[Burichan] [Futaba] [Nice] [Pony]  -  [WT]  [Home] [Manage]
In memory of Flyin' Black Jackson
[Catalog View] :: [Quest Archive] :: [Rules] :: [Quests] :: [Discussions] :: [Wiki]

[Return] [Entire Thread] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]
Posting mode: Reply
Name (optional)
Email (optional, will be displayed)
Subject    (optional, usually best left blank)
Message
File []
Password  (for deleting posts, automatically generated)
  • How to format text
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 10000 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.

File 143976386030.png - (172.37KB , 700x700 , 1-01.png )
663050 No. 663050 ID: c0fe75

YOU MAGIC BALL!
ME HRRUGH!

OK MAGIC BALL, tell Hrrugh how get HRRUGH SPESHUL DREAM!!
132 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 666234 ID: ad936f

I think that went well. We just explained a few things in plain terms that his simple mind could understand. Also, he confirmed that he does, in fact, fuck trees.
>>
No. 666241 ID: 82c018

Hey elf, I bet you can still hear this, can't you?
>>
No. 666251 ID: 102f54

Your master fucked a tree. How does that make you feel?
>>666234
>>
No. 666291 ID: 330ce5

That exchange went swimmingly, we now know this elf is useless and really loves trees. We should grab your remaining supplies at camp and search for greener fields. Consider traveling with Hrrugh, would be a lot safter then traveling alone.
>>
No. 666333 ID: 99cfa8

>>666138
We gave him the usual treatment for people we don't like. That is, lots of insults and scary-sounding nonsense with a few choice unpleasant facts mixed in.
In this case, our close proximity with ogre dick.

>>666234
Oh wow, he did. How does that even...
HEY ELF. How does fucking a tree work, exactly? Do you like carve a hole in it first, or...?

Hey Hrrugh. This treefucking elf decided he wants to destroy us instead of improving us like we were promised. Bash the hell out of him, grab Fifi and let's get out of here.
>>
No. 667115 ID: c0fe75
File 144134140979.png - (257.25KB , 700x700 , 1-12a.png )
667115

"I'm sorry, Master Eleorin! It was an accident! I don't even know how it ha--"

>"Spare me your prattle! The only mistake here is my having agreed to take you on as an apprentice! Do you have any idea, inside that tiny rodent brain of yours, just how much that orb is worth? No, of course not--a savage such as yourself has no hope of comprehending such things! It's time I sent you away for good! I can't believe you... blah blah blah, you're always yada yada yada... blah blah blah..."


...Great, he's gotten all worked up again. I usually just tune him out when he gets like this, until he works it out of his system.


>>We did not intend to be here so it was due to a outside force. Ask him if he has irritated any gods lately that would enjoy fucking with him. He is free to try and destroy us but it might end up with him getting smote for ruining some greater powers fun. Also we might start haunting his clothes or other personal belongings.
>>Tell him we promise to bugger off if he helps fulfill the ogre achieve his dream.
Yeah uh, Eleorin's not gonna notice a thing I say as long as he's yelling at me... but maybe I'll try that after he's calmed down.

>>You like groveling, don't you? So grovel! Grovel at his feet until he gives you some new petty task.
Two steps ahead of you, buster!


>>You know words and stuff. Bit of talking, bit of insane rambling. Possibly something about being rubbed all over ogre crotch for awhile.
>>Tell him that the orb says that you that you had nothing to do with us getting stuck in this thing.
>>we just told him the truth. the fact he is freaking out shows that the truth hurts.
>>A bunch of nonsense. Tell him if we were really demons we wouldn't have told him. We're just a bunch of liars really. I'm not even sure what we are. Probably spirits of the dead or something.
>>The finer points of grooming and manners, and that we've been in the ogre's pants. He was only really unhappy about that last one.
>>All we said was that we could smell his questionable hygiene from outside the camp. Honestly, I don't know what could have set him off like that.
>>Oh, nothing much. We just told him how we've been covered in ogre dick, and he was holding us in his hands.
>>I think that went well. We just explained a few things in plain terms that his simple mind could understand.
Right, so you told him a bunch of nonsense in order to make him angrier at me. You have my undying thanks.


