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File 143976386030.png - (172.37KB , 700x700 , 1-01.png )
663050 No. 663050 ID: c0fe75

YOU MAGIC BALL!
ME HRRUGH!

OK MAGIC BALL, tell Hrrugh how get HRRUGH SPESHUL DREAM!!
82 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 664727 ID: c0fe75
File 144038755820.png - (207.06KB , 700x700 , 1-09d.png )
664727

>Look over there and stop think how often Ogres get taken seriously when they want to do something besides smash something.
...Good point. But I don't think tall, green, and ugly over there even notices it. I'm a little envious of his, err, blithe cheerfulness.

>Fifi stop trying to banish us. Shouldn't your master be interested in strange voices from beyond the veil?
>Putting aside the appeal to sympathy though, have you considered this isn't necessarily a bad thing? That maybe, just maybe, a scrying stone doing several impossible things (communicating across words, attuned to more than one person, able to communicate without touching) is more valuable than a scrying stone working normally? This isn't a mistake to wipe or 'fix'. This is previously unknown magical behavior to be exploited and/or studied. You can't see opportunity there?
What kind of a conjurer do you think would take a Kobold under his wing, huh? Eleorin's not, uh... the cream of the crop, let's say. Frankly, I don't even like him. But he's the only ticket I've got to becoming a conjurer myself! Sure, a true master conjurer, someone who truly lives for the craft, would be utterly fascinated all this--but not Eleorin. He's interested in... more mundane things, to put it charitably. The orb was supposed to be a gift, so I don't think he's going to be pleased that I've accidentally rendered it useless for that purpose.

>Also, possibly, an ogre that wants something other than to smash things.
A magical impossibility is one thing, but I can safely say that Eleorin definitely wants nothing to do with any ogre. Then again... neither do I!

"Okay Hrrugh, 'Elron's' on his way over. Hand me the or--err, the 'magic ball' so we can make it 'better'."
"OK PEEPEE! But give back REAL FAST!"

plop

"Err, thanks Hrrugh."
Eeeugh!
>>
No. 664728 ID: c0fe75
File 144038758764.png - (134.36KB , 700x700 , 1-09e.png )
664728

>"Alright Fifi, what's so important that you had to interrupt my--BYTHEGODSWHATISTHATOGREDOINGHEREKILLIT!"
"No! Master, he's with me!"
>"What in the world are you talking about?! He's with you?"
"Something happened with the scrying orb! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
>"What do you mean, 'something happened'? Don't try my patience, mutt. Out with it!"
>>
No. 664732 ID: 0ee153

We serve Hrrugh now. Swear fealty to him or die.
>>
No. 664733 ID: d90668

Just tell him a bunch of otherworldy spirits have possessed the scrying orb and they have crazy ideas about making the ogre a famous composer.

Actually just hand us to him and we can confuse him ourselves.
>>
No. 664735 ID: 334db2

Well, tell him what happened, with some CYA thrown in. The ogre chased you off, got his hands on the stone, now it's host to a bunch of handsome spirits of great refinement and taste who can talk to anyone that holds the stone. Also, we want to fulfill the ogre's wish to become a composer for shits and giggles.
>>
No. 664737 ID: 0fc976

Just hand us over and let us do the talking. So much talking! Eheeheehee. We'll get your master to loosen up, unwind a little! Or maybe unravel completely. Ahahahaha!
>>
No. 664738 ID: ab7529

We've rebelled against your tyranny, petty elf.
>>
No. 664743 ID: e114bc

>>664728
MUTT?!

Fifi, fuck this guy. He's never going to let you learn real magic. We can make you a conjurer. Stick with us, we'll make your dream come true just like we'll make Hrrugh's dream come true. Think about it. Hrrugh is the muscle, you can be the brains, I can tell you're pretty smart. People will underestimate the both of you individually, but together you can accomplish great things.
>>
No. 664744 ID: dbe554

..While the above is good and all, could we get the Orb a good cleaning, maybe something to wrap in before we go back to his 'pocket'.

I mean we are a bunch of scrying spirits and all but we need some sort of standard!
>>
No. 664779 ID: ad936f

LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE
>>
No. 664789 ID: 464c46

Remember Fifi, HRRUGH is your friend now so if any thing goes wrong you can call to him for help.

And seriously, if this guys not that good of a conjurer and isn't even all that interested in it then why stick with him? Just take the magically improbable orb to an actual competent mage and bam free pass.

