg )
703011

"I AM MOSTLY COVERED IN PLATED STEEL, OF COURSE MY DENSITY IS HIGHER! BUT IT DOESN'T HINDER MY MOVEMENTS."

Konda: "No. That's not what..."

"AND I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM SERIOUS ABOUT THIS QUEST! IT IS THE LEGACY OF MY BROTHER WE ARE TALKING ABOUT. I WIL DO WHATEVER IT'S NEEDED TO AVENGE HIM! I AM SURE MY BROTHER'S NOTES AND THIS BOOK ARE CONNECTED. I JUST NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT CONNETCS THEM AND MAYBE I'LL DISCOVER WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM!"

Konda: "..."

"SO, PLEASE. HELP ME."

Konda: "I... nnngh! Alright. I will help you figure out what your brother did, but i'm not sure you'll like what you might find"

"I SHALL ENDURE IT. FOR MY BROTHER!"

Konda: "Yeaaaaaaah... Just... let's get this over..."
>>
No. 703013 ID: 9ce7d0
File 145580341348.jpg - (72.05KB , 800x500 , AMHQ131.jpg )
703013

Konda: " the tale of sir Billings, the hunkiest of knights. An erotic collection... Really?"

"YES. I HAD THE LIBRARIAN READ ME THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS ALREADY BUT IT'S THE THIRD CHAPTER THAT TIPPED ME OFF."

Konda: "Wait you had someone read this for you?"

"YES. SHE GOT FLUSTERED HALFWAY THROUGH. I THINK IT MIGHT BE A WAY TO DISSUADE MONSTERS TO UNDERSTAND THE REAL CODE!"

Konda: "Gods, what am i doing...?"

SHE STARTS READING THE THIRD CHAPTER, WHILE I TAKE OUT A PILE OF BLANK PAPERS AND START TAKING NOTES AND WRITE DOWN WHAT I REMEMBER BEST OF MY BROTHER'S NOTES.

I STOP KONDA FROM TIME TO TIME AND SHOW HER THE CONNECTIONS, BUT ALL I GET IN RETURN ARE CONCERNED LOOKS...
>>
No. 703014 ID: 9ce7d0
File 145580365872.jpg - (56.41KB , 600x700 , AMHQ132.jpg )
703014

WE READ THROUGH THREE MORE CHAPTERS. AFTER DEALING WITH THE DARK ELF QUEEN AND HER TWIN, SIR BILLINGS FOUGHT A GORGON AND IN THIS LATEST CHAPTER HE IS CLEARLY TRYING TO OUTSMART A SUCCUBUS.

Konda:"And then i grasped her wings with both hands and... UH!"

SHE STOPPED READING ALOUD. SHE'S STARING AT THE BOOK, TILTING HER HEAD.

MAYBE SHE FOUND SOMETHING! I KNEW IT!
>>
No. 703015 ID: 9ce7d0
File 145580389891.jpg - (55.67KB , 600x600 , AMHQ133.jpg )
703015

Konda:"... UH!"

"WHAT IT IS? TELL ME! "

Konda:"What? N-No, nothing! it's just that..."

"YES? WHAT? PLEASE TELL ME!"

Konda:"I-I AM SURE THIS IS JUST ANATOMICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO DO!"

UH?
>>
No. 703016 ID: 211d83

Ah ha that must be a clue. Ask her to explain (or show) you why it would be impossible.
>>
No. 703018 ID: 3663d3

ah ha! something impossible must be in code of some kind.
>>
No. 703019 ID: 5ea852

What is impossible to do? There's nothing a knight can't achieve!
>>
No. 703020 ID: 3d2d5f

Aha! If it is impossible, that supports this being some kind of code rather than the telling of true events.

...how are you so sure it's impossible, though?
>>
No. 703021 ID: 3641d4

I get the feeling you're not going to like what she has to say...
>>
No. 703022 ID: b17b81

>>703015
(hahaha the butt drawing and arrow on his notes)

What's so impossible about it?
>>
No. 703023 ID: 665ed8

Does anyone else find it odd that a monster library would have a book from the point of view of a human? Also is anything impossible for a succubus regarding sex?
>>
No. 703038 ID: 2a7417

Remember this diagram. This is important.
>>
No. 703058 ID: 9ce7d0
File 145582433723.jpg - (79.62KB , 750x600 , AMHQ134.jpg )
703058

"WHAT IS IMPOSSIBLE? EXPLAIN! IT MUST BE A CLUE! IF IT POPS OUT SO "

Konda: "WHAT?! NO! It's just... i am sure that even a succubus can't be that nimble! Wh-whoever wrote this had no idea how anatomy must work!"

"NO, LISTEN! THE REST OF THE BOOK HAS BEEN COMPLETELY ON POINT WITH THE NOTES I STUDIED BACK AT HOME! IF THERE IS SOMETHING THAT POPS OUT IT SURELY MEANS IT'S SUPPOSED TO POP OUT LIKE THAT!"
>>
No. 703067 ID: 9ce7d0
File 145582483867.jpg - (61.00KB , 600x600 , AMHQ135.jpg )
703067

"COME ON, TELL ME WHAT IT SAYS!"

Konda: "It-it's not even that easy! I don't know how to explain it... and it took me three times to get what they... were... *ahem* doing."

"THEN MAYBE YOU CAN DRAW IT? OR SHOW ME?"

Konda: "WHAT!?! NO! I AM NOT DOING THAT!"

"THEN I'LL DO IT, JUST GIVE ME THE RIGHT INSTRUCTIONS, I CAN FIGURE IT OUT, I'M SURE!"

I STAND UP FROM THE CHAIR.

"I KNOW SOMETHING WILL COME UP!"

SHE GLARES AT ME

Konda: "S-S-SOMETHING DEFINITIVELY CAME UP!" SHE SCREAMS AS HER FACE TURNS COMPLETELY RED
>>
No. 703069 ID: 9ce7d0
File 145582491545.jpg - (57.72KB , 500x800 , AMHQ136.jpg )
703069

UH? WH-OH!

WELL, THIS IS AWKWARD...

THIS IS REALLY AWKWARD...

WHEN DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN?
>>
No. 703070 ID: 2ccbb3

Looks like your subconscious took a hint after all that whore material.

Just... don't touch it and knock yourself unconscious.
>>
No. 703075 ID: 1009ca

your boner is just more proof of konda's necromatic mastery!
>>
No. 703076 ID: 15a025

Think about something totally disgusting, that'll kill it.
>>
No. 703077 ID: 5ea852

Wait a minute...A holy lance...Then...You're a paladin. Lance can be a euphemism for male genitalia.

A HOLY LANCE HAS INDEED RISEN!
THESE NOTES WERE LEFT TO YOU BY YOUR BROTHER TO UNLOCK YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL!
>>
No. 703078 ID: 5ad4a7

>>703069
It's time to face the facts. You haven't found any hint of a code. All you've got is a boner.

Maybe... the boner is the goal of your brother's notes.
>>
No. 703106 ID: 2a7417

Readjust your sword in its scabbard.
>>
No. 703120 ID: 5ea852

>>703106
This is a good point. Where did your sword go?
>>
No. 703131 ID: b17b81

>>703077
Oh god, it was a euphemism for sex! All along! Even your brother's notes! Honestly, with how the monsters have been acting it kinda makes sense that he would think of them that way. He didn't go off on a quest for the greater good, he was on a pursuit for perverse poon!
>>
No. 703133 ID: 99a64d

Meh, these things happen. A hardened knight like yourself should hardly be phased.

Although... even if there is some code to this book, there's no guarantee that it'll lead you to your brother. It might be better to refocus our efforts on seeing if anyone at this convention knows where he went, rather than wasting time and effort on a potential wild goose chase. Maybe we can start by reexamining his notes to try to figure out where he might have gone?
>>
No. 703138 ID: c45b7e

>>703069
THE LANCE! BY MOST HOLY OF GUIDANCE DOES IT POINT TOWARDS ITS TRUEST TARGET!
>>
No. 703143 ID: 6cb462

>>703106
This
>>
No. 703147 ID: 02422f

>>703069
That's unusual. I'm not sure how it got past my codpiece!
>>
No. 703402 ID: 1d0ef8
File 145588969740.jpg - (71.13KB , 800x455 , AMHQ137.jpg )
703402

"I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT! HOW DID IT EVEN SLIP PAST THE CODPIECE"

Konda: "HOW WOULD I KNOW! J-JUST PUT IT BACK! OH GODS! IT TWITCHED!"

"MAYBE THE BOOK IS ENCHANTED SO THAT PEOPLE READING IT WILL HAVE THIS KIND OF REACTIONS, EVEN HOLY KNIGHTS LIKE ME AND MY BROTHER!"

Konda: "CAN YOU PLEASE FIX THAT BEFORE WE TALK MORE ABOUT THIS DISASTER?!?!"
>>
No. 703403 ID: 1d0ef8
File 145588986318.jpg - (49.99KB , 600x700 , AMHQ138.jpg )
703403

"SURE! RIGHT! HOLD ON A SECOND!"

GOTTA PUT BACK THE SWORD IN ITS SCABBARD.

HOW COME IT POPPED RIGHT NOW AND I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE?! I WAS TOO FOCUSED ON THE BOOK TO EVEN REALIZE...