>>That exchange went swimmingly, we now know this elf is useless and really loves trees. We should grab your remaining supplies at camp and search for greener fields. Consider traveling with Hrrugh, would be a lot safter then traveling alone.
Useless to you, maybe! But I'll tell you what: if I'm screwed over by all this and Eleorin kicks me to the curb, I'll go along for the ride, okay? It's not like I'd have mucb else to do if that happens...

>>Oh, uh. You might want to wash your hands later. 'Cause now you're holding us.
Honestly, I'm considering just immolating myself with that flameling Eleorin conjured.

>>Hey elf, I bet you can still hear this, can't you?
>>HEY ELF. How does fucking a tree work, exactly? Do you like carve a hole in it first, or...?
His rambling hasn't skipped a beat--I don't think he can hear you. Let's just say I'm deeply envious of that fact.

>>Hey Hrrugh. This treefucking elf decided he wants to destroy us instead of improving us like we were promised. Bash the hell out of him, grab Fifi and let's get out of here.
The ogre just looks bored out of his skull, back there... so he can't hear you either? What the hell... why am I the only one who doesn't have to hold the orb to hear you?!

>>Also, he confirmed that he does, in fact, fuck trees.
>>Your master fucked a tree. How does that make you feel?
A tree? What? ...Actually, you know what, I'd rather not think about Eleorin having sex with anything. Ugh.
...Oh, wait, I get it, he must've meant...
>>
No. 667117 ID: c0fe75
File 144134145168.png - (87.90KB , 700x700 , 1-12b.png )
667117

>"...blah blah yada yada... Fifi! Are you even paying attention?! Listen here, you mangy cur, you'd--"

>"Dooooggieeeee!!"

Oh gods not again
>>
No. 667119 ID: d90668

Quick throw the orb at them!

We will take one for the team!
>>
No. 667120 ID: 0fc976

Treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
>>
No. 667128 ID: 1cebc8

Throw us to Hrrugh! We can tell him to bear hug the psycho hippie!
>>
No. 667135 ID: e114bc

Hrrugh, intercept whatever that is! Protect Fifi!
>>
No. 667144 ID: dbe554

What did he mean, treeant? Treekin? Nymph? Regardless it seems you are about to be cuddled with a vengeance.
>>
No. 667162 ID: a107fd

Do NOT throw the orb at Eorin's wood-nymph girlfriend. Last time you tried using it as an improvised projectile, the thing with the ogre happened, and that's not even done happening yet. Just hold it out in her general direction so she grabs it first in the course of trying to hug you.
>>
No. 667296 ID: b9cef6

Accept it.
This is your life, until we can figure out a way to get you away from these losers.
>>
No. 667297 ID: 330ce5

Dodge then run behind Hrrugh, and if can please fill us in about who this person is.
>>
No. 667298 ID: 237a99

Evasive action!
>>
No. 667498 ID: c0fe75
File 144149013260.png - (131.21KB , 700x700 , 1-13a.png )
667498

>>Quick throw the orb at them!
>>Do NOT throw the orb at Eorin's wood-nymph girlfriend. Last time you tried using it as an improvised projectile, the thing with the ogre happened, and that's not even done happening yet.
>>Throw us to Hrrugh! We can tell him to bear hug the psycho hippie!
Okay, okay! I'll throw it to the ogre!

"Hrrugh, catch! Help me--Oof!"
>>
No. 667499 ID: c0fe75
File 144149017488.png - (181.09KB , 700x700 , 1-13b.png )
667499

PEEPEE gave MAGIC BALL back Hrrugh! Guess MAGIC BALL BETTER now!!

>>Hrrugh, intercept whatever that is! Protect Fifi!
WOT DAT MAGIC BALL? PEEPEE in TROUBLE?! Hrrugh no know wat INSEP mean so Hrrugh just SMASH TREE LADY!
>>
No. 667501 ID: c0fe75
File 144149020192.png - (298.85KB , 700x700 , 1-13c.png )
667501

>"Ohhh it's da widdle puppyyyyy! Good doggie woggie! Goood poochie woochie!"
>"Please... I can't... breathe!!"

"HEY TREE LADY LET PEEPEE GO!! PEEPEE HELP HRRUGH LEARN MAKE PRETTY SIFONY MUSIC!! LET GO OR HRRUGH SMASH!"
>>
No. 667502 ID: c0fe75
File 144149030662.png - (214.59KB , 700x700 , 1-13d.png )
667502

>"That brute is going to attack Lady Chrysopeleia! Kill it!!"
>"Uh, Master Eleorin, sir, I don't think--"
>"JUST SHOOT HIM YOU IDIOTS!!"