Also the ogre keeps the orb in his pants. Not in his pockets but pants, so you've technically gotten to know this ogre more than you think.

HA HAAA SECOND
>>
No. 664790 ID: 3663d3

shove us up his stupid nose.
>>
No. 664795 ID: b9cef6

Yo elf. You magic a shit.
Bonk him with us, or something.
>>
No. 664822 ID: 4ed066

Please put us on a staff large enough that Hrrugh will not consider putting it/us in his pants.

Also, Fifi: Is it possible for someone like Eleorin there to use up a budding talent like yours, for their own benefit? Are you certain that you didn't merely sell yourself cheap into slavery with this apprenticeship of yours?

Hrrugh, at least, is direct and open about his motives and motivations.
>>
No. 665012 ID: 99cfa8

>Just take the magically improbable orb to an actual competent mage and bam free pass.
This sounds like a good plan to me. Seriously fuck this guy.
>>
No. 665639 ID: c0fe75
File 144090378907.png - (61.49KB , 700x700 , 1-10a.png )
665639

>We serve Hrrugh now. Swear fealty to him or die.
>We've rebelled against your tyranny, petty elf.
Yeah uh, I really wanna keep this apprenticeship, so I don't think I'll be saying any of that. Eleorin's a tremendous jerk, but he's also a useful tremendous jerk!

>shove us up his stupid nose.
>Bonk him with us, or something.
That's an even worse idea than demanding his obedience!

>Fifi, fuck this guy. He's never going to let you learn real magic. We can make you a conjurer. Stick with us, we'll make your dream come true just like we'll make Hrrugh's dream come true. Think about it. Hrrugh is the muscle, you can be the brains, I can tell you're pretty smart. People will underestimate the both of you individually, but together you can accomplish great things.
Err, no offense, but Eleorin actually is a conjurer, and has taught me some things, whereas you're... just a bunch of voices in my head. So I'm not just going to throw away my only shot at being something more than just a lowly kobold subsistence farmer, just because you say you can make me a conjurer. Life isn't fair, I accepted that long ago; smart or not, being a kobold means I've got to take what I can get. I'll consider trying to rise above my station after I've learned all I can from Eleorin... if he'll even give me the opportunity, at this point.

>And seriously, if this guys not that good of a conjurer and isn't even all that interested in it then why stick with him? Just take the magically improbable orb to an actual competent mage and bam free pass.
Oh, right! What a great idea! I'll just consult my list of "good conjurers who will listen to kobolds"... Oh wait! There's no such thing. Even if there was, truly good mages have these things called "guards" who don't particularly like kobolds! I mean, even Eleorin has them!

>LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE
You first!

>Remember Fifi, HRRUGH is your friend now so if any thing goes wrong you can call to him for help.
I don't find that particularly reassuring.

>Also the ogre keeps the orb in his pants. Not in his pockets but pants, so you've technically gotten to know this ogre more than you think.
...I don't like you.

>..While the above is good and all, could we get the Orb a good cleaning, maybe something to wrap in before we go back to his 'pocket'.
>I mean we are a bunch of scrying spirits and all but we need some sort of standard!
>Please put us on a staff large enough that Hrrugh will not consider putting it/us in his pants.
Apparently you guys don't like "knowing" the ogre any more than I do!

>Also, Fifi: Is it possible for someone like Eleorin there to use up a budding talent like yours, for their own benefit? Are you certain that you didn't merely sell yourself cheap into slavery with this apprenticeship of yours?
>Hrrugh, at least, is direct and open about his motives and motivations.
Cheap slavery? No, that's not it. Master Eleorin dislikes me and thinks I'm useless; he's got another reason for keeping me around... but I'd rather not say why.
>>
No. 665640 ID: c0fe75
File 144090384883.png - (254.73KB , 700x700 , 1-10b.png )
665640

>>Just tell him a bunch of otherworldy spirits have possessed the scrying orb and they have crazy ideas about making the ogre a famous composer.
>>Well, tell him what happened, with some CYA thrown in. The ogre chased you off, got his hands on the stone, now it's host to a bunch of handsome spirits of great refinement and taste who can talk to anyone that holds the stone. Also, we want to fulfill the ogre's wish to become a composer for shits and giggles.