WAIT. OH GODS DID I GET AROUSED AT THE STORIES OF A KNIGHT HAVING SEX WITH MONSTERS?

NO, IMPOSSIBLE! MY FAMILY WOULD DISOWN ME IF IT WAS TRUE. I COULDN'T FACE MY BROTHER AT ALL.
>>
No. 703404 ID: 47160d

Well let's do an experiment think as about all the female monsters you have met... Specifically think about fucking them
>>
No. 703405 ID: 1d0ef8
File 145589003577.jpg - (57.53KB , 600x750 , AMHQ139.jpg )
703405

NO. THERE MUST BE A BETTER EXPLANATION FOR ALL OF THIS. IT HAS TO BE SOME SORT OF SPELL. IT HAD A SIMILAR EFFECT ON THE LIBRARIAN TOO IF I REMEMBER...

LET'S FOCUS ON THE TASK AT END FIRST.

RELAX. THINK ABOUT YOUR TRAINING! CALM MIND IN A HOLY BODY!

...

THINK ABOUT HORRIBLE THINGS!

...

OK, THIS ISN'T WORKING. IT'S NOT GOING DOWN AND IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO TUCK IN...

BROTHER, GIVE ME STRENGHT. WHAT DO I DO?
>>
No. 703406 ID: 3663d3

go further, you need to loop around back to normal.
>>
No. 703407 ID: 92a560

Clearly it's a magical curse on the book, konda as a sorceress herself should be able to assist, ask her for help.
>>
No. 703409 ID: 5ea852

Try thinking about boring things. Like, count sheep in your mind or recite the genealogy of the kingdom's monarchs.
>>
No. 703410 ID: 5ea852

Quick, ask Konda to conjure up an illusion of your brother accusing you of failure and treason!
>>
No. 703412 ID: 5d6df6

Maybe you should take a rest, distract yourself for a moment and it may go away...

You may not like my plan, after all, It could not work and it may take sometime and it probably will require Konda's help. My plan is that both of you watch Konda's favorite Show, that way you may distract yourself... I think it may work.
>>
No. 703413 ID: 5ea852

This didn't happen the last time with the librarian. Think what could have caused it now.
>>
No. 703414 ID: 904bad

>>703407
This is the best solution
>>
No. 703421 ID: 7b65b9

Maybe your brother has a way to deal with this in his notes, perhaps in the succubus pages.
You could also ask Konda if there is any way she can help with this, maybe she has a spell for it?
>>
No. 703439 ID: e58766

Think of gram-gram. Either being cross at you for your lack of self control or having old person sex. Whichever you feel would be more effective.
>>
No. 703441 ID: cf69ad

>WAIT. OH GODS DID I GET AROUSED AT THE STORIES OF A KNIGHT HAVING SEX WITH MONSTERS?
No, no no. Of course not.

You got aroused by the company of a fetching sorceress.

>BROTHER, GIVE ME STRENGHT. WHAT DO I DO?
Ask Konda to help you with it?
>>
No. 703461 ID: 5ad4a7

Look just sit down and put a pillow over it.
>>
No. 703470 ID: 1d0ef8
File 145591283802.jpg - (73.15KB , 800x550 , AMHQ140.jpg )
703470

THIS HAS TO BE THE WORK OF AN ENEMY SPELL!

IT'S THE ONLY REASONABLE ANSWER!

I NEED KONDA TO TAKE CARE OF THE SPELL, SHE SHOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO. SHE'S A SORCERESS AFTER ALL.

OK, LET'S STAY CALM. NO PANICKING YOU ARE A KNIGHT.

DON'T PANIC.

"KONDA, YOU GOTTA GIVE ME A HAND WITH THIS"

Konda: "WHAT!?!?"

"SERIOUSLY! I AM NOT GOOD WITH THIS KIND OF THINGS! IT SHOULD BE MORE YOUR SPEED, NO?"

Konda: "WOOO-WHAT!!? NO WAY! GET SOMEONE ELSE TO DO THAT!"

"DO YOU SERIOUSLY WANT ME TO GO AROUND LIKE THIS? DO YOU?"

Konda: "UUUUUH! F-FINE! B-BUT I'M NOT USED TO DO THIS!!!"

"YOU'LL DO FINE, DON'T WORRY."
>>
No. 703471 ID: 1d0ef8
File 145591289067.jpg - (49.90KB , 550x700 , AMHQ141.jpg )
703471

GODS, THIS SORCERESS IS A MESS.

HOW DIFFICULT COULD IT BE TO CHECK FOR A SIMPLE CURSE AND REMOVE IT? I THOUGHT SHE WAS A RENOWNED SORCER
>>
No. 703472 ID: 1d0ef8
File 145591291662.jpg - (46.77KB , 560x700 , AMHQ142.jpg )
703472

EH!
>>
No. 703476 ID: 1d0ef8
File 145591321126.jpg - (83.97KB , 800x600 , AMHQ143.jpg )
703476

"..."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Konda: "Y-you told me to h-help you out!!!"

"I KINDA MEANT TO SEARCH AND DISPELL ANY CURSE IN THE ROOM..."

Konda: "O-oh!"

Konda: "Yeah, i-i guess that would make more sense. C-coming from you.."

Konda: "..."

Konda: "..."

Konda: "I... i guess i should let it go?"

>>
No. 703482 ID: 0666d8

>i guess that would make more sense. C-coming from you
Yes it's certainly going to make sense coming from him, in a few moments.

>I... i guess i should let it go
Um, should you? There's, uh, no hands on curse removal techniques?

...Do you want to let it go?
>>
No. 703485 ID: 6cb462

...if she wants to... unless: does she know any freezing spells? usually cold temperatures helps lose erection. maybe if she casts a small snow spell, or create some ice, you could use those to calm that thing down.
>>
No. 703491 ID: 5ea852

Ask her if she's alright. She seems to be affected as well by whatever caused your predicament.
>>
No. 703496 ID: beef02

If she wants to. And if she doesn't that's really not an optimal way to do it.
>>
No. 703519 ID: 7b65b9

Ask her if she believes this could be the work of a curse in the first place.
>>
No. 703520 ID: 5ad4a7

A Holy Knight should not initiate in sexual contact with monsters.
>>
No. 703541 ID: 4854ef

>>703520
Which he didn't, Konda initiated it afterall.

Tell her if she thinks it's wise she can continue
>>
No. 703556 ID: 5ad4a7

>>703541
Okay, fine.

A Holy Knight should not participate in sexual contact with monsters.
>>
No. 703626 ID: f0e552

I know you're a holy knight, but this is only natural, no curse. You sound like a 16 year old boy, jeez.
>>
No. 703649 ID: fd8c98

>>703626
That actually brings up a good point, how old is he?
>>
No. 703791 ID: b6178d

Uh... maybe you're looking at this wrong. Maybe your brother was doing research into the promiscuity of monsters?

I mean, it seems odd that they're so open to all this kinky sexual stuff! Maybe it's their one big weakness, or something.

(Maybe it's everyone's one big weakness, yours included.)
>>
No. 703792 ID: 5ea852

>>703791
No, it's not his weakness, because weakness comes from the mind. And his mind is oblivious to the implications at hand.
>>
No. 703795 ID: 799984

Well, I mean, she's the sorceress. The technical details are best left in her hands.
>>
No. 703804 ID: 5ea852

Wait, time out for a second. Knowing how Konda usually is...Does this mean she actually LIKES Layton in all of his dense glory?

It would be totes adorable if not for the...hand on dick thing.
>>
No. 704124 ID: 849cc0
File 145604885422.jpg - (50.49KB , 800x500 , AMHQ144.jpg )
704124

"A-ARE YOU FEELING ALRIGHT KONDA? YOU LOOK REALLY BOTHERED..."

Konda: "W-what do you m-mean?"

"D-DO YOU THINK THAT WE MIGHT BE GOT HIT BY A CURSE?"

Konda: "I-i don't think... there is a c-curse going on..."

"N-NO?"
>>
No. 704125 ID: 849cc0
File 145604900632.jpg - (62.58KB , 800x520 , AMHQ145.jpg )
704125

Konda: "I-i think we have might be w-worked up from reading that b-book. It... it's j-just n-natural, n-no?"

"I... GUESS?"

SHE HASN'T STILL LET GO OF ME

Konda: "S-so... should i let go?"
>>
No. 704126 ID: 849cc0
File 145604912683.jpg - (46.59KB , 600x630 , AMHQ146.jpg )
704126

I AM BEING REALLY CONFLICTED AT THE MOMENT!

B-BUT

"A... A H-HOLY KNIGHT SHOULD NOT PARTECIPATE IN S-SEXUAL CONTACT WITH MONSTERS..."

T-THAT'S WHAT I HAVE BEEN TAUGHT ALL MY LIFE. IT CAN'T BE WRONG NO?
>>
No. 704127 ID: 849cc0
File 145604928784.jpg - (63.15KB , 740x600 , AMHQ147.jpg )
704127

KONDA TILTS HER HEAD, LOOKING AWAY FROM ME

Konda: "Y-yes. I-i understand..."

I FEEL LIKE I SAID THE WORST THING AT THE WORST MOMENT, BUT I CAN'T BE WRONG? AM I? I FEEL ACTUALLY...