Oh shit not good not good why did I throw it to the ogre
>>
No. 667510 ID: d90668

They tried shooting him before and it did not do much. But if they do manage to hurt him your master and his guards might get pounded into past.

Not a huge loss really.
>>
No. 667516 ID: 3663d3

that elf says kill you, kill him first!
>>
No. 667518 ID: 237a99

FiFi, could you explain who this bitch is and why she has the hots for you?

Hrrugh, no smash. only separate.
>>
No. 667520 ID: ad936f

HRUGH! Do not smash stupid lady, pisspiss isn't in danger.
I know you can make music, but can you dance? The only way I see you coming out of this alive is if you bust out some moves so sick that the archers are all like, "I can't kill this ogre he's far too valuable to the world of dance, it would be a crime against the universe."
>>
No. 667545 ID: e114bc

>>667502
Hrrugh I think Fifi is fine. No smash.

Fifi, tell the plant lady to let go of you please.
>>
No. 667677 ID: a107fd

Stand down, Hrrugh. The kobold is not in (immediate) danger. Tree lady wants to be friends. She probably knows something about symphonic music, too, you should ask her about that.

Incidentally, if Eorin's orders are anything to go by, the guards are probably going to be shooting at you again soon. Before somebody gets a lucky hit in your eye or something, you might want disarm them... by which I mean taking away and destroying the crossbows, not ripping off delicate elven arms at the shoulder, just to avert the obvious.
>>
No. 667679 ID: 0fc976

No! Don't smash, Hruugh might smash Peepee too! Just use your skills at rotten garlic breath intimidation! Make the assailant wilt under your fearsome gaze!
>>
No. 667716 ID: 3009b4

Angry yell man is problem; makes angry yell noise.

Remove angry yell man's tongue. Make less noise.

Make sure stare at other guards while do it. Staring means they know you serious.
>>
No. 667743 ID: b9cef6

Dont smash her! Just smash them apart, gently. Don't want to accidentally hurt FiFi or the tree lady, do we?
>>
No. 668204 ID: c0fe75
File 144168046323.png - (176.12KB , 700x700 , 1-14a.png )
668204

>>Hrrugh, no smash. only separate.
>>HRUGH! Do not smash stupid lady, pisspiss isn't in danger.
>>Hrrugh I think Fifi is fine. No smash.
>>Stand down, Hrrugh. The kobold is not in (immediate) danger. Tree lady wants to be friends. She probably knows something about symphonic music, too, you should ask her about that.
No SMASH TREE LADY? MAGIC BALL think TREE LADY help Hrrugh MAKE SIFONY MUSIC?

>>Dont smash her! Just smash them apart, gently. Don't want to accidentally hurt FiFi or the tree lady, do we?
HUH?? SMASH... gentle? UMMM... Hrrugh TRY?
>>
No. 668206 ID: c0fe75
File 144168050948.png - (1.16MB , 700x4200 , 1-14b.png )
668206

HEY! GENTLE SMASH work! PEEPEE OK! Maybe TREE LADY teach Hrrugh how MAKE SIFONY MUSIC cuz Hrrugh NO REAL SMASH!

>"Aagh! ...Um. Thanks, Hrrugh?"
>>
No. 668207 ID: c0fe75
File 144168053776.png - (63.87KB , 700x700 , 1-14c.png )
668207

>>FiFi, could you explain who this bitch is and why she has the hots for you?
That's Chrysopeleia. She, um, thinks I'm Eleorin's pet dog. DON'T LAUGH. And speaking of "the hots," that's what Eleorin's got for her, 'cause he's got some kind of weirdo dryad fetish or something.

>>They tried shooting him before and it did not do much. But if they do manage to hurt him your master and his guards might get pounded into past.
>>Not a huge loss really.
That's what you think, but right now I need Eleorin alive! He can go get beaten to a pulp after I'm a full conjurer!
>>
No. 668208 ID: c0fe75
File 144168056045.png - (176.51KB , 700x700 , 1-14d.png )
668208

>"Just shoot him already!"
>"Sir, I don't think he's going to hurt--"
>"I don't care! Just kill it!"
>"With all due respect, sir, our arrows didn't do much against the earlier. And if it's not actually going to be violent, I don't think it's a good idea to provoke the beast! I think I speak for everyone here when I say we'd like to make it back home with our limbs intact."