"Well uh, you see, I was getting the orb filled with mana like you told me to, and then the ogre back there came running up. I thought he was gonna eat me! So I ran away and, um, I guess the orb fell out of my pack, and he took it. And to make a long story short, now it's attuned to him, somehow. And to me. And uh, somehow to a bunch of otherworldly beings, who... want to help the ogre become a bard or composer or something."
>"Wow. I'm impressed, Fifi."
"You... are?"
>"Yes. I had no idea you were so skilled at making up complete nonsense. You should've stayed in your little kobold shanty town and been a mongrel politician."

>>Actually just hand us to him and we can confuse him ourselves.
>>Just hand us over and let us do the talking. So much talking! Eheeheehee. We'll get your master to loosen up, unwind a little! Or maybe unravel completely. Ahahahaha!

"No, no, Master! It's true! Here, take the orb, listen for yourself!
>"Hmph. Clearly I've been wasting my time trying to teach you, if you don't even remember that one must be attuned to an orb in order to use it!"
"B-but I've became attuned to it just by touching it! I know it's bizarre and unorthodox, but I swear that it's the truth!"
>"Sigh. Very well, hand it here. Let us entertain your delusion and get this over with."
>>
No. 665642 ID: c0fe75
File 144090400631.png - (173.37KB , 700x700 , 1-10c.png )
665642

"Okay then, O 'otherworldly beings', do speak up! Don't be shy!"
>>
No. 665643 ID: c0fe75
File 144090401679.png - (173.37KB , 700x700 , 1-10c.png )
665643

"Okay then, O 'otherworldly beings', do speak up! Don't be shy!"
>>
No. 665644 ID: a19cd5

>>665639
SUP
WE'VE BEEN RUBBING UP AGAINST OGRE DICK
IT'S ON YOUR HAAAAAAAANDS
>>
No. 665645 ID: c0fe75

>>665643
Apologies for the double post.
>>
No. 665646 ID: d90668

Ha ha ha in touching the dreaded orb you have forfeited your soul to us the horrible demons of the netherworld.
>>
No. 665648 ID: ba3853

You talkin' shit about our attunement you punk-lookin' stage magician?!? Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll finally find a brain back there!
>>
No. 665650 ID: e114bc

>>665643
What have you been doing to this kobold? Have you been eliciting sexual favors in exchange for your teachings?

That's illegal in this multiverse. Why don't you give us a good reason not to inform the interdimensional police?
>>
No. 665662 ID: 0fc976

Hello miss, have you seen any conjurers around? We were told there was a powerful conjurer in this camp, but I'm afraid we haven't sensed anything.
>>
No. 665671 ID: dbe554

Apologies for the rest of the voices, but we've been stuck with an ogre for a period of time and it's..rubbing off, in too many ways.

Regardless, we are pretty much here and I suppose we've taken it to task to help, whether it be for the Ogre or Fifi...Or you, since your technically the proper owner of this orb.

Also, might want to wash your hands after touching this, they aren't kidding about where he keeps the orb.
>>
No. 665677 ID: 227a05

Hi.
>>
No. 665723 ID: ad936f

Hello, you are currently holding a magic item that is way above your pay grade. If you had any real credentials as a mage you might understand what that means, as it stands the most impressive thing about you seems to be your horrendous eyebrow grooming.
>>
No. 665724 ID: 1cebc8

Okay, you probably want an explanation.

Your scrying orb is actually an Orb of Infinite Psyche, a powerful tool that allows multiple individuals from across the multiverse to speak with its user. Currently, you're speaking to the TGChan hub network.

We're a mercenary sort, having little stake in whatever quest we take on for a client. Sometimes we assist heroes in saving the weak and building their power bases, sometimes we advise villains on how to best conquer their respective worlds unrespectfully, and sometimes we get a connection to a weird place and just experiment with humorous results. Usually, our affiliation is an "Early Bird" status so we (usually) try to assist the first person who comes into contact with us.

Which is this big lug.

He wants to be a conductor. Think you can do that? Low standards and you get an army of morons fixated on music.
>>
No. 665730 ID: a54087

We have been in the ogres pants! We have seen things treefucker! SEEN THINGS! Also whats your idea of a romantic night out?
>>
No. 665735 ID: 01ddf7

YOUR EYEBROWS ARE SHIT AND YOURE RACIST
okay now seriously you wanna ascend above MEDIOCRE conjurer? Listen to us, bub.
>>
No. 665749 ID: 6803f5

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elder berries!
>>
No. 665947 ID: 99cfa8

>>665645
You can delete posts on this board.

DON'T WORRY, WE AREN'T.

HI.