BAD?

WHAT'S GOING ON!?!
>>
No. 704128 ID: f0e552

>>704127
I mean, what was probably about to happen isn't sex, so you're clear.

You're still totally acting like a baby though. Look! You've probably made her feel really bad now. So I'd say, yeah, you've done a bad thing.
>>
No. 704129 ID: 5ad4a7

>>704127
Tell her you think you need to re-evaluate your life.
>>
No. 704130 ID: 38685c

>>704127
That leaves handjobs, fellatio, cunnilingus, and intercrural on the table! Potentially even anal!
>>
No. 704131 ID: 5ea852

Hug her. And make damn sure to pour all your emotion into it to show her that you don't hate her. Try to not impale her on your...rod while you do it.

You better apologise for your very racist phrasing as well.
>>
No. 704132 ID: 5ea852

>>704128
>I mean, what was probably about to happen isn't sex, so you're clear.
>>704130
>That leaves handjobs, fellatio, cunnilingus, and intercrural on the table! Potentially even anal!

I bet you also think that a girl is still a maiden after all that, you debased fornicators.
>>
No. 704134 ID: 5d112d

Thats not a monster, that is a helpful young woman who has been nothing but kind to you.
>>
No. 704135 ID: f0e552

>>704128
Basically, it's too late to go back without hurting her feelings and stuffing up her self-esteem even MORE.
>>
No. 704139 ID: 5ea852

Continue with these words.

"But...if I were to make an exception...it would probably be with you."
>>
No. 704145 ID: c45b7e

>>704127
A KNIGHT MUST CONSIDER WHAT IS AND IS NOT A MONSTER.
>>
No. 704146 ID: 5ea852

>>704145
I think the problem is that this is not a matter of semantics. I mean, these people call themselves monsters and have no shame of identifying themselves as such.

It's not a label that sir knight is forcing upon them.
>>
No. 704149 ID: 5812ad

>>704146
INDEED, BUT AS SIR MCMANHAMMER HAS COME TO UNDERSTAND, THE LABEL HAS ENTIRELY DIFFERENT CONNOTATIONS FOR THESE FOLK THAN HE HAS BEEN ACCUSTOMED TO. WHILE CERTAINLY THEY ARE...UNORTHODOX FOLK, THEY REMAIN AFFABLE AND AMICABLE.
PERHAPS ONE MUST ABIDE BY MONSTERS, IN ORDER TO FIND STRENGTH TO FIGHT THE REAL MONSTERS.
OR, UH, SOMETHING SIMILARLY CHIVALROUS.
>>
No. 704154 ID: 15720c

>>704146
They're Monsters, not monsters. The rule refers to monsters, not Monsters.
>>
No. 704158 ID: 5ea852

>>704154
I don't understand your use of capital lettering. What's the difference between Human and human?
>>
No. 704161 ID: a6dc58

>>704139
I'll agree with this choice.
>>
No. 704170 ID: 7b65b9

Perhaps your brother's notes were telling you something important, but it's more straightforward than you think.
>>
No. 704195 ID: 5ad4a7

>>704130
"Sexual contact" is not just sex.
>>
No. 704197 ID: 02422f

>I FEEL ACTUALLY... BAD?
>WHAT'S GOING ON!?!
Well, you did something dishonorable. You insulted her to her face. You told her, point blank, that she was a creature not worth having contact with, moreso, that it would be wrong to do so.

Think about what the word "monster" means. Is it really fair to apply that label to a sapient creature? Especially a helpful and considerate one?

Not laying with monsters was clearly meant as an injunction against bestiality, not against inhuman sapients.
>>
No. 704259 ID: 38685c

>>704127
Express your confusion. Tell her that you feel bad even though it's what you've always been taught.
>>
No. 704295 ID: 5812ad

>>704158
Well, technically speaking, there is a difference between the definitions of human as a member of the human race, and human as a set of defining characteristics more commonly called humanity, which can apply to other species.
>>
No. 704299 ID: 5ad4a7

>>704259
Yeah, sure.
>>
No. 704345 ID: f56624

>>704127
"But!! You are pretty nice even if you do desecrate the dead and I don't think of you as a monster? This is weird and I feel guilty and I'm very out of my element here but???"

Stammer profusely
>>
No. 704450 ID: c923aa
File 145614830581.jpg - (92.95KB , 800x500 , AMHQ148.jpg )
704450


Konda: "I-i should go!"

"NO WAIT!"


>>
No. 704451 ID: c923aa
File 145614837333.jpg - (65.28KB , 600x600 , AMHQ149.jpg )
704451


I GRAB HER.

Konda: "EEEP!"

"SINCE I WAS BORN, I WAS TAUGHT THAT MONSTERS ARE HORRIBLE CREATURES THAT LIVE LIKE ANIMALS WITHOUT MORALS AND COSTUMES."

"BUT... AFTER SPENDING THESE FEW DAYS WITH YOU AND MEETING OTHER PEOPLE IN THE COUNCIL HAS LEFT A CRACK IN WHAT I BELIEVE. YOU ARE MORE CIVILIZED AND EMOTIONAL THAN I THOUGHT..."

Konda: "You... don't say..."

"I... AM SERIOUSLY CONFUSED ON WHAT TO THINK RIGHT NOW. AS IF MY WORLD HAS SHIFTED OUT OF POSITION..."

>>
No. 704452 ID: c923aa
File 145614849325.jpg - (70.25KB , 600x600 , AMHQ150.jpg )
704452


"MAYBE... MAYBE THE NOTES THAT MY BROTHERS LEFT HAVE MORE DEPTH IN IT... "

Konda: "N-no, really... listen... they..."

"MAYBE... MY BROTHER KNEW THAT MONSTERS HAD MORE TO THEM, AND HE MIGHT HAVE ARRIVED HERE TO MEET AND LEARN YOUR COSTUMES. TO KNOW YOU BETTER. "

Konda: "W-well... i-in a way i assume it's t-true..."

"SO... MAYBE... MAYBE I TOO SHOULD OPEN UP MORE TO YOUR COSTUMES. AND... AND WE COULD LEARN MORE FROM EACH OTHER..."

Konda: "W-wait, you mean you would..."

"Y-YES. I... GUESS IT WOULD BE ALRIGHT DOING THAT WITH YOU, YOU HAVE BEEN NICE AND GOOD TO ME SINCE THE BEGINNING, AND I FORCED YOU TO DO THINGS THAT MADE YOU AWKWARD. SO, MAYBE I COULD MAKE UP FOR YOU ALREADY. IF YOU'D BE UP, OF COURSE... SO?"

>>
No. 704453 ID: c923aa
File 145614852951.jpg - (54.21KB , 600x600 , AMHQ151.jpg )
704453


UH.

SHE...

SHE FAINTED...

>>
No. 704455 ID: ac4d6f

Uh, find a bed or fainting couch to lay her on. And no, not that kind of laying, she's unconscious!
>>
No. 704457 ID: 799984

See? That's just proof your actions are now righteous once more. Ladies fainting in the presence of a chivalrous knight is to be expected.
>>
No. 704458 ID: a3a5d7

I've heard that too-tight corsets are often to blame for ladies fainting. And corsets are part of traditional female dress for necromancers, right? Maybe she can't breathe.
>>
No. 704463 ID: 2a7417

Pat her on the head. There, there, sorcerer, take your time getting accustomed to our most holy advances...
>>
No. 704467 ID: 92a560

Carry her to her room. Don't forget the book.
>>
No. 704472 ID: c45b7e

>>704453
A FOUL EVIL HAS AFFLICTED HER BODY. SEARCH FOR IT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
>>
No. 704481 ID: 5042bf

So it was a curse after all. What insidious thing causing faintness, awkwardness and just when you found that secret! It's obviously defending itself. Hopefully no memory loss will result. Just be aware of the curse upon you for the rest of the day.

You'll just have to try again later. This time being more prepared against such power. Mayby create a holy chastitypiece from your codpiece (tighten it really tight). For now you must escort her to rest in her room and resume your quest. Mayby new guests have arrived finally.
>>
No. 704482 ID: 5ea852

Uh, lay her on the side so she doesn't choke on her tongue (which might be hard because of her horns, so put her on the table), remove her cap and those things on her neck so she can breathe more easily and try sprinkling her with cold water or finding some smelling salts to get her to regain consciousness.
>>
No. 704495 ID: 5ad4a7

>>704453
Welp. Time to be a gentleman and put her in bed.

Then find somewhere private to do your business.
>>
No. 704512 ID: 5042bf

>>704481

Addendum. That impossible thing must be the key. This needs study. The library would be good place for study. Anatomy books, spells that would accomplish that, further description of that scene. Enlist the aid of the gnoll lady so that you can recreate it for you and Konda to study and glean it's secrets from.

As outside observers it's defenses shouldn't affect you and Konda so much this time if you sit on the sidelines. Use Skullkini and whoeveryoucanconvince as the test cases.
>>
No. 704524 ID: c923aa
File 145617405582.jpg - (89.45KB , 600x600 , AMHQ152.jpg )
704524

WELL, SHE IS BREATHING REGULARLY. THAT'S A RELIEF.