>"...Fine. I will take care of this nuisance myself."
>>
No. 668210 ID: 3663d3

look he have magic hand, put us in hand to eat magic.
>>
No. 668212 ID: 1cebc8

Hrrugh, lick his hands! He uses magic with his mind, and you can attack his mind by breaking his concentration, which you can break by drowning his hands in your spit!

Basically, Slobber + Elf Hands -> Psychological Damage ON Elf -> Elf Brain GO BOOM
>>
No. 668233 ID: 0fc976

Elf lady's hand is on fire! Fire bad for tree lady! Quick, spit on it to put it out!
>>
No. 668236 ID: e114bc

>>668208
Fifi you're gonna have to intervene if you don't want him fighting the ogre and probably losing and dying.

Hrrugh, try not to kill the elf. Do you think you can grab him and like, break his hands or something to keep him alive yet also not fighting you?
>>
No. 668248 ID: a107fd

>>668207
> She, um, thinks I'm Eleorin's pet dog

You're claiming you aren't? I've seen dogs that got a lot more respect, and tricks taught to them, than Eleorin gives to you.
>>
No. 668299 ID: b9cef6

Hrrugh, would you poke the tree lady with us? Thanks.

GO HUG YOUR MAN
>>
No. 669687 ID: 220063
File 144229104040.png - (162.51KB , 700x700 , 1-15a.png )
669687

>>Hrrugh, would you poke the tree lady with us? Thanks.

OK! Hrrugh POKE!
>>
No. 669688 ID: 220063
File 144229122048.png - (149.81KB , 700x700 , 1-15b.png )
669688

>>GO HUG YOUR MAN

...wha? My man? Who said that...?
>>
No. 669690 ID: 220063
File 144229126365.png - (201.86KB , 700x700 , 1-15c.png )
669690

>>look he have magic hand, put us in hand to eat magic.
>>Hrrugh, lick his hands!
>>Elf lady's hand is on fire! Fire bad for tree lady! Quick, spit on it to put it out!
Hrrugh know what DO! Hrrugh lick STINKY ELF MAGIC off ELRON HANDS! Then magic make Hrrugh good SIFONY MUSIC GUY!

glorp

>"Aagh! Eeuuggh!! What in the world are you doing, you miserable beast?!"
>>
No. 669691 ID: 220063
File 144229132299.png - (224.98KB , 700x700 , 1-15d.png )
669691

Uurgh... Hrrugh no feel good...

>"Y-you hideous monster! Look what you've done! You're going to p--"

urrp
>>
No. 669692 ID: 220063
File 144229137286.png - (279.41KB , 700x700 , 1-15e.png )
669692

BLOOOORF
>>
No. 669693 ID: dbe554

He just...He just ate magic, How. HOW!? How is that possible in any sort of manner!?

...That can't be good for either of the two, I mean...What sort of effects are magic that's been eaten and literally belched up.. Is this an ogre trait?
>>
No. 669696 ID: e114bc

>>669692
Oh god, is he dead?
>>
No. 669698 ID: 1cebc8

THAT WAS AWESOME

Unfortunately, that means that he's on VOMIT FIRE

You need PISS WATER to stop him from burning alive

*Private*
lol
*/Private*
>>
No. 669702 ID: 0fc976

Hrrugh is master konjurer! That one step closer to making SIFONY musics!

Guess what Treetops, your boyfriend flambe over there got you a present - us! And I mean 'present' in the same way you get crabs.
>>
No. 669727 ID: a107fd

Eleorin, assuming you survive the short-term effects of this: know, now, that you will never be clean again. You will go home, and conjure the purest water and the finest brushes and the most astringent soaps, and scrub and scrub and scrub until all those tools are ruined and befouled and your skin is peeling off like birchbark, and the smell will never be gone. It's soaked into your muscles and bones by now. You will die and your soul will pass on and there, in the very moment you arrive at the halls of judgement, the God of Elves will notice you, and proclaim that your eternal rest shall be banishment to the howling darkness beyond, because the very essence of your being reeks of ogre vomit.
>>
No. 669781 ID: ad936f

If Eolorin is conscious tell him I called him a punk-ass bitch.
[Return] [Entire Thread] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]

Delete post []
Password  
Report post
Reason