YOU HAVE THUS FAR MADE AN EXTREMELY POOR IMPRESSION. CHANGE THIS AND YOU MAY BENEFIT FROM OUR POWERS. CONTINUE AS YOU ARE AND RISK OUR WRATH.
>>
No. 665950 ID: e114bc

>>665724
>orb of infinite psyche
Please let this not be the real explanation. It's such an overused name for headvoice orbs.
>>
No. 665956 ID: ad936f

>>665724
>Your scrying orb is actually an Orb of Infinite Psyche, a powerful tool that allows multiple individuals from across the multiverse to speak with its user. Currently, you're speaking to the TGChan hub network.

Can we veto this line?
>>
No. 666103 ID: 99cfa8

>>665956
Why bother? It's not like he'll have any idea what it means.
>>
No. 666106 ID: 57dfcc

>>665956
Yes, please.
>>
No. 666131 ID: 82c018

Hey. Hey you. You interested in some secrets?
>>
No. 666134 ID: c0fe75
File 144107630317.png - (170.25KB , 700x700 , 1-11a.png )
666134

>Hi.
...Hello? Who is this?!

>Okay, you probably want an explanation.
No, I want this extremely expensive orb purified and deattuned! I don't give a flying tosh who you are or what you want to do!

>What have you been doing to this kobold? Have you been eliciting sexual favors in exchange for your teachings?
Eeeeuuugh! That's revolting!

>Ha ha ha in touching the dreaded orb you have forfeited your soul to us the horrible demons of the netherworld.
Ye gods--daemons?! What has that filthy mongrel done?!

>Hey. Hey you. You interested in some secrets?
Spare me your infernal taradiddles, monster!

>YOU HAVE THUS FAR MADE AN EXTREMELY POOR IMPRESSION. CHANGE THIS AND YOU MAY BENEFIT FROM OUR POWERS. CONTINUE AS YOU ARE AND RISK OUR WRATH.
I do not fraternize with manifestations of hellish spectres! I know far better than to trust your kind. No, I shall have all of you banished back to whatever nightmarish realm from which you spawned.

>Hello miss, have you seen any conjurers around? We were told there was a powerful conjurer in this camp, but I'm afraid we haven't sensed anything.
>You talkin' shit about our attunement you punk-lookin' stage magician?!? Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll finally find a brain back there!
>Hello, you are currently holding a magic item that is way above your pay grade. If you had any real credentials as a mage you might understand what that means, as it stands the most impressive thing about you seems to be your horrendous eyebrow grooming.
>YOUR EYEBROWS ARE SHIT AND YOURE RACIST
>okay now seriously you wanna ascend above MEDIOCRE conjurer? Listen to us, bub.
>Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elder berries!
Enough of this mockery! I will not tolerate such things from foul, daemonic spectres!


>We have seen things treefucker! SEEN THINGS!
W-what?! How do you know--
>>
No. 666135 ID: c0fe75
File 144107634317.png - (497.15KB , 700x2100 , 1-11b.png )
666135

>SUP
>WE'VE BEEN RUBBING UP AGAINST OGRE DICK
>IT'S ON YOUR HAAAAAAAANDS
>We have been in the ogres pants!
>Also, might want to wash your hands after touching this, they aren't kidding about where he keeps the orb.
>>
No. 666136 ID: c0fe75
File 144107637253.png - (205.28KB , 700x700 , 1-11c.png )
666136

"Fifi, hold this. That's a good girl."
>>
No. 666137 ID: c0fe75
File 144107642302.png - (882.22KB , 700x2100 , 1-11d.png )
666137

>"That's better. You owe me a new pair of gloves, in addition to the cost of the scrying orb that you've ruined."

"B-but Master Eleorin, surely there's some way I can fix it, right?!"
>>
No. 666138 ID: c0fe75
File 144107646299.png - (278.86KB , 700x700 , 1-11e.png )
666138

>"Silence, you stupid, flea-bitten mongrel! Do you even realize what you've done? You had a single task: fill the orb with mana! That's it! And yet you bring it to me infested by fiends from the nether planes, and attuned to this... this hideous creature! Your incompetence knows no bounds! I would say 'tis a miracle that you even know how to breathe, but I dare say it's obviously a curse!"


What did you guys say to him?!!
>>
No. 666146 ID: d90668

You know words and stuff. Bit of talking, bit of insane rambling. Possibly something about being rubbed all over ogre crotch for awhile.

Tell him that the orb says that you that you had nothing to do with us getting stuck in this thing.