I SHOULD FASTEN HER NECKWEAR ANYWAY, JUST IN CASE SHE MIGHT CHOKE.

AND...


PROBABLY HER CORSET TOO...


...


... OH, GOOD. SHE DOESN'T WEAR ONE. OR AT LEAST I DON'T FEEL ONE UNDER HER CLOTHES.

I SHOULD BRING HER TO HER ROOM THOUGH, AND PUT HER ON HER BED.

WE... CAN GET BACK ON THE "TOPIC" ANOTHER TIME.
>>
No. 704526 ID: c923aa
File 145617422819.jpg - (63.19KB , 600x600 , AMHQ153.jpg )
704526

SHE IS SURPRISINGLY LIGHTER THAN I IMAGINED, CONSIDERING SHE'S BIGGER THAN ME.

I GRAB MY SWORD, HER STAFF AND THE BOOK WITH MY NOTES.

HOPEFULLY HER BODY AND DRESS WILL HIDE MY "CONDITION" SO NO MONSTER WILL NOTICE IT.

I AM LUCKY THOUGH, THERE IS ALMOST NO ONE AROUND, ASIDE FOR A COUPLE GOLEM SERVANTS. IT SHOULD NOT BE TOO DIFFICULT TO GET BACK TO KONDA'S ROOM UNNOTICED.
>>
No. 704527 ID: c923aa
File 145617435662.jpg - (127.60KB , 900x500 , AMHQ154.jpg )
704527

Gnoll Librarian: "Oh, Sir Deathy! I was looking for you! I found something that might interest y..."

OH COME ON.

Gnoll Librarian: "I-is this a bad time? I-is that lady alright?"
>>
No. 704533 ID: a3a5d7

What, your mistress? She's just... tired. From... her great magical feats. And a long day. And uh wearing this neck thingy. You were just bringing her back to her room to rest.

Maybe try stealthily tensing and untensing the muscles in your legs or back or arms, without moving them? Physical exertion can... draw blood away from other areas of your body.
>>
No. 704534 ID: 5ad4a7

>>704527
Uhhhhh tell her she just had a fainting spell and you were taking her to her room. Ask her to wait a few minutes and you'll be right back.
>>
No. 704535 ID: 5042bf

Yes! Fine! That is your mistress Konda. You were just studying the tome together in privacy and the long session has taken it's toll. Especially this last chapter has you positively stumped.

Mayby she can help. It is supposedly impossible but you think it must just be very difficult. Mayby you need to take a step back and be hands off to get a fresh new outlook on this matter. You need translation help, instructional help, possible spells that would be needed AND willing subjects to be observed by you and Konda.

It could be dangerous. The tome has already proven it's might upon you with horrible curses. High blood pressure, sweating, temptation, fainting from it all, and certain very embarassing persisting problem no don't ask.. forget it. Would she know anyone to be willing to undertake such horrors?
>>
No. 704553 ID: 5ea852

Uh, yes, my mistress is fine, she just, uh, tends to shut down when she gets overexcited. Yes, nothing out of the ordinary that smelling salts and rest can't fix. How dare you imply that I would do something immoral to a lady?
>>
No. 704559 ID: 02422f

>>704527
My mistress is fine, I am just returning her to her chambers.

What is it you found?
>>
No. 704600 ID: b17b81

>>704559
>>
No. 704603 ID: 15a025

Have them come with you to your mistress chambers.
>>
No. 704615 ID: c45b7e

>>704527
she has exerted herself...to...assist in maintaining my body...through complex and arcane ritual. I must ensure her recovery. good day.
>>
No. 704616 ID: c45b7e

>>704527
alert. alert. blue hand. blue hand. alert. alert.
>>
No. 704636 ID: 8b65eb

>>704559
lets keep the lie short, and it also changes the subject
>>
No. 704637 ID: 5ad4a7

>>704616
Yes, she had blue hands before too. I'm thinking those are gloves.

I guess we can ask about them.
>>
No. 704725 ID: f0e552

>>704527
she's just been not getting much sleep, I'm carrying her back for some shut eye.
>>
No. 704743 ID: 92a560

Blue hands is due to Gnuks scanner not picking up his grey markers right. Her hands are grey.

Tell the librarian that she had tired herself out on some errands and that you are bringing her back to her room. Meanwhile you two could discuss what she wanted to talk about along the way.
>>
No. 704761 ID: c45b7e

>>704743
<must save face...perhaps our brave knight has a rare disorder of color blindness that can only see greys as blue?!>
>>
No. 704835 ID: eb8330
File 145626433914.jpg - (78.46KB , 800x500 , AMHQ155.jpg )
704835

"GREETINGS, LADY LIMMERIA. THIS IS MY MISTRESS KONDA. SHE'S GOING TO BE FINE. WE HAD AN EXHAUSTING STUDY SESSION EARLIER AND SHE MIGHT HAVE OVERWORKED HERSELF UP."

Gnoll Librarian: "Study session?"

"YES."

Gnoll Librarian: "Oh! Ooooh..."

"SO I WAS BRINGING HER BACK TO HER CHAMBERS SO SHE CAN REGAIN STRENGHT FOR LATER SESSIONS. WOULD YOU MIND COME TOO? SO YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT YOU FOUND."

Gnoll Librarian: "Are you sure i'm not disturbing you two?"

"NONSENSE! LET'S GO. MY MISTRESS NEEDS REST."
>>
No. 704836 ID: eb8330
File 145626479583.jpg - (76.53KB , 700x600 , AMHQ156.jpg )
704836

Gnoll Librarian: "S-so, yesterday i took a bit of time to do some research."

"YOU MEAN THE OTHER BOOKS YOU TOLD ME ABOUT?"

Gnoll Librarian: "EH-UH! N-no. Didn't look for... those yet. B-but i found out something about McManhammer."

"OH?"
>>
No. 704837 ID: eb8330
File 145626529687.jpg - (55.35KB , 600x600 , AMHQ157.jpg )
704837

Gnoll Librarian: "In the archives there are references to a really powerful knight that came to these lands over thirty years ago. His name was Jack 'The Hammer' McManhammer. He terrorized the east and south areas of the monsterlands."

HEH, I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED FATHER TO BE KNOWN HERE AS WELL.

Gnoll Librarian: "He apparently caused the fall of two entire kingdoms! Seemingly no one was able to withstand him and his power. He cleaved through armies like a farmer in the middle of harvest."

YEAH. DEFINITIVELY SOUNDS LIKE FATHER.

Gnoll Librarian: "I know he might not be the same knight, but maybe a relative? A son? In that case we should tell the empress and the others and warn them that a big danger looms over us. I am terrified at the idea of meeting someone like him. You must have been... an incredible knight, to have a rivalry with a McManhammer."

She shakes her head.

Gnoll Librarian: "Ah! Anyway! T-the former ruler of one of those kingdoms is currently here at the council. Room... 420 if what my friend told me is true. M-maybe you can ask for help? Or maybe an alliance? You both could find a way to satisfy your unfulfilled hopes?"
>>
No. 704838 ID: 5ad4a7

>>704837
Maybe! Thank her for the assistance.
>>
No. 704839 ID: 5ea852

>room 420

Should we blaze it? I mean, after we leave Konda. But what are we to do with Skullkini as well?
>>
No. 704841 ID: 15a025

>>704839
Think we should blaze it.
>>
No. 704847 ID: 02422f

>what do
Tuck Konda into bed.

>In that case we should tell the empress and the others and warn them that a big danger looms over us.
Is there a great danger? The man I was searching for left the human kingdom years ago. Surely, if he was laying waste to these lands, news of it would have reached you long ago.

>Room... 420 if what my friend told me is true. M-maybe you can ask for help? Or maybe an alliance? You both could find a way to satisfy your unfulfilled hopes?
I shall investigate it, certainly. Thank you, you have been a great help!
>>
No. 704848 ID: a73f47

>>704837
Thank her, that sounds like the father of the one we are talking about, though our rival will surely be as powerful one day! (or even right now, who knows?)
>>
No. 704942 ID: 15720c

Terrorizing Monster Kingdoms doesn't really sound any more chivalrous than fucking a monster. Of course, the stories were probably exaggerated if it was him; the way I see it, the relation between the book and his notes would either mean he was warning you, or he "Dismantled" the kingdoms by breaking the human-monster holy vows and was trying to let you know what he had done in a way that did not directly alert the family?
>>
No. 704977 ID: 5ea852

>Terrorizing Monster Kingdoms doesn't really sound any more chivalrous than fucking a monster.

Mind explaining how bringing terror to the heart of evil is not chivalrous? A knight is a terror upon the battlefield, especially when mounted.