We did not intend to be here so it was due to a outside force. Ask him if he has irritated any gods lately that would enjoy fucking with him. He is free to try and destroy us but it might end up with him getting smote for ruining some greater powers fun. Also we might start haunting his clothes or other personal belongings.
>>
No. 666147 ID: 3663d3

we just told him the truth. the fact he is freaking out shows that the truth hurts.
>>
No. 666149 ID: e114bc

>>666138
A bunch of nonsense. Tell him if we were really demons we wouldn't have told him. We're just a bunch of liars really. I'm not even sure what we are. Probably spirits of the dead or something.
>>
No. 666151 ID: a19cd5

>>666135
I have no regrets
>>
No. 666153 ID: b84fbd

The finer points of grooming and manners, and that we've been in the ogre's pants. He was only really unhappy about that last one.

Tell him we promise to bugger off if he helps fulfill the ogre achieve his dream.
>>
No. 666156 ID: 0fc976

All we said was that we could smell his questionable hygiene from outside the camp. Honestly, I don't know what could have set him off like that.

You like groveling, don't you? So grovel! Grovel at his feet until he gives you some new petty task.
>>
No. 666161 ID: b9cef6

Oh, nothing much. We just told him how we've been covered in ogre dick, and he was holding us in his hands.
Oh, uh. You might want to wash your hands later. 'Cause now you're holding us.
>>
No. 666234 ID: ad936f

I think that went well. We just explained a few things in plain terms that his simple mind could understand. Also, he confirmed that he does, in fact, fuck trees.
>>
No. 666241 ID: 82c018

Hey elf, I bet you can still hear this, can't you?
>>
No. 666251 ID: 102f54

Your master fucked a tree. How does that make you feel?
>>666234
>>
No. 666291 ID: 330ce5

That exchange went swimmingly, we now know this elf is useless and really loves trees. We should grab your remaining supplies at camp and search for greener fields. Consider traveling with Hrrugh, would be a lot safter then traveling alone.
>>
No. 666333 ID: 99cfa8

>>666138
We gave him the usual treatment for people we don't like. That is, lots of insults and scary-sounding nonsense with a few choice unpleasant facts mixed in.
In this case, our close proximity with ogre dick.

>>666234
Oh wow, he did. How does that even...
HEY ELF. How does fucking a tree work, exactly? Do you like carve a hole in it first, or...?

Hey Hrrugh. This treefucking elf decided he wants to destroy us instead of improving us like we were promised. Bash the hell out of him, grab Fifi and let's get out of here.
>>
No. 667115 ID: c0fe75
File 144134140979.png - (257.25KB , 700x700 , 1-12a.png )
667115

"I'm sorry, Master Eleorin! It was an accident! I don't even know how it ha--"

>"Spare me your prattle! The only mistake here is my having agreed to take you on as an apprentice! Do you have any idea, inside that tiny rodent brain of yours, just how much that orb is worth? No, of course not--a savage such as yourself has no hope of comprehending such things! It's time I sent you away for good! I can't believe you... blah blah blah, you're always yada yada yada... blah blah blah..."


...Great, he's gotten all worked up again. I usually just tune him out when he gets like this, until he works it out of his system.


>>We did not intend to be here so it was due to a outside force. Ask him if he has irritated any gods lately that would enjoy fucking with him. He is free to try and destroy us but it might end up with him getting smote for ruining some greater powers fun. Also we might start haunting his clothes or other personal belongings.
>>Tell him we promise to bugger off if he helps fulfill the ogre achieve his dream.
Yeah uh, Eleorin's not gonna notice a thing I say as long as he's yelling at me... but maybe I'll try that after he's calmed down.

>>You like groveling, don't you? So grovel! Grovel at his feet until he gives you some new petty task.
Two steps ahead of you, buster!


>>You know words and stuff. Bit of talking, bit of insane rambling. Possibly something about being rubbed all over ogre crotch for awhile.
>>Tell him that the orb says that you that you had nothing to do with us getting stuck in this thing.
>>we just told him the truth. the fact he is freaking out shows that the truth hurts.
>>A bunch of nonsense. Tell him if we were really demons we wouldn't have told him. We're just a bunch of liars really. I'm not even sure what we are. Probably spirits of the dead or something.
>>The finer points of grooming and manners, and that we've been in the ogre's pants. He was only really unhappy about that last one.
>>All we said was that we could smell his questionable hygiene from outside the camp. Honestly, I don't know what could have set him off like that.
>>Oh, nothing much. We just told him how we've been covered in ogre dick, and he was holding us in his hands.
>>I think that went well. We just explained a few things in plain terms that his simple mind could understand.
Right, so you told him a bunch of nonsense in order to make him angrier at me. You have my undying thanks.


>>That exchange went swimmingly, we now know this elf is useless and really loves trees. We should grab your remaining supplies at camp and search for greener fields. Consider traveling with Hrrugh, would be a lot safter then traveling alone.
Useless to you, maybe! But I'll tell you what: if I'm screwed over by all this and Eleorin kicks me to the curb, I'll go along for the ride, okay? It's not like I'd have mucb else to do if that happens...

>>Oh, uh. You might want to wash your hands later. 'Cause now you're holding us.
Honestly, I'm considering just immolating myself with that flameling Eleorin conjured.

>>Hey elf, I bet you can still hear this, can't you?
>>HEY ELF. How does fucking a tree work, exactly? Do you like carve a hole in it first, or...?
His rambling hasn't skipped a beat--I don't think he can hear you. Let's just say I'm deeply envious of that fact.

>>Hey Hrrugh. This treefucking elf decided he wants to destroy us instead of improving us like we were promised. Bash the hell out of him, grab Fifi and let's get out of here.
The ogre just looks bored out of his skull, back there... so he can't hear you either? What the hell... why am I the only one who doesn't have to hold the orb to hear you?!

>>Also, he confirmed that he does, in fact, fuck trees.
>>Your master fucked a tree. How does that make you feel?
A tree? What? ...Actually, you know what, I'd rather not think about Eleorin having sex with anything. Ugh.
...Oh, wait, I get it, he must've meant...
>>
No. 667117 ID: c0fe75
File 144134145168.png - (87.90KB , 700x700 , 1-12b.png )
667117

>"...blah blah yada yada... Fifi! Are you even paying attention?! Listen here, you mangy cur, you'd--"

>"Dooooggieeeee!!"

Oh gods not again
>>
No. 667119 ID: d90668

Quick throw the orb at them!

We will take one for the team!
>>
No. 667120 ID: 0fc976

Treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
>>
No. 667128 ID: 1cebc8

Throw us to Hrrugh! We can tell him to bear hug the psycho hippie!
>>
No. 667135 ID: e114bc

Hrrugh, intercept whatever that is! Protect Fifi!
>>
No. 667144 ID: dbe554

What did he mean, treeant? Treekin? Nymph? Regardless it seems you are about to be cuddled with a vengeance.
>>
No. 667162 ID: a107fd

Do NOT throw the orb at Eorin's wood-nymph girlfriend. Last time you tried using it as an improvised projectile, the thing with the ogre happened, and that's not even done happening yet. Just hold it out in her general direction so she grabs it first in the course of trying to hug you.
>>
No. 667296 ID: b9cef6

Accept it.
This is your life, until we can figure out a way to get you away from these losers.
>>
No. 667297 ID: 330ce5

Dodge then run behind Hrrugh, and if can please fill us in about who this person is.
>>
No. 667298 ID: 237a99

Evasive action!
>>
No. 667498 ID: c0fe75
File 144149013260.png - (131.21KB , 700x700 , 1-13a.png )
667498

>>Quick throw the orb at them!
>>Do NOT throw the orb at Eorin's wood-nymph girlfriend. Last time you tried using it as an improvised projectile, the thing with the ogre happened, and that's not even done happening yet.
>>Throw us to Hrrugh! We can tell him to bear hug the psycho hippie!
Okay, okay! I'll throw it to the ogre!

"Hrrugh, catch! Help me--Oof!"
>>
No. 667499 ID: c0fe75
File 144149017488.png - (181.09KB , 700x700 , 1-13b.png )
667499

PEEPEE gave MAGIC BALL back Hrrugh! Guess MAGIC BALL BETTER now!!

>>Hrrugh, intercept whatever that is! Protect Fifi!
WOT DAT MAGIC BALL? PEEPEE in TROUBLE?! Hrrugh no know wat INSEP mean so Hrrugh just SMASH TREE LADY!
>>
No. 667501 ID: c0fe75
File 144149020192.png - (298.85KB , 700x700 , 1-13c.png )
667501

>"Ohhh it's da widdle puppyyyyy! Good doggie woggie! Goood poochie woochie!"
>"Please... I can't... breathe!!"