And Jack McManhammer is Layton's and Humprey's father. As both of them are human knights, I don't think Jack intercoursed monsters or left "clues" to progeny that hasn't even formed in his groin. Not to mention that dismantling of said monster domains was over 30 years ago.
>>
No. 705007 ID: f6442a

Room 420?
>inb4 fire elemental
I would go just to hear tales of Dadhammer's mighty conquests!
>>
No. 705035 ID: 594c18

>>705007
> fire elemental
My money's on plant person, m'self.
>>
No. 705077 ID: c45b7e

>>704837
dont forget we are an undead guardian. Cant wander about without mistress.
>>
No. 705085 ID: 4854ef

>>705077
Actually considering we are an undead Knight we serve the mistress, but we aren't tied to her like a lesser minion.
>>
No. 705088 ID: 5ea852

Maybe we should take Skullkini with us? Who knows what we will find in the room 420.
>>
No. 705129 ID: 5ad4a7

>>705077
We can totally do that though.
>>
No. 705336 ID: c1b032
File 145640638617.jpg - (64.59KB , 600x600 , AMHQ158.jpg )
705336

"I SHALL CONTACT THEM IMMEDIATELY. THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR HELP, LADY LIMMERIA. I AM IN YOUR DEBT AGAIN!"

Gnoll Librarian: "Oh, no problem! I am glad i can help people!"

"I AM GOING TO GET MY MISTRESS IN HER ROOM FIRST."

Gnoll Librarian: "Uh, right. I should go back to work too. If you ever need something, feel free to drop in at any moment!"

"I WILL!"
>>
No. 705337 ID: c1b032
File 145640645787.jpg - (83.02KB , 800x500 , AMHQ159.jpg )
705337

I TUCK KONDA IN HER BED.

HOPE SHE CAN REST WELL, I SHOULD BE BACK SOON ENOUGH AT LEAST.
>>
No. 705339 ID: c1b032
File 145640655043.jpg - (62.73KB , 500x700 , AMHQ160.jpg )
705339

415, 416, 417, 418, 419. OH THERE. ROOM 420.

I KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

NO ANSWER.

MAYBE THEY ARE NOT IN THEIR ROOM.

OR MAYBE THEY MIGHT BE DEAF OR SLEEPING

I KNOCK HARDER!
>>
No. 705340 ID: c1b032
File 145640686542.jpg - (99.53KB , 1050x550 , AMHQ161.jpg )
705340

SUDDENLY, THE DOOR OF THE ADJACENT ROOM OPENS AND A FEMALE FIGURE PEEKS OUT.

Dryad: "Hey... if you... if you are like... uuh if you are looking for me i had... had... had the butlers do the thing... uuuuh" SHE SNAPS HER FINGER "Move my stuffs here. The room that the kobold empress... the kobold empress gave me was too on the... on the thing... the nose!"

"SO, YOU WERE PREVIOUSLY STAYING IN THIS ROOM?"

Dryad: "Wha? Oh yeah, i was there. Got moved. You looking for me?"

"YES, I THINK SO. I WISH TO SPEAK WITH YOU"
>>
No. 705341 ID: c1b032
File 145640698128.jpg - (89.75KB , 600x600 , AMHQ162.jpg )
705341

Dryad: "if you are looking for goods, i am fresh out, buddy."

"UH... NO I..."

Dryad: "Wait... wait. Your voice sounds... sounds... sounds familiar. Have we met already?"
>>
No. 705342 ID: 3641d4

oh god they're high aren't they?
>>
No. 705343 ID: 5ea852

>Have we met already?

Maybe on some other plane of existence.
>>
No. 705346 ID: 38685c

>>705342
They are ALWAYS high.
>>705341
You are DEATHY FALRIC MURDERGUTS MCKILLSALOT THE DEATHFLAYER, formerly known as Sir Layton McManhammer.

Maybe they met your dad?
>>
No. 705348 ID: 3663d3

start with you are a newly undead servant of konda, then say that used to be a mcmanhammer. so thy don't freak out if they are scared of your dad coming back to finish the job.
>>
No. 705349 ID: 2a7417

NAY, BUT I COME SEEKING TALES OF YOUR MEETINGS WITH ANOTHER... SIR JACK MCMANHAMMER!
You need to speak clearly, she looks like she's just woken up.
>>
No. 705353 ID: 15720c

>Your voice sounds... sounds... sounds familiar. Have we met already?
Us two have not, but perhaps you have met the man I am seeking information on!
>>
No. 705377 ID: 5ea852

>>705346
>>705348
It's like you people have no idea how to keep a consistent story. When you lie, don't deviate from the goddamn lie else people will start being suspicious when they compare your statements.
>>
No. 705426 ID: 02422f

>Have we met already?
Not to my knowledge, good sir.

Ask about the human warrior who came through in the past.
>>
No. 705636 ID: 1ed605
File 145651442083.jpg - (83.37KB , 800x570 , AMHQ163.jpg )
705636

"NO WE HAVEN'T. BUT MAYBE WE HAVE MET IN A PREVIOUS LIFE. OR IN ANOTHER PLANE OF EXISTENCE."

Dryad: "Wooooo... that's deep dude..."

"..."

Dryad: "..."

"..."

Dryad: "..."

"..."

Dryad: "..."

"..."

Dryad: "..."

"..."

Dryad: "..."

"SOOOOOOO... CAN I TALK TO YOU?"

Dryad: "Wha? Oh yeah, man. Totally... Come in..."
>>
No. 705638 ID: 1ed605
File 145651496371.jpg - (81.12KB , 950x500 , AMHQ164.jpg )
705638

THERE ARE TWO OTHER MONSTERS IN THE ROOM, A GNOME WITH MECHANICAL ARMS AND A DARK ELF.

Dryad: "So, yeah... introductions. The short dude is Purpo, the tall one with the... the... the ears is Bro'od'inh. I used to go by other.... things... names. Those. But now i call myself Vijaya. Yoh dudes. This is... uuh... "

"MY NAME IS DEATHY FALRIC MURDERGUTS MCKILLSALOT THE DEATHFLAYER. SIR DEATHY IN SHORT. CALL ME DEATHY"

Dark Elf: "Sup..."

Purpo: "Mmmmmmmrgh..."

Dryad: "So. What you want to know?"

"I HAVE BEEN TOLD YOU HAVE MET WITH A CERTAIN MCMANHAMMER ALMOST THIRTY YEARS AGO AND I WANTED TO ASK YOU FOR INFORMATIONS. I AM LOOKING FOR HIS SON CURRENTLY."

Dryad: "Wooooooooo shit. Mcmanhammer? Duuuuude. Haven't heard that name in..."

"ALMOST THIRTY YEARS?"

Dryad: "Yeaaaaah. It might take a bit to recap what happened with... with... Mcmanhammer. Why don't you sit down. Do you want a smoke? It's good..."

SHE OFFERS ME A DESSICATED LEAF.

I ALSO JUST NOTICED THAT THE ROOM IS FILLED WITH SMOKE...
>>
No. 705648 ID: 3663d3

tell her that unfortunately as an undead your brain does not respond to herbs.
>>
No. 705668 ID: 5ad4a7

>>705638
Tell her you don't smoke.
>>
No. 705675 ID: 3f9dc0

Tell her that, as you are recently dead, you are still trying to remind yourself that breathing is just a habit.
>>
No. 705681 ID: 2a7417

Decline, wouldn't want to get hot under the helmet. Also, is she sure that isn't a fire hazard?
>>
No. 705683 ID: 2ccbb3

Explain that you are worried about the effects of herbs on the undead. If these are meant to heal, they might accidentally heal the part of you that naturally self-destructs.
>>
No. 705692 ID: c45b7e

>>705638
The Dryad makes no sense, we must be on her level of understanding to properly communicate with her. Accept the magic herb, clearly it is a form of divination magic for her to be so torn between the present, past, and future that she cannot hold a normal conversation or know of her own name. Powerful magic indeed.
>>
No. 705699 ID: 5ea852

>>705648
>>705675
This. Stay in character.
>>
No. 705718 ID: 02422f

>>705648
Except ones growing in you. You don't really want to help decomposition along, though.

>I ALSO JUST NOTICED THAT THE ROOM IS FILLED WITH SMOKE...
It's be fine. The bag over your head and your knightly physique will protect you from the worst of it.
>>
No. 705808 ID: 5ea852

>>705692
Do not accept the herbs. One cannot sift through layers of bullshit in search for wisdom with a mind unable to differentiate between the two.
>>
No. 706457 ID: da3774
File 145683114651.jpg - (77.19KB , 800x550 , AMHQ165.jpg )
706457

"I HAVE TO DECLINE, AS I AM UNDEAD AND I CAN'T SMOKE"

Dryad: "Your loss..."

SHE LITS HER LEAF WITH A THREAD OF PURPLE SMOKE.

"..."

"SOOOOOOOOO..."

Dryad: "Oh right. So! Long ago in a distant land, I, Hikka, the all-charming Mistress of Darkness, almost collected an unspeakable evil army."
>>
No. 706458 ID: da3774
File 145683123950.jpg - (67.81KB , 670x600 , AMHQ166.jpg )
706458

Dryad: "But a foolish holy warrior, wielding a magic hammer stepped forth to oppose me."
>>
No. 706459 ID: da3774
File 145683149817.jpg - (71.34KB , 600x700 , AMHQ167.jpg )
706459

Dryad: "Before any blow was struck, I confronted him and presented him with the opportunity to be with me. I gave him the choice to either try and fight me and my army, or lay with me and become my new champion"
>>
No. 706460 ID: da3774
File 145683161681.jpg - (101.98KB , 800x570 , AMHQ168.jpg )
706460

Dryad: "He stared at me, at my eyes, at my perfect skin. at my voluptuous body. And then... then i remember his strong left hand, caressing my cheek"

AND I DON'T REMEMBER FATHER EVER MENTIONING THIS...
>>
No. 706461 ID: da3774
File 145683236111.jpg - (92.27KB , 600x650 , AMHQ169.jpg )
706461

Dryad: "He then proceeded to slam my face against the ground. Over. And over. And over again. Yelling that 'NO MATTER WHAT, YOUR EVIL TEMPTATION WILL NOT WORK ON MY HOLY SOUL!". He broke my horns, crushed my face and destroyed my army. After that i spent almost a decade to regenerate, and i have never seen him ever again..."