"HEY TREE LADY LET PEEPEE GO!! PEEPEE HELP HRRUGH LEARN MAKE PRETTY SIFONY MUSIC!! LET GO OR HRRUGH SMASH!"
>>
No. 667502 ID: c0fe75
File 144149030662.png - (214.59KB , 700x700 , 1-13d.png )
667502

>"That brute is going to attack Lady Chrysopeleia! Kill it!!"
>"Uh, Master Eleorin, sir, I don't think--"
>"JUST SHOOT HIM YOU IDIOTS!!"

Oh shit not good not good why did I throw it to the ogre
>>
No. 667510 ID: d90668

They tried shooting him before and it did not do much. But if they do manage to hurt him your master and his guards might get pounded into past.

Not a huge loss really.
>>
No. 667516 ID: 3663d3

that elf says kill you, kill him first!
>>
No. 667518 ID: 237a99

FiFi, could you explain who this bitch is and why she has the hots for you?

Hrrugh, no smash. only separate.
>>
No. 667520 ID: ad936f

HRUGH! Do not smash stupid lady, pisspiss isn't in danger.
I know you can make music, but can you dance? The only way I see you coming out of this alive is if you bust out some moves so sick that the archers are all like, "I can't kill this ogre he's far too valuable to the world of dance, it would be a crime against the universe."
>>
No. 667545 ID: e114bc

>>667502
Hrrugh I think Fifi is fine. No smash.

Fifi, tell the plant lady to let go of you please.
>>
No. 667677 ID: a107fd

Stand down, Hrrugh. The kobold is not in (immediate) danger. Tree lady wants to be friends. She probably knows something about symphonic music, too, you should ask her about that.

Incidentally, if Eorin's orders are anything to go by, the guards are probably going to be shooting at you again soon. Before somebody gets a lucky hit in your eye or something, you might want disarm them... by which I mean taking away and destroying the crossbows, not ripping off delicate elven arms at the shoulder, just to avert the obvious.
>>
No. 667679 ID: 0fc976

No! Don't smash, Hruugh might smash Peepee too! Just use your skills at rotten garlic breath intimidation! Make the assailant wilt under your fearsome gaze!
>>
No. 667716 ID: 3009b4

Angry yell man is problem; makes angry yell noise.

Remove angry yell man's tongue. Make less noise.

Make sure stare at other guards while do it. Staring means they know you serious.
>>
No. 667743 ID: b9cef6

Dont smash her! Just smash them apart, gently. Don't want to accidentally hurt FiFi or the tree lady, do we?
>>
No. 668204 ID: c0fe75
File 144168046323.png - (176.12KB , 700x700 , 1-14a.png )
668204

>>Hrrugh, no smash. only separate.
>>HRUGH! Do not smash stupid lady, pisspiss isn't in danger.
>>Hrrugh I think Fifi is fine. No smash.
>>Stand down, Hrrugh. The kobold is not in (immediate) danger. Tree lady wants to be friends. She probably knows something about symphonic music, too, you should ask her about that.
No SMASH TREE LADY? MAGIC BALL think TREE LADY help Hrrugh MAKE SIFONY MUSIC?

>>Dont smash her! Just smash them apart, gently. Don't want to accidentally hurt FiFi or the tree lady, do we?
HUH?? SMASH... gentle? UMMM... Hrrugh TRY?
>>
No. 668206 ID: c0fe75
File 144168050948.png - (1.16MB , 700x4200 , 1-14b.png )
668206

HEY! GENTLE SMASH work! PEEPEE OK! Maybe TREE LADY teach Hrrugh how MAKE SIFONY MUSIC cuz Hrrugh NO REAL SMASH!

>"Aagh! ...Um. Thanks, Hrrugh?"
>>
No. 668207 ID: c0fe75
File 144168053776.png - (63.87KB , 700x700 , 1-14c.png )
668207

>>FiFi, could you explain who this bitch is and why she has the hots for you?
That's Chrysopeleia. She, um, thinks I'm Eleorin's pet dog. DON'T LAUGH. And speaking of "the hots," that's what Eleorin's got for her, 'cause he's got some kind of weirdo dryad fetish or something.

>>They tried shooting him before and it did not do much. But if they do manage to hurt him your master and his guards might get pounded into past.
>>Not a huge loss really.
That's what you think, but right now I need Eleorin alive! He can go get beaten to a pulp after I'm a full conjurer!
>>
No. 668208 ID: c0fe75
File 144168056045.png - (176.51KB , 700x700 , 1-14d.png )
668208

>"Just shoot him already!"
>"Sir, I don't think he's going to hurt--"
>"I don't care! Just kill it!"
>"With all due respect, sir, our arrows didn't do much against the earlier. And if it's not actually going to be violent, I don't think it's a good idea to provoke the beast! I think I speak for everyone here when I say we'd like to make it back home with our limbs intact."

>"...Fine. I will take care of this nuisance myself."
>>
No. 668210 ID: 3663d3

look he have magic hand, put us in hand to eat magic.
>>
No. 668212 ID: 1cebc8

Hrrugh, lick his hands! He uses magic with his mind, and you can attack his mind by breaking his concentration, which you can break by drowning his hands in your spit!

Basically, Slobber + Elf Hands -> Psychological Damage ON Elf -> Elf Brain GO BOOM
>>
No. 668233 ID: 0fc976

Elf lady's hand is on fire! Fire bad for tree lady! Quick, spit on it to put it out!
>>
No. 668236 ID: e114bc

>>668208
Fifi you're gonna have to intervene if you don't want him fighting the ogre and probably losing and dying.

Hrrugh, try not to kill the elf. Do you think you can grab him and like, break his hands or something to keep him alive yet also not fighting you?
>>
No. 668248 ID: a107fd

>>668207
> She, um, thinks I'm Eleorin's pet dog

You're claiming you aren't? I've seen dogs that got a lot more respect, and tricks taught to them, than Eleorin gives to you.
>>
No. 668299 ID: b9cef6

Hrrugh, would you poke the tree lady with us? Thanks.

GO HUG YOUR MAN
>>
No. 669687 ID: 220063
File 144229104040.png - (162.51KB , 700x700 , 1-15a.png )
669687

>>Hrrugh, would you poke the tree lady with us? Thanks.

OK! Hrrugh POKE!
>>
No. 669688 ID: 220063
File 144229122048.png - (149.81KB , 700x700 , 1-15b.png )
669688

>>GO HUG YOUR MAN

...wha? My man? Who said that...?
>>
No. 669690 ID: 220063
File 144229126365.png - (201.86KB , 700x700 , 1-15c.png )
669690

>>look he have magic hand, put us in hand to eat magic.
>>Hrrugh, lick his hands!
>>Elf lady's hand is on fire! Fire bad for tree lady! Quick, spit on it to put it out!
Hrrugh know what DO! Hrrugh lick STINKY ELF MAGIC off ELRON HANDS! Then magic make Hrrugh good SIFONY MUSIC GUY!

glorp

>"Aagh! Eeuuggh!! What in the world are you doing, you miserable beast?!"
>>
No. 669691 ID: 220063
File 144229132299.png - (224.98KB , 700x700 , 1-15d.png )
669691

Uurgh... Hrrugh no feel good...

>"Y-you hideous monster! Look what you've done! You're going to p--"

urrp
>>
No. 669692 ID: 220063
File 144229137286.png - (279.41KB , 700x700 , 1-15e.png )
669692

BLOOOORF
>>
No. 669693 ID: dbe554

He just...He just ate magic, How. HOW!? How is that possible in any sort of manner!?

...That can't be good for either of the two, I mean...What sort of effects are magic that's been eaten and literally belched up.. Is this an ogre trait?
>>
No. 669696 ID: e114bc

>>669692
Oh god, is he dead?
>>
No. 669698 ID: 1cebc8

THAT WAS AWESOME

Unfortunately, that means that he's on VOMIT FIRE

You need PISS WATER to stop him from burning alive

*Private*
lol
*/Private*
>>
No. 669702 ID: 0fc976

Hrrugh is master konjurer! That one step closer to making SIFONY musics!

Guess what Treetops, your boyfriend flambe over there got you a present - us! And I mean 'present' in the same way you get crabs.
>>
No. 669727 ID: a107fd

Eleorin, assuming you survive the short-term effects of this: know, now, that you will never be clean again. You will go home, and conjure the purest water and the finest brushes and the most astringent soaps, and scrub and scrub and scrub until all those tools are ruined and befouled and your skin is peeling off like birchbark, and the smell will never be gone. It's soaked into your muscles and bones by now. You will die and your soul will pass on and there, in the very moment you arrive at the halls of judgement, the God of Elves will notice you, and proclaim that your eternal rest shall be banishment to the howling darkness beyond, because the very essence of your being reeks of ogre vomit.
>>
No. 669781 ID: ad936f

If Eolorin is conscious tell him I called him a punk-ass bitch.
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