YEAH, THAT SOUNDS MORE LIKE THE FATHER I KNOW...

"I AM SORRY FOR WHAT HAP"

Dryad: "What a fucking man!"

"UH?"

Dryad: "No one has ever been able to reject me before him. And no one has ever been strong enough to level me to the ground like him. Mmmmmmmmmh. I still feel pain when i touch the right side of my face."

...

Dryad: "That is the sort of guy that i would let lay waste to my castles. If you know what i mean..."

"I REALLY HOPE I DON'T..."

Dryad: "You said he had a son? And he was here in the monsterland? I'm afraid i haven't met him. I would have not minded giving him a ride too, hopefully he has taken from his dad."

GETTING MORE AND MORE UNCOMFORTABLE AS WE ARE GOING HERE...

"THE KOBOLD EMPRESS SAID HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN SPOTTED NEAR THE IRON MOUNTAINS"

Dryad: "Yooooh. For real? Lil' Purpo right here comes straight from that place."

"OH! SO MAYBE HE CAN HELP ME OUT!"

Dryad: "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAH... good luck with that. Poor gnome had a really bad trauma last year and he was expelled from his kingdom, so he's spending most of his time as high as possible to forget what happened to him. I dunno what you can get out of him..."
>>
No. 706463 ID: 5ad4a7

>>706461
Just try asking him if he knows of any human knights that showed up around the period your brother disappeared.
>>
No. 706467 ID: e4d30c

>>706463
We could even simplify it to any human. Humans most probably aren't a regular occurrence in monster lands.
>>
No. 706472 ID: 0ee8aa

Feel shame that you were not as iron willed as your father had been. Resolve to do better in future endeavors.
>>
No. 706474 ID: 38685c

>>706472
To be fair an evil army was not involved in Layton's case. Just gettin laid. I'm sure he woulda kicked ass if it wasn't counterproductive.
>>
No. 706479 ID: 5d633c

Did your father already knew Your mother by that time?
>>
No. 706481 ID: 84256d

>I, Hikka, the all-charming Mistress of Darkness

I think she mispronounced, there. Should have been an "n" rather than an "r".
>>
No. 706484 ID: 2a7417

>>706481
The Mistness of Darkness?

Erm, yeah, is there anyone else here (at the conference) from the Iron Mountains we can ask?
>>
No. 706492 ID: e4d30c

>>706484
I think he meant Mistress of Dankness.
>>
No. 706495 ID: 88e46e

>>706492
No, clearly he meant all-chanming.
>>
No. 706546 ID: da3774
File 145686914457.jpg - (61.03KB , 800x550 , AMHQ170.jpg )
706546

"THE EMPRESS TOLD ME THAT REPRESENTATIVE OF THAT PLACE SHOULD ARRIVE IN TWO DAYS, BUT DO YOU KNOW IF THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE FROM THAT PART OF THE MONSTERLANDS ALREADY HERE?"

Dryad: "Nah dude. I've been... busy... You gotta ask to someone that works here..."

WELL, AT LEAST I CAN ASK THIS GNOME MORE INFORMATIONS, MAYBE I CAN GET SOME ANSWERS. IT'S WORTH A SHOT.

"EXCUSE ME, SIR. IF YOU CAN UNDERSTAND ME PLEASE ANSWER ME. HAVE YOU SEEN ANY HUMAN IN YOUR KINGDOM BEFORE YOU LEFT? ANYONE CALLED MACMANHAMMER?"

Purpo: "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmcm'nmmer?"

"YES. MAC-MAN-HAMMER"
>>
No. 706549 ID: da3774
File 145686941048.jpg - (69.33KB , 600x650 , AMHQ171.jpg )
706549

Purpo: "..."

HE STARES INTO THE VOID

Purpo: "MMMMMMMMMMMMMCMNAMMRRRRRR!"

HE THEN STARTS FREAKING OUT

Purpo: "Nnnoooooooooommmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyarmmssssssssssss!!! DDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNT-T-T-TAAAKE'M! HEEEEEEEEELP HEEEEEELP!"

Dryad: "Ah crap! Look what you did. He's spazzing again! You startled him"

SHE PUFFS SMOKE IN HIS FACE UNTIL HE HAS CALMED DOWN AGAIN.

Dryad: "There, there. Poor lil fellow. I told you he could not tell much. Be more considerate, dude. Purpo has a lot of problems"
>>
No. 706552 ID: 3663d3

hmm, ether your father or brother has traumatized the poor fellow. and the mention of macmanhammer triggers PTSD.

ah well, we will have to find something else to do to pass the time until someone less scarred for life arrives.
>>
No. 706558 ID: 5ad4a7

>>706549
Um, okay, like what? Ask the dryad if he knows anything about Purpo's history.
>>
No. 706560 ID: e4d30c

>>706549
Well, he should start facing those problems. Nothing can be solved by running away.

Locate Skullkini and start preparing for her punishment.
>>
No. 706577 ID: 2a7417

Go check on your mistress- I mean, on Konda.
>>
No. 706679 ID: 02422f

>>706549
Maybe he had an encounter with your brother that ended badly? Poor midget monster.

Apologize, you did not mean to upset him.
>>
No. 706834 ID: d3d135
File 145692659338.jpg - (62.88KB , 700x540 , AMHQ170.jpg )
706834

"I AM TRULY SORRY, I WAS NOT PLANNING TO UPSET HIM"

Dryad: "No worries, dude. But now you know. Be more... more... considerate next time."

"I WILL. MAYBE I CAN TRY TO FIND A WAY FOR HIM TO OVERCOME HIS PROBLEMS LATER. DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?"

Dryad: "No idea. He arrived at my door one day, and all i got from his rambling is that someone ripped off his... his... arms and used them to stole something precious from his colony. After that his life became hell on earth, which is why he came to me."

HE MIGHT HAVE MET HUMPY ON HIS QUEST. I WONDER WHAT HE WAS LOOKING FOR.

"WELL, THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. BUT I MUST GO BACK TO MY MISTRESS."

Dryad: "No worries, dude. If you need anything else you know where to find us... it's here... just to be clear. Unless we are not... you know... here. Then we might be somewhere else."

Dark Elf: "Yeaaaaaaah"
>>
No. 706835 ID: d3d135
File 145692680509.jpg - (48.06KB , 800x500 , AMHQ171.jpg )
706835

BEFORE GOING BACK TO KONDA'S ROOM I NEED TO LOOK FOR SKULLKINI. HER PUNISHMENT IS DUE, AND I PREFER NOT TO WASTE TOO MUCH TIME.

I FIND HER NEAR THE TRAINING GROUND AND I TELL HER TO COME

Skullkini: "What? Already?"

"YES"

Skullkini: "UUUUUUUUUUUUUURGH... DO I REALLY HAVE TO..."

"YES. YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOUR BROTHER SAID. NOW FOLLOW ME."

Skullkini: "Fuck you Femurpants... i swear i'm going to rip your other nipple off later"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Skullkini: "Nothing. let's go..."
>>
No. 706836 ID: d3d135
File 145692695684.jpg - (46.33KB , 500x700 , AMHQ172.jpg )
706836

"REMEMBER TO ACT PROPERLY AND NOT BE A JERK."

Skullkini: "Yeah, yeah... whatever. I'll try not to die of boredom on your dumb nerd shit"

I KNOCK AT THE DOOR WHILE GIVING A STERN RECCOMANDATION TO NOT LET KONDA HEAR ANY OF THAT

Konda: "C-come in"

OH GOOD SHE'S AWAKE AGAIN.
>>
No. 706837 ID: d3d135
File 145692706008.jpg - (54.08KB , 750x600 , AMHQ173.jpg )
706837


"LADY KONDA, I BR..."

Konda: "I-i am sorry for losing my senses back there. Thanks for bringing me b-back in the room. If... if you want to continue our"

>>
No. 706838 ID: d3d135
File 145692712167.jpg - (74.63KB , 800x580 , AMHQ174.jpg )
706838

Konda: "...discusssssssssss..."
>>
No. 706840 ID: d3d135
File 145692730902.jpg - (68.16KB , 800x600 , AMHQ175.jpg )
706840

Konda: "YSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

SHE JUMPS OFF THE BED AND HIDES UNDER IT.

Skullkini: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! OK! YOU GUYS MIGHT NOT BE THAT BAD AFTER ALL! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

>>
No. 706848 ID: 4854ef

Apologize, you didn't expect her to want to continue after her fainting and so you just wanted to get Skullkini and get some nice relaxing sphereovision in.
>>
No. 706855 ID: 139629

>>706840
Flick Skullkini's nose for disrespecting your Mistress again.
>>
No. 706866 ID: cc1ed1

>>706840
You're only extending your punishment, you know.
>>
No. 706869 ID: 1ba489

Close the door, give her a couple of minutes. Check your codpiece for any... irregularities.
>>
No. 706870 ID: 2ccbb3

Check HER codpiece for any irregularities.
>>
No. 706872 ID: c45b7e

>>706840
There is no need for the mistress to be ashamed. She should be confident.
>>
No. 706956 ID: 799984

Definitely don't get a boner from watching her slink under the bed.
>>
No. 707023 ID: 61e90c
File 145701203771.jpg - (55.99KB , 800x550 , AMHQ176.jpg )
707023

I FLICK SKULLKINI'S NOSE

Skullkini: "OUCH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"

"DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MY MISTRESS. UNDERSTOOD? YOU ARE JUST EXTENDING YOUR PUNISHMENT THIS WAY"

Skullkini: "OK! OK! Fine... I'm sorry... jeez!"

"STAY HERE. I'M GOING TO CHECK ON LADY KONDA. WAIT FOR ME TO CALL YOU, OK?"

Skullkini: "Sure. Take your time."
>>
No. 707024 ID: 61e90c
File 145701235343.jpg - (59.29KB , 800x570 , AMHQ177.jpg )
707024

I BEND DOWN AND LIFT THE SHEETS OF THE BED.

"I AM REALLY SORRY FOR THIS TURN OF EVENTS. AFTER YOU FAINTED I THOUGH YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO... UHM... CONTINUE. I THOUGHT WE COULD SEE YOUR SHOWS AS I TOLD YOU THIS MORNING."

KONDA SNIFFS UNDER THE BED.

Konda: "I'm so embarassed..."

"PLEASE DON'T BE. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF..."
>>
No. 707025 ID: 61e90c
File 145701260395.jpg - (68.43KB , 800x550 , AMHQ178.jpg )
707025

Konda: "I always make things worse... I-i just don't really get much... attention and... and... i got c-carried away and... oh gods, that orc... what is she going to think of-of me... oh nooooooo... what if she tells other... i am never going to get out from under this bed... this is my home now..."

TEARS STARTS FORMING NEAR HER EYES AS SHE KEEPS SOBBING MORE AND MORE.
>>
No. 707027 ID: f0e552

>>707025
kiss da girl
>>
No. 707028 ID: 50244d

>>707025
Soothing headpats?
>>
No. 707032 ID: 904bad

>>707028
yes.
"Oh, dont be like that, you didint say anything wrong there, it only looked as if you where naked, something normal to do in your own bedroom, she is not going to say anything, don't worry, just calm a bit and lets enjoy a show. Also, put some pants."
>>
No. 707033 ID: 7b65b9

Tell her that if anyone tries to make fun of her, you'll be sure to defend her honor like with Skullkini.
Also tell her if she's still up to it, you'd be more than happy to continue where you two left off after you finish with Skullkini's punishment.
>>
No. 707037 ID: c3abbf

Look, there's nothing wrong with... enjoying intimacy, to most of the monsters around here it's totally normal. You heard what the orc said, this made you seem less objectionable. It makes you more huma- er, I mean, mortal. Down-to-earth. It's nothing to be ashamed about.

The only thing that could possibly be shameful about it is that we're currently pretending to be undead, so you might get rumored to emphasize a bit more of the "romancer" in "necromancer", but we've already established that we're an almost-alive undead, anyway. No-one objects to vampires getting involved with ladies, no-one'll mind this either.

No-one reasonable, anyway, there's always someone who objects to anything. Never mind them.
>>
No. 707039 ID: 2a7417

She'll have plenty of time to get past shallow first impressions while she's watching your eldritch cartoons with us. Now get dressed and ready for an anime marathon!
>>
No. 707042 ID: 139629

Skullkini's an immature tomboy that covers her own insecurities by bullying others. Why should you care about what she thinks of you?

Plus, lots of people sleeps in the nude. There's nothing embarrassing about that. And it's not like a mistress is never naked before her servants. How would she have her dresses made for her and whatnot? How would she thoroughly bathe?

So chin up and prepare yourself to unleash all of your frustrations on Skullkini. In a moderate way.
>>
No. 707057 ID: 5ad4a7

>>707025
Konda, she said "you guys might not be so bad". Sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of, she was just laughing because she caught you.
>>
No. 707073 ID: 02422f

>monster under the bed
Pfff.

>what is she going to think of-of me
I believe she already said what she thinks.
>YOU GUYS MIGHT NOT BE THAT BAD AFTER ALL!

>i am never going to get out from under this bed... this is my home now..."
That might be awkward when our stay here runs out and you find yourself living under the bed of the next resident of this guest room.
>>
No. 707078 ID: 15a025

Is it time for the Boob Tube yet ;^)
>>
No. 707113 ID: c45b7e

>>707025
nothing to be ashamed of. We all must rest, and it is now time for us to enjoy your fiction.
>>
No. 707138 ID: 799984

>>707025
I thought sexual confidence and dominance was considered a positive (evil) trait for sorceresses (of evil).
>>
No. 707140 ID: 694a22

We could simply have skullkini swear not to speak of this to anyone in exchange for letting her pass on watching some of konda's shows, problem solved!
>>
No. 707141 ID: 343b23

We're her knight no matter what she does well protect her and fix things.
>>
No. 707213 ID: e1b46d
File 145709869526.jpg - (60.54KB , 800x460 , AMHQ179.jpg )
707213

I TRY TO COMFORT HER WITH REASSURING PATS ON HER HEAD

"DO NOT BE SO WORRIED. YOU HEARD WHAT SHE SAID, NO? SHE THINKS YOU MIGHT BE MORE FUN."

Konda: "She was just making fun of me..."

"SHE CERTAINLY WON'T ANYMORE. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED, IT'S A NATURAL THING TO SLEEP OR RELAX IN THE NUDE IN THE INTIMACY OF YOUR OWN PRIVATE QUARTERS."

Konda: "Uuuuurgh. Why am i so stupid."
>>
No. 707214 ID: e1b46d
File 145709899673.jpg - (41.31KB , 500x700 , AMHQ180.jpg )
707214

"NO YOU ARE NOT. AND LET'S BE HONEST. SKULLKINI IS A TOWERING ORC THAT SUFFER OF BEING TICKLISH. HOW COULD SHE BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY ON HER OWN. SHE'S PROBABLY JUST TRYING TO LOOK TOUGH JUST TO COVER UP HER INSECURITIES AND WEAKNESSES."

I CARESS HER HAIR.

"LET'S JUST TRY TO ENJOY THE AFTERNOON AND EVENING. IF SHE TRIES ANYTHING I WILL TAKE CARE OF HER. I AM YOUR KNIGHT AFTER ALL, NO? NO ONE WILL QUESTION YOUR HONOUR WITHOUT FACING ME!"
>>
No. 707215 ID: e1b46d
File 145709926940.jpg - (55.34KB , 800x500 , AMHQ181.jpg )
707215

KONDA SNIFFLES

Konda: "Y-yeah. That's right."

"ALRIGHT. SHALL WE WATCH SOME SHOWS?"

Konda: "Yeah."

Konda: "..."

Konda: "C-could you... uhm"

"STAY OUT WHILE YOU PUT SOMETHING ON?"

Konda: "Y-Yeah."

I GET UP AND LEAVE THE ROOM, CLOSING THE DOOR BEHIND ME. MOMENTS LATER KONDA SAYS THAT WE CAN COME IN.

I GIVE A STERN LOOK AT SKULLKINI AND WE BOTH GET IN.
>>
No. 707217 ID: e1b46d
File 145709979922.jpg - (65.41KB , 800x500 , AMHQ182.jpg )
707217

WE ALL SIT AND LAY AROUND THE CRYSTAL BALL. KONDA EXCITEDLY EXPLAIN WHAT SHE HAS.

Konda: "Ok... I have three shows saved we can watch. The first one is called Tales of an original love story, which tells the tale of two families that are at war, but the two heirs of the families fall in love. Tales of an original Revenge, which is a classic in the genre and one of the first made, and last one is Tales of an original alien matchmaking system, that is a parody of weird fantastical adventures in alternate universes. Which one you want to see?"

Skullkini: "I don't care they all sound"

I CRACK MY KNUCKLES

Skullkini: "Ehm! ... interesting! I don't know what i could choose. Never seen any of those"

Konda: "Uh... ok. What about you, Sir Deathy?"
>>
No. 707218 ID: e4abe1

>>707217
revenge one!
>>
No. 707220 ID: 904bad

Is the war shown on the ToaOLoveStory? maybe we can hype Skullkini with it, if not, probably the better option is ToaORevenge. The parody requires knowledge of the tropes of the genre, and is probably not going to be as funny to un-initiated viewers.
>>
No. 707225 ID: cab7d6

Tales of an Original Enemy Quest! Alien Speed-Dating Service!
>>
No. 707227 ID: 0777f3

Alright I'd rather educate than punish here. The first one is probably out for being too much something she'll hate. She probably lacks the contextual experience of weird adventure stories to appreciate a parody of them. The revenge story could be something she may appreciate, so let's go with that.
>>
No. 707228 ID: 0023b9

>Tales of an original alien matchmaking system
>>
No. 707252 ID: 139629

>>707217
'Tales of an original alien matchmaking system' sounds interesting in the "I've never heard of this one before" kind of way.
>>
No. 707253 ID: 139629

How about...you know...we watch all three?
>>
No. 707255 ID: 7b7ab3

>>707217
>Tales of an original alien matchmaking system
This one! Definitely this one!
>>
No. 707256 ID: 2a7417

>>707253
Yeah! Marathon! Marathon!
>>
No. 707266 ID: e1b46d
File 145712540113.jpg - (60.53KB , 750x600 , AMHQ183.jpg )
707266

"UUUUH... WE COULD... WATCH ALL OF THEM? MAYBE STARTING WITH THE EASIEST ONE TO FOLLOW? "

Konda: "Ooooh! That's a good idea! We can start with the Revenge!"

Skullkini: "Oh gods..."

WE BEGIN WATCHING THE SPHEREVISION.

THE SHOW IS ABOUT A WEIRD GUY THAT WANTS REVENGE, AND SOMETHING ELSE. I HAVE TO ADMIT THESE KIND OF SHOW AND PERFORMANCES AREN'T MY BREAD AND BUTTER.
>>
No. 707267 ID: e1b46d
File 145712569190.jpg - (75.74KB , 800x600 , AMHQ184.jpg )
707267

BUT AT LEAST KONDA AND SKULLKINI SEEM TO BE GOING ALONG.

AFTER THE FIRST SHOW SKULLKINI HAS STARTED TO SHOW INTEREST IN THEM AND THEY ARE NOW DISCUSSING ABOUT THE SECOND SHOW.

Skullkini: "OH COME ON THAT'S MINOTAURSHIT! Why would he go for the cyclop noble? The barbarian is clearly the better choice!"

Konda: "Ssssssh! Well, that's his job. He has to date all of them! But later he'll start to develop feeling for each one of them. Just wait"

Skullkini: "Well, he better choose the barbarian in the end!"

I REALLY DON'T GET THESE MONSTERS...
>>
No. 707268 ID: e1b46d
File 145712587841.jpg - (35.08KB , 500x700 , AMHQ185.jpg )
707268

NOW THAT I REALIZE IT, I WOULD HAVE NEVER IMAGINED MYSELF SPENDING A RELAXING EVENING WITH MONSTERS.

ACTUALLY NOW THAT I THINK OF, I HAVEN'T REALLY MANAGED TO RELAX MUCH IN THESE LATER YEARS. IT'S A GOOD CHANGE OF PACE.

"LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE HAVING FUN, EH?"

"YEAH"

UH?
>>
No. 707270 ID: e1b46d
File 145712599410.jpg - (54.33KB , 750x600 , AMHQ186.jpg )
707270

"AT LEAST I AM GLAD ONE OF US IS ENJOYING HIMSELF..."

HUMPREY?
>>
No. 707271 ID: 3663d3

no, send away this phantom. you know your brother would have died doing what he set out to do. fighting evil is fun in it's own way.
>>
No. 707272 ID: 88e46e

>>707270
"HI. DID YOU FIND THE HOLY LANCE?"
>>
No. 707273 ID: 5ad4a7

>>707270
You fell asleep. Rude. Wake up.

You don't even know that he's dead. He just disappeared. Do you really think someone as strong as your brother would die to these monsters? It's more likely he got bored and became a hermit.
>>
No. 707277 ID: aeadbb

>>707270
>Ask him what he meant with the weird hints!
>>
No. 707279 ID: 694a22

"AWAY FOUL PHANTOM! YOU SHALL NOT DECEIVE ME WITH YOUR FALSEHOOD!"
>>
No. 707281 ID: 7b7ab3

>>707267
I L O V E
>>707270
"Oh, hello brother. You look different."
>>
No. 707282 ID: 2a7417

Oh come off it Humphrey, you know you enjoy a challenge. You look like you've been busy!
>>
No. 707291 ID: 99a64d

Dreadful apparition, why do you trouble me?
>>
No. 707292 ID: 799984

Feel bad about failing to avenge your brother.

Feel jealous at his badass-ness. I mean, look at those weapons sticking out of him? You'd have trouble with half as many mortal wounds; he really is impressive.
>>
No. 707293 ID: 5812ad

>>707267
I dunno I kind of favor the golem bard girl
>>707272
"IS THAT THE HOLY LANCE? WHAT AN ODD WAY TO FIND IT."
THE PLOT THICKENS, MUCH LIKE GRAVY AND NOT AT ALL LIKE ANY SORT OF SEXUAL ORGAN.
>>
No. 707302 ID: f6442a

>>707267
My favorite would have to be the queen of the kobold hive.

Brother! Pull that stick out of your midsection so I can give you a hug!
>>
No. 707304 ID: 5eaad8

>>707293
Dude, the kobold clan for sure!
>>
No. 707306 ID: 02422f

>>707270
You can't truly believe your own brother would wish for you to suffer?

You are on his trail. Soon, you will know his fate. Vengeance will be yours. That you have born witness to the goodness in others in the meanwhile does not diminish this. Light and right is the business of paladins, in whatever form it takes.
>>
No. 707332 ID: 0777f3

Come on that's obviously a fake. Do you really think your brother would want your quest for vengeance to consume you completely? He sounded too much like a cool dude for that.
>>
No. 707354 ID: 139629

Disperse these morbid thoughts. Everyone with half a brain knows that retribution is a dish best served cold and your brother would certainly be understanding of that...if he were dead and a phantom.
>>
No. 707381 ID: 15720c

>>707293
Golem Bard for the win.
>AT LEAST I AM GLAD ONE OF US IS ENJOYING HIMSELF...
Well, he's happy for you, despite not enjoying his own self. What happened to him? He seems to have been harmed. He surely didn't die, if he's speaking to you now?
>>
No. 707410 ID: b18882
File 145720289607.jpg - (60.14KB , 800x570 , AMHQ187.jpg )
707410

"BROTHER? THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? "

"BROTHER..."

"DREADFUL APPARITION, DID YOU COME TO MOCK ME FOR NOT BEING AS GREAT AS YOU WERE? FOR BEFRIENDING MONSTERS? OR ARE YOU HERE TO SHOW ME THE RIGHT WAY? "

"BROTHER..."

"I PROMISE, BROTHER. I SHALL MAKE THINGS RIGHT. I SWEAR I ONLY FELT MY CONVINCTIONS FALTER ONLY FOR FEW SECONDS! A CURSE IN THE BOOK..."

"WOULD YOU LET ME TALK ALREADY? JEEZ!"

"OH, SORRY. TALK TO ME, BROTHER..."
>>
No. 707411 ID: b18882
File 145720315905.jpg - (55.46KB , 630x600 , AMHQ188.jpg )
707411

"OK, LET'S JUST GO STEP BY STEP. YOU DO REALIZE I AM NOT REALLY YOUR BROTHER, RIGHT? I'M JUST YOUR CONSCIENCE."

"THEN WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THIS?"

"HOW WOULD I KNOW! YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS. ANYWAY... LISTEN. YOU'VE BEEN HAVING A BUNCH OF WEIRD THOUGHTS THAT SHOOK THE BELIEFS THAT WERE INGRAINED IN YOUR BRAIN DURING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, NO?"

"N-NO!"

"..."

"OK... MAYBE..."

"MAYBE? YOU WERE ABOUT TO LAY WITH A MONSTER. THAT'S MORE THAN MAYBE AHAH"

"THAT WAS A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS. IT WON'T HAPPEN EVER AGAIN..."

"WHY NOT?"

"UH?"
>>
No. 707413 ID: b18882
File 145720348182.jpg - (53.09KB , 600x600 , AMHQ189.jpg )
707413

"WELL, YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE WITH THE CONVICTION THAT MONSTERS WERE BRUTE AND HORRIBLE CREATURES, NO? AND YET IN THESE FEW DAYS YOU SAW HOW MORE CIVILIZED THEY ARE. HOW MORE AND MORE SIMILAR TO HUMAN THEY ARE, NO?"

"Y-YEAH..."

"AND I MEAN. YOU SAW THE NOTES, NO? AND MAYBE WHEN I CAME TO THE MONSTERLAND I LEARNT ABOUT THIS DIFFERENCE. OR MAYBE I KNEW ABOUT IT ALREADY."

"WAIT, AREN'T YOU JUST MY CONSCIENCE?"

"OHFORF... IT'S JUST META-SPEECH. GOOD LORDS... ANYWAY. WHILE LOOKING FOR ME... WHILE LOOKING FOR YOUR BROTHER, YOU MIGHT FIND OUT MORE AND MORE. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE READY TO LEARN THE TRUTH ABOUT THE MONSTERS?"

"I... YES. AND MAYBE I'LL FIND OUT THEY AREN'T SO BAD"

"WELL I'D SAY SO. IF THEY WERE BAD YOU'D BE ALREADY SCREWED, LITTLE BROTHER. SINCE YOU FELL ASLEEP IN A ROOM WITH TWO OF THEM..."

OH!
>>
No. 707414 ID: b18882
File 145720349964.jpg - (81.89KB , 800x450 , AMHQ190.jpg )
707414

>>
No. 